{"id":302580,"date":"2012-08-24T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-24T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/youre-more-than-just-a-mom\/"},"modified":"2012-08-24T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-24T15:00:00","slug":"youre-more-than-just-a-mom","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/youre-more-than-just-a-mom\/","title":{"rendered":"You&#8217;re More Than Just a Mom"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mom, has cleaning, cooking and changing diapers all day lost its luster?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-24.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.32M","filesize_raw":"24451020","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2833,2838],"tags":[4276,4621],"podcast_series":[7895],"cwp_profile":[3063],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302580","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-godly-legacy","category-mothers","tag-legacy","tag-stay-at-home-mom","podcast_series-be-the-mom","cwp_profile-tracey-eyster","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302580\/youre-more-than-just-a-mom","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302580\/youre-more-than-just-a-mom","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ux2yN4cWvb\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/youre-more-than-just-a-mom\/\">You&#8217;re More Than Just a Mom<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/youre-more-than-just-a-mom\/embed\/#?secret=ux2yN4cWvb\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;You&#8217;re More Than Just a Mom&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ux2yN4cWvb\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-24.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-24.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you\u2019re a mom, do you ever feel less than when people ask you, \u201cSo, what do you do?\u201d\u00a0 Here is author, Tracey Eyster.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 The world tells us that being a mom is an interruption to what you\u2019re really supposed to be.\u00a0 It\u2019s sort of something that gets in the way of what even God really wants you to be someday.\u00a0 I think that being a mom molds you into what God wants you to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 24<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Is it possible that you have fallen into a mom trap?\u00a0 Author, Tracey Eyster, joins us today to talk about what some of those traps are.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We have a tradition in our family.\u00a0 On a child\u2019s birthday, one of the things we do is we recount the details of the day that child was born.\u00a0 The reason we do this is because after our kids had celebrated a number of birthdays, they started asking questions about the day they were born.\u00a0 Mary Ann and I found ourselves not remembering the details.\u00a0 So, it was as much for us as it was for them, just to rehearse, at least once a year, the details of the day a child was born.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy son, John, just turned 21.\u00a0 At his birthday celebration, he prompted.\u00a0 He said, \u201cOkay, Dad, let\u2019s go through it again.\u00a0 Let\u2019s have the details.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 It\u2019s something\u2014and he knows all of the stories and knows about the chocolate ice cream soda that Mary Ann had that afternoon that helped start labor for her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s a great tradition.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, it\u2019s a fun tradition.\u00a0 We turned it into birthday trivia later on, to where I would ask questions of the kids:\u00a0 \u201cWhat was the name of your mom\u2019s obstetrician?\u201d and, \u201cWhat was the name of the hospital where you were born?\u201d\u00a0 They would get prizes, depending on how well they did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, I\u2019ve seen you play Trivial Pursuit<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure about growing up in your family, having to play these games and recall all that stuff.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we have someone with us\u2014a special person\u2014Tracey Eyster, who works here at FamilyLife, as a volunteer.\u00a0 She is the creative editor and designer of <em>MomLife Today\u2122<\/em>, a blog that seeks to minister to moms and have an impact in their lives.\u00a0 She\u2019s recently completed a book called <em>Be the Mom: Overcoming Attitude Traps and Enjoying Your Kids<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We shared earlier, Tracey, how you and your husband Bill struggled over infertility and how God finally answered your prayers.\u00a0 You had a little girl by the name of Samara.\u00a0 I love what you write about in the book because you talk about the joy of becoming a mom.\u00a0 Then, you talk about fast-forwarding 16 years, when that little girl is now a teenager.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, there are several instances; but that particular one, she had turned 16.\u00a0 She had the car keys; she was out.\u00a0 I knew where she was, I knew who she was with, I knew what she was doing; but she was supposed to be home by 10:00.\u00a0 It was 10:03, and she wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0 My imagination started running away with me, and I was imagining every horrific thing that could be happening to her.\u00a0 Then, she pulls\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At 10:03?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 At 10:03.\u00a0 Oh, of course!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean 10:10 I can understand, 10:15\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, I could\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but 10:03?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because I expect her to be driving down the driveway at five until 10:00.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course, she wasn\u2019t going to be there at 10:00 or after.\u00a0 As she comes down the driveway, all of the fear in me switched emotions.\u00a0 It became a little bit of anger and frustration\u2014I\u2019m sure you two have never done that.\u00a0 She opens the door all bubbly, happy; and I became this raving lunatic.\u00a0 I was, \u201cWhere have you been?\u00a0 What have you been doing?\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe you were not where\u2014you were supposed to be home at this time!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI recount that in the book just to let moms know that we do that.\u00a0 We have this vision of what we\u2019re going to be as a mom; then, we have these moments where we turn into this other thing.\u00a0 We don\u2019t understand how that much emotion that\u2019s pent up in you, out of what was concern for your daughter, can just become a really bad attitude.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Quickly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Quickly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very quickly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you write in your book how moms get off into traps.\u00a0 Now, why did you pick the theme of traps?\u00a0 I happen to like that concept.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, does it have anything to do with Dennis Rainey and all the traps he talks about?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I do think it did.\u00a0 No, I just\u2014I\u2019ve talked about traps with pre-teens\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and about getting off into the adolescent years and the traps they get off into; but you see moms getting off into those traps.