{"id":302631,"date":"2012-11-14T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-11-14T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/living-out-your-story-of-redemption\/"},"modified":"2012-11-14T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-11-14T17:00:00","slug":"living-out-your-story-of-redemption","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/living-out-your-story-of-redemption\/","title":{"rendered":"Living Out Your Story of Redemption"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Jerry Sittser talks about the years after the accident when he focused on raising his children as a single dad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-14.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.21M","filesize_raw":"23287823","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822,2936],"tags":[4280,4584,2732,2216],"podcast_series":[7911],"cwp_profile":[9167],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302631","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-remarriage","tag-death","tag-fear","tag-remarriage","tag-suffering","podcast_series-a-grace-revealed","cwp_profile-jerry-sittser","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302631\/living-out-your-story-of-redemption","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302631\/living-out-your-story-of-redemption","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"iSoB3PKAVk\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/living-out-your-story-of-redemption\/\">Living Out Your Story of Redemption<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/living-out-your-story-of-redemption\/embed\/#?secret=iSoB3PKAVk\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Living Out Your Story of Redemption&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"iSoB3PKAVk\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-14.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-14.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who is the person that God uses in a powerful way for His purposes?\u00a0 Jerry Sittser says the answer may surprise you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s simply people who listen to God; and by virtue of life experiences and a sense of calling from God, they simply embrace some kind of great cause for the sake of the Kingdom.\u00a0 Who knows what it is?\u00a0 Could be lots of different things, but they have this steely sense that God is calling them to do this.\u00a0 They figure out how to make it happen by the grace of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 14<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Does God want to use your life in significant ways to advance His Kingdom?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that what you want?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 There is a penetrating question in the book that we\u2019ve been talking about this week, the book, <em>A Grace Revealed<\/em>.\u00a0 The middle of the book\u2014here\u2019s the question.\u00a0 It says, \u201cWhat do you want to be known for?\u00a0 What kind of a person do you really want to become?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I thought, \u201cWhat your life is going to look like really comes out of how you\u2019re going to wrestle with those two questions: What do you want to be known for?\u00a0 What kind of person do you want to become?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, let\u2019s ask the guy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the author of those questions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, let\u2019s find out what he wants to be known for.\u00a0 Jerry Sittser joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Jerry is a good friend.\u00a0 Welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He is a professor at Whitworth University up in Spokane, Washington.\u00a0 He and his wife, Patricia, have five children.\u00a0 Jerry has three with his first wife, who was killed in a car wreck in 1991, and Patricia brought two of her own children into your marriage.\u00a0 So, you now have five grown children as a couple.\u00a0 Did you\u2014well, before I get to the question of how you met Patricia, let\u2019s ask the question.\u00a0 What do you want to be known for, Jerry?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to be rich.\u00a0 I want to be famous\u2014no.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 In fact, I do the opposite in the book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell this story\u2014and it was actually very significant for me.\u00a0 In the \u201890\u2019s, I was speaking at a big convention on loss, and there were maybe 50 people lined up to have me sign one of my books and to talk to them.\u00a0 I looked on that line, and there was something about it that just seemed wrong to me.\u00a0 I\u2019m not suggesting that people who sign books and speak at conventions are wrong.\u00a0 It was wrong for me because I sensed that I was starting to kind of almost market my own experience of loss.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Could I stop you right there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to authenticate what he\u2019s saying for our audience.\u00a0 Bob knows Jerry was one of the stiffest arm-wrestlers, strongest arm-wrestlers, in terms of getting him on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> the first time, of any guest in 20 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you had read his book, <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em>, years ago.\u00a0 You found it very helpful.\u00a0 You said, \u201cI want to talk to this author.\u00a0 I think he\u2019ll help our listeners.\u201d\u00a0 So, we contacted you.\u00a0 We said, \u201cWould you come down?\u201d\u00a0 You said, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 We said, \u201cPlease.\u201d\u00a0 You said, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 We had to come two or three times; and finally, I\u2019m not sure why you relented.\u00a0 Do you remember why you relented?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 The hundred thousand dollars that you paid me.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Hold it.\u00a0 Hold it.\u00a0 Tonda\u2014I think Tonda Nations had something to do with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tonda, why did he relent?\u00a0 Do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tonda:<\/strong>\u00a0 I guess I was a good salesman.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what it was.\u00a0 It was Tonda\u2019s salesmanship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was Tonda.\u00a0 It certainly wasn\u2019t the two of you, I\u2019ll tell you that.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just wanted to say, though, he sent a message back to us in one of those notes: \u201cHey, look, guys, I didn\u2019t want to become famous or be known because of a car wreck that took the life of my mother, wife, and daughter.