{"id":302568,"date":"2012-08-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-08-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/passing-on-a-legacy\/"},"modified":"2012-08-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-08-01T15:00:00","slug":"passing-on-a-legacy","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/passing-on-a-legacy\/","title":{"rendered":"Passing On a Legacy"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Besides material &#8220;stuff,&#8221; what are you really passing on to your kids?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-01.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"42.58M","filesize_raw":"44651955","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2833],"tags":[4276],"podcast_series":[7889],"cwp_profile":[3076],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302568","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-godly-legacy","tag-legacy","podcast_series-never-walk-away","cwp_profile-crawford-loritts","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302568\/passing-on-a-legacy","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302568\/passing-on-a-legacy","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"0OtotZW9fo\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/passing-on-a-legacy\/\">Passing On a Legacy<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/passing-on-a-legacy\/embed\/#?secret=0OtotZW9fo\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Passing On a Legacy&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"0OtotZW9fo\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-01.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-01.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Will your sons be better men because they had you as a father?\u00a0 Crawford Loritts thinks all of us, as dads, have an assignment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Part of the ambivalence that we\u2019re seeing in men today is because we\u2019re wimping out on giving them a sense of direction\u2014no, not controlling their lives; but calling them to say that there are, \u201cCertain things are right and wrong, Buddy. Yes, I like you.\u00a0 I want to be your friend,\u201d but the patriarchs stood for purpose.\u00a0 They stood for direction.\u00a0 There was a mission that God had etched on their souls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, whether or not their succeeding generations want to follow it, that was up to them; but there was an, \u201cAs for me and my house, we\u2019re going to serve the Lord.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, August 1<sup>st<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about the important assignment God has given to every man who is a husband and a father\u2014the assignment of leading his family.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.\u00a0 Tell you what\u2014I\u2019m really looking forward to Saturday when you and I are going to be together in Chicago with James MacDonald, and with Robert Lewis, and with our guest today, Crawford Loritts, for the National Men\u2019s Simulcast, that\u2019s being hosted in Chicago and then, simulcast in churches and other locations, all around the country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought it would be fun for our listeners to hear how you and our guest today, Dr. Crawford Loritts, who is pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in suburban Atlanta, Georgia, in Roswell, Georgia.\u00a0 Thought it would be fun to hear how the two of you met.\u00a0 I asked you about it, and you don\u2019t remember.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don\u2019t.\u00a0 I do not remember.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But Crawford, you remember\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do definitely remember.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014meeting Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, you actually kind of saw him from a distance before you met him?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 From a distance, yes.\u00a0 We joined staff at Campus Crusade<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014Karen and I did\u2014in 1978.\u00a0 Part of what the responsibilities were, back then, is that you had to go to the Institute of Biblical Studies.\u00a0 Well, we went to that institute; and because I had a degree in Bible, I could be sort of selective in what I took.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI took this course on marriage and family and this kind of thing.\u00a0 Dennis Rainey taught the course.\u00a0 It was one of the most popular courses at CSU, Colorado State University, where Crusade holds its training.\u00a0 So, I met him.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t remember me.\u00a0 I was just a little flake in the back of the room.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 My most profound recollection of Crawford was a fishing trip that we went on, and I hired these scuba divers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014I hired these scuba divers, and Crawford caught 25\u2014as I recall that day\u2014and I only caught three or four.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, we really do need to do a program on repentance\u2014[Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and honesty.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, this was one of the shrewdest investments I\u2019ve ever made in anything because that scuba diver\u2014helping Crawford think that he was a fisherman\u2014I mean, he showed up with one of these metal poles with black thread.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know\u2014the black line that they used to use?\u00a0 Fish\u2014you\u2019d scare any self- respecting fish out of the water.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to go on record with the listening audience, right now, that Dennis Rainey has state-of-the-art fishing equipment.\u00a0 I went and got my little Zebco<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> action catfish fishing pole, and I skunked him!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That diver did his job, but the result of that\u2014I\u2019m just telling you\u2014this was a great investment\u2014the result of that was that Crawford joined the FamilyLife marriage conference speaker team and began speaking all around the country\u2014doing a great job and has had a great impact on families across the United States.\u00a0 Truthfully, that friendship, that goes all the way back to that boat, has endured.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had to forgive him for out-fishing me on that particular day, but we are going to have a lot of fun today.\u00a0 I think the real issue, Bob, is who\u2019s going to get the microphone because Crawford stimulates me to no end.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s written a book called <em>Never Walk Away<\/em>.\u00a0 There are lessons on integrity from his father.\u00a0 Crawford\u2019s father had a profound impact on Crawford\u2019s life.\u00a0 In fact, I want to read just a paragraph from Crawford\u2019s book.\u00a0 This paragraph summarizes what the book is about and really lays it on the bottom shelf.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI believe the greatest relational longing that a man has is the need for a heart connection with his father.\u00a0 When that connection is gone, whether it has been severed or was never established, it launches him into a passionate search for the love, approval, and affirmation of a dad.