{"id":302578,"date":"2012-08-22T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-22T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/adopting-the-motherhood-mindset\/"},"modified":"2012-08-22T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-22T15:00:00","slug":"adopting-the-motherhood-mindset","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/adopting-the-motherhood-mindset\/","title":{"rendered":"Adopting the Motherhood Mindset"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Only 9% of high school girls say they want to be mothers.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-22.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"19.86M","filesize_raw":"20828256","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838],"tags":[4491,4126,5222],"podcast_series":[7894],"cwp_profile":[3200],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302578","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","tag-abortion","tag-ministry","tag-pregnancy","podcast_series-beyond-bath-time","cwp_profile-erin-davis","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302578\/adopting-the-motherhood-mindset","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302578\/adopting-the-motherhood-mindset","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"xxAiE3vIww\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/adopting-the-motherhood-mindset\/\">Adopting the Motherhood Mindset<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/adopting-the-motherhood-mindset\/embed\/#?secret=xxAiE3vIww\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Adopting the Motherhood Mindset&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"xxAiE3vIww\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-22.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-22.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why is it that more and more women who aren\u2019t moms don\u2019t want to be moms?\u00a0 And why is it that so many women who are moms are frustrated?\u00a0 Here\u2019s Erin Davis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is the problem that women are having children but don\u2019t have a Kingdom vision for it.\u00a0 They\u2019re miserable because if it\u2019s really just about changing diapers, and doing laundry, and shuffling to soccer practice\u2014if that\u2019s the bottom line, if that\u2019s the ultimate goal for what you\u2019re doing with your time, and if you don\u2019t have a higher vision, a higher picture, that God could use it for something bigger\u2014you\u2019re going to complain, and you\u2019re going to be miserable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, August 22<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0\u00a0 Do you have a Kingdom vision for the assignment God has given you as a mom?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 What were the circumstances around which Barbara gave you the news that you guys were expecting your first child?\u00a0 Do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was back before the earth\u2019s crust\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014had hardened.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 There were no strips; there were no tests.\u00a0 It was, \u201cGo to the doctor and find out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And did she call you?\u00a0 Did you go with her to the doctor?\u00a0 Do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Uh, you know\u2014I just tell you\u2014I don\u2019t remember, but I\u2019m sure she came home from the doctor and announced to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember when you found out about number six\u2014that you were pregnant with your sixth?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember the exact moment.\u00a0 I do remember, for Barbara, it was a sad moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was not looking forward to that pregnancy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it was more of self had to die, and you kind of know that after five\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember clearly, Mary Ann showing up at work.\u00a0 I had no clue that she was even suspicious that she might be pregnant.\u00a0 She walked in to where I was working, unexpectedly, middle of the day.\u00a0 I said, \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI have news;\u201d and she told me we were expecting.\u00a0 We smiled, and we hugged, and we kissed.\u00a0 I remember that.\u00a0 I also remember, with our last child, buying the pregnancy test at Sam\u2019s<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and her going into the bathroom, there at Sam\u2019s, and walking out, nodding her head!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the difference between first and fifth.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right\u2014a very different experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re going to talk about motherhood.\u00a0 Those of you who listen to our broadcast regularly know we are bullish on moms.\u00a0 We\u2019re bullish on kids\u2014we\u2019re all about them.\u00a0 We think, as Neil Postman has said, they \u201care the living messengers we send to a time we will not see.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re talking to Erin Davis about her new book, <em>Beyond Bath Time<\/em>.\u00a0 Erin, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Erin, you have a quote in your book that I want you to read to our listeners.\u00a0 It really speaks of our attitude and where we get our attitude about children and motherhood today.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually by another author.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 It\u2019s by author Rachel Jankovic, who I think is really smart.\u00a0 She wrote a book called <em>Loving the Little Years.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>She\u2019s blogging about motherhood; and she wrote this:\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYears ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things.\u00a0 When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.\u00a0 Children rank way below college, below world travel for sure, below the ability to go out at night at your leisure, below honing your body at the gym, below any job you may have or hope to get.\u00a0 In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do.\u00a0 Below everything, children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.\u00a0 If you grew up in this culture, it\u2019s very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you write in your book that high school girls\u2014about nine percent of them think that someday they want to be a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s astounding!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Only nine percent say, \u201cYes! I want to be a mom.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I think\u2014I don\u2019t know your listeners, but I think a lot of them\u2014that might just [zoom] right over their heads and think, \u201cThat can\u2019t be right, that only nine percent of young women would want to be mothers.\u201d\u00a0 I can tell you, as somebody who works extensively with young women, that might even be a little high.\u00a0 They don\u2019t want to be moms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re speaking of single women, at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 The desires of Christian young women to be married and have children are absolutely in the toilet.\u00a0 I could cite you some numbers but they wouldn\u2019t be as interesting as the stories of the young women that I encounter who love the Lord, passionately love the Lord.\u00a0 I\u2019ll say, \u201cWhat do you want to do with your life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI want to have a ministry!\u201d which, to them, looks like something very official in some sort of ministry box.