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yet you\u2019ve seen, as you\u2019ve shared your story and as you\u2019ve been open and transparent about your story with audiences through your books, through speaking, God\u2019s used that redemptively in people\u2019s lives, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I don\u2019t deny that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t deny that God does that in lots of ways, but I still think that, for my own sake, my own protection\u2014even more so for the protection of my children, my kids needed me to live an ordinary life, not become famous on the speaking circuit going here and there and everywhere telling the family story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne reason why is because we tend to get fixated on that one event, and I was more interested in the story coming out of the event than the event itself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, anyway, here I am speaking.\u00a0 I decide at the end of that I\u2019m not going to go on the speaking circuit anymore about this experience.\u00a0 Well, then, three years later, I\u2019m teaching at a university in Africa.\u00a0 My kids are doing volunteer work at an orphanage, and they go there twice a week.\u00a0 <br><br>Well, I went with them only once to visit.\u00a0 I fell into a conversation with an African nun, and she described what her life was like.\u00a0 Basically, it was this: I get up, I pray, I eat some ordinary food, I care for the children, I pray, care for the children, eat, pray, care for the children, eat, put them into bed, pray, and go to bed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 She gets off one month every seven years.\u00a0 Most of the time, they don\u2019t have hot water.\u00a0 A lot of the time, they don\u2019t have electricity.\u00a0 Then she looked at me, and with this serenity in her face\u2014I will never forget\u2014she said with a kind of beautiful smile, \u201cThis is my life.\u201d\u00a0 And I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s the life I want to live right there.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDay in, day out, whether I\u2019m teaching at a university, writing books, spending time with students, raising my children, putting food on the table, folding laundry, I want to have that same kind of quality of serenity in the ordinariness of life and learn to live every moment for God however ordinary it is.\u00a0 That\u2019s dignity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 For 19 years you did that as a single parent.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You pursued that as a single parent.\u00a0 Then, the last time you were here, we were having lunch and Dennis said, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d\u00a0 And you said, \u201cWell, actually, I\u2019ve met this woman.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did meet a woman, yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, tell us that story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, her name is Patricia.\u00a0 I\u2019ve known her for many years.\u00a0 In fact, she knew my first wife.\u00a0 We attended the same church.\u00a0\u00a0 Then I switched churches so my kids could attend a church that was closer to home.\u00a0 I revisited that church to do a book-signing and to meet some old friends and ran into her.\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t seen her for many years.\u00a0 We began to chat.\u00a0 Eventually, we started to have coffee together and took some walks and so on and realized that it had potential of being serious.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI actually had an on-again, off-again relationship with a woman for a number of years, but the thing that kept me back, held me back, was my commitment to raise my kids.\u00a0 I just did not want to\u2014well, I hate to sound so fancy about it but kind of break the narrative trajectory, the trajectory of redemption I felt like we were on.\u00a0 I wanted to protect that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second.\u00a0 Let\u2019s stop here because we have a number of single-parent moms and dads who are in those woods right now\u2014deep in the thicket.\u00a0 You said earlier before we came in to do radio\u2014you said, \u201cIt\u2019s hard.\u00a0 It\u2019s incredibly hard work.\u201d\u00a0 But you just said you wanted to continue that trajectory.\u00a0 What do you mean by that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 First of all, I\u2019m not saying that remarriage is wrong.\u00a0 I\u2019ve remarried.\u00a0 I\u2019m not saying remarriage is wrong even if you have younger children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor my own story, once the ship got balanced again and we had a course set, I just didn\u2019t want to mess\u2014I mean it\u2019s so conservative of me, but I\u2019ll tell you I was conservative\u2014conservative, in the true meaning of that word.\u00a0 I wanted to conserve this kind of new family unit we had become and this sense of identity we had developed as a family of four.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was just the strong, intuitive sense I had, Dennis and Bob, that I was to maintain that course.\u00a0 So, when I met this wonderful woman years ago, I just could not break that course that I had set.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, anyway, I met Pat, or Patricia\u2014Pat, I call her.\u00a0 There were some sparks, and we began to spend time together.\u00a0 I realized that this really did have potential.\u00a0 So I made this decision right away.\u00a0 I met with each of our kids, my three, her two, privately without her knowledge.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know anything about this.\u00a0 She thought we were on the five-year plan, if that.\u00a0 I mean I talked about my hesitancy to remarry.\u00a0 So, she knew that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI met with each of them privately.\u00a0 I asked them if they would be willing to give their blessing to a courtship, and I made promises to them.\u00a0 I said, \u201cI will always be good to Pat.\u00a0 I promise you that.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to worry about that.\u00a0 I will do my best to help Pat be the best mother she can be.\u201d\u00a0 I said that to her two girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo my kids I said, \u201cI will not make this relationship an idol.\u00a0 That is, it\u2019s not going to sidetrack me from being the best dad I can be for you.\u201d\u00a0 And I promised all of them that we would try to set a godly example of this relationship, and it would not come at their expense.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean it\u2014we shared life together, and they were honest with me.\u00a0 So, it wasn\u2019t this kind of syrupy experience.\u00a0 There were tears. We talked it over, and I got blessing from all five.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 It sounds a little to me, like what you are saying is the relationship your mom has with you or the relationship I have with you, as your dad, will trump this new relationship going forward.\u00a0 Is that what you are saying?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 If not trump, then, certainly, not lose its centrality to our lives and to each of our family stories.\u00a0 That mattered a lot to me.\u00a0 I wanted to honor my children, basically, and I knew she wanted to honor her children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when I finally proposed to her, by the way, I was sitting at the park where we had always gone on our walks together; and we talked and laughed and so on.