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019ve always been an optimist.\u00a0 I can normally look at things in a positive light.\u00a0 I started thinking about my daughter, someday, when she became a mom.\u00a0 So, when I started writing this, I started writing it for Samara because I thought, \u201cShe\u2019s going to become a mom.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to start raising a child.\u00a0 All of a sudden, she\u2019s going to think there\u2019s something wrong with her.\u00a0 She\u2019s not going to understand why she feels bad about herself at times, why she feels guilty, why she feels like she wants to hide under the covers, while sometimes she feels like, \u2018That\u2019s it!\u00a0 I\u2019ve had it.\u00a0 I want everything to be done my way.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or raving lunatic at 10:03.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or, yes, a raving lunatic at 10:03.\u00a0 I was afraid that she was going to think back to her childhood\u2014and because for the most part, I\u2019m an optimist\u2014that she was going to think back and go, \u201cWow!\u00a0 Mom seemed to mostly like being a mom and have a good attitude about it.\u00a0 There\u2019s something wrong with me.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t feel this way, and it shouldn\u2019t be this hard.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI started trying to write down for her and analyze myself and other moms because we moved several times in my adult life.\u00a0 We would move into different communities.\u00a0 What I started learning is\u2014all these different moms go through this.\u00a0 I would get in a new community.\u00a0 I\u2019d see the mom that I could tell, \u201cWell, she\u2019s too busy,\u201d because I recognize it.\u00a0 I used to be that.\u00a0 I would see the mom that was really sad, and overwhelmed, and had sort of become a martyr because I do that.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere just seemed to be these common attitudes that women would get that kind of taint them and turn them away from what God intended them to be as a mother.\u00a0 So, that\u2019s how it started\u2014just identifying the attitude traps that prevent you from being the mom that you\u2019re supposed to be.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I appreciated that because I don\u2019t think our kids\u2014I don\u2019t think they catch 99 percent of what\u2019s going on, underneath the water line, in a mom\u2019s heart; and it\u2019s good.\u00a0 Honestly, it\u2019s good that they can\u2019t recall those things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember coming home on more than one occasion when our children were younger, and Barbara would just be in a knot.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know that the kids knew it at all\u2014but one of the reasons why I think was\u2014she had high expectations of herself and what she wanted to accomplish for her day.\u00a0 You call that first trap of yours\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 The first trap is Just a Mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just a Mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just a Mom, where you just think that what you\u2019re doing isn\u2019t important\u2014that you are just a mom, that the day in and day out drudgery of fixing\u2014I always kind of laugh and say, \u201cYou make it, you eat it, and you clean it up.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s constantly day after day and moment after moment that you\u2019re always doing all of these little things; but then, when you look back at the end of the day, you feel like you\u2019ve done nothing because you don\u2019t see anything big that was accomplished.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, you start to think that you\u2019re just a mom; but you\u2019re so much more than just a mom because God knows you and He knows what He\u2019s put into your life and how He\u2019s made you; then\u2014the children that He\u2019s given to you\u2014He gave them to you for a reason.\u00a0 There\u2019s something that you\u2019re supposed to pour into them so that they can become image bearers.\u00a0\u00a0 If you see it as, \u201cjust a mom\u201d versus, \u201cI am the mom for Samara and Wesley.\u00a0 I need to be the mom that I\u2019m supposed to be and pour into them,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s just a shift in your mindset to recognize you can\u2019t look at it as a less than...\u2014you have to look at it as a more than....\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the world tells us that being a mom is an interruption to what you\u2019re really supposed to be.\u00a0 It\u2019s sort of something that gets in the way of what even God really wants you to be someday.\u00a0 I think that being a mom molds you into what God wants you to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You touched on something that I think is pretty significant.\u00a0 That is\u2014that if you are working in a job in a workplace, there are benchmarks, along the way.\u00a0 At the end of the month, you can look back and say, \u201cWell, this happened.\u00a0 We accomplished this;\u201d or six months in, the project is done; or at the end of the year, you\u2019ve got some measuring sticks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if it\u2019s been a year with a two-year-old and you look back and you go, \u201cWell, let\u2019s see.\u00a0 Okay, they\u2019re potty trained.\u201d\u00a0 Well, that doesn\u2019t feel like the accomplishment of a lifetime.\u00a0 I mean, this is a slow-build process\u2014this whole issue of parenting.\u00a0 The gratification is big-time delayed gratification.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 You look at the micro instead of the macro.\u00a0 You look at the end of a day and you think, \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t do anything different today than I\u2019ve done for the last 17 days.\u201d\u00a0 As much of a career woman as I was, and as much of a go-getter as I was, I have learned more about who I really am, and who God wants me to be, and what God wants for my future through being a mom, than I ever would have if I had just been nose-to-the-grindstone.\u00a0 That whole selflessness thing\u2014there\u2019s nothing more selfless than being a mom and, day after day, pouring into your children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, let\u2019s take the Just Being a Mom trap.\u00a0 A husband, who is listening right now, of a Just Being the Mom \u2014she\u2019s in a funk.\u00a0 What can he do?\u00a0 What can he say?\u00a0 Or maybe better, what does he need to be as he arrives home and comes alongside his wife\u2014his friend, his companion for life\u2014as he enters her world?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think sometimes men underestimate the power an encouraging word can have on a mom, especially a young mom, who\u2019s spending her day with little ones.\u00a0 Yes, you get the love, and the hugs, and the kisses from your children; but you also get their frustrations.\u00a0 I mean, you can imagine that, after awhile, when your husband walks in the door, what you want to remember a little bit of, in my case, is Tracey.\u00a0 \u201cAll day long I\u2019ve been Mom, I have not been Tracey.\u201d\u00a0 So, when hubby walks in the door\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You need an identity?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, I need to remember that I\u2019m still Tracey.\u00a0 I need him to walk up and give me a hug, and a big kiss, and, \u201cHow was your day?\u201d and, \u201cHow are the kids?\u201d\u00a0 I know maybe he doesn\u2019t want to hear about some of the frustrations of the day; but if that\u2019s where she goes with that, let her go there.\u00a0 Then, say, \u201cBabe, I\u2019m going to go draw you a bath.