\u00a0 I\u2019ll say, \u201cDo you want to be married?\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019ll say, \u201cWell, if God brings me a husband, I\u2019d be open to that,\u201d \u2014which, you guys know\u2014you talk about marriage numbers all the time.\u00a0 Those of us who are married\u2014as adults, we\u2019re very close to becoming the minority for the first time in history.\u00a0 Imagine that trajectory, just ten years down the road, when the teenagers at my church are of marrying age.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe number of married adults just continues to go down; but the number that continues to go up is married couples who choose childlessness\u2014not couples whose childlessness chooses them, not people who are not yet married, but Christian couples who assume can get pregnant, but choose not to get pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say the majority of young women that I interact with through speaking, and teaching, and through my church say, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be a mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be a mom, ever.\u201d\u00a0 The number one rival for that is that they want to have a career.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I listen to that hang in the air; and it\u2019s like, \u201cReally?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 It was true of you, as well.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t want to be a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You start your book with a story that is really an interesting story because you found out you were pregnant and you immediately embraced that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did not!\u00a0 The way that I broke the news to my husband that we were having our first child was by sitting on the edge of our bed and sobbing!\u00a0 I just couldn\u2019t fathom how that was going to work.\u00a0 Twelve weeks pregnant, not very far along at all, we went to have an ultrasound.\u00a0 The doctor called that afternoon.\u00a0 I was getting ready to travel for work.\u00a0 She said, \u201cThere\u2019s something wrong with the baby.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m getting ready to go on a work trip.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to have to wait.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt can\u2019t wait.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be seeing a specialist on Monday morning.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we spent that weekend doing a lot of praying, not really sure how we felt, honestly.\u00a0 We went to see a neonatologist.\u00a0 They did another ultrasound, and she had terrible bedside manner.\u00a0 I was lying on the table.\u00a0 I just had the ultrasound; and she barged in the door and said, \u201cYour baby\u2019s bladder is blocked.\u00a0 He\u2019s not going to survive this pregnancy.\u00a0 If he does, he\u2019s going to be very disabled.\u00a0 My suggestion is that you abort him.\u00a0 Are you going to abort him or not?\u201d and put a clipboard in my face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 It was that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was literally that intense and that heartless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And people talk about kind of the room going dark.\u00a0 That\u2019s what happened.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 I certainly didn\u2019t know what to feel.\u00a0 I deferred to my husband Jason and he said, \u201cWell, we\u2019re not going to abort the baby.\u00a0 So what are our options?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that\u2019s how you learn about becoming a mom, it\u2019s not about tiny clothes.\u00a0 It\u2019s not about painting a nursery.\u00a0 Suddenly, the reality of motherhood was very, very clear to me.\u00a0 When that bomb hit, in the form of a healthy baby boy named Elisha, who was miraculously healed of that bladder blockage, the shock was almost too much for me.\u00a0 Here, I wanted him\u2014I prayed through that pregnancy\u2014and then, the reality of motherhood\u2014which is that it was very, very demanding\u2014really sent me reeling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So let me kind of chart the emotional arc here; okay?\u00a0 You find out you\u2019re pregnant.\u00a0 You\u2019re very sad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I feel dread.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to be pregnant.\u00a0 Close to finding out you\u2019re pregnant, you find out that this baby\u2019s life is threatened; and an abortion is recommended.\u00a0 Your husband says, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to do that;\u201d and you supported that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn\u2019t want to abort.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that was never an option.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But at the same time, you\u2019re now going through a pregnancy with the expectation that, \u201cWe\u2019re going to have a child who may not survive; and if he does, is going to be physically disabled.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re preparing yourself for that, emotionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 We watched him very closely.\u00a0 We had ultrasounds every week.\u00a0 Imagine, from 12 weeks to 40 weeks, we see that little guy. They\u2019re monitoring that bladder blockage\u2014which, that seems like no big deal; but that\u2019s how babies, in the womb, process amniotic fluid.\u00a0 We\u2019re assuming his kidneys don\u2019t work.\u00a0 We\u2019re assuming his lungs don\u2019t work, and we\u2019re watching him every week.\u00a0 Every week his bladder is bigger, and bigger, and bigger, until the day that he was to be born, his bladder on ultrasound filled his entire abdomen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was a specialist team, waiting in the surgery room, to whisk him away.\u00a0 We packed suitcases for weeks, with the expectation that that baby was going to the NICU; and we didn\u2019t know when we\u2019d get him back.\u00a0 I felt every emotion there is to feel.\u00a0 I think there\u2019s a mothering instinct that kicked on early on, which, of course, I wanted that baby to survive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 You wanted to bring forth life!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 Of course, I wanted him to survive.\u00a0 I loved him so much.\u00a0 Seeing that little profile on his ultrasounds week, after week, after week; and then, there was also this kind of undercurrent of dread, \u201cWhat if he does, and what\u2019s being a mom going to be like?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, now tell the truth.\u00a0 Did that begin to kind of pale in significance to giving life?\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It did.\u00a0 During the pregnancy, it absolutely did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your initial response was to cry and sob.\u00a0 \u201cMy life is ruined.\u00a0 What am I going to do?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got these two degrees.\u00a0 I had my career staked out.\u00a0 We were going to give our lives for \u2018the ministry\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 But that kind of goes away as you think about the purposeful nature of becoming a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I got down to the nitty-gritty of what parenthood is much sooner than a lot of other first-time pregnant moms do because they\u2019re thinking about, \u201cIs it a boy or a girl?\u00a0 What am I going to name him?\u00a0 How am I going to decorate the nursery?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I didn\u2019t care about any of that because I didn\u2019t even know if I was going to be able to bring him home.