\u00a0 Then, I read her a section on marriage from Gregory the Great, church father from the seventh century.\u00a0 I do that with her a lot.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I said, \u201cHey, I got to tell you about five conversations I\u2019ve had.\u201d\u00a0 And I recounted the conversation I had with each of the kids.\u00a0 By then, of course, she was crying.\u00a0 I looked at her; and I said, \u201cI\u2019ve one last person I need to talk to,\u201d and it was her.\u00a0 And I proposed.\u00a0 We immediately gathered with our kids.\u00a0 It was a lovely, lovely experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we married, we made promises to our children, before we made vows to each other.\u00a0 Our kids surrounded us in the wedding ceremony, and they gave their blessing to us as part of the liturgy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s cool.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s beautiful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a\u2014was it a dinner at the wedding that you had a barbeque?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, the night before, wasn\u2019t it?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a barbeque the night before.\u00a0 Then, something else happened that was astonishing to me\u2014and this was a surprise to me.\u00a0 At the end of this gathering of maybe 60 of our family and friends, we stood up; and we celebrated our children\u2014lots of tears again.\u00a0 Thanked our friends for their support and so on.\u00a0 Then, I said, \u201cI\u2019d like to close in prayer.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, Pat interrupted me and said, \u201cNo, I have one other thing I have to say.\u00a0 There is one other person I need to honor.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cThere is one person here that deserves more honor than anyone else,\u201d and she mentioned my first wife.\u00a0 She began to tell stories, stories of her own recollections of her as a mother with young children, as a soprano soloist at our church, and other things like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she shared some impressions of what it was like to see me go through the accident and raise those three kids, which she was able to see for many years.\u00a0 Then, at the end, she said, \u201cI am marrying a man and inheriting three children who have been profoundly shaped by a good and godly woman; and I want to honor her publicly before everyone to say that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what she did in that moment is she honored our past story.\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt\u2019s sacred and holy.\u00a0 I\u2019m not here to change it.\u00a0 I\u2019m not here to compete with it.\u00a0 I\u2019m here to honor it.\u201d\u00a0 But she also drew attention to the richness of the present at the same time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have to ask you here because your former wife\u2014she had a past story worthy of honor.\u00a0 There are a lot of people who are trying to put a new marriage, new family together; they look back on both of their past stories, and they don\u2019t find much honorable.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 But it\u2019s still their story, Bob.\u00a0 That\u2019s the point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, this is part of the mystery of redemption.\u00a0 It\u2019s that story matters.\u00a0 Sometimes we\u2019re going to have great sections.\u00a0 There are going to be beautiful chapters in that story.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to want to retell those stories a lot and think about them a lot; but all of us at some time have dark chapters too, painful chapters, sometimes, shameful chapters.\u00a0 But we have to remember those too because they are all a part of the story; and God is in the business of taking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the wreckage of our life, no matter how much bad there is, no matter how much bad we have done, and somehow, by His grace and discipline, I will say, work that out into a story that is redemptive and beautiful and healing and whole.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jerry, your first wife, Linda, was killed in that car wreck, and you wrote a book called <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em>.\u00a0 You talk about how in the midst of that tragedy there was bewilderment, confusion, how you were trying to make sense of life in the midst of these losses.\u00a0 Your daughter died, your mother died.\u00a0 To what extent is Patricia really behind the title of this new book, <em>A Grace Revealed<\/em>?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not much, as strange as that sounds, and here is why\u2014and she would say this too about her own story\u2014that God would work redemption, marriage, remarriage or not.\u00a0 He is amazingly flexible on one level because He\u2019s not at all flexible on the other.\u00a0 Flexible with circumstances, He can take pretty much whatever we throw His way, and work it out, because He is incredibly inflexible in what His ultimate plan is\u2014and that is to conform us to the image of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I could have stayed single the rest of my life.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it would have bothered God one bit.\u00a0 I think God would have continued to do His work; and Patricia could have remained single for the rest of her life, and the same thing would have happened.\u00a0 We chose instead to submit ourselves to a different set of circumstances\u2014and that is holy marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Holy marriage, as you know, is kind of a workshop.\u00a0 God works out our salvation in marriage like He does in singleness.\u00a0 In that workshop, I\u2019m learning how to love another human being, and we\u2019re learning how to join two stories and making them for this period of time\u2014however long it lasts\u2014into one story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And your journey from here to the finish line, for you, may be a journey of simplicity and simple joy; or there could be another tragedy that comes your way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There could be.\u00a0 Pat and I have talked about this quite a bit, actually.\u00a0 I mean right now at this moment on this particular day life looks good to us.\u00a0 Our kids are doing well.\u00a0 They\u2019re all good friends with each other.\u00a0 Four of them live in Seattle, and they call themselves \u201cThe Seattle Chapter\u201d of the family.\u00a0 They have dinners together.\u00a0 They attend the same church.\u00a0 It\u2019s rich.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019re very happily married.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got lots of friends.\u00a0 We\u2019re invested in ministries.\u00a0 There are lots of things about this story, right now, that look good.