{"id":302570,"date":"2012-08-03T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-03T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/courageous-parenting\/"},"modified":"2012-08-03T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-03T15:00:00","slug":"courageous-parenting","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/courageous-parenting\/","title":{"rendered":"Courageous Parenting"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do your kids think you&#8217;re strict? Then welcome to the club!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-03.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"21.43M","filesize_raw":"22474786","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2833],"tags":[4759,4276],"podcast_series":[7889],"cwp_profile":[3076],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302570","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-godly-legacy","tag-discipline","tag-legacy","podcast_series-never-walk-away","cwp_profile-crawford-loritts","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302570\/courageous-parenting","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302570\/courageous-parenting","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"fVH9GEMFvQ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/courageous-parenting\/\">Courageous Parenting<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/courageous-parenting\/embed\/#?secret=fVH9GEMFvQ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Courageous Parenting&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"fVH9GEMFvQ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As a dad, are you giving your children all that they need?\u00a0 Dr. Crawford Loritts says, \u201cSometimes, what they need from you is for you to back away and let them struggle.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Every kid has two broad categories of emotional needs.\u00a0 One is for nurture, affirmation, tender touch; but paradoxically, one is for daily doses of discipline and denial.\u00a0 There\u2019s a certain point in our lives where you\u2014the wisest thing to do is to let that child feel some heat, in order for them to get the corresponding strength to be a blessing to others and not to be reliant and dependent.\u00a0 There is a magic moment in the development of a child where protection will actually hurt them and cripple them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 3<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What can we do, as dads, to make sure our children grow up tender and tough?\u00a0 Crawford Loritts talks about that with us today.\u00a0 Stay tuned\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 I am reminded, somewhat regularly, of the statement that Dr. Al Mohler makes in <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, when he says, \u201cYou are somebody\u2019s ancestors.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the Lord should tarry, you are ancestors for generations to come.\u00a0 When you have that perspective on how you live your life, it changes everything.\u00a0 You start to have a focus, as you ought to have, on the kind of legacy that you\u2019re going to leave.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we\u2019ve been talking about this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We\u2019ve been exhorting and imploring fathers, all across the country, to do what\u2019s right concerning their kids; and in the process, I\u2019ve been encouraged to do what\u2019s right.\u00a0 Crawford Loritts has done a great job doing that.\u00a0\u00a0 Crawford\u2014thanks for being on the broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you, Dennis, for having me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Crawford and Karen also speak atour FamilyLife marriage conferences around the country, and it\u2019s been a privilege to speak with Crawford at those conferences.\u00a0 I wanted to know this all week, \u201cAre you the strictest father in Atlanta, Georgia?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am the biggest teddy bear.\u00a0 My bark is worse than my bite.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I\u2019m going to just discredit everything I\u2019ve said this week, but my daughters know that\u2014there have been times they\u2019ve asked me to do things; and I\u2019ve said, \u201cNo,\u201d and I\u2019m doing it at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re a soft touch.\u00a0 Is that what you are saying?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes, yes.\u00a0 I tend to just have a very few areas that I want to make sure that\u2014on the character side\u2014I don\u2019t tend to give too much on that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, as we have tried to establish some boundaries and some guidelines in our home, it turns out that we are apparently the strictest parents in Little Rock because of those boundaries that we set\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 To listen to them, yes.\u00a0 If you interviewed them, they\u2019d say, \u201cOh, yes.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have both of you guys nailed on this one.\u00a0 We are the strictest parents in the world!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cNo one has a dad and a mom like us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 We should get our kids and have them interview us.\u00a0 Then, we\u2019d all have to quit the ministry.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, let\u2019s move to an area that we have to deal with as we raise children today\u2014loving and protecting our kids.\u00a0 You tell a story about a bully\u2014I\u2019ll never forget Mark Schallenberger.\u00a0 It\u2019d be interesting if Mark is listening to the broadcast today.\u00a0 He used to love to beat me up, and meet me after school, and just wait for me; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMark, if you\u2019re listening, I\u2019m glad God did a number on you and you\u2019re one of the listeners.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you had a story about a bully who was doing a number on you and what your dad did to help protect you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019ll tell you what.\u00a0 When people say to me, \u201cOh, man\u2014I tell you.\u00a0 When I was 12, 13, 14, those were the best years of my life,\u201d I want to say, \u201cLiar, liar, liar\u2014your pants are on fire!\u201d\u00a0 To be a 12-year-old boy; it\u2019s terrible!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a hard time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Middle school is awful!\u00a0 I think, if it\u2019s not hell, it\u2019s a few yards away from it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Purgatory.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, big time.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I had skipped the sixth grade, and I went right into seventh grade.\u00a0 I was the youngest kid in my class.\u00a0 Then, we had a guy in the class.\u00a0 I call him Jimmy in the book\u2014that\u2019s not his real name\u2014because he might be as fierce now as he was then!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy had been\u2014let\u2019s just say he stayed back at least one grade\u2014but he would terrorize me.\u00a0 I\u2019d never been known for a lot of fear, but I think the fact that I was the youngest and that he was\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was the oldest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was he big?