{"id":302619,"date":"2012-10-23T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-10-23T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/grace-extends-forgiveness-to-others\/"},"modified":"2012-10-23T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-10-23T15:00:00","slug":"grace-extends-forgiveness-to-others","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/grace-extends-forgiveness-to-others\/","title":{"rendered":"Grace Extends Forgiveness to Others"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who in your life needs your forgiveness?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-23.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"21.33M","filesize_raw":"22366476","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[2699,4634],"podcast_series":[7907],"cwp_profile":[3362],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302619","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-forgiveness","tag-grace","podcast_series-grace-more-than-we-deserve","cwp_profile-max-lucado","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302619\/grace-extends-forgiveness-to-others","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302619\/grace-extends-forgiveness-to-others","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"nGQ1w1PwCs\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/grace-extends-forgiveness-to-others\/\">Grace Extends Forgiveness to Others<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/grace-extends-forgiveness-to-others\/embed\/#?secret=nGQ1w1PwCs\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Grace Extends Forgiveness to Others&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"nGQ1w1PwCs\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Who in your life needs your forgiveness?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-23.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re familiar with the Golden Rule; right?\u00a0 \u201cDo unto others as you would have them do unto you.\u201d\u00a0 Max Lucado says, \u201cIt\u2019s only because of what Jesus has already done for us that we can do any good to others.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 The night before His crucifixion, He took the dirtiest part of their lives in His hands; and He washed their feet.\u00a0 Then, His instruction to them was, \u201cNow, you go and do likewise.\u201d\u00a0 So, we let God forgive us.\u00a0 Then, He says, \u201cNow, just as I have forgiven you\u2014just as I have washed your feet\u2014turn to your spouse, to your children, to your co-worker and forgive them\u2014wash their feet, as well.\u201d\u00a0 This is why I call grace, \u201cGod\u2019s best idea.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTake God out of the picture and say, \u201cNow, go forgive your neighbor.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to forgive that jerk!\u00a0 Look at what he did to me!\u00a0 There\u2019s no reason.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to\u2014I may share the same street with him, but I\u2019m not going to like it.\u201d\u00a0 You know, that\u2019s just kind of that attitude.\u00a0 But put God back in the picture\u2014and help a person see that God became a human being, and lived on the earth and, then, died a sinner\u2019s death because we, as sinners, need a Savior.\u00a0 Well, that changes everything.\u00a0 You know what that gives me?\u00a0 That gives me a wellspring, from which I can drink\u2014a wellspring of grace.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, October 23<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 If you have been a recipient of God\u2019s grace, are you also a dispenser of God\u2019s grace?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today with Max Lucado.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Whenever I think about the subject of grace, first thing that comes to mind, for me, is always frozen turkeys.\u00a0 That\u2019s just the first thing that pops into my head.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, me, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was thinking that same thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, it hasn\u2019t been the case always\u2014just since I read Max Lucado\u2019s latest book.\u00a0 It\u2019s got a trigger in it.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Max, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great privilege to be with you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Max is, of course, a best-seller author, a pastor in San Antonio, enjoys all that great Mexican food that Bob\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s the best.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014he had to give it up to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Still cheering for the Spurs; aren\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, give it up right here\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re hanging in\u2014they\u2019re\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014a little fist bump on me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Max has never heard this story.\u00a0 You have, Bob.\u00a0 You and I spoke somewhere in San Antonio\u2014at some big gathering.\u00a0 I spoke first because, I think, if they had put you first, they would have left.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, just let me finish the story.