{"id":302571,"date":"2012-08-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-challenges-of-freedom\/"},"modified":"2012-08-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-13T15:00:00","slug":"the-challenges-of-freedom","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-challenges-of-freedom\/","title":{"rendered":"The Challenges of Freedom"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You&#8217;ve graduated, and the next chapter of your life is about to begin.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-13.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.7M","filesize_raw":"24853077","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2814],"tags":[4705,4988],"podcast_series":[7892],"cwp_profile":[3373],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302571","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-releasing-your-child","tag-college","tag-graduation","podcast_series-independence-day","cwp_profile-michael-and-hayley-dimarco","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302571\/the-challenges-of-freedom","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302571\/the-challenges-of-freedom","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"dsCH8MSoGu\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-challenges-of-freedom\/\">The Challenges of Freedom<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-challenges-of-freedom\/embed\/#?secret=dsCH8MSoGu\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Challenges of Freedom&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"dsCH8MSoGu\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-13.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-13.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Graduation from high school is still a long way in the future for Michael and Hayley DiMarco\u2019s daughter, but Michael and Hayley are already planning for that day.\u00a0 One of the key lessons they\u2019re trying to teach their daughter is how to handle inevitable failure and sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 We want our relationship with our daughter to be one where we create a culture in our home, which is centered around learning how to rebound from sin, instead of having a relationship\u2014a parent\/child relationship\u2014where it\u2019s all about sin-avoidance and sin-concealment because we\u2019re afraid of the consequences.\u00a0 We want to be the first place that she comes when she messes up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 13<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about what moms and dads can do to make sure their sons and daughters are ready for \u201cindependence day\u201d \u2014a day of freedom, temptation, and opportunity.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, I\u2019ve been thinking about that moment when a son or a daughter graduates from high school and then heads off to whatever is the next chapter of life.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been thinking about it because our son is about to head off to his next chapter of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dare we mention that this is <em>the last?<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is the beginning of the empty nest for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is the last Lepine arrow to be launched toward the target.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t know who is feeling more like liberation is on the horizon?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s him or me!\u00a0 Both of us are kind of looking at it as the next chapter of life\u2014 for Mary Ann and me\u2014but also, it\u2019s the next chapter of life for David as he heads off to college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ve got a great resource for David as he heads to college.\u00a0 This would be great to put in his hands as you kiss him, and probably cry a little bit, and pray over him as you launch him, in this case, toward college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a resource here that Michael and Hayley DiMarco have written\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now let me just get this straight.\u00a0 When you say you\u2019ve got this resource for David, are you saying you\u2019re going to give it to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ahh.\u00a0 Well, I could do that.\u00a0 Do you think it would be better coming from me than from you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just trying to figure out whether I\u2019m going to have to buy it or whether it\u2019s a gift from you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go home and tell Mary Ann, \u201cDennis promised to give us this book,\u201d and then have you renig on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll spring for it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just checking!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019ll even get the authors to sign it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 Alright!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because they\u2019re right across the table!\u00a0 Michael, Hayley, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Michael and Hayley DiMarco work in a ministry called Hungry Planet.\u00a0 Hayley is the founder and Michael is the publisher and creative director.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve ever seen any of their books, you know they are a great tag-team couple.\u00a0 They are talented and extremely gifted\u2014a number of best-selling books.\u00a0 They live in Nashville with their daughter.\u00a0 They have written a book that would be great to put in the hands of your son or daughter as they pull out of the driveway and head off to <em>Independence Day<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s the name of the book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to start the broadcast\u2014I think this would just be kind of fun and interesting\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ll start with Hayley; and we\u2019ll go around the table clockwise here:\u00a0 What was your independence day like for you?\u00a0 Take us back there when you went to college\/ to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re talking about high school graduation?\u00a0 Is that what you\u2019re talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s really not high school graduation.\u00a0 It is as you pulled out of the driveway and left home on your independence day, which is just around the corner for a lot of our listeners, like you, Bob, with David.\u00a0 Hayley, do you remember it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, mine was kind of gradual because when I graduated from high school, I stayed home for the next year.\u00a0 I went to a university right next to us\u2014saved a little money, stayed home.\u00a0 That was kind of, you know, slowly moving away from my mom.\u00a0 It was not until sophomore year that I moved to the big city on my own.\u00a0 That was like a dream come true.\u00a0 I had planned for that my whole life\u2014getting out of that small town and getting to a big city.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was it emotional?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\u00a0 My mom and I were very, very close\u2014still are.\u00a0 I cried for the first hour, driving away; but once I got there, it was awesome.\u00a0 I will say that, for me, it was challenging because I wasn\u2019t really taught some of the things we\u2019re talking about in this book\u2014what it meant even how to live on my own.\u00a0 It was just like it happened one day\u2014I was in the car and I was gone.\u00a0 There I was!\u00a0 I was just beside myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cNow, what do I do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I literally didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know how to cook.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know how to take care of my house.