{"id":302599,"date":"2012-09-24T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-09-24T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/two-lives-changed\/"},"modified":"2012-09-24T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-09-24T15:00:00","slug":"two-lives-changed","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/two-lives-changed\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Lives Changed"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Each year, thousands of young men and women age out of the foster care system.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-24.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"28.58M","filesize_raw":"29967640","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818],"tags":[2712,5136,4475],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[9108],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302599","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","tag-adoption","tag-foster-care","tag-orphans","cwp_profile-various","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302599\/two-lives-changed","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302599\/two-lives-changed","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"o8p3Sll12p\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/two-lives-changed\/\">Two Lives Changed<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/two-lives-changed\/embed\/#?secret=o8p3Sll12p\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Two Lives Changed&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"o8p3Sll12p\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-24.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-24.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chay Gathers was a young girl in the foster care system who was brought into a foster family and soon learned that she hadn\u2019t just been brought into a family.\u00a0 She had become a part of a whole church.\u00a0 Later, when Chay was grown and she was getting married, the whole church participated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 When it came to giving me away, it was kind of awkward.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 Being a foster kid, there was really no one to give me away.\u00a0 Sheri was talking to some of the other church ladies about it.\u00a0 They were like, \u201cWell, I think when the pastor asks, we\u2019re all going to stand up and say, \u2018We do!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, it kind of stuck.\u00a0 When the pastor said, \u201cWho comes to give this woman away?\u201d the entire church, and other people who had had a hand in my life\u2014they said, \u201cWe do!\u201d\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is a very special live edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on Monday, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeptember 24<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We have two very compelling stories about foster care to share with you today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, most of the time when we hear something in the news about the foster care system, what you\u2019re going to hear next is not good.\u00a0\u00a0 Whatever kind of shows up in the newspaper or on TV related to foster care\u2014it is usually something going wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you, Bob, it\u2019s really fascinating.\u00a0 Men who age out of the foster care system and aren\u2019t adopted\u2014in their mid-20s, 80 percent are incarcerated.\u00a0 Compared to the general population, I think, in that same age group, it\u2019s in the teens\u2014like\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 17 percent.\u00a0 The greatest predictor of homelessness is to age-out of the foster care system without a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really a great opportunity, I think, for the Church.\u00a0 This really touches my heart because I\u2019m really proud of our oldest daughter Ashley and her husband, Michael, who is an OB doctor.\u00a0 They are foster care parents\u2014currently to two, but they had two more before that.\u00a0 They\u2019re caring for seven children right now\u2014 one little girl who is four years old and a little boy who is six months.\u00a0 They\u2019ve cared for him almost since the time he was born.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a heart in our family\u2014they were part of our family reunion last summer.\u00a0 We\u2019re really excited about them stepping up and stepping out to touch foster care children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a pair of great stories for our audience here at the Summit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh yes!\u00a0 We forgot to mention that we\u2019ve got a studio audience here.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This interview is taking place live at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit.\u00a0 We\u2019re excited.\u00a0 There are a couple thousand people here and another thousand people on a simulcast.\u00a0 We have a couple of guests, Chay Gathers and Mary Lee, who join us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay<\/strong>:\u00a0 Thanks for having us.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, welcome them!\u00a0 Come on.\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chay is recently married.\u00a0 She lives in Nashville and works for the FBI.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So that I don\u2019t get into trouble\u2014 [Laughter] \u2014what do you do for the FBI?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m an analyst.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You told us, \u201cWhen trouble comes,\u201d\u2014what do you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hide!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I\u2019ve been looking forward to meeting you because\u2014could you analyze Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that\u2019s beyond my expertise!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I\u2019m going to stay out of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s been beyond mine for almost 20 years, too.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMary is recently engaged and lives in Memphis; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She is an attorney and the Business Development Specialist for Youth Villages.\u00a0 That\u2019s a non-profit that works with high-risk children and their families.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been doing that for a number of years.\u00a0 We\u2019re excited about hearing both of your stories.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to start with you, Chay. You entered the foster care system the summer of your senior year in high school, but your difficulties at home started long before that.\u00a0 Share with us what was taking place in your original family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 They did.\u00a0 Basically, what was happening is my dad became an alcoholic.\u00a0 He became very abusive because of that.\u00a0 I would get kicked out in the middle of the night\u20142:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m.\u00a0 What I learned to do was find friends who had parents who worked a lot\u2014workaholic parents who would barely notice I was there.