\u00a0 Men sometimes end up searching in the wrong place to fill that gap:\u00a0 gangs, ambivalent feelings about their manhood, sexual conquests, anger, insecurity and uncertainty, the inability to establish wholesome relationships, and a host of other challenges batter their minds and threaten the emotional security of their lives, without the heart connection with a father.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy do you believe that\u2019s so important?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, because men know how to be men when their father or another important male role model confers on them the blessing.\u00a0 The man only knows he\u2019s a man when another significant male role model or his dad tells him so\u2014that, \u201cYou\u2019re approved,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re okay, and you\u2019re going somewhere.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are talking about Malachi, Chapter 4, verse 6\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014which is how the Old Testament ends.\u00a0 It\u2019s the last verse before 400 years of silence, and Jesus Christ steps onto the scene.\u00a0 It reads, \u201cAnd He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis heart connection is a spiritual connection\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of the most profound proportions.\u00a0 A lot of times, that connection\u2014the way God cements two people\u2019s hearts together\u2014is through adversity, through struggle.\u00a0 You learned a great deal from your dad as he made choices in the midst of adverse situations; didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I did.\u00a0 I learned from my dad the words, \u201cObligation and responsibility are not profane words,\u201d \u2014that you operated, in life, based upon commitments and not based upon how you felt.\u00a0 I watched him every day of his life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the most profound conversations that I ever heard between my mother and father took place when I was about four or five years old.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know all the details, but I remember this statement as if I heard it yesterday.\u00a0 They were talking about him having to work\u2014I don\u2019t know whether it was Thanksgiving or around the Christmas holidays\u2014you know, he was a warehouse worker; and he could have gotten paid triple time.\u00a0 God knows we needed the money.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember\u2014and my dad worked nights\u2014and I remember my father saying to my mother, \u201cSylvia, if I worked triple time, if I worked over this holiday\u2014that would be blood money because I\u2019ve been away from these kids too much.\u201d\u00a0 For whatever reason, that grabbed me.\u00a0 I felt valued.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t understand all the implications of that at that age or what all that meant, but the expression \u201cblood money\u201d\u2014and Pop always demonstrated\u2014he was willing to sacrifice the right thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad never did a whole lot of outside stuff, socially, apart from his family.\u00a0 He knew that he worked nights.\u00a0 He knew that time was limited, and Pop never hung out with the boys.\u00a0 If I wasn\u2019t included or my sisters weren\u2019t included, he just simply didn\u2019t do it.\u00a0 He set a priority on his family.\u00a0 He worked.\u00a0 He gave himself to us.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have a lot of stuff.\u00a0 We were working-class people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You lived in Newark?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 We lived in the central part of Newark.\u00a0 I lived at 83 Wilson Street, in a third-floor apartment, there\u2014five rooms in that apartment, small rooms.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think dads today are trying to give their kids stuff.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know how to make this heart connection, Crawford.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know how to cement our souls to our sons and our daughters.\u00a0 The easiest thing to do is to write a check and give a gift, or to take them some place, and not find that heart being connected as Malachi was talking about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we keep doing penance with our children rather than giving them a positive direction.\u00a0 I grew up in an environment where Dad just was there, and he loved us.\u00a0 Even though he worked\u2014here\u2019s the key.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t there a lot; but we knew we had access to him because when he was there, he was all there.\u00a0 We had access to his heart.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t give us a lot of stuff\u2014not back then.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was about 11 and 12, there was a major financial shift.\u00a0 He was able to do a lot more. By the time I went to college, he could write the check then; but it was those formative years of just hanging out with Pop\u2014just riding around in the car with him, just walking down the street with him and saying, \u201cWhat do you want to do?\u2014him grabbing me and putting me on his lap.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d go to the\u2014he was an avid baseball fan.\u00a0 Every Saturday when the Yankees<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> were in town, we\u2019d go over, in a Hudson tube, to New York, catch the subway up to the Bronx.\u00a0 My memories are not so much about the ball games but just being with him.\u00a0 I can remember falling asleep on his lap on the train, coming back and the smell of Old Spice<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> deodorant and his arm draped over me.\u00a0 It is\u2014that\u2019s the kind of thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s the blood-money statement.\u00a0 It\u2019s those memories.\u00a0 It\u2019s taking me to Uncle Milty\u2019s Amusement Park.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember all the details there, but I remember being with my dad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you something.\u00a0 You resonate with me on this one, Crawford, and you know that.\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked a great deal about this.\u00a0 I think the need today is for young men to set their goal to become a godly patriarch.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The whole idea of a patriarch, of a spiritual leader who is a servant, a self-denying leader who gives up his life on behalf of the flock\u2014we\u2019re not talking about a Hitler, a Gestapo leader who is demanding his rights\u2014but a man who is serving his family by getting involved in these issues and guiding the ship\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014setting a direction, giving it a vision, calling out the harbor that we\u2019re headed for, and then, nursing it back when it gets off course.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 You see\u2014I believe men rise to challenge.\u00a0 Part of the ambivalence that we\u2019re seeing in men today is because we\u2019re wimping out on giving them a sense of direction\u2014no not controlling their lives\u2014but calling them to say that there are, \u201cCertain things are right and wrong, Buddy.\u00a0 Yes, I like you.\u00a0 I want to be your friend,\u201d but the patriarchs stood for purpose.\u00a0 They stood for direction.\u00a0 There was a mission that God had etched on their souls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, whether or not their succeeding generations want to follow it, that was up to them; but there was an, \u201cAs for me and my house, we\u2019re going to serve the Lord.