{"id":302635,"date":"2012-11-20T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-11-20T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/death-is-the-new-life\/"},"modified":"2025-01-09T14:38:24","modified_gmt":"2025-01-09T19:38:24","slug":"death-is-the-new-life","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/death-is-the-new-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Death is the New Life"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dying to yourself probably isn&#8217;t at the top of your list of things you need to do today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dying to yourself probably isn&#8217;t at the top of your list of things you need to do today.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-20.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.62M","filesize_raw":"24767121","date_recorded":"2012-11-20 12:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[5231],"podcast_series":[7912],"cwp_profile":[3373],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302635","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-die-to-self","podcast_series-die-young","cwp_profile-michael-and-hayley-dimarco","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302635\/death-is-the-new-life","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302635\/death-is-the-new-life","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"BzOityLYuE\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/death-is-the-new-life\/\">Death is the New Life<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/death-is-the-new-life\/embed\/#?secret=BzOityLYuE\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Death is the New Life&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"BzOityLYuE\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Dying to yourself probably isn't at the top of your list of things you need to do today.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-20.pdf","transcript_content":"<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is a difference between putting a Band-Aid over your sin and really dealing with it.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Michael DiMarco:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s actually almost like a wound.\u00a0 It\u2019s like a physical wound.\u00a0 If all we do is wrap it up and hide it\u2014that we think applying pressure and putting a bandage on it, that\u2019s good.\u00a0 Well, no.\u00a0 You have to clean the wound; otherwise, it\u2019s going to get infected.\u00a0 Once it gets infected, it courses through our blood system.\u00a0 Then, we can die from an infection.\u00a0 So, that act of confession really does cleanse the wound, and it leads to healing.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, November 20<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Don\u2019t you hate when you really have to deal with sin, instead of just covering it up?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about why the hard way is the right way.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 So, I\u2019m just curious.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if we ever got around to you in this discussion we\u2019ve been having this week about a moment when you kind of recognized that dying to self was a part of what you\u2019d signed on for as a follower of Christ.\u00a0 Do you remember\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014a moment or was it gradual?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 Let me introduce our guests first.\u00a0 Then, I\u2019ll tell that story.\u00a0 Hayley and Michael DiMarco join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Welcome back, guys.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They give leadership to a ministry called Hungry Planet.\u00a0 They create books, resources, for teenagers and now, parents.\u00a0 They are meddling in a really gritty book.\u00a0 I told Bob\u2014I said, \u201cThey wrote something that I\u2019ve been pounding the table about.\u201d\u00a0 I just don\u2019t hear many people today talking about Romans 12:1-2, that the way you\u2019re transformed is by becoming a living sacrifice.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, which is a contradiction in terms when you think about it.\u00a0 And sacrifice is not something that lives; yet, that is what the Bible is saying. \u201cYes, you keep living, but now, you\u2019re dead to self.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Everybody wants the will of God; they don\u2019t want the process that takes them to the will of God.\u00a0 In Romans 12:1-2, it says the way you get the will of God is by giving up all\u2014dying to self.\u00a0 That\u2019s the name of your book, <em>Die Young<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Back to the question Bob asked, \u201cWas there a time in my life when I died young,\u201d the answer was, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 I was between my sophomore and junior year in college, and it really was hitting me if the claims of Christ are right, then He doesn\u2019t just want my Sunday religiosity; He wants seven days a week, 365.\u00a0 He wants the life.\u00a0 As imperfect as it is, He wants all of me.<\/p>\n<p>I remember literally being nauseated, sick at my stomach, because I thought, \u201cIf I do this thing, He\u2019s going to put me on a banana boat.\u00a0 And I\u2019m going to float across the ocean to Africa or some country to become this \u2018miserable missionary.