{"id":302612,"date":"2012-10-11T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-10-11T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/understanding-the-four-ps\/"},"modified":"2012-10-11T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-10-11T15:00:00","slug":"understanding-the-four-ps","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-the-four-ps\/","title":{"rendered":"Understanding the Four P&#8217;s"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is the young man pursuing your daughter worthy of her?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-11.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.04M","filesize_raw":"26256211","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817],"tags":[4350,4955],"podcast_series":[7666],"cwp_profile":[8805],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302612","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","tag-character","tag-preparing-for-marriage","podcast_series-what-he-must-be","cwp_profile-voddie-baucham","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302612\/understanding-the-four-ps","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302612\/understanding-the-four-ps","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"VuJ91HV0Oa\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-the-four-ps\/\">Understanding the Four P&#8217;s<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/understanding-the-four-ps\/embed\/#?secret=VuJ91HV0Oa\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Understanding the Four P&#8217;s&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"VuJ91HV0Oa\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-11.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-11.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie Baucham:<\/strong>\u00a0 The picture of intimacy there is this picture that begins with the commitment\u2014the leaving and the cleaving\u2014and leads to the one flesh.\u00a0 Unfortunately, in our culture, we\u2019ve got it backwards.\u00a0 We have people who want to become one flesh for a while to see if they are interested in really leaving and cleaving.\u00a0 As a result, they are undermining the intimacy in their marriage because the commitment is not what is there first.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 11<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We are going to talk today about the powerful role we have, as fathers, helping our daughters and our sons be ready for marriage.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 This has been interesting this week.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been talking to the author of a book called <em>Why My Daughter Will Never Get Married<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is <em>not<\/em>\u2014that is <em>not<\/em> the name of the book, Bob.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But may be the net effect of the book; don\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It may be, but the name of the book is: <em>What He Must Be...if He Wants to Marry My Daughter<\/em> by Voddie Baucham.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m honestly tempted to call Voddie\u2019s daughter, Jasmine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think Keith has been able to get Jasmine on the line; but before we introduce Jasmine, we ought to introduce her father.\u00a0 Voddie Baucham joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Voddie, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think we do have Jasmine on the line.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jasmine?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hi, Mr. Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How are you doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m doing well; thank you.\u00a0 How are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m doing great.\u00a0 We are calling you to verify the veracity of the story of this gentleman we have here in the studio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s telling us, Jasmine, that this book, <em>What He Must Be...if He Wants to Marry My Daughter<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was ghost-written by you.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not quite.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He says it comes with the Jasmine Baucham seal of approval.\u00a0\u00a0 Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is what you want; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\u00a0 It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, you\u2019ve seen your dad.\u00a0 He\u2019s a big fella; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, some guy comes along\u2014he\u2019s going to have to be pretty stout, just to step up and say, \u201cMr. Baucham, I\u2019d like to talk to you about Jasmine.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure I could do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Does that ever cross your mind\u2014that he\u2019s kind of eliminating some of the pursuiters?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Well, it only takes one.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you still going to give this book the Jasmine Baucham seal of approval when you are 25?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir\u201428, 29, 32.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If the guys haven\u2019t stepped up, you are okay with that at 32?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Why would you give this your seal of approval?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 I just believe that marriage is a serious step, and it\u2019s a blessing from God.\u00a0 When I enter into that state, I want to be fully confident that the man that I\u2019m going to marry is pleasing in the ways of the Lord.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think there may be some guys listening to you right now who are going, \u201cI\u2019d like to talk to you.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I guess we should give them your dad\u2019s cell phone number.\u00a0 Is that right?\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think we send them a picture of Voddie.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what the book should be\u2014a picture of Jasmine on the front that says, \u201cIf you are interested in this\u2014\u201d and then a picture of you that says, \u201c\u2014you have to come through this.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 What do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jasmine, before we let you go here, I have to believe, at points, you have seen the model of what a marriage was designed to look like in Scripture.\u00a0 Can you tell me what you\u2019ve seen in your mom and dad\u2019s relationship and their marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen what\u2019s laid forth in the book.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen my father leading my mother in love, and I\u2019ve seen my mother joyfully submitting to him.\u00a0 My parents aren\u2019t perfect people, but they look to God\u2019s Word for their standards for living.\u00a0 Seeing them gives me confidence to know that the kind of marriage that they have isn\u2019t impossible because I see it lived out every day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tell the truth.\u00a0 You are your dad\u2019s favorite; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Laughingly] I like to think so!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s my girl.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jasmine, you are a good sport to let us interrupt your day, here, and take this phone call.\u00a0\u00a0 Thanks for authenticating your dad\u2019s message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that when they send out future copies of this, it ought to have, at the bottom, \u201cThe Jasmine Baucham seal of approval\u201d right there on the front cover.