\u201d\u00a0 Now, you can make some decisions about that.\u00a0 We\u2019re losing these generations because we\u2019re scared of them.\u00a0 We\u2019re scared of our kids.\u00a0 We\u2019re afraid that they won\u2019t like us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re afraid we\u2019re going to make a mistake, too.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to be the perfect dad.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to do it like Crawford Loritts does it, or Bob Lepine, or Jim Dobson.\u00a0 We\u2019re not going to do it perfectly; so, we\u2019re not going to try.\u201d\u00a0 The easiest thing to do is do nothing\u2014I say that to my kids all the time.\u00a0 The reason I love them and step into their lives is because I do want to provide that guidance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think today, Crawford, there is a rumbling in the souls of men.\u00a0 You can see it in their faces.\u00a0 They want to be called out to become these patriarchs.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and they want somebody to have the courage to help them to get there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad had something\u2014he had a lot of faults, and I mean I could be here all day.\u00a0 If you say that, I mean\u2014he had a short fuse.\u00a0 He was impatient.\u00a0 There were a number of\u2014there were some mega downsides to him; but one of the things he had, which was unusual for his generation\u2014my father would apologize.\u00a0 As tough as he was on one hand, if he blew it with us or if he blew it with me, he would look me square in the eye and say, \u201cBoy, I was wrong.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 That kept me near his heart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of us\u2014my two older sisters, my mom\u2014because he had a tender heart and even though he was strong, if he blew it, he\u2019d come back and apologize; but you were always clear about where this ship was going.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You talk about being a strong leader, and I think we are concerned about not wanting to be controllers of our children.\u00a0 I think we\u2019re also concerned about not wanting them to rebel.\u00a0 When kids hit adolescence and they start to push back, I think parents are a little worried, \u201cAm I sowing seeds of rebellion in the heart of a child?\u00a0 Am I doing something that is going to cause my child to kind of shut himself off or shut herself off?\u00a0 Am I going to lose the relationship?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s when parents get that chill that runs down their spine, and they start to soften a little.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me tell you a little story\u2014a true story about\u2014my dad and I almost lost our relationship when I was 19 years old.\u00a0 What happened was that my father played baseball.\u00a0 My dad never had a lot of expectations on me\u2014never had a lot of them in terms of what I wanted to be.\u00a0 He was pretty laid back about that.\u00a0 He just\u2014in terms of the moral side and character\u2014is where he was coming from.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>However, there was this subtle tendency\u2014my dad lost an eye in a coal mining accident, which ended his baseball career.\u00a0 My mom says from the time I was\u2014before I was potty-trained, I had a ball glove on.\u00a0 I played the game.\u00a0 I was pretty good at it, but I gave my life to Christ as a teenager.\u00a0 As anyone who has every played sports\u2014it\u2019s more than talent to take you to the next level.\u00a0 It\u2019s a passion and a fire that you have to have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, in my later teens, I lost that fire.\u00a0 I had an increasing desire to serve Christ and to serve the Lord.\u00a0 I went off to a Bible college.\u00a0 Now, get the picture here.\u00a0 My dad knew that I was playing\u2014I had talent.\u00a0 I stopped playing ball.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to this Bible college\u2014that he didn\u2019t know anything about\u2014not that he was against me going into ministry, but he wasn\u2019t certain, and they didn\u2019t even have a good baseball team.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I grew this afro\u2014huge afro.\u00a0 This\u2014we\u2019re talking the late 60\u2019s here.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to understand, my dad was a little slow on that curve there.\u00a0 He was more of a conservative kind of dude.\u00a0 So, I had this huge head of hair.\u00a0 I wish our listeners could look at Dennis Rainey in the studio right now because I don\u2019t have that hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And where you\u2019re\u2014[Laughter]\u2014and where you\u2019re holding your hands about how huge the afro was.\u00a0 I\u2019m just kind of trying to picture that; okay?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 But I\u2019ve seen some old pictures of you, too, Dennis!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, my father\u2014and I felt this tension.\u00a0 I\u2019d go back and forth.\u00a0 Here I am\u2014you get the picture.\u00a0 I\u2019m at a Bible college, and I\u2019m not playing baseball.\u00a0 Here I am, looking like some radical leader of some fringe-group here.\u00a0 I came home for a visit one weekend, and Pop was cool toward me that whole weekend.\u00a0 He was just really cool toward me, and I could just sort of feel the tension.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI asked him to take me back to the train station so I can get a ride back\u2014this is Sunday afternoon.\u00a0 He simply said to me, \u201cI\u2019m not taking you anywhere with your hair looking like that.\u201d\u00a0 I knew it wasn\u2019t about the hair, and he knew it wasn\u2019t about the hair.\u00a0 I did something that I had never done before.\u00a0 I just stopped and looked him, square in the eye.\u00a0 I said, \u201cThis is not about my hair,\u201d and I raised my voice\u2014no, I screamed at him.\u00a0 I told him I was going to be whatever I wanted to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d been feeling this pressure about baseball and all his expectations, and I wasn\u2019t going to do it.\u00a0 I was going to do what God told me to do.\u00a0 Here I am, talking about God, but my whole\u2014I\u2019m screaming at my father\u2014get this picture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, really.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 My sisters were standing there with their mouths open.\u00a0 I guess they were waiting for me to get up off the floor or something because he\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 After he knocked you down?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, but he looked at me and never said a word!\u00a0 I stormed out of the house, slammed the door\u2014how\u2019s that for a spiritual response?\u00a0 Still didn\u2019t have a ride to the train station, by the way.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I said I was never coming home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just fast forward the story here.\u00a0 A couple of weeks after that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you left without any apology?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 None.\u00a0 No, I was ticked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The air was still\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was thick.\u00a0 I was\u2014and he was in shock because I guess he thought I\u2019d gone crazy or something.