{"id":302584,"date":"2012-09-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-09-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/dr-megs-food-advice\/"},"modified":"2012-09-04T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-09-04T15:00:00","slug":"dr-megs-food-advice","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dr-megs-food-advice\/","title":{"rendered":"Dr. Meg&#8217;s Food Advice"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Tired of your kids scrunching their noses at the family dinner table?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-04.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.62M","filesize_raw":"24772144","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2881],"tags":[4915,4870],"podcast_series":[],"cwp_profile":[3187],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302584","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-young-children","tag-eating","tag-food","cwp_profile-meg-meeker","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302584\/dr-megs-food-advice","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302584\/dr-megs-food-advice","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"2r7Thcl6IH\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dr-megs-food-advice\/\">Dr. Meg&#8217;s Food Advice<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dr-megs-food-advice\/embed\/#?secret=2r7Thcl6IH\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Dr. Meg&#8217;s Food Advice&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"2r7Thcl6IH\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-04.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-04.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is there a dietary double-standard at your house?\u00a0 Here is physician, Dr. Meg Meeker:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it\u2019s very important for kids to eat what their parents eat.\u00a0 Don\u2019t make your kids eat one way and you eat another way.\u00a0 In other words, if you have a child who\u2019s getting chubby or is obese, don\u2019t put the child on the diet and then you sit up and watch the football game in the evening with a bowl of chips and a coke next to you.\u00a0 That\u2019s not fair.\u00a0 Everybody eats the same so you have family eating patterns.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, September 4th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk not only about family eating patterns today.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about health food, who\u2019s in charge at your house, and who ought to be in charge.\u00a0 Dr. Meg Meeker joins us.\u00a0 I hope you\u2019ll stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious; do you like a good hot dog, if somebody serves you a really nice, meaty hot dog?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember my last hot dog.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Where was it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was back last fall in the first game of the World Series that the Cardinals were in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you were at the ballpark for Game One.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Game One; and I thought, \u201cYou know what, it is totally filled with nitrates; it is probably filled with nuclear combustible material. . . \u201c(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of those ballpark dogs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you know what?\u00a0 It\u2019s baseball and hot dogs with lots of pickle relish and mustard and I\u2019m salivating even as I think about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How about Barbara?\u00a0 Does she like a good hotdog?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She does, but she doesn\u2019t break discipline like I would.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe would go to the ball park and eat peanuts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s my question:\u00a0 do you think if parents are feeding their kids hot dogs today they should be arrested?\u00a0 Are they negligent?\u00a0 Should they be taken into police custody?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 Let\u2019s ask our resident pediatrician. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think we should.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She has been a pediatrician and has practiced adolescent medicine for more than 25 years.\u00a0 She\u2019s the author of more than five books, including the best-selling books <em>Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters; Boys Should Be Boys <\/em>and <em>Your Kids at Risk.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Meg Meeker joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 What do you think, Meg?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s delightful to be with you and are you asking me what I think about hot dogs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Should they be arrested?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you put kids at risk when you feed them. . .?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019re a doctor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think\u00a0 if they get arrested . . . \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not talking about tofu dogs here, either.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about the <em>real <\/em>thing, you know, with all kinds of animal parts in them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think if we advocate\u00a0 parents being arrested for feeding their kids hot dogs, then we need to have Dennis arrested because he just ate a hot dog a year ago.\u00a0 Right?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s tongue in cheek, but you\u2019re talking to a lot of moms and a lot of dads.\u00a0 I know this sounds tongue in cheek.\u00a0 They really do want their kids to grow up and be healthy.\u00a0 You\u2019re a pediatrician.\u00a0 Do you see parents going overboard in this area?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, absolutely.\u00a0 And I\u2019m going to say something that I didn\u2019t know early on in my practice \u2013 I learned probably after about ten years of practicing:\u00a0 feeding kids is an extraordinarily emotional issue for mothers.\u00a0 It pushes a lot of buttons in a mother.\u00a0 Some of the most stressed mothers I see are those of children who are failing to thrive, they\u2019re not gaining weight.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of the most stressed mothers I see are of girls who are thin and heading toward eating disorders when they\u2019re older; but also mothers whose kids are overweight and they are struggling with their weight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s why I believe it\u2019s so stressful for mothers:\u00a0 because there\u2019s a primal instinct that moms have that if we can\u2019t even feed our kids right, then we\u2019re really bad moms.\u00a0 We measure how well we\u2019re feeding them and giving them proper nutrition by their weight.\u00a0 So, if they\u2019re not gaining weight or they\u2019re overweight, it\u2019s our fault.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, that\u2019s not true.\u00a0 But, second of all, it\u2019s an enormous issue now because kids are marketed so much food all of the time, and they\u2019re spending so much time looking at media --upwards of six or seven hours per day with some form of media -- and you know there are advertisements.\u00a0 The advertisements mostly, or very often, involve food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur kids are being barraged with all of this food and, as a mother, it really is frightening.\u00a0 \u201cHow do I guard my child against wanting to eat Cheetos and hot dogs and Slurpees all day long?\u201d\u00a0 They constantly will come in and ask my advice as to how to help them navigate this.\u00a0 So, I spend a lot of time with this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you see a lot of childhood obesity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s on the increase in our culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do, I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So there are moms looking around thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re not doing Lucky Charms at our house because that\u2019s just going to lead my kids to grow up and be obese.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right; absolutely.\u00a0 There are a couple of tips I like to give moms.\u00a0 And I really do think they work because I\u2019ve been at this awhile.\u00a0 The first one is, try not to make it an emotional issue; try to attack it just like any issue in your house.\u00a0 The way you eat is just part of your home life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s very important for kids to eat what their parents eat.