{"id":302610,"date":"2012-10-09T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-10-09T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/building-a-son-in-law\/"},"modified":"2012-10-09T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-10-09T15:00:00","slug":"building-a-son-in-law","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/building-a-son-in-law\/","title":{"rendered":"Building a Son-in-Law"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes if you can&#8217;t find the right man you have to build him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.96M","filesize_raw":"25125158","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817],"tags":[4955],"podcast_series":[7666],"cwp_profile":[8805],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302610","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","tag-preparing-for-marriage","podcast_series-what-he-must-be","cwp_profile-voddie-baucham","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302610\/building-a-son-in-law","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302610\/building-a-son-in-law","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"E0IwLoiTf0\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/building-a-son-in-law\/\">Building a Son-in-Law<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/building-a-son-in-law\/embed\/#?secret=E0IwLoiTf0\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Building a Son-in-Law&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"E0IwLoiTf0\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0You don\u2019t see that when you\u2019re in the dating stage because it seems like, \u201cWe have so much in common;\u201d but you don\u2019t see the struggle that is ten years down the road for you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to rewind this tape; and I\u2019m not going to ask you to go through what the Gospel is, again, Voddie \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Although it would be sweet to hear it.\u00a0 It was great!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was back in seminary class. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was just saying, \u201cHallelujah, hallelujah!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I really was.\u00a0 He was going through it\u2014Genesis to Revelation\u2014it was right there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is, undoubtedly, a dad who is listening right now; and he is going, \u201cNow, wait a second, Voddie.\u00a0 First of all, I\u2019m kind of making a hard-sell with my daughter because I didn\u2019t do it like you did.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t start out when she was a little girl, talking about this whole concept.\u00a0 She\u2019s 16, 17, 18, maybe 20 years old.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m going to intercept her life around this issue and the young man she brings to me?\u00a0 He\u2019s not going to be able to articulate the Gospel, as you just did. In fact, as I talk to him\u2014the more I talk to him, I don\u2019t find that he is a follower of Christ.\u00a0 I don\u2019t find that he knows God whatsoever.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that point, you may need to do what I did because this is a real story with me.\u00a0 One of the young men that came around\u2014I ended up taking him out on the porch and went through the Gospel with him and led him through \u201cThe Four Spiritual Laws\u201d.\u00a0 He indicated a decision to become a follower of Christ, at that point.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 So dads need to be armed, at this point, to be able to pick up young men where they are.\u00a0 Just because a young man doesn\u2019t believe\u2014it may be a great opportunity to lead a young man to Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely; absolutely.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t find one, build one.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t find one, build one. Here\u2019s the other thing\u2014even if you\u2019re not building one for your daughter, \u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There you go; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014don\u2019t be so selfish\u2014that this guy comes, and he\u2019s not the guy for your daughter\u2014that you just throw him away, but you have an opportunity in that young man\u2019s life.\u00a0 The other thing, of course, is we need to make sure that we are building our sons.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou want to talk about hypocrisy?\u00a0 Hypocrisy is, \u201cHere\u2019s the standard, way up here, for the guy who would marry my daughter; but here\u2019s the standard, way down here, for the way that I\u2019m raising my sons.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s hypocrisy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you shared that story, Dennis, I\u2019m thinking of a dad who says, \u201cOkay, then if I take him out on the back porch, and share the Gospel with him, and he indicates that he trusts Christ, then everything is\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no.\u00a0 No, no\u2014no, no.\u00a0 He\u2019s not in, at that point.\u00a0 He may be inside the gate, in terms of a conversation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you may need to see that borne out in his life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh my goodness, yes!\u00a0 Here\u2019s the problem with marriage today\u2014and, Voddie, you\u2019re a pastor.\u00a0 I want you to comment on this.\u00a0 People are getting married today with a God-consciousness that is everywhere from a thimbleful\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s squishy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they don\u2019t know who God is!