\u00a0 You know, I would stay a week here, a week there.\u00a0 I just kind of had this rotation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, one of my friends\u2019 parents took a week off.\u00a0 She was like, \u201cChay, you\u2019ve been here for a week.\u00a0 What\u2019s going on?\u201d\u00a0 I finally told her.\u00a0 This was the first time that someone had confronted me about it.\u00a0 Before, they would ask, \u201cIs everything okay?\u201d\u00a0 I would say, \u201cYup!\u00a0 Everything\u2019s fine.\u201d\u00a0 She kind of drilled in there and figured out what was going on.\u00a0 She contacted the Department of Children\u2019s Services.\u00a0 They sent a letter to my parents\u2019 house saying exactly when they were going to be there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, my parents were sober.\u00a0 The house was clean.\u00a0 Everything was totally different than what it normally was like.\u00a0 My dad convinced the Department of Children\u2019s Services that I was an unruly, uncontrollable kid who didn\u2019t want to live at home.\u00a0 The state forced me to go back home, and they told me that I couldn\u2019t stay with friends anymore.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, my case manager and I became good friends.\u00a0 She gave me her cell phone number.\u00a0 She realized I really wasn\u2019t an unruly, uncontrollable child.\u00a0 One night at\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 2:00 a.m., when I was kicked out, I called her and I said, \u201cCome see what it\u2019s really like.\u201d\u00a0 She came over, and then she left.\u00a0 The next day, I packed a bag; and I never went back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did you process what was going on in your life, as a teenager?\u00a0 I mean, you knew that this was not how kids are supposed to be living; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 Obviously, I grew up in the Church.\u00a0 I want to make the point that foster kids\u2014a lot of them\u2014are not in the Church.\u00a0 That\u2019s why they end up being a statistic.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t become a statistic because I was in the Church.\u00a0 The Church took care of me.\u00a0 I knew it wasn\u2019t normal, but what else was I going to do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had no idea how to deal with my situation.\u00a0 So, I dealt with it the best way I could.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you say the Church took care of you, explain what you mean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, before I came into foster care, obviously, my parents were poor and I was poor.\u00a0 You know, I would show up at church for VBS\u2014Vacation Bible School\u2014which I\u2019m sure a lot of you are familiar with.\u00a0 I had no idea that it cost money or that you needed to bring lunch or anything like that.\u00a0 The children\u2019s minister of the church would just hand me a sack every day with food in it.\u00a0 I had no idea that it was just for me and she wasn\u2019t doing it for the other kids\u2014things that I had no idea.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was pretty much taking care of myself for a long time.\u00a0 The church just filled in where they saw because I never asked.\u00a0 No foster kid\u2014no kid\u2014is ever going to ask for your help.\u00a0 You just have to see it and do it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that\u2019s what your church did?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They continued to insert themselves so when you entered the foster care system, your church kind of even stepped ahead of the entire government; didn\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 They did.\u00a0 Since I was so old when I came into foster care, the system was basically going to put me in a group home.\u00a0 You know, when you come into foster care, they do a planned meeting for you.\u00a0 They decide what they\u2019re going to do for you, essentially.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe church just decided that what they were going to do was not good enough.\u00a0 They decided they were going to have their own care plan meeting.\u00a0 They had the meeting.\u00a0 They decided, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Somebody from the church needs to have Chay live with them.\u201d\u00a0 My 7<sup>th<\/sup>-grade Sunday school teacher stepped up.\u00a0 Her name is Sheri, and she\u2019s great.\u00a0 We weren\u2019t close.\u00a0 We weren\u2019t best friends.\u00a0 She would take me out to eat for my birthday every year and pay for me to go to camp.\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty much it.\u00a0 So, it was a surprise when she stepped up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, just continuing to step into your life and care for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard this story of what your church did as you celebrated your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Obviously, being a foster kid, there was really no one to give me away.\u00a0 I have Sheri, obviously, and her family is like my family.\u00a0 Her dad was going to walk me down the aisle; but when it came to giving me away, it was kind of awkward.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 Sheri was talking to some of the other church ladies about it.\u00a0 They were like, \u201cWell, I think when the pastor asks, we\u2019re all going to stand up and say, \u2018We do!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, it kind of stuck.\u00a0 When the pastor said, \u201cWho comes to give this woman away?\u201d the entire church, and other people who had had a hand in my life\u2014they said, \u201cWe do!\u201d\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it\u2019s important here to say\u2014we\u2019re not talking about\u2014we keep talking about what the church did.\u00a0 The church didn\u2019t have a program.\u00a0 This was just people!\u00a0 Somewhere in the DNA of this church was a heart to say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 These kids are our kids.\u201d\u00a0 How do you think that happened?\u00a0 Do you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think they are people who live their faith.\u00a0 I think, if God is calling you to take care of people and if God is calling you to be a Christian, that\u2019s part of your faith\u2014to take people in and kind of help them.\u00a0 I feel like\u2014obviously, I was a Christian already\u2014but through them\u2014they were His hands and feet\u2014through them, I know that God loves me because they showed it to me \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of foster kids have attachment issues and a lot of different issues that I don\u2019t have because my church was there.\u00a0 They showed me His love through their actions.\u00a0 Foster kids have people telling them things all of the time, but it\u2019s when Christians step in and actually <em>do <\/em>what they say they\u2019re going to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMary, you entered the foster care system late, as well.\u00a0 Share a little about your story\u2014of how you ended up there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I came into foster care around the age of 12, due to abuse and neglect.\u00a0 It was very challenging.