\u00a0 There is no guarantee it\u2019s going to continue that way; but thick or thin, in plenty or in want, in singleness and marriage, rich or poor, healthy or ill, in all of the various circumstances, one thing never changes: God and His redemptive purposes for our life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He is at work; and as you\u2019ve talked here today, two things have just been echoing in my heart.\u00a0 Number one, He wants to work His redemptive story in broken people\u2019s lives.\u00a0 We\u2019re all broken\u2014every one of us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m as broken now, Dennis, as I was 20 years ago right after the accident.\u00a0 There is no difference at all.\u00a0 I may feel better now, but I still need fixing.\u00a0 I still need redemption.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter what my circumstances are; doesn\u2019t even matter how I feel.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Jerry, it was interesting; I asked you that question\u2014I really felt like I tossed you a softball to really give Patricia some kudos here: Is she the \u201cGrace Revealed?\u201d\u00a0 I really liked your answer because you didn\u2019t center it on a human being.\u00a0 You went back to who God is and what God\u2019s doing and how He\u2019s at work in our lives, working out His plan and purpose in a broken man\u2019s life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, I will say, \u201cShe\u2019s an amazing human being\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cand there is not a day that I do not thank God for the gift that she is to me and to my children,\u201d honestly.\u00a0 I have a friend who said, \u201cJerry, you\u2019re one of the few people I know who married up twice in life.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you clarified that because there will be some who will want to write and say, \u201cWait a second!\u00a0 Did I hear him say what he said?\u201d\u00a0 I just wanted to make sure they didn\u2019t miss the big story that he was talking about here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and I knew that Dennis got out his highlighter when in your book, you said, \u201cNo institution on earth forces you to learn the art of love quite like marriage.\u00a0 Biology might motivate you to love your children.\u00a0 Not so your spouse.\u00a0 What keeps a marriage going and growing is commitment, the daily discipline of love.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Am I learning that or what?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is a second thing that echoed in my heart as you were speaking; and that is that there is no life\u2014no living person listening to this broadcast\u2014whose life is beyond redemption.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the people who I had read the manuscript is a friend of mine who is in prison.\u00a0 I wanted him to be able to read this manuscript and look me straight in the eye and say, \u201cThis book gave me hope.\u00a0 I, too, can lead a redeemed life.\u201d\u00a0 There is no person on planet Earth, no matter who they are and no matter what their circumstances, whom God does not want to take as they are and make their life over the course of a lifetime\u2014spilling into Heaven, of course\u2014whole and complete once again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to read this to remind our listeners of the God of whom we speak here.\u00a0 Romans, chapter five, verse six, \u201cFor while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.\u201d\u00a0 He died to redeem people who were not like Him.\u00a0 He was perfect.\u00a0 We are not.\u00a0 And there is no one, no listener who is outside the reach of the redemption of God found in the person of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve not made that discovery of what Jerry\u2019s talking about and what we\u2019ve interacted about here on the broadcast today, I\u2019d just encourage you, pull off to the side of the road, get down on your knees in your kitchen, get down on your knees before you go to bed tonight and surrender.\u00a0 Settle the issue of who owns your life, of who your master is, and who is the only one who can lift you out of your mess\u2014because we are all messes and we all need redemption.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 If anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation.\u00a0 All things have become new.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 On our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, there is a link we have there that helps you look at two ways to live\u2014because there really are two ways to live.\u00a0 There is living with your own agenda, with your own direction, deciding what\u2019s right in your own eyes.\u00a0 Then there is living the yielded, surrendered, obedient life that we\u2019ve been talking about here.\u00a0 And they lead two different places.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d encourage our listeners, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on that link, \u201cTWO WAYS TO LIVE,\u201d and consider what we\u2019ve talked about here.\u00a0 How are you living?\u00a0 Whose agenda are you following?\u00a0 Whose direction are you obeying?\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u201cTWO WAYS TO LIVE.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, look for information as well about the book we\u2019ve been talking about that Jerry Sittser has written called <em>A Grace Revealed<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s a look at how God has worked in Jerry\u2019s life\u2014in your story\u2014for redemptive purposes.\u00a0 It\u2019s a little more clear 20 years after the tragedy that you experienced when your wife and your mother and one of your children were killed in a car wreck.\u00a0 To look at that from 20 years later, you see a different story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on Jerry Sittser\u2019s book, <em>A Grace Revealed<\/em>.\u00a0 Our website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also request the book when you call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 It\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things we all have to learn over a lifetime is how we cultivate contentment in the middle of hard times and how we cultivate gratitude.\u00a0 In fact, recently I was with a group of people, and we were reading together through the book of Colossians.\u00a0 The word that just kept jumping out at us was the word, \u201cthanksgiving,\u201d how many times we are called on to be thankful, to do everything with a spirit of thanksgiving.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing grateful is not something that just happens naturally.\u00a0 It\u2019s something that we have to develop.\u00a0 It\u2019s a godly grace that we have to cultivate, and we had an extended conversation not long ago about this subject with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, who has written a book called <em>Choosing Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0 <br><br>This week, we\u2019d like to make available to you the CDs that feature more than two hours of conversation with Nancy on the subject of gratitude, as our way of saying how grateful we are for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 If you are able to make a donation to help defray the costs of producing and syndicating this daily radio program, we will send you these CDs as our thank you gift.