\u00a0 I want you to go take a bath, and I\u2019m going to get on the floor and play with the kids tonight.\u00a0 You just spend an hour reading a book, taking a bath, relaxing,\u201d because then what she knows is you\u2019re giving her those moments again to be Tracey, instead of Just Mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Part of the reason I think Dennis asked the question about, \u201cWhat can a husband do?\u201d is because, typically, the kids aren\u2019t going to give you a whole lot of affirmation.\u00a0 They\u2019re not going to say, \u201cHey, Mom\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cyou did a great job today.\u00a0 The block thing was so\u2014oh, man!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThat was over the top.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThat was big.\u201d\u00a0 Then, the culture isn\u2019t going to give you a whole lot of affirmation.\u00a0 There aren\u2019t going to be a whole lot of people who are going to lift up and celebrate what you did.\u00a0 In fact, you look around at what is celebrated and mom is pretty low on the totem pole.\u00a0 So, you do need some cheerleaders in your life.\u00a0 That\u2019s really part of the reason why you developed the <em>MomLife Today<\/em> blog\u2014is to do that cheerleading for other moms because they need to hear those voices; don\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Definitely.\u00a0 I do think that\u2019s why mom blogging has grown the way it has on the internet because if you\u2019re in your home all day, every day, just being able to say to someone, \u201cLook, this is what we did with my kids today.\u00a0 I got on the floor, and we played blocks.\u00a0 Look at this really cool way\u2014that if you take old shoe boxes\u2014it\u2019s a really fun thing you can do with your kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that\u2019s been done, since the beginning of time; but when you have other moms that leave little comments on your blog that say, \u201cOh, that\u2019s great!\u00a0 That\u2019s such a good job.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to do that with my kids,\u201d you just felt affirmed.\u00a0 Definitely, with <em>MomLife Today<\/em>, I would say that the majority of the letters that we get from women are women that feel sort of overwhelmed and forgotten.\u00a0 They\u2019re trying to understand, \u201cHow can I still find joy in being a mom around the day to day?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019re e-mails, not letters; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes!\u00a0 E-mails.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 For what it\u2019s worth, we\u2019re talking about modern technology.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I thought I\u2019d just\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Bob, I was thinking, as she was talking about that, around a number of broadcasts\u2014maybe it was only a couple that we did way back in the early years of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019re coming up on our 20<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary, here this fall, and remember Mom Check?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We called moms, all across the country, and just said, \u201cWould you just share with us what you\u2019re doing right now?\u201d\u00a0 One of them was down on the floor playing blocks.\u00a0 We asked her to describe her kitchen.\u00a0 She nearly had a heart attack to have to describe it on the air there.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I just remember her talking about how it was\u2014Brenda was her name.\u00a0 She was describing her kitchen that looked like a small atomic device had gone off in it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But she said, \u201cIf my husband were to come home right now, he would say, \u2018You\u2019ve been doing the right thing today.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tracey, you\u2019ve got a number of traps here that you list besides Just Being a Mom.\u00a0 Which one is a nemesis for you, personally?\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014out of all\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of these.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I think I know, but I just want you to admit it here because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you took quite a length of time in your book on one.\u00a0 I just want to see if you identify it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 The one that\u2019s my biggest nemesis is the Martyr Mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was wrong.\u00a0 The Martyr Mom\u2014explain what you mean by that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 The Martyr Mom would be that I am working hard, doing what I\u2019m supposed to be doing at home and appearing to have a happy heart while doing it, but grumbling under my breath and\/or, \u201cOh, great! I\u2019m obviously the only one in this house that can put the dishes in the dishwasher.\u00a0 Fine!\u00a0 I\u2019ll put them in the dishwasher;\u201d \u2014or walking past a bathroom and under my breath\u2014loud enough for other people to hear it, \u201cOh, great!\u00a0 Look at the bathroom.\u00a0 Who\u2019s supposed to clean that?\u00a0 I guess it\u2019s going to magically clean itself.\u00a0 Fine!\u00a0 I\u2019ll clean it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s\u2014I actually put this poster on the refrigerator once that said, \u201cIt would be a wonderful world if everything in this house was put back where it was supposed to go.\u201d\u00a0 My family didn\u2019t think that was funny.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That didn\u2019t go over so well?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Didn\u2019t go over so well because that\u2019s what I harp on all the time.\u00a0 So, the idea of a Martyr Mom is you\u2019re doing all the things that you want to do to make your home a happy place, but you\u2019re grumbling the whole time and making sure <em>everybody<\/em> knows your sacrifice.\u00a0 It can even manifest itself in appearance.\u00a0 See, that\u2019s what kind of happened to me.\u00a0 I became a sweat suit, t-shirt, pony-tail girl.\u00a0 I had sort of a fluffy attitude, and a fluffy countenance, and a fluffy body.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I did it on purpose, but sort of this inner\u2014 \u201cpoor, pitiful me\u201d\u2014manifested itself in my appearance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re basically saying, \u201cOkay, if this is my lot in life, I\u2019m not going to look good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just miserable.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to make sure everybody knows it; but I\u2019m going to keep doing what I\u2019m supposed to do, which is to make sure\u201d\u2014again, I don\u2019t think I consciously thought that; but looking back at it, I can see that.\u00a0 For me, when I was really trapped in the Martyr Mom trap was when my children were younger.\u00a0 I was at home all the time, and I was constantly doing things for them.\u00a0 I just became this martyr.\u00a0 <br><br>As a matter of fact, last week, another mom opened up my book, and flipped to the chapters, and she was looking.\u00a0 Then, she started nodding.\u00a0 She was like, \u201cI need to get this book.\u201d\u00a0 I looked at her.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI have a friend that needs this book.\u00a0 Can I buy this book right now from you?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cOne of these traps\u2014\u201d I said, \u201cWhich one?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cThe Martyr Mom.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the Martyr Mom\u2014it\u2019s embarrassing.