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Thanks, Jasmine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Love you, baby girl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Love you, Daddy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye.\u00a0 Bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wish we had a picture of your face, right now, for radio because you are beaming.\u00a0 You\u2019re proud.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am.\u00a0 I am.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is nothing quite like putting together a different legacy than the one you were given.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 God, in His grace, has really empowered you and your wife to do something different than the home you grew up in\u2014in Los Angeles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 He really has.\u00a0 It\u2019s God\u2019s grace.\u00a0 It truly is God\u2019s grace.\u00a0 I love my little girl.\u00a0 She\u2019s still my little girl.\u00a0 I am very proud of the woman that she has become.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just wait until a guy starts circling.\u00a0 [Bird sounds]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, he\u2019s got to be a guy who loves Christ.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He has to be a guy who understands how to lead.\u00a0 He\u2019s got to be a guy who understands that marriage is the priority in a family relationship.\u00a0 In fact, out of all relationships, it is the priority.\u00a0 He\u2019s got to be a guy who loves kids and is ready to have kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And then he has to be a guy who understands the four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\u00a0 He\u2019s got to understand his role as priest, prophet, provider, and protector in his home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob really likes those four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d.\u00a0 There\u2019s a reason; right Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because I talk about them in my book, <em>The Christian Husband.<\/em>\u00a0 Is that what you are saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 I think three of the four, at least.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We talk about, \u201cIf Jesus was Prophet, Priest and King, then a husband needs to understand, if he\u2019s going to be Christ to his wife, he needs to fulfill those roles\u2014not in an abusive way or authoritarian way.\u201d\u00a0 You talk about a husband being the priest of the home\u2014he has to understand that he is a spiritual leader for his wife, for his kids.\u00a0 That\u2019s a responsibility God has given him; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely it is.\u00a0 I love this quote from George Whitfield, and I used it as a header in this chapter.\u00a0 \u201cEvery governor of a family ought to look upon himself as obliged to act in three capacities\u2014as a prophet to instruct, as a priest to pray for and with, and as a king to govern, direct, and provide for them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what is interesting\u2014an interesting side note.\u00a0 When he says \u201cking\u201d there, I thought\u2014because the feminists hate me\u2014I thought, \u201cYou know, that term, \u2018king,\u2019 \u2014that\u2019s just going to incite them unduly,\u201d which\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t bother you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014doesn\u2019t bother me at all.\u00a0 In all honesty, I thought that may not translate very well in our culture\u2014so, taking king\u2014and I put provider and protector there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because that is what a king is supposed to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that is what a king is supposed to do\u2014to kind of help people grab onto these things and understand what we are talking about.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think people have enough residue of a biblical worldview to even understand how and why that\u2019s appropriate because of what feminism has done to our culture.\u00a0 They feel like it\u2019s demeaning to women to believe that a man is obliged, as Whitfield would say, to play those roles in the context of a marriage relationship; but that comes right out of Ephesians 5. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the question, \u201cIs it demeaning to us, as followers of Christ, for Jesus to be our Prophet, our Priest, our Provider, our Protector?\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel demeaned by that.\u00a0 In fact, I feel <em>treasured<\/em> by that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Valued by that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about those four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d for a second.\u00a0 Protector\u2014in this culture, it\u2019s really interesting to even hold the door open for a woman, as a man.\u00a0 I mean, I have women look at me like, \u201cWhy are you doing that?\u201d or, \u201cWhat\u2019s up with you<em>?<\/em>\u201d\u00a0 Ultimately, it\u2019s a man saying to a woman, \u201cMy life for your life.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI want to serve you and esteem you,\u201d as Bob was talking about, \u201cand value you by holding the door open for you.\u201d\u00a0 Yet, protecting goes way beyond just the common courtesies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, it goes way beyond that.\u00a0 In our church, we have rites of passage for young men.\u00a0 We talk about these four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d all the time.\u00a0 Sometimes men will have their sons, at 12 or 13, to do things that symbolically represent these four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d.\u00a0 For some of them, they talk about a protector.\u00a0 They\u2019ll have their son take a self-defense class.\u00a0 Some of them will take them down to qualify them at the gun range, like me.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is something to just symbolize this idea that you are called to protect your family.\u00a0 You are called to lay it all down, if necessary, for your family.\u00a0 You are called to position yourself between your family and all harm that would come to them\u2014physically, emotionally, and spiritually.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard a great story about this very thing\u2014an essay written by a mom whose daughter had gone to work at a pizza delivery place.\u00a0\u00a0 She was out delivering pizzas in her car.\u00a0 The call came in for an order for a pizza.\u00a0 There was a guy, at the pizza place who took that order, looked at the address and said, \u201cNo, you aren\u2019t taking this one.\u00a0 I\u2019m taking this one.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not because it was a big tipper.\u00a0 It was because, in that part of town, a single woman shouldn\u2019t be delivering pizzas.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe mom said, \u201cThat\u2019s what you want a man to do.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think that man should have let my daughter go down there.\u00a0 That man\u2014you know, we need equal rights for men and women.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 No.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI was glad that there was somebody, man enough, to step up and say \u2018No, I\u2019ll deliver that pizza to that part of town.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the same kind of principle.\u00a0 My question is, \u201cHow do you recognize, in a 20-year-old, whose voice hasn\u2019t changed that long ago; you know?\u00a0 How do you recognize if he is protector enough to marry your daughter?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about something in all of these different broadcasts.