\u00a0 I had just finished a book called <em>The Tribute<\/em>.\u00a0 It was about honoring your parents.\u00a0 When you write a book that is about something that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that nobody wants to do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that nobody wants to do\u2014and then Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for putting their hand over their wallet and saying, \u201cDedicated to God, but\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cI can\u2019t help my parents,\u201d it\u2019s a big-time heart issue.\u00a0 Well, I spoke about honoring your parents\u2014I forget, I\u2019m sorry, Max.\u00a0 It was riveting\u2014what you said\u2014but I can\u2019t remember.\u00a0 This was like maybe 20\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember you going and speaking.\u00a0 I was here because I remember you going there for it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, it was within the last 20 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was an autograph session afterwards, Max.\u00a0 Bob, now, is remembering where I\u2019m going with this.\u00a0 They said where I was going to be and where you were going to be.\u00a0 The line for your books\u2014we were upstairs, on kind of a breezeway area.\u00a0 Your line went all the way down, two stories\u2014out, into the parking lot.\u00a0 Max, I had five people.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 This is a true story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was hearing crickets.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh my goodness!\u00a0 I go, \u201cYou know?\u00a0 Max was not that good!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \u201cI was not that bad!\u201d\u00a0 It was really good for my\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a lot of relatives.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a lot of relatives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 They all came out.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, well, you\u2019ve got over 80 million relatives who bought your books.\u00a0 You\u2019re a popular author of a number of books.\u00a0 The latest is called <em>Grace: More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack to the frozen turkey\u2014what does a frozen turkey have to do with grace?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I came across this story.\u00a0 It\u2019s a riveting story of a lady named Victoria Ruvolo, who just was innocently driving home after work one day in Long Island\u2014one November evening.\u00a0 She never saw the Nissan coming\u2014never noticed the car coming, in her direction, in the other lane.\u00a0 She sure never saw that teenager, leaning out of the window with a frozen turkey\u2014of all things\u2014with the absolute intent of throwing it into the windshield of a car, in the oncoming traffic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was just a prank that he was\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just a prank; just a prank.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A 20- to 25-pound\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, she was that car.\u00a0 She was in the wrong place at the wrong time.\u00a0 He leaned out and threw it.\u00a0 The turkey crashed through her windshield\u2014 crashed into her steering wheel.\u00a0 Steering wheel hit her face.\u00a0 Her jaw crashed like china on concrete.\u00a0 I mean, it just\u2014her whole face shattered.\u00a0 The end result\u2014she ended up in ICU, had to have her eyes reaffixed with synthetic film, had to have her jaw completely rewired, spent\u2014I can\u2019t remember\u2014several months, as you can imagine, in some form of rehab.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, the reason I include the story in the book, though, is because that kid\u2014he became the poster child for, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with the world.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 They caught him.\u00a0 They scheduled his sentencing\u2014his court date.\u00a0 The court was full of people who were just angry.\u00a0 They were ready to take it out, not just on him, but the whole generation; you know?\u00a0 Well, imagine the surprise when the judge just sentenced him to a few months of parole and some public service.\u00a0\u00a0 They just erupted in anger.\u00a0 What they didn\u2019t know is that the reduced sentence was the idea of Victoria Ruvolo, who is a follower of Christ.\u00a0 She, in the courtroom, walked over to the boy and said, \u201cI want you to start your life over.\u201d\u00a0 She didn\u2019t want to hold it over him.\u00a0 She forgave him\u2014just publicly\u2014forgave him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember reading that story thinking, \u201cHow hard that must have been.\u201d\u00a0 How do you forgive somebody?\u00a0 You know, we haven\u2019t been hit by a turkey; but some of us have been raised by one, or married one, or worked for one.\u00a0 Yet, how do you find it within you to forgive somebody like that and give them a second chance?\u00a0 What does it mean for you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That kind of forgiveness is connected to the subject of your book, which is all about grace, because, in order to be able to forgive, we have to first receive\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014we can\u2019t pass on what we haven\u2019t received first; can we?