{"id":302622,"date":"2012-11-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-11-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/what-spells-romance\/"},"modified":"2012-11-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-11-01T15:00:00","slug":"what-spells-romance","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-spells-romance\/","title":{"rendered":"What Spells Romance?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What can wives do to keep their marriages from bogging down in the mundane?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-01.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.54M","filesize_raw":"24680409","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2088],"tags":[5230],"podcast_series":[7909],"cwp_profile":[3546],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302622","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-romance-and-sex","tag-making-time-for-romance","podcast_series-the-busy-moms-guide-to-romance","cwp_profile-heidi-st-john","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302622\/what-spells-romance","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302622\/what-spells-romance","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5eK3cNQRmp\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-spells-romance\/\">What Spells Romance?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/what-spells-romance\/embed\/#?secret=5eK3cNQRmp\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What Spells Romance?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5eK3cNQRmp\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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mundane?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-11-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you gone through a dry season in your marriage, a season where you just feel distant from one another?\u00a0 Here\u2019s author and speaker, Heidi St. John:\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 To me, seasons are normal, I know, especially after we\u2019ve had a baby or we\u2019ve gone through a difficult time in our lives or something has happened outside of our family that has impacted our family unit.\u00a0 Sometimes we\u2019ll go for weeks without having very much time to spend together, especially when the little ones were babies, newborns.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll sit down with Jay.\u00a0 We just reaffirm each other that this is a season, \u201cThis is a season.\u00a0 I love you.\u00a0 I just want you to know I\u2019m going to be exhausted for the next three or four weeks.\u201d\u00a0 Jay knows, \u201cShe recognizes that it\u2019s a season.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re acknowledging it.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about it, and we\u2019re moving.\u00a0 We\u2019re looking forward to when this isn\u2019t a season, but right now, it\u2019s all hands on deck, and that\u2019s what it looks like. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we get over it, we\u2019ll celebrate that, that season has come to an end, and we\u2019ll move into a different season.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, November 1<sup>st<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk today with Heidi St. John about how we make sure that those seasons in our marriage when we\u2019re distant from one another are just seasons\u2014how they don\u2019t extend for weeks or even months at a time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I really want you to ask our guest today about the picture on the front of her book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You go ahead and ask her.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the reason for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what you\u2019re getting at, Bob.\u00a0 I mean you\u2019ve got a woman standing there with a bunch of books on a platter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and it looks like a couple of sirloins with an \u201cI love you\u201d in the other platter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And she\u2019s wearing a dress from the 50\u2019s, and she\u2019s got this look on her face\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It may be earlier.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014she\u2019s got this smirk on her face.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHeidi St. John joins us\u2014author of the book, <em>Romance: Nurturing Your Marriage Through the Homeschool Years<\/em>.\u00a0 Heidi is a homeschooling mom of seven.\u00a0 She and her husband, Jay, live in the Pacific Northwest.\u00a0 Tell me where the inspiration for this picture came from, will you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I love to tell the story because people ask me about it all the time.\u00a0 My husband and I went to Barnes &amp; Noble, and we laid out covers of books.\u00a0 We saw a woman on a cover of a book, and we thought, \u201cThe image that everyone thinks of homeschool mom is that she is June Cleaver.\u00a0 She\u2019s got her books in one hand.\u201d\u00a0 So, that is kind of where that came from.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said\u2014Jay was actually in the room, obviously, when we took the pictures; and he said, \u201cHow do you feel when I come home at the end of the day and you\u2019re balancing all this stuff and I say, \u2018Hey, Honey, I\u2019ve made dinner reservations for us?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cGive me the look.