{"id":302587,"date":"2012-09-06T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-09-06T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/help-on-the-path-embracing-surrender\/"},"modified":"2012-09-06T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-09-06T15:00:00","slug":"help-on-the-path-embracing-surrender","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/help-on-the-path-embracing-surrender\/","title":{"rendered":"Help on the Path:  Embracing Surrender"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can look up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-06.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.26M","filesize_raw":"23339706","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[10361,2849,2813],"tags":[4561,4033],"podcast_series":[7898],"cwp_profile":[8940],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302587","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-busyness-and-stress","category-drifting-apart","category-recovering-from-divorce","tag-brokeness","tag-divorce","podcast_series-begin-again-believe-again","cwp_profile-sharon-hersh","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302587\/help-on-the-path-embracing-surrender","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302587\/help-on-the-path-embracing-surrender","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"uSyfxs6v8s\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/help-on-the-path-embracing-surrender\/\">Help on the Path:  Embracing Surrender<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/help-on-the-path-embracing-surrender\/embed\/#?secret=uSyfxs6v8s\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Help on the Path:  Embracing Surrender&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"uSyfxs6v8s\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-06.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-06.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When her marriage ended, what was it that kept Sharon Hersh from getting to a place where she was emotionally whole again?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it was holding onto control, feeling that I needed to handle this, that I knew how to handle it, that I could take care of things, that I could manage because I have been a brilliant manager almost all my life\u2014to give up those reins of control and say, \u201cTurns out I\u2019m not that good of a manager.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, September 6<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 There are times when life becomes unmanageable, when we need to learn how to surrender.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I remember reading a quote one time, and I can\u2019t quote it exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can\u2019t?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I can\u2019t fully.\u00a0 I never memorized it.\u00a0 I just\u2014I read it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is frightening\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I read it several times.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014for you to admit this on our broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a quote by S\u00f8ren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher.\u00a0 I remember him saying something to the effect that sometimes life has to get all the way to the bottom before you can look up and see light.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be as far down in the hole as you can possibly get before you can look up and see that there is something still up there.\u00a0 I think the story we\u2019re hearing this week is one of those stories.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think you are right, and I think the Apostle Paul was at one of those moments in his life.\u00a0 You may remember the passage in 2 Corinthians, chapter 12, where Paul talked about a thorn in the flesh that he\u2019d been given.\u00a0 It was there to really remind him of his weakness.\u00a0 He asked God to take it from him three times, but it didn\u2019t go away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is what Paul concluded in verse 9 of chapter 12 of 2 Corinthians\u2014he said, \u201cBut God said to me, \u2018My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Paul said, \u201cTherefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.\u00a0 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, calamities.\u00a0 For when I am weak, then I am strong.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest with us who experienced that\u2014really, all those words, \u201cweaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, calamities.\u201d Sharon Hersh joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Sharon, welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be with you.\u00a0 Thinking about those words, it would be really easy to say, \u201cWow!\u00a0 You really have been hurt by a lot of people,\u201d but unfortunately, most of those words I inflicted on myself.\u00a0 I really think that\u2019s important to say because healing begins, as we said yesterday, when you start to ask for help; but it continues as you are open to take responsibility.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs long as I am busy blaming somebody else, trying to prove that I\u2019m right, justifying or rationalizing my choices or decisions, I\u2019m going to stay stuck in a really ugly place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve already shared with us this week about your marriage.\u00a0 You had two kids.\u00a0 You and your husband were speaking at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways, and it took you by surprise in 2001 when he came and said, \u201cWe\u2019re over.\u201d\u00a0 You look back on that now, and you see your contribution to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the crumbling of your marriage.\u00a0 But when that happened, when he left and you were now a single-parent mom, you threw yourself into your work, you medicated with alcohol which had been an issue for you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that reemerged in your life, and you were in the slough of despond in the valley of despair for an extended period where you didn\u2019t see\u2014there wasn\u2019t much light.\u00a0 There was a lot of fog around and not a lot of sunlight penetrating through, was there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019d be a great way to describe it.\u00a0 I think in the midst of all of those overwhelming feelings, healing really started, as I said, when I asked for help.