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, he wasn\u2019t as big\u2014he\u2019s about my size.\u00a0 I was pretty big for my age, back then.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was he mean?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he was.\u00a0 I tell you\u2014he was as mean as could be.\u00a0 Well, he had been just knocking my books out of my hand, down the hallway\u2014kind of slap me, upside the head.\u00a0 He would wait for me on the way to school and kind of pick on me and stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, my mom had heard about this.\u00a0 My dad worked nights\u2014so, he wouldn\u2019t be home during the week when all of this stuff, for the most part, is taking place.\u00a0 My mom wanted to go tell the principal, and she did.\u00a0 You know, that kind of bugged me that my mother\u2014you know, at this stage of the game\u2014you don\u2019t want Mom doing this stuff.\u00a0 I was upset.\u00a0 So, I wouldn\u2019t tell her much; but she would be hearing stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe told my father\u2014just filled him in on what\u2019s been going on.\u00a0 My father had a lot of wisdom.\u00a0 I tell you\u2014he\u2019d probably handle this situation differently today because it was a lot different in 1961 or \u201862 than it is right now\u2014the violence and this kind of thing.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut he said to me\u2014these words to me, never told me this before\u2014he said, \u201cNow, look.\u00a0 You\u2019re getting a little too old for this right now.\u00a0 You can\u2019t let that boy put his hands on you.\u00a0 If it\u2019s in school, you go to the right place; but if he\u2019s messing with you on your way to school, this kind of thing, you\u2019ve got to put a stop to that.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have to\u2014if I hear of this fellow put his hands on you and trying to hurt you and you don\u2019t fight him back, you\u2019re going to have to fight me.\u201d\u00a0 Now, I know I wasn\u2019t going to win that one!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You liked your odds against Jimmy better than your dad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I tell you\u2014that weekend went by so fast.\u00a0 My heart was beating Sunday night.\u00a0 I had to go to bed because I was scared of Monday and what I had to do.\u00a0 Sure enough, Monday rolled around, right on schedule.\u00a0 I went to school and met up with Jimmy, over there, near Central Avenue, a few blocks away from school.\u00a0 Sure enough, he tried to terrorize me.\u00a0 At that point, I said, \u201cI\u2019m sick of it.\u00a0 I\u2019m tired of it.\u201d\u00a0 My father\u2019s words came to my mind, and I had to protect myself.\u00a0 When I squared off to him, as a typical bully, he did nothing.\u00a0 He walked away, never bothered me after that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, again, I want our listeners to understand,\u00a0 in today and in different environments, and this kind of thing\u2014I\u2019ve advised my boys about, \u201cJust be careful.\u201d\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are kids getting shot for stuff like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure, sure.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think my father would give the same kind of advice in today\u2019s environment that he\u2019s given now.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you advised your sons to walk away?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I have.\u00a0 There have been cases, though, where I\u2019ve told them this, \u201cNow, if you get yourself in a situation where you can\u2019t walk away, I don\u2019t want you hurt.\u00a0 You may need to protect yourself; but even if someone puts his hands on you, there are other ways of taking care of that by calling in the authorities and by stopping it because there is just too much violence, whether it\u2019s urban or suburban, right now.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe underlying thing that my father was teaching me was he knew that I was at an age where I needed to internalize courage.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t going to be around all the time to bail me out.\u00a0 He understood that protection was not necessarily always development\u2014that a part of development meant for me to own the resolution of my own conflicts and issues\u2014that I had to start to do that myself.\u00a0 It\u2019s a wise parent who understands that just because you can do something, doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that you should do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Now, he could have gone down there and threatened the boy himself.\u00a0 He could have gone\u2014I mean, he\u2014there\u2019s a number of things he could have done, but that would have messed me up, down the road.\u00a0 Now, if I was being threatened for my life, then, he probably would have stepped in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014as an advocate\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but he understood the situation.\u00a0 Courage is a vital part\u2014particularly, in the life of boys.\u00a0 They\u2019ve got to embrace courage.\u00a0 You cannot accomplish anything without a degree of courage.\u00a0 So, that was what he was mentoring in me\u2014to take a stand, to stand up for what is right, to draw a line in the sand, to communicate to others that, \u201cNo, you\u2019re not going to go here; and I\u2019m not going to let you do this to me.\u201d\u00a0 It is a matter of protecting dignity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your father was modeling 1 Peter, Chapter 5, verses 1 through 3, where Peter is giving some words of advice and exhortation to leaders in the church.\u00a0 He says in verse 1, \u201c...I urge the elders among you...\u201d then he\u2014after he urges them, he says, \u201c...shepherd the flock of God among you, not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sorted gain, but with eagerness; nor yet, lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe principle here, I think, is you\u2019ve got to own the responsibility of shepherding the flock and be in the midst of the sheep, helping them with the issues they\u2019re dealing with.\u00a0 Your dad was aware of that bully\u2014there are a lot of parents, Bob, that would never know that their son, or perhaps their daughter, was dealing with some peers who perhaps were working them over\u2014but to have that knowledge and, then, to step in there and to guide them and to direct them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The \u201cwhat\u201d he told you to do is not so important in this situation as it is that he was there\u2014that he was guarding you, he was protecting you, and he loved you, out of your situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, the principle was take\u2014no matter what he told me to do\u2014that\u2019s a good point, Dennis\u2014was the principle is this, \u201cTake the initiative.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cTake the initiative to launch a path of resolution yourself, and you\u2019ve got to look at the problem in the eye.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Joshua, Chapter 1, there is a four-fold descriptive definition of what courage is really all about.\u00a0 Courage, first of all, rests upon a clear assignment from God.\u00a0 For our purposes, it rests upon a clear goal\u2014knowing where you need to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two is the assurance of God\u2019s presence with you.