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know how to get around\u2014I moved to a big city.\u00a0 It was a challenge\u2014it really was!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So that was your biggest surprise?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes!\u00a0 Living was the biggest challenge for me.\u00a0 \u201cHow do I survive?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, Michael, what about you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember it like it was yesterday because my whole life\u2014I just wanted to move out.\u00a0 My parents\u2014I loved them.\u00a0 They did their best\u2014well, I don\u2019t know about that.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 They really <em>seemed <\/em>to be trying hard.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 They <em>thought<\/em> they did their best.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, look what happened!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was getting ready to say that!\u00a0 I really was, but I was holding back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t wait to move out, even though I had a university that I was going to attend in my hometown, as well.\u00a0 Within three weeks of my high school graduation, I had moved out.\u00a0 I moved into a two-bedroom apartment with three guys.\u00a0 We were just jammed in there like sardines.\u00a0 It was just scary!\u00a0 It was like walking a high wire without a net; and it was awesome because I was lord of my domain\u2014even though my domain was like a 12-by-12-foot bedroom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Biggest surprise?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 The biggest surprise was how little I could live on and how unhealthy I could eat on a limited budget. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ditto!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re going to skip Bob because Bob still lives at home with his mother. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s terrible!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m kidding!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is terrible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about you, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I\u2019m just sitting here thinking about the summer after ninth grade.\u00a0 I went to a leadership training program at a camp.\u00a0 I was there and at the end of our leadership training program, they said to some of us, \u201cIf you\u2019d like to stay and work in the equipment shed, we\u2019d give you room and board.\u201d\u00a0 I wound up staying the whole summer.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t make any money, but I stayed at camp all summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next summer I went back, and the next summer I went back, and the next summer I went back.\u00a0 Honestly, those summers at camp were kind of my unplugging, in a gradual sense, so that when graduation came, and I spent the summer at camp, and then I went on to college, it really didn\u2019t feel all that consequential to me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was kind of like I had been emotionally unplugged from home.\u00a0 I was the last one.\u00a0 It was just Mom, Dad, and me.\u00a0 I had kind of been living in my own world throughout most of high school.\u00a0 I got to college, and I waved goodbye to Mom in the parking lot, and walked into the dorm room.\u00a0 Life went on kind of like it had been going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No bigs, then.\u00a0 No big emotional\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The big surprise for me was\u2014I had a great group of friends in high school and had been in a good high school environment.\u00a0 The big surprise was how hard the adjustment to first year of college was\u2014how lonely I was, how unplugged I was, how unprepared I was for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was back in the days when long distance still cost something.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t just free on your cell phone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember running up significant long distance bills just to stay connected to my old friends because I hadn\u2019t made new friends yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 For me, I can still remember standing in the\u2014our driveway wasn\u2019t asphalt.\u00a0 It was chat\u2014white gravel.\u00a0 I had probably shot at least 9.5 million hoops on that driveway, growing up as a boy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dribbling in the gravel?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dribbling in the gravel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hey, it was where the basketball goal was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No wonder your skills were what they were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it!\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 But I was going away to a junior college on basketball scholarship, by the way.\u00a0 I remember my mom and dad standing in that driveway.\u00a0 Even now, it could conjure up a bunch of emotions because he seemed particularly tall and she seemed small.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s just kind of freeze-framed in my mind.\u00a0 It was a powerful emotional moment\u2014getting in my four-door Impala, with everything I owned in the back seat to go to junior college, pulling out of the driveway, and waving goodbye to my parents.\u00a0 It was a big deal\u2014a big deal!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy biggest surprise was my mid-term grade point average.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes?\u00a0 It was a good thing it was a basketball scholarship and not an academic scholarship; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, hey!\u00a0 Let me tell you, I turned things around and turned it into a 2.1.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 It was a massive turn-around at that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have to tell you\u2014 now, having been at the other side of that independence day\u2014dropping off four kids and about to drop off a fifth one at college\u2014it had significantly more emotional impact on me, on the other side, than it did when I was being dropped off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As the parent letting go\u2014I\u2019ve told a lot of people this\u2014it was much harder to pull away from college than to walk a daughter down the aisle and give her away in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, in a sense, it <em>is <\/em>independence day!\u00a0 It\u2019s game time!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All the lessons you\u2019ve taught them are right there; and, Michael, that\u2019s why you wrote the book; right?\u00a0 I mean, you outline three issues that come with independence day:\u00a0 freedom, temptation, and opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 One of the main reasons that I wrote the book was I wanted to write a book that I would have read\u2014not just that I <em>needed <\/em>to read when I was a senior, graduating and going into college, but a book that I would <em>want <\/em>to read because I didn\u2019t like to read much when I graduated\u2014my grades showed it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing was\u2014when we proposed this book to the publisher, they said, \u201cWell, can we leave \u2018temptation\u2019 off of the subtitle on the cover? You know:\u00a0 <em>Graduating into a New World of Freedom, Temptation, and Opportunity<\/em>.\u00a0 Can we leave \u2018temptation\u2019 off because this is a celebratory time?\u00a0 Can we just leave that off?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cNo!