\u00a0 I remember coming into care and the worker being like, \u201cWell, we don\u2019t know if we\u2019re going to be able to find a foster home for you.\u00a0 Usually, 12\/13\u2014people don\u2019t really want to take children in.\u00a0 They usually get sent to group homes.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThankfully, I did get placed with a foster family.\u00a0 They were Christians, and they took me to church.\u00a0 The church that I attended was very supportive.\u00a0 There were a lot of people who were very accepting and welcoming of me.\u00a0 I think, for me, one of the hardest things was the whole label of being a foster child and not really feeling like I belonged anywhere.\u00a0 It was nice just to have that acceptance and that love from them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The teen years were easy for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 No!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I think they are challenging for everyone; but especially, for a foster child because you have so many emotions.\u00a0 For me, I felt a lot of guilt.\u00a0 I felt like, \u201cIf I had been better, then my birth family would have wanted me.\u201d\u00a0 I felt ashamed that I was a foster child.\u00a0 I felt disconnected\u2014like I really didn\u2019t belong anywhere.\u00a0 At times, I think I felt unloved and just abandoned.\u00a0 It was very challenging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The idea that, at this point in your life, you are saying, \u201cGood bye,\u201d to one family and trying to figure out who you are and where you belong.\u00a0 I mean, adolescence is hard enough!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You throw that on top of it.\u00a0 Did you act out in the midst of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I internalized a lot of those emotions and took them out on myself rather than other people.\u00a0 School was always a safe haven for me.\u00a0 I have always loved studying and stuff.\u00a0 So, that was somewhat of an outlet.\u00a0 Most of it was internalized.\u00a0 There was some depression, and some anger, and some things that I needed to work through.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your foster care family took you to church; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 They did; yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That began to meet some needs; but at a point, you felt like you needed more.\u00a0 You risked something that was really huge in your life; wasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> Yes.\u00a0 I always had that sense of yearning for a family.\u00a0 When I mean a family\u2014not just a house and parents to tell me what to do\u2014but that sense of love and true sense of belonging somewhere\u2014that unconditional love that comes with a real family.\u00a0 So, when I was 16, I went to court, which we have to do every six months or year for a judicial review.\u00a0 The judge actually stopped to say, \u201cMary, what do you want for your life?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI want a family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe just kind of looked at me.\u00a0 He was like, \u201cSo, you want to be adopted?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cYes!\u00a0 I want a forever family.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cLet\u2019s TPR,\u201d which is a \u201ctermination of parental rights\u201d.\u00a0 This time, I was 16.\u00a0 That\u2019s basically unheard of\u2014if you\u2019re over 12, you\u2019re considered unadoptable.\u00a0 So, at 16, I went up for adoption.\u00a0 Surprisingly, people were very negative.\u00a0 They were like, \u201cWhy are you doing this?\u00a0 You\u2019re a teenager.\u00a0 No one\u2019s going to want you.\u00a0 You\u2019re just putting yourself out there for a greater chance of rejection.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was heartbroken.\u00a0 I had waited all of this time to have a family and there was just this negativity around it.\u00a0 Thankfully, God found a family for me.\u00a0 I remember coming home from school, and my adoption worker was sitting in the living room.\u00a0 I had created a life book, which is kind of like a scrapbook.\u00a0 It had baby pictures, school report cards, awards, and different kinds of things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had allowed the adoption worker to share that to prospective families who were considering adopting me.\u00a0 She said, \u201cWell, your family was so impressed by your book that they actually created a family book for you.\u00a0 If you\u2019ll open the front page, you\u2019ll see the family that wishes to adopt you.\u201d\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 I opened to the first page, and it was actually my DCS case manager and his family.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was truly a blessing because I felt like they already knew me.\u00a0 They knew the good, the bad.\u00a0 They\u2019d read every single case record\u2014all of those bad things and good things\u2014and they still wanted me.\u00a0 They picked me.\u00a0 From the moment I walked in the front door, I felt like I was home.\u00a0 I was <em>their <\/em>daughter.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, I\u2019m going to give you both this assignment.\u00a0 I want you both to speak to the Church\u2014and when I say \u201cthe Church,\u201d I\u2019m not talking about a building.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about the people.\u00a0 Give the Church\u2014individual people\u2014your best advice when it comes to the foster care crisis that we have in America\u2014over 400,000 children in foster care, over 115,000 who could be adopted.\u00a0 Give the Church your best advice\u2014your best shot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say, \u201cJust follow wherever God is leading you,\u201d \u2014if He\u2019s leading you to be a foster parent or to adopt a child\u2014a young child or an older child\u2014even someone who\u2019s a young adult.\u00a0 We\u2019re never too old to need a family and want a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s the trend, now, to be a foster parent, which is great.\u00a0 We have people who come into our church.\u00a0 When that kid comes into our church, the whole church gathers around that family and immediately says, \u201cYou know, what do you need from us?\u201d\u00a0 We have domestic adoptions.\u00a0 We have international adoptions.\u00a0 The church just comes together and tries to fill that need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re going to give you a unique assignment here, right now.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to ask both of you to pretend\u2014and we do this occasionally on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 I love it when adult children honor their parents.\u00a0 It\u2019s not only biblical; it\u2019s right.\u00a0 It\u2019s just right.\u00a0 What I would like you to imagine in your mind is if I seated your foster mom, Sheri, across the table from you, Chay\u2014and your parents, your mom and dad, across from you, [Mary], who adopted you and gave you a family at the age of 16.