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that\u2019s a fundamental principle.\u00a0 That is\u2014you can\u2019t give a grace you\u2019ve never received.\u00a0 So, when a person finds it difficult to forgive, what do they do?\u00a0 Well, I think they consider how much they have been forgiven.\u00a0 This is just a basic, fundamental truth.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe chapter\u2014if I remember correctly, in the book\u2014that\u2019s where we talk about Jesus washing the feet of the disciples\u2014how, the night before His crucifixion, He took the dirtiest part of their lives in His hands; and He washed their feet.\u00a0 Then, His instruction to them was, \u201cNow, you go and do likewise.\u201d\u00a0 So, we let God forgive us.\u00a0 Then, He says, \u201cNow, just as I have forgiven you\u2014just as I have washed your feet\u2014turn to your co-worker, to your spouse, to your children\u2014go and forgive them\u2014wash their feet, as well.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want our listeners, right now, to think about a person who has dirty feet.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about someone that is difficult to love, someone that you are tempted to resent, someone, over your lifetime, who, perhaps, has really wounded you or hurt you.\u00a0 Now, you\u2019ve got that person in mind?\u00a0 Everybody has got that person\u2014had somebody who has done you wrong and has hurt you profoundly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMax, you are saying that the same forgiveness we\u2019ve received from the Savior\u2014we are to, in turn, give to that other person.\u00a0 The One who stepped out of eternity\u2014and gave up the right to punish us by dying on a cross for our sins, Who rose again from the grave on the third day\u2014calls us to do the same forgiving that He first sought to do, in our lives, through that work on the cross.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you\u2019re saying; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 Just as God, in Christ, has forgiven you\u2014so you must forgive others.\u00a0 That\u2019s the challenge of Scripture, right there.\u00a0 Just as God, through Christ, has forgiven us\u2014so we, then, in turn, forgive others.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, but here\u2019s the challenge with that; and you know this.\u00a0 There\u2019s a vulnerability that comes with forgiving another person.\u00a0 I mean, if somebody has hurt us and we release them from any consequence, then, they might just go, \u201cWell, that was easy.\u00a0 I can do that again.\u201d\u00a0 You understand why people want to hang on to bitterness as a protective\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014device.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 And because we\u2019re afraid that, in forgiving them, we are, inadvertently, endorsing them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a good point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or saying what they did either did not hurt or was not bad.\u00a0 That\u2019s not what we\u2019re saying, at all.\u00a0 What it seems, to me, is that the Bible is so serious about forgiving others for two reasons.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one, resentment kills us.\u00a0 It just eats us up.\u00a0 Resentment chews us up from the inside out.\u00a0 It is an addiction.\u00a0 People find it hard to forgive because the emotion of hatred is emotion that fuels an adrenaline rush within us.\u00a0 We find ourselves enjoying that fury\u2014that hatred, that prejudice, that bigotry.\u00a0 It begins to define us.\u00a0 Then, it consumes us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, there is a second reason that I think the Bible calls us to forgive.\u00a0 That is because we do not know how to distribute vengeance.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know.\u00a0 We either give more than that person deserves or less than that person deserves.\u00a0 Here is what the Bible says.\u00a0 God says, \u201cVengeance is Mine.\u00a0 I will repay.\u201d\u00a0 I think that\u2019s a profound passage.\u00a0 It tells us that vengeance is not yours, and it\u2019s not Max\u2019s.\u00a0 The vengeance is God\u2019s.\u00a0 Then, look what it says:\u00a0 \u201cI will repay.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI will repay.\u201d\u00a0 That person who molested you\u2014they\u2019ll get it.\u00a0 That person who abandoned you\u2014they\u2019re going to pay for it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSee, God is not endorsing what they did.\u00a0 He\u2019s saying, \u201cYou leave it up to Me.\u00a0 I will make sure they receive the right amount of consequences for their misbehavior.\u00a0 Nobody is going to get out of this.\u00a0 We receive consequences now, and we will receive consequences on the Day of Judgment.\u00a0 But God is saying He is a just God.\u00a0 So, you can forget the fact that that person is going to slip off into the Bahamas and sip Mai Tais for the rest of their life; and go unpunished.\u00a0 They\u2019ll get punished.\u00a0 They\u2019ll get exactly the appropriate amount of punishment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, does that mean\u2014as somebody might think, as they are listening\u2014that, \u201cI\u2019m in trouble when I head into eternity because vengeance belongs to God, and I\u2019m going to get paid for what I did?