\u00a0 But when I began to look at the brokenness and approach it with three things\u2014that I really do want to share because I think it can bring hope to so many others who might be stuck in some relational distress.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOften, I imagine you guys are asked and as a therapist I\u2019m asked, \u201cHow do you get out of the mess that you\u2019re in?\u201d\u00a0 I think the word, \u201cHOW,\u201d is a great acronym for the path to healing.\u00a0 <br><br>It\u2019s first of all being honest, which we talked about yesterday; and honest about your part in this mess, because as long as you stay stuck in blaming somebody else\u2014no matter how responsible they are for the hurt, you\u2019re just going to be a person who was mistreated.\u00a0 There\u2019s so much more that God intends for us in the heartbreaks of life.\u00a0 So, I think being honest then can lead to an openness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, before you get to the \u201cO\u201d of HOW, let\u2019s just pause and camp on the \u201cH,\u201d about honesty.\u00a0 I was on a phone call with a counselor talking about a third party, a young lady who is really thinking like a victim.\u00a0 We were talking and interacting together about how to help a young lady get out of the distress she\u2019s in.\u00a0 When you\u2019re thinking like a victim, you can always find somebody to blame.\u00a0 If you\u2019re thinking like a victim, you won\u2019t take responsibility for what is yours to address in your life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014like your relationship with God, like your responsibility to your family, and what are the steps that you need to take.\u00a0 When you\u2019re being dishonest in your thinking about yourself, blaming somebody else, you\u2019ll never get out of your ditch.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 You won\u2019t because also when you\u2019re a victim, you can justify doing anything.\u00a0 So often that\u2019s where we get ourselves in more trouble, as I did in my own case when I relapsed in my addiction, justifying it because I was in so much pain and this terrible thing had happened to me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, honesty means, yes, being honest about the pain\u2014that\u2019s important\u2014and the things that have happened to you and how heart-wrenching and crushing and shattering it is; but then, to go a little bit further and begin to be honest about your responsibility.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you how that happened for me.\u00a0 It happened while I was watching a movie called <em>Bruce Almighty<\/em>.\u00a0 I will say that it was one of the most transformative moments of my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re watching that movie\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a Jim Carrey comedy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014with Jim Carrey.\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and he\u2014for those who don\u2019t know the movie, it\u2019s a farcical kind of\u2014he is given divine power.\u00a0 He can run the universe, and it\u2019s his to control.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s god.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s god.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t we all live like that sometimes?\u00a0 We certainly\u2014I can count the days when I probably got up in the midst of this awful situation\u2014and I didn\u2019t say it out loud, but I sure lived like it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was like, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ve got this, God.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take it from here, and I\u2019ll do what I want.\u00a0 I\u2019ll say what I want, and I can justify it all because this terrible thing happened to me.\u00a0 Everyone will feel sorry especially\u201d\u2014often in the Christian community, we like to figure out who was most to blame when a marriage falls apart.\u00a0 I kind of cuddled up in that and knew that I wasn\u2019t most to blame.\u00a0 So, I could live however I wanted.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 So, how did Jim Carrey come along\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and minister to you in a profound, deep way?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, as a result, I was filled with a lot of bitterness and resentment.\u00a0 My pastor would preach profound messages on forgiveness, and I would look at the friend sitting next to me and say, \u201cI don\u2019t want to forgive.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t think anyone in my life wanted me to forgive.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think my parents wanted me to forgive.\u00a0 Everyone was mad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can get that.\u00a0 You can hear the story.\u00a0 You can say, \u201cMan, can you believe he did what he did?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know my lawyer didn\u2019t want me to forgive.\u00a0 Our war was going on for a number of years.\u00a0 So, I was kind of stuck there as the victim enraged with justification and blame, which actually felt pretty good; and I wasn\u2019t going to forgive.\u00a0 If you remember in the movie, the character that Jim Carrey plays does come to a place of surrender.\u00a0 He cries out on the middle of the highway, \u201cI surrender to your will.\u201d\u00a0 Then he\u2019s run over by the truck.\u00a0 It does feel like that sometimes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, in the hospital, he prays for his girlfriend, Grace.\u00a0 He prays that Grace will be loved as she deserves to be loved and that she will be seen through God\u2019s eyes by someone.\u00a0 I remember something in my heart just\u2014it wasn\u2019t me.\u00a0 It was the Holy Spirit\u2014just crying out, \u201cI want to pray that for my ex-husband,\u201d and I began to forgive.\u00a0 I really did start to forgive for not just his part but even to forgive for my part.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhich see, when we\u2019re afraid to acknowledge our own part in it then we can\u2019t get the healing we need for ourselves, because being a victim is a hopeless place to be.\u00a0 You can never change that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sharon:<\/strong>\u00a0 As I can repent, then, I can change; and that was a moment of repentance for me.