\u00a0 I would like you to look them in the eye and just express what you\u2019d like to say to them on what they\u2019ve meant to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I think\u2014and I don\u2019t think this has ever happened before\u2014I think, instead of them pretending\u2014I think we may have the opportunity\u2014 [Applause]\u00a0 Come sit over here.\u00a0 Come take our chairs.\u00a0 Here, you sit right here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we have here Sheri, who is the foster mom of Chay, and Scott, who is the father of Mary.\u00a0 Mary, I\u2019m going to give you the assignment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just pretend like the rest of us aren\u2019t here.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, just look your dad in the eye and tell him what he means to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I hope that I\u2019ve been able to show you many times how much you, mom, and Beth, and our entire family mean to me.\u00a0 I think that I am the person I am today because of your love and your support\u2014not only as my dad\u2014but even before you were my dad.\u00a0 Just to see how much of an impact you\u2019ve had\u2014not only on my life, but the lives of others\u2014is just truly been a blessing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s great!\u00a0 [Applause] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright, are you ready for the same thing here?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Tearful] No.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 It\u2019s harder than it looks!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, that when you took me in, most of the time I didn\u2019t understand\u2014a lot of things; but as I\u2019ve gotten older, I know that it\u2019s because of you that I am who I am.\u00a0 I feel confident in God and I feel confident in doing what I want to do.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I would have been as confident if you hadn\u2019t given me the opportunity.\u00a0 I just feel loved because you love me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s great! [Applause]\u00a0 Whenever we\u2019ve done this \u201cpretend,\u201d without a real parent in the room, we don\u2019t get the opportunity for it to go the other way.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to take just a minute and we\u2019re going to turn the tables and let you just express to Chay what she has meant to you.\u00a0 Can you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheri:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheri:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just one of many because, as you know, the whole church really ministered to you; but because I was the one who took you in, I\u2019m the one who got to reap the blessings of loving you, and knowing you, and being a part of your life.\u00a0 People give me way too much credit for how wonderfully you\u2019ve turned out because you\u2019re an amazing girl, and you\u2019ve done a lot on your own; but I feel very blessed that God used me to be a part of your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s great!\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Mary, you know, you\u2019re not my adopted daughter\u2014you\u2019re my daughter.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always considered you that way.\u00a0 From the minute you moved in, it was just like you\u2019d been there your whole life.\u00a0 I love you very much! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There have been a few times when I feel like I have been observing and peering into the Holy of Holies\u2014a father and mother\u2019s love\u2014and what individuals can mean to a child is powerful.\u00a0 This verse seems appropriate\u2014Jeremiah 29:11, \u201c\u2018For I know the plans that I have for you,\u2019 declares the Lord, \u2018plans for wholeness and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.\u2019\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me pray for us:\u00a0 Father, thank You for the privilege of hearing two great stories\u2014stories of adoption, redemption, love, belief, and families.\u00a0 Even in our imperfect, broken state, You use us.\u00a0 We marvel.\u00a0 Thank You for the body of Christ and what they can mean to the 400,000 foster care children.\u00a0 We pray, Father, for the Summit and its many ministries\u2014many churches\u2014many arms, and legs, and hearts represented here\u2014that You would grant favor upon the dreams that are imagined and prayed to You in these days and that You would use the army of God to rescue those and give them families.\u00a0 We pray this for Your glory, in Christ\u2019s name, Amen.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a great couple of young women\u2014encouraging hearing how God used their foster families.\u00a0 Our hope, our desire, and our goal would be that every family would ask themselves, \u201cHow can we care for the needs of orphans in our world?\u201d\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s through foster care, maybe it\u2019s through adoption, maybe it\u2019s through supporting orphanages overseas.\u00a0 We believe every family can do something.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe need is so great that we think every family ought to, at least, ask the question, \u201cWhat would God have us do as it relates to the needs of orphans all around the country?\u201d\u00a0 Our team here at Hope for Orphans is hard at work trying to help families answer that question.\u00a0 In fact, this year, on National Orphan Sunday, which is Sunday, November 4<sup>th<\/sup>, the team is planning something very special for that weekend.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re hosting the first-ever national \u201cIf You Were Mine<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u201d weekend.\u00a0 The first 500 churches that get in touch with us and say, \u201cWe would like to help couples in our community better understand the process of adoption,\u201d \u2014we have a video seminar that we have put together; and we will send you the video seminar, at no cost.\u00a0 This is something you can host for people in your church or in your community. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is something that anybody\u2014who has a heart for adoption\u2014get this kit.\u00a0 Get approval from your church, and plan to do this on a Saturday or on a Sunday at your local church.\u00a0 Find out more about the national \u201cIf You Were Mine\u201d weekend,\u00a0\u00a0 November 3<sup>rd<\/sup> and 4<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, in a couple of weekends, at Southern Seminary, the Hope for Orphans team is teaming up with the folks at Together for Adoption to host a pastor\u2019s conference.\u00a0 There\u2019s more information about that at our website, too\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, let me mention that the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit is scheduled for next May\u2014May 2<sup>nd<\/sup> and 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014in Nashville, Tennessee.\u00a0 If you have a heart for caring for the needs of orphans all around the world, the Summit would be a great event for you to be a part of.\u00a0 There\u2019s a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com so that you could pre-register for Summit IX, May 2<sup>nd<\/sup> and 3<sup>rd<\/sup>, in Nashville, Tennessee.