\u201d because that\u2019s one of the biggest things that our graduating students need to know about and they\u2019re ill-prepared for\u2014mostly, is that issue of temptation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Everyone says they want freedom\u2014they want the car, but don\u2019t want to pay the insurance\u2014they want the apartment, but they don\u2019t want to pay the rent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember my big \u201cfreedom\u201d moment, my freshman year in college.\u00a0 I went to the movies on a Tuesday night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Kind of an \u201caha\u201d moment for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 A school night!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just remember thinking, \u201cI can go to the movies on a school night; and there is nobody here to say, \u2018No, we don\u2019t do that on a school night\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I mean, I didn\u2019t even care that much about the movie\u2014what is was.\u00a0 It was just going to the movies!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is something about that experience, as a young person, to want to say, \u201cI can do things that I\u2019ve never been allowed to do.\u201d\u00a0 And, by the way, it was a foolish thing to do because I should have been back there studying; but I didn\u2019t care whether it was foolish\u2014I wanted freedom!\u00a0 I wanted to be in charge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have just illustrated why my mid-term grade point average was where it was.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of Tuesday-night movies?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That kind of logic right there\u2014of going, \u201cHey!\u00a0 I can.\u00a0 Therefore, I will!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How does a student prepare for that because, Michael, there is a legitimate and a right sense of embracing, now, the fact that, \u201cYes, you get to make decisions that heretofore have been overseen.\u00a0 Now, nobody is watching.\u00a0 It\u2019s yours to make.\u201d\u00a0 How do we help prepare a teenager for that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, in each section of the book, I talk about the upside and the downside.\u00a0 So, there\u2019s an upside to freedom; and there\u2019s a downside to freedom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 The upside is\u2014you just outlined it\u2014Tuesday-night movies.\u00a0 The downside is Tuesday-night movies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s what goes with that\u2014so, really, teaching young people that freedom isn\u2019t about, \u201cYou get to do everything you want to do when you want to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Freedom is the opportunity to not be enslaved by what other people tell you\u2014that you\u2019re free to react how you want to react, but you\u2019re not free from the consequences.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s part of the issue, Haley.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, \u201cFreedom without wisdom is dangerous.\u201d\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 Most teenagers still have a little ways to go in the wisdom department.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes, definitely.\u00a0 I think, maybe, we all do.\u00a0 The one thing that I thought about, when you all were talking about freedom and how excited you were\u2014is that for some of us, the idea of freedom is frightening.\u00a0 That\u2019s because\u2014I would not have gone to a movie on Tuesday night because I would have been studying for four hours.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just wanted to make sure everything got done the way it was supposed to be done\u2014and freedom?\u00a0 I thought, \u201cDon\u2019t bother me with that.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to obey the rules.\u201d\u00a0 All of those things were more appealing to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Freedom frightened me.\u00a0 That\u2019s part of not having the wisdom to understand that freedom is part of our lives.\u00a0 It shouldn\u2019t frighten us or consume us because it\u2019s just part of learning the ups and downs of managing life.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to fall and you\u2019re going to get back up.\u00a0 There are going to be some tough times\u2014which, I was afraid\u2014I didn\u2019t want any of those, at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat fear of freedom really paralyzed me.\u00a0 There were times when\u2014I had a little apartment, kind of by the campus; and as soon as the sun went down, I didn\u2019t go anywhere.\u00a0 I was scared to death!\u00a0 I would look out the window, \u201cIs somebody going to shoot me?\u00a0 Is somebody was going to get me?\u201d\u00a0 I was afraid to go to the store.\u00a0 I was afraid to get in the car\u2014just consumed with the fear of freedom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You having said that, then\u2014you\u2019re the mom of a seven-year-old daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014zoom out 11 years.\u00a0 You\u2019re in the driveway, and you\u2019re saying goodbye.\u00a0 What do you want to have in place around these three issues of freedom, temptation, and opportunity\u2014with your daughter, as <em>she<\/em> pulls out of the driveway?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 That\u2019s a good question because Michael and I both feel that this kind of discussion really starts now.\u00a0 I know there are some parents, \u201cWow!\u00a0 My children are 18, and I haven\u2019t really thought about this!\u201d \u2014which is why we have the book\u2014but for people who have younger kids, this is an opportunity <em>now <\/em>to start to teach them how to make their way through these, before they even get to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I want to have in play is that she\u2019s already experienced this.\u00a0 She\u2019s had little independence days along the way\u2014that she has experienced the freedom to make certain choices and the consequences that go with those\u2014that she\u2019s had opportunity, while she was still in the home, while she still had us to fall back on, while she still had us to cry to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKind of like\u2014Bob, I just thought it was fantastic\u2014a light went off in my head when you talked about your camp experience.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s fabulous!\u201d because it\u2019s an opportunity for you to have those little mini-experiences\u2014but yet, your parents are still paying for you\u2014they\u2019re still connected.\u00a0 I would want that.\u00a0 I would want this to happen now as we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you\u2019re not threatened by a mistake that your daughter\u2019s going to make?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because she\u2019s going to make those.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, certainly!\u00a0 We\u2019re all going to make mistakes.\u00a0 \u201cThere is no one righteous, not even one.\u201d\u00a0 The mistakes are part of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, what\u2019s the phrase I heard you use recently about just the whole environment that you want to be raising kids in\u2014that acknowledges that mistakes are going to be made?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re kind of crazy!\u00a0 We want our home and we want our relationship with our daughter to be one where we create a culture, in our home, where the whole culture of our home is centered around learning how to rebound from sin instead of having a relationship\u2014parent\/child relationship\u2014 where it\u2019s all about sin- avoidance and sin-concealment because we\u2019re afraid of the consequences.\u00a0 We want to be the first place that she comes when she messes up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to help her learn how to rebound from sin because we all have sinned.\u00a0 We all do sin.\u00a0 We\u2019re all <em>going<\/em> to sin.