\u00a0 Don\u2019t make your kids eat one way and you eat another way.\u00a0 In other words, if you have a child who\u2019s getting chubby or is obese, don\u2019t put the child on the diet and then you sit up and watch the football game in the evening with a bowl of chips and a coke next to you.\u00a0 That\u2019s not fair.\u00a0 Everybody eats the same so you have family eating patterns.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMom is in charge or dad is in charge of what those meals consist of.\u00a0 That\u2019s your right and that\u2019s the way it is.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even care if the child is sixteen years old.\u00a0 You own everything in the home . . . (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t. . . including the food and the refrigerator and the contents, and the car or cars in the garage.\u00a0 You know, I made no bones about that with my kids.\u00a0 My son, when he went off to college when he was eighteen, said, \u201cWell Mom, you can no longer own me.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cNo, but I own most of the stuff you have!\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, did your kids have Lucky Charms?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is what I did.\u00a0 Our kids didn\u2019t want Lucky Charms, but all kids want junk cereal, so here\u2019s how I got around that.\u00a0 I would pour them a bowl of Cheerios or Raisin Bran and I would put a handful of junk cereal on top of it.\u00a0 That\u2019s how I got around that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn other words, all kids are going to want some kind of junk food, so let them have little bits here and there but it\u2019s not their primary source of nutrition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And fast food eating?\u00a0 I mean, that\u2019s a big part of the issue these days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 You know, once every couple of weeks \u2013 once or twice a month.\u00a0 That\u2019s it.\u00a0 But their primary source of nutrition must come from really good meats and vegetables and fruits that are served in the home \u2013 and I say in the home because even a five year-old, if they\u2019re outside your home and they\u2019re eating, you have no control over what they\u2019re eating at all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I think it\u2019s important for parents to <em>pack <\/em>their kids\u2019 school lunches because normal, healthy kids are always going to opt for fries and a burger over a salad.\u00a0 I\u2019ve even had one little boy who came in and said, \u201cNo, my mom lets me eat school lunches and I have salad every day.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, what do you put on your salad?\u201d\u00a0 He kind of looked at me and he said, \u201cWell, on my salad I have croutons and ranch dressing.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what his salad was.\u00a0 No lettuce, no veggies or anything!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have no control.\u00a0 So pack your kids\u2019 lunches.\u00a0 Be in charge of all the meals.\u00a0 Have mealtimes.\u00a0 One of the things that goes back, I think, to this thing that we were talking about in an earlier program, is that moms feel that their kids need to be happy all the time.\u00a0 They allow their kids to graze and eat whenever they want.\u00a0 I think this is ridiculous.\u00a0 You know, the kitchen is open three times a day and that\u2019s it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s sort of an indulgence. \u201cWhen my child\u2019s hungry, I want him to be happy.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Well, keep a bowl of fruit out all of the time.\u00a0 Don\u2019t hesitate being pretty strict about food rules.\u00a0 I think mothers are very hesitant to be strict because it feels like a complicated issue.\u00a0 They overthink it.\u00a0 If I restrict what my child eats, then they\u2019re going to develop an eating disorder.\u00a0 If I talk to them, then they\u2019re going to become. . . So we over think it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tServing of food and handling of food should be just like anything else in the home.\u00a0 It should have an order to it and mom and dad are in charge of that order.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You think that a lot of moms are obsessed with the happiness of their kids and it seems to me that food really plays into this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very much so.\u00a0 Very typically, the reward for many of the kids coming into my office, after they get shots, is to go get a \u201cHappy Meal.\u201d\u00a0 They want their child to have a reward and to be happy.\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s just sort of the American way.\u00a0 Mothers are so much wanting their kids to feel happy and content.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the child wants to go through the drive-through three or four nights a week, well that\u2019s what I\u2019m going to let him do because I don\u2019t want to be a mean mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to scar my child; my child needs to be happy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If a child is a husky child and a mom or a dad is starting to be concerned because the rest of the family is kind of average height and weight and this child is starting to look a little heavier, what should that mom or dad do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, again, the whole family needs to eat like the husky child needs to eat, which is probably calorie restriction.\u00a0 Believe it or not, I have some dads who just don\u2019t like to do that.\u00a0 \u201cBut I like my Doritos and I like my Haagen Dazs; I like this.\u201d\u00a0 I say, \u201cWell, if you need to get it then get in the car and go to the 7-11 at 11 o\u2019clock at night.\u00a0 But don\u2019t bring stuff into the house.\u201d\u00a0 Dads don\u2019t like me very much sometimes. (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, you know, again you can\u2019t just put the child on the spot.\u00a0 It\u2019s a family issue.\u00a0 The whole family has to eat that way, because a child will never succeed if you do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Speak to the issue of eating disorders.\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting we even categorize them as \u201ceating\u201d disorders.\u00a0 Is it really about the food?\u00a0 What is it actually about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It\u2019s really usually not about the food.\u00a0 I would say even if it\u2019s an eating disorder where you\u2019ve got obesity involved, because I think a lot of the same dynamics are at play there.\u00a0 Typically in eating disorders, we have usually a girl, though I\u2019ve had two boys in my practice who had eating disorders, who are hyper vigilant about their behaviors.\u00a0 They\u2019re hyper disciplined; they\u2019re obsessive \u2013 almost obsessive-compulsive \u2013 about perfection and getting things right; and it\u2019s really a control.\u00a0 They need to be in charge all of the time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost are depressed.\u00a0 Most are very anxious.\u00a0 Most have very poor self-esteem; a very low sense of \u201cwho I am.\u201d\u00a0 Eating disorders are kind of like the perfect storm.\u00a0\u00a0 A lot of things \u2013 a lot of factors \u2013 are coming together and erupting all at once.\u00a0 Primarily, it\u2019s an issue where kids want control but, ironically, by the time they get really ill, they\u2019re completely out of control.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFood is in charge, their thoughts about food, their thinking about food.\u00a0 But it really is sort of a working out, I think, of anxiety and depression and a hypervigilance to be in charge of something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you were feeding your kids when they were growing up, what kind of food rules did you have at the Meeker house and what about soda pop?\u00a0 Was soda allowed at the house?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t do soda pop, because I just think it\u2019s terrible, you know, for your teeth.\u00a0 Now I like diet soda, but I did have to give it up for a number of years when my kids were young because they wanted what I was having and I thought, \u201cWell, I can\u2019t really do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had the \u201cOne\u201d rule in our house.\u00a0 You got one serving of everything.\u00a0 I usually put\u00a0 --I was very boring -- three things on their plates.\u00a0 I put a vegetable, a starch, and a meat.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t cook different meals for every child.