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to continue to look at how we care for the needs of orphans.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear what four Christian leaders have to say about men getting involved in orphan care ministry.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear from Rick Warren, Russell Moore, Dennis Rainey, and Jedd Medefind on tomorrow\u2019s program.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["28.58M"],"filesize_raw":["29967640"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302599.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302599.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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year, thousands of young men and women age out of the foster care system.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chay Gathers was a young girl in the foster care system who was brought into a foster family and soon learned that she hadn\u2019t just been brought into a family.\u00a0 She had become a part of a whole church.\u00a0 Later, when Chay was grown and she was getting married, the whole church participated.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 When it came to giving me away, it was kind of awkward.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 Being a foster kid, there was really no one to give me away.\u00a0 Sheri was talking to some of the other church ladies about it.\u00a0 They were like, \u201cWell, I think when the pastor asks, we\u2019re all going to stand up and say, \u2018We do!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, it kind of stuck.\u00a0 When the pastor said, \u201cWho comes to give this woman away?\u201d the entire church, and other people who had had a hand in my life\u2014they said, \u201cWe do!\u201d\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is a very special live edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on Monday, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSeptember 24<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We have two very compelling stories about foster care to share with you today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, most of the time when we hear something in the news about the foster care system, what you\u2019re going to hear next is not good.\u00a0\u00a0 Whatever kind of shows up in the newspaper or on TV related to foster care\u2014it is usually something going wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you, Bob, it\u2019s really fascinating.\u00a0 Men who age out of the foster care system and aren\u2019t adopted\u2014in their mid-20s, 80 percent are incarcerated.\u00a0 Compared to the general population, I think, in that same age group, it\u2019s in the teens\u2014like\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 17 percent.\u00a0 The greatest predictor of homelessness is to age-out of the foster care system without a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really a great opportunity, I think, for the Church.\u00a0 This really touches my heart because I\u2019m really proud of our oldest daughter Ashley and her husband, Michael, who is an OB doctor.\u00a0 They are foster care parents\u2014currently to two, but they had two more before that.\u00a0 They\u2019re caring for seven children right now\u2014 one little girl who is four years old and a little boy who is six months.\u00a0 They\u2019ve cared for him almost since the time he was born.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a heart in our family\u2014they were part of our family reunion last summer.\u00a0 We\u2019re really excited about them stepping up and stepping out to touch foster care children. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a pair of great stories for our audience here at the Summit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh yes!\u00a0 We forgot to mention that we\u2019ve got a studio audience here.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This interview is taking place live at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit.\u00a0 We\u2019re excited.\u00a0 There are a couple thousand people here and another thousand people on a simulcast.\u00a0 We have a couple of guests, Chay Gathers and Mary Lee, who join us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay<\/strong>:\u00a0 Thanks for having us.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, welcome them!\u00a0 Come on.\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chay is recently married.\u00a0 She lives in Nashville and works for the FBI.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So that I don\u2019t get into trouble\u2014 [Laughter] \u2014what do you do for the FBI?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m an analyst.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You told us, \u201cWhen trouble comes,\u201d\u2014what do you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hide!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I\u2019ve been looking forward to meeting you because\u2014could you analyze Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that\u2019s beyond my expertise!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I\u2019m going to stay out of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s been beyond mine for almost 20 years, too.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMary is recently engaged and lives in Memphis; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She is an attorney and the Business Development Specialist for Youth Villages.\u00a0 That\u2019s a non-profit that works with high-risk children and their families.\u00a0 You\u2019ve been doing that for a number of years.\u00a0 We\u2019re excited about hearing both of your stories.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re going to start with you, Chay. You entered the foster care system the summer of your senior year in high school, but your difficulties at home started long before that.\u00a0 Share with us what was taking place in your original family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 They did.\u00a0 Basically, what was happening is my dad became an alcoholic.\u00a0 He became very abusive because of that.\u00a0 I would get kicked out in the middle of the night\u20142:00 a.m. or 3:00 a.m.\u00a0 What I learned to do was find friends who had parents who worked a lot\u2014workaholic parents who would barely notice I was there.\u00a0 You know, I would stay a week here, a week there.\u00a0 I just kind of had this rotation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, one of my friends\u2019 parents took a week off.\u00a0 She was like, \u201cChay, you\u2019ve been here for a week.\u00a0 What\u2019s going on?\u201d\u00a0 I finally told her.\u00a0 This was the first time that someone had confronted me about it.\u00a0 Before, they would ask, \u201cIs everything okay?\u201d\u00a0 I would say, \u201cYup!\u00a0 Everything\u2019s fine.\u201d\u00a0 She kind of drilled in there and figured out what was going on.\u00a0 She contacted the Department of Children\u2019s Services.\u00a0 They sent a letter to my parents\u2019 house saying exactly when they were going to be there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, my parents were sober.\u00a0 The house was clean.\u00a0 Everything was totally different than what it normally was like.