\u00a0 Where is it safer for your child to confess?\u00a0 Is it safer for your child to confess\u2014at school or at home\u2014in their living room or their first dorm room?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 With a peer or with mom and dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, right!\u00a0 We\u2019ve really had to hold back from the lessons that we learned from our parents, growing up\u2014shooting forward to our independence days.\u00a0 I grew up in a military family.\u00a0 It was always the white-hot light of inquisition.\u00a0 When something was broken, \u201cWe were going to get to the bottom of it.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re trying to instill that in our home\u2014not the inquisition [Laughter] \u2014but the culture of sin-rebound.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In \u201csin-rebound\u201d, you\u2019re talking about learning how to confess, learning what repentance looks like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Learning what forgiveness looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014what forgiveness looks like, and learning what the deeds, in keeping with repentance\u2014what walking in grace looks like, moving forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 The hardest thing for us is not inventing artificial consequences because that\u2019s <em>so <\/em>appealing to us, as parents, to invent these\u2014like go beyond to try and conjure up\u2014out of fear of them making the same mistake or fear of them feeling like they got away with it.\u00a0 I mean, I drove really fast to get here from Nashville to Little Rock, and I didn\u2019t get pulled over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to write my own fine and send it in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you are confessing here on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m confessing on internationally-syndicated radio\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s probably a trooper listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, \u201cIf there are any Arkansas troopers or Tennessee troopers\u2014\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of my best friends is a Tennessee trooper.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How fast were you really going?\u00a0\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 No, no.\u00a0 Don\u2019t even go there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 The paint is still on the truck\u2014so I wasn\u2019t going that fast; but it\u2019s that concept of being a safe place to come and confess\u2014a safe place to get, not just law, but grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to add that part of that\u2014and I think it\u2019s part that a lot of us miss\u2014is that we are very confessional ourselves.\u00a0 We\u2019re not just talking about our kids telling us; but we are actively saying, \u201cYou know, I have to confess to you that I got angry at that instance; and I shouldn\u2019t have.\u00a0 I should have treated you better in that situation.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re continually trying to confess\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re modeling sin-rebounding in front of your daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that way, we\u2019re going to be better prepared\u2014we hope and we pray\u2014to cast her off into her big independence day, knowing that she does have a safety net to come back to\u2014that she\u2019s not alone, that when she does mess up on her own, that there\u2019s nothing so shameful that she could do that she can\u2019t come back to us and talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And to God!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly!\u00a0 That\u2019s the model.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, you\u2019re talking about freedom, at this point\u2014she\u2019s not coming home to your house at the end of a day, where she\u2019s made a mistake.\u00a0 She\u2019s going back to her dorm room or to her own apartment, at that point.\u00a0 She\u2019s got to deal with stuff with her God\u2014her maker.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the hand-off you want to make with your children.\u00a0 As you guys were talking, I was thinking, again, about the imagery in Psalm 127.\u00a0 It says, \u201cBehold, children are a heritage from the Lord.\u00a0 The fruit of the womb is a reward.\u00a0 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one\u2019s youth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt goes on to talk about, \u201cBlessed is he whose quiver is full of them.\u201d\u00a0 The arrow was not designed to stay in the quiver.\u00a0 It was meant to be pulled out, by a warrior, in time of battle, for its purpose.\u00a0 All of us, as parents, have to go out to that day\u2014that day where that child is launched toward his or her purpose. If the arrow doesn\u2019t have the right feathers and the fletching to guide it, that arrow is in trouble\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s going to wobble; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and that\u2019s not what parents want.\u00a0 Parents want to release the child to a successful flight, toward his or her purpose.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You want independence day to be a solid launch day for a son or a daughter.\u00a0 Honestly, I think having these kinds of conversations and talking to other parents about this\u2014but also interacting with your son or daughter around freedom, and temptation, and opportunity\u2014maybe, reading through the book that you guys have written together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of the book, <em>Independence Day<\/em>,in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how you can get a copy of Michael and Hayley DiMarco\u2019s book, <em>Independence Day<\/em>.\u00a0 You can find out more online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I think, by now, most of our listeners are aware of the fact that this month we are asking those of you who are long-time listeners but have never gotten in touch with us\u2014never made a donation to help underwrite the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program\u2014we\u2019re asking you if you would consider making a first-time donation.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a goal of trying to hear from 2,500 of you.\u00a0 If you break that down, that\u2019s about two families in every city where <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is heard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re asking you to call or go online and make a donation to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 All of you who make that first-time donation, we would like to send you a thank-you gift.\u00a0 It\u2019s the DVD of the movie, <em>October Baby<\/em>,that was out in theaters a few months ago\u2014a powerful movie about a young girl who is coming of age and trying to resolve issues from her past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would love to send you a copy of the <em>October Baby <\/em>DVD.\u00a0 Again, it goes out to all of you who are regular listeners but have never made a donation and you\u2019re ready to make that donation today.\u00a0 All you have to do is\u2014go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d.\u00a0 Fill out the online donation form.\u00a0 We\u2019ll automatically send you a copy of the movie, <em>October Baby<\/em>,if you are a first-time donor to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m calling to make a donation.\u00a0 This is my first donation.\u00a0 I appreciate what you guys are doing.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll be happy to send you a copy of the <em>October Baby <\/em>DVD.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want you to know we appreciate you listening.\u00a0 We appreciate you stepping up to make a donation.