\u00a0 See, that\u2019s that happiness issue again.\u00a0 Many parents \u2013 many mothers \u2013 feel that they need to accommodate their kids\u2019 eating desires.\u00a0 That\u2019s not good for the child.\u00a0 It\u2019s really unhealthy for the child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They turn into a short-order cook, don\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 They do.\u00a0 And I would say the <em>majority<\/em> of mothers that I see are short-order cooks.\u00a0 Because if you have four kids and they\u2019re ten, twelve, fourteen, and sixteen, the chances that all four like the same foods are pretty slim.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s important that they learn to eat the same thing that everybody else is eating because they\u2019re a family unit \u2013 they\u2019re not individuals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright, let\u2019s say you have a child who just says, \u201cI do not like macaroni and cheese,\u201d no matter how you serve it; no matter how you dish it up.\u00a0 It\u2019s a part of what you\u2019re serving.\u00a0 As a mom, what are you going to say when it comes time for dinner and macaroni and cheese is on the menu?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well it goes on their plate.\u00a0 When they\u2019re young \u2013 and I mean four, five, six, seven, and eight \u2013 they have to take a bite.\u00a0 They have to try to train themselves to like it.\u00a0 By the time they\u2019re ten, and they\u2019re still putting their heels in the ground and saying, \u201cI don\u2019t like mac and cheese,\u201d they don\u2019t have to eat it.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to go on their plate.\u00a0 But they\u2019re served what they\u2019re served.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf they go to bed hungry, they\u2019ll get breakfast the next day.\u00a0 Now that sounds so . . . \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you hear a comment like that, there are mothers out there who are going to want to call Child Protective on me.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \u201cShe let her child go to bed hungry!\u201d\u00a0 But kids aren\u2019t going to starve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, they\u2019re not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019re not going to starve.\u00a0 We have, as moms - and I want every mother to hear this \u2013 we have the right to be in charge.\u00a0 See, we feel that we don\u2019t have that right; that kids have the right to eat what they want.\u00a0 Well, who gave them that right?\u00a0 We\u2019re in charge of what they eat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there\u2019s another very important dynamic at play here that we can\u2019t overlook, and that is that kids need to understand that they\u2019re part of a family.\u00a0 They don\u2019t live as individuals under the same roof with a bunch of other people, but they fit as part of a family.\u00a0 There are things and behaviors and eating patterns that the family has that they need to learn to live with.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that kids who don\u2019t have a sense of that really aren\u2019t well-grounded.\u00a0 I see a lot of kids -- and this doesn\u2019t have to do with eating \u2013 but it has to do with the sense that they\u00a0 don\u2019t feel they\u2019re needed in the family unit.\u00a0 They don\u2019t have chores; mom and dad don\u2019t need them.\u00a0 Mom and dad\u2019s job is to get them to the right school, to get them to soccer practice on time, to get them to eat what they want, to take them to McDonald\u2019s.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s not mom and dad\u2019s job.\u00a0 There is a family dynamic that should be in working order.\u00a0 The child, even if they\u2019re eighteen, needs to feel that they are needed in that order; they have a spot and a place there.\u00a0 That gives that child a sense of value.\u00a0 So it\u2019s emotionally good for kids to sit down and to look at the family meal, all the same food on the plates, and go, \u201cI don\u2019t like mac and cheese. I\u2019m not going to eat it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOh well, eat your broccoli and your salad and you can have breakfast in the morning.\u201d\u00a0 It goes deeper than just the food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you think about using food as a reward?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t advocate that at all because we do it too much.\u00a0 That sets a child up for really emotional eating.\u00a0 \u201cIf you\u2019re feeling down, the way to feel better is to eat a chocolate bar.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t think that\u2019s healthy.\u00a0 There should be other rewards.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Meg, what about -- It seems like food allergies are just on the increase. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Like gluten-intolerance \u2013 You\u2019re hearing more about it than I ever remember hearing about when I was growing up.\u00a0 What\u2019s going on there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, allergies in general are going up \u2013 seasonal allergies, allergies to different pollens and molds.\u00a0 I think that we\u2019re diagnosing it more.\u00a0 One of the studies I read, very interestingly, said that allergies are going up because kids aren\u2019t exposed to as much when they\u2019re young, and so they\u2019re not building proper immunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do think that sometimes if we don\u2019t know what something is, we either call it viral or it\u2019s an allergy.\u00a0 It\u2019s sort of a wastebasket term, if you will.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I think the reason that you\u2019re having these pains is because you\u2019re allergic to something.\u00a0 You\u2019re allergic to food.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hear parents complain a lot about their kids being allergic to milk or allergic to this.\u00a0 Well, a true allergy to milk is pretty rare.\u00a0 There\u2019s an intolerance people have \u2013 an intolerance that their bodies may have to certain things, but true allergies are over-diagnosed, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So a lactose intolerance may be a legitimate deal?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly, exactly.\u00a0 But it\u2019s not an allergy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 Let me just ask you about \u2013 we started talking about hot dogs.\u00a0 Let me just ask you about peanut butter.\u00a0 Did you feed Peter Pan or Jif, or did you go get the good all-natural, only-peanut peanut butter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I fed Peter Pan and Jif.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 With the Crisco mixed in with the peanuts!?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did, I did.\u00a0 My kids loved it, but. . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, Bob \u2013 there\u2019s not Crisco in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you think\u2019s in there?\u00a0 What do you think is in there with those peanuts?\u00a0 It\u2019s Crisco, okay?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what, I made homemade jam.\u00a0 So I put the homemade jam on it, which probably has a lot more sugar than the store-bought jam.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s how I balanced it, see.\u00a0 I made myself feel better.\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 Because you don\u2019t want to get nutty about anything.\u00a0 Again, whether you use Jif peanut butter or whether you get the really, really good stuff \u2013 I think if the kids like Jif rather than the really good stuff, you pick your battles and just a little bit of everything is fine for kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what about the kid who digs his heels in and refuses to eat, speaking of a battle line, and they refuse to eat their meal?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you let some of your kids go hungry at dinner where they didn\u2019t eat anything?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did, I did.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t happen very often because my kids are good eaters, but I did.\u00a0 There were times when they didn\u2019t eat, but there were just probably a handful of times when I said, \u201cOK, that\u2019s it.\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to get dessert,\u201d or whatever.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have dessert every night, but, you know, \u201cYou\u2019ll get breakfast in the morning.