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The reason I make that point is because I think, as a parent, when you\u2019re the one left in the house and you\u2019ve watched the kid storm out of the house, you\u2019re left wondering, \u201cHave I lost them?\u00a0 What\u2019s going on?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\u00a0 Two weeks went by.\u00a0 My mother\u2014and the combination of a tearful phone call from my mother and the conviction of the Holy Spirit, I decided to come home and make things right with Pop.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t say anything to me.\u00a0 He never said a word to me during that period of time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI came back home, and there wasn\u2019t a tearful apology.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t any embrace.\u00a0 When I walked in the house, he put his arm on my shoulder and looked me in the eye.\u00a0 He said, \u201cBoy, you can be whatever you want to be, and you have my blessing,\u201d and that was all.\u00a0 I saw fear in his eyes and I heard fear in his voice.\u00a0 I felt it, myself\u2014that we were on the verge of losing something that had been built into us.\u00a0 That was a very important rite of passage.\u00a0 From that moment on, he treated me more as a peer than as his little boy.\u00a0 I learned a valuable lesson in that and how I try to respond to my boys and to watch my expectations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, we talk about this in conferences and all this other kind of stuff; but there are subtle expectations we have for our kids.\u00a0 We have to watch that!\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to watch that and continue to release them to be what God wants them to be so that we don\u2019t sever those relationships.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we can overdo it.\u00a0 If you let them know they are loved for who they are as your child and you are well pleased\u2014at that point, if that comes through in words, in attitude, in physical affirmation, in kisses and hugs and embraces, maybe a letter, a phone call.\u00a0 Everybody goes through self-doubt, and I believe God uses our fathers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCrawford, I want you to just take a moment right now and speak to that man who hasn\u2019t had that father, who hasn\u2019t had that authority figure in his life to approve of them.\u00a0 What would you say to that man?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say three things.\u00a0 Number one:\u00a0 You\u2019ve got the greatest father in the world, God.\u00a0 If you have a vital relationship with Him, by repenting of your sin and embracing Christ as your Savior and Lord, He will father you.\u00a0 David said, \u201cWhen my mother and father forsake me, then, the Lord will take me up.\u201d\u00a0 God has given you those tender words in the Scriptures that you\u2019re fearfully and wonderfully made.\u00a0 So, I would run to embrace that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, I would fall on my knees before God, and say\u2014and cry out to Him and tell Him, \u201cI haven\u2019t had a father.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t had someone to affirm me.\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019m angry with my earthly father for walking out on me.\u00a0 I\u2019m angry because of the abuse.\u00a0 Would You touch my heart, and would You bring people into my life?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, thirdly, become aggressive initiators.\u00a0 Go find somebody!\u00a0 Don\u2019t just sit around and sulk and sour.\u00a0 Go find an older man in your church and say, \u201cI\u2019ve got some gaps in my life, and I need you to help me work through some areas of my life.\u00a0 Let me just share my story.\u00a0 Would you pray for me?\u00a0 Would you meet with me and hold me accountable?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I don\u2019t know how many of our listeners have got a group of guys like that, that they get with on a regular basis; but every man ought to have that small group.\u00a0 I\u2019m not talking about a formal small group.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about the guys who you\u2019re going to do life with, who you\u2019re going to sharpen iron with.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got to think that on Saturday, when we\u2019re together in Chicago for the National Men\u2019s Simulcast that we\u2019re hosting\u2014Crawford, you\u2019re going to be speaking.\u00a0 Dennis, you\u2019re going to speak\u2014Robert Lewis, James MacDonald.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to think that the guys who are showing up there in Chicago and the guys who are showing up in churches all around the country for this event\u2014a lot of them are going to be there with their brothers, the guys that they are walking with; but there may be some guys who show up and they don\u2019t have that group of guys\u2014that they\u2019re locked arms and locked shoulders with.\u00a0 You need that.\u00a0 We all need that, as guys.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, some of the material we are putting together\u2014the video series and the video event that are all based on material from Dennis\u2019 book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u00a0 Crawford, you are a part of that video event and that video series.\u00a0 This is all designed to help men understand what God\u2019s Word has to say about being men and, then, help them connect with other guys to walk the journey with.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com if you\u2019d like more information about Dennis\u2019 book, about some of the video resources that we are developing now that are going to be out later this fall, or about this Saturday\u2019s event\u2014the National Men\u2019s Simulcast, with Crawford Loritts, Dennis Rainey, James MacDonald, and Robert Lewis.\u00a0 <br><br>If you\u2019d like to attend the event, there may be a church in your area that is hosting, where you could get a group of guys and go together and be a part of this National Men\u2019s Simulcast.\u00a0\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s this Saturday morning 9 to 1 Eastern time, 8 to noon Central time.\u00a0 Again, more information about all the time zones and how all that\u2019s working can be found online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or if you have any questions, give us a call at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention\u2014this week, we\u2019re making available to the folks who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, with a donation, a copy of a CD message from Dennis about stepping up to manhood and a message from your wife Barbara about what a wife can do to help her husband step up and be the man that God has called him to be.\u00a0 Those CDs are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you, who not only listen to <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> but who make this program possible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make an occasional donation or those of you who are Legacy Partners\u2014make a monthly donation to help support us\u2014you help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program on this station and around the world, on the internet.\u00a0 We appreciate that partnership.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019d love to send you this thank-you gift when you make a donation this week to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the orange button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d.\u00a0 Make your online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 If you make your donation over the phone, be sure to ask for the CDs from Dennis and Barbara.