\u00a0 We\u2019ve sort of joked around the idea of my size\u2014of being an intimidating character.\u00a0 In a very real sense, if he\u2019s not man enough to stand up to me for her, he\u2019s not going to be a protector.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are a pretty intimidating guy.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right, but I\u2019m not as intimidating as a noise downstairs when you think somebody is breaking into the house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what does standing up to you going to look like?\u00a0 You don\u2019t want him to challenge you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 First of all, it just means he\u2019s going to move toward meeting with Voddie.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s going to put his hand out and have a firm handshake and look you in the eye.\u00a0 Even though his gut may be twisted into a knot\u2014he isn\u2019t going to tell you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s going to say, \u201cDr. Baucham, nice to meet you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right; he is.\u00a0 There\u2019s going to be a sense in which he is willing to face what he must, for the sake of my daughter.\u00a0 He proves that to me when he first makes his intentions known.\u00a0 Now, if he sneaks around me like a coward, then I probably know he\u2019s not going to protect my daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about protector.\u00a0 Let\u2019s move to a different \u201cP\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 The one I\u2019m interested in is this one about a husband being a prophet.\u00a0\u00a0 You think about a prophet as somebody who is kind of fiery\u2014lets you have it\u2014blasts at you.\u00a0 Somebody who speaks prophetically is somebody who stands up and gets in your face.\u00a0 Is that what you are saying this man needs to be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I think Whitfield says it best when he says a \u201cprophet to instruct\u201d.\u00a0 That\u2019s the role of a prophet\u2014to instruct\u2014to warn, if necessary.\u00a0 Again, this goes back to his responsibility in Ephesians, Chapter 5, to wash his wife with the water of the Word.\u00a0 Also, this man will ultimately have the responsibility to bring his children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe has a prophetic responsibility to instruct his family in the Word, which also goes back to what we\u2019ve talked about in previous broadcasts about this whole idea of unequally-yoked.\u00a0\u00a0 This is what I tell young women.\u00a0 If you are willing to pursue a marriage with an unbeliever, not only are you directly disobeying God, but you\u2019re also saying that it\u2019s not important that this man be able to wash me with the Word or instruct my children in the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Another part of being a prophet, as well, is he takes the relationship and the young lady before God in prayer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That means there does need to be some kind of spiritual dimension to the relationship.\u00a0\u00a0 There are a lot of singles today who just date and have fun, and they don\u2019t want to talk about commitment.\u00a0 They don\u2019t want to talk about getting close to each other; and they, for sure, don\u2019t want to talk about spiritual matters.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that a young man, who is this kind of a leader, needs to be a prophet.\u00a0\u00a0 He needs to represent the young lady before God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Actually, I put that one in the priest category\u2014the priest representing her before God\u2014the prophet representing God before her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is very much that same division\u2014that he has to be an individual who is an intercessor\u2014who prays for his family\u2014who goes before the throne of God on behalf of this one whom he loves and to whom and for whom he\u2019s giving his life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As I\u2019ve been raising my sons now, one of the things I\u2019ve warned them about is as you start to cultivate a relationship with a young woman, it can be premature to pray with her too soon because there is something very intimate about praying together as a couple, especially in the heart of a young woman.\u00a0 I know, as a husband, when I take my wife by the hand and I say, \u201cSweetheart, let\u2019s pray,\u201d there is a sense of comfort, safety, security.\u00a0 She\u2019s drawn to me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Definitely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If a young man came up to Jasmine and said, \u201cLet\u2019s pray about that,\u201d \u2014just as an innocent, kind of a godly big-spiritual-brother kind of a thing, there would be something that would go off in her heart; wouldn\u2019t there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely; absolutely.\u00a0 I would say that that goes back to the issue of protector.\u00a0 A young man needs to know that that\u2019s one of the areas where he must protect this young woman.\u00a0 He has got to protect her from premature attachment and devotion to him.\u00a0\u00a0 That is one of the things that is sometimes hard for a young guy to get.\u00a0 That is something that we have to teach our sons.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I\u2019ve said, part of this is about what we teach our sons.\u00a0 We have to come around our sons, when they are reaching the teen years and girls are starting to be interested in them, and we have to say things that really sound counterintuitive.\u00a0 \u201cSon, that girl is interested in you.\u00a0 You need to stay away from her\u2014okay? \u2014 because you can\u2019t satisfy the desires that she has and you don\u2019t need to, as Solomon would say in the Song of Solomon, \u2018Awaken love before it pleases.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201c\u2019Don\u2019t arouse it before it pleases.\u2019 So no, don\u2019t go trying to pray with her.\u00a0 Don\u2019t go doing that.\u00a0 Don\u2019t be mean to her, but protect her heart.\u00a0 Do not encourage her to deepen the affections that she has for you.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s part of what we do to teach our sons to protect young women spiritually and emotionally.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie, you have a son who is 16.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You got married when you were 20.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If he, at age 20, is coming and saying, \u201cDad, I\u2019ve noticed this young woman.\u00a0 I want to begin to pursue her.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not so much, \u201cIs he old enough, chronologically?\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s really, \u201cIs he old enough, in terms of the maturity?\u201d\u2014things we\u2019ve been talking about this week.\u00a0 For you to sign off, he could maybe be there at 20; couldn\u2019t he? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 He better be there at 20.\u00a0 If he\u2019s not ready to be married by the time he is 20, I haven\u2019t paid enough attention to my job of preparing him.\u00a0 This idea\u2014you know, that we prepare our sons\u2014here\u2019s the idea that we give our sons, \u201cSon, I want you to go and suck all the joy out of life.\u00a0 Then, after you\u2019ve sucked all the joy out of life, and you are in your late 20s or early 30s, I want you to look longingly into a woman\u2019s eyes and say, \u201cThere is no more joy to be found.\u00a0 I\u2019m ready to marry you and die.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 That\u2019s the attitude that we\u2019re giving our sons, man.\u00a0 No!\u00a0 The Bible talks about the wife of your youth.