\u00a0 So, I was really thinking deeper, a lot sooner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you know when those dread feelings started to come back?\u00a0 After he was healed, and we were home, and I was in this mom-business, full-time.\u00a0 I was exhausted, and he was demanding.\u00a0 Then, I was back in this tug-of-war\u2014like, here, I should feel so thankful that he\u2019s healed and he\u2019s healthy\u2014and yet, this is really hard!\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure this is what I signed up for.\u00a0 Everything that I was worried might happen, as far as making sacrifices has happened.\u00a0 It was an emotional roller-coaster.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have to ask, and this\u2014I almost hesitate to ask\u2014but I put myself in that situation.\u00a0 I think I probably would have been tempted to pray, \u201cLord, if he\u2019s not going to live or not be healthy, take him now.\u201d\u00a0 Did you pray a prayer like that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 It was one of those seasons of my life when I didn\u2019t know what to pray.\u00a0 I think I mostly prayed for nine months, \u201cLet him live.\u00a0 Let him live.\u00a0 Let him live.\u00a0 Let him live.\u00a0 Let him live.\u201d\u00a0 It was one of those sweet times in my life when the body of Christ stood in the gap for me and prayed for me.\u00a0 There were women in my church who gathered and laid hands on me often.\u00a0 Our church was praying for us.\u00a0 We gathered our elders in our church and they prayed for us.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have\u2014I didn\u2019t know what to pray, and so others were praying for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you kind of took us from, \u201cHe was born with a bladder that was the size of half his abdomen,\u201d to, \u201cHe\u2019s home and he\u2019s healthy.\u201d\u00a0 How\u2019d that happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I love to tell that story.\u00a0 We had a team waiting.\u00a0 We had a top pediatric urologist and his team.\u00a0 They were scrubbed up.\u00a0 They were going to take this boy, who my husband named Elisha because it means \u201cGod saves.\u201d\u00a0 I wanted to name him something different.\u00a0 My husband said, \u201cI\u2019ve changed his name to Elisha.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cThe baby, that\u2019s in my tummy\u2014you\u2019ve changed his name?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cIt means \u2018God saves.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 At that time, I said, \u201cWell, He might not save him.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cGod still saves; so we\u2019re naming him Elisha.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I want you to finish the story; but I have to interrupt you and say, before you get to the medical and what took place with that team, after he was born, did you hold him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t immediately; but within that day, I did hold him.\u00a0 I had a really difficult delivery, and I was on a lot of medicine; but I do remember when I did hold him\u2014my goodness, he was a cute little guy!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What emotion was taking place there?\u00a0 Did you weep?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if our language has a word for that emotion that a parent feels the first time they see their baby.\u00a0 Love seems cheap, and I don\u2019t think there is a word for that.\u00a0 It\u2019s absolutely overwhelming, the first time that you see that little face that I\u2019d just seen in an ultrasound.\u00a0 There he was, in the flesh, Elisha.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright.\u00a0 Go ahead and tell the rest of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 The pediatric urologist was there; his nurses were there.\u00a0 They were all scrubbed up, masks on.\u00a0 They had a cart ready to take him to NICU.\u00a0 The thing, with the bladder being blocked, is they didn\u2019t think he was going to be able to pee.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if I can say that on radio, but I did.\u00a0 So, Elisha came out; and he peed on the nurses.\u00a0 He peed on the doctors.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 He peed all over the table.\u00a0 Clearly, that blockage came out, at the time of his birth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 The surgeon said, \u201cYou just bought yourself a ticket out of the NICU, buddy.\u201d\u00a0 He never went to surgery.\u00a0 He\u2019s four and he has some hydronephrosis, which is, some fluid backed up in his kidneys.\u00a0 He has one small kidney and one normal-sized kidney; but he\u2019s a very normal boy, and we\u2019re continuing to pray.\u00a0 Every year, when we go for an annual ultrasound, we ask the Lord for complete healing; but he\u2019s very healthy and you wouldn\u2019t know it, by being around him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve already talked about this, Erin; but you mentioned in your book that\u00a0\u00a0 50 percent of moms are exhausted, discouraged\u2014they\u2019re losing heart in well-doing.\u00a0 And 25 percent of them are clinically depressed!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If this is the general flow and the tenor of motherhood, moms are talking to each other.\u00a0\u00a0 You wonder, along with the pain of giving birth, it\u2019s kind of like, \u201cSo why are any of these choosing to have children?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, moms are talking to each other.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure we\u2019re doing each other any favors in the way that we\u2019re talking about motherhood.\u00a0 We have to learn to have new conversations.\u00a0 You go to a play date; and, \u201cI was up all night,\u201d and this and that.\u00a0 For some reason, it\u2019s the culture of moms.\u00a0 When we\u2019re together, we compare complaints.\u00a0 That\u2019s one huge problem.\u00a0\u00a0 You know, it is part of the script.\u00a0 I think a lot of us do the things\u2014we graduate from college, and then we get married, and then we get the job, and then, \u201cWhat\u2019s the next thing on the script?\u201d\u00a0 Well, we have kids; and we have the baby shower.\u00a0 You know, we do the things.\u00a0 We follow the script.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is the problem that women aren\u2019t having children; but there\u2019s the secondary problem, which is that women are having children but don\u2019t have a Kingdom vision for it.\u00a0 They\u2019re miserable because if it\u2019s really just about changing diapers, and doing laundry, and shuffling to soccer practice\u2014if that\u2019s the bottom line, if that\u2019s the ultimate goal for what you\u2019re doing with your time, that can be so overwhelming and so over-burdensome, that if you don\u2019t have a higher vision, a higher picture, that God could use it for something bigger\u2014you\u2019re going to complain and you\u2019re going to be miserable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know\u2014for me to say this, there are some women who are about to say, \u201cYes, it\u2019s easy for you to say,\u201d but honestly, in a lot of life, you get the choice of, \u201cAm I going to focus on the hard parts of what I\u2019m assigned to or find the joy in what I\u2019m assigned to and make that my focus?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And as a mom, if you want to focus on the parts that are hard, there are plenty of those to focus on; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about boxes, some, in this series.\u00a0 I think we like to put blessings in a box and burdens in a box.\u00a0 I wonder, \u201cWhat if blessings and burdens are in cahoots?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, what if they could work together?\u00a0 What if the best things for us aren\u2019t just the things that feel good or that are easy?