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about toddlers, when they spit their food out and that type of thing?\u00a0 I mean, that drives moms crazy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 A healthy toddler \u2013 a healthy two- or even three-year-old \u2013 if you\u2019re lucky, will eat one good meal a day and forego the rest.\u00a0 That drives mothers crazy.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s because we feel like we\u2019re not being good moms if we don\u2019t feed them three square meals a day and get them to eat.\u00a0 So I tell them, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 They\u2019re young; they don\u2019t need that many calories.\u00a0 If a child is going to spit out the food, just don\u2019t give it to him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What if he pushes it \u2013 looks you in the eye out of the corner of his eye and then starts pushing the peas over the edge and they\u2019re cascading over the edge onto the floor?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would start to laugh.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I mean really, life can be fun with peas on the floor.\u00a0 You never want to have battles over food because kids will pick up on that and they will start to manipulate the heck out of their parents as they get older -- not a two or a three year-old, though I guess two and three year-olds can sort of be manipulative, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, but food should really be very low down on the things that kids think about during the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you did take your kids out for ice cream on occasion at least, didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, absolutely!\u00a0 And I love to bake, and so I baked things.\u00a0 Usually two or three nights a week we\u2019 have dessert.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And dessert\u2019s OK that often?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dessert\u2019s OK.\u00a0 My kids never ate tofu.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t one of those moms; I just couldn\u2019t do that.\u00a0 We had pot roast and mashed potatoes and the whole nine yards, but we had the one rule:\u00a0 one serving of everything.\u00a0 And I chose the serving size \u2013 one plate and that was it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had active kids, too, didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very active!\u00a0 That\u2019s another thing:\u00a0 kids have to move.\u00a0 We have a generation of indoor kids, which is kind of sad.\u00a0 I firmly believe, particularly with boys, they have to be outside; they have to move - I just say \u201cmove their body.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t care what they do but they have to move.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know you believe a lot in the family mealtime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What was your primary objective in having a family time around dinner?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just to be together.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t get in arguments and we couldn\u2019t get in fights.\u00a0 If I could see one building we had to sort of table that until later, but it really was supposed to be a very enjoyable, fun time together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will honestly say it still is.\u00a0 When our kids come and visit us at home, we will sit for two hours around the breakfast table and talk about things, talk about everything.\u00a0 We problem solve now as adults.\u00a0 So it\u2019s a way of establishing healthy relationships, healthy communication.\u00a0 It\u2019s a way to do it in a warm environment because most kids like food and they like what\u2019s in front of them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel it\u2019s very important.\u00a0 Even if kids were busy or they had eaten, say, I would say, \u201cOK, but you sit with us.\u00a0 You sit with us for ten or fifteen minutes because this is what we do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When we had our family time, we averaged one spill per meal \u2013 sometimes two or three; some of them shot all the way across the table, you know, and nailed another kid.\u00a0 It was astounding how chaotic our dinner time could be.\u00a0 I always wanted to hook up some kind of measuring device of what the level of decibels were as all eight of us ate.\u00a0 It was the noisiest time \u2013 talking, chatter, all the conversations occurring.\u00a0 That really is rare, I think, in a lot of families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve said a lot of very good things as we\u2019ve talked today on the broadcast but none better than calling people back to get a proper perspective of food, build some boundaries around it, how it\u2019s going to be treated in your family, like anything else that\u2019s available, and then establish some family times where you don\u2019t just make food; you make memories and you make friends and you make relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you said you should put a lot of pickle relish on the hot dog?\u00a0 Is that what I heard you say?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And a <em>bunch <\/em>of mustard!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean the best hot dog is that big old foot-long hot dog coming out of the end of the bun . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can barely taste the dog for all of the mustard and relish?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh yeah, you\u2019ve got to have mustard!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we ought to run a straw poll:\u00a0 what do you like on your hot dog?\u00a0 Mustard, pickle relish, or ketchup?\u00a0 I know some are going to write in and they\u2019re going to say, \u201cmayonnaise.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chili cheese.\u00a0 It\u2019s a chili cheese dog for me!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chili?\u00a0 Chili cheese?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s got to be a chili cheese dog.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way to go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we have really pressed our friend Dr. Meeker out of her comfort zone \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttoday by . . . well, I guess she was comfortable with this, but you\u2019ve never written on this particular subject.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But I do want to encourage our listeners:\u00a0 Meg Meeker has written a number of books including <em>Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters; Boys Should be Boys; <\/em>and <em>The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers.<\/em>\u00a0 We\u2019ve got all of her books in our <em>FamilyLife<\/em><em>Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the books by Dr. Meg Meeker.\u00a0 Our website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also get more information or order from us by calling 1-800-FLTODAY; 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Ask about the books by Dr. Meg Meeker when you get in touch with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to say a big word of thanks to those folks who help support the ministry of\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>those of you who, from time to time, get in touch with us to make a donation to help cover the cost for producing and syndicating this daily radio program.\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for that support.\u00a0 In fact, without you guys, this program could not continue.\u00a0 Your partnership is essential for all that we do here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you\u2019re able to help with a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>we\u2019d like to say \u201cthank you\u201d by sending you a CD of a conversation that we had not long ago with Dr. Leslie Vernick.\u00a0 She\u2019s a counselor and an author.\u00a0 We talked about relationships, particularly family or extended-family relationships that become emotionally destructive.\u00a0 What do you do?\u00a0 How do you handle those relationships?\u00a0 How do you pursue peace?\u00a0 How do you protect yourself when you need to?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to send you a copy of that CD as our way of saying thank you for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> when you make a donation this week.\u00a0 You can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Just click on the button that says, I CARE.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY to make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 Just mention that you\u2019d like a copy of the CD on emotionally destructive relationships.