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be happy to get those out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue our conversation with Crawford Loritts about the power of a dad\u2014the power of a man in the life of his son.\u00a0 Hope you can join us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["42.58M"],"filesize_raw":["44651955"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302568.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302568.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% 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material \"stuff,\" what are you really passing on to your kids?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-08-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Will your sons be better men because they had you as a father?\u00a0 Crawford Loritts thinks all of us, as dads, have an assignment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Part of the ambivalence that we\u2019re seeing in men today is because we\u2019re wimping out on giving them a sense of direction\u2014no, not controlling their lives; but calling them to say that there are, \u201cCertain things are right and wrong, Buddy. Yes, I like you.\u00a0 I want to be your friend,\u201d but the patriarchs stood for purpose.\u00a0 They stood for direction.\u00a0 There was a mission that God had etched on their souls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, whether or not their succeeding generations want to follow it, that was up to them; but there was an, \u201cAs for me and my house, we\u2019re going to serve the Lord.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, August 1<sup>st<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about the important assignment God has given to every man who is a husband and a father\u2014the assignment of leading his family.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.\u00a0 Tell you what\u2014I\u2019m really looking forward to Saturday when you and I are going to be together in Chicago with James MacDonald, and with Robert Lewis, and with our guest today, Crawford Loritts, for the National Men\u2019s Simulcast, that\u2019s being hosted in Chicago and then, simulcast in churches and other locations, all around the country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought it would be fun for our listeners to hear how you and our guest today, Dr. Crawford Loritts, who is pastor at Fellowship Bible Church in suburban Atlanta, Georgia, in Roswell, Georgia.\u00a0 Thought it would be fun to hear how the two of you met.\u00a0 I asked you about it, and you don\u2019t remember.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don\u2019t.\u00a0 I do not remember.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But Crawford, you remember\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do definitely remember.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014meeting Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, you actually kind of saw him from a distance before you met him?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 From a distance, yes.\u00a0 We joined staff at Campus Crusade<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014Karen and I did\u2014in 1978.\u00a0 Part of what the responsibilities were, back then, is that you had to go to the Institute of Biblical Studies.\u00a0 Well, we went to that institute; and because I had a degree in Bible, I could be sort of selective in what I took.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI took this course on marriage and family and this kind of thing.\u00a0 Dennis Rainey taught the course.\u00a0 It was one of the most popular courses at CSU, Colorado State University, where Crusade holds its training.\u00a0 So, I met him.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t remember me.\u00a0 I was just a little flake in the back of the room.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 My most profound recollection of Crawford was a fishing trip that we went on, and I hired these scuba divers\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014I hired these scuba divers, and Crawford caught 25\u2014as I recall that day\u2014and I only caught three or four.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, we really do need to do a program on repentance\u2014[Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and honesty.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, this was one of the shrewdest investments I\u2019ve ever made in anything because that scuba diver\u2014helping Crawford think that he was a fisherman\u2014I mean, he showed up with one of these metal poles with black thread.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know\u2014the black line that they used to use?\u00a0 Fish\u2014you\u2019d scare any self- respecting fish out of the water.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to go on record with the listening audience, right now, that Dennis Rainey has state-of-the-art fishing equipment.\u00a0 I went and got my little Zebco<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> action catfish fishing pole, and I skunked him!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That diver did his job, but the result of that\u2014I\u2019m just telling you\u2014this was a great investment\u2014the result of that was that Crawford joined the FamilyLife marriage conference speaker team and began speaking all around the country\u2014doing a great job and has had a great impact on families across the United States.\u00a0 Truthfully, that friendship, that goes all the way back to that boat, has endured.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had to forgive him for out-fishing me on that particular day, but we are going to have a lot of fun today.\u00a0 I think the real issue, Bob, is who\u2019s going to get the microphone because Crawford stimulates me to no end.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s written a book called <em>Never Walk Away<\/em>.\u00a0 There are lessons on integrity from his father.\u00a0 Crawford\u2019s father had a profound impact on Crawford\u2019s life.\u00a0 In fact, I want to read just a paragraph from Crawford\u2019s book.\u00a0 This paragraph summarizes what the book is about and really lays it on the bottom shelf.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI believe the greatest relational longing that a man has is the need for a heart connection with his father.\u00a0 When that connection is gone, whether it has been severed or was never established, it launches him into a passionate search for the love, approval, and affirmation of a dad.\u00a0 Men sometimes end up searching in the wrong place to fill that gap:\u00a0 gangs, ambivalent feelings about their manhood, sexual conquests, anger, insecurity and uncertainty, the inability to establish wholesome relationships, and a host of other challenges batter their minds and threaten the emotional security of their lives, without the heart connection with a father.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy do you believe that\u2019s so important?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, because men know how to be men when their father or another important male role model confers on them the blessing.\u00a0 The man only knows he\u2019s a man when another significant male role model or his dad tells him so\u2014that, \u201cYou\u2019re approved,\u201d \u201cYou\u2019re okay, and you\u2019re going somewhere.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are talking about Malachi, Chapter 4, verse 6\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014which is how the Old Testament ends.