\u00a0 What if we could be blessed by being challenged?\u00a0 Who wants a plain, old boring life, where they\u2019re never challenged and everything\u2019s roses?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome people might want that, maybe just for a day; but you know, \u201cWhat if we could just really redefine blessing and burdens?\u201d\u00a0 The Bible tells us to \u201cDo all things without grumbling and complaining,\u201d including mothering.\u00a0 That\u2019s a hard thing to do in our culture because I think there\u2019s a message that, \u201cYes, it\u2019s hard,\u201d and, \u201cYes, vent about it all you need to,\u201d and, \u201cWe need to hear how many times you were up at night and what discipline problems you\u2019re having with Joey,\u201d and on, and on, and on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Erin, I think you just named one of the books you\u2019ll write some day<em>, Blessings and Burdens are in Cahoots<\/em>.\u00a0 I can tell you, from now having been married 40 years, and having been through some mountaintop experiences with our children and grandchildren, and some dark, deep valleys, that it\u2019s in the valley, in those dark moments, when there\u2019s growth, there\u2019s perspective.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe prayer that Barbara found when we were going through the process of losing a granddaughter who only lived seven days\u2014her name was Molly\u2014Barbara found a prayer that talked about how in the darkest, deepest well we can see the stars in the middle of the day.\u00a0 We see God from those dark, deep valleys.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think you\u2019re right.\u00a0 I think the Bible teaches that blessings and burdens press us hard against God.\u00a0 It could be that the burdens do a better job of pressing us against God and causing us to be dependent than the mountaintops.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 A shared friend of ours, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, says that anything that causes us to depend on God is a good thing.\u00a0 Boy, does parenthood cause you to depend on God.\u00a0 It drives you to your knees in prayer.\u00a0 It reveals raw spots of lack of self-control, lack of patience, all of those things.\u00a0 It makes you realize He\u2019s the vine; I\u2019m just a branch\u2014and I\u2019m a branch in desperate need to cling.\u00a0 We want things to go easy for us; but they go easy for us and there\u2019s no smoothing out of the rough places when things are real smooth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you think when an older mom comes along and says, \u201cErin, enjoy these days.\u00a0 They go by so fast.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ve heard that from the moms who say that; and you\u2019re in the middle of the diapers and you go, \u201cWhere do I find the joy here because, honestly, most days have more burden than blessing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s a choice.\u00a0 There\u2019s no taking away the diapers.\u00a0 There\u2019s no taking away the temper tantrums.\u00a0 For me, one of the things about motherhood that\u2019s hard for me is the monotony.\u00a0 It\u2019s like, the same schedule\u2014<em>Groundhog Day<\/em>, over, and over, and over, and over again\u2014but I have to choose.\u00a0 It is a choice\u2014to fix my eyes on a bigger picture and ask God to show me a bigger picture.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, God.\u00a0 What are you doing with these little tasks?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen, moms, you do not have time in your day for friends who are complainers.\u00a0 You do not have time in your day for friends who would like to minimize the view of motherhood, who would like to focus on that.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t have time.\u00a0 So, you surround yourself with women who maybe are further down the path, or maybe women who are right there with you, that are encouragers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have the most fun in the world with my other mom friends who have kids who are the same age.\u00a0 We just do it together.\u00a0 We\u2019re not doing anything glamorous.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know the last time we went to a movie, but we\u2019re together.\u00a0 We\u2019re doing finger paint, we\u2019re living life together, and we\u2019re having a good time.\u00a0 I guess you choose your attitude in it, and you look beyond that moment.\u00a0 I hear that it doesn\u2019t last forever.\u00a0 I\u2019m not to that point, but that\u2019s what I hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That little play land at the Chick-Fil-A<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has kind of become your best\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 That\u2019s my office!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the point is:\u00a0 It\u2019s a season.\u00a0 You\u2019ve heard that; and I know all moms hear the older moms say, \u201cOh, treasure it while you can.\u201d\u00a0 It is a season.\u00a0 You invest well in the season you\u2019re in, and there are dividends that get paid later on.\u00a0 You just have to keep perspective, even when you\u2019re tired, even when it\u2019s been a hard day.\u00a0 You have to keep perspective about where you are and the job that God\u2019s given you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, Erin, you have provided a lot of encouragement for young moms in writing the book, <em>Beyond Bath Time<\/em>, which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how to get a copy of Erin\u2019s book, and there\u2019s information there about other resources we have for moms.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also call us if you have any questions or you\u2019d like to order a copy of Erin\u2019s book by phone.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number:\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to say a quick word of thanks to those of you who have been long-time listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; but up until the last couple of weeks, we had never heard from you.\u00a0 You\u2019d never gotten in touch with us to make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and we mentioned to you that we\u2019d like to hear from you.\u00a0 Some of you have stepped forward and said, \u201cHere we are.\u00a0 We\u2019re out here and we wanted to let you know it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate you getting in touch with us.\u00a0 We appreciate you making a first-time donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We have been saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who made a first-time donation by sending you the movie, <em>October Baby<\/em>, which is not yet out on DVD; but we have some advance copies.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been sending those out as thank- you gifts to first-time contributors to the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve also been making available a gift certificate to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>marriage getaway to first-time donors who have been able to give $100 or more this month.\u00a0 A number of you have called in and made that $100 donation.\u00a0 We appreciate your support of the ministry, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur goal this month is to hear from 2,500 new friends of the ministry.\u00a0 We\u2019re still a ways away from that goal.\u00a0 So, if you\u2019re a regular listener and you\u2019ve never made a donation, would you consider calling this week?\u00a0 Make a donation, whatever you can afford.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you the <em>October Baby<\/em> DVD when you get in touch with us.