\u00a0 We\u2019re happy to send it as our way of saying thank you for your support for the ministry of <em>FamilyLifeToday.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019d encourage you to join us back here again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about those times in life when you have to make a fresh start; when you have to begin again and maybe even believe again.\u00a0 Sharon Hersh joins us tomorrow to talk about her own journey and about the power of a fresh start.\u00a0 That comes tomorrow; I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.62M"],"filesize_raw":["24772144"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302584.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302584.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 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of your kids scrunching their noses at the family dinner table?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-09-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is there a dietary double-standard at your house?\u00a0 Here is physician, Dr. Meg Meeker:\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it\u2019s very important for kids to eat what their parents eat.\u00a0 Don\u2019t make your kids eat one way and you eat another way.\u00a0 In other words, if you have a child who\u2019s getting chubby or is obese, don\u2019t put the child on the diet and then you sit up and watch the football game in the evening with a bowl of chips and a coke next to you.\u00a0 That\u2019s not fair.\u00a0 Everybody eats the same so you have family eating patterns.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, September 4th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk not only about family eating patterns today.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about health food, who\u2019s in charge at your house, and who ought to be in charge.\u00a0 Dr. Meg Meeker joins us.\u00a0 I hope you\u2019ll stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious; do you like a good hot dog, if somebody serves you a really nice, meaty hot dog?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember my last hot dog.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Where was it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was back last fall in the first game of the World Series that the Cardinals were in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you were at the ballpark for Game One.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Game One; and I thought, \u201cYou know what, it is totally filled with nitrates; it is probably filled with nuclear combustible material. . . \u201c(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of those ballpark dogs.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you know what?\u00a0 It\u2019s baseball and hot dogs with lots of pickle relish and mustard and I\u2019m salivating even as I think about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How about Barbara?\u00a0 Does she like a good hotdog?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She does, but she doesn\u2019t break discipline like I would.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe would go to the ball park and eat peanuts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s my question:\u00a0 do you think if parents are feeding their kids hot dogs today they should be arrested?\u00a0 Are they negligent?\u00a0 Should they be taken into police custody?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 Let\u2019s ask our resident pediatrician. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think we should.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She has been a pediatrician and has practiced adolescent medicine for more than 25 years.\u00a0 She\u2019s the author of more than five books, including the best-selling books <em>Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters; Boys Should Be Boys <\/em>and <em>Your Kids at Risk.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDr. Meg Meeker joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 What do you think, Meg?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s delightful to be with you and are you asking me what I think about hot dogs?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Should they be arrested?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you put kids at risk when you feed them. . .?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019re a doctor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think\u00a0 if they get arrested . . . \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not talking about tofu dogs here, either.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about the <em>real <\/em>thing, you know, with all kinds of animal parts in them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think if we advocate\u00a0 parents being arrested for feeding their kids hot dogs, then we need to have Dennis arrested because he just ate a hot dog a year ago.\u00a0 Right?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s tongue in cheek, but you\u2019re talking to a lot of moms and a lot of dads.\u00a0 I know this sounds tongue in cheek.\u00a0 They really do want their kids to grow up and be healthy.\u00a0 You\u2019re a pediatrician.\u00a0 Do you see parents going overboard in this area?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, absolutely.\u00a0 And I\u2019m going to say something that I didn\u2019t know early on in my practice \u2013 I learned probably after about ten years of practicing:\u00a0 feeding kids is an extraordinarily emotional issue for mothers.\u00a0 It pushes a lot of buttons in a mother.\u00a0 Some of the most stressed mothers I see are those of children who are failing to thrive, they\u2019re not gaining weight.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of the most stressed mothers I see are of girls who are thin and heading toward eating disorders when they\u2019re older; but also mothers whose kids are overweight and they are struggling with their weight.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s why I believe it\u2019s so stressful for mothers:\u00a0 because there\u2019s a primal instinct that moms have that if we can\u2019t even feed our kids right, then we\u2019re really bad moms.\u00a0 We measure how well we\u2019re feeding them and giving them proper nutrition by their weight.\u00a0 So, if they\u2019re not gaining weight or they\u2019re overweight, it\u2019s our fault.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, that\u2019s not true.\u00a0 But, second of all, it\u2019s an enormous issue now because kids are marketed so much food all of the time, and they\u2019re spending so much time looking at media --upwards of six or seven hours per day with some form of media -- and you know there are advertisements.\u00a0 The advertisements mostly, or very often, involve food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur kids are being barraged with all of this food and, as a mother, it really is frightening.\u00a0 \u201cHow do I guard my child against wanting to eat Cheetos and hot dogs and Slurpees all day long?\u201d\u00a0 They constantly will come in and ask my advice as to how to help them navigate this.\u00a0 So, I spend a lot of time with this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you see a lot of childhood obesity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s on the increase in our culture.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do, I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So there are moms looking around thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re not doing Lucky Charms at our house because that\u2019s just going to lead my kids to grow up and be obese.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right; absolutely.\u00a0 There are a couple of tips I like to give moms.\u00a0 And I really do think they work because I\u2019ve been at this awhile.\u00a0 The first one is, try not to make it an emotional issue; try to attack it just like any issue in your house.\u00a0 The way you eat is just part of your home life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s very important for kids to eat what their parents eat.\u00a0 Don\u2019t make your kids eat one way and you eat another way.\u00a0 In other words, if you have a child who\u2019s getting chubby or is obese, don\u2019t put the child on the diet and then you sit up and watch the football game in the evening with a bowl of chips and a coke next to you.\u00a0 That\u2019s not fair.\u00a0 Everybody eats the same so you have family eating patterns.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMom is in charge or dad is in charge of what those meals consist of.\u00a0 That\u2019s your right and that\u2019s the way it is.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even care if the child is sixteen years old.