\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to admit to people that you go through this sort of personal slump.\u00a0 That\u2019s probably why, if you\u2019re like, \u201cReally, I wouldn\u2019t have thought that one\u2014\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Most people wouldn\u2019t think that of me because I spoke about it about eight years ago to a group of women.\u00a0 Then, a couple of them came up to me afterwards and said, \u201cI never would have thought that you could have turned into what I am.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t have selected it for you.\u00a0 You quote Proverbs, Chapter 15, verses 13 through 15, \u201cA glad heart makes a cheerful face; but by sorrow of heart, the spirit is crushed.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the fluffy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the fluffy look, the fluffy attitude\u2014just kind of down on self.\u00a0 Verse 14, \u201cThe heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly.\u00a0 All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re really calling moms out of the doldrums, and not to think negatively about their lot in life and their assignment, but to have a positive view of where God has them and the ministry that He\u2019s given them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, I think it\u2019s a choice.\u00a0 I think everyone can become overwhelmed at whatever job it is that they are doing.\u00a0 C.S. Lewis said, \u201cThe homemaker has the ultimate career.\u00a0 All other careers exist for one purpose, and that\u2019s to support the ultimate career.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, I think the whole martyr thing\u2014where you can really start to not understand the importance of what you\u2019re doing and you kind of wear your countenance in the way that you appear\u2014and I think sometimes that\u2019s part of why\u2014if the world is telling moms and women that being a mom is sort of an annoyance or keeps you from being what it is you are really supposed to do.\u00a0\u00a0 There were times where I know I painted that picture.\u00a0 I made women think that because of my countenance and the way I was approaching my mom life.\u00a0 I feel like it\u2019s a choice.\u00a0 I feel like whatever we do we\u2019re supposed to do it as if doing it for the Lord.\u00a0 We\u2019re not supposed to pout and be pitiful, and I also felt like I was modeling that for my children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If I wanted them to have a happy heart and do things with a good attitude, well, I needed to do the same thing.\u00a0 I think the enemy just loves to whisper things into our ear to get us to be miserable and pitiful.\u00a0 So, I just made the choice, \u201cI\u2019m not going to go there.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to listen to all those lies.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there are other traps that you talk about in your book: the Busy Mom\u2014we know plenty of those.\u00a0 There is the Mirror Mom, and I nodded my head when I read that chapter because the whole issue of comparison is a huge issue.\u00a0 Then, there is the Me Mom.\u00a0 That\u2019s where it\u2019s all about me.\u00a0 That\u2019s a tough trap to be in if you\u2019re given the assignment of raising the next generation because they demand self- sacrifice and self- denial.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRegardless of where you struggle as a mom, I think you\u2019re going to fall right in the middle of Tracey\u2019s book\u2014and be encouraged and strengthened as you read it for the traps you are facing, and the traps you need to step around, and over, and through, and continue on because, as you quoted C.S. Lewis, it is a career that has ultimate importance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Tracey, I really appreciate you being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 I appreciate the work you\u2019re doing on the <em>MomLife Today<\/em> blog site.\u00a0 I hope our listeners will visit that.\u00a0 They\u2019ll have a chance to read some of the things Barbara writes from time to time there, as well as you\u2014and how many others\u201420\u2014?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are 21 contributors.\u00a0 Some of them are moms whose names people will be familiar with, and some of them are not.\u00a0 Some of them are moms, just like those out there, reading.\u00a0 I think the idea is you need to know what\u2019s behind you and remember and reach back to moms younger than you, and you need to know what\u2019s ahead of you and be prepared for what\u2019s coming in front of you.\u00a0 That\u2019s why we have moms of every age and every stage of mom life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to the <em>MomLife Today<\/em> website.\u00a0 If our listeners are interested in checking out the blog, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click on the <em>MomLife Today<\/em> link.\u00a0 You can find out more about who is writing and what the moms are saying at <em>MomLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how to get there and for information on Tracey Eyster\u2019s new book, <em>Be the Mom<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got copies of that book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have heard from a number of new friends this month.\u00a0 Back at the beginning of August, we asked those of you who are regular, long-time listeners to <em>FamilyLife <\/em>Today\u2014you\u2019ve been tuned in for a while.\u00a0 You\u2019ve heard helpful things on the program, but you\u2019ve never picked up the phone or gone online and made a donation to help support the ministry.\u00a0 We\u2019re asking you to consider doing that during the month of August.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019re hoping to hear from 2,500 new friends of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month.\u00a0 That\u2019s a big goal.\u00a0 It actually breaks down to about two families in every city where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard.\u00a0 When you break it down that way, it doesn\u2019t sound so big; but honestly, we are still a ways away from getting to our goal of 2,500 new friends this month.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, would you consider\u2014if that fits you\u2014you\u2019re a regular listener, but you\u2019ve just never gotten in touch with us and made a donation\u2014would you consider doing that today?\u00a0 If you can make a donation, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you the movie, <em>October Baby<\/em>, which was in theaters a few months ago.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got DVD\u2019s.\u00a0 The movie is not out in stores, yet; but we have an advance copy that we can get to you.\u00a0 Again, that\u2019s for anybody who is making a first-time contribution to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and to keep this program on your local station and on our network of stations, all across the country.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAdditionally, if you\u2019re make a first-time donation and that donation is $100 or more, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to you by sending you a certificate so that you and your spouse can attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway, as our guests.\u00a0 So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Make a donation online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 We hope to hear from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, hope to hear from 2,500 first-time friends this month.\u00a0 If you\u2019re one of those who does get in touch with us, let us just say, \u201cThank you,\u201d now for your support.