\u00a0 If your donation is $100 or more, we\u2019ll send you a certificate for a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway that you can use for yourself or pass along to someone else you know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMake your donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Thanks again for getting in touch with us this month and for letting us know that you\u2019re out there and that you\u2019re listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me encourage you to be back with us again, tomorrow, when we\u2019re going to continue talking about the joys of motherhood.\u00a0 Tracey Eyster joins us tomorrow as we continue that conversation.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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9% of high school girls say they want to be mothers.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why is it that more and more women who aren\u2019t moms don\u2019t want to be moms?\u00a0 And why is it that so many women who are moms are frustrated?\u00a0 Here\u2019s Erin Davis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is the problem that women are having children but don\u2019t have a Kingdom vision for it.\u00a0 They\u2019re miserable because if it\u2019s really just about changing diapers, and doing laundry, and shuffling to soccer practice\u2014if that\u2019s the bottom line, if that\u2019s the ultimate goal for what you\u2019re doing with your time, and if you don\u2019t have a higher vision, a higher picture, that God could use it for something bigger\u2014you\u2019re going to complain, and you\u2019re going to be miserable. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, August 22<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0\u00a0 Do you have a Kingdom vision for the assignment God has given you as a mom?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today. Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 What were the circumstances around which Barbara gave you the news that you guys were expecting your first child?\u00a0 Do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was back before the earth\u2019s crust\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014had hardened.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 There were no strips; there were no tests.\u00a0 It was, \u201cGo to the doctor and find out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And did she call you?\u00a0 Did you go with her to the doctor?\u00a0 Do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Uh, you know\u2014I just tell you\u2014I don\u2019t remember, but I\u2019m sure she came home from the doctor and announced to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember when you found out about number six\u2014that you were pregnant with your sixth?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember the exact moment.\u00a0 I do remember, for Barbara, it was a sad moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was not looking forward to that pregnancy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it was more of self had to die, and you kind of know that after five\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember clearly, Mary Ann showing up at work.\u00a0 I had no clue that she was even suspicious that she might be pregnant.\u00a0 She walked in to where I was working, unexpectedly, middle of the day.\u00a0 I said, \u201cWhat are you doing here?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cI have news;\u201d and she told me we were expecting.\u00a0 We smiled, and we hugged, and we kissed.\u00a0 I remember that.\u00a0 I also remember, with our last child, buying the pregnancy test at Sam\u2019s<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and her going into the bathroom, there at Sam\u2019s, and walking out, nodding her head!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the difference between first and fifth.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right\u2014a very different experience.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re going to talk about motherhood.\u00a0 Those of you who listen to our broadcast regularly know we are bullish on moms.\u00a0 We\u2019re bullish on kids\u2014we\u2019re all about them.\u00a0 We think, as Neil Postman has said, they \u201care the living messengers we send to a time we will not see.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re talking to Erin Davis about her new book, <em>Beyond Bath Time<\/em>.\u00a0 Erin, welcome back. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Erin, you have a quote in your book that I want you to read to our listeners.\u00a0 It really speaks of our attitude and where we get our attitude about children and motherhood today.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually by another author.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 It\u2019s by author Rachel Jankovic, who I think is really smart.\u00a0 She wrote a book called <em>Loving the Little Years.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>She\u2019s blogging about motherhood; and she wrote this:\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYears ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things.\u00a0 When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.\u00a0 Children rank way below college, below world travel for sure, below the ability to go out at night at your leisure, below honing your body at the gym, below any job you may have or hope to get.\u00a0 In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do.\u00a0 Below everything, children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.\u00a0 If you grew up in this culture, it\u2019s very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you write in your book that high school girls\u2014about nine percent of them think that someday they want to be a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s astounding!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Only nine percent say, \u201cYes! I want to be a mom.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I think\u2014I don\u2019t know your listeners, but I think a lot of them\u2014that might just [zoom] right over their heads and think, \u201cThat can\u2019t be right, that only nine percent of young women would want to be mothers.\u201d\u00a0 I can tell you, as somebody who works extensively with young women, that might even be a little high.\u00a0 They don\u2019t want to be moms. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re speaking of single women, at this point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 The desires of Christian young women to be married and have children are absolutely in the toilet.\u00a0 I could cite you some numbers but they wouldn\u2019t be as interesting as the stories of the young women that I encounter who love the Lord, passionately love the Lord.\u00a0 I\u2019ll say, \u201cWhat do you want to do with your life?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI want to have a ministry!\u201d which, to them, looks like something very official in some sort of ministry box.\u00a0 I\u2019ll say, \u201cDo you want to be married?\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019ll say, \u201cWell, if God brings me a husband, I\u2019d be open to that,\u201d \u2014which, you guys know\u2014you talk about marriage numbers all the time.\u00a0 Those of us who are married\u2014as adults, we\u2019re very close to becoming the minority for the first time in history.\u00a0 Imagine that trajectory, just ten years down the road, when the teenagers at my church are of marrying age.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe number of married adults just continues to go down; but the number that continues to go up is married couples who choose childlessness\u2014not couples whose childlessness chooses them, not people who are not yet married, but Christian couples who assume can get pregnant, but choose not to get pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say the majority of young women that I interact with through speaking, and teaching, and through my church say, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be a mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be a mom, ever.