\u00a0 You own everything in the home . . . (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t. . . including the food and the refrigerator and the contents, and the car or cars in the garage.\u00a0 You know, I made no bones about that with my kids.\u00a0 My son, when he went off to college when he was eighteen, said, \u201cWell Mom, you can no longer own me.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cNo, but I own most of the stuff you have!\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, did your kids have Lucky Charms?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is what I did.\u00a0 Our kids didn\u2019t want Lucky Charms, but all kids want junk cereal, so here\u2019s how I got around that.\u00a0 I would pour them a bowl of Cheerios or Raisin Bran and I would put a handful of junk cereal on top of it.\u00a0 That\u2019s how I got around that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn other words, all kids are going to want some kind of junk food, so let them have little bits here and there but it\u2019s not their primary source of nutrition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And fast food eating?\u00a0 I mean, that\u2019s a big part of the issue these days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 You know, once every couple of weeks \u2013 once or twice a month.\u00a0 That\u2019s it.\u00a0 But their primary source of nutrition must come from really good meats and vegetables and fruits that are served in the home \u2013 and I say in the home because even a five year-old, if they\u2019re outside your home and they\u2019re eating, you have no control over what they\u2019re eating at all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I think it\u2019s important for parents to <em>pack <\/em>their kids\u2019 school lunches because normal, healthy kids are always going to opt for fries and a burger over a salad.\u00a0 I\u2019ve even had one little boy who came in and said, \u201cNo, my mom lets me eat school lunches and I have salad every day.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, what do you put on your salad?\u201d\u00a0 He kind of looked at me and he said, \u201cWell, on my salad I have croutons and ranch dressing.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what his salad was.\u00a0 No lettuce, no veggies or anything!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have no control.\u00a0 So pack your kids\u2019 lunches.\u00a0 Be in charge of all the meals.\u00a0 Have mealtimes.\u00a0 One of the things that goes back, I think, to this thing that we were talking about in an earlier program, is that moms feel that their kids need to be happy all the time.\u00a0 They allow their kids to graze and eat whenever they want.\u00a0 I think this is ridiculous.\u00a0 You know, the kitchen is open three times a day and that\u2019s it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s sort of an indulgence. \u201cWhen my child\u2019s hungry, I want him to be happy.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Well, keep a bowl of fruit out all of the time.\u00a0 Don\u2019t hesitate being pretty strict about food rules.\u00a0 I think mothers are very hesitant to be strict because it feels like a complicated issue.\u00a0 They overthink it.\u00a0 If I restrict what my child eats, then they\u2019re going to develop an eating disorder.\u00a0 If I talk to them, then they\u2019re going to become. . . So we over think it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tServing of food and handling of food should be just like anything else in the home.\u00a0 It should have an order to it and mom and dad are in charge of that order.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You think that a lot of moms are obsessed with the happiness of their kids and it seems to me that food really plays into this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very much so.\u00a0 Very typically, the reward for many of the kids coming into my office, after they get shots, is to go get a \u201cHappy Meal.\u201d\u00a0 They want their child to have a reward and to be happy.\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s just sort of the American way.\u00a0 Mothers are so much wanting their kids to feel happy and content.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the child wants to go through the drive-through three or four nights a week, well that\u2019s what I\u2019m going to let him do because I don\u2019t want to be a mean mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to scar my child; my child needs to be happy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If a child is a husky child and a mom or a dad is starting to be concerned because the rest of the family is kind of average height and weight and this child is starting to look a little heavier, what should that mom or dad do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, again, the whole family needs to eat like the husky child needs to eat, which is probably calorie restriction.\u00a0 Believe it or not, I have some dads who just don\u2019t like to do that.\u00a0 \u201cBut I like my Doritos and I like my Haagen Dazs; I like this.\u201d\u00a0 I say, \u201cWell, if you need to get it then get in the car and go to the 7-11 at 11 o\u2019clock at night.\u00a0 But don\u2019t bring stuff into the house.\u201d\u00a0 Dads don\u2019t like me very much sometimes. (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut, you know, again you can\u2019t just put the child on the spot.\u00a0 It\u2019s a family issue.\u00a0 The whole family has to eat that way, because a child will never succeed if you do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Speak to the issue of eating disorders.\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting we even categorize them as \u201ceating\u201d disorders.\u00a0 Is it really about the food?\u00a0 What is it actually about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It\u2019s really usually not about the food.\u00a0 I would say even if it\u2019s an eating disorder where you\u2019ve got obesity involved, because I think a lot of the same dynamics are at play there.\u00a0 Typically in eating disorders, we have usually a girl, though I\u2019ve had two boys in my practice who had eating disorders, who are hyper vigilant about their behaviors.\u00a0 They\u2019re hyper disciplined; they\u2019re obsessive \u2013 almost obsessive-compulsive \u2013 about perfection and getting things right; and it\u2019s really a control.\u00a0 They need to be in charge all of the time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost are depressed.\u00a0 Most are very anxious.\u00a0 Most have very poor self-esteem; a very low sense of \u201cwho I am.\u201d\u00a0 Eating disorders are kind of like the perfect storm.\u00a0\u00a0 A lot of things \u2013 a lot of factors \u2013 are coming together and erupting all at once.\u00a0 Primarily, it\u2019s an issue where kids want control but, ironically, by the time they get really ill, they\u2019re completely out of control.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFood is in charge, their thoughts about food, their thinking about food.\u00a0 But it really is sort of a working out, I think, of anxiety and depression and a hypervigilance to be in charge of something.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you were feeding your kids when they were growing up, what kind of food rules did you have at the Meeker house and what about soda pop?\u00a0 Was soda allowed at the house?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t do soda pop, because I just think it\u2019s terrible, you know, for your teeth.\u00a0 Now I like diet soda, but I did have to give it up for a number of years when my kids were young because they wanted what I was having and I thought, \u201cWell, I can\u2019t really do that.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had the \u201cOne\u201d rule in our house.\u00a0 You got one serving of everything.\u00a0 I usually put\u00a0 --I was very boring -- three things on their plates.\u00a0 I put a vegetable, a starch, and a meat.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t cook different meals for every child.\u00a0 See, that\u2019s that happiness issue again.\u00a0 Many parents \u2013 many mothers \u2013 feel that they need to accommodate their kids\u2019 eating desires.\u00a0 That\u2019s not good for the child.\u00a0 It\u2019s really unhealthy for the child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They turn into a short-order cook, don\u2019t they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 They do.\u00a0 And I would say the <em>majority<\/em> of mothers that I see are short-order cooks.\u00a0 Because if you have four kids and they\u2019re ten, twelve, fourteen, and sixteen, the chances that all four like the same foods are pretty slim.