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, if you are outside of Christ, it does.\u00a0 If you are outside of Christ, God is a just God.\u00a0 He must punish sin, or He is not a just God.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t just pretend that we\u2019ve never sinned.\u00a0 He has to punish sin\u2014so, He punishes the sin of the sinner.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, if I give my heart to Christ, Christ took my punishment for me.\u00a0 So, my sin has already been punished.\u00a0 If you are a listener, and you know that what you\u2019ve done is wrong, and you\u2019ve given your heart to Christ, you can celebrate the grace of God because Jesus received that vengeance or that punishment for you.\u00a0 He justified you.\u00a0 He took your place so that you don\u2019t have to.\u00a0 But listen\u2014if you are outside of Christ, and you\u2019re living life without God, and you\u2019re just trying to work it out on your own\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a frightening place to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max: <\/strong>\u00a0\u2014you need to be afraid.\u00a0 You need to be afraid because you will receive the just retribution for your sin.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That person needs to come to faith in Christ before the sun goes down.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, immediately\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because the wrath of God is a serious matter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m just curious, Max; and you may choose not to answer this.\u00a0 What about you?\u00a0 Has there ever been a person in your life that put this principle of grace\u2014forgiving one another, just as God, in Christ, has forgiven you\u2014has there ever been a person who put that to the test in your life?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, there has.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Could you share that story with us?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can.\u00a0 My mother and I did not get along.\u00a0 My mother and I did not\u2014my father and I were just alike\u2014but my mother and I had two different philosophies of life.\u00a0 Boy, did we butt heads.\u00a0 I look back and I still think, \u201cWhy did she punish me for doing that?\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t she encourage me more?\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve had to work it through.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2014her philosophy of life was to just kind of leave everybody else alone.\u00a0 You don\u2019t bother anybody.\u00a0 Nobody bothers you and just leave everybody else alone.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what I learned about my mother, though.\u00a0 I became a Christian when I was 20 years of age.\u00a0 I began realizing, \u201cI\u2019m supposed to forgive my mom, even though she and I have never gotten along.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was there a moment where you offered that forgiveness to her; or was it just a transaction between you and God, where you said, \u201cOkay, God, I\u2019ll give up the right to punish her.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 I gave up the right to be angry.\u00a0 I never went to my mom and said, \u201cMom, you were not a good mom.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to forgive you for not being a good mom,\u201d for two reasons.<strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one, she was a good mom, in the sense, that she provided for me and she loved me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and she did care for me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I never felt like I needed to do that.\u00a0 What helped me, though\u2014and your book, <em>The Tribute<\/em>, was part of this, Dennis.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever told you that\u2014honoring your parents and recognizing them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat helped me was understanding her childhood.\u00a0 She grew up in a cotton field that her dad leased.\u00a0 I mean\u2014dirt farmers.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t own it.\u00a0 He\u2019d lease the dirt to raise the cotton.\u00a0 Then, he died when she was ten.\u00a0 Her mother remarried a man who didn\u2019t really love her.\u00a0 It\u2019s just more than I ought to go into right now; but it was a tough, tough upbringing\u2014poor, difficult, challenging, right in the middle of the Depression.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When I began to understand her upbringing, I said, \u201cWell, no wonder!\u00a0 No wonder she is so\u201d\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014\u201cresistant and kind of hard toward people.\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s been hurt!\u00a0 She grew up in a hard, hard situation.\u00a0 Understanding what she went through, I thought, \u201cIf I\u2019d grown up in that, I wouldn\u2019t have been the quality of woman that she is.\u201d\u00a0 That really helped me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI guess, I say that to say this, \u201cSometimes, we have to understand where a person has come from.