\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know who God is, then you don\u2019t know who you are. How can you build a marriage without God being the builder of that home, and without you knowing Him and teaching you how to love another imperfect person?\u00a0 I mean, this is all about building marriages that go the distance; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Listen, when I was a young man\u2014and I\u2019ve said this before\u2014[I was] raised by a single teenage Buddhist mother in drug-infested, gang-infested south central Los Angeles, California.\u00a0 When I got old enough to get into what Winnie the Pooh would call a small \"smackerel\" of trouble, she shipped me out.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I went and lived for a year and a half in Buford, South Carolina, with my uncle, who was a retired drill instructor in the Marine Corps.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, I got out of trouble.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t fully retired.\u00a0 I bet, when Voddie came to live with him, he kind of got re-enlisted; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, baby!\u00a0 Here\u2019s the thing\u2014I remember so many things that my uncle told me.\u00a0 Here\u2019s one that I will never forget, \u201cIf you don\u2019t know the purpose of a thing, you will eventually abuse it.\u201d\u00a0 Now, he was talking about a weapon, or a tool, or whatever\u2014probably teaching me how to hunt, and all this stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you don\u2019t know the purpose of a thing, you will eventually abuse it.\u201d\u00a0 The problem with people who have, as you say, that thimbleful of God- consciousness\u2014they come into marriage and don\u2019t know the purpose of the thing.\u00a0 Therefore, they will eventually abuse it.\u00a0 They will turn it into something to satisfy their own needs, as opposed to something that will bring glory to God and satisfy the needs of their partner.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 They will turn it into something for their status.\u00a0 They will turn it into something for whatever\u2014but they <em>will<\/em> abuse it.\u00a0 A man who doesn\u2019t know the purpose of a wife will abuse his wife.\u00a0 A woman who doesn\u2019t know the purpose of a husband will abuse her husband.\u00a0\u00a0 It is <em>extremely<\/em> important that we have this biblical understanding of what a man is, what a woman is, what marriage is, what a husband\u2019s role is, what a wife\u2019s role is.\u00a0 Again, this goes back\u2014and I know we\u2019ve said it again, and again, and again; but we can\u2019t say it enough\u2014this is not just about the issue of courtship.\u00a0 This is much bigger than that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and you haven\u2019t been to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaway. We were laughing about that, before we came in here to the studio; but you don\u2019t know this\u2014we spend an hour, at the conference, talking about the three purposes of God for marriage\u2014why He created it\u2014that there is something bigger taking place in a marriage relationship than getting your own needs met.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, we take an hour for the husbands\u2014actually, two hours\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>An hour and a half; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014with the husbands and an hour and a half for the wives\u2014giving them their job description\u2014their biblical purpose as a husband and a wife, and then helping them know how to make that relationship work\u2014two imperfect people, for a lifetime.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what, Voddie?\u00a0 It works.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 People\u2019s lives are changed at these conferences.\u00a0 You\u2019re exactly right.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know the purpose of something, you are not going to experience God\u2019s best, either.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we see this at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 We spend time talking about the purpose for marriage.\u00a0 For a lot of couples, it\u2019s like the lights come on, as they begin to understand that there\u2019s more to this than what they thought when they got married.\u00a0 Most of us, when we got married\u2014we thought, \u201cThis is going to make me happy.\u201d\u00a0 That was our primary motivation.\u00a0 When you start to see there\u2019s a divine purpose\u2014a divine design\u2014it does make a big difference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s information available on our website about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways that we host, all around the country.\u00a0 We\u2019re right in the middle of our fall season for <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways, right now.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how you can attend one of these getaways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we\u2019re talking about events, let me also mention an event that Voddie is actually going to be a part of with us that\u2019s taking place in February of 2013.\u00a0 We\u2019re calling it the Stepping Up<sup>\u2122<\/sup> Super Saturday event.\u00a0 This is a day-long event for men\u2014a video event\u2014that can be hosted in churches or in other locations in communities, all across the country, on 2-2-13, February 2<sup>nd<\/sup>, 2013.\u00a0 That\u2019s Super Saturday, the day before the Super Bowl.