\u00a0 My dad convinced the Department of Children\u2019s Services that I was an unruly, uncontrollable kid who didn\u2019t want to live at home.\u00a0 The state forced me to go back home, and they told me that I couldn\u2019t stay with friends anymore.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, my case manager and I became good friends.\u00a0 She gave me her cell phone number.\u00a0 She realized I really wasn\u2019t an unruly, uncontrollable child.\u00a0 One night at\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 2:00 a.m., when I was kicked out, I called her and I said, \u201cCome see what it\u2019s really like.\u201d\u00a0 She came over, and then she left.\u00a0 The next day, I packed a bag; and I never went back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did you process what was going on in your life, as a teenager?\u00a0 I mean, you knew that this was not how kids are supposed to be living; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 Obviously, I grew up in the Church.\u00a0 I want to make the point that foster kids\u2014a lot of them\u2014are not in the Church.\u00a0 That\u2019s why they end up being a statistic.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t become a statistic because I was in the Church.\u00a0 The Church took care of me.\u00a0 I knew it wasn\u2019t normal, but what else was I going to do? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had no idea how to deal with my situation.\u00a0 So, I dealt with it the best way I could.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you say the Church took care of you, explain what you mean.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, before I came into foster care, obviously, my parents were poor and I was poor.\u00a0 You know, I would show up at church for VBS\u2014Vacation Bible School\u2014which I\u2019m sure a lot of you are familiar with.\u00a0 I had no idea that it cost money or that you needed to bring lunch or anything like that.\u00a0 The children\u2019s minister of the church would just hand me a sack every day with food in it.\u00a0 I had no idea that it was just for me and she wasn\u2019t doing it for the other kids\u2014things that I had no idea.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was pretty much taking care of myself for a long time.\u00a0 The church just filled in where they saw because I never asked.\u00a0 No foster kid\u2014no kid\u2014is ever going to ask for your help.\u00a0 You just have to see it and do it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that\u2019s what your church did?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They continued to insert themselves so when you entered the foster care system, your church kind of even stepped ahead of the entire government; didn\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 They did.\u00a0 Since I was so old when I came into foster care, the system was basically going to put me in a group home.\u00a0 You know, when you come into foster care, they do a planned meeting for you.\u00a0 They decide what they\u2019re going to do for you, essentially.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe church just decided that what they were going to do was not good enough.\u00a0 They decided they were going to have their own care plan meeting.\u00a0 They had the meeting.\u00a0 They decided, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Somebody from the church needs to have Chay live with them.\u201d\u00a0 My 7<sup>th<\/sup>-grade Sunday school teacher stepped up.\u00a0 Her name is Sheri, and she\u2019s great.\u00a0 We weren\u2019t close.\u00a0 We weren\u2019t best friends.\u00a0 She would take me out to eat for my birthday every year and pay for me to go to camp.\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty much it.\u00a0 So, it was a surprise when she stepped up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, just continuing to step into your life and care for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard this story of what your church did as you celebrated your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Obviously, being a foster kid, there was really no one to give me away.\u00a0 I have Sheri, obviously, and her family is like my family.\u00a0 Her dad was going to walk me down the aisle; but when it came to giving me away, it was kind of awkward.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t know what to do.\u00a0 Sheri was talking to some of the other church ladies about it.\u00a0 They were like, \u201cWell, I think when the pastor asks, we\u2019re all going to stand up and say, \u2018We do!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 So, it kind of stuck.\u00a0 When the pastor said, \u201cWho comes to give this woman away?\u201d the entire church, and other people who had had a hand in my life\u2014they said, \u201cWe do!\u201d\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it\u2019s important here to say\u2014we\u2019re not talking about\u2014we keep talking about what the church did.\u00a0 The church didn\u2019t have a program.\u00a0 This was just people!\u00a0 Somewhere in the DNA of this church was a heart to say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 These kids are our kids.\u201d\u00a0 How do you think that happened?\u00a0 Do you know? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think they are people who live their faith.\u00a0 I think, if God is calling you to take care of people and if God is calling you to be a Christian, that\u2019s part of your faith\u2014to take people in and kind of help them.\u00a0 I feel like\u2014obviously, I was a Christian already\u2014but through them\u2014they were His hands and feet\u2014through them, I know that God loves me because they showed it to me \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of foster kids have attachment issues and a lot of different issues that I don\u2019t have because my church was there.\u00a0 They showed me His love through their actions.\u00a0 Foster kids have people telling them things all of the time, but it\u2019s when Christians step in and actually <em>do <\/em>what they say they\u2019re going to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMary, you entered the foster care system late, as well.\u00a0 Share a little about your story\u2014of how you ended up there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I came into foster care around the age of 12, due to abuse and neglect.\u00a0 It was very challenging.\u00a0 I remember coming into care and the worker being like, \u201cWell, we don\u2019t know if we\u2019re going to be able to find a foster home for you.\u00a0 Usually, 12\/13\u2014people don\u2019t really want to take children in.\u00a0 They usually get sent to group homes.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThankfully, I did get placed with a foster family.\u00a0 They were Christians, and they took me to church.\u00a0 The church that I attended was very supportive.\u00a0 There were a lot of people who were very accepting and welcoming of me.\u00a0 I think, for me, one of the hardest things was the whole label of being a foster child and not really feeling like I belonged anywhere.\u00a0 It was nice just to have that acceptance and that love from them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The teen years were easy for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 No!