\u00a0 God really did transform my heart to begin to forgive; and that really, then, did set me in a place for that second word in the acronym, \u201cHOW,\u201d to be open\u2014open to other people, to their input in my life; open to their suggestions, to their advice; open to doing something differently than the way I had done it before.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In a word, you were teachable.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I certainly recognized that I was not going to get myself out of this with me.\u00a0 I had gotten myself into this place.\u00a0 So, I needed to listen to other people and be open to the Holy Spirit and exchange my way of doing things for another way of doing things, which is what I think surrender is.\u00a0 It\u2019s making an exchange.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomething about that crazy movie put me in a place of surrender and open to hearing from others and to making some changes in my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, before that time, you weren\u2019t\u2014I mean you weren\u2019t open.\u00a0 If somebody came along and said, \u201cI can help,\u201d you weren\u2019t open to help?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I was open to help for many things, but this core clenched fist that was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Holding on to bitterness?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it was holding onto control, Dennis.\u00a0 I think knowing that\u2014feeling that I needed to handle this, that I knew how to handle it, that I could take care of things, that I could manage because I have been a brilliant manager almost all my life; and to give up those reins of control and say, \u201cTurns out I\u2019m not that good of a manager.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s interesting just to reflect back on your story and what you shared earlier that how you really ended up in the ditch with your marriage was a denial of your marriage being in sad shape and not asking somebody to help, to say, \u201cWe\u2019re in trouble.\u00a0 We do need help.\u201d\u00a0 But in your pride, in your sense of control that wouldn\u2019t allow you to be open\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me put another word in there too, and that\u2019s the word \u201cfear.\u201d\u00a0 I think that I have been in hiding most of my life because I have been afraid that I would not be loved, that I would be judged, that I would lose out on something.\u00a0 So, much like Adam and Eve in God\u2019s first story about human beings, I wanted to hide because I was afraid and ashamed.\u00a0 Hiding is the ultimate form of control.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wanted to ask you about openness because there is a vulnerability at any level of openness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Anytime we are open, a part of us has just become vulnerable.\u00a0 So, for you to peel back\u2014again, you\u2019ve just been hurt, you\u2019ve got wounds and scars; now, to be open is counter intuitive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s crazy.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want it to sound like it was this linear process of I did this for two months; then I did this for four months; and then I got to this place.\u00a0 It definitely was a journey over a period of years of two steps forward, three steps back, of really believing that I could live truly and be open about it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you\u2019re sharing this, I can\u2019t help but reflect upon where you would go, to what community, what group of people you would go to, to be open and to be vulnerable, as Bob\u2019s talking about, with your real struggles.\u00a0 There\u2019s only one place on the planet that can offer the help and hope, forgiveness, embrace you in love and point you to something that would bring that healing.\u00a0 It\u2019s the Christian community; it\u2019s the church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you\u2019ve got people listening who are saying, \u201cI tried that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s where I\u2019m going, Bob.\u00a0 It\u2019s like this is where we\u2019re not a very safe place to go to.\u00a0 I think\u2014here\u2019s the question.\u00a0 We can sit back in our studio; and you, as a listener, can sit there in your car or listen to your radio or on your computer; and you can say, \u201cOh, yes.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 The old church down there, let\u2019s just throw stones at them.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br>Let\u2019s just take a step back and say, \u201cAre you a person who holds stones to judge people?\u00a0 Or are you a safe person who knows grace in your own life, so that you realize the right standing you have before God is because of Jesus Christ?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not because of something you did, some kind of perfection that you\u2019re living out; but you\u2019ve experienced it.\u00a0 Therefore, you can offer it, and you\u2019re a safe person to go\u2014who\u2019s struggling in their marriage, who\u2019s struggling with homosexuality\u2014to take a relevant issue today\u2014with lying, with stealing, pornography\u2014you name the sin.\u00a0 The point is we\u2019re not a safe place.\u00a0 The Christian community needs to become safer, and it needs to begin with me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sharon:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yet, what I have discovered, Dennis, is that when I am open and truly my heart is open to receive from others, to want help, there are more people than you would imagine who are willing to offer that.\u00a0 I have received grace and kindness and love 99 percent of the time, and I have been immersed in the church.\u00a0 So, when I do hear from people, \u201cOh, the church is not a safe place, you can\u2019t be honest,\u201d I know that is true in some places.\u00a0 But my question is \u201cDo you have the desperation to try again?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>See, that\u2019s what this book is all about.\u00a0 It\u2019s what enables us to risk again, to tell the truth again, to dare to hope or trust again.\u00a0 That comes from something that the Holy Spirit imparts to us when we are willing to say, \u201cI want to want from people that You put in my path, and I will soak in all they have to give me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I\u2019m still waiting on the \u201cW\u201d.