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 That helps us on the path of forgiveness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 After we\u2019re done here today, if you\u2019d like to get your copy of <em>The Tribute<\/em> autographed, Dennis is going to have a little table\u2014and you can line up\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019ll mean that six stood in line.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 We\u2019re laughing about it; but in the book\u2014I talk about how we give gifts to our parents, all the time\u2014I talk about three gifts to give your parents.\u00a0 You just outlined them.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one:\u00a0 the gift of understanding\u2014understanding where they came from, what makes up their lives, who they are, all that came about\u2014maybe some evil in their lives that damaged them.\u00a0 Secondly, the gift of compassion\u2014Christ called us to be compassionate, to be a fellow-feeler\u2014to bear their burdens with them.\u00a0 Then, third, that moves us, I think, to what you did, which is the gift of forgiveness.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Again, what makes that forgiveness possible\u2014and you\u2019ve made a point of this in your book\u2014is that you\u2019ve been forgiven\u2014forgiving one another, just as God, in Christ, has forgiven you.\u00a0 Forgiveness is not optional\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in the Christian life.\u00a0 It\u2019s a part of the fiber of the Christian life, whether you\u2019re in a relationship in marriage, a family relationship\u2014maybe an extended family relationship\u2014forgiveness has got to be practiced.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a command; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 The same God who said, \u201cLove your neighbor,\u201d the same God who said, \u201cLove your parents,\u201d is the God who says, \u201cForgive your enemies.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not an option.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I appreciate the fact that, in the book, as you talk about forgiveness, you also talk about the need for confession.\u00a0 There\u2019s a grace there, too.\u00a0 In fact, you tell a story about a person who had headaches.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Okay, I might have to test myself on the memory of his name.\u00a0 I think, it\u2019s Lee Foo Yon.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is that right?\u00a0 I just found this story in a magazine.\u00a0 I thought it was just the most unbelievable story.\u00a0 It\u2019s a fellow who lived with a knife blade in his head.\u00a0 He\u2019s from China.\u00a0 In an attack\u2014he was assaulted.\u00a0 Somehow\u2014I just find this hard to believe\u2014but somehow, a knife blade went up through his jaw, into his head, and stayed there for\u2014is it several years?\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 Undetected.\u00a0 He\u2014of course, he had these migraines.\u00a0 He had headaches.\u00a0 They couldn\u2019t figure out what was wrong.\u00a0 Somehow, a knife blade had gotten broken off inside his head.\u00a0 That\u2019s just one of those bizarre stories.\u00a0 Actually, I got online; and I realized there are a lot of stories like that of people who have swallowed pennies and have foreign objects in their bodies.\u00a0 The point is we are not made to live with those objects in our bodies.\u00a0 We\u2019re not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe same is true with our soul.\u00a0 We are not made to live with anger.\u00a0 We\u2019re not made to live with guilt.\u00a0 The longer we live with those emotions inside us, the more festered and problematic our lives are going to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, tie all of this\u2014both forgiveness and confession\u2014tie it back to the big theme of grace, which is the theme of your book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Max:<\/strong>\u00a0 It makes it possible.\u00a0 This is why I call grace, \u201cGod\u2019s best idea.\u201d\u00a0 Take God out of the picture, like many people do.\u00a0 Take God out of the picture and say, \u201cNow, go and forgive your neighbor.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to go forgive that jerk!\u00a0 Look what he did to me!\u00a0 There\u2019s no reason.\u00a0 I may share the same street with him, but I\u2019m not going to like him.\u201d\u00a0 You know, it\u2019s just kind of that attitude; but put God back in the picture.\u00a0 Help a person see that God became a human being, and lived on the earth, and, then, died a sinner\u2019s death because we, as sinners, need a Savior.\u00a0 Well, that changes everything.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know what that gives me?\u00a0 That gives me a wellspring from which I can drink\u2014a wellspring of grace.\u00a0 Without Jesus, without God, I don\u2019t have that wellspring.\u00a0 I have to conjure up forgiveness inside of me, and there\u2019s not much there; but if I have a wellspring and I can go and say, \u201cLord, thank You that You have forgiven me\u201d\u2014and by the way, the more we know God, the more we understand how much He forgives us.\u00a0 Then, I have a soft heart.\u00a0 I have a soft heart because I\u2019ve been forgiven!