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 When you contact us, let us know that you\u2019d like to receive the CD set on <em>Choosing Gratitude<\/em>, the CDs with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and we\u2019re happy to get those out to you.\u00a0 We hope you know that we are grateful for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We really do appreciate you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Jerry Sittser is going to be here again, and we\u2019ll have another guest joining us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019ll introduce him to you on tomorrow\u2019s program.\u00a0 Hope you can be here for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.21M"],"filesize_raw":["23287823"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302631.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302631.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px 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Sittser talks about the years after the accident when he focused on raising his children as a single dad.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who is the person that God uses in a powerful way for His purposes?\u00a0 Jerry Sittser says the answer may surprise you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s simply people who listen to God; and by virtue of life experiences and a sense of calling from God, they simply embrace some kind of great cause for the sake of the Kingdom.\u00a0 Who knows what it is?\u00a0 Could be lots of different things, but they have this steely sense that God is calling them to do this.\u00a0 They figure out how to make it happen by the grace of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 14<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Does God want to use your life in significant ways to advance His Kingdom?\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that what you want?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 There is a penetrating question in the book that we\u2019ve been talking about this week, the book, <em>A Grace Revealed<\/em>.\u00a0 The middle of the book\u2014here\u2019s the question.\u00a0 It says, \u201cWhat do you want to be known for?\u00a0 What kind of a person do you really want to become?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I thought, \u201cWhat your life is going to look like really comes out of how you\u2019re going to wrestle with those two questions: What do you want to be known for?\u00a0 What kind of person do you want to become?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, let\u2019s ask the guy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the author of those questions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, let\u2019s find out what he wants to be known for.\u00a0 Jerry Sittser joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Jerry is a good friend.\u00a0 Welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He is a professor at Whitworth University up in Spokane, Washington.\u00a0 He and his wife, Patricia, have five children.\u00a0 Jerry has three with his first wife, who was killed in a car wreck in 1991, and Patricia brought two of her own children into your marriage.\u00a0 So, you now have five grown children as a couple.\u00a0 Did you\u2014well, before I get to the question of how you met Patricia, let\u2019s ask the question.\u00a0 What do you want to be known for, Jerry?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to be rich.\u00a0 I want to be famous\u2014no.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 In fact, I do the opposite in the book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI tell this story\u2014and it was actually very significant for me.\u00a0 In the \u201890\u2019s, I was speaking at a big convention on loss, and there were maybe 50 people lined up to have me sign one of my books and to talk to them.\u00a0 I looked on that line, and there was something about it that just seemed wrong to me.\u00a0 I\u2019m not suggesting that people who sign books and speak at conventions are wrong.\u00a0 It was wrong for me because I sensed that I was starting to kind of almost market my own experience of loss.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Could I stop you right there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to authenticate what he\u2019s saying for our audience.\u00a0 Bob knows Jerry was one of the stiffest arm-wrestlers, strongest arm-wrestlers, in terms of getting him on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> the first time, of any guest in 20 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you had read his book, <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em>, years ago.\u00a0 You found it very helpful.\u00a0 You said, \u201cI want to talk to this author.\u00a0 I think he\u2019ll help our listeners.\u201d\u00a0 So, we contacted you.\u00a0 We said, \u201cWould you come down?\u201d\u00a0 You said, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 We said, \u201cPlease.\u201d\u00a0 You said, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 We had to come two or three times; and finally, I\u2019m not sure why you relented.\u00a0 Do you remember why you relented?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 The hundred thousand dollars that you paid me.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Hold it.\u00a0 Hold it.\u00a0 Tonda\u2014I think Tonda Nations had something to do with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tonda, why did he relent?\u00a0 Do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tonda:<\/strong>\u00a0 I guess I was a good salesman.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what it was.\u00a0 It was Tonda\u2019s salesmanship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was Tonda.\u00a0 It certainly wasn\u2019t the two of you, I\u2019ll tell you that.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just wanted to say, though, he sent a message back to us in one of those notes: \u201cHey, look, guys, I didn\u2019t want to become famous or be known because of a car wreck that took the life of my mother, wife, and daughter.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yet you\u2019ve seen, as you\u2019ve shared your story and as you\u2019ve been open and transparent about your story with audiences through your books, through speaking, God\u2019s used that redemptively in people\u2019s lives, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I don\u2019t deny that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t deny that God does that in lots of ways, but I still think that, for my own sake, my own protection\u2014even more so for the protection of my children, my kids needed me to live an ordinary life, not become famous on the speaking circuit going here and there and everywhere telling the family story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne reason why is because we tend to get fixated on that one event, and I was more interested in the story coming out of the event than the event itself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, anyway, here I am speaking.\u00a0 I decide at the end of that I\u2019m not going to go on the speaking circuit anymore about this experience.