\u00a0 Honesty is the first step on the path, and then, a risky openness that we\u2019ve described here.\u00a0 This is the path that gets you from desperation and being stuck to believing again and beginning again.\u00a0 What\u2019s the \u201cW\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 The \u201cW\u201d is willingness.\u00a0 So you ask for help.\u00a0 You tell the truth, and then, people that you start to trust through relationship may say, \u201cSharon, I think you need to take a little time off from speaking.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI think you maybe need to go to a retreat or go get some counseling.\u201d\u00a0 Are you willing to do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you a quick story here.\u00a0 Certainly, at one point in this journey, some friends of mine surrounded me, and they said, \u201cYou are working too hard.\u00a0 You are still escaping from dealing with your life.\u00a0 We want you to take a month, and we want you to go up to a retreat, a spiritual retreat, and get some soul care and just rest.\u201d\u00a0 I reluctantly said, \u201cYes,\u201d and I was mad\u2014mad that I needed to do this, that I had to yet again talk to somebody about my problems and be honest and open.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSee, I still don\u2019t always do well with practicing what I preach.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 I was at a retreat center up in the Northwest.\u00a0 Just the beginning days, I was angry, and I kept thinking to myself, \u201cI can go home.\u00a0 I\u2019m not imprisoned here.\u00a0 I can take a cab.\u00a0 I can go home.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, I was out running in the woods of the Northwest, and I came across this deer.\u00a0 It was right in the middle of the path.\u00a0 I\u2019m a little afraid of wildlife.\u00a0 So, I shooed it away, and it just stood there.\u00a0 So, I decided I would turn around and run back the other way.\u00a0 I looked over my shoulder, and it really looked like the deer was coming after me.\u00a0 When I got back to my room, I slammed the door.\u00a0 I lay down on the bed, and I thought, \u201cEven the deer are after me!\u201d\u00a0 I was just resistant to the willingness that I had preached about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next day, I went out for a run again, came to that same spot where the deer was, and there laying in the middle of the path was a half eaten baby deer.\u00a0 What I realized was that deer the day before had been the mother standing guard, and it hadn\u2019t been chasing me.\u00a0 It was protecting its young which had been half-eaten by a predator in the middle of the night.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI clearly heard God say, \u201cSharon, don\u2019t you see this is what I am trying to do?\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to protect you from being half-eaten and left along the roadside.\u00a0 So, the willingness to do what others may suggest\u2014a pastor or counselor or trusted friend\u2014is a willingness to surrender to God\u2019s protection.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to take care of myself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The word the listener needs to hear, repeatedly said in various ways in this broadcast, is \u201csurrender.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s a theme in my story.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Give up, give in, and listen.\u00a0 If you take a look at the book of Proverbs, the Proverbs over and over and over again say, \u201cYou\u2019ll find wisdom\u201d\u2014how?\u00a0 By listening to your father, by listening to the godly counsel of others\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014by listening to God, by listening to His precepts, His Word; but it demands that you have all those three things in place.\u00a0 Number one, you\u2019re honest, you\u2019re open, and you\u2019re willing.\u00a0 Those really do encapsulate surrender.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and while we\u2019re talking about honesty, let\u2019s be honest.\u00a0 There are times when we need some help on that path.\u00a0 Sharon, I think you\u2019ve provided that help today; and of course, you provide it in the book that you\u2019ve written called <em>Begin Again, Believe Again<\/em>, where you share your story; but you also share how God met you in the middle of despair\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and how He brought you up from the pit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I had to think as I looked through your book about David\u2019s statement, \u201cYou brought me up from the miry pit.\u201d\u00a0 David\u2019s been there, and God had to pull him out.\u00a0 God did the same for you.\u00a0 It\u2019s in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>Begin Again, Believe Again<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of Sharon\u2019s book in our FamilyLifeResource Center.\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 That\u2019s our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Look for Sharon Hersh\u2019s book, <em>Begin Again, Believe Again<\/em>.\u00a0 You can order from us online or just get more information if you\u2019d like.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to order a copy of Sharon\u2019s book by phone, call us toll-free at 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, quickly, we want to say a word of thanks to those of you who make this program possible.\u00a0 There is cost associated with producing a program like this and with syndicating it on a network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMany of you have stepped forward in the past to support the work that we\u2019re doing through <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate that.\u00a0 In fact, we could not be here doing what we\u2019re doing without that financial support.\u00a0 Those costs continue every day, and that\u2019s one of the reasons why we come to regularly and ask if you would consider supporting the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you can make a donation, we would like to send you as a thank you gift a CD of a conversation we had with author and counselor, Leslie Vernick, on the subject of emotionally destructive relationships.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll be happy to send you a copy of that CD when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the button that says, I CARE, and make an online donation.\u00a0 The CD will come to you automatically.