\u00a0 If you are pursuing the right thing, God is with you\u2014no matter what your given set of circumstances are all about.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we have to give to our children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Thirdly, it\u2019s focused determination.\u00a0 My father was teaching me, \u201cLook, not everybody in this world is going in the same direction you are going, Buddy.\u00a0 Just because you get some opposition, you can\u2019t cower in the corner and give up.\u00a0 You know what you are about.\u00a0 So, you don\u2019t let people trample on where you\u2019re going.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be determined, despite your environment, to keep pursuing what is right.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Fourthly, it really rests upon the biblical parameters of truth\u2014it\u2019s the Word of God.\u00a0 You draw your sense of direction and encouragement to keep fueling your direction from that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, he didn\u2019t articulate this; but as I look back on that experience with Jimmy, he was telling\u2014my dad, was telling me, \u201cSon, you know what you\u2019re about.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to keep on moving.\u00a0 You can\u2019t allow fear to stop you or to intimidate you.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to overcome this because one day you\u2019re going to be a dad.\u00a0 One day, you\u2019re going to be in situations that are frightening\u2014your kids are counting on you, your wife is counting on you, what are you going to do?\u00a0 [Are] you going to get in the car, go drive off into the sunset, and forget about everything?\u00a0 No, you\u2019re going to have to have some courage to hang in there\u2014not walk away.\u00a0 Do what needs to be done, protect your family, and keep on trucking.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard you speak, recently; and you made a statement.\u00a0 You said, \u201cParents need to quit protecting their kids as much as they do.\u201d\u00a0 When you said that, I looked out of the corner of my eye at my wife who was sitting next to me [Laughter] because I wanted to see what her reaction to that statement was.\u00a0 That is a hard call for parents to know, \u201cWhen do I protect, and when do I back off?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 Every kid has two broad categories of emotional needs.\u00a0 One is for nurture, affirmation, tender touch; but paradoxically, one is for daily doses of discipline and denial.\u00a0 There\u2019s a certain point in our lives where you really\u2014the wisest thing to do is to let that child feel some heat, in order for them to get the corresponding strength to be a blessing to others and not to be reliant and dependent.\u00a0 There is a magic moment in the development of a child where protection will actually hurt them and cripple them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when I say, \u201cprotection\u201d, sure, we need to protect our children.\u00a0 There are other ways we need to protect them, morally.\u00a0 We need to protect them, and that\u2019s appropriate; but you have to have the strength of your own convictions.\u00a0 I\u2019m concerned that the Christian community sometimes so reacts to what\u2019s going on in the world\u2014and we\u2019ve pulled everybody outside of the storm\u2014that we forget that there\u2019s another way of walking through the rain.\u00a0 You get a raincoat on and umbrellas, and you get on out there.\u00a0 You can\u2019t stay in the shelter all the time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy father knew that unless the foolish activity of a child was changed, that I was going to find myself in situations where I needed to show up and I needed to have self-discipline; but I would bail out because my emotions would hold my behavior hostage, and I would end up destroying relationships.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of people, who can\u2019t hold on to jobs right now, who can\u2019t maintain relationships, who have gotten used to just doing whatever they want to do, are very unproductive.\u00a0 They\u2019re unhappy, and they are unfulfilled because parents let this stupid behavior go unchecked in the name of not wanting to lose the relationship.\u00a0 So, we need to push them out.\u00a0\u00a0 As I said, \u201cProtection is not necessarily development.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t agree more.\u00a0 If you think about weight lifting, weight lifting helps muscles develop.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 It applies weight against a muscle, which forces it to stretch and, ultimately, to be strengthened and to grow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we would do, as parents, is we would remove, if we just acted with our heart, that one side of the equation you were talking about and just met their emotional needs to be loved, and protected, and keep all those tensions out of their lives, we would create children who would become spiritual pygmies, who are never forced out of the womb into a world that\u2019s going to force them to determine, \u201cWhat do they believe?\u00a0 What is their character?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>That\u2019s why\u2014Crawford, what you\u2019re saying resonates with me, especially, out of Joshua, Chapter 1\u2014where three or four times in that passage, Joshua is being commanded to be strong and courageous and not fear, for God is with him.\u00a0 Today, the great need for parents, with our kids, first of all, is to be strong and courageous ourselves.\u00a0 We have got to have the real disease.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to be strong and courageous about our Christianity, and know what we believe, and press into the culture, and press back against evil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Secondly, we\u2019ve got to call our kids to the same thing.\u00a0 That means there are those moments, and they are divinely-ordered.\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how to know when they occur; but you\u2019ve been there, Crawford.\u00a0 You know, as a parent, they\u2019re divinely-ordered by God.\u00a0 Evil crosses our paths, and we have to step back and let our child determine what he believes, or what she believes, and strengthen their faith muscle.\u00a0 If they make the right choice, we can applaud them and encourage them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, now, I\u2019ve heard you say this, Dennis, and I agree with you.\u00a0 When they make the right choices, not only should we applaud them, we ought to have just such a crazy party to affirm that.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way they learn.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way they internalize it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to take your hands off of them.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to love them enough to put tape over your mouth and tie your hands behind your back and say, \u201cI\u2019m praying for you, but you need to walk through this valley by yourself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What age are you talking about here?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it has to be done incrementally.\u00a0 I think it has to be done incrementally.