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s important that they learn to eat the same thing that everybody else is eating because they\u2019re a family unit \u2013 they\u2019re not individuals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright, let\u2019s say you have a child who just says, \u201cI do not like macaroni and cheese,\u201d no matter how you serve it; no matter how you dish it up.\u00a0 It\u2019s a part of what you\u2019re serving.\u00a0 As a mom, what are you going to say when it comes time for dinner and macaroni and cheese is on the menu?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well it goes on their plate.\u00a0 When they\u2019re young \u2013 and I mean four, five, six, seven, and eight \u2013 they have to take a bite.\u00a0 They have to try to train themselves to like it.\u00a0 By the time they\u2019re ten, and they\u2019re still putting their heels in the ground and saying, \u201cI don\u2019t like mac and cheese,\u201d they don\u2019t have to eat it.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to go on their plate.\u00a0 But they\u2019re served what they\u2019re served.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf they go to bed hungry, they\u2019ll get breakfast the next day.\u00a0 Now that sounds so . . . \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you hear a comment like that, there are mothers out there who are going to want to call Child Protective on me.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \u201cShe let her child go to bed hungry!\u201d\u00a0 But kids aren\u2019t going to starve.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, they\u2019re not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019re not going to starve.\u00a0 We have, as moms - and I want every mother to hear this \u2013 we have the right to be in charge.\u00a0 See, we feel that we don\u2019t have that right; that kids have the right to eat what they want.\u00a0 Well, who gave them that right?\u00a0 We\u2019re in charge of what they eat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there\u2019s another very important dynamic at play here that we can\u2019t overlook, and that is that kids need to understand that they\u2019re part of a family.\u00a0 They don\u2019t live as individuals under the same roof with a bunch of other people, but they fit as part of a family.\u00a0 There are things and behaviors and eating patterns that the family has that they need to learn to live with.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that kids who don\u2019t have a sense of that really aren\u2019t well-grounded.\u00a0 I see a lot of kids -- and this doesn\u2019t have to do with eating \u2013 but it has to do with the sense that they\u00a0 don\u2019t feel they\u2019re needed in the family unit.\u00a0 They don\u2019t have chores; mom and dad don\u2019t need them.\u00a0 Mom and dad\u2019s job is to get them to the right school, to get them to soccer practice on time, to get them to eat what they want, to take them to McDonald\u2019s.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s not mom and dad\u2019s job.\u00a0 There is a family dynamic that should be in working order.\u00a0 The child, even if they\u2019re eighteen, needs to feel that they are needed in that order; they have a spot and a place there.\u00a0 That gives that child a sense of value.\u00a0 So it\u2019s emotionally good for kids to sit down and to look at the family meal, all the same food on the plates, and go, \u201cI don\u2019t like mac and cheese. I\u2019m not going to eat it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cOh well, eat your broccoli and your salad and you can have breakfast in the morning.\u201d\u00a0 It goes deeper than just the food.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you think about using food as a reward?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t advocate that at all because we do it too much.\u00a0 That sets a child up for really emotional eating.\u00a0 \u201cIf you\u2019re feeling down, the way to feel better is to eat a chocolate bar.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t think that\u2019s healthy.\u00a0 There should be other rewards.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Meg, what about -- It seems like food allergies are just on the increase. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Like gluten-intolerance \u2013 You\u2019re hearing more about it than I ever remember hearing about when I was growing up.\u00a0 What\u2019s going on there?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, allergies in general are going up \u2013 seasonal allergies, allergies to different pollens and molds.\u00a0 I think that we\u2019re diagnosing it more.\u00a0 One of the studies I read, very interestingly, said that allergies are going up because kids aren\u2019t exposed to as much when they\u2019re young, and so they\u2019re not building proper immunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI do think that sometimes if we don\u2019t know what something is, we either call it viral or it\u2019s an allergy.\u00a0 It\u2019s sort of a wastebasket term, if you will.\u00a0 \u201cWell, I think the reason that you\u2019re having these pains is because you\u2019re allergic to something.\u00a0 You\u2019re allergic to food.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI hear parents complain a lot about their kids being allergic to milk or allergic to this.\u00a0 Well, a true allergy to milk is pretty rare.\u00a0 There\u2019s an intolerance people have \u2013 an intolerance that their bodies may have to certain things, but true allergies are over-diagnosed, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So a lactose intolerance may be a legitimate deal?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly, exactly.\u00a0 But it\u2019s not an allergy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 OK.\u00a0 Let me just ask you about \u2013 we started talking about hot dogs.\u00a0 Let me just ask you about peanut butter.\u00a0 Did you feed Peter Pan or Jif, or did you go get the good all-natural, only-peanut peanut butter?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I fed Peter Pan and Jif.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 With the Crisco mixed in with the peanuts!?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did, I did.\u00a0 My kids loved it, but. . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, Bob \u2013 there\u2019s not Crisco in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you think\u2019s in there?\u00a0 What do you think is in there with those peanuts?\u00a0 It\u2019s Crisco, okay?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what, I made homemade jam.\u00a0 So I put the homemade jam on it, which probably has a lot more sugar than the store-bought jam.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut that\u2019s how I balanced it, see.\u00a0 I made myself feel better.\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 Because you don\u2019t want to get nutty about anything.\u00a0 Again, whether you use Jif peanut butter or whether you get the really, really good stuff \u2013 I think if the kids like Jif rather than the really good stuff, you pick your battles and just a little bit of everything is fine for kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what about the kid who digs his heels in and refuses to eat, speaking of a battle line, and they refuse to eat their meal?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you let some of your kids go hungry at dinner where they didn\u2019t eat anything?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did, I did.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t happen very often because my kids are good eaters, but I did.\u00a0 There were times when they didn\u2019t eat, but there were just probably a handful of times when I said, \u201cOK, that\u2019s it.\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to get dessert,\u201d or whatever.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have dessert every night, but, you know, \u201cYou\u2019ll get breakfast in the morning.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about toddlers, when they spit their food out and that type of thing?\u00a0 I mean, that drives moms crazy!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 A healthy toddler \u2013 a healthy two- or even three-year-old \u2013 if you\u2019re lucky, will eat one good meal a day and forego the rest.\u00a0 That drives mothers crazy.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s because we feel like we\u2019re not being good moms if we don\u2019t feed them three square meals a day and get them to eat.\u00a0 So I tell them, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 They\u2019re young; they don\u2019t need that many calories.