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re encouraging you to get guys together and rally them to step up and be the men that God is calling them to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlong with Voddie, guys are going to hear from Matt Chandler, and Robert Lewis, Tony Dungy, Mark Driscoll, Bill Bennett, Crawford Loritts, Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great, one-day event for men, available on DVD.\u00a0 In fact, right now, if listeners will contact us this month\u2014you contact us and say, \u201cI\u2019ll host one of these\u201d \u2014and anybody can host it\u2014if you will sign up and let us know the location of where your event is going to be, we\u2019ll ship you the DVD kit, at no cost.\u00a0 Now, you can\u2019t sign up online.\u00a0 In order to do this, we have to talk to you.\u00a0 Call 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can go online if you\u2019d like more information.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the \u201cSuper Saturday\u201d link you find there.\u00a0 It will take you to an area of the web where you can get more information so that you can look this over and decide if it\u2019s something that you\u2019d like to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just tell you, the content is powerful\u2014the workbook for guys.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great event.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the Stepping Up Super Saturday event on 2-2-13\u2014February 2<sup>nd<\/sup>, 2013.\u00a0 Call if you\u2019d like to receive the kit.\u00a0 Call 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, I should mention that Voddie is going to be with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> marriage cruise in February of 2013, as well.\u00a0 We still have a handful of cabins available for the cruise.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like more information about that, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, a quick word of thanks to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with your donations.\u00a0 You help cover the cost for producing and syndicating this program, which is considerable.\u00a0 We appreciate those of you who help defray that by making occasional contributions to help with this ministry.\u00a0 This month, if you\u2019re able to make a donation to help support us, we\u2019d like to send you your choice of either <em>The Remarriage Check-up<\/em> book by Ron Deal, or a couple of audio CDs where we talk with Ron about what smart stepmoms do and what smart stepdads do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose resources are our thank-you gift this month when you help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate your support.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0 After you have made your donation, you can select the resource you\u2019d like to receive; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make your donation over the phone, and be sure to ask about the step- or blended family resources.\u00a0 We\u2019ll let you know what\u2019s available and how you can receive the one that\u2019s best for you or the one that you might want to pass on to someone you know.\u00a0 Again, let me just say, \u201cThanks for your support of the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Voddie Baucham is going to be here again.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about those times when dads have to make some unpopular decisions.\u00a0 They have to keep their daughter on their team, even when they\u2019re saying, \u201cNo, you\u2019re not going to date that guy.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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if you can't find the right man you have to build him.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-10-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<strong>Bob: <\/strong>\u00a0You don\u2019t see that when you\u2019re in the dating stage because it seems like, \u201cWe have so much in common;\u201d but you don\u2019t see the struggle that is ten years down the road for you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to rewind this tape; and I\u2019m not going to ask you to go through what the Gospel is, again, Voddie \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Although it would be sweet to hear it.\u00a0 It was great!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was back in seminary class. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was just saying, \u201cHallelujah, hallelujah!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I really was.\u00a0 He was going through it\u2014Genesis to Revelation\u2014it was right there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is, undoubtedly, a dad who is listening right now; and he is going, \u201cNow, wait a second, Voddie.\u00a0 First of all, I\u2019m kind of making a hard-sell with my daughter because I didn\u2019t do it like you did.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t start out when she was a little girl, talking about this whole concept.\u00a0 She\u2019s 16, 17, 18, maybe 20 years old.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m going to intercept her life around this issue and the young man she brings to me?\u00a0 He\u2019s not going to be able to articulate the Gospel, as you just did. In fact, as I talk to him\u2014the more I talk to him, I don\u2019t find that he is a follower of Christ.\u00a0 I don\u2019t find that he knows God whatsoever.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that point, you may need to do what I did because this is a real story with me.\u00a0 One of the young men that came around\u2014I ended up taking him out on the porch and went through the Gospel with him and led him through \u201cThe Four Spiritual Laws\u201d.\u00a0 He indicated a decision to become a follower of Christ, at that point.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay?\u00a0 So dads need to be armed, at this point, to be able to pick up young men where they are.