\u00a0 Well, then, three years later, I\u2019m teaching at a university in Africa.\u00a0 My kids are doing volunteer work at an orphanage, and they go there twice a week.\u00a0 <br><br>Well, I went with them only once to visit.\u00a0 I fell into a conversation with an African nun, and she described what her life was like.\u00a0 Basically, it was this: I get up, I pray, I eat some ordinary food, I care for the children, I pray, care for the children, eat, pray, care for the children, eat, put them into bed, pray, and go to bed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 She gets off one month every seven years.\u00a0 Most of the time, they don\u2019t have hot water.\u00a0 A lot of the time, they don\u2019t have electricity.\u00a0 Then she looked at me, and with this serenity in her face\u2014I will never forget\u2014she said with a kind of beautiful smile, \u201cThis is my life.\u201d\u00a0 And I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s the life I want to live right there.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDay in, day out, whether I\u2019m teaching at a university, writing books, spending time with students, raising my children, putting food on the table, folding laundry, I want to have that same kind of quality of serenity in the ordinariness of life and learn to live every moment for God however ordinary it is.\u00a0 That\u2019s dignity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 For 19 years you did that as a single parent.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You pursued that as a single parent.\u00a0 Then, the last time you were here, we were having lunch and Dennis said, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d\u00a0 And you said, \u201cWell, actually, I\u2019ve met this woman.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did meet a woman, yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, tell us that story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, her name is Patricia.\u00a0 I\u2019ve known her for many years.\u00a0 In fact, she knew my first wife.\u00a0 We attended the same church.\u00a0\u00a0 Then I switched churches so my kids could attend a church that was closer to home.\u00a0 I revisited that church to do a book-signing and to meet some old friends and ran into her.\u00a0 I hadn\u2019t seen her for many years.\u00a0 We began to chat.\u00a0 Eventually, we started to have coffee together and took some walks and so on and realized that it had potential of being serious.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI actually had an on-again, off-again relationship with a woman for a number of years, but the thing that kept me back, held me back, was my commitment to raise my kids.\u00a0 I just did not want to\u2014well, I hate to sound so fancy about it but kind of break the narrative trajectory, the trajectory of redemption I felt like we were on.\u00a0 I wanted to protect that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second.\u00a0 Let\u2019s stop here because we have a number of single-parent moms and dads who are in those woods right now\u2014deep in the thicket.\u00a0 You said earlier before we came in to do radio\u2014you said, \u201cIt\u2019s hard.\u00a0 It\u2019s incredibly hard work.\u201d\u00a0 But you just said you wanted to continue that trajectory.\u00a0 What do you mean by that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 First of all, I\u2019m not saying that remarriage is wrong.\u00a0 I\u2019ve remarried.\u00a0 I\u2019m not saying remarriage is wrong even if you have younger children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor my own story, once the ship got balanced again and we had a course set, I just didn\u2019t want to mess\u2014I mean it\u2019s so conservative of me, but I\u2019ll tell you I was conservative\u2014conservative, in the true meaning of that word.\u00a0 I wanted to conserve this kind of new family unit we had become and this sense of identity we had developed as a family of four.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was just the strong, intuitive sense I had, Dennis and Bob, that I was to maintain that course.\u00a0 So, when I met this wonderful woman years ago, I just could not break that course that I had set.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, anyway, I met Pat, or Patricia\u2014Pat, I call her.\u00a0 There were some sparks, and we began to spend time together.\u00a0 I realized that this really did have potential.\u00a0 So I made this decision right away.\u00a0 I met with each of our kids, my three, her two, privately without her knowledge.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know anything about this.\u00a0 She thought we were on the five-year plan, if that.\u00a0 I mean I talked about my hesitancy to remarry.\u00a0 So, she knew that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI met with each of them privately.\u00a0 I asked them if they would be willing to give their blessing to a courtship, and I made promises to them.\u00a0 I said, \u201cI will always be good to Pat.\u00a0 I promise you that.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to worry about that.\u00a0 I will do my best to help Pat be the best mother she can be.\u201d\u00a0 I said that to her two girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo my kids I said, \u201cI will not make this relationship an idol.\u00a0 That is, it\u2019s not going to sidetrack me from being the best dad I can be for you.\u201d\u00a0 And I promised all of them that we would try to set a godly example of this relationship, and it would not come at their expense.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean it\u2014we shared life together, and they were honest with me.\u00a0 So, it wasn\u2019t this kind of syrupy experience.\u00a0 There were tears. We talked it over, and I got blessing from all five.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 It sounds a little to me, like what you are saying is the relationship your mom has with you or the relationship I have with you, as your dad, will trump this new relationship going forward.\u00a0 Is that what you are saying?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 If not trump, then, certainly, not lose its centrality to our lives and to each of our family stories.\u00a0 That mattered a lot to me.\u00a0 I wanted to honor my children, basically, and I knew she wanted to honor her children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when I finally proposed to her, by the way, I was sitting at the park where we had always gone on our walks together; and we talked and laughed and so on.\u00a0 Then, I read her a section on marriage from Gregory the Great, church father from the seventh century.\u00a0 I do that with her a lot.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I said, \u201cHey, I got to tell you about five conversations I\u2019ve had.\u201d\u00a0 And I recounted the conversation I had with each of the kids.\u00a0 By then, of course, she was crying.\u00a0 I looked at her; and I said, \u201cI\u2019ve one last person I need to talk to,\u201d and it was her.\u00a0 And I proposed.\u00a0 We immediately gathered with our kids.\u00a0 It was a lovely, lovely experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we married, we made promises to our children, before we made vows to each other.