\u00a0 I think the sooner a child can handle, incrementally, certain challenges, then, you come alongside them and you encourage them along the way.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s almost brutal and cruel after you have been so protective, then, all of a sudden, push them out there when they are 14-,15-,16-years-old.\u00a0 They haven\u2019t even tasted any of that stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, when they are young, as soon as you can, helping them take\u2014when a bully\u2014or they\u2019re like three or four years old, even in preschool, or so, and somebody is taking something from them\u2014to pull them over and say, \u201cNow, look, you tell them how you felt about that.\u00a0 You tell them that you don\u2019t want them to do that to you anymore\u2014that that is not right.\u201d\u00a0 You coach them through those moments so that you are building into their minds a catalogue of resources to draw from when they get into situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s interesting that you pointed out that it\u2019s a command to be courageous in Joshua, Chapter 1.\u00a0 Courage is not necessarily a product of a certain personality type, but it\u2019s a command.\u00a0 When you act courageous, you get more courage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 You get more courage.\u00a0 It\u2019s amazing to me that that bully situation, when I was 12-years-old and how I overcame that, stands as a monument and an encouragement to me when there were other issues in my life, down the road.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re going to meet more Jimmies.\u00a0 I mean, the ride isn\u2019t over.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to meet Jimmies as long as you live.\u00a0 Some of them won\u2019t threaten you physically, but they\u2019ll have power games with you.\u00a0 You\u2019ll work with them.\u00a0 They\u2019ll try to manipulate your mind.\u00a0 They\u2019ll bully you in other kind of ways, and you\u2019ve got to know how to handle the situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some of the Jimmies we\u2019re going to face won\u2019t be people\u2014they\u2019ll be choices like drugs, alcohol, sticking with a commitment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCrawford, your dad, as you write throughout your entire book here, had a profound impact on your life.\u00a0 A number of years ago, you were on our broadcast, <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We concluded that broadcast by asking you to give a tribute to your father, who was still alive at that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour father has passed away\u2014you write about that in your book\u2014but I thought, for just a moment, we would go back and replay what you said to your dad that day because he had a chance to listen in on the broadcast and hear these words.\u00a0 I thought our listeners ought to hear a piece of your heart about what you thought about the most important man in your life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dad, I love you.\u00a0 Thank you for the sacrifices of working over 30 years at A&amp;P Warehouse.\u00a0 Thank you for choosing not to get paid triple time on those Christmas\u2019s and other days when we needed the money, living in that small apartment in Newark, because you wanted to spend time with your kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for not buying new cars until after we were grown because you wanted to have money for vacations, and you wanted to show us things.\u00a0 Thank you for teaching me and telling me that I\u2019m a man and standing with me during hard times.\u00a0 Everything I am today is because of you.\u00a0 Nobody may ever know who you are.\u00a0 You never made a big splash of it.\u00a0 You never blew your own trumpet, but you quietly did the deed; and thank you!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember the day you did that in the studio?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do remember that day.\u00a0 He went on to live a couple of years after that, but that was kind of the downward slide for him.\u00a0 I had the privilege of telling him, before he died, how much I loved him.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have any regrets, but I do want to say this to the listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re estranged from your father and you\u2019ve got issues to take care of, and there is pain there, by an act of your will, give him a tribute.\u00a0 Tell him, despite the pain.\u00a0 Love is a choice.\u00a0 Deal with issues because the pain of losing them and having unfinished business is sometimes almost unbearable.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage them to do that.\u00a0 That would be the thing that I would leave with the listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s good.\u00a0 Crawford\u2014thanks.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us this week.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you in Chicago tomorrow, as we get ready for the National Men\u2019s Simulcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if our listeners want more information about the event, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see a link there that will give you information on, not only the live event in Chicago, but the simulcast that\u2019s being hosted in churches, all across the country.\u00a0 Along with Crawford Loritts and Dennis Rainey, Pastor James MacDonald is going to join us, and Robert Lewis is going to be there, as well.\u00a0 Again, if you\u2019d like more information, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who have helped with a donation this week to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We could not do what we do without folks, like you, from time to time going online to make an online donation or calling 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 We appreciate your support of this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, this week, for those who have been able to help with a donation, we\u2019ve been sending out a CD copy of a message from Dennis about men stepping up to be courageous men and a CD message from Barbara Rainey about what a wife can do to help her husband step up and be the man God has called him to be.\u00a0 If you can make an online donation today at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ll get those CDs in the mail to you.\u00a0 If you want to make your donation by phone, call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Be sure to ask for the CDs by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get those out to you, as well.\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks for your financial support.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 <br><br>Well, we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you can join us back here on Monday when we\u2019re going to meet the couple whose true-life story inspired the movie, <em>The Vow<\/em>\u2014 that came out in theatres this year.\u00a0 I have to tell you, I didn\u2019t see the movie; but from everything I heard, the real-life story puts the movie to shame.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Krickitt:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was like living with a stranger because I didn\u2019t know who he was!\u00a0 I tried to step back into this life that I had been living.\u00a0 I wanted to do what was right.\u00a0 I wanted to do what I was supposed to be doing, but I was so confused that I didn\u2019t know what that was.