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I\u2019ve always thought it was interesting that Jesus said the reason that Moses permitted divorce is because, \u201cYour hearts are hard.\u201d\u00a0 We get these hard hearts.\u00a0 They\u2019re so hard we can\u2019t live with each other\u2014the hardness of the heart.\u00a0 Grace softens the heart.\u00a0 Where grace softens the heart, there\u2019s reconciliation, forgiveness, and a future\u2014a future is possible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, back to the beginning there, Bob, we forgive because we\u2019ve been forgiven\u2014nothing more.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And just as you were talking, I was kind of reflecting back upon some of the culture battles that are taking place in our country right now, where Christians can be seen\u2014pointing their fingers, holding placards, pointing bony fingers, yelling, and screaming at certain groups of people because they\u2019ve chosen a different lifestyle.\u00a0 I keep going back to John, Chapter 1, where it says, \u201cThe Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory full\u201d\u2014of what?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Max:<\/strong> Grace and truth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cgrace and truth.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m really pretty good at the truth side of things, I\u2019ve determined.\u00a0 I naturally have a justice-bent\u2014to gravitate to the truth.\u00a0 It\u2019s that grace-side of Jesus that troubles me the most, Max, because He calls me to get off my high horse and to realize, \u201cI\u2019m broken, I need a Savior, I need Him to love other people through me.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, in the last decade of my life, this has been the area of greatest growth in me.\u00a0 Talk about the heart transplant, that we talked about earlier, of seeing the life of Christ being produced within you\u2014thinking of how you can love people rather than judge them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRight now, I turn back to the listener and I say, \u201cYou\u2019ve got that person, still in mind, that you have a hard time loving\u2014maybe that you resent, maybe even hate.\u00a0 Maybe, it\u2019s time.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m not kidding.\u00a0 Maybe, it\u2019s time you give it up because Christ gave it up for you\u2014and you forgive them.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 On our website, at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014we\u2019ve got articles, resources\u2014talking about forgiveness, anger, bitterness.\u00a0 We want to provide some coaching, some biblical- thinking on this subject.\u00a0 If you find yourself in a spot where it is hard to let go, we\u2019d encourage you to get a copy of Max Lucado\u2019s book, <em>Grace<\/em>, as well.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got that in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order a copy of the book from us, online.\u00a0 The book is called <em>Grace: More Than We Deserve, Greater Than We Imagine<\/em> by Max Lucado.\u00a0 Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also order a copy of the book when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe trust that programs like this are helpful as you seek to honor God in your relationships with your husband or your wife, with your children, with extended family members.\u00a0 Our mission, here, at FamilyLife, is to see every home become a godly home and to see God\u2019s Word permeate people\u2019s hearts so that, as we live together in relationship, we are reflecting what God has done for us and how we relate to one another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who help make this program possible.\u00a0 We\u2019re listener- supported.\u00a0 Donations to the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> help cover the production and syndication costs of this daily radio program.\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for those of you who, from time to time, will get in touch with us and say, \u201cGod\u2019s been using this program in my life, and I want to help support your work.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>This month, if you can help with a donation, we\u2019d like to offer you a thank-you gift\u2014a two-CD set\u2014a conversation we had with Shaunti Feldhahn, author of the book, <em>For Women Only<\/em>.\u00a0 We talked to her about what she had learned as she interviewed hundreds of men and asked them, \u201cWhat\u2019s most important to you about how your wife relates to you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>That CD conversation is our thank-you gift when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 If you do that, be sure to ask for the CD set with Shaunti Feldhahn or the CD set, <em>For Women Only<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s our way of saying, \u201cThanks for your partnership with us.\u201d\u00a0 We do appreciate you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you can be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Max Lucado will be here.\u00a0 We\u2019ll continue talking about God\u2019s grace.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer\u2014Keith Lynch\u2014and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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