\u00a0 Now, am I saying, \u201cTwenty years old, you have to get married\u201d?\u00a0 No, that\u2019s not what I am saying; but I am saying that by the time you get there, I want to have done everything I can to prepare you to be married by that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So 18, 19 even, would be okay, if he is ready.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, if he\u2019s ready.\u00a0 Yes, if he\u2019s ready. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And to that single woman who is listening to our broadcast and is going, \u201cI\u2019m out of the home. I\u2019m in my 20s.\u00a0 My daddy is not connected.\u00a0 I\u2019m looking on the horizon at my church, among those I work with.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see any men like you are talking about.\u201d\u00a0 Just a piece of advice, as a father, to those single women\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, when women find themselves outside of that cover, recognize that God has given you alternatives.\u00a0 He\u2019s given you your church, your elders, people who are biblically-qualified and responsible to look out for you.\u00a0 We have a plan, in place, at our church.\u00a0 Our elders have a plan, in place, so that if a single young woman finds herself in a situation where there is no father to step in, we would function for her in the absence of that father and walk her through this courtship process.\u00a0 I think young women need to be in a situation where that is the case.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie, I appreciate you being a straight-shooter.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 I really appreciate your courage to have been given the heritage you were given of coming out of an unmarried situation and so surrounded by divorce.\u00a0 What did you say\u201420?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Twenty-two out of 25\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Twenty-two out of 25 marriages in your family have experienced a divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in the last two generations.\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re breaking a generational curse, as the Bible speaks about.\u00a0 You are doing something that has been a verse that has been resonating in my soul for the past couple of years.\u00a0 \u201cDo not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What you are doing is\u2014you are overcoming evil with good, in your own marriage and family, by building your sons and looking out for your daughter.\u00a0 You\u2019re also\u2014through a book like this, and through your church, and your preaching and teaching\u2014you are helping to call the Christian community to be truly Christ-followers and men to step up.\u00a0 I want to thank you for being on our program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bless you.\u00a0 It has been a joy.\u00a0 I am so grateful for the opportunity you guys have extended to me and for just the trust that you have placed in me with this.\u00a0 This radio program means so much to so many people.\u00a0 You guys have been wonderful stewards of the platform that God has given you, and I\u2019m honored that you have trusted me with this time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We appreciate you being here and look forward to being with you in February\u2014when Voddie is going to be joining us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><em><sup>\u2122 <\/sup><\/em>marriage cruise, along with his wife Bridget.\u00a0 We look forward to that.\u00a0 If folks are interested in being a part of the cruise, we still have a few cabins left.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how you can join Dennis and Barbara, and Mary Ann and me, and Voddie and his wife, and others on the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise, Valentine\u2019s week of 2013.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, Voddie is also a part of a special event that we have coming up in February called the Stepping Up<em><sup>\u2122 <\/sup><\/em>Super Saturday event.\u00a0 This is a one-day video-based event that is going to be hosted in hundreds, maybe even a thousand or more, locations all across the country on 2-2-13; February 2<sup>nd<\/sup>, 2013.\u00a0 That\u2019s Super Saturday, the day before the Super Bowl.\u00a0 The Stepping Up Super Saturday event\u2014it\u2019s a rally day for men to hear from Dennis Rainey, and Voddie Baucham, and Matt Chandler, and Robert Lewis, and Tony Dungy, and Mark Driscoll, and Bill Bennett, and others.\u00a0 Again, it can be hosted in your church.\u00a0 In fact, you can host it.\u00a0 A guy who says, \u201cI\u2019d like to see this happen at our church,\u201d \u2014go to your pastor, go to your leadership and say, \u201cHey, could I host this?\u201d or, \u201cCould we get a group of guys together\u2014rally the men in our church to come out and be a part of the Stepping Up Super Saturday event?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo-2-13 is the date. If you\u2019ll get in touch with us this month, and let us know that you\u2019re ready to go\u2014you\u2019d like to be one of the host locations for this event\u2014you contact us before the end of the month and give us the location where you\u2019re going to be hosting the event, we\u2019ll send you the video kit with the DVDs and the instruction manual\u2014what you need to host it.\u00a0 All you have to do is pay for the shipping, and we\u2019ll get it out to you.\u00a0 Call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m ready.\u00a0 We\u2019ll host this in our church or in our community.\u201d\u00a0 Our toll-free number: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number to call; 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 Ask for the Stepping Up Super Saturday event kit when you get in touch with us, and we\u2019ll make the arrangements to get that kit sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention we have copies of Voddie\u2019s book, which is called <em>What He Must Be...if He Wants to Marry My Daughter.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>That\u2019s in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center, along with the books by Dennis Rainey\u2014<em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em> and <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless <\/em>Boys\u2014both of those for parents of teenage sons and daughters.\u00a0 More information about those books can be found online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can order copies of the books when you get in touch with us at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, again, I want to say a quick word to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>The word is, \u201cThank you.\u201d\u00a0 Couldn\u2019t do what we do without your support, and we mean that.\u00a0 When you make a donation from time to time to help support the ministry, you\u2019re helping cover the cost for producing and syndicating this daily radio program.\u00a0 The syndication costs are pretty significant\u2014so, thanks for your help with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, when you make a donation, we have some resources available that we\u2019d like to make available to you as thank-you gifts\u2014resources designed for couples who are in blended or step-families.\u00a0 If that\u2019s not you, you may still know somebody who is in a blended or a step-family.\u00a0 You could make a donation, select a resource, and give it to your friends as a gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDetails are online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, on our website.\u00a0 It will take you to the area of the web where you can make an online donation and select the resource you\u2019d like to receive as a thank-you resource, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Just ask about what\u2019s available for blended families.