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 Snap it, and that\u2019s what we got.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this book is not just for homeschool moms, it\u2019s for busy moms who are tending to the physical well-being, the emotional well-being, the educational well-being of youngsters in their families.\u00a0 Anybody who is doing that knows that can zap a marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want you to go back to a defining moment in your marriage that occurred right from the get-go.\u00a0 I think\u2014didn\u2019t you say you were 19 when this fight occurred?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I think we had been married for about a week, week and a half.\u00a0 We came back from our honeymoon, and my husband and I got in an argument, as newlyweds often do\u2014I\u2019m told.\u00a0 I remember going home, and I remember thinking, \u201cThis is just never going to work.\u00a0 I can\u2019t even believe I married\u2014what have I gotten myself into?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI went home, and I knocked on my mom\u2019s door; and she answered the door, and she said, \u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cI think I signed a piece of paper that gave me a roommate who\u2019s never going to move out.\u201d\u00a0 She was like, \u201cYes. That\u2019s what you did.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI told her what happened.\u00a0 She said, \u201cHeidi, you\u2019re depending on your husband to meet your needs, every single one of your needs.\u00a0 He\u2019s never going to be able to do that.\u00a0 You need to learn to depend on the Lord to meet your needs and, then, look at what He\u2019s given you and Jay.\u201d\u00a0 Then, she started listing the qualities that my husband had.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cWell, thanks for visiting,\u201d and she walked me to the door.\u00a0 I went home, and then by the time I got home\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, no, no.\u00a0 Now, wait a second.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She just booted you out of the house?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 She pretty much did.\u00a0 She gave me the boot, yes.\u00a0 \u201cBye bye.\u00a0 See you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, I want to just stop there.\u00a0 No, seriously, this is really important because we\u2019re talking to some moms\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of adult children\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014who have the daughter come home to cry on the shoulder and if they\u2019re not careful, they can be a part of the unraveling of a marriage relationship early on.\u00a0 They can feed it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They can put seeds, weed seeds, in that relationship.\u00a0 But your mom had the wisdom not to do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, she did, and she was in the middle of a divorce, a painful divorce from my father.\u00a0 She had taken a lot of things that she had done wrong, and she said to me\u2014she said, \u201cHeidi, we did a lot of things wrong, and I\u2019m not going to help you by starting you off doing things wrong with you and your husband.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cYou need to go home.\u00a0 You need to work it out.\u00a0 You\u2019ve married a wonderful, godly man.\u00a0 Let him love you.\u00a0 Let him love you, and you need to love him.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean she literally walked me to the door because I was thinking, maybe, she would give me some tea and cookies.\u00a0 Oh, no.\u00a0 Oh, no.\u00a0 \u201cBye bye.\u00a0 See you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, what you had promised\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cCall me next week.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014at the wedding\u2014you had promised\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014leave and cleave.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014leave and cleave.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But it\u2019s hard for a mom who for 19 years has been caring for, solving, working with, all of those issues; and it\u2019s hard for a daughter who for 19 years has been turning to mom for help, wisdom, and advice to now say, \u201cI\u2019m supposed to go to him.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 Boy, I\u2019ll tell you that set the tone.\u00a0 I never went back to her again when I had an issue with Jay.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, sure, you weren\u2019t going to get\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not that I didn\u2019t call her, but I certainly didn\u2019t go to her house and ask her if I\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you weren\u2019t going to get any brownies.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 She wasn\u2019t going to get\u2014I was like, \u201cWhere are the cookies, man.\u00a0 For 19 years, you gave me cookies.\u00a0 At least do an Oreo, something, you know?\u201d\u00a0 Yes, nothing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, Heidi, you\u2019ve written a book about romance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What spells romance for a woman?\u00a0 What spells romance for a man?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I can tell you, for me\u2014what spells romance for a woman I think is her husband, just knowing that \u201cMy wife is amazing.