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s a tip off of my theology of who God is.\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 I\u2019m confessing that.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a good\u2014a real accurate picture that God doesn\u2019t want our lives to turn around and make us miserable.\u00a0 He wants us to die to self so He can give us real life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s part of you today that would love to be living in Africa doing mission work, isn\u2019t there?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there is.\u00a0 It\u2019d be a lot simpler over there in some regards.\u00a0 It really would, but that\u2019s at the core of what you guys are teaching in this book, right, Hayley?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and we talked a little bit yesterday about the idea of happiness and that not being our goal; and that when you die to self, you give up kind of that pursuit of happiness.\u00a0 But I want to say, on the heels of what you just said, Dennis, that there\u2019s an amazing symptom of dying to self; and that is happiness, or as the Bible refers to it, joy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, that joy that is never ceasing but doesn\u2019t falter in these times of trial and suffering and times of difficulty; that is the outcome of dying to self.\u00a0 It\u2019s much more permanent than the happiness we want to pursue.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You will have\u2014you really will have difficulty\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Certainly.\u00a0 Well, there\u2019s no doubt.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014trials, suffering.\u00a0 I mean you\u2019re going to have tons of it\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Each one of us.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014whether you are married or single, whether you have one child, five or six.\u00a0 I mean it doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 The point is, life is full of valleys and mountain tops.\u00a0 The question is, how are you going to traverse both?\u00a0 What\u2019s your perspective to do that?<\/p>\n<p>In your book you have a table of contents that outlines each of the chapters.\u00a0 We\u2019ve already hit a couple of these.\u00a0 Chapter One is \u201cDeath Is the New Life\u201d.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we\u2019re talking about here.\u00a0 Jesus Christ called us to be like a grain of wheat: Fall on the ground and die.\u00a0 He calls us to die, so we can live.<\/p>\n<p>Secondly, we talked about \u201cDown Is the New Up\u201d.\u00a0 That\u2019s humility, not being filled with pride, but knowing who we are, rightly evaluating who we are in light of who God is.\u00a0 I want you to speak about the third chapter, \u201cLess Is the New More.\u201d\u00a0 And Hayley, that\u2019s your Achilles heel because you said\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 (Laughter)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you admit it.\u00a0 You admit it in the book.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Shopping therapy has always been my number one treatment for everything that ails me.\u00a0 So, yes, I\u2019ve ended up over the years in great debt because of my shopping\u2014not just financial debt but spiritual debt.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been controlled by my urge for stuff to the point where it literally\u2014there came a point where it made me sick.\u00a0 I just felt like the house was crawling with stuff, like the things didn\u2019t fit in the closets.\u00a0 There was so much coming out.\u00a0 I had no room to put it all.\u00a0 It just made me crazy.<\/p>\n<p>So, yes, this was kind of the beginning of this death to self was when I started to look around and see how much stuff meant to me and how much it fed my flesh.\u00a0 But of course, we don\u2019t mean just stuff being actual, physical stuff.\u00a0 I mean it could be being busy all the time; it can be even our kids\u2014anything that takes the place of our worship of God becomes a problem.\u00a0 I was hit smack dab in the face with that -- my worship was of anything but God.\u00a0 I found opportunities to worship stuff.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you looked at that and tried to evaluate, \u201cWhat\u2019s really going on in my heart here,\u201d what was exposed?\u00a0 Why would you say, \u201cI will feel better if I come home with something I\u2019ve just bought?\u201d\u00a0 What\u2019s\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a good\u2014it\u2019s a visceral reaction.\u00a0 I walk through Target.\u00a0 That\u2019s kind of my drug\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s your temple?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of choice.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I walk through there.\u00a0 I just see the things, and I see them in my house making my life better.\u00a0 I see a beautiful home where everything is put together and the plates match and the silverware is not bending\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and I see happiness.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014I\u2019ve got to stop you there because I\u2019m married to a woman who I made this statement to\u2014and it\u2019s one of the true original lines I\u2019ve ever given my wife that was really on target.