{"id":302565,"date":"2012-07-27T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-07-27T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/how-to-devastate-your-family\/"},"modified":"2012-07-27T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-07-27T15:00:00","slug":"how-to-devastate-your-family","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-devastate-your-family\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Devastate Your Family"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>No one intentionally sets out to destroy their family. But neglect and carelessness can devastate sons and daughters.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-07-27.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.58M","filesize_raw":"24725337","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837,2833,2806],"tags":[4759,4278,4698,4096],"podcast_series":[7312],"cwp_profile":[3176],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302565","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","category-godly-legacy","category-spiritual-development","tag-discipline","tag-integrity","tag-manhood","tag-mentoring","podcast_series-anchoring-your-family-in-christ","cwp_profile-steve-farrar","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302565\/how-to-devastate-your-family","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302565\/how-to-devastate-your-family","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"kVIstGXe0i\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-devastate-your-family\/\">How to Devastate Your Family<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/how-to-devastate-your-family\/embed\/#?secret=kVIstGXe0i\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;How to Devastate Your Family&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"kVIstGXe0i\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"No one intentionally sets out to destroy their family. But neglect and carelessness can devastate sons and daughters.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-07-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The choices you are making today as a husband and as a father affect more than just your family.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Steve Farrar.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just as a father can have an impact, a positive impact, for a hundred years on his children and grandchildren by following Christ today, we can have, also, devastating impacts by making foolish decisions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, July 27<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 There is reason to think twice and even pray twice about the decisions you make, as a dad, today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been talking this week about\u2014actually, I thought, when we started, that