\u201d\u00a0 I tell women all the time if you\u2019ll just love your husband\u2014tell him his muscles are big.\u00a0 Tell him that you think he\u2019s amazing.\u00a0 Thank him.\u00a0 It\u2019s an investment that you\u2019re making.\u00a0 <br><br>Jay will talk to the men\u2014and I love to listen to him talk to men about what spells romance to me because he said, \u201cIf you want to let your wife know how much you love her, then, get in there and help her.\u00a0 Be a part of her life.\u201d\u00a0 Nothing says love to me like my husband doing dishes.\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you what because he\u2019s saying, \u201cLook, I see what you\u2019re doing all day long.\u00a0 Let me come home and help you.\u00a0 Let me come alongside and partner with you.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s that partnership.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of Bob\u2019s sexiest moments was running the vacuum cleaner.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 See.\u00a0 Amen.\u00a0 I\u2019m right there with him.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s amazing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But I vacuum with big muscles.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Man of the vacuum cleaner.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want you to call Mary Ann and tell her the muscles thing.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to hear that when I go home tonight, you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Well, you know we hear a lot from homeschool dads especially who want to know, \u201cMy wife needs my help.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know how to help her;\u201d and I\u2019ll tell the men, \u201cShe doesn\u2019t need you to get in there and do everything for her, but she wants you to tell her she\u2019s amazing.\u00a0 Tell her she\u2019s doing a good job.\u00a0 Tell her how proud you are of her.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJay has been so good over the last 23 years of just pouring into my life that way.\u00a0 He\u2019s like, \u201cYou know, Heidi, you\u2019re doing a great job.\u00a0 Look at how well Savannah is doing as compared to a year ago.\u00a0 Look how much she\u2019s grown.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019ll say, \u201cThat\u2019s you investing in her life every day.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s just knowing that he loves me, and he\u2019s in partnership with me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne time, we went over to my grandparents\u2019 house.\u00a0 Again, we were newlyweds, and I wrote about my grandparents because they had such a profound impact on my life.\u00a0 We were talking about the issue of submission, you know?\u00a0 This issue had come up in Sunday school class.\u00a0 I thought \u201cI\u2019m going to talk to my grandparents.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019d been married for\u2014what?\u2014I think sixty years at that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said down with Jay, and we said, \u201cGrandpa, tell us what biblical submission\u2014what does that look like?\u201d\u00a0 My grandpa had a wonderful marriage with my grandmother.\u00a0 He looked at me and he said, \u201cYou know, Heidi, in a healthy marriage the issue of submission is never going to come up because you are for each other.\u00a0 In a healthy marriage, the husband is for the wife, and the wife is for the husband, and you are working together toward a common vision, and you have a shared mission.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>It just ministered to me because here I was thinking he was going to pull out all of these verses.\u00a0 He was a pastor, and I thought, \u201cWe\u2019re going to get into this big, theological discussion.\u201d\u00a0 He just said, \u201cI love your grandma, and I\u2019m for your grandma.\u201d\u00a0 I could hear Grandma, \u201cAnd I love your grandpa, and I\u2019m for your grandpa.\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s putting dishes away while he was talking to us on the couch.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cMan, that\u2019s right.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s good perspective.\u00a0 It\u2019s just recognizing how valuable that is to our children, even, and to people who are watching us that we love each other.\u00a0 Jay\u2019s the phone call that I take at the end of the day when I think I can\u2019t take one more phone call.\u00a0 He\u2019s the guy who I want to go out and spend time with when I think I don\u2019t have any more time to spend.\u00a0 It\u2019s priorities.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are still days, seasons, moments, when there\u2019s just not a whole lot of romance to draw on in a marriage, aren\u2019t there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, absolutely.\u00a0 Yes, but I think it\u2019s seasonal.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s what you\u2019re saying.\u00a0 To me, seasons are normal, I know, especially after we\u2019ve had a baby or we\u2019ve gone through a difficult time in our lives or something has happened outside of our family that has impacted our family unit.\u00a0 Sometimes, we\u2019ll go for weeks without having very much time to spend together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember especially when the little ones were babies, newborns, and I\u2019d sit down with Jay.\u00a0 We just reaffirmed to each other, \u201cThis is a season.\u00a0 This is a season.\u00a0 I love you.