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be happy to let you know and happy to send out those resources as our way of saying, \u201cThank you for your support of this ministry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow, when we\u2019re going to talk to Matt Hammitt, the lead singer from the group Sanctus Real.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear about how God kind of smacked him upside the head about his responsibilities as a husband and a dad to lead his wife and his children.\u00a0 We may get him to sing the song that he wrote about that, as well.\u00a0 Hope you can be with us tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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the young man pursuing your daughter worthy of her?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-11.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie Baucham:<\/strong>\u00a0 The picture of intimacy there is this picture that begins with the commitment\u2014the leaving and the cleaving\u2014and leads to the one flesh.\u00a0 Unfortunately, in our culture, we\u2019ve got it backwards.\u00a0 We have people who want to become one flesh for a while to see if they are interested in really leaving and cleaving.\u00a0 As a result, they are undermining the intimacy in their marriage because the commitment is not what is there first.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 11<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We are going to talk today about the powerful role we have, as fathers, helping our daughters and our sons be ready for marriage.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 This has been interesting this week.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been talking to the author of a book called <em>Why My Daughter Will Never Get Married<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is <em>not<\/em>\u2014that is <em>not<\/em> the name of the book, Bob.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But may be the net effect of the book; don\u2019t you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It may be, but the name of the book is: <em>What He Must Be...if He Wants to Marry My Daughter<\/em> by Voddie Baucham.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019m honestly tempted to call Voddie\u2019s daughter, Jasmine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think Keith has been able to get Jasmine on the line; but before we introduce Jasmine, we ought to introduce her father.\u00a0 Voddie Baucham joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Voddie, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think we do have Jasmine on the line.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jasmine?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hi, Mr. Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How are you doing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m doing well; thank you.\u00a0 How are you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m doing great.\u00a0 We are calling you to verify the veracity of the story of this gentleman we have here in the studio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s telling us, Jasmine, that this book, <em>What He Must Be...if He Wants to Marry My Daughter<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was ghost-written by you.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not quite.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He says it comes with the Jasmine Baucham seal of approval.\u00a0\u00a0 Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is what you want; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\u00a0 It is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, you\u2019ve seen your dad.\u00a0 He\u2019s a big fella; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, some guy comes along\u2014he\u2019s going to have to be pretty stout, just to step up and say, \u201cMr. Baucham, I\u2019d like to talk to you about Jasmine.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure I could do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Does that ever cross your mind\u2014that he\u2019s kind of eliminating some of the pursuiters?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Well, it only takes one.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you still going to give this book the Jasmine Baucham seal of approval when you are 25?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir\u201428, 29, 32.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If the guys haven\u2019t stepped up, you are okay with that at 32?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Why would you give this your seal of approval?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 I just believe that marriage is a serious step, and it\u2019s a blessing from God.\u00a0 When I enter into that state, I want to be fully confident that the man that I\u2019m going to marry is pleasing in the ways of the Lord.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think there may be some guys listening to you right now who are going, \u201cI\u2019d like to talk to you.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I guess we should give them your dad\u2019s cell phone number.\u00a0 Is that right?\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think we send them a picture of Voddie.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what the book should be\u2014a picture of Jasmine on the front that says, \u201cIf you are interested in this\u2014\u201d and then a picture of you that says, \u201c\u2014you have to come through this.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 What do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jasmine, before we let you go here, I have to believe, at points, you have seen the model of what a marriage was designed to look like in Scripture.\u00a0 Can you tell me what you\u2019ve seen in your mom and dad\u2019s relationship and their marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen what\u2019s laid forth in the book.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen my father leading my mother in love, and I\u2019ve seen my mother joyfully submitting to him.\u00a0 My parents aren\u2019t perfect people, but they look to God\u2019s Word for their standards for living.\u00a0 Seeing them gives me confidence to know that the kind of marriage that they have isn\u2019t impossible because I see it lived out every day.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tell the truth.\u00a0 You are your dad\u2019s favorite; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Laughingly] I like to think so!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s my girl.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jasmine, you are a good sport to let us interrupt your day, here, and take this phone call.\u00a0\u00a0 Thanks for authenticating your dad\u2019s message. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that when they send out future copies of this, it ought to have, at the bottom, \u201cThe Jasmine Baucham seal of approval\u201d right there on the front cover.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Thanks, Jasmine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Love you, baby girl.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Love you, Daddy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye.\u00a0 Bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Jasmine:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bye.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wish we had a picture of your face, right now, for radio because you are beaming.\u00a0 You\u2019re proud.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am.\u00a0 I am.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is nothing quite like putting together a different legacy than the one you were given.