\u00a0 It\u2019s the last verse before 400 years of silence, and Jesus Christ steps onto the scene.\u00a0 It reads, \u201cAnd He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the land with a curse.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis heart connection is a spiritual connection\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of the most profound proportions.\u00a0 A lot of times, that connection\u2014the way God cements two people\u2019s hearts together\u2014is through adversity, through struggle.\u00a0 You learned a great deal from your dad as he made choices in the midst of adverse situations; didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I did.\u00a0 I learned from my dad the words, \u201cObligation and responsibility are not profane words,\u201d \u2014that you operated, in life, based upon commitments and not based upon how you felt.\u00a0 I watched him every day of his life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the most profound conversations that I ever heard between my mother and father took place when I was about four or five years old.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know all the details, but I remember this statement as if I heard it yesterday.\u00a0 They were talking about him having to work\u2014I don\u2019t know whether it was Thanksgiving or around the Christmas holidays\u2014you know, he was a warehouse worker; and he could have gotten paid triple time.\u00a0 God knows we needed the money.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember\u2014and my dad worked nights\u2014and I remember my father saying to my mother, \u201cSylvia, if I worked triple time, if I worked over this holiday\u2014that would be blood money because I\u2019ve been away from these kids too much.\u201d\u00a0 For whatever reason, that grabbed me.\u00a0 I felt valued.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t understand all the implications of that at that age or what all that meant, but the expression \u201cblood money\u201d\u2014and Pop always demonstrated\u2014he was willing to sacrifice the right thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad never did a whole lot of outside stuff, socially, apart from his family.\u00a0 He knew that he worked nights.\u00a0 He knew that time was limited, and Pop never hung out with the boys.\u00a0 If I wasn\u2019t included or my sisters weren\u2019t included, he just simply didn\u2019t do it.\u00a0 He set a priority on his family.\u00a0 He worked.\u00a0 He gave himself to us.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have a lot of stuff.\u00a0 We were working-class people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You lived in Newark?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 We lived in the central part of Newark.\u00a0 I lived at 83 Wilson Street, in a third-floor apartment, there\u2014five rooms in that apartment, small rooms.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think dads today are trying to give their kids stuff.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know how to make this heart connection, Crawford.\u00a0 We don\u2019t know how to cement our souls to our sons and our daughters.\u00a0 The easiest thing to do is to write a check and give a gift, or to take them some place, and not find that heart being connected as Malachi was talking about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we keep doing penance with our children rather than giving them a positive direction.\u00a0 I grew up in an environment where Dad just was there, and he loved us.\u00a0 Even though he worked\u2014here\u2019s the key.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t there a lot; but we knew we had access to him because when he was there, he was all there.\u00a0 We had access to his heart.\u00a0 He couldn\u2019t give us a lot of stuff\u2014not back then.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was about 11 and 12, there was a major financial shift.\u00a0 He was able to do a lot more. By the time I went to college, he could write the check then; but it was those formative years of just hanging out with Pop\u2014just riding around in the car with him, just walking down the street with him and saying, \u201cWhat do you want to do?\u2014him grabbing me and putting me on his lap.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d go to the\u2014he was an avid baseball fan.\u00a0 Every Saturday when the Yankees<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> were in town, we\u2019d go over, in a Hudson tube, to New York, catch the subway up to the Bronx.\u00a0 My memories are not so much about the ball games but just being with him.\u00a0 I can remember falling asleep on his lap on the train, coming back and the smell of Old Spice<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> deodorant and his arm draped over me.\u00a0 It is\u2014that\u2019s the kind of thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s the blood-money statement.\u00a0 It\u2019s those memories.\u00a0 It\u2019s taking me to Uncle Milty\u2019s Amusement Park.\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember all the details there, but I remember being with my dad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you something.\u00a0 You resonate with me on this one, Crawford, and you know that.\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked a great deal about this.\u00a0 I think the need today is for young men to set their goal to become a godly patriarch.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The whole idea of a patriarch, of a spiritual leader who is a servant, a self-denying leader who gives up his life on behalf of the flock\u2014we\u2019re not talking about a Hitler, a Gestapo leader who is demanding his rights\u2014but a man who is serving his family by getting involved in these issues and guiding the ship\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014setting a direction, giving it a vision, calling out the harbor that we\u2019re headed for, and then, nursing it back when it gets off course.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 You see\u2014I believe men rise to challenge.\u00a0 Part of the ambivalence that we\u2019re seeing in men today is because we\u2019re wimping out on giving them a sense of direction\u2014no not controlling their lives\u2014but calling them to say that there are, \u201cCertain things are right and wrong, Buddy.\u00a0 Yes, I like you.\u00a0 I want to be your friend,\u201d but the patriarchs stood for purpose.\u00a0 They stood for direction.\u00a0 There was a mission that God had etched on their souls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, whether or not their succeeding generations want to follow it, that was up to them; but there was an, \u201cAs for me and my house, we\u2019re going to serve the Lord.\u201d\u00a0 Now, you can make some decisions about that.\u00a0 We\u2019re losing these generations because we\u2019re scared of them.\u00a0 We\u2019re scared of our kids.\u00a0 We\u2019re afraid that they won\u2019t like us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019re afraid we\u2019re going to make a mistake, too.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m not going to be the perfect dad.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to do it like Crawford Loritts does it, or Bob Lepine, or Jim Dobson.\u00a0 We\u2019re not going to do it perfectly; so, we\u2019re not going to try.\u201d\u00a0 The easiest thing to do is do nothing\u2014I say that to my kids all the time.\u00a0 The reason I love them and step into their lives is because I do want to provide that guidance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think today, Crawford, there is a rumbling in the souls of men.\u00a0 You can see it in their faces.