\u00a0 We do appreciate your participation in the ministry, and it\u2019s nice to hear from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about the entitlement attitude that is present in a lot of homes, even some Christian homes\u2014kids growing up thinking they are entitled to\u2014well, you fill in the blank with whatever you think fits there.\u00a0 Kay Wills Wyma joins us on Monday to talk about how moms and dads can defeat that entitlement attitude.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.32M"],"filesize_raw":["24451020"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302580.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302580.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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has cleaning, cooking and changing diapers all day lost its luster?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-24.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you\u2019re a mom, do you ever feel less than when people ask you, \u201cSo, what do you do?\u201d\u00a0 Here is author, Tracey Eyster.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 The world tells us that being a mom is an interruption to what you\u2019re really supposed to be.\u00a0 It\u2019s sort of something that gets in the way of what even God really wants you to be someday.\u00a0 I think that being a mom molds you into what God wants you to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 24<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Is it possible that you have fallen into a mom trap?\u00a0 Author, Tracey Eyster, joins us today to talk about what some of those traps are.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We have a tradition in our family.\u00a0 On a child\u2019s birthday, one of the things we do is we recount the details of the day that child was born.\u00a0 The reason we do this is because after our kids had celebrated a number of birthdays, they started asking questions about the day they were born.\u00a0 Mary Ann and I found ourselves not remembering the details.\u00a0 So, it was as much for us as it was for them, just to rehearse, at least once a year, the details of the day a child was born.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy son, John, just turned 21.\u00a0 At his birthday celebration, he prompted.\u00a0 He said, \u201cOkay, Dad, let\u2019s go through it again.\u00a0 Let\u2019s have the details.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 It\u2019s something\u2014and he knows all of the stories and knows about the chocolate ice cream soda that Mary Ann had that afternoon that helped start labor for her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s a great tradition.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, it\u2019s a fun tradition.\u00a0 We turned it into birthday trivia later on, to where I would ask questions of the kids:\u00a0 \u201cWhat was the name of your mom\u2019s obstetrician?\u201d and, \u201cWhat was the name of the hospital where you were born?\u201d\u00a0 They would get prizes, depending on how well they did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, I\u2019ve seen you play Trivial Pursuit<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure about growing up in your family, having to play these games and recall all that stuff.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we have someone with us\u2014a special person\u2014Tracey Eyster, who works here at FamilyLife, as a volunteer.\u00a0 She is the creative editor and designer of <em>MomLife Today\u2122<\/em>, a blog that seeks to minister to moms and have an impact in their lives.\u00a0 She\u2019s recently completed a book called <em>Be the Mom: Overcoming Attitude Traps and Enjoying Your Kids<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We shared earlier, Tracey, how you and your husband Bill struggled over infertility and how God finally answered your prayers.\u00a0 You had a little girl by the name of Samara.\u00a0 I love what you write about in the book because you talk about the joy of becoming a mom.\u00a0 Then, you talk about fast-forwarding 16 years, when that little girl is now a teenager.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, there are several instances; but that particular one, she had turned 16.\u00a0 She had the car keys; she was out.\u00a0 I knew where she was, I knew who she was with, I knew what she was doing; but she was supposed to be home by 10:00.\u00a0 It was 10:03, and she wasn\u2019t there.\u00a0 My imagination started running away with me, and I was imagining every horrific thing that could be happening to her.\u00a0 Then, she pulls\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At 10:03?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 At 10:03.\u00a0 Oh, of course!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean 10:10 I can understand, 10:15\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, I could\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but 10:03?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because I expect her to be driving down the driveway at five until 10:00.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course, she wasn\u2019t going to be there at 10:00 or after.\u00a0 As she comes down the driveway, all of the fear in me switched emotions.\u00a0 It became a little bit of anger and frustration\u2014I\u2019m sure you two have never done that.\u00a0 She opens the door all bubbly, happy; and I became this raving lunatic.\u00a0 I was, \u201cWhere have you been?\u00a0 What have you been doing?\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe you were not where\u2014you were supposed to be home at this time!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI recount that in the book just to let moms know that we do that.\u00a0 We have this vision of what we\u2019re going to be as a mom; then, we have these moments where we turn into this other thing.\u00a0 We don\u2019t understand how that much emotion that\u2019s pent up in you, out of what was concern for your daughter, can just become a really bad attitude.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Quickly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Quickly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very quickly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you write in your book how moms get off into traps.\u00a0 Now, why did you pick the theme of traps?\u00a0 I happen to like that concept.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, does it have anything to do with Dennis Rainey and all the traps he talks about?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I do think it did.\u00a0 No, I just\u2014I\u2019ve talked about traps with pre-teens\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and about getting off into the adolescent years and the traps they get off into; but you see moms getting off into those traps.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019ve always been an optimist.\u00a0 I can normally look at things in a positive light.\u00a0 I started thinking about my daughter, someday, when she became a mom.\u00a0 So, when I started writing this, I started writing it for Samara because I thought, \u201cShe\u2019s going to become a mom.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to start raising a child.\u00a0 All of a sudden, she\u2019s going to think there\u2019s something wrong with her.\u00a0 She\u2019s not going to understand why she feels bad about herself at times, why she feels guilty, why she feels like she wants to hide under the covers, while sometimes she feels like, \u2018That\u2019s it!\u00a0 I\u2019ve had it.\u00a0 I want everything to be done my way.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or raving lunatic at 10:03.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or, yes, a raving lunatic at 10:03.