\u00a0 I even went back to the same job that I had, prior to the car accident; but I didn\u2019t know how to do that job because it was wiped out, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong>\u00a0 It would take a toll every day.\u00a0 Every day she had something mean to say.\u00a0 Then, other times, she was just\u2014she\u2019d just go with it and go along; but that part of our relationship was really, really hard.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ll meet Kim and Krickitt Carpenter on Monday.\u00a0 I hope you can be here for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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your kids think you're strict? Then welcome to the club!","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As a dad, are you giving your children all that they need?\u00a0 Dr. Crawford Loritts says, \u201cSometimes, what they need from you is for you to back away and let them struggle.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Every kid has two broad categories of emotional needs.\u00a0 One is for nurture, affirmation, tender touch; but paradoxically, one is for daily doses of discipline and denial.\u00a0 There\u2019s a certain point in our lives where you\u2014the wisest thing to do is to let that child feel some heat, in order for them to get the corresponding strength to be a blessing to others and not to be reliant and dependent.\u00a0 There is a magic moment in the development of a child where protection will actually hurt them and cripple them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, August 3<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What can we do, as dads, to make sure our children grow up tender and tough?\u00a0 Crawford Loritts talks about that with us today.\u00a0 Stay tuned\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 I am reminded, somewhat regularly, of the statement that Dr. Al Mohler makes in <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video series, when he says, \u201cYou are somebody\u2019s ancestors.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the Lord should tarry, you are ancestors for generations to come.\u00a0 When you have that perspective on how you live your life, it changes everything.\u00a0 You start to have a focus, as you ought to have, on the kind of legacy that you\u2019re going to leave.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we\u2019ve been talking about this week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We\u2019ve been exhorting and imploring fathers, all across the country, to do what\u2019s right concerning their kids; and in the process, I\u2019ve been encouraged to do what\u2019s right.\u00a0 Crawford Loritts has done a great job doing that.\u00a0\u00a0 Crawford\u2014thanks for being on the broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you, Dennis, for having me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Crawford and Karen also speak atour FamilyLife marriage conferences around the country, and it\u2019s been a privilege to speak with Crawford at those conferences.\u00a0 I wanted to know this all week, \u201cAre you the strictest father in Atlanta, Georgia?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am the biggest teddy bear.\u00a0 My bark is worse than my bite.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I\u2019m going to just discredit everything I\u2019ve said this week, but my daughters know that\u2014there have been times they\u2019ve asked me to do things; and I\u2019ve said, \u201cNo,\u201d and I\u2019m doing it at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re a soft touch.\u00a0 Is that what you are saying?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes, yes.\u00a0 I tend to just have a very few areas that I want to make sure that\u2014on the character side\u2014I don\u2019t tend to give too much on that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, as we have tried to establish some boundaries and some guidelines in our home, it turns out that we are apparently the strictest parents in Little Rock because of those boundaries that we set\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 To listen to them, yes.\u00a0 If you interviewed them, they\u2019d say, \u201cOh, yes.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have both of you guys nailed on this one.\u00a0 We are the strictest parents in the world!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cNo one has a dad and a mom like us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 We should get our kids and have them interview us.\u00a0 Then, we\u2019d all have to quit the ministry.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, let\u2019s move to an area that we have to deal with as we raise children today\u2014loving and protecting our kids.\u00a0 You tell a story about a bully\u2014I\u2019ll never forget Mark Schallenberger.\u00a0 It\u2019d be interesting if Mark is listening to the broadcast today.\u00a0 He used to love to beat me up, and meet me after school, and just wait for me; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMark, if you\u2019re listening, I\u2019m glad God did a number on you and you\u2019re one of the listeners.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you had a story about a bully who was doing a number on you and what your dad did to help protect you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019ll tell you what.\u00a0 When people say to me, \u201cOh, man\u2014I tell you.\u00a0 When I was 12, 13, 14, those were the best years of my life,\u201d I want to say, \u201cLiar, liar, liar\u2014your pants are on fire!\u201d\u00a0 To be a 12-year-old boy; it\u2019s terrible!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a hard time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Middle school is awful!\u00a0 I think, if it\u2019s not hell, it\u2019s a few yards away from it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Purgatory.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, big time.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I had skipped the sixth grade, and I went right into seventh grade.\u00a0 I was the youngest kid in my class.\u00a0 Then, we had a guy in the class.\u00a0 I call him Jimmy in the book\u2014that\u2019s not his real name\u2014because he might be as fierce now as he was then!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJimmy had been\u2014let\u2019s just say he stayed back at least one grade\u2014but he would terrorize me.\u00a0 I\u2019d never been known for a lot of fear, but I think the fact that I was the youngest and that he was\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was the oldest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was he big?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, he wasn\u2019t as big\u2014he\u2019s about my size.\u00a0 I was pretty big for my age, back then.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was he mean?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he was.\u00a0 I tell you\u2014he was as mean as could be.\u00a0 Well, he had been just knocking my books out of my hand, down the hallway\u2014kind of slap me, upside the head.\u00a0 He would wait for me on the way to school and kind of pick on me and stuff. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, my mom had heard about this.\u00a0 My dad worked nights\u2014so, he wouldn\u2019t be home during the week when all of this stuff, for the most part, is taking place.\u00a0 My mom wanted to go tell the principal, and she did.