\u00a0 Those of you who have been supporting <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>for some time, thank you for your support, as well.\u00a0 We appreciate all of you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you\u2019ll be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Michael and Hayley DiMarco are going to be here again.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to continue talking about how we release our arrows and launch them toward the target of adulthood.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.7M"],"filesize_raw":["24853077"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302571.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302571.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 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graduated, and the next chapter of your life is about to begin.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Graduation from high school is still a long way in the future for Michael and Hayley DiMarco\u2019s daughter, but Michael and Hayley are already planning for that day.\u00a0 One of the key lessons they\u2019re trying to teach their daughter is how to handle inevitable failure and sin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 We want our relationship with our daughter to be one where we create a culture in our home, which is centered around learning how to rebound from sin, instead of having a relationship\u2014a parent\/child relationship\u2014where it\u2019s all about sin-avoidance and sin-concealment because we\u2019re afraid of the consequences.\u00a0 We want to be the first place that she comes when she messes up. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, August 13<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about what moms and dads can do to make sure their sons and daughters are ready for \u201cindependence day\u201d \u2014a day of freedom, temptation, and opportunity.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, I\u2019ve been thinking about that moment when a son or a daughter graduates from high school and then heads off to whatever is the next chapter of life.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been thinking about it because our son is about to head off to his next chapter of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dare we mention that this is <em>the last?<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is the beginning of the empty nest for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is the last Lepine arrow to be launched toward the target.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t know who is feeling more like liberation is on the horizon?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Whether it\u2019s him or me!\u00a0 Both of us are kind of looking at it as the next chapter of life\u2014 for Mary Ann and me\u2014but also, it\u2019s the next chapter of life for David as he heads off to college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ve got a great resource for David as he heads to college.\u00a0 This would be great to put in his hands as you kiss him, and probably cry a little bit, and pray over him as you launch him, in this case, toward college.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a resource here that Michael and Hayley DiMarco have written\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now let me just get this straight.\u00a0 When you say you\u2019ve got this resource for David, are you saying you\u2019re going to give it to him?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ahh.\u00a0 Well, I could do that.\u00a0 Do you think it would be better coming from me than from you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just trying to figure out whether I\u2019m going to have to buy it or whether it\u2019s a gift from you.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go home and tell Mary Ann, \u201cDennis promised to give us this book,\u201d and then have you renig on it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll spring for it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just checking!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019ll even get the authors to sign it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 Alright!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because they\u2019re right across the table!\u00a0 Michael, Hayley, welcome to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Michael and Hayley DiMarco work in a ministry called Hungry Planet.\u00a0 Hayley is the founder and Michael is the publisher and creative director.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve ever seen any of their books, you know they are a great tag-team couple.\u00a0 They are talented and extremely gifted\u2014a number of best-selling books.\u00a0 They live in Nashville with their daughter.\u00a0 They have written a book that would be great to put in the hands of your son or daughter as they pull out of the driveway and head off to <em>Independence Day<\/em>\u2014that\u2019s the name of the book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to start the broadcast\u2014I think this would just be kind of fun and interesting\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ll start with Hayley; and we\u2019ll go around the table clockwise here:\u00a0 What was your independence day like for you?\u00a0 Take us back there when you went to college\/ to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re talking about high school graduation?\u00a0 Is that what you\u2019re talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s really not high school graduation.\u00a0 It is as you pulled out of the driveway and left home on your independence day, which is just around the corner for a lot of our listeners, like you, Bob, with David.\u00a0 Hayley, do you remember it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, mine was kind of gradual because when I graduated from high school, I stayed home for the next year.\u00a0 I went to a university right next to us\u2014saved a little money, stayed home.\u00a0 That was kind of, you know, slowly moving away from my mom.\u00a0 It was not until sophomore year that I moved to the big city on my own.\u00a0 That was like a dream come true.\u00a0 I had planned for that my whole life\u2014getting out of that small town and getting to a big city.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was it emotional?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\u00a0 My mom and I were very, very close\u2014still are.\u00a0 I cried for the first hour, driving away; but once I got there, it was awesome.\u00a0 I will say that, for me, it was challenging because I wasn\u2019t really taught some of the things we\u2019re talking about in this book\u2014what it meant even how to live on my own.\u00a0 It was just like it happened one day\u2014I was in the car and I was gone.\u00a0 There I was!\u00a0 I was just beside myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cNow, what do I do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I literally didn\u2019t know.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know how to cook.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know how to take care of my house.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know how to get around\u2014I moved to a big city.\u00a0 It was a challenge\u2014it really was!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So that was your biggest surprise?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes!\u00a0 Living was the biggest challenge for me.\u00a0 \u201cHow do I survive?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, Michael, what about you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember it like it was yesterday because my whole life\u2014I just wanted to move out.\u00a0 My parents\u2014I loved them.\u00a0 They did their best\u2014well, I don\u2019t know about that.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 They really <em>seemed <\/em>to be trying hard.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 They <em>thought<\/em> they did their best.