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 God, in His grace, has really empowered you and your wife to do something different than the home you grew up in\u2014in Los Angeles.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 He really has.\u00a0 It\u2019s God\u2019s grace.\u00a0 It truly is God\u2019s grace.\u00a0 I love my little girl.\u00a0 She\u2019s still my little girl.\u00a0 I am very proud of the woman that she has become.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just wait until a guy starts circling.\u00a0 [Bird sounds]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, he\u2019s got to be a guy who loves Christ.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He has to be a guy who understands how to lead.\u00a0 He\u2019s got to be a guy who understands that marriage is the priority in a family relationship.\u00a0 In fact, out of all relationships, it is the priority.\u00a0 He\u2019s got to be a guy who loves kids and is ready to have kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And then he has to be a guy who understands the four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\u00a0 He\u2019s got to understand his role as priest, prophet, provider, and protector in his home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob really likes those four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d.\u00a0 There\u2019s a reason; right Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because I talk about them in my book, <em>The Christian Husband.<\/em>\u00a0 Is that what you are saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 I think three of the four, at least.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We talk about, \u201cIf Jesus was Prophet, Priest and King, then a husband needs to understand, if he\u2019s going to be Christ to his wife, he needs to fulfill those roles\u2014not in an abusive way or authoritarian way.\u201d\u00a0 You talk about a husband being the priest of the home\u2014he has to understand that he is a spiritual leader for his wife, for his kids.\u00a0 That\u2019s a responsibility God has given him; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely it is.\u00a0 I love this quote from George Whitfield, and I used it as a header in this chapter.\u00a0 \u201cEvery governor of a family ought to look upon himself as obliged to act in three capacities\u2014as a prophet to instruct, as a priest to pray for and with, and as a king to govern, direct, and provide for them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s what is interesting\u2014an interesting side note.\u00a0 When he says \u201cking\u201d there, I thought\u2014because the feminists hate me\u2014I thought, \u201cYou know, that term, \u2018king,\u2019 \u2014that\u2019s just going to incite them unduly,\u201d which\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t bother you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014doesn\u2019t bother me at all.\u00a0 In all honesty, I thought that may not translate very well in our culture\u2014so, taking king\u2014and I put provider and protector there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because that is what a king is supposed to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that is what a king is supposed to do\u2014to kind of help people grab onto these things and understand what we are talking about.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think people have enough residue of a biblical worldview to even understand how and why that\u2019s appropriate because of what feminism has done to our culture.\u00a0 They feel like it\u2019s demeaning to women to believe that a man is obliged, as Whitfield would say, to play those roles in the context of a marriage relationship; but that comes right out of Ephesians 5. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the question, \u201cIs it demeaning to us, as followers of Christ, for Jesus to be our Prophet, our Priest, our Provider, our Protector?\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t feel demeaned by that.\u00a0 In fact, I feel <em>treasured<\/em> by that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Valued by that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about those four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d for a second.\u00a0 Protector\u2014in this culture, it\u2019s really interesting to even hold the door open for a woman, as a man.\u00a0 I mean, I have women look at me like, \u201cWhy are you doing that?\u201d or, \u201cWhat\u2019s up with you<em>?<\/em>\u201d\u00a0 Ultimately, it\u2019s a man saying to a woman, \u201cMy life for your life.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI want to serve you and esteem you,\u201d as Bob was talking about, \u201cand value you by holding the door open for you.\u201d\u00a0 Yet, protecting goes way beyond just the common courtesies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, it goes way beyond that.\u00a0 In our church, we have rites of passage for young men.\u00a0 We talk about these four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d all the time.\u00a0 Sometimes men will have their sons, at 12 or 13, to do things that symbolically represent these four \u201cP\u2019s\u201d.\u00a0 For some of them, they talk about a protector.\u00a0 They\u2019ll have their son take a self-defense class.\u00a0 Some of them will take them down to qualify them at the gun range, like me.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt is something to just symbolize this idea that you are called to protect your family.\u00a0 You are called to lay it all down, if necessary, for your family.\u00a0 You are called to position yourself between your family and all harm that would come to them\u2014physically, emotionally, and spiritually.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard a great story about this very thing\u2014an essay written by a mom whose daughter had gone to work at a pizza delivery place.\u00a0\u00a0 She was out delivering pizzas in her car.\u00a0 The call came in for an order for a pizza.\u00a0 There was a guy, at the pizza place who took that order, looked at the address and said, \u201cNo, you aren\u2019t taking this one.\u00a0 I\u2019m taking this one.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not because it was a big tipper.\u00a0 It was because, in that part of town, a single woman shouldn\u2019t be delivering pizzas.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe mom said, \u201cThat\u2019s what you want a man to do.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t think that man should have let my daughter go down there.\u00a0 That man\u2014you know, we need equal rights for men and women.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 No.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI was glad that there was somebody, man enough, to step up and say \u2018No, I\u2019ll deliver that pizza to that part of town.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the same kind of principle.\u00a0 My question is, \u201cHow do you recognize, in a 20-year-old, whose voice hasn\u2019t changed that long ago; you know?\u00a0 How do you recognize if he is protector enough to marry your daughter?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about something in all of these different broadcasts.\u00a0 We\u2019ve sort of joked around the idea of my size\u2014of being an intimidating character.\u00a0 In a very real sense, if he\u2019s not man enough to stand up to me for her, he\u2019s not going to be a protector.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are a pretty intimidating guy.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right, but I\u2019m not as intimidating as a noise downstairs when you think somebody is breaking into the house.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what does standing up to you going to look like?\u00a0 You don\u2019t want him to challenge you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 First of all, it just means he\u2019s going to move toward meeting with Voddie.