\u00a0 I mean here\u2019s what I said to her.\u00a0 I said, \u201cBarbara, wherever you go, you make things beautiful.\u201d\u00a0 And she does.\u00a0 She makes things beautiful.<\/p>\n<p>There are listeners right now who are hearing you describe your home.\u00a0 Is it wrong to want to make things beautiful, to make a home appealing to the eye?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s not.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it\u2019s wrong at all.\u00a0 I think the problem comes with our heart with regard to it.\u00a0 My heart was that I couldn\u2019t be happy without it.\u00a0 I literally could not walk out of the store if I saw something that appealed to me.\u00a0 I had no power over that.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t matter if my bank account was overdrawn.\u00a0 I had to have that.\u00a0 So, the way that we worship the stuff is what\u2019s important\u2014it\u2019s the problem.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s almost like when\u2014if people have an opportunity to say \u201cCome over to the house,\u201d and if the house isn\u2019t perfect\u2014if that\u2019s a roadblock\u2014like in my family, my mother would not allow us to bring friends over.\u00a0 We wouldn\u2019t have people over to the house if the house wasn\u2019t looking good, if it wasn\u2019t clean, like, \u201cOh, wow, the house is a mess\u2014no we just can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>So, when the appearance of things or the condition of things\u2014\u201cWell, we don\u2019t have a nice enough car for us to participate in the carpool,\u201d that\u2019s where it becomes --Hayley alluded to it\u2014becomes a matter of worship.\u00a0 The \u201cLess Is the New More,\u201d it\u2019s not just stuff.\u00a0 It can be activities, it can be friendships, it can be followers on Twitter or friends on Facebook.\u00a0 \u201cI need more. I need more.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just have to ask you if this Target temple worship that we\u2019ve been talking about here, was this after you got married or before you got married?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I ended up in $20,000 worth of debt when I was right out of college.\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t college debt.\u00a0 That was just credit card debt, and I wasn\u2019t married at the time.\u00a0 It was the way that I defined myself.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But did you start confronting this\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 I started confronting it after I got married, yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 After you got married.\u00a0 So, basically, you were bringing debt and the problem into this joint relationship.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I had gotten rid of the debt by then, but I brought in the worship.\u00a0 I brought in the worship.\u00a0 It still exists.\u00a0 There are still times when I say, \u201cI really want to have my friends over, but the house is just a mess.\u201d\u00a0 Michael will say, \u201cAre you kidding me?\u00a0 Have we not worked through this?\u00a0 This house, the way it looks is not more important than community and than fellowship.\u00a0 And your friends love you regardless of how the house looks.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Now, that is hard for me to overcome, and I have to hear it from him regularly.\u00a0 Otherwise, I can become consumed with how beautiful everything looks.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, how practically have you dealt with this idol?\u00a0 Back before Easter, Lent\u2014I actually fasted during Lent from certain things, and it was healthy for me to do that because I gave up things that I thought were becoming too important to me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s good.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 Do you fast from Target?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I did more than that.\u00a0 It was a few years ago when we started to confront this idea; and we\u2014I took an entire year off from buying anything new except food.\u00a0 I went to Goodwill\u00a0 if we needed anything.\u00a0 So I took a year off from Target.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t even go in it.\u00a0 At first I tried just to go in it with no cash, but I had credit cards.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, did that cure you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t\u2014no, I tried\u2014really, right now, we\u2019re going through the process of daily giving away three things a day, myself and my daughter.\u00a0 We go through the house and say, \u201cLet\u2019s give away three things a day,\u201d just to keep our minds in that idea that this stuff isn\u2019t important.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t give away some stuff, then something is wrong.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Like what?\u00a0 What are you giving away?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I started with my closet.\u00a0 I started giving away clothes.\u00a0 That\u2019s the easiest because they\u2019re just everywhere.\u00a0 Right now, I\u2019ve\u2014but this is the most tortuous one\u2014it\u2019s giving away books.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, right now, there is a listener who downloaded the broadcast on their iPhone or their iPod, and they are walking through Target; and she\u2019s convicted.