\u00a0 If a child is going to spit out the food, just don\u2019t give it to him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What if he pushes it \u2013 looks you in the eye out of the corner of his eye and then starts pushing the peas over the edge and they\u2019re cascading over the edge onto the floor?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would start to laugh.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I mean really, life can be fun with peas on the floor.\u00a0 You never want to have battles over food because kids will pick up on that and they will start to manipulate the heck out of their parents as they get older -- not a two or a three year-old, though I guess two and three year-olds can sort of be manipulative, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, but food should really be very low down on the things that kids think about during the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you did take your kids out for ice cream on occasion at least, didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, absolutely!\u00a0 And I love to bake, and so I baked things.\u00a0 Usually two or three nights a week we\u2019 have dessert.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And dessert\u2019s OK that often?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dessert\u2019s OK.\u00a0 My kids never ate tofu.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t one of those moms; I just couldn\u2019t do that.\u00a0 We had pot roast and mashed potatoes and the whole nine yards, but we had the one rule:\u00a0 one serving of everything.\u00a0 And I chose the serving size \u2013 one plate and that was it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had active kids, too, didn\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very active!\u00a0 That\u2019s another thing:\u00a0 kids have to move.\u00a0 We have a generation of indoor kids, which is kind of sad.\u00a0 I firmly believe, particularly with boys, they have to be outside; they have to move - I just say \u201cmove their body.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t care what they do but they have to move.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know you believe a lot in the family mealtime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What was your primary objective in having a family time around dinner?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just to be together.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t get in arguments and we couldn\u2019t get in fights.\u00a0 If I could see one building we had to sort of table that until later, but it really was supposed to be a very enjoyable, fun time together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will honestly say it still is.\u00a0 When our kids come and visit us at home, we will sit for two hours around the breakfast table and talk about things, talk about everything.\u00a0 We problem solve now as adults.\u00a0 So it\u2019s a way of establishing healthy relationships, healthy communication.\u00a0 It\u2019s a way to do it in a warm environment because most kids like food and they like what\u2019s in front of them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI feel it\u2019s very important.\u00a0 Even if kids were busy or they had eaten, say, I would say, \u201cOK, but you sit with us.\u00a0 You sit with us for ten or fifteen minutes because this is what we do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When we had our family time, we averaged one spill per meal \u2013 sometimes two or three; some of them shot all the way across the table, you know, and nailed another kid.\u00a0 It was astounding how chaotic our dinner time could be.\u00a0 I always wanted to hook up some kind of measuring device of what the level of decibels were as all eight of us ate.\u00a0 It was the noisiest time \u2013 talking, chatter, all the conversations occurring.\u00a0 That really is rare, I think, in a lot of families.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve said a lot of very good things as we\u2019ve talked today on the broadcast but none better than calling people back to get a proper perspective of food, build some boundaries around it, how it\u2019s going to be treated in your family, like anything else that\u2019s available, and then establish some family times where you don\u2019t just make food; you make memories and you make friends and you make relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you said you should put a lot of pickle relish on the hot dog?\u00a0 Is that what I heard you say?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And a <em>bunch <\/em>of mustard!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean the best hot dog is that big old foot-long hot dog coming out of the end of the bun . . .\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can barely taste the dog for all of the mustard and relish?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh yeah, you\u2019ve got to have mustard!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we ought to run a straw poll:\u00a0 what do you like on your hot dog?\u00a0 Mustard, pickle relish, or ketchup?\u00a0 I know some are going to write in and they\u2019re going to say, \u201cmayonnaise.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chili cheese.\u00a0 It\u2019s a chili cheese dog for me!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chili?\u00a0 Chili cheese?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s got to be a chili cheese dog.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way to go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, we have really pressed our friend Dr. Meeker out of her comfort zone \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\ttoday by . . . well, I guess she was comfortable with this, but you\u2019ve never written on this particular subject.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Meg:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But I do want to encourage our listeners:\u00a0 Meg Meeker has written a number of books including <em>Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters; Boys Should be Boys; <\/em>and <em>The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers.<\/em>\u00a0 We\u2019ve got all of her books in our <em>FamilyLife<\/em><em>Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the books by Dr. Meg Meeker.\u00a0 Our website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can also get more information or order from us by calling 1-800-FLTODAY; 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 Ask about the books by Dr. Meg Meeker when you get in touch with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to say a big word of thanks to those folks who help support the ministry of\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>those of you who, from time to time, get in touch with us to make a donation to help cover the cost for producing and syndicating this daily radio program.\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for that support.\u00a0 In fact, without you guys, this program could not continue.\u00a0 Your partnership is essential for all that we do here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you\u2019re able to help with a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>we\u2019d like to say \u201cthank you\u201d by sending you a CD of a conversation that we had not long ago with Dr. Leslie Vernick.\u00a0 She\u2019s a counselor and an author.\u00a0 We talked about relationships, particularly family or extended-family relationships that become emotionally destructive.\u00a0 What do you do?\u00a0 How do you handle those relationships?\u00a0 How do you pursue peace?\u00a0 How do you protect yourself when you need to?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d love to send you a copy of that CD as our way of saying thank you for your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> when you make a donation this week.\u00a0 You can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Just click on the button that says, I CARE.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY to make your donation over the phone.\u00a0 Just mention that you\u2019d like a copy of the CD on emotionally destructive relationships.\u00a0 We\u2019re happy to send it as our way of saying thank you for your support for the ministry of <em>FamilyLifeToday.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we\u2019d encourage you to join us back here again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about those times in life when you have to make a fresh start; when you have to begin again and maybe even believe again.\u00a0 Sharon Hersh joins us tomorrow to talk about her own journey and about the power of a fresh start.\u00a0 That comes tomorrow; I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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