\u00a0 I just want you to know I\u2019m going to be exhausted for the next three or four weeks.\u00a0 Can we just bear with each other?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to need a little extra hand.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen Jay knows, \u201cShe recognizes that it\u2019s a season.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re acknowledging it.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about it, and we\u2019re moving.\u00a0 We\u2019re looking forward to when this isn\u2019t a season, but right now, it\u2019s all hands on deck; and that\u2019s what it looks like.\u00a0 When we get over it, we\u2019ll celebrate that, that season has come to an end, and we\u2019ll move into a different season.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the reasons, I think, if you have a headache\u2014and there are nights you have a headache\u2014how you say, \u201cI have a headache,\u201d is huge, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it is.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s not the goal of it, at least for me with my husband, has been to not communicate rejection to him because I think so often we do that.\u00a0 I\u2019m always telling women, \u201cIf you\u2019re constantly telling your husband, \u2018No, I have a headache,\u2019 and \u2018No, no, no,\u2019 you\u2019re communicating rejection to him.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying, \u2018I don\u2019t care about you.\u00a0 This part of our relationship isn\u2019t important.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But I want Jay to know, \u201cI genuinely don\u2019t feel good tonight.\u00a0 I\u2019m so tired.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had such a hard day;\u201d and he will listen to me now.\u00a0 He\u2019ll talk to me because he knows that I mean it when I say, \u201cCan we take this up again tomorrow night?\u201d\u00a0 He knows that I\u2019m going to make good on my promise.\u00a0 I\u2019m not just trying to brush him to the side.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat that\u2019s done is that\u2019s built trust between the two of us.\u00a0 So, when I tell him I really had a difficult day, rather than brushing me to the side and just going, \u201cThat\u2019s an excuse because she doesn\u2019t want to have sex,\u201d or whatever it is, he wants to engage.\u00a0 He wants to listen, and that ministers to me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I think there is an ebb and a flow to marriage.\u00a0 It\u2019s not always easy; but when there\u2019s that commitment and that trust that he knows, \u201cHey, we\u2019re going to get back to this.\u00a0 She loves me,\u201d that\u2019s what matters.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s where it gets into trouble, though, because I\u2019ve had this happen.\u00a0 I\u2019ll say, \u201cCome here.\u00a0 We\u2019ll just cuddle.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 In the middle of cuddling, I kind of get this sense that she\u2019s starting to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s warming up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But she\u2019s not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Because she\u2019s going, \u201cHe\u2019s tricking me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s feeling\u2014she\u2019s just decompressing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a ruse.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s feeling content and \u201cThis is great.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m ready to go to sleep.\u201d\u00a0 But I was thinking, \u201cNo, I thought maybe\u201d\u2014\u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOkay.\u201d\u00a0 So, we just\u2014you\u2019ve got to communicate in the midst of all of this, right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there are those moments that happen like that.\u00a0 You spoke earlier about a no romance zone called a vortex\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but you also talk about how we can live parallel lives, and it\u2019s when the seasons turn into multiple seasons, that\u2019s a danger.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s absolutely\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a real danger where a couple needs to make sure they get out of the rut.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right, and I call it parallel living because if you look at parallel lines, that\u2019s what they do.\u00a0 They run side by side.\u00a0 So, he does his thing.\u00a0 He goes to work.\u00a0 He\u2019s providing for the family.\u00a0 He might have a hobby he takes up on the weekend.\u00a0 She\u2019s cleaning house and taking care of the kids, and maybe she\u2019s working from home or whatever it is she\u2019s doing; but their lives are not intersecting in meaningful ways very often.\u00a0 They are not entwined like the cord that Ecclesiastes speaks of.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible says that a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.\u00a0 If you think of these\u2014of a cord and those lines, they run\u2014the cord, the strands run side by side, and they are constantly coming back and touching on some level.\u00a0 Then, that third strand is, of course, a growing relationship with Jesus Christ and nurturing that relationship, especially when your kids are growing and your life is so busy and to be careful about not living parallel lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you put even the teensiest bit of separation, one degree of separation, between those parallel lines, you give it a year or two years\u2014eventually, you\u2019ve got a chasm that is very hard to bridge.