\u201d\u00a0 The number one rival for that is that they want to have a career.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I listen to that hang in the air; and it\u2019s like, \u201cReally?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cReally?\u201d\u00a0 It was true of you, as well.\u00a0 You didn\u2019t want to be a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You start your book with a story that is really an interesting story because you found out you were pregnant and you immediately embraced that; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did not!\u00a0 The way that I broke the news to my husband that we were having our first child was by sitting on the edge of our bed and sobbing!\u00a0 I just couldn\u2019t fathom how that was going to work.\u00a0 Twelve weeks pregnant, not very far along at all, we went to have an ultrasound.\u00a0 The doctor called that afternoon.\u00a0 I was getting ready to travel for work.\u00a0 She said, \u201cThere\u2019s something wrong with the baby.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, I\u2019m getting ready to go on a work trip.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to have to wait.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cIt can\u2019t wait.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be seeing a specialist on Monday morning.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we spent that weekend doing a lot of praying, not really sure how we felt, honestly.\u00a0 We went to see a neonatologist.\u00a0 They did another ultrasound, and she had terrible bedside manner.\u00a0 I was lying on the table.\u00a0 I just had the ultrasound; and she barged in the door and said, \u201cYour baby\u2019s bladder is blocked.\u00a0 He\u2019s not going to survive this pregnancy.\u00a0 If he does, he\u2019s going to be very disabled.\u00a0 My suggestion is that you abort him.\u00a0 Are you going to abort him or not?\u201d and put a clipboard in my face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 It was that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was literally that intense and that heartless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And people talk about kind of the room going dark.\u00a0 That\u2019s what happened.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what to say.\u00a0 I certainly didn\u2019t know what to feel.\u00a0 I deferred to my husband Jason and he said, \u201cWell, we\u2019re not going to abort the baby.\u00a0 So what are our options?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen that\u2019s how you learn about becoming a mom, it\u2019s not about tiny clothes.\u00a0 It\u2019s not about painting a nursery.\u00a0 Suddenly, the reality of motherhood was very, very clear to me.\u00a0 When that bomb hit, in the form of a healthy baby boy named Elisha, who was miraculously healed of that bladder blockage, the shock was almost too much for me.\u00a0 Here, I wanted him\u2014I prayed through that pregnancy\u2014and then, the reality of motherhood\u2014which is that it was very, very demanding\u2014really sent me reeling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So let me kind of chart the emotional arc here; okay?\u00a0 You find out you\u2019re pregnant.\u00a0 You\u2019re very sad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I feel dread.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to be pregnant.\u00a0 Close to finding out you\u2019re pregnant, you find out that this baby\u2019s life is threatened; and an abortion is recommended.\u00a0 Your husband says, \u201cWe\u2019re not going to do that;\u201d and you supported that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn\u2019t want to abort.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that was never an option.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But at the same time, you\u2019re now going through a pregnancy with the expectation that, \u201cWe\u2019re going to have a child who may not survive; and if he does, is going to be physically disabled.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re preparing yourself for that, emotionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 We watched him very closely.\u00a0 We had ultrasounds every week.\u00a0 Imagine, from 12 weeks to 40 weeks, we see that little guy. They\u2019re monitoring that bladder blockage\u2014which, that seems like no big deal; but that\u2019s how babies, in the womb, process amniotic fluid.\u00a0 We\u2019re assuming his kidneys don\u2019t work.\u00a0 We\u2019re assuming his lungs don\u2019t work, and we\u2019re watching him every week.\u00a0 Every week his bladder is bigger, and bigger, and bigger, until the day that he was to be born, his bladder on ultrasound filled his entire abdomen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was a specialist team, waiting in the surgery room, to whisk him away.\u00a0 We packed suitcases for weeks, with the expectation that that baby was going to the NICU; and we didn\u2019t know when we\u2019d get him back.\u00a0 I felt every emotion there is to feel.\u00a0 I think there\u2019s a mothering instinct that kicked on early on, which, of course, I wanted that baby to survive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 You wanted to bring forth life!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 Of course, I wanted him to survive.\u00a0 I loved him so much.\u00a0 Seeing that little profile on his ultrasounds week, after week, after week; and then, there was also this kind of undercurrent of dread, \u201cWhat if he does, and what\u2019s being a mom going to be like?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, now tell the truth.\u00a0 Did that begin to kind of pale in significance to giving life?\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It did.\u00a0 During the pregnancy, it absolutely did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your initial response was to cry and sob.\u00a0 \u201cMy life is ruined.\u00a0 What am I going to do?\u00a0 I\u2019ve got these two degrees.\u00a0 I had my career staked out.\u00a0 We were going to give our lives for \u2018the ministry\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 But that kind of goes away as you think about the purposeful nature of becoming a mom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I got down to the nitty-gritty of what parenthood is much sooner than a lot of other first-time pregnant moms do because they\u2019re thinking about, \u201cIs it a boy or a girl?\u00a0 What am I going to name him?\u00a0 How am I going to decorate the nursery?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I didn\u2019t care about any of that because I didn\u2019t even know if I was going to be able to bring him home.\u00a0 So, I was really thinking deeper, a lot sooner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you know when those dread feelings started to come back?\u00a0 After he was healed, and we were home, and I was in this mom-business, full-time.\u00a0 I was exhausted, and he was demanding.\u00a0 Then, I was back in this tug-of-war\u2014like, here, I should feel so thankful that he\u2019s healed and he\u2019s healthy\u2014and yet, this is really hard!\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure this is what I signed up for.\u00a0 Everything that I was worried might happen, as far as making sacrifices has happened.\u00a0 It was an emotional roller-coaster.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have to ask, and this\u2014I almost hesitate to ask\u2014but I put myself in that situation.\u00a0 I think I probably would have been tempted to pray, \u201cLord, if he\u2019s not going to live or not be healthy, take him now.