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, look what happened!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was getting ready to say that!\u00a0 I really was, but I was holding back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t wait to move out, even though I had a university that I was going to attend in my hometown, as well.\u00a0 Within three weeks of my high school graduation, I had moved out.\u00a0 I moved into a two-bedroom apartment with three guys.\u00a0 We were just jammed in there like sardines.\u00a0 It was just scary!\u00a0 It was like walking a high wire without a net; and it was awesome because I was lord of my domain\u2014even though my domain was like a 12-by-12-foot bedroom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Biggest surprise?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 The biggest surprise was how little I could live on and how unhealthy I could eat on a limited budget. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ditto!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re going to skip Bob because Bob still lives at home with his mother. [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s terrible!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m kidding!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is terrible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about you, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I\u2019m just sitting here thinking about the summer after ninth grade.\u00a0 I went to a leadership training program at a camp.\u00a0 I was there and at the end of our leadership training program, they said to some of us, \u201cIf you\u2019d like to stay and work in the equipment shed, we\u2019d give you room and board.\u201d\u00a0 I wound up staying the whole summer.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t make any money, but I stayed at camp all summer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next summer I went back, and the next summer I went back, and the next summer I went back.\u00a0 Honestly, those summers at camp were kind of my unplugging, in a gradual sense, so that when graduation came, and I spent the summer at camp, and then I went on to college, it really didn\u2019t feel all that consequential to me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was kind of like I had been emotionally unplugged from home.\u00a0 I was the last one.\u00a0 It was just Mom, Dad, and me.\u00a0 I had kind of been living in my own world throughout most of high school.\u00a0 I got to college, and I waved goodbye to Mom in the parking lot, and walked into the dorm room.\u00a0 Life went on kind of like it had been going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No bigs, then.\u00a0 No big emotional\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The big surprise for me was\u2014I had a great group of friends in high school and had been in a good high school environment.\u00a0 The big surprise was how hard the adjustment to first year of college was\u2014how lonely I was, how unplugged I was, how unprepared I was for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was back in the days when long distance still cost something.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t just free on your cell phone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember running up significant long distance bills just to stay connected to my old friends because I hadn\u2019t made new friends yet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 For me, I can still remember standing in the\u2014our driveway wasn\u2019t asphalt.\u00a0 It was chat\u2014white gravel.\u00a0 I had probably shot at least 9.5 million hoops on that driveway, growing up as a boy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dribbling in the gravel?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dribbling in the gravel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hey, it was where the basketball goal was.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No wonder your skills were what they were.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it!\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 But I was going away to a junior college on basketball scholarship, by the way.\u00a0 I remember my mom and dad standing in that driveway.\u00a0 Even now, it could conjure up a bunch of emotions because he seemed particularly tall and she seemed small.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s just kind of freeze-framed in my mind.\u00a0 It was a powerful emotional moment\u2014getting in my four-door Impala, with everything I owned in the back seat to go to junior college, pulling out of the driveway, and waving goodbye to my parents.\u00a0 It was a big deal\u2014a big deal!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy biggest surprise was my mid-term grade point average.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes?\u00a0 It was a good thing it was a basketball scholarship and not an academic scholarship; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, hey!\u00a0 Let me tell you, I turned things around and turned it into a 2.1.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 It was a massive turn-around at that!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have to tell you\u2014 now, having been at the other side of that independence day\u2014dropping off four kids and about to drop off a fifth one at college\u2014it had significantly more emotional impact on me, on the other side, than it did when I was being dropped off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As the parent letting go\u2014I\u2019ve told a lot of people this\u2014it was much harder to pull away from college than to walk a daughter down the aisle and give her away in marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, in a sense, it <em>is <\/em>independence day!\u00a0 It\u2019s game time!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All the lessons you\u2019ve taught them are right there; and, Michael, that\u2019s why you wrote the book; right?\u00a0 I mean, you outline three issues that come with independence day:\u00a0 freedom, temptation, and opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 One of the main reasons that I wrote the book was I wanted to write a book that I would have read\u2014not just that I <em>needed <\/em>to read when I was a senior, graduating and going into college, but a book that I would <em>want <\/em>to read because I didn\u2019t like to read much when I graduated\u2014my grades showed it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing was\u2014when we proposed this book to the publisher, they said, \u201cWell, can we leave \u2018temptation\u2019 off of the subtitle on the cover? You know:\u00a0 <em>Graduating into a New World of Freedom, Temptation, and Opportunity<\/em>.\u00a0 Can we leave \u2018temptation\u2019 off because this is a celebratory time?\u00a0 Can we just leave that off?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cNo!\u201d because that\u2019s one of the biggest things that our graduating students need to know about and they\u2019re ill-prepared for\u2014mostly, is that issue of temptation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Everyone says they want freedom\u2014they want the car, but don\u2019t want to pay the insurance\u2014they want the apartment, but they don\u2019t want to pay the rent.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember my big \u201cfreedom\u201d moment, my freshman year in college.\u00a0 I went to the movies on a Tuesday night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Kind of an \u201caha\u201d moment for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 A school night!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just remember thinking, \u201cI can go to the movies on a school night; and there is nobody here to say, \u2018No, we don\u2019t do that on a school night\u2019.