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s going to put his hand out and have a firm handshake and look you in the eye.\u00a0 Even though his gut may be twisted into a knot\u2014he isn\u2019t going to tell you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s going to say, \u201cDr. Baucham, nice to meet you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right; he is.\u00a0 There\u2019s going to be a sense in which he is willing to face what he must, for the sake of my daughter.\u00a0 He proves that to me when he first makes his intentions known.\u00a0 Now, if he sneaks around me like a coward, then I probably know he\u2019s not going to protect my daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about protector.\u00a0 Let\u2019s move to a different \u201cP\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 The one I\u2019m interested in is this one about a husband being a prophet.\u00a0\u00a0 You think about a prophet as somebody who is kind of fiery\u2014lets you have it\u2014blasts at you.\u00a0 Somebody who speaks prophetically is somebody who stands up and gets in your face.\u00a0 Is that what you are saying this man needs to be? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I think Whitfield says it best when he says a \u201cprophet to instruct\u201d.\u00a0 That\u2019s the role of a prophet\u2014to instruct\u2014to warn, if necessary.\u00a0 Again, this goes back to his responsibility in Ephesians, Chapter 5, to wash his wife with the water of the Word.\u00a0 Also, this man will ultimately have the responsibility to bring his children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe has a prophetic responsibility to instruct his family in the Word, which also goes back to what we\u2019ve talked about in previous broadcasts about this whole idea of unequally-yoked.\u00a0\u00a0 This is what I tell young women.\u00a0 If you are willing to pursue a marriage with an unbeliever, not only are you directly disobeying God, but you\u2019re also saying that it\u2019s not important that this man be able to wash me with the Word or instruct my children in the Word. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Another part of being a prophet, as well, is he takes the relationship and the young lady before God in prayer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That means there does need to be some kind of spiritual dimension to the relationship.\u00a0\u00a0 There are a lot of singles today who just date and have fun, and they don\u2019t want to talk about commitment.\u00a0 They don\u2019t want to talk about getting close to each other; and they, for sure, don\u2019t want to talk about spiritual matters.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that a young man, who is this kind of a leader, needs to be a prophet.\u00a0\u00a0 He needs to represent the young lady before God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Actually, I put that one in the priest category\u2014the priest representing her before God\u2014the prophet representing God before her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is very much that same division\u2014that he has to be an individual who is an intercessor\u2014who prays for his family\u2014who goes before the throne of God on behalf of this one whom he loves and to whom and for whom he\u2019s giving his life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As I\u2019ve been raising my sons now, one of the things I\u2019ve warned them about is as you start to cultivate a relationship with a young woman, it can be premature to pray with her too soon because there is something very intimate about praying together as a couple, especially in the heart of a young woman.\u00a0 I know, as a husband, when I take my wife by the hand and I say, \u201cSweetheart, let\u2019s pray,\u201d there is a sense of comfort, safety, security.\u00a0 She\u2019s drawn to me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Definitely. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If a young man came up to Jasmine and said, \u201cLet\u2019s pray about that,\u201d \u2014just as an innocent, kind of a godly big-spiritual-brother kind of a thing, there would be something that would go off in her heart; wouldn\u2019t there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely; absolutely.\u00a0 I would say that that goes back to the issue of protector.\u00a0 A young man needs to know that that\u2019s one of the areas where he must protect this young woman.\u00a0 He has got to protect her from premature attachment and devotion to him.\u00a0\u00a0 That is one of the things that is sometimes hard for a young guy to get.\u00a0 That is something that we have to teach our sons.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I\u2019ve said, part of this is about what we teach our sons.\u00a0 We have to come around our sons, when they are reaching the teen years and girls are starting to be interested in them, and we have to say things that really sound counterintuitive.\u00a0 \u201cSon, that girl is interested in you.\u00a0 You need to stay away from her\u2014okay? \u2014 because you can\u2019t satisfy the desires that she has and you don\u2019t need to, as Solomon would say in the Song of Solomon, \u2018Awaken love before it pleases.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201c\u2019Don\u2019t arouse it before it pleases.\u2019 So no, don\u2019t go trying to pray with her.\u00a0 Don\u2019t go doing that.\u00a0 Don\u2019t be mean to her, but protect her heart.\u00a0 Do not encourage her to deepen the affections that she has for you.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s part of what we do to teach our sons to protect young women spiritually and emotionally.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie, you have a son who is 16.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You got married when you were 20.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If he, at age 20, is coming and saying, \u201cDad, I\u2019ve noticed this young woman.\u00a0 I want to begin to pursue her.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not so much, \u201cIs he old enough, chronologically?\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s really, \u201cIs he old enough, in terms of the maturity?\u201d\u2014things we\u2019ve been talking about this week.\u00a0 For you to sign off, he could maybe be there at 20; couldn\u2019t he? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 He better be there at 20.\u00a0 If he\u2019s not ready to be married by the time he is 20, I haven\u2019t paid enough attention to my job of preparing him.\u00a0 This idea\u2014you know, that we prepare our sons\u2014here\u2019s the idea that we give our sons, \u201cSon, I want you to go and suck all the joy out of life.\u00a0 Then, after you\u2019ve sucked all the joy out of life, and you are in your late 20s or early 30s, I want you to look longingly into a woman\u2019s eyes and say, \u201cThere is no more joy to be found.\u00a0 I\u2019m ready to marry you and die.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 That\u2019s the attitude that we\u2019re giving our sons, man.\u00a0 No!\u00a0 The Bible talks about the wife of your youth.\u00a0 Now, am I saying, \u201cTwenty years old, you have to get married\u201d?\u00a0 No, that\u2019s not what I am saying; but I am saying that by the time you get there, I want to have done everything I can to prepare you to be married by that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So 18, 19 even, would be okay, if he is ready.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, if he\u2019s ready.\u00a0 Yes, if he\u2019s ready. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And to that single woman who is listening to our broadcast and is going, \u201cI\u2019m out of the home. I\u2019m in my 20s.\u00a0 My daddy is not connected.\u00a0 I\u2019m looking on the horizon at my church, among those I work with.\u00a0 I don\u2019t see any men like you are talking about.