\u201d\u00a0 Did you pray a prayer like that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 It was one of those seasons of my life when I didn\u2019t know what to pray.\u00a0 I think I mostly prayed for nine months, \u201cLet him live.\u00a0 Let him live.\u00a0 Let him live.\u00a0 Let him live.\u00a0 Let him live.\u201d\u00a0 It was one of those sweet times in my life when the body of Christ stood in the gap for me and prayed for me.\u00a0 There were women in my church who gathered and laid hands on me often.\u00a0 Our church was praying for us.\u00a0 We gathered our elders in our church and they prayed for us.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have\u2014I didn\u2019t know what to pray, and so others were praying for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you kind of took us from, \u201cHe was born with a bladder that was the size of half his abdomen,\u201d to, \u201cHe\u2019s home and he\u2019s healthy.\u201d\u00a0 How\u2019d that happen?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I love to tell that story.\u00a0 We had a team waiting.\u00a0 We had a top pediatric urologist and his team.\u00a0 They were scrubbed up.\u00a0 They were going to take this boy, who my husband named Elisha because it means \u201cGod saves.\u201d\u00a0 I wanted to name him something different.\u00a0 My husband said, \u201cI\u2019ve changed his name to Elisha.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cThe baby, that\u2019s in my tummy\u2014you\u2019ve changed his name?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cIt means \u2018God saves.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 At that time, I said, \u201cWell, He might not save him.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cGod still saves; so we\u2019re naming him Elisha.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I want you to finish the story; but I have to interrupt you and say, before you get to the medical and what took place with that team, after he was born, did you hold him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t immediately; but within that day, I did hold him.\u00a0 I had a really difficult delivery, and I was on a lot of medicine; but I do remember when I did hold him\u2014my goodness, he was a cute little guy!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What emotion was taking place there?\u00a0 Did you weep?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if our language has a word for that emotion that a parent feels the first time they see their baby.\u00a0 Love seems cheap, and I don\u2019t think there is a word for that.\u00a0 It\u2019s absolutely overwhelming, the first time that you see that little face that I\u2019d just seen in an ultrasound.\u00a0 There he was, in the flesh, Elisha.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright.\u00a0 Go ahead and tell the rest of the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 The pediatric urologist was there; his nurses were there.\u00a0 They were all scrubbed up, masks on.\u00a0 They had a cart ready to take him to NICU.\u00a0 The thing, with the bladder being blocked, is they didn\u2019t think he was going to be able to pee.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if I can say that on radio, but I did.\u00a0 So, Elisha came out; and he peed on the nurses.\u00a0 He peed on the doctors.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 He peed all over the table.\u00a0 Clearly, that blockage came out, at the time of his birth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 The surgeon said, \u201cYou just bought yourself a ticket out of the NICU, buddy.\u201d\u00a0 He never went to surgery.\u00a0 He\u2019s four and he has some hydronephrosis, which is, some fluid backed up in his kidneys.\u00a0 He has one small kidney and one normal-sized kidney; but he\u2019s a very normal boy, and we\u2019re continuing to pray.\u00a0 Every year, when we go for an annual ultrasound, we ask the Lord for complete healing; but he\u2019s very healthy and you wouldn\u2019t know it, by being around him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve already talked about this, Erin; but you mentioned in your book that\u00a0\u00a0 50 percent of moms are exhausted, discouraged\u2014they\u2019re losing heart in well-doing.\u00a0 And 25 percent of them are clinically depressed!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If this is the general flow and the tenor of motherhood, moms are talking to each other.\u00a0\u00a0 You wonder, along with the pain of giving birth, it\u2019s kind of like, \u201cSo why are any of these choosing to have children?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, moms are talking to each other.\u00a0 I\u2019m not sure we\u2019re doing each other any favors in the way that we\u2019re talking about motherhood.\u00a0 We have to learn to have new conversations.\u00a0 You go to a play date; and, \u201cI was up all night,\u201d and this and that.\u00a0 For some reason, it\u2019s the culture of moms.\u00a0 When we\u2019re together, we compare complaints.\u00a0 That\u2019s one huge problem.\u00a0\u00a0 You know, it is part of the script.\u00a0 I think a lot of us do the things\u2014we graduate from college, and then we get married, and then we get the job, and then, \u201cWhat\u2019s the next thing on the script?\u201d\u00a0 Well, we have kids; and we have the baby shower.\u00a0 You know, we do the things.\u00a0 We follow the script.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is the problem that women aren\u2019t having children; but there\u2019s the secondary problem, which is that women are having children but don\u2019t have a Kingdom vision for it.\u00a0 They\u2019re miserable because if it\u2019s really just about changing diapers, and doing laundry, and shuffling to soccer practice\u2014if that\u2019s the bottom line, if that\u2019s the ultimate goal for what you\u2019re doing with your time, that can be so overwhelming and so over-burdensome, that if you don\u2019t have a higher vision, a higher picture, that God could use it for something bigger\u2014you\u2019re going to complain and you\u2019re going to be miserable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know\u2014for me to say this, there are some women who are about to say, \u201cYes, it\u2019s easy for you to say,\u201d but honestly, in a lot of life, you get the choice of, \u201cAm I going to focus on the hard parts of what I\u2019m assigned to or find the joy in what I\u2019m assigned to and make that my focus?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And as a mom, if you want to focus on the parts that are hard, there are plenty of those to focus on; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about boxes, some, in this series.\u00a0 I think we like to put blessings in a box and burdens in a box.\u00a0 I wonder, \u201cWhat if blessings and burdens are in cahoots?\u201d\u00a0 I mean, what if they could work together?\u00a0 What if the best things for us aren\u2019t just the things that feel good or that are easy?\u00a0 What if we could be blessed by being challenged?\u00a0 Who wants a plain, old boring life, where they\u2019re never challenged and everything\u2019s roses?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome people might want that, maybe just for a day; but you know, \u201cWhat if we could just really redefine blessing and burdens?\u201d\u00a0 The Bible tells us to \u201cDo all things without grumbling and complaining,\u201d including mothering.\u00a0 That\u2019s a hard thing to do in our culture because I think there\u2019s a message that, \u201cYes, it\u2019s hard,\u201d and, \u201cYes, vent about it all you need to,\u201d and, \u201cWe need to hear how many times you were up at night and what discipline problems you\u2019re having with Joey,\u201d and on, and on, and on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Erin, I think you just named one of the books you\u2019ll write some day<em>, Blessings and Burdens are in Cahoots<\/em>.