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I mean, I didn\u2019t even care that much about the movie\u2014what is was.\u00a0 It was just going to the movies!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is something about that experience, as a young person, to want to say, \u201cI can do things that I\u2019ve never been allowed to do.\u201d\u00a0 And, by the way, it was a foolish thing to do because I should have been back there studying; but I didn\u2019t care whether it was foolish\u2014I wanted freedom!\u00a0 I wanted to be in charge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have just illustrated why my mid-term grade point average was where it was.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of Tuesday-night movies?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That kind of logic right there\u2014of going, \u201cHey!\u00a0 I can.\u00a0 Therefore, I will!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How does a student prepare for that because, Michael, there is a legitimate and a right sense of embracing, now, the fact that, \u201cYes, you get to make decisions that heretofore have been overseen.\u00a0 Now, nobody is watching.\u00a0 It\u2019s yours to make.\u201d\u00a0 How do we help prepare a teenager for that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, in each section of the book, I talk about the upside and the downside.\u00a0 So, there\u2019s an upside to freedom; and there\u2019s a downside to freedom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 The upside is\u2014you just outlined it\u2014Tuesday-night movies.\u00a0 The downside is Tuesday-night movies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s what goes with that\u2014so, really, teaching young people that freedom isn\u2019t about, \u201cYou get to do everything you want to do when you want to do it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Freedom is the opportunity to not be enslaved by what other people tell you\u2014that you\u2019re free to react how you want to react, but you\u2019re not free from the consequences.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s part of the issue, Haley.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, \u201cFreedom without wisdom is dangerous.\u201d\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 Most teenagers still have a little ways to go in the wisdom department.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes, definitely.\u00a0 I think, maybe, we all do.\u00a0 The one thing that I thought about, when you all were talking about freedom and how excited you were\u2014is that for some of us, the idea of freedom is frightening.\u00a0 That\u2019s because\u2014I would not have gone to a movie on Tuesday night because I would have been studying for four hours.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just wanted to make sure everything got done the way it was supposed to be done\u2014and freedom?\u00a0 I thought, \u201cDon\u2019t bother me with that.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to obey the rules.\u201d\u00a0 All of those things were more appealing to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Freedom frightened me.\u00a0 That\u2019s part of not having the wisdom to understand that freedom is part of our lives.\u00a0 It shouldn\u2019t frighten us or consume us because it\u2019s just part of learning the ups and downs of managing life.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to fall and you\u2019re going to get back up.\u00a0 There are going to be some tough times\u2014which, I was afraid\u2014I didn\u2019t want any of those, at all. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat fear of freedom really paralyzed me.\u00a0 There were times when\u2014I had a little apartment, kind of by the campus; and as soon as the sun went down, I didn\u2019t go anywhere.\u00a0 I was scared to death!\u00a0 I would look out the window, \u201cIs somebody going to shoot me?\u00a0 Is somebody was going to get me?\u201d\u00a0 I was afraid to go to the store.\u00a0 I was afraid to get in the car\u2014just consumed with the fear of freedom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You having said that, then\u2014you\u2019re the mom of a seven-year-old daughter\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014zoom out 11 years.\u00a0 You\u2019re in the driveway, and you\u2019re saying goodbye.\u00a0 What do you want to have in place around these three issues of freedom, temptation, and opportunity\u2014with your daughter, as <em>she<\/em> pulls out of the driveway?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 That\u2019s a good question because Michael and I both feel that this kind of discussion really starts now.\u00a0 I know there are some parents, \u201cWow!\u00a0 My children are 18, and I haven\u2019t really thought about this!\u201d \u2014which is why we have the book\u2014but for people who have younger kids, this is an opportunity <em>now <\/em>to start to teach them how to make their way through these, before they even get to them. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I want to have in play is that she\u2019s already experienced this.\u00a0 She\u2019s had little independence days along the way\u2014that she has experienced the freedom to make certain choices and the consequences that go with those\u2014that she\u2019s had opportunity, while she was still in the home, while she still had us to fall back on, while she still had us to cry to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKind of like\u2014Bob, I just thought it was fantastic\u2014a light went off in my head when you talked about your camp experience.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s fabulous!\u201d because it\u2019s an opportunity for you to have those little mini-experiences\u2014but yet, your parents are still paying for you\u2014they\u2019re still connected.\u00a0 I would want that.\u00a0 I would want this to happen now as we go.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you\u2019re not threatened by a mistake that your daughter\u2019s going to make?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because she\u2019s going to make those.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, certainly!\u00a0 We\u2019re all going to make mistakes.\u00a0 \u201cThere is no one righteous, not even one.\u201d\u00a0 The mistakes are part of life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, what\u2019s the phrase I heard you use recently about just the whole environment that you want to be raising kids in\u2014that acknowledges that mistakes are going to be made?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re kind of crazy!\u00a0 We want our home and we want our relationship with our daughter to be one where we create a culture, in our home, where the whole culture of our home is centered around learning how to rebound from sin instead of having a relationship\u2014parent\/child relationship\u2014 where it\u2019s all about sin- avoidance and sin-concealment because we\u2019re afraid of the consequences.\u00a0 We want to be the first place that she comes when she messes up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to help her learn how to rebound from sin because we all have sinned.\u00a0 We all do sin.\u00a0 We\u2019re all <em>going<\/em> to sin.\u00a0 Where is it safer for your child to confess?\u00a0 Is it safer for your child to confess\u2014at school or at home\u2014in their living room or their first dorm room?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 With a peer or with mom and dad?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, right!\u00a0 We\u2019ve really had to hold back from the lessons that we learned from our parents, growing up\u2014shooting forward to our independence days.\u00a0 I grew up in a military family.\u00a0 It was always the white-hot light of inquisition.\u00a0 When something was broken, \u201cWe were going to get to the bottom of it.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re trying to instill that in our home\u2014not the inquisition [Laughter] \u2014but the culture of sin-rebound.