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about how you keep that romance alive practically with Jay in your marriage.\u00a0 I mean we talked about earlier how you had kind of a showdown at O.K. Corral.\u00a0 He said, \u201cI\u2019ve missed you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was ultimately he was kind of waving a white flag saying, \u201cHey, we can\u2019t keep living like this.\u00a0 The cord of three strands is not the three strands.\u00a0 We have parallel lines taking place.\u201d\u00a0 What else can you share with a mom about how to keep romance alive with her husband specifically?\u00a0 How to speak romance in his language?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 For me, I just sat down with Jay and asked him tough questions.\u00a0 I tell moms, \u201cOftentimes we\u2019re afraid to ask our husbands to assess us as a wife because we don\u2019t want to hear the answer.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Because what if I say to Jay, \u201cAre you happy with the intimacy in our marriage?\u201d and he says \u201cNo,\u201d what do I do with that?\u00a0 I think we\u2019ve got to stop being afraid to ask the difficult questions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what I did was I sat down with Jay, and I said, \u201cAlright.\u00a0 Let\u2019s hash this out.\u00a0 Tell me,\u201d and I asked him\u2014I think I picked three areas of our life.\u00a0 Intimacy was one of them.\u00a0 Communication was another one, and then, just flat out time because Jay likes to spend time with me, and I knew that was going to be a big issue for him.\u00a0 But I said, \u201cHow do you think we\u2019re doing?\u00a0 When you got married, you had an idea of what intimacy in marriage would be like.\u00a0 How is that working out for you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I had to sit and really listen.\u00a0 It was a loving critique, but it was a critique nonetheless.\u00a0 Then, I needed to make some changes based on what he said to me, and what that communicated to him was \u201cHeidi loves me.\u00a0 She loves me.\u201d\u00a0 Just asking him those questions brought our relationship to a completely different level.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How many years had you been married when you asked those hard questions of Jay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 About ten years.\u00a0 It had been about ten years.\u00a0 Spencer was born by then.\u00a0 So, we had been doing alright.\u00a0 I think we were just living parallel lives.\u00a0 I don\u2019t\u2014I never felt like our marriage was in any real jeopardy.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t feel like we were necessarily suffering, but we were\u2014there was a distance between us.\u00a0 Certainly, we had become kind of like roommates.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe knew that I loved him and we had a good relationship, but he longed for something deeper and so did I.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we signed up for when we got married was an intimacy, and we were missing that intimacy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think we\u2019ve got to ask questions.\u00a0 I had to ask him some tough questions, too, about himself and how he viewed me.\u00a0 Then, I allowed him to ask me questions.\u00a0 I think we opened up a dialogue in a space that we allowed ourselves to be unafraid and say, \u201cThis is a painful thing to ask, but I\u2019m going to ask it anyway.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br>For example, I asked my husband, \u201cDo you ever struggle with pornography?\u00a0 I need to know.\u201d\u00a0 That was a hard word for me to even say as a pastor\u2019s wife.\u00a0 It was so difficult for me, and the conversation that ensued from that was so good for me to hear: an affirmation of my role as his wife and how I could encourage him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me stop you there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to ask you what Jay answered to that question, but I am going to ask you what would you say to the wife whose husband said, \u201cYes.\u00a0 Yes, there\u2019s a problem, and it goes back ten years.\u00a0 I brought it into our marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is such a painful thing.\u00a0 I think pornography is glossed over in the culture because it is basically on television now.\u00a0 It\u2019s everywhere.\u00a0 It\u2019s on the internet.\u00a0 There\u2019s no\u2014you don\u2019t have to associate the shame.\u00a0 We used to have to go to the corner store at least and embarrass yourself to get a magazine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always tell women, \u201cSin thrives in the dark.\u201d\u00a0 It thrives in the dark\u2014just like mold grows in the dark, and we have to shine a light on it.\u00a0 You have to be willing to say, when you hear that answer, \u201cWe need to get help.\u201d\u00a0 That means we\u2019re going to expose this thing to the light.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to start talking to people that we trust.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to find resources to help, not be afraid to talk about it.\u00a0 That means you need to continue to bring it up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo you don\u2019t bring it up one time and then assume that it\u2019s fine now that we\u2019ve had the conversation.