\u00a0 They want to be called out to become these patriarchs.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and they want somebody to have the courage to help them to get there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad had something\u2014he had a lot of faults, and I mean I could be here all day.\u00a0 If you say that, I mean\u2014he had a short fuse.\u00a0 He was impatient.\u00a0 There were a number of\u2014there were some mega downsides to him; but one of the things he had, which was unusual for his generation\u2014my father would apologize.\u00a0 As tough as he was on one hand, if he blew it with us or if he blew it with me, he would look me square in the eye and say, \u201cBoy, I was wrong.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 That kept me near his heart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll of us\u2014my two older sisters, my mom\u2014because he had a tender heart and even though he was strong, if he blew it, he\u2019d come back and apologize; but you were always clear about where this ship was going.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You talk about being a strong leader, and I think we are concerned about not wanting to be controllers of our children.\u00a0 I think we\u2019re also concerned about not wanting them to rebel.\u00a0 When kids hit adolescence and they start to push back, I think parents are a little worried, \u201cAm I sowing seeds of rebellion in the heart of a child?\u00a0 Am I doing something that is going to cause my child to kind of shut himself off or shut herself off?\u00a0 Am I going to lose the relationship?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s when parents get that chill that runs down their spine, and they start to soften a little.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me tell you a little story\u2014a true story about\u2014my dad and I almost lost our relationship when I was 19 years old.\u00a0 What happened was that my father played baseball.\u00a0 My dad never had a lot of expectations on me\u2014never had a lot of them in terms of what I wanted to be.\u00a0 He was pretty laid back about that.\u00a0 He just\u2014in terms of the moral side and character\u2014is where he was coming from.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>However, there was this subtle tendency\u2014my dad lost an eye in a coal mining accident, which ended his baseball career.\u00a0 My mom says from the time I was\u2014before I was potty-trained, I had a ball glove on.\u00a0 I played the game.\u00a0 I was pretty good at it, but I gave my life to Christ as a teenager.\u00a0 As anyone who has every played sports\u2014it\u2019s more than talent to take you to the next level.\u00a0 It\u2019s a passion and a fire that you have to have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, in my later teens, I lost that fire.\u00a0 I had an increasing desire to serve Christ and to serve the Lord.\u00a0 I went off to a Bible college.\u00a0 Now, get the picture here.\u00a0 My dad knew that I was playing\u2014I had talent.\u00a0 I stopped playing ball.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to this Bible college\u2014that he didn\u2019t know anything about\u2014not that he was against me going into ministry, but he wasn\u2019t certain, and they didn\u2019t even have a good baseball team.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I grew this afro\u2014huge afro.\u00a0 This\u2014we\u2019re talking the late 60\u2019s here.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to understand, my dad was a little slow on that curve there.\u00a0 He was more of a conservative kind of dude.\u00a0 So, I had this huge head of hair.\u00a0 I wish our listeners could look at Dennis Rainey in the studio right now because I don\u2019t have that hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And where you\u2019re\u2014[Laughter]\u2014and where you\u2019re holding your hands about how huge the afro was.\u00a0 I\u2019m just kind of trying to picture that; okay?\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 But I\u2019ve seen some old pictures of you, too, Dennis!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, my father\u2014and I felt this tension.\u00a0 I\u2019d go back and forth.\u00a0 Here I am\u2014you get the picture.\u00a0 I\u2019m at a Bible college, and I\u2019m not playing baseball.\u00a0 Here I am, looking like some radical leader of some fringe-group here.\u00a0 I came home for a visit one weekend, and Pop was cool toward me that whole weekend.\u00a0 He was just really cool toward me, and I could just sort of feel the tension.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI asked him to take me back to the train station so I can get a ride back\u2014this is Sunday afternoon.\u00a0 He simply said to me, \u201cI\u2019m not taking you anywhere with your hair looking like that.\u201d\u00a0 I knew it wasn\u2019t about the hair, and he knew it wasn\u2019t about the hair.\u00a0 I did something that I had never done before.\u00a0 I just stopped and looked him, square in the eye.\u00a0 I said, \u201cThis is not about my hair,\u201d and I raised my voice\u2014no, I screamed at him.\u00a0 I told him I was going to be whatever I wanted to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019d been feeling this pressure about baseball and all his expectations, and I wasn\u2019t going to do it.\u00a0 I was going to do what God told me to do.\u00a0 Here I am, talking about God, but my whole\u2014I\u2019m screaming at my father\u2014get this picture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, really.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 My sisters were standing there with their mouths open.\u00a0 I guess they were waiting for me to get up off the floor or something because he\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 After he knocked you down?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, but he looked at me and never said a word!\u00a0 I stormed out of the house, slammed the door\u2014how\u2019s that for a spiritual response?\u00a0 Still didn\u2019t have a ride to the train station, by the way.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I said I was never coming home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just fast forward the story here.\u00a0 A couple of weeks after that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you left without any apology?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 None.\u00a0 No, I was ticked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The air was still\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was thick.\u00a0 I was\u2014and he was in shock because I guess he thought I\u2019d gone crazy or something.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The reason I make that point is because I think, as a parent, when you\u2019re the one left in the house and you\u2019ve watched the kid storm out of the house, you\u2019re left wondering, \u201cHave I lost them?\u00a0 What\u2019s going on?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\u00a0 Two weeks went by.\u00a0 My mother\u2014and the combination of a tearful phone call from my mother and the conviction of the Holy Spirit, I decided to come home and make things right with Pop.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t say anything to me.\u00a0 He never said a word to me during that period of time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI came back home, and there wasn\u2019t a tearful apology.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t any embrace.\u00a0 When I walked in the house, he put his arm on my shoulder and looked me in the eye.\u00a0 He said, \u201cBoy, you can be whatever you want to be, and you have my blessing,\u201d and that was all.