\u00a0 Our kids surrounded us in the wedding ceremony, and they gave their blessing to us as part of the liturgy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s cool.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s beautiful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a\u2014was it a dinner at the wedding that you had a barbeque?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, the night before, wasn\u2019t it?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a barbeque the night before.\u00a0 Then, something else happened that was astonishing to me\u2014and this was a surprise to me.\u00a0 At the end of this gathering of maybe 60 of our family and friends, we stood up; and we celebrated our children\u2014lots of tears again.\u00a0 Thanked our friends for their support and so on.\u00a0 Then, I said, \u201cI\u2019d like to close in prayer.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, Pat interrupted me and said, \u201cNo, I have one other thing I have to say.\u00a0 There is one other person I need to honor.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cThere is one person here that deserves more honor than anyone else,\u201d and she mentioned my first wife.\u00a0 She began to tell stories, stories of her own recollections of her as a mother with young children, as a soprano soloist at our church, and other things like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she shared some impressions of what it was like to see me go through the accident and raise those three kids, which she was able to see for many years.\u00a0 Then, at the end, she said, \u201cI am marrying a man and inheriting three children who have been profoundly shaped by a good and godly woman; and I want to honor her publicly before everyone to say that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, what she did in that moment is she honored our past story.\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt\u2019s sacred and holy.\u00a0 I\u2019m not here to change it.\u00a0 I\u2019m not here to compete with it.\u00a0 I\u2019m here to honor it.\u201d\u00a0 But she also drew attention to the richness of the present at the same time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have to ask you here because your former wife\u2014she had a past story worthy of honor.\u00a0 There are a lot of people who are trying to put a new marriage, new family together; they look back on both of their past stories, and they don\u2019t find much honorable.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 But it\u2019s still their story, Bob.\u00a0 That\u2019s the point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, this is part of the mystery of redemption.\u00a0 It\u2019s that story matters.\u00a0 Sometimes we\u2019re going to have great sections.\u00a0 There are going to be beautiful chapters in that story.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to want to retell those stories a lot and think about them a lot; but all of us at some time have dark chapters too, painful chapters, sometimes, shameful chapters.\u00a0 But we have to remember those too because they are all a part of the story; and God is in the business of taking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the wreckage of our life, no matter how much bad there is, no matter how much bad we have done, and somehow, by His grace and discipline, I will say, work that out into a story that is redemptive and beautiful and healing and whole.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jerry, your first wife, Linda, was killed in that car wreck, and you wrote a book called <em>A Grace Disguised<\/em>.\u00a0 You talk about how in the midst of that tragedy there was bewilderment, confusion, how you were trying to make sense of life in the midst of these losses.\u00a0 Your daughter died, your mother died.\u00a0 To what extent is Patricia really behind the title of this new book, <em>A Grace Revealed<\/em>?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not much, as strange as that sounds, and here is why\u2014and she would say this too about her own story\u2014that God would work redemption, marriage, remarriage or not.\u00a0 He is amazingly flexible on one level because He\u2019s not at all flexible on the other.\u00a0 Flexible with circumstances, He can take pretty much whatever we throw His way, and work it out, because He is incredibly inflexible in what His ultimate plan is\u2014and that is to conform us to the image of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I could have stayed single the rest of my life.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it would have bothered God one bit.\u00a0 I think God would have continued to do His work; and Patricia could have remained single for the rest of her life, and the same thing would have happened.\u00a0 We chose instead to submit ourselves to a different set of circumstances\u2014and that is holy marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Holy marriage, as you know, is kind of a workshop.\u00a0 God works out our salvation in marriage like He does in singleness.\u00a0 In that workshop, I\u2019m learning how to love another human being, and we\u2019re learning how to join two stories and making them for this period of time\u2014however long it lasts\u2014into one story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And your journey from here to the finish line, for you, may be a journey of simplicity and simple joy; or there could be another tragedy that comes your way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>There could be.\u00a0 Pat and I have talked about this quite a bit, actually.\u00a0 I mean right now at this moment on this particular day life looks good to us.\u00a0 Our kids are doing well.\u00a0 They\u2019re all good friends with each other.\u00a0 Four of them live in Seattle, and they call themselves \u201cThe Seattle Chapter\u201d of the family.\u00a0 They have dinners together.\u00a0 They attend the same church.\u00a0 It\u2019s rich.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019re very happily married.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got lots of friends.\u00a0 We\u2019re invested in ministries.\u00a0 There are lots of things about this story, right now, that look good.\u00a0 There is no guarantee it\u2019s going to continue that way; but thick or thin, in plenty or in want, in singleness and marriage, rich or poor, healthy or ill, in all of the various circumstances, one thing never changes: God and His redemptive purposes for our life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He is at work; and as you\u2019ve talked here today, two things have just been echoing in my heart.\u00a0 Number one, He wants to work His redemptive story in broken people\u2019s lives.\u00a0 We\u2019re all broken\u2014every one of us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m as broken now, Dennis, as I was 20 years ago right after the accident.\u00a0 There is no difference at all.\u00a0 I may feel better now, but I still need fixing.\u00a0 I still need redemption.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter what my circumstances are; doesn\u2019t even matter how I feel.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Jerry, it was interesting; I asked you that question\u2014I really felt like I tossed you a softball to really give Patricia some kudos here: Is she the \u201cGrace Revealed?