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve just ruined it for them.\u00a0 (Laughter)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What is your advice?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Put it back.\u00a0 You don\u2019t need it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Step away from the counter.\u00a0 Get out of the store now.\u00a0 (Laughter)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sometimes on date night, I put on a red polo shirt, and she gets very amorous.\u00a0 (Laughter)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What\u2019s your advice to that woman?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hate to even say it because they are just going to scream at me, but my advice is stop and ask yourself, \u201cWhy do I want this?\u00a0 What is my motivation behind it?\u201d\u00a0 If it isn\u2019t so you can serve God better, then put it back because really the chief end of man is to glorify God.\u00a0 Is the stuff in your cart going to glorify Him?\u00a0 It might be something your kids need for school.\u00a0 That\u2019s part of your ministry, that\u2019s part of your glorifying God; but if it\u2019s not, then, is it meant to glorify you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It sounds to me a little bit like this dying to stuff thing is not making you happier.\u00a0 Do you know what I\u2019m saying?\u00a0 I mean as you are expressing it, this sounds hard.\u00a0 This sounds unpleasant.\u00a0 Is there joy and peace and hope in what you\u2019re doing?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, there is relief in it.\u00a0 I think that for a lot of us the stuff becomes a burden.\u00a0 Even though it\u2019s joyful when you\u2019re shopping for it, when you get it home it becomes a burden.\u00a0 And the relief from that is found in just the letting go.\u00a0 Just like when I\u2019m in an argument with Michael.\u00a0 If I hold on to that, it feels good to get back at him and to show him how I\u2019m right because that does feel better.\u00a0 It\u2019s a quicker payoff.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 The end result will be more suffering because it will compound\u2014it just builds more and more animosity between us.\u00a0 It\u2019s the same with stuff.\u00a0 The more I buy stuff, the more it builds this feeling of just \u201cI\u2019m overwhelmed.\u00a0 I\u2019m too busy.\u00a0 There\u2019s too much to do.\u00a0 There\u2019s too much going on in my life.\u201d\u00a0 And how many women complain about that?<\/p>\n<p>If we could just let go of the stuff\u2014meaning not just the physical things, but our calendars filled with stuff.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m too busy to go play with my kids or even to play with my husband.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got too much to do.\u201d\u00a0 Does that feel like happiness?\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 But letting it go and living a simple life in all those areas, you will find a great peace, a great freedom.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, my cell phone is ringing; and I just looked at who it\u2014it\u2019s because I have the CEO of Target on my speed dial.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWill you back off?\u00a0 You\u2019re causing problems to our bottom line.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)<\/p>\n<p>I want to move on to Chapter 6 because I really liked this concept.\u00a0 On one hand, I don\u2019t like it.\u00a0 I mean none of these\u2014the flesh really just claps its hands and cheers about\u2014in the end, back to Bob\u2019s point, there really is joy and peace as a result.\u00a0 But Chapter 6, \u201cConfession Is the New Innocence.\u201d\u00a0 You have a picture in this chapter of handcuffs that are open.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying confession results, not in going to jail and to being imprisoned, but to true freedom.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you said it.\u00a0 Boy, that would have shortened the book if you would have just written that.\u00a0 (Laughter)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve written several of those short books, Michael.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, it seems paradoxical, the idea\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that if I own up, if I confess, if I tell the truth, that\u2019s not going to lead to innocence.\u00a0 That\u2019s going to lead to exposure.\u00a0 Everybody\u2019s going to know what\u2019s really true about me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, the picture of walking into a courtroom and pleading guilty does not--in our flesh--doesn\u2019t have a rosy outcome\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but in Christ\u2019s economy, in God\u2019s economy, that is exactly what it means.\u00a0 James 5:16 says, \u201cTherefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.\u201d\u00a0 Healing comes from confession.\u00a0 So, we can say the inverse, then, is probably true; that non-confession leads to illness.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the Psalms say\u2014David\u2014when I concealed my sin\u2014<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014it had a physical impact on me.\u00a0 My bones withered.