\u00a0 You know, that kind of bugged me that my mother\u2014you know, at this stage of the game\u2014you don\u2019t want Mom doing this stuff.\u00a0 I was upset.\u00a0 So, I wouldn\u2019t tell her much; but she would be hearing stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe told my father\u2014just filled him in on what\u2019s been going on.\u00a0 My father had a lot of wisdom.\u00a0 I tell you\u2014he\u2019d probably handle this situation differently today because it was a lot different in 1961 or \u201862 than it is right now\u2014the violence and this kind of thing.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut he said to me\u2014these words to me, never told me this before\u2014he said, \u201cNow, look.\u00a0 You\u2019re getting a little too old for this right now.\u00a0 You can\u2019t let that boy put his hands on you.\u00a0 If it\u2019s in school, you go to the right place; but if he\u2019s messing with you on your way to school, this kind of thing, you\u2019ve got to put a stop to that.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have to\u2014if I hear of this fellow put his hands on you and trying to hurt you and you don\u2019t fight him back, you\u2019re going to have to fight me.\u201d\u00a0 Now, I know I wasn\u2019t going to win that one!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You liked your odds against Jimmy better than your dad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I tell you\u2014that weekend went by so fast.\u00a0 My heart was beating Sunday night.\u00a0 I had to go to bed because I was scared of Monday and what I had to do.\u00a0 Sure enough, Monday rolled around, right on schedule.\u00a0 I went to school and met up with Jimmy, over there, near Central Avenue, a few blocks away from school.\u00a0 Sure enough, he tried to terrorize me.\u00a0 At that point, I said, \u201cI\u2019m sick of it.\u00a0 I\u2019m tired of it.\u201d\u00a0 My father\u2019s words came to my mind, and I had to protect myself.\u00a0 When I squared off to him, as a typical bully, he did nothing.\u00a0 He walked away, never bothered me after that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, again, I want our listeners to understand,\u00a0 in today and in different environments, and this kind of thing\u2014I\u2019ve advised my boys about, \u201cJust be careful.\u201d\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are kids getting shot for stuff like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure, sure.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think my father would give the same kind of advice in today\u2019s environment that he\u2019s given now.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you advised your sons to walk away?\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I have.\u00a0 There have been cases, though, where I\u2019ve told them this, \u201cNow, if you get yourself in a situation where you can\u2019t walk away, I don\u2019t want you hurt.\u00a0 You may need to protect yourself; but even if someone puts his hands on you, there are other ways of taking care of that by calling in the authorities and by stopping it because there is just too much violence, whether it\u2019s urban or suburban, right now.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe underlying thing that my father was teaching me was he knew that I was at an age where I needed to internalize courage.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t going to be around all the time to bail me out.\u00a0 He understood that protection was not necessarily always development\u2014that a part of development meant for me to own the resolution of my own conflicts and issues\u2014that I had to start to do that myself.\u00a0 It\u2019s a wise parent who understands that just because you can do something, doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that you should do it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Now, he could have gone down there and threatened the boy himself.\u00a0 He could have gone\u2014I mean, he\u2014there\u2019s a number of things he could have done, but that would have messed me up, down the road.\u00a0 Now, if I was being threatened for my life, then, he probably would have stepped in\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014as an advocate\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but he understood the situation.\u00a0 Courage is a vital part\u2014particularly, in the life of boys.\u00a0 They\u2019ve got to embrace courage.\u00a0 You cannot accomplish anything without a degree of courage.\u00a0 So, that was what he was mentoring in me\u2014to take a stand, to stand up for what is right, to draw a line in the sand, to communicate to others that, \u201cNo, you\u2019re not going to go here; and I\u2019m not going to let you do this to me.\u201d\u00a0 It is a matter of protecting dignity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your father was modeling 1 Peter, Chapter 5, verses 1 through 3, where Peter is giving some words of advice and exhortation to leaders in the church.\u00a0 He says in verse 1, \u201c...I urge the elders among you...\u201d then he\u2014after he urges them, he says, \u201c...shepherd the flock of God among you, not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sorted gain, but with eagerness; nor yet, lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe principle here, I think, is you\u2019ve got to own the responsibility of shepherding the flock and be in the midst of the sheep, helping them with the issues they\u2019re dealing with.\u00a0 Your dad was aware of that bully\u2014there are a lot of parents, Bob, that would never know that their son, or perhaps their daughter, was dealing with some peers who perhaps were working them over\u2014but to have that knowledge and, then, to step in there and to guide them and to direct them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>The \u201cwhat\u201d he told you to do is not so important in this situation as it is that he was there\u2014that he was guarding you, he was protecting you, and he loved you, out of your situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, the principle was take\u2014no matter what he told me to do\u2014that\u2019s a good point, Dennis\u2014was the principle is this, \u201cTake the initiative.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong> Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cTake the initiative to launch a path of resolution yourself, and you\u2019ve got to look at the problem in the eye.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn Joshua, Chapter 1, there is a four-fold descriptive definition of what courage is really all about.\u00a0 Courage, first of all, rests upon a clear assignment from God.\u00a0 For our purposes, it rests upon a clear goal\u2014knowing where you need to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber two is the assurance of God\u2019s presence with you.\u00a0 If you are pursuing the right thing, God is with you\u2014no matter what your given set of circumstances are all about.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we have to give to our children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Thirdly, it\u2019s focused determination.\u00a0 My father was teaching me, \u201cLook, not everybody in this world is going in the same direction you are going, Buddy.\u00a0 Just because you get some opposition, you can\u2019t cower in the corner and give up.\u00a0 You know what you are about.\u00a0 So, you don\u2019t let people trample on where you\u2019re going.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be determined, despite your environment, to keep pursuing what is right.