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make a donation over the phone, and be sure to ask for a copy of the CD on destructive relationships when you call.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to send that out to you, and we appreciate your support of this ministry.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t do it without you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back again with us tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about some of the collateral damage that occurred in the midst of the valley that Sharon Hersh walked through.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear particularly about the rift between Sharon and her daughter tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.26M"],"filesize_raw":["23339706"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302587.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302587.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 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you have to hit rock bottom before you can look up.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When her marriage ended, what was it that kept Sharon Hersh from getting to a place where she was emotionally whole again?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it was holding onto control, feeling that I needed to handle this, that I knew how to handle it, that I could take care of things, that I could manage because I have been a brilliant manager almost all my life\u2014to give up those reins of control and say, \u201cTurns out I\u2019m not that good of a manager.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, September 6<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 There are times when life becomes unmanageable, when we need to learn how to surrender.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I remember reading a quote one time, and I can\u2019t quote it exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can\u2019t?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I can\u2019t fully.\u00a0 I never memorized it.\u00a0 I just\u2014I read it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is frightening\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I read it several times.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014for you to admit this on our broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a quote by S\u00f8ren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher.\u00a0 I remember him saying something to the effect that sometimes life has to get all the way to the bottom before you can look up and see light.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be as far down in the hole as you can possibly get before you can look up and see that there is something still up there.\u00a0 I think the story we\u2019re hearing this week is one of those stories.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think you are right, and I think the Apostle Paul was at one of those moments in his life.\u00a0 You may remember the passage in 2 Corinthians, chapter 12, where Paul talked about a thorn in the flesh that he\u2019d been given.\u00a0 It was there to really remind him of his weakness.\u00a0 He asked God to take it from him three times, but it didn\u2019t go away. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere is what Paul concluded in verse 9 of chapter 12 of 2 Corinthians\u2014he said, \u201cBut God said to me, \u2018My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Paul said, \u201cTherefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.\u00a0 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, calamities.\u00a0 For when I am weak, then I am strong.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest with us who experienced that\u2014really, all those words, \u201cweaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, calamities.\u201d Sharon Hersh joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Sharon, welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be with you.\u00a0 Thinking about those words, it would be really easy to say, \u201cWow!\u00a0 You really have been hurt by a lot of people,\u201d but unfortunately, most of those words I inflicted on myself.\u00a0 I really think that\u2019s important to say because healing begins, as we said yesterday, when you start to ask for help; but it continues as you are open to take responsibility.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs long as I am busy blaming somebody else, trying to prove that I\u2019m right, justifying or rationalizing my choices or decisions, I\u2019m going to stay stuck in a really ugly place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve already shared with us this week about your marriage.\u00a0 You had two kids.\u00a0 You and your husband were speaking at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaways, and it took you by surprise in 2001 when he came and said, \u201cWe\u2019re over.\u201d\u00a0 You look back on that now, and you see your contribution to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the crumbling of your marriage.\u00a0 But when that happened, when he left and you were now a single-parent mom, you threw yourself into your work, you medicated with alcohol which had been an issue for you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that reemerged in your life, and you were in the slough of despond in the valley of despair for an extended period where you didn\u2019t see\u2014there wasn\u2019t much light.\u00a0 There was a lot of fog around and not a lot of sunlight penetrating through, was there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019d be a great way to describe it.\u00a0 I think in the midst of all of those overwhelming feelings, healing really started, as I said, when I asked for help.\u00a0 But when I began to look at the brokenness and approach it with three things\u2014that I really do want to share because I think it can bring hope to so many others who might be stuck in some relational distress.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOften, I imagine you guys are asked and as a therapist I\u2019m asked, \u201cHow do you get out of the mess that you\u2019re in?\u201d\u00a0 I think the word, \u201cHOW,\u201d is a great acronym for the path to healing.\u00a0 <br><br>It\u2019s first of all being honest, which we talked about yesterday; and honest about your part in this mess, because as long as you stay stuck in blaming somebody else\u2014no matter how responsible they are for the hurt, you\u2019re just going to be a person who was mistreated.