\u00a0 Just because a young man doesn\u2019t believe\u2014it may be a great opportunity to lead a young man to Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely; absolutely.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t find one, build one.\u00a0 If you can\u2019t find one, build one. Here\u2019s the other thing\u2014even if you\u2019re not building one for your daughter, \u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There you go; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014don\u2019t be so selfish\u2014that this guy comes, and he\u2019s not the guy for your daughter\u2014that you just throw him away, but you have an opportunity in that young man\u2019s life.\u00a0 The other thing, of course, is we need to make sure that we are building our sons.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou want to talk about hypocrisy?\u00a0 Hypocrisy is, \u201cHere\u2019s the standard, way up here, for the guy who would marry my daughter; but here\u2019s the standard, way down here, for the way that I\u2019m raising my sons.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s hypocrisy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you shared that story, Dennis, I\u2019m thinking of a dad who says, \u201cOkay, then if I take him out on the back porch, and share the Gospel with him, and he indicates that he trusts Christ, then everything is\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no.\u00a0 No, no\u2014no, no.\u00a0 He\u2019s not in, at that point.\u00a0 He may be inside the gate, in terms of a conversation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you may need to see that borne out in his life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh my goodness, yes!\u00a0 Here\u2019s the problem with marriage today\u2014and, Voddie, you\u2019re a pastor.\u00a0 I want you to comment on this.\u00a0 People are getting married today with a God-consciousness that is everywhere from a thimbleful\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s squishy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they don\u2019t know who God is!\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know who God is, then you don\u2019t know who you are. How can you build a marriage without God being the builder of that home, and without you knowing Him and teaching you how to love another imperfect person?\u00a0 I mean, this is all about building marriages that go the distance; right? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Listen, when I was a young man\u2014and I\u2019ve said this before\u2014[I was] raised by a single teenage Buddhist mother in drug-infested, gang-infested south central Los Angeles, California.\u00a0 When I got old enough to get into what Winnie the Pooh would call a small \"smackerel\" of trouble, she shipped me out.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I went and lived for a year and a half in Buford, South Carolina, with my uncle, who was a retired drill instructor in the Marine Corps.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, I got out of trouble.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t fully retired.\u00a0 I bet, when Voddie came to live with him, he kind of got re-enlisted; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, baby!\u00a0 Here\u2019s the thing\u2014I remember so many things that my uncle told me.\u00a0 Here\u2019s one that I will never forget, \u201cIf you don\u2019t know the purpose of a thing, you will eventually abuse it.\u201d\u00a0 Now, he was talking about a weapon, or a tool, or whatever\u2014probably teaching me how to hunt, and all this stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIf you don\u2019t know the purpose of a thing, you will eventually abuse it.\u201d\u00a0 The problem with people who have, as you say, that thimbleful of God- consciousness\u2014they come into marriage and don\u2019t know the purpose of the thing.\u00a0 Therefore, they will eventually abuse it.\u00a0 They will turn it into something to satisfy their own needs, as opposed to something that will bring glory to God and satisfy the needs of their partner.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 They will turn it into something for their status.\u00a0 They will turn it into something for whatever\u2014but they <em>will<\/em> abuse it.\u00a0 A man who doesn\u2019t know the purpose of a wife will abuse his wife.\u00a0 A woman who doesn\u2019t know the purpose of a husband will abuse her husband.\u00a0\u00a0 It is <em>extremely<\/em> important that we have this biblical understanding of what a man is, what a woman is, what marriage is, what a husband\u2019s role is, what a wife\u2019s role is.\u00a0 Again, this goes back\u2014and I know we\u2019ve said it again, and again, and again; but we can\u2019t say it enough\u2014this is not just about the issue of courtship.\u00a0 This is much bigger than that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and you haven\u2019t been to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaway. We were laughing about that, before we came in here to the studio; but you don\u2019t know this\u2014we spend an hour, at the conference, talking about the three purposes of God for marriage\u2014why He created it\u2014that there is something bigger taking place in a marriage relationship than getting your own needs met.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, we take an hour for the husbands\u2014actually, two hours\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>An hour and a half; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014with the husbands and an hour and a half for the wives\u2014giving them their job description\u2014their biblical purpose as a husband and a wife, and then helping them know how to make that relationship work\u2014two imperfect people, for a lifetime.