\u201d\u00a0 Just a piece of advice, as a father, to those single women\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, when women find themselves outside of that cover, recognize that God has given you alternatives.\u00a0 He\u2019s given you your church, your elders, people who are biblically-qualified and responsible to look out for you.\u00a0 We have a plan, in place, at our church.\u00a0 Our elders have a plan, in place, so that if a single young woman finds herself in a situation where there is no father to step in, we would function for her in the absence of that father and walk her through this courtship process.\u00a0 I think young women need to be in a situation where that is the case.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie, I appreciate you being a straight-shooter.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 I really appreciate your courage to have been given the heritage you were given of coming out of an unmarried situation and so surrounded by divorce.\u00a0 What did you say\u201420?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Twenty-two out of 25\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Twenty-two out of 25 marriages in your family have experienced a divorce.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in the last two generations.\u00a0 Yes, sir.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re breaking a generational curse, as the Bible speaks about.\u00a0 You are doing something that has been a verse that has been resonating in my soul for the past couple of years.\u00a0 \u201cDo not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What you are doing is\u2014you are overcoming evil with good, in your own marriage and family, by building your sons and looking out for your daughter.\u00a0 You\u2019re also\u2014through a book like this, and through your church, and your preaching and teaching\u2014you are helping to call the Christian community to be truly Christ-followers and men to step up.\u00a0 I want to thank you for being on our program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bless you.\u00a0 It has been a joy.\u00a0 I am so grateful for the opportunity you guys have extended to me and for just the trust that you have placed in me with this.\u00a0 This radio program means so much to so many people.\u00a0 You guys have been wonderful stewards of the platform that God has given you, and I\u2019m honored that you have trusted me with this time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We appreciate you being here and look forward to being with you in February\u2014when Voddie is going to be joining us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><em><sup>\u2122 <\/sup><\/em>marriage cruise, along with his wife Bridget.\u00a0 We look forward to that.\u00a0 If folks are interested in being a part of the cruise, we still have a few cabins left.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how you can join Dennis and Barbara, and Mary Ann and me, and Voddie and his wife, and others on the <em>Love Like You Mean It <\/em>marriage cruise, Valentine\u2019s week of 2013.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd then, Voddie is also a part of a special event that we have coming up in February called the Stepping Up<em><sup>\u2122 <\/sup><\/em>Super Saturday event.\u00a0 This is a one-day video-based event that is going to be hosted in hundreds, maybe even a thousand or more, locations all across the country on 2-2-13; February 2<sup>nd<\/sup>, 2013.\u00a0 That\u2019s Super Saturday, the day before the Super Bowl.\u00a0 The Stepping Up Super Saturday event\u2014it\u2019s a rally day for men to hear from Dennis Rainey, and Voddie Baucham, and Matt Chandler, and Robert Lewis, and Tony Dungy, and Mark Driscoll, and Bill Bennett, and others.\u00a0 Again, it can be hosted in your church.\u00a0 In fact, you can host it.\u00a0 A guy who says, \u201cI\u2019d like to see this happen at our church,\u201d \u2014go to your pastor, go to your leadership and say, \u201cHey, could I host this?\u201d or, \u201cCould we get a group of guys together\u2014rally the men in our church to come out and be a part of the Stepping Up Super Saturday event?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo-2-13 is the date. If you\u2019ll get in touch with us this month, and let us know that you\u2019re ready to go\u2014you\u2019d like to be one of the host locations for this event\u2014you contact us before the end of the month and give us the location where you\u2019re going to be hosting the event, we\u2019ll send you the video kit with the DVDs and the instruction manual\u2014what you need to host it.\u00a0 All you have to do is pay for the shipping, and we\u2019ll get it out to you.\u00a0 Call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m ready.\u00a0 We\u2019ll host this in our church or in our community.\u201d\u00a0 Our toll-free number: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number to call; 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 Ask for the Stepping Up Super Saturday event kit when you get in touch with us, and we\u2019ll make the arrangements to get that kit sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI should also mention we have copies of Voddie\u2019s book, which is called <em>What He Must Be...if He Wants to Marry My Daughter.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>That\u2019s in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center, along with the books by Dennis Rainey\u2014<em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em> and <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless <\/em>Boys\u2014both of those for parents of teenage sons and daughters.\u00a0 More information about those books can be found online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can order copies of the books when you get in touch with us at 1-800-FL-TODAY. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, again, I want to say a quick word to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>The word is, \u201cThank you.\u201d\u00a0 Couldn\u2019t do what we do without your support, and we mean that.\u00a0 When you make a donation from time to time to help support the ministry, you\u2019re helping cover the cost for producing and syndicating this daily radio program.\u00a0 The syndication costs are pretty significant\u2014so, thanks for your help with that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, when you make a donation, we have some resources available that we\u2019d like to make available to you as thank-you gifts\u2014resources designed for couples who are in blended or step-families.\u00a0 If that\u2019s not you, you may still know somebody who is in a blended or a step-family.\u00a0 You could make a donation, select a resource, and give it to your friends as a gift. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDetails are online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, on our website.\u00a0 It will take you to the area of the web where you can make an online donation and select the resource you\u2019d like to receive as a thank-you resource, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Just ask about what\u2019s available for blended families.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be happy to let you know and happy to send out those resources as our way of saying, \u201cThank you for your support of this ministry.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow, when we\u2019re going to talk to Matt Hammitt, the lead singer from the group Sanctus Real.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear about how God kind of smacked him upside the head about his responsibilities as a husband and a dad to lead his wife and his children.\u00a0 We may get him to sing the song that he wrote about that, as well.\u00a0 Hope you can be with us tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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