\u00a0 So, the Bible affirms that trying to keep our image intact and hold in the truth about what\u2019s going on in our lives is going to hurt us physically, emotionally, spiritually.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s actually almost like a wound.\u00a0 It\u2019s like a physical wound.\u00a0 If we\u2019re wounded, whether it\u2019s self-inflicted or someone else wounds us, if all we do is wrap it up and hide it, we think applying pressure and putting a bandage on it, \u201cThat\u2019s good.\u201d\u00a0 Well, no.\u00a0 You have to clean the wound; otherwise, it\u2019s going to get infected.<\/p>\n<p>Once it gets infected, it courses through our blood system.\u00a0 Then, we can die from an infection.\u00a0 So, that act of confession really does cleanse the wound, and it leads to healing.<\/p>\n<p>But it\u2019s also that the second part of that verse in James 5:16 says, \u201cThe prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.\u201d\u00a0 We kind of sometimes just skim over that and go, \u201cOh, well, that\u2019s just kind of like\u2014oh, yes, food for thought.\u00a0 Okay.\u201d\u00a0 But what that\u2019s really saying is \u201cWho are you confessing to?\u00a0 Don\u2019t just go out and confess willy-nilly to anyone that will listen\u2014to the box boy at the grocery store and your bus driver.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>No, what it says is confess to a spiritually mature person who isn\u2019t going to condemn you but is going to speak God\u2019s truth and mercy and grace into your life and that doesn\u2019t dismiss your confessions like, \u2018Oh, that\u2019s not a big deal.\u2019\u00a0 But that hears your confession and encourages your repentance because that\u2019s like having someone actually sew up the wound and offer that healing.<\/p>\n<p>We actually do that with our daughter.\u00a0 We were very intentional when Addie was born; what we wanted to do was create a culture where Addie confesses so well it\u2019s like second nature.<\/p>\n<p>She broke something one time underneath our television, and she didn\u2019t think it was broken; but when I found that it was broken and I spoke out loud about it, my first reaction\u2014because Hayley and I trained ourselves, committed ourselves spiritually to making our family this way\u2014<\/p>\n<p>I said, \u201cWell, maybe I might have broken it when I put the new DVD player in.\u201d\u00a0 She just has her back to me and she\u2019s coloring and she says, \u201cBoppa\u201d\u2014because she calls me Boppa\u2014she goes, \u201cBoppa, if a ball hit that, could that have broken it?\u201d\u00a0 And I got this\u2014and instead of blood coursing through my veins from my father or from my mother\u2014it was this new creation that 2 Corinthians 5:17 talks about that God does in our lives.\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, yes, that probably\u2014well, thank you for solving that mystery.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And there is a reason why Addie does this.\u00a0 It\u2019s because she\u2019s observed you two practicing this spiritual discipline in your marriage.\u00a0 Explain to our listeners how that works in your relationship because I think this is really healthy.\u00a0 Barbara and I do this, but I don\u2019t think as intentionally as you guys go about it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, just driving here from Tennessee\u2014we wanted to drive, so that we could bring Addie because we like to bring her so she can observe this sort of thing.\u00a0 I can\u2019t even remember what I was talking about; but we were driving and I confessed this and I confessed that and it wasn\u2019t because it was weighing on me, but it was just in conversation, so that Hayley could stay in touch with the real me and not the concealed me.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember what it was either; but it was something along the lines of something you didn\u2019t do.\u00a0 You said, \u201cI confess I\u2019ve been lazy on that.\u201d\u00a0 You said something else, \u201cI confess I\u2019ve been a glutton in that.\u201d\u00a0 It just kept coming and coming.\u00a0 It was very natural, and it was very\u2014it was very loving for the woman to hear those kinds of things.\u00a0 It\u2019s like, \u201cWow!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 But here is the other key point: Hayley is a righteous person.\u00a0 She is safe to confess to.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 By righteous, you mean there is grace there.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to fear that \u201cIf I confess, there is going to be punishment.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 She\u2014I\u2019m not going to get condemnation and law from her.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to get grace and affirmation and spiritual support.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s not going to use it later against you in an argument.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 As a weapon, that\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, what we\u2019re talking about here is found in Romans 12:1-2.\u00a0 We talked about it at the beginning of the broadcast: \u201cI appeal to you, therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.\u00a0 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind; that, by testing, you may discern what is the will of God, what is good, acceptable and perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just need to add to that\u2014what was Bill Bright\u2019s favorite verse?