\u00a0 I was afraid that she was going to think back to her childhood\u2014and because for the most part, I\u2019m an optimist\u2014that she was going to think back and go, \u201cWow!\u00a0 Mom seemed to mostly like being a mom and have a good attitude about it.\u00a0 There\u2019s something wrong with me.\u00a0 I shouldn\u2019t feel this way, and it shouldn\u2019t be this hard.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI started trying to write down for her and analyze myself and other moms because we moved several times in my adult life.\u00a0 We would move into different communities.\u00a0 What I started learning is\u2014all these different moms go through this.\u00a0 I would get in a new community.\u00a0 I\u2019d see the mom that I could tell, \u201cWell, she\u2019s too busy,\u201d because I recognize it.\u00a0 I used to be that.\u00a0 I would see the mom that was really sad, and overwhelmed, and had sort of become a martyr because I do that.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere just seemed to be these common attitudes that women would get that kind of taint them and turn them away from what God intended them to be as a mother.\u00a0 So, that\u2019s how it started\u2014just identifying the attitude traps that prevent you from being the mom that you\u2019re supposed to be.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I appreciated that because I don\u2019t think our kids\u2014I don\u2019t think they catch 99 percent of what\u2019s going on, underneath the water line, in a mom\u2019s heart; and it\u2019s good.\u00a0 Honestly, it\u2019s good that they can\u2019t recall those things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember coming home on more than one occasion when our children were younger, and Barbara would just be in a knot.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know that the kids knew it at all\u2014but one of the reasons why I think was\u2014she had high expectations of herself and what she wanted to accomplish for her day.\u00a0 You call that first trap of yours\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 The first trap is Just a Mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just a Mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just a Mom, where you just think that what you\u2019re doing isn\u2019t important\u2014that you are just a mom, that the day in and day out drudgery of fixing\u2014I always kind of laugh and say, \u201cYou make it, you eat it, and you clean it up.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s constantly day after day and moment after moment that you\u2019re always doing all of these little things; but then, when you look back at the end of the day, you feel like you\u2019ve done nothing because you don\u2019t see anything big that was accomplished.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, you start to think that you\u2019re just a mom; but you\u2019re so much more than just a mom because God knows you and He knows what He\u2019s put into your life and how He\u2019s made you; then\u2014the children that He\u2019s given to you\u2014He gave them to you for a reason.\u00a0 There\u2019s something that you\u2019re supposed to pour into them so that they can become image bearers.\u00a0\u00a0 If you see it as, \u201cjust a mom\u201d versus, \u201cI am the mom for Samara and Wesley.\u00a0 I need to be the mom that I\u2019m supposed to be and pour into them,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s just a shift in your mindset to recognize you can\u2019t look at it as a less than...\u2014you have to look at it as a more than....\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the world tells us that being a mom is an interruption to what you\u2019re really supposed to be.\u00a0 It\u2019s sort of something that gets in the way of what even God really wants you to be someday.\u00a0 I think that being a mom molds you into what God wants you to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You touched on something that I think is pretty significant.\u00a0 That is\u2014that if you are working in a job in a workplace, there are benchmarks, along the way.\u00a0 At the end of the month, you can look back and say, \u201cWell, this happened.\u00a0 We accomplished this;\u201d or six months in, the project is done; or at the end of the year, you\u2019ve got some measuring sticks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut if it\u2019s been a year with a two-year-old and you look back and you go, \u201cWell, let\u2019s see.\u00a0 Okay, they\u2019re potty trained.\u201d\u00a0 Well, that doesn\u2019t feel like the accomplishment of a lifetime.\u00a0 I mean, this is a slow-build process\u2014this whole issue of parenting.\u00a0 The gratification is big-time delayed gratification.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 You look at the micro instead of the macro.\u00a0 You look at the end of a day and you think, \u201cWell, I didn\u2019t do anything different today than I\u2019ve done for the last 17 days.\u201d\u00a0 As much of a career woman as I was, and as much of a go-getter as I was, I have learned more about who I really am, and who God wants me to be, and what God wants for my future through being a mom, than I ever would have if I had just been nose-to-the-grindstone.\u00a0 That whole selflessness thing\u2014there\u2019s nothing more selfless than being a mom and, day after day, pouring into your children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, let\u2019s take the Just Being a Mom trap.\u00a0 A husband, who is listening right now, of a Just Being the Mom \u2014she\u2019s in a funk.\u00a0 What can he do?\u00a0 What can he say?\u00a0 Or maybe better, what does he need to be as he arrives home and comes alongside his wife\u2014his friend, his companion for life\u2014as he enters her world?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think sometimes men underestimate the power an encouraging word can have on a mom, especially a young mom, who\u2019s spending her day with little ones.\u00a0 Yes, you get the love, and the hugs, and the kisses from your children; but you also get their frustrations.\u00a0 I mean, you can imagine that, after awhile, when your husband walks in the door, what you want to remember a little bit of, in my case, is Tracey.\u00a0 \u201cAll day long I\u2019ve been Mom, I have not been Tracey.\u201d\u00a0 So, when hubby walks in the door\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You need an identity?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, I need to remember that I\u2019m still Tracey.\u00a0 I need him to walk up and give me a hug, and a big kiss, and, \u201cHow was your day?\u201d and, \u201cHow are the kids?\u201d\u00a0 I know maybe he doesn\u2019t want to hear about some of the frustrations of the day; but if that\u2019s where she goes with that, let her go there.\u00a0 Then, say, \u201cBabe, I\u2019m going to go draw you a bath.\u00a0 I want you to go take a bath, and I\u2019m going to get on the floor and play with the kids tonight.\u00a0 You just spend an hour reading a book, taking a bath, relaxing,\u201d because then what she knows is you\u2019re giving her those moments again to be Tracey, instead of Just Mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Part of the reason I think Dennis asked the question about, \u201cWhat can a husband do?\u201d is because, typically, the kids aren\u2019t going to give you a whole lot of affirmation.\u00a0 They\u2019re not going to say, \u201cHey, Mom\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cyou did a great job today.\u00a0 The block thing was so\u2014oh, man!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThat was over the top.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThat was big.\u201d\u00a0 Then, the culture isn\u2019t going to give you a whole lot of affirmation.\u00a0 There aren\u2019t going to be a whole lot of people who are going to lift up and celebrate what you did.