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In \u201csin-rebound\u201d, you\u2019re talking about learning how to confess, learning what repentance looks like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Learning what forgiveness looks like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014what forgiveness looks like, and learning what the deeds, in keeping with repentance\u2014what walking in grace looks like, moving forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 The hardest thing for us is not inventing artificial consequences because that\u2019s <em>so <\/em>appealing to us, as parents, to invent these\u2014like go beyond to try and conjure up\u2014out of fear of them making the same mistake or fear of them feeling like they got away with it.\u00a0 I mean, I drove really fast to get here from Nashville to Little Rock, and I didn\u2019t get pulled over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to write my own fine and send it in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you are confessing here on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m confessing on internationally-syndicated radio\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s probably a trooper listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, \u201cIf there are any Arkansas troopers or Tennessee troopers\u2014\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of my best friends is a Tennessee trooper.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How fast were you really going?\u00a0\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 No, no.\u00a0 Don\u2019t even go there!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 The paint is still on the truck\u2014so I wasn\u2019t going that fast; but it\u2019s that concept of being a safe place to come and confess\u2014a safe place to get, not just law, but grace. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to add that part of that\u2014and I think it\u2019s part that a lot of us miss\u2014is that we are very confessional ourselves.\u00a0 We\u2019re not just talking about our kids telling us; but we are actively saying, \u201cYou know, I have to confess to you that I got angry at that instance; and I shouldn\u2019t have.\u00a0 I should have treated you better in that situation.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re continually trying to confess\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re modeling sin-rebounding in front of your daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Right; right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that way, we\u2019re going to be better prepared\u2014we hope and we pray\u2014to cast her off into her big independence day, knowing that she does have a safety net to come back to\u2014that she\u2019s not alone, that when she does mess up on her own, that there\u2019s nothing so shameful that she could do that she can\u2019t come back to us and talk.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And to God!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Michael:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly!\u00a0 That\u2019s the model.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, you\u2019re talking about freedom, at this point\u2014she\u2019s not coming home to your house at the end of a day, where she\u2019s made a mistake.\u00a0 She\u2019s going back to her dorm room or to her own apartment, at that point.\u00a0 She\u2019s got to deal with stuff with her God\u2014her maker.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Hayley:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the hand-off you want to make with your children.\u00a0 As you guys were talking, I was thinking, again, about the imagery in Psalm 127.\u00a0 It says, \u201cBehold, children are a heritage from the Lord.\u00a0 The fruit of the womb is a reward.\u00a0 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one\u2019s youth.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt goes on to talk about, \u201cBlessed is he whose quiver is full of them.\u201d\u00a0 The arrow was not designed to stay in the quiver.\u00a0 It was meant to be pulled out, by a warrior, in time of battle, for its purpose.\u00a0 All of us, as parents, have to go out to that day\u2014that day where that child is launched toward his or her purpose. If the arrow doesn\u2019t have the right feathers and the fletching to guide it, that arrow is in trouble\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s going to wobble; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and that\u2019s not what parents want.\u00a0 Parents want to release the child to a successful flight, toward his or her purpose.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You want independence day to be a solid launch day for a son or a daughter.\u00a0 Honestly, I think having these kinds of conversations and talking to other parents about this\u2014but also interacting with your son or daughter around freedom, and temptation, and opportunity\u2014maybe, reading through the book that you guys have written together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of the book, <em>Independence Day<\/em>,in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how you can get a copy of Michael and Hayley DiMarco\u2019s book, <em>Independence Day<\/em>.\u00a0 You can find out more online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I think, by now, most of our listeners are aware of the fact that this month we are asking those of you who are long-time listeners but have never gotten in touch with us\u2014never made a donation to help underwrite the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program\u2014we\u2019re asking you if you would consider making a first-time donation.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a goal of trying to hear from 2,500 of you.\u00a0 If you break that down, that\u2019s about two families in every city where <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is heard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re asking you to call or go online and make a donation to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 All of you who make that first-time donation, we would like to send you a thank-you gift.\u00a0 It\u2019s the DVD of the movie, <em>October Baby<\/em>,that was out in theaters a few months ago\u2014a powerful movie about a young girl who is coming of age and trying to resolve issues from her past. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe would love to send you a copy of the <em>October Baby <\/em>DVD.\u00a0 Again, it goes out to all of you who are regular listeners but have never made a donation and you\u2019re ready to make that donation today.\u00a0 All you have to do is\u2014go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d.\u00a0 Fill out the online donation form.\u00a0 We\u2019ll automatically send you a copy of the movie, <em>October Baby<\/em>,if you are a first-time donor to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI\u2019m calling to make a donation.\u00a0 This is my first donation.\u00a0 I appreciate what you guys are doing.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ll be happy to send you a copy of the <em>October Baby <\/em>DVD.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want you to know we appreciate you listening.\u00a0 We appreciate you stepping up to make a donation.\u00a0 Those of you who have been supporting <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>for some time, thank you for your support, as well.\u00a0 We appreciate all of you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you\u2019ll be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Michael and Hayley DiMarco are going to be here again.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to continue talking about how we release our arrows and launch them toward the target of adulthood.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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