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what, Voddie?\u00a0 It works.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 People\u2019s lives are changed at these conferences.\u00a0 You\u2019re exactly right.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t know the purpose of something, you are not going to experience God\u2019s best, either.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we see this at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 We spend time talking about the purpose for marriage.\u00a0 For a lot of couples, it\u2019s like the lights come on, as they begin to understand that there\u2019s more to this than what they thought when they got married.\u00a0 Most of us, when we got married\u2014we thought, \u201cThis is going to make me happy.\u201d\u00a0 That was our primary motivation.\u00a0 When you start to see there\u2019s a divine purpose\u2014a divine design\u2014it does make a big difference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s information available on our website about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways that we host, all around the country.\u00a0 We\u2019re right in the middle of our fall season for <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways, right now.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how you can attend one of these getaways.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we\u2019re talking about events, let me also mention an event that Voddie is actually going to be a part of with us that\u2019s taking place in February of 2013.\u00a0 We\u2019re calling it the Stepping Up<sup>\u2122<\/sup> Super Saturday event.\u00a0 This is a day-long event for men\u2014a video event\u2014that can be hosted in churches or in other locations in communities, all across the country, on 2-2-13, February 2<sup>nd<\/sup>, 2013.\u00a0 That\u2019s Super Saturday, the day before the Super Bowl.\u00a0\u00a0 We\u2019re encouraging you to get guys together and rally them to step up and be the men that God is calling them to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlong with Voddie, guys are going to hear from Matt Chandler, and Robert Lewis, Tony Dungy, Mark Driscoll, Bill Bennett, Crawford Loritts, Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great, one-day event for men, available on DVD.\u00a0 In fact, right now, if listeners will contact us this month\u2014you contact us and say, \u201cI\u2019ll host one of these\u201d \u2014and anybody can host it\u2014if you will sign up and let us know the location of where your event is going to be, we\u2019ll ship you the DVD kit, at no cost.\u00a0 Now, you can\u2019t sign up online.\u00a0 In order to do this, we have to talk to you.\u00a0 Call 1-800-FL-TODAY; or you can go online if you\u2019d like more information.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the \u201cSuper Saturday\u201d link you find there.\u00a0 It will take you to an area of the web where you can get more information so that you can look this over and decide if it\u2019s something that you\u2019d like to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just tell you, the content is powerful\u2014the workbook for guys.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great event.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the Stepping Up Super Saturday event on 2-2-13\u2014February 2<sup>nd<\/sup>, 2013.\u00a0 Call if you\u2019d like to receive the kit.\u00a0 Call 1-800-FL-TODAY; 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy the way, I should mention that Voddie is going to be with us on the <em>Love Like You Mean It<\/em><sup>\u2122<\/sup> marriage cruise in February of 2013, as well.\u00a0 We still have a handful of cabins available for the cruise.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like more information about that, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, a quick word of thanks to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with your donations.\u00a0 You help cover the cost for producing and syndicating this program, which is considerable.\u00a0 We appreciate those of you who help defray that by making occasional contributions to help with this ministry.\u00a0 This month, if you\u2019re able to make a donation to help support us, we\u2019d like to send you your choice of either <em>The Remarriage Check-up<\/em> book by Ron Deal, or a couple of audio CDs where we talk with Ron about what smart stepmoms do and what smart stepdads do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose resources are our thank-you gift this month when you help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate your support.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0 After you have made your donation, you can select the resource you\u2019d like to receive; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make your donation over the phone, and be sure to ask about the step- or blended family resources.\u00a0 We\u2019ll let you know what\u2019s available and how you can receive the one that\u2019s best for you or the one that you might want to pass on to someone you know.\u00a0 Again, let me just say, \u201cThanks for your support of the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Voddie Baucham is going to be here again.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about those times when dads have to make some unpopular decisions.\u00a0 They have to keep their daughter on their team, even when they\u2019re saying, \u201cNo, you\u2019re not going to date that guy.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302610"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302610"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302610"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302610"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}