\u00a0 It\u2019s continuing to shine that light on it and continuing to bring it in prayer together before the Lord.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you ever spoken to a woman who has had that conversation and it\u2019s come back affirmative and she\u2019s felt a horrible sense of inadequacy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or betrayal.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you say to her?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 I really think there\u2019s hope.\u00a0 I think God is a God of redemption.\u00a0 So often, we look at that\u2014women feel betrayed.\u00a0 I think men don\u2019t often understand this.\u00a0 When a wife finds out that her husband has struggled with pornography, it\u2019s a sense of adultery.\u00a0 It\u2019s a betrayal that goes so, so deep.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI always tell the women, \u201cThis is so important to be real.\u00a0 This is why we keep talking about being real.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to start talking about it because it\u2019s so prevalent in the Christian community.\u00a0 It\u2019s everywhere.\u201d\u00a0 We need to say, \u201cHow can we come together and seek the Lord together?\u201d\u00a0 And that\u2019s what we start doing.\u00a0 We start praying about it.\u00a0 We start talking about it, and there\u2019s hope.\u00a0 God is a God of healing and of restoration.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor every story that I have heard\u2014and I talk to hundreds of moms every year whose husbands have struggled with this.\u00a0 I\u2019m hearing more and more stories now of healing and redemption and restoration; and there\u2019s hope.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s the main thing -- to communicate hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There really is hope, and if there\u2019s a place to find that hope, it\u2019s the Christian community.\u00a0 The thing I would say to that young wife or maybe an older wife, \u201cDon\u2019t take it upon yourself to try to pull your marriage out of the ditch of pornography.\u201d\u00a0 I compare it to a car being off in the ditch with all four wheels.\u00a0 It\u2019s not a matter of getting behind the wheel and just hitting the accelerator and just applying the gas and saying, \u201cWe\u2019re just going to get out of this.\u201d\u00a0 You need a wrecker.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to get help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You need somebody who is on the road, on a stable spot, who can attach a relationship to that marriage and pull that marriage out one wheel at a time.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to take a period of time, a process.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to take honesty of the guy being willing to truly come clean.\u00a0 I\u2019ve found in a lot of cases where a guy gets caught or finally admits, it\u2019s really difficult for him to truly unearth all of what\u2019s been taking place.\u00a0 It\u2019s like one layer of deception on top of another.\u00a0 It\u2019s like layers of an onion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>What most wives are completely caught off guard by is their husband exposes one layer, and they think that\u2019s it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 So painful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And they recoil from it, not realizing that there is probably more.\u00a0 It could be even more devastating than just betrayal with an image.\u00a0 It could\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t go away if you don\u2019t\u2014that\u2019s why I\u2019m saying, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to talk about it.\u00a0 Shine that light on it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to press into it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s back to that passage of Scripture: \u201cConfess your sins to one another, so that you may be healed.\u201d\u00a0 That ought to be taking place within marriage, and it ought to be taking place within the Christian community.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve talked to men about this at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, the marriage getaway that we do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve said, \u201cIf you really want to be free from this issue, first of all you\u2019ve got get some time with God and confess that it\u2019s a sin.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be honest and say, \u2018What You say about this is true.\u2019\u00a0 Secondly, you\u2019ve got to find some accountability, a guy who can help you out; but until you have the courage to go to your wife and say, \u2018I\u2019m struggling here,\u2019 I don\u2019t think you\u2019ll ever get out where it needs to be.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I\u2019ve had to turn to the wives and say, \u201cThat means some of you ladies are going to hear from your husband in the next week\u2014thirty days.\u00a0 He\u2019s going to come to you and he\u2019s going to say, \u2018I\u2019m struggling with this,\u2019 and how you respond to that\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Heidi:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014is pivotal.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cis pivotal.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it doesn\u2019t mean that there\u2019s not genuine hurt that gets experienced and has to be expressed.