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Fourthly, it really rests upon the biblical parameters of truth\u2014it\u2019s the Word of God.\u00a0 You draw your sense of direction and encouragement to keep fueling your direction from that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, he didn\u2019t articulate this; but as I look back on that experience with Jimmy, he was telling\u2014my dad, was telling me, \u201cSon, you know what you\u2019re about.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to keep on moving.\u00a0 You can\u2019t allow fear to stop you or to intimidate you.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to overcome this because one day you\u2019re going to be a dad.\u00a0 One day, you\u2019re going to be in situations that are frightening\u2014your kids are counting on you, your wife is counting on you, what are you going to do?\u00a0 [Are] you going to get in the car, go drive off into the sunset, and forget about everything?\u00a0 No, you\u2019re going to have to have some courage to hang in there\u2014not walk away.\u00a0 Do what needs to be done, protect your family, and keep on trucking.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard you speak, recently; and you made a statement.\u00a0 You said, \u201cParents need to quit protecting their kids as much as they do.\u201d\u00a0 When you said that, I looked out of the corner of my eye at my wife who was sitting next to me [Laughter] because I wanted to see what her reaction to that statement was.\u00a0 That is a hard call for parents to know, \u201cWhen do I protect, and when do I back off?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 Every kid has two broad categories of emotional needs.\u00a0 One is for nurture, affirmation, tender touch; but paradoxically, one is for daily doses of discipline and denial.\u00a0 There\u2019s a certain point in our lives where you really\u2014the wisest thing to do is to let that child feel some heat, in order for them to get the corresponding strength to be a blessing to others and not to be reliant and dependent.\u00a0 There is a magic moment in the development of a child where protection will actually hurt them and cripple them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, when I say, \u201cprotection\u201d, sure, we need to protect our children.\u00a0 There are other ways we need to protect them, morally.\u00a0 We need to protect them, and that\u2019s appropriate; but you have to have the strength of your own convictions.\u00a0 I\u2019m concerned that the Christian community sometimes so reacts to what\u2019s going on in the world\u2014and we\u2019ve pulled everybody outside of the storm\u2014that we forget that there\u2019s another way of walking through the rain.\u00a0 You get a raincoat on and umbrellas, and you get on out there.\u00a0 You can\u2019t stay in the shelter all the time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy father knew that unless the foolish activity of a child was changed, that I was going to find myself in situations where I needed to show up and I needed to have self-discipline; but I would bail out because my emotions would hold my behavior hostage, and I would end up destroying relationships.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of people, who can\u2019t hold on to jobs right now, who can\u2019t maintain relationships, who have gotten used to just doing whatever they want to do, are very unproductive.\u00a0 They\u2019re unhappy, and they are unfulfilled because parents let this stupid behavior go unchecked in the name of not wanting to lose the relationship.\u00a0 So, we need to push them out.\u00a0\u00a0 As I said, \u201cProtection is not necessarily development.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t agree more.\u00a0 If you think about weight lifting, weight lifting helps muscles develop.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 It applies weight against a muscle, which forces it to stretch and, ultimately, to be strengthened and to grow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we would do, as parents, is we would remove, if we just acted with our heart, that one side of the equation you were talking about and just met their emotional needs to be loved, and protected, and keep all those tensions out of their lives, we would create children who would become spiritual pygmies, who are never forced out of the womb into a world that\u2019s going to force them to determine, \u201cWhat do they believe?\u00a0 What is their character?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>That\u2019s why\u2014Crawford, what you\u2019re saying resonates with me, especially, out of Joshua, Chapter 1\u2014where three or four times in that passage, Joshua is being commanded to be strong and courageous and not fear, for God is with him.\u00a0 Today, the great need for parents, with our kids, first of all, is to be strong and courageous ourselves.\u00a0 We have got to have the real disease.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to be strong and courageous about our Christianity, and know what we believe, and press into the culture, and press back against evil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Secondly, we\u2019ve got to call our kids to the same thing.\u00a0 That means there are those moments, and they are divinely-ordered.\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how to know when they occur; but you\u2019ve been there, Crawford.\u00a0 You know, as a parent, they\u2019re divinely-ordered by God.\u00a0 Evil crosses our paths, and we have to step back and let our child determine what he believes, or what she believes, and strengthen their faith muscle.\u00a0 If they make the right choice, we can applaud them and encourage them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, now, I\u2019ve heard you say this, Dennis, and I agree with you.\u00a0 When they make the right choices, not only should we applaud them, we ought to have just such a crazy party to affirm that.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way they learn.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way they internalize it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to take your hands off of them.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to love them enough to put tape over your mouth and tie your hands behind your back and say, \u201cI\u2019m praying for you, but you need to walk through this valley by yourself.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What age are you talking about here?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it has to be done incrementally.\u00a0 I think it has to be done incrementally.\u00a0 I think the sooner a child can handle, incrementally, certain challenges, then, you come alongside them and you encourage them along the way.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s almost brutal and cruel after you have been so protective, then, all of a sudden, push them out there when they are 14-,15-,16-years-old.\u00a0 They haven\u2019t even tasted any of that stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, when they are young, as soon as you can, helping them take\u2014when a bully\u2014or they\u2019re like three or four years old, even in preschool, or so, and somebody is taking something from them\u2014to pull them over and say, \u201cNow, look, you tell them how you felt about that.\u00a0 You tell them that you don\u2019t want them to do that to you anymore\u2014that that is not right.