\u201d\u00a0 I really liked your answer because you didn\u2019t center it on a human being.\u00a0 You went back to who God is and what God\u2019s doing and how He\u2019s at work in our lives, working out His plan and purpose in a broken man\u2019s life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, I will say, \u201cShe\u2019s an amazing human being\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cand there is not a day that I do not thank God for the gift that she is to me and to my children,\u201d honestly.\u00a0 I have a friend who said, \u201cJerry, you\u2019re one of the few people I know who married up twice in life.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m glad you clarified that because there will be some who will want to write and say, \u201cWait a second!\u00a0 Did I hear him say what he said?\u201d\u00a0 I just wanted to make sure they didn\u2019t miss the big story that he was talking about here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and I knew that Dennis got out his highlighter when in your book, you said, \u201cNo institution on earth forces you to learn the art of love quite like marriage.\u00a0 Biology might motivate you to love your children.\u00a0 Not so your spouse.\u00a0 What keeps a marriage going and growing is commitment, the daily discipline of love.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 Am I learning that or what?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is a second thing that echoed in my heart as you were speaking; and that is that there is no life\u2014no living person listening to this broadcast\u2014whose life is beyond redemption.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the people who I had read the manuscript is a friend of mine who is in prison.\u00a0 I wanted him to be able to read this manuscript and look me straight in the eye and say, \u201cThis book gave me hope.\u00a0 I, too, can lead a redeemed life.\u201d\u00a0 There is no person on planet Earth, no matter who they are and no matter what their circumstances, whom God does not want to take as they are and make their life over the course of a lifetime\u2014spilling into Heaven, of course\u2014whole and complete once again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to read this to remind our listeners of the God of whom we speak here.\u00a0 Romans, chapter five, verse six, \u201cFor while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.\u201d\u00a0 He died to redeem people who were not like Him.\u00a0 He was perfect.\u00a0 We are not.\u00a0 And there is no one, no listener who is outside the reach of the redemption of God found in the person of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019ve not made that discovery of what Jerry\u2019s talking about and what we\u2019ve interacted about here on the broadcast today, I\u2019d just encourage you, pull off to the side of the road, get down on your knees in your kitchen, get down on your knees before you go to bed tonight and surrender.\u00a0 Settle the issue of who owns your life, of who your master is, and who is the only one who can lift you out of your mess\u2014because we are all messes and we all need redemption.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jerry:<\/strong>\u00a0 If anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation.\u00a0 All things have become new.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 On our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, there is a link we have there that helps you look at two ways to live\u2014because there really are two ways to live.\u00a0 There is living with your own agenda, with your own direction, deciding what\u2019s right in your own eyes.\u00a0 Then there is living the yielded, surrendered, obedient life that we\u2019ve been talking about here.\u00a0 And they lead two different places.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d encourage our listeners, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on that link, \u201cTWO WAYS TO LIVE,\u201d and consider what we\u2019ve talked about here.\u00a0 How are you living?\u00a0 Whose agenda are you following?\u00a0 Whose direction are you obeying?\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u201cTWO WAYS TO LIVE.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, look for information as well about the book we\u2019ve been talking about that Jerry Sittser has written called <em>A Grace Revealed<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s a look at how God has worked in Jerry\u2019s life\u2014in your story\u2014for redemptive purposes.\u00a0 It\u2019s a little more clear 20 years after the tragedy that you experienced when your wife and your mother and one of your children were killed in a car wreck.\u00a0 To look at that from 20 years later, you see a different story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on Jerry Sittser\u2019s book, <em>A Grace Revealed<\/em>.\u00a0 Our website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also request the book when you call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 It\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things we all have to learn over a lifetime is how we cultivate contentment in the middle of hard times and how we cultivate gratitude.\u00a0 In fact, recently I was with a group of people, and we were reading together through the book of Colossians.\u00a0 The word that just kept jumping out at us was the word, \u201cthanksgiving,\u201d how many times we are called on to be thankful, to do everything with a spirit of thanksgiving.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBeing grateful is not something that just happens naturally.\u00a0 It\u2019s something that we have to develop.\u00a0 It\u2019s a godly grace that we have to cultivate, and we had an extended conversation not long ago about this subject with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, who has written a book called <em>Choosing Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0 <br><br>This week, we\u2019d like to make available to you the CDs that feature more than two hours of conversation with Nancy on the subject of gratitude, as our way of saying how grateful we are for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 If you are able to make a donation to help defray the costs of producing and syndicating this daily radio program, we will send you these CDs as our thank you gift.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d to make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 When you contact us, let us know that you\u2019d like to receive the CD set on <em>Choosing Gratitude<\/em>, the CDs with Nancy Leigh DeMoss, and we\u2019re happy to get those out to you.\u00a0 We hope you know that we are grateful for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We really do appreciate you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Jerry Sittser is going to be here again, and we\u2019ll have another guest joining us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019ll introduce him to you on tomorrow\u2019s program.\u00a0 Hope you can be here for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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