\u00a0 There\u2019s so much more that God intends for us in the heartbreaks of life.\u00a0 So, I think being honest then can lead to an openness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, before you get to the \u201cO\u201d of HOW, let\u2019s just pause and camp on the \u201cH,\u201d about honesty.\u00a0 I was on a phone call with a counselor talking about a third party, a young lady who is really thinking like a victim.\u00a0 We were talking and interacting together about how to help a young lady get out of the distress she\u2019s in.\u00a0 When you\u2019re thinking like a victim, you can always find somebody to blame.\u00a0 If you\u2019re thinking like a victim, you won\u2019t take responsibility for what is yours to address in your life\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014like your relationship with God, like your responsibility to your family, and what are the steps that you need to take.\u00a0 When you\u2019re being dishonest in your thinking about yourself, blaming somebody else, you\u2019ll never get out of your ditch.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 You won\u2019t because also when you\u2019re a victim, you can justify doing anything.\u00a0 So often that\u2019s where we get ourselves in more trouble, as I did in my own case when I relapsed in my addiction, justifying it because I was in so much pain and this terrible thing had happened to me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, honesty means, yes, being honest about the pain\u2014that\u2019s important\u2014and the things that have happened to you and how heart-wrenching and crushing and shattering it is; but then, to go a little bit further and begin to be honest about your responsibility.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you how that happened for me.\u00a0 It happened while I was watching a movie called <em>Bruce Almighty<\/em>.\u00a0 I will say that it was one of the most transformative moments of my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re watching that movie\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a Jim Carrey comedy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014with Jim Carrey.\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and he\u2014for those who don\u2019t know the movie, it\u2019s a farcical kind of\u2014he is given divine power.\u00a0 He can run the universe, and it\u2019s his to control.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s god.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s god.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t we all live like that sometimes?\u00a0 We certainly\u2014I can count the days when I probably got up in the midst of this awful situation\u2014and I didn\u2019t say it out loud, but I sure lived like it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was like, \u201cOkay, I\u2019ve got this, God.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take it from here, and I\u2019ll do what I want.\u00a0 I\u2019ll say what I want, and I can justify it all because this terrible thing happened to me.\u00a0 Everyone will feel sorry especially\u201d\u2014often in the Christian community, we like to figure out who was most to blame when a marriage falls apart.\u00a0 I kind of cuddled up in that and knew that I wasn\u2019t most to blame.\u00a0 So, I could live however I wanted.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 So, how did Jim Carrey come along\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and minister to you in a profound, deep way?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, as a result, I was filled with a lot of bitterness and resentment.\u00a0 My pastor would preach profound messages on forgiveness, and I would look at the friend sitting next to me and say, \u201cI don\u2019t want to forgive.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t think anyone in my life wanted me to forgive.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think my parents wanted me to forgive.\u00a0 Everyone was mad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can get that.\u00a0 You can hear the story.\u00a0 You can say, \u201cMan, can you believe he did what he did?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know my lawyer didn\u2019t want me to forgive.\u00a0 Our war was going on for a number of years.\u00a0 So, I was kind of stuck there as the victim enraged with justification and blame, which actually felt pretty good; and I wasn\u2019t going to forgive.\u00a0 If you remember in the movie, the character that Jim Carrey plays does come to a place of surrender.\u00a0 He cries out on the middle of the highway, \u201cI surrender to your will.\u201d\u00a0 Then he\u2019s run over by the truck.\u00a0 It does feel like that sometimes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Then, in the hospital, he prays for his girlfriend, Grace.\u00a0 He prays that Grace will be loved as she deserves to be loved and that she will be seen through God\u2019s eyes by someone.\u00a0 I remember something in my heart just\u2014it wasn\u2019t me.\u00a0 It was the Holy Spirit\u2014just crying out, \u201cI want to pray that for my ex-husband,\u201d and I began to forgive.\u00a0 I really did start to forgive for not just his part but even to forgive for my part.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhich see, when we\u2019re afraid to acknowledge our own part in it then we can\u2019t get the healing we need for ourselves, because being a victim is a hopeless place to be.\u00a0 You can never change that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sharon:<\/strong>\u00a0 As I can repent, then, I can change; and that was a moment of repentance for me.\u00a0 God really did transform my heart to begin to forgive; and that really, then, did set me in a place for that second word in the acronym, \u201cHOW,\u201d to be open\u2014open to other people, to their input in my life; open to their suggestions, to their advice; open to doing something differently than the way I had done it before.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In a word, you were teachable.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I certainly recognized that I was not going to get myself out of this with me.\u00a0 I had gotten myself into this place.\u00a0 So, I needed to listen to other people and be open to the Holy Spirit and exchange my way of doing things for another way of doing things, which is what I think surrender is.\u00a0 It\u2019s making an exchange.