\u00a0 But here\u2019s why, Bob, I say to each listener, \u201cIf you haven\u2019t made an investment in your marriage in the past 12 to 24 months by getting away and sitting and soaking in a good, biblically-based marriage conference, you\u2019re robbing your marriage, your family, and your own life of richness that you could be enjoying.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s why I\u2019d say to them, \u201cGet to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> where both husbands and wives can hear their job description talked about very authentically but also authoritatively from the Scripture, and find out how you do this thing called Christian marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve got eight <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> events happening this weekend.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to be in Memphis, in St. Louis; Yosemite, California; Park City, Utah; Estes Park, Colorado; Coeur d\u2019Alene, Idaho; Richmond, Virginia; and Carlsbad, California down near San Diego\u2014so, some great locations for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s just this weekend.\u00a0 The rest of the month, we\u2019ve got <em>Weekends to Remember<\/em> happening in cities all across the country\u2014got a couple dozen of these events still to go this month.\u00a0 So, you can find out if there\u2019s going to be one near you when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there\u2019s not a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> near where you are, there may be an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video conference happening near you.\u00a0 Again, at FamilyLifeToday.com, you can click on the link and find out where an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> is being hosted near where you live.\u00a0 The point is, get some time away together as a couple and invest in your marriage.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we\u2019re trying to say.\u00a0 You need to do that regularly.\u00a0 You need to have that built into the rhythm of your life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say at least once a year you ought to have some extended time away\u2014an overnight, a couple of nights, a weekend\u2014where the two of you get away and say, \u201cHow are we doing?\u201d\u00a0 And you pull back, and you refocus.\u00a0 You just spend some time together.\u00a0 That\u2019s what the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> is all about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about these events and about where they are located and how you can be a part of one of these upcoming getaways for couples.\u00a0 There\u2019s also information on our website about Heidi St. John\u2019s book, <em>The Busy Homeschool Mom\u2019s Guide to Romance: Nurturing Your Marriage Through the Homeschool Years.<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can order a copy of Heidi\u2019s book from us online, or you can call to order.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Ask about the book <em>The Homeschool Mom\u2019s Guide to Romance<\/em> when you get in touch with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur mission here at FamilyLife is to effectively develop godly families, families that change the world one home at a time.\u00a0 We want to see every home become a godly home.\u00a0 This radio program, our website, all that we do here, the events that we host, all of these have that same goal in mind: To see marriages and families strengthened, built on the foundation of God\u2019s Word, rooted in the Gospel.\u00a0 That\u2019s what drives us.\u00a0 That\u2019s what our passion is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of you share that passion.\u00a0 We know that because you not only listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> regularly, but you support the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate that financial support.\u00a0 In fact, this program couldn\u2019t exist if folks like you didn\u2019t get in touch with us from time to time and say, \u201cI want to pitch in and be a part of what God is doing through this ministry.\u201d\u00a0 So, thanks to those of you who have done that in the past.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>This week, if you can help with a donation of any amount, we\u2019d like to send you a two-CD set of a conversation we had with author Shaunti Feldhahn about how men think.\u00a0 She did a research project where she interviewed hundreds of men and asked them about their hopes, their dreams, their fears, their desires, and found out some pretty interesting things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you\u2019d like to understand your husband better, ask for these CDs with Shaunti Feldhahn when you make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Go there and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d and we\u2019ll send you the CDs; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone and ask for the CDs called <em>For Women Only<\/em> when you get in touch with us.\u00a0 We appreciate your support of this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we are going to talk about where Heidi St. John got her picture of what committed, lasting love looks like and how important your legacy might be for generations to come.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can tune in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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