\u00a0 Because it applies right here to what we\u2019ve been talking about.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t you think?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve got it written down here in my Bible.\u00a0 It\u2019s Galatians\u2014Galatians 2:20, \u201cI have been crucified with Christ.\u00a0 It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.\u00a0 And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ll bet I heard Bill Bright quote that passage\u2014it has to be a thousand times.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He died young, didn\u2019t he?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He died young.\u00a0 He died young.\u00a0 I appreciate you guys.\u00a0 I really like what you\u2019ve done here in your book, <em>Die Young<\/em>, because I think taking us back where a lot of authors today are really ignoring the core part of discipleship\u2014which He said, \u201cPick up your cross, die to self, and come after me daily.\u00a0 Follow me.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s how you are a disciple of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 It\u2019s how you live life.\u00a0 It\u2019s how you are a husband, a wife, a dad, a mother, a grandparent, a single person in this culture.\u00a0 This is the way of life.<\/p>\n<p>Appreciate you guys.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Appreciate you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just sitting here trying to think who\u2019s going to want this book.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Of course, you were probably thinking that when you wrote it; but in reality, anybody who really has been transformed by the Gospel, transformed by Christ\u2014there\u2019s something in you going, \u201cI need this.\u00a0 I want this.\u201d\u00a0 I think your book helps us understand what dying to self looks like.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s called <em>Die Young<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center, written by Michael and Hayley DiMarco.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how to get a copy of the book.\u00a0 Again, the title is <em>Die Young<\/em>.\u00a0 The website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also request the book when you call us.\u00a0 Our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.<\/p>\n<p>Now, I hope those of you who listen regularly and those of you who help support our ministry know how much we appreciate your partnership with us.\u00a0 I know some of you listen regularly and have never made a donation\u2014maybe you\u2019re just not in a place where you can make a donation to support a ministry like ours.<\/p>\n<p>Well, I want you to know we are grateful that there are folks who have stepped up and said, \u201cWe believe that this is important, and we want to see it continue in our community;\u201d and they have made a donation on your behalf, so that you can continue to listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, so that others in this city can listen to the program\u2014people all around the world can hear it.<\/p>\n<p>We appreciate the partnership we have with those of you who are able to make an occasional donation to help support the ministry.\u00a0 Your donations go to defray the costs of producing and syndicating this program, keeping us on the air in this city, cities all across the country, online at FamilyLifeToday.com 24 hours a day, seven days a week.\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for the support you provide when you make a donation.<\/p>\n<p>In fact, this week, we\u2019re saying thank you by sending you a conversation about thankfulness.\u00a0 We had a conversation with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, the author of a book called <em>Choosing Gratitude<\/em>, about how we cultivate thankful hearts.\u00a0 We\u2019d like to send you that two-CD set, about two hours worth of conversation on the subject.\u00a0 It\u2019s our way of saying thank you to you for your generous support of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Make your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation; and just mention you\u2019d like the CDs on gratitude when you get in touch with us by phone.<\/p>\n<p>We hope you can be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Jerry Sittser\u2019s going to be with us again.\u00a0 He was here last week.\u00a0 He joins us tomorrow to talk about the question that a lot of people ask when they are in the middle of suffering and that\u2019s the question, \u201cWhy me?\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re going to explore that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can tune in.<\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.<\/p>\n<p>Help for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n<p>1<\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302635","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302635"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302635"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302635"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302635"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302635"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302635"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302635"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}