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I think they are challenging for everyone; but especially, for a foster child because you have so many emotions.\u00a0 For me, I felt a lot of guilt.\u00a0 I felt like, \u201cIf I had been better, then my birth family would have wanted me.\u201d\u00a0 I felt ashamed that I was a foster child.\u00a0 I felt disconnected\u2014like I really didn\u2019t belong anywhere.\u00a0 At times, I think I felt unloved and just abandoned.\u00a0 It was very challenging. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The idea that, at this point in your life, you are saying, \u201cGood bye,\u201d to one family and trying to figure out who you are and where you belong.\u00a0 I mean, adolescence is hard enough!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You throw that on top of it.\u00a0 Did you act out in the midst of that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I internalized a lot of those emotions and took them out on myself rather than other people.\u00a0 School was always a safe haven for me.\u00a0 I have always loved studying and stuff.\u00a0 So, that was somewhat of an outlet.\u00a0 Most of it was internalized.\u00a0 There was some depression, and some anger, and some things that I needed to work through.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Your foster care family took you to church; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 They did; yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That began to meet some needs; but at a point, you felt like you needed more.\u00a0 You risked something that was really huge in your life; wasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong> Yes.\u00a0 I always had that sense of yearning for a family.\u00a0 When I mean a family\u2014not just a house and parents to tell me what to do\u2014but that sense of love and true sense of belonging somewhere\u2014that unconditional love that comes with a real family.\u00a0 So, when I was 16, I went to court, which we have to do every six months or year for a judicial review.\u00a0 The judge actually stopped to say, \u201cMary, what do you want for your life?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI want a family.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe just kind of looked at me.\u00a0 He was like, \u201cSo, you want to be adopted?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cYes!\u00a0 I want a forever family.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cLet\u2019s TPR,\u201d which is a \u201ctermination of parental rights\u201d.\u00a0 This time, I was 16.\u00a0 That\u2019s basically unheard of\u2014if you\u2019re over 12, you\u2019re considered unadoptable.\u00a0 So, at 16, I went up for adoption.\u00a0 Surprisingly, people were very negative.\u00a0 They were like, \u201cWhy are you doing this?\u00a0 You\u2019re a teenager.\u00a0 No one\u2019s going to want you.\u00a0 You\u2019re just putting yourself out there for a greater chance of rejection.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was heartbroken.\u00a0 I had waited all of this time to have a family and there was just this negativity around it.\u00a0 Thankfully, God found a family for me.\u00a0 I remember coming home from school, and my adoption worker was sitting in the living room.\u00a0 I had created a life book, which is kind of like a scrapbook.\u00a0 It had baby pictures, school report cards, awards, and different kinds of things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had allowed the adoption worker to share that to prospective families who were considering adopting me.\u00a0 She said, \u201cWell, your family was so impressed by your book that they actually created a family book for you.\u00a0 If you\u2019ll open the front page, you\u2019ll see the family that wishes to adopt you.\u201d\u00a0 [Applause]\u00a0 I opened to the first page, and it was actually my DCS case manager and his family.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was truly a blessing because I felt like they already knew me.\u00a0 They knew the good, the bad.\u00a0 They\u2019d read every single case record\u2014all of those bad things and good things\u2014and they still wanted me.\u00a0 They picked me.\u00a0 From the moment I walked in the front door, I felt like I was home.\u00a0 I was <em>their <\/em>daughter.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, I\u2019m going to give you both this assignment.\u00a0 I want you both to speak to the Church\u2014and when I say \u201cthe Church,\u201d I\u2019m not talking about a building.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about the people.\u00a0 Give the Church\u2014individual people\u2014your best advice when it comes to the foster care crisis that we have in America\u2014over 400,000 children in foster care, over 115,000 who could be adopted.\u00a0 Give the Church your best advice\u2014your best shot. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say, \u201cJust follow wherever God is leading you,\u201d \u2014if He\u2019s leading you to be a foster parent or to adopt a child\u2014a young child or an older child\u2014even someone who\u2019s a young adult.\u00a0 We\u2019re never too old to need a family and want a family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s the trend, now, to be a foster parent, which is great.\u00a0 We have people who come into our church.\u00a0 When that kid comes into our church, the whole church gathers around that family and immediately says, \u201cYou know, what do you need from us?\u201d\u00a0 We have domestic adoptions.\u00a0 We have international adoptions.\u00a0 The church just comes together and tries to fill that need. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re going to give you a unique assignment here, right now.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to ask both of you to pretend\u2014and we do this occasionally on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 I love it when adult children honor their parents.\u00a0 It\u2019s not only biblical; it\u2019s right.\u00a0 It\u2019s just right.\u00a0 What I would like you to imagine in your mind is if I seated your foster mom, Sheri, across the table from you, Chay\u2014and your parents, your mom and dad, across from you, [Mary], who adopted you and gave you a family at the age of 16.\u00a0 I would like you to look them in the eye and just express what you\u2019d like to say to them on what they\u2019ve meant to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I think\u2014and I don\u2019t think this has ever happened before\u2014I think, instead of them pretending\u2014I think we may have the opportunity\u2014 [Applause]\u00a0 Come sit over here.\u00a0 Come take our chairs.\u00a0 Here, you sit right here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we have here Sheri, who is the foster mom of Chay, and Scott, who is the father of Mary.\u00a0 Mary, I\u2019m going to give you the assignment\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just pretend like the rest of us aren\u2019t here.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, just look your dad in the eye and tell him what he means to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I hope that I\u2019ve been able to show you many times how much you, mom, and Beth, and our entire family mean to me.\u00a0 I think that I am the person I am today because of your love and your support\u2014not only as my dad\u2014but even before you were my dad.