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomething about that crazy movie put me in a place of surrender and open to hearing from others and to making some changes in my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, before that time, you weren\u2019t\u2014I mean you weren\u2019t open.\u00a0 If somebody came along and said, \u201cI can help,\u201d you weren\u2019t open to help?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I was open to help for many things, but this core clenched fist that was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Holding on to bitterness?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it was holding onto control, Dennis.\u00a0 I think knowing that\u2014feeling that I needed to handle this, that I knew how to handle it, that I could take care of things, that I could manage because I have been a brilliant manager almost all my life; and to give up those reins of control and say, \u201cTurns out I\u2019m not that good of a manager.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s interesting just to reflect back on your story and what you shared earlier that how you really ended up in the ditch with your marriage was a denial of your marriage being in sad shape and not asking somebody to help, to say, \u201cWe\u2019re in trouble.\u00a0 We do need help.\u201d\u00a0 But in your pride, in your sense of control that wouldn\u2019t allow you to be open\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me put another word in there too, and that\u2019s the word \u201cfear.\u201d\u00a0 I think that I have been in hiding most of my life because I have been afraid that I would not be loved, that I would be judged, that I would lose out on something.\u00a0 So, much like Adam and Eve in God\u2019s first story about human beings, I wanted to hide because I was afraid and ashamed.\u00a0 Hiding is the ultimate form of control.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wanted to ask you about openness because there is a vulnerability at any level of openness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Anytime we are open, a part of us has just become vulnerable.\u00a0 So, for you to peel back\u2014again, you\u2019ve just been hurt, you\u2019ve got wounds and scars; now, to be open is counter intuitive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s crazy.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want it to sound like it was this linear process of I did this for two months; then I did this for four months; and then I got to this place.\u00a0 It definitely was a journey over a period of years of two steps forward, three steps back, of really believing that I could live truly and be open about it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you\u2019re sharing this, I can\u2019t help but reflect upon where you would go, to what community, what group of people you would go to, to be open and to be vulnerable, as Bob\u2019s talking about, with your real struggles.\u00a0 There\u2019s only one place on the planet that can offer the help and hope, forgiveness, embrace you in love and point you to something that would bring that healing.\u00a0 It\u2019s the Christian community; it\u2019s the church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you\u2019ve got people listening who are saying, \u201cI tried that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s where I\u2019m going, Bob.\u00a0 It\u2019s like this is where we\u2019re not a very safe place to go to.\u00a0 I think\u2014here\u2019s the question.\u00a0 We can sit back in our studio; and you, as a listener, can sit there in your car or listen to your radio or on your computer; and you can say, \u201cOh, yes.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 The old church down there, let\u2019s just throw stones at them.\u201d\u00a0 <br><br>Let\u2019s just take a step back and say, \u201cAre you a person who holds stones to judge people?\u00a0 Or are you a safe person who knows grace in your own life, so that you realize the right standing you have before God is because of Jesus Christ?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not because of something you did, some kind of perfection that you\u2019re living out; but you\u2019ve experienced it.\u00a0 Therefore, you can offer it, and you\u2019re a safe person to go\u2014who\u2019s struggling in their marriage, who\u2019s struggling with homosexuality\u2014to take a relevant issue today\u2014with lying, with stealing, pornography\u2014you name the sin.\u00a0 The point is we\u2019re not a safe place.\u00a0 The Christian community needs to become safer, and it needs to begin with me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Sharon:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yet, what I have discovered, Dennis, is that when I am open and truly my heart is open to receive from others, to want help, there are more people than you would imagine who are willing to offer that.\u00a0 I have received grace and kindness and love 99 percent of the time, and I have been immersed in the church.\u00a0 So, when I do hear from people, \u201cOh, the church is not a safe place, you can\u2019t be honest,\u201d I know that is true in some places.\u00a0 But my question is \u201cDo you have the desperation to try again?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>See, that\u2019s what this book is all about.\u00a0 It\u2019s what enables us to risk again, to tell the truth again, to dare to hope or trust again.\u00a0 That comes from something that the Holy Spirit imparts to us when we are willing to say, \u201cI want to want from people that You put in my path, and I will soak in all they have to give me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I\u2019m still waiting on the \u201cW\u201d.\u00a0 Honesty is the first step on the path, and then, a risky openness that we\u2019ve described here.\u00a0 This is the path that gets you from desperation and being stuck to believing again and beginning again.\u00a0 What\u2019s the \u201cW\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 The \u201cW\u201d is willingness.\u00a0 So you ask for help.\u00a0 You tell the truth, and then, people that you start to trust through relationship may say, \u201cSharon, I think you need to take a little time off from speaking.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI think you maybe need to go to a retreat or go get some counseling.\u201d\u00a0 Are you willing to do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll tell you a quick story here.\u00a0 Certainly, at one point in this journey, some friends of mine surrounded me, and they said, \u201cYou are working too hard.\u00a0 You are still escaping from dealing with your life.