\u00a0 I saw fear in his eyes and I heard fear in his voice.\u00a0 I felt it, myself\u2014that we were on the verge of losing something that had been built into us.\u00a0 That was a very important rite of passage.\u00a0 From that moment on, he treated me more as a peer than as his little boy.\u00a0 I learned a valuable lesson in that and how I try to respond to my boys and to watch my expectations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, we talk about this in conferences and all this other kind of stuff; but there are subtle expectations we have for our kids.\u00a0 We have to watch that!\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to watch that and continue to release them to be what God wants them to be so that we don\u2019t sever those relationships.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we can overdo it.\u00a0 If you let them know they are loved for who they are as your child and you are well pleased\u2014at that point, if that comes through in words, in attitude, in physical affirmation, in kisses and hugs and embraces, maybe a letter, a phone call.\u00a0 Everybody goes through self-doubt, and I believe God uses our fathers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCrawford, I want you to just take a moment right now and speak to that man who hasn\u2019t had that father, who hasn\u2019t had that authority figure in his life to approve of them.\u00a0 What would you say to that man?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Crawford:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say three things.\u00a0 Number one:\u00a0 You\u2019ve got the greatest father in the world, God.\u00a0 If you have a vital relationship with Him, by repenting of your sin and embracing Christ as your Savior and Lord, He will father you.\u00a0 David said, \u201cWhen my mother and father forsake me, then, the Lord will take me up.\u201d\u00a0 God has given you those tender words in the Scriptures that you\u2019re fearfully and wonderfully made.\u00a0 So, I would run to embrace that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, I would fall on my knees before God, and say\u2014and cry out to Him and tell Him, \u201cI haven\u2019t had a father.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t had someone to affirm me.\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019m angry with my earthly father for walking out on me.\u00a0 I\u2019m angry because of the abuse.\u00a0 Would You touch my heart, and would You bring people into my life?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, thirdly, become aggressive initiators.\u00a0 Go find somebody!\u00a0 Don\u2019t just sit around and sulk and sour.\u00a0 Go find an older man in your church and say, \u201cI\u2019ve got some gaps in my life, and I need you to help me work through some areas of my life.\u00a0 Let me just share my story.\u00a0 Would you pray for me?\u00a0 Would you meet with me and hold me accountable?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I don\u2019t know how many of our listeners have got a group of guys like that, that they get with on a regular basis; but every man ought to have that small group.\u00a0 I\u2019m not talking about a formal small group.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about the guys who you\u2019re going to do life with, who you\u2019re going to sharpen iron with.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI got to think that on Saturday, when we\u2019re together in Chicago for the National Men\u2019s Simulcast that we\u2019re hosting\u2014Crawford, you\u2019re going to be speaking.\u00a0 Dennis, you\u2019re going to speak\u2014Robert Lewis, James MacDonald.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to think that the guys who are showing up there in Chicago and the guys who are showing up in churches all around the country for this event\u2014a lot of them are going to be there with their brothers, the guys that they are walking with; but there may be some guys who show up and they don\u2019t have that group of guys\u2014that they\u2019re locked arms and locked shoulders with.\u00a0 You need that.\u00a0 We all need that, as guys.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, some of the material we are putting together\u2014the video series and the video event that are all based on material from Dennis\u2019 book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u00a0 Crawford, you are a part of that video event and that video series.\u00a0 This is all designed to help men understand what God\u2019s Word has to say about being men and, then, help them connect with other guys to walk the journey with.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to our website at FamilyLifeToday.com if you\u2019d like more information about Dennis\u2019 book, about some of the video resources that we are developing now that are going to be out later this fall, or about this Saturday\u2019s event\u2014the National Men\u2019s Simulcast, with Crawford Loritts, Dennis Rainey, James MacDonald, and Robert Lewis.\u00a0 <br><br>If you\u2019d like to attend the event, there may be a church in your area that is hosting, where you could get a group of guys and go together and be a part of this National Men\u2019s Simulcast.\u00a0\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s this Saturday morning 9 to 1 Eastern time, 8 to noon Central time.\u00a0 Again, more information about all the time zones and how all that\u2019s working can be found online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or if you have any questions, give us a call at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention\u2014this week, we\u2019re making available to the folks who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, with a donation, a copy of a CD message from Dennis about stepping up to manhood and a message from your wife Barbara about what a wife can do to help her husband step up and be the man that God has called him to be.\u00a0 Those CDs are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you, who not only listen to <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> but who make this program possible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make an occasional donation or those of you who are Legacy Partners\u2014make a monthly donation to help support us\u2014you help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program on this station and around the world, on the internet.\u00a0 We appreciate that partnership.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019d love to send you this thank-you gift when you make a donation this week to support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the orange button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d.\u00a0 Make your online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 If you make your donation over the phone, be sure to ask for the CDs from Dennis and Barbara.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be happy to get those out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue our conversation with Crawford Loritts about the power of a dad\u2014the power of a man in the life of his son.\u00a0 Hope you can join us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302568","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302568"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302568"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302568"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302568"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302568"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302568"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302568"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}