\u00a0 Just to see how much of an impact you\u2019ve had\u2014not only on my life, but the lives of others\u2014is just truly been a blessing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s great!\u00a0 [Applause] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright, are you ready for the same thing here?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chay:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Tearful] No.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 It\u2019s harder than it looks!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, that when you took me in, most of the time I didn\u2019t understand\u2014a lot of things; but as I\u2019ve gotten older, I know that it\u2019s because of you that I am who I am.\u00a0 I feel confident in God and I feel confident in doing what I want to do.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I would have been as confident if you hadn\u2019t given me the opportunity.\u00a0 I just feel loved because you love me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s great! [Applause]\u00a0 Whenever we\u2019ve done this \u201cpretend,\u201d without a real parent in the room, we don\u2019t get the opportunity for it to go the other way.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to take just a minute and we\u2019re going to turn the tables and let you just express to Chay what she has meant to you.\u00a0 Can you do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheri:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sheri:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just one of many because, as you know, the whole church really ministered to you; but because I was the one who took you in, I\u2019m the one who got to reap the blessings of loving you, and knowing you, and being a part of your life.\u00a0 People give me way too much credit for how wonderfully you\u2019ve turned out because you\u2019re an amazing girl, and you\u2019ve done a lot on your own; but I feel very blessed that God used me to be a part of your life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s great!\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Scott:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Mary, you know, you\u2019re not my adopted daughter\u2014you\u2019re my daughter.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always considered you that way.\u00a0 From the minute you moved in, it was just like you\u2019d been there your whole life.\u00a0 I love you very much! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mary:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 [Applause]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There have been a few times when I feel like I have been observing and peering into the Holy of Holies\u2014a father and mother\u2019s love\u2014and what individuals can mean to a child is powerful.\u00a0 This verse seems appropriate\u2014Jeremiah 29:11, \u201c\u2018For I know the plans that I have for you,\u2019 declares the Lord, \u2018plans for wholeness and not evil, to give you a future and a hope.\u2019\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me pray for us:\u00a0 Father, thank You for the privilege of hearing two great stories\u2014stories of adoption, redemption, love, belief, and families.\u00a0 Even in our imperfect, broken state, You use us.\u00a0 We marvel.\u00a0 Thank You for the body of Christ and what they can mean to the 400,000 foster care children.\u00a0 We pray, Father, for the Summit and its many ministries\u2014many churches\u2014many arms, and legs, and hearts represented here\u2014that You would grant favor upon the dreams that are imagined and prayed to You in these days and that You would use the army of God to rescue those and give them families.\u00a0 We pray this for Your glory, in Christ\u2019s name, Amen.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a great couple of young women\u2014encouraging hearing how God used their foster families.\u00a0 Our hope, our desire, and our goal would be that every family would ask themselves, \u201cHow can we care for the needs of orphans in our world?\u201d\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s through foster care, maybe it\u2019s through adoption, maybe it\u2019s through supporting orphanages overseas.\u00a0 We believe every family can do something.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe need is so great that we think every family ought to, at least, ask the question, \u201cWhat would God have us do as it relates to the needs of orphans all around the country?\u201d\u00a0 Our team here at Hope for Orphans is hard at work trying to help families answer that question.\u00a0 In fact, this year, on National Orphan Sunday, which is Sunday, November 4<sup>th<\/sup>, the team is planning something very special for that weekend.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re hosting the first-ever national \u201cIf You Were Mine<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u201d weekend.\u00a0 The first 500 churches that get in touch with us and say, \u201cWe would like to help couples in our community better understand the process of adoption,\u201d \u2014we have a video seminar that we have put together; and we will send you the video seminar, at no cost.\u00a0 This is something you can host for people in your church or in your community. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is something that anybody\u2014who has a heart for adoption\u2014get this kit.\u00a0 Get approval from your church, and plan to do this on a Saturday or on a Sunday at your local church.\u00a0 Find out more about the national \u201cIf You Were Mine\u201d weekend,\u00a0\u00a0 November 3<sup>rd<\/sup> and 4<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, in a couple of weekends, at Southern Seminary, the Hope for Orphans team is teaming up with the folks at Together for Adoption to host a pastor\u2019s conference.\u00a0 There\u2019s more information about that at our website, too\u2014FamilyLifeToday.com. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFinally, let me mention that the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit is scheduled for next May\u2014May 2<sup>nd<\/sup> and 3<sup>rd<\/sup>\u2014in Nashville, Tennessee.\u00a0 If you have a heart for caring for the needs of orphans all around the world, the Summit would be a great event for you to be a part of.\u00a0 There\u2019s a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com so that you could pre-register for Summit IX, May 2<sup>nd<\/sup> and 3<sup>rd<\/sup>, in Nashville, Tennessee.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to continue to look at how we care for the needs of orphans.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear what four Christian leaders have to say about men getting involved in orphan care ministry.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear from Rick Warren, Russell Moore, Dennis Rainey, and Jedd Medefind on tomorrow\u2019s program.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302599","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302599"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302599"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302599"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302599"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}