\u00a0 In fact, you look around at what is celebrated and mom is pretty low on the totem pole.\u00a0 So, you do need some cheerleaders in your life.\u00a0 That\u2019s really part of the reason why you developed the <em>MomLife Today<\/em> blog\u2014is to do that cheerleading for other moms because they need to hear those voices; don\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Definitely.\u00a0 I do think that\u2019s why mom blogging has grown the way it has on the internet because if you\u2019re in your home all day, every day, just being able to say to someone, \u201cLook, this is what we did with my kids today.\u00a0 I got on the floor, and we played blocks.\u00a0 Look at this really cool way\u2014that if you take old shoe boxes\u2014it\u2019s a really fun thing you can do with your kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that\u2019s been done, since the beginning of time; but when you have other moms that leave little comments on your blog that say, \u201cOh, that\u2019s great!\u00a0 That\u2019s such a good job.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to do that with my kids,\u201d you just felt affirmed.\u00a0 Definitely, with <em>MomLife Today<\/em>, I would say that the majority of the letters that we get from women are women that feel sort of overwhelmed and forgotten.\u00a0 They\u2019re trying to understand, \u201cHow can I still find joy in being a mom around the day to day?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019re e-mails, not letters; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes!\u00a0 E-mails.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 For what it\u2019s worth, we\u2019re talking about modern technology.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I thought I\u2019d just\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Bob, I was thinking, as she was talking about that, around a number of broadcasts\u2014maybe it was only a couple that we did way back in the early years of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019re coming up on our 20<sup>th<\/sup> anniversary, here this fall, and remember Mom Check?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We called moms, all across the country, and just said, \u201cWould you just share with us what you\u2019re doing right now?\u201d\u00a0 One of them was down on the floor playing blocks.\u00a0 We asked her to describe her kitchen.\u00a0 She nearly had a heart attack to have to describe it on the air there.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I just remember her talking about how it was\u2014Brenda was her name.\u00a0 She was describing her kitchen that looked like a small atomic device had gone off in it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But she said, \u201cIf my husband were to come home right now, he would say, \u2018You\u2019ve been doing the right thing today.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tracey, you\u2019ve got a number of traps here that you list besides Just Being a Mom.\u00a0 Which one is a nemesis for you, personally?\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014out of all\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of these.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I think I know, but I just want you to admit it here because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you took quite a length of time in your book on one.\u00a0 I just want to see if you identify it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 The one that\u2019s my biggest nemesis is the Martyr Mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was wrong.\u00a0 The Martyr Mom\u2014explain what you mean by that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 The Martyr Mom would be that I am working hard, doing what I\u2019m supposed to be doing at home and appearing to have a happy heart while doing it, but grumbling under my breath and\/or, \u201cOh, great! I\u2019m obviously the only one in this house that can put the dishes in the dishwasher.\u00a0 Fine!\u00a0 I\u2019ll put them in the dishwasher;\u201d \u2014or walking past a bathroom and under my breath\u2014loud enough for other people to hear it, \u201cOh, great!\u00a0 Look at the bathroom.\u00a0 Who\u2019s supposed to clean that?\u00a0 I guess it\u2019s going to magically clean itself.\u00a0 Fine!\u00a0 I\u2019ll clean it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it\u2019s\u2014I actually put this poster on the refrigerator once that said, \u201cIt would be a wonderful world if everything in this house was put back where it was supposed to go.\u201d\u00a0 My family didn\u2019t think that was funny.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That didn\u2019t go over so well?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Didn\u2019t go over so well because that\u2019s what I harp on all the time.\u00a0 So, the idea of a Martyr Mom is you\u2019re doing all the things that you want to do to make your home a happy place, but you\u2019re grumbling the whole time and making sure <em>everybody<\/em> knows your sacrifice.\u00a0 It can even manifest itself in appearance.\u00a0 See, that\u2019s what kind of happened to me.\u00a0 I became a sweat suit, t-shirt, pony-tail girl.\u00a0 I had sort of a fluffy attitude, and a fluffy countenance, and a fluffy body.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I did it on purpose, but sort of this inner\u2014 \u201cpoor, pitiful me\u201d\u2014manifested itself in my appearance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re basically saying, \u201cOkay, if this is my lot in life, I\u2019m not going to look good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just miserable.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to make sure everybody knows it; but I\u2019m going to keep doing what I\u2019m supposed to do, which is to make sure\u201d\u2014again, I don\u2019t think I consciously thought that; but looking back at it, I can see that.\u00a0 For me, when I was really trapped in the Martyr Mom trap was when my children were younger.\u00a0 I was at home all the time, and I was constantly doing things for them.\u00a0 I just became this martyr.\u00a0 <br><br>As a matter of fact, last week, another mom opened up my book, and flipped to the chapters, and she was looking.\u00a0 Then, she started nodding.\u00a0 She was like, \u201cI need to get this book.\u201d\u00a0 I looked at her.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI have a friend that needs this book.\u00a0 Can I buy this book right now from you?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cOne of these traps\u2014\u201d I said, \u201cWhich one?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cThe Martyr Mom.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think the Martyr Mom\u2014it\u2019s embarrassing.\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to admit to people that you go through this sort of personal slump.\u00a0 That\u2019s probably why, if you\u2019re like, \u201cReally, I wouldn\u2019t have thought that one\u2014\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Most people wouldn\u2019t think that of me because I spoke about it about eight years ago to a group of women.\u00a0 Then, a couple of them came up to me afterwards and said, \u201cI never would have thought that you could have turned into what I am.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t have selected it for you.\u00a0 You quote Proverbs, Chapter 15, verses 13 through 15, \u201cA glad heart makes a cheerful face; but by sorrow of heart, the spirit is crushed.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the fluffy\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the fluffy look, the fluffy attitude\u2014just kind of down on self.\u00a0 Verse 14, \u201cThe heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly.\u00a0 All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re really calling moms out of the doldrums, and not to think negatively about their lot in life and their assignment, but to have a positive view of where God has them and the ministry that He\u2019s given them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, I think it\u2019s a choice.\u00a0 I think everyone can become overwhelmed at whatever job it is that they are doing.\u00a0 C.S. Lewis said, \u201cThe homemaker has the ultimate career.\u00a0 All other careers exist for one purpose, and that\u2019s to support the ultimate career.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>So, I think the whole martyr thing\u2014where you can really start to not understand the importance of what you\u2019re doing and you kind of wear your countenance in the way that you appear\u2014and I think sometimes that\u2019s part of why\u2014if the world is telling moms and women that being a mom is sort of an annoyance or keeps you from being what it is you are really supposed to do.\u00a0\u00a0 There were times where I know I painted that picture.\u00a0 I made women think that because of my countenance and the way I was approaching my mom life.\u00a0 I feel like it\u2019s a choice.\u00a0 I feel like whatever we do we\u2019re supposed to do it as if doing it for the Lord.\u00a0 We\u2019re not supposed to pout and be pitiful, and I also felt like I was modeling that for my children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If I wanted them to have a happy heart and do things with a good attitude, well, I needed to do the same thing.\u00a0 I think the enemy just loves to whisper things into our ear to get us to be miserable and pitiful.\u00a0 So, I just made the choice, \u201cI\u2019m not going to go there.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to listen to all those lies.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there are other traps that you talk about in your book: the Busy Mom\u2014we know plenty of those.\u00a0 There is the Mirror Mom, and I nodded my head when I read that chapter because the whole issue of comparison is a huge issue.\u00a0 Then, there is the Me Mom.\u00a0 That\u2019s where it\u2019s all about me.\u00a0 That\u2019s a tough trap to be in if you\u2019re given the assignment of raising the next generation because they demand self- sacrifice and self- denial.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRegardless of where you struggle as a mom, I think you\u2019re going to fall right in the middle of Tracey\u2019s book\u2014and be encouraged and strengthened as you read it for the traps you are facing, and the traps you need to step around, and over, and through, and continue on because, as you quoted C.S. Lewis, it is a career that has ultimate importance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Tracey, I really appreciate you being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 I appreciate the work you\u2019re doing on the <em>MomLife Today<\/em> blog site.\u00a0 I hope our listeners will visit that.\u00a0 They\u2019ll have a chance to read some of the things Barbara writes from time to time there, as well as you\u2014and how many others\u201420\u2014?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Tracey:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are 21 contributors.\u00a0 Some of them are moms whose names people will be familiar with, and some of them are not.\u00a0 Some of them are moms, just like those out there, reading.\u00a0 I think the idea is you need to know what\u2019s behind you and remember and reach back to moms younger than you, and you need to know what\u2019s ahead of you and be prepared for what\u2019s coming in front of you.\u00a0 That\u2019s why we have moms of every age and every stage of mom life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to the <em>MomLife Today<\/em> website.\u00a0 If our listeners are interested in checking out the blog, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click on the <em>MomLife Today<\/em> link.\u00a0 You can find out more about who is writing and what the moms are saying at <em>MomLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how to get there and for information on Tracey Eyster\u2019s new book, <em>Be the Mom<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got copies of that book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have heard from a number of new friends this month.\u00a0 Back at the beginning of August, we asked those of you who are regular, long-time listeners to <em>FamilyLife <\/em>Today\u2014you\u2019ve been tuned in for a while.\u00a0 You\u2019ve heard helpful things on the program, but you\u2019ve never picked up the phone or gone online and made a donation to help support the ministry.\u00a0 We\u2019re asking you to consider doing that during the month of August.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019re hoping to hear from 2,500 new friends of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month.\u00a0 That\u2019s a big goal.\u00a0 It actually breaks down to about two families in every city where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard.\u00a0 When you break it down that way, it doesn\u2019t sound so big; but honestly, we are still a ways away from getting to our goal of 2,500 new friends this month.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, would you consider\u2014if that fits you\u2014you\u2019re a regular listener, but you\u2019ve just never gotten in touch with us and made a donation\u2014would you consider doing that today?\u00a0 If you can make a donation, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you the movie, <em>October Baby<\/em>, which was in theaters a few months ago.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got DVD\u2019s.\u00a0 The movie is not out in stores, yet; but we have an advance copy that we can get to you.\u00a0 Again, that\u2019s for anybody who is making a first-time contribution to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and to keep this program on your local station and on our network of stations, all across the country.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAdditionally, if you\u2019re make a first-time donation and that donation is $100 or more, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to you by sending you a certificate so that you and your spouse can attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> marriage getaway, as our guests.\u00a0 So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Make a donation online, or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 We hope to hear from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, hope to hear from 2,500 first-time friends this month.\u00a0 If you\u2019re one of those who does get in touch with us, let us just say, \u201cThank you,\u201d now for your support.\u00a0 We do appreciate your participation in the ministry, and it\u2019s nice to hear from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about the entitlement attitude that is present in a lot of homes, even some Christian homes\u2014kids growing up thinking they are entitled to\u2014well, you fill in the blank with whatever you think fits there.\u00a0 Kay Wills Wyma joins us on Monday to talk about how moms and dads can defeat that entitlement attitude.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302580","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302580"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302580"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302580"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302580"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302580"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302580"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302580"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}