\u00a0 We want you to take a month, and we want you to go up to a retreat, a spiritual retreat, and get some soul care and just rest.\u201d\u00a0 I reluctantly said, \u201cYes,\u201d and I was mad\u2014mad that I needed to do this, that I had to yet again talk to somebody about my problems and be honest and open.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSee, I still don\u2019t always do well with practicing what I preach.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 I was at a retreat center up in the Northwest.\u00a0 Just the beginning days, I was angry, and I kept thinking to myself, \u201cI can go home.\u00a0 I\u2019m not imprisoned here.\u00a0 I can take a cab.\u00a0 I can go home.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, I was out running in the woods of the Northwest, and I came across this deer.\u00a0 It was right in the middle of the path.\u00a0 I\u2019m a little afraid of wildlife.\u00a0 So, I shooed it away, and it just stood there.\u00a0 So, I decided I would turn around and run back the other way.\u00a0 I looked over my shoulder, and it really looked like the deer was coming after me.\u00a0 When I got back to my room, I slammed the door.\u00a0 I lay down on the bed, and I thought, \u201cEven the deer are after me!\u201d\u00a0 I was just resistant to the willingness that I had preached about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next day, I went out for a run again, came to that same spot where the deer was, and there laying in the middle of the path was a half eaten baby deer.\u00a0 What I realized was that deer the day before had been the mother standing guard, and it hadn\u2019t been chasing me.\u00a0 It was protecting its young which had been half-eaten by a predator in the middle of the night.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI clearly heard God say, \u201cSharon, don\u2019t you see this is what I am trying to do?\u00a0 I\u2019m trying to protect you from being half-eaten and left along the roadside.\u00a0 So, the willingness to do what others may suggest\u2014a pastor or counselor or trusted friend\u2014is a willingness to surrender to God\u2019s protection.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have to take care of myself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The word the listener needs to hear, repeatedly said in various ways in this broadcast, is \u201csurrender.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s a theme in my story.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Give up, give in, and listen.\u00a0 If you take a look at the book of Proverbs, the Proverbs over and over and over again say, \u201cYou\u2019ll find wisdom\u201d\u2014how?\u00a0 By listening to your father, by listening to the godly counsel of others\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014by listening to God, by listening to His precepts, His Word; but it demands that you have all those three things in place.\u00a0 Number one, you\u2019re honest, you\u2019re open, and you\u2019re willing.\u00a0 Those really do encapsulate surrender.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and while we\u2019re talking about honesty, let\u2019s be honest.\u00a0 There are times when we need some help on that path.\u00a0 Sharon, I think you\u2019ve provided that help today; and of course, you provide it in the book that you\u2019ve written called <em>Begin Again, Believe Again<\/em>, where you share your story; but you also share how God met you in the middle of despair\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sharon<\/strong><strong>:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and how He brought you up from the pit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I had to think as I looked through your book about David\u2019s statement, \u201cYou brought me up from the miry pit.\u201d\u00a0 David\u2019s been there, and God had to pull him out.\u00a0 God did the same for you.\u00a0 It\u2019s in the book you\u2019ve written called <em>Begin Again, Believe Again<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of Sharon\u2019s book in our FamilyLifeResource Center.\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 That\u2019s our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Look for Sharon Hersh\u2019s book, <em>Begin Again, Believe Again<\/em>.\u00a0 You can order from us online or just get more information if you\u2019d like.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to order a copy of Sharon\u2019s book by phone, call us toll-free at 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, quickly, we want to say a word of thanks to those of you who make this program possible.\u00a0 There is cost associated with producing a program like this and with syndicating it on a network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMany of you have stepped forward in the past to support the work that we\u2019re doing through <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate that.\u00a0 In fact, we could not be here doing what we\u2019re doing without that financial support.\u00a0 Those costs continue every day, and that\u2019s one of the reasons why we come to regularly and ask if you would consider supporting the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you can make a donation, we would like to send you as a thank you gift a CD of a conversation we had with author and counselor, Leslie Vernick, on the subject of emotionally destructive relationships.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll be happy to send you a copy of that CD when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the button that says, I CARE, and make an online donation.\u00a0 The CD will come to you automatically.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make a donation over the phone, and be sure to ask for a copy of the CD on destructive relationships when you call.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to send that out to you, and we appreciate your support of this ministry.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t do it without you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back again with us tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about some of the collateral damage that occurred in the midst of the valley that Sharon Hersh walked through.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear particularly about the rift between Sharon and her daughter tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can join us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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