\u201d\u00a0 You coach them through those moments so that you are building into their minds a catalogue of resources to draw from when they get into situations. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s interesting that you pointed out that it\u2019s a command to be courageous in Joshua, Chapter 1.\u00a0 Courage is not necessarily a product of a certain personality type, but it\u2019s a command.\u00a0 When you act courageous, you get more courage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 You get more courage.\u00a0 It\u2019s amazing to me that that bully situation, when I was 12-years-old and how I overcame that, stands as a monument and an encouragement to me when there were other issues in my life, down the road.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019re going to meet more Jimmies.\u00a0 I mean, the ride isn\u2019t over.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to meet Jimmies as long as you live.\u00a0 Some of them won\u2019t threaten you physically, but they\u2019ll have power games with you.\u00a0 You\u2019ll work with them.\u00a0 They\u2019ll try to manipulate your mind.\u00a0 They\u2019ll bully you in other kind of ways, and you\u2019ve got to know how to handle the situation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some of the Jimmies we\u2019re going to face won\u2019t be people\u2014they\u2019ll be choices like drugs, alcohol, sticking with a commitment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCrawford, your dad, as you write throughout your entire book here, had a profound impact on your life.\u00a0 A number of years ago, you were on our broadcast, <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We concluded that broadcast by asking you to give a tribute to your father, who was still alive at that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour father has passed away\u2014you write about that in your book\u2014but I thought, for just a moment, we would go back and replay what you said to your dad that day because he had a chance to listen in on the broadcast and hear these words.\u00a0 I thought our listeners ought to hear a piece of your heart about what you thought about the most important man in your life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Recorded Message]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dad, I love you.\u00a0 Thank you for the sacrifices of working over 30 years at A&amp;P Warehouse.\u00a0 Thank you for choosing not to get paid triple time on those Christmas\u2019s and other days when we needed the money, living in that small apartment in Newark, because you wanted to spend time with your kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThank you for not buying new cars until after we were grown because you wanted to have money for vacations, and you wanted to show us things.\u00a0 Thank you for teaching me and telling me that I\u2019m a man and standing with me during hard times.\u00a0 Everything I am today is because of you.\u00a0 Nobody may ever know who you are.\u00a0 You never made a big splash of it.\u00a0 You never blew your own trumpet, but you quietly did the deed; and thank you!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Studio]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember the day you did that in the studio?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do remember that day.\u00a0 He went on to live a couple of years after that, but that was kind of the downward slide for him.\u00a0 I had the privilege of telling him, before he died, how much I loved him.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have any regrets, but I do want to say this to the listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re estranged from your father and you\u2019ve got issues to take care of, and there is pain there, by an act of your will, give him a tribute.\u00a0 Tell him, despite the pain.\u00a0 Love is a choice.\u00a0 Deal with issues because the pain of losing them and having unfinished business is sometimes almost unbearable.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage them to do that.\u00a0 That would be the thing that I would leave with the listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s good.\u00a0 Crawford\u2014thanks.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us this week.\u00a0 We\u2019ll see you in Chicago tomorrow, as we get ready for the National Men\u2019s Simulcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if our listeners want more information about the event, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see a link there that will give you information on, not only the live event in Chicago, but the simulcast that\u2019s being hosted in churches, all across the country.\u00a0 Along with Crawford Loritts and Dennis Rainey, Pastor James MacDonald is going to join us, and Robert Lewis is going to be there, as well.\u00a0 Again, if you\u2019d like more information, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who have helped with a donation this week to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We could not do what we do without folks, like you, from time to time going online to make an online donation or calling 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 We appreciate your support of this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, this week, for those who have been able to help with a donation, we\u2019ve been sending out a CD copy of a message from Dennis about men stepping up to be courageous men and a CD message from Barbara Rainey about what a wife can do to help her husband step up and be the man God has called him to be.\u00a0 If you can make an online donation today at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ll get those CDs in the mail to you.\u00a0 If you want to make your donation by phone, call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Be sure to ask for the CDs by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get those out to you, as well.\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks for your financial support.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 <br><br>Well, we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 I hope you can join us back here on Monday when we\u2019re going to meet the couple whose true-life story inspired the movie, <em>The Vow<\/em>\u2014 that came out in theatres this year.\u00a0 I have to tell you, I didn\u2019t see the movie; but from everything I heard, the real-life story puts the movie to shame.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Krickitt:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was like living with a stranger because I didn\u2019t know who he was!\u00a0 I tried to step back into this life that I had been living.\u00a0 I wanted to do what was right.\u00a0 I wanted to do what I was supposed to be doing, but I was so confused that I didn\u2019t know what that was.\u00a0 I even went back to the same job that I had, prior to the car accident; but I didn\u2019t know how to do that job because it was wiped out, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kim:<\/strong>\u00a0 It would take a toll every day.\u00a0 Every day she had something mean to say.\u00a0 Then, other times, she was just\u2014she\u2019d just go with it and go along; but that part of our relationship was really, really hard.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ll meet Kim and Krickitt Carpenter on Monday.\u00a0 I hope you can be here for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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