\u00a0 I can tell you, from now having been married 40 years, and having been through some mountaintop experiences with our children and grandchildren, and some dark, deep valleys, that it\u2019s in the valley, in those dark moments, when there\u2019s growth, there\u2019s perspective.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe prayer that Barbara found when we were going through the process of losing a granddaughter who only lived seven days\u2014her name was Molly\u2014Barbara found a prayer that talked about how in the darkest, deepest well we can see the stars in the middle of the day.\u00a0 We see God from those dark, deep valleys.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think you\u2019re right.\u00a0 I think the Bible teaches that blessings and burdens press us hard against God.\u00a0 It could be that the burdens do a better job of pressing us against God and causing us to be dependent than the mountaintops.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 A shared friend of ours, Nancy Leigh DeMoss, says that anything that causes us to depend on God is a good thing.\u00a0 Boy, does parenthood cause you to depend on God.\u00a0 It drives you to your knees in prayer.\u00a0 It reveals raw spots of lack of self-control, lack of patience, all of those things.\u00a0 It makes you realize He\u2019s the vine; I\u2019m just a branch\u2014and I\u2019m a branch in desperate need to cling.\u00a0 We want things to go easy for us; but they go easy for us and there\u2019s no smoothing out of the rough places when things are real smooth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you think when an older mom comes along and says, \u201cErin, enjoy these days.\u00a0 They go by so fast.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ve heard that from the moms who say that; and you\u2019re in the middle of the diapers and you go, \u201cWhere do I find the joy here because, honestly, most days have more burden than blessing?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What do you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s a choice.\u00a0 There\u2019s no taking away the diapers.\u00a0 There\u2019s no taking away the temper tantrums.\u00a0 For me, one of the things about motherhood that\u2019s hard for me is the monotony.\u00a0 It\u2019s like, the same schedule\u2014<em>Groundhog Day<\/em>, over, and over, and over, and over again\u2014but I have to choose.\u00a0 It is a choice\u2014to fix my eyes on a bigger picture and ask God to show me a bigger picture.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, God.\u00a0 What are you doing with these little tasks?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tListen, moms, you do not have time in your day for friends who are complainers.\u00a0 You do not have time in your day for friends who would like to minimize the view of motherhood, who would like to focus on that.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t have time.\u00a0 So, you surround yourself with women who maybe are further down the path, or maybe women who are right there with you, that are encouragers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have the most fun in the world with my other mom friends who have kids who are the same age.\u00a0 We just do it together.\u00a0 We\u2019re not doing anything glamorous.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know the last time we went to a movie, but we\u2019re together.\u00a0 We\u2019re doing finger paint, we\u2019re living life together, and we\u2019re having a good time.\u00a0 I guess you choose your attitude in it, and you look beyond that moment.\u00a0 I hear that it doesn\u2019t last forever.\u00a0 I\u2019m not to that point, but that\u2019s what I hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That little play land at the Chick-Fil-A<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> has kind of become your best\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Erin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 That\u2019s my office!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the point is:\u00a0 It\u2019s a season.\u00a0 You\u2019ve heard that; and I know all moms hear the older moms say, \u201cOh, treasure it while you can.\u201d\u00a0 It is a season.\u00a0 You invest well in the season you\u2019re in, and there are dividends that get paid later on.\u00a0 You just have to keep perspective, even when you\u2019re tired, even when it\u2019s been a hard day.\u00a0 You have to keep perspective about where you are and the job that God\u2019s given you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, Erin, you have provided a lot of encouragement for young moms in writing the book, <em>Beyond Bath Time<\/em>, which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how to get a copy of Erin\u2019s book, and there\u2019s information there about other resources we have for moms.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also call us if you have any questions or you\u2019d like to order a copy of Erin\u2019s book by phone.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY is our number:\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we want to say a quick word of thanks to those of you who have been long-time listeners to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>; but up until the last couple of weeks, we had never heard from you.\u00a0 You\u2019d never gotten in touch with us to make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and we mentioned to you that we\u2019d like to hear from you.\u00a0 Some of you have stepped forward and said, \u201cHere we are.\u00a0 We\u2019re out here and we wanted to let you know it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate you getting in touch with us.\u00a0 We appreciate you making a first-time donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We have been saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who made a first-time donation by sending you the movie, <em>October Baby<\/em>, which is not yet out on DVD; but we have some advance copies.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been sending those out as thank- you gifts to first-time contributors to the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve also been making available a gift certificate to the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>marriage getaway to first-time donors who have been able to give $100 or more this month.\u00a0 A number of you have called in and made that $100 donation.\u00a0 We appreciate your support of the ministry, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur goal this month is to hear from 2,500 new friends of the ministry.\u00a0 We\u2019re still a ways away from that goal.\u00a0 So, if you\u2019re a regular listener and you\u2019ve never made a donation, would you consider calling this week?\u00a0 Make a donation, whatever you can afford.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you the <em>October Baby<\/em> DVD when you get in touch with us.\u00a0 If your donation is $100 or more, we\u2019ll send you a certificate for a <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaway that you can use for yourself or pass along to someone else you know.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMake your donation, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Thanks again for getting in touch with us this month and for letting us know that you\u2019re out there and that you\u2019re listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me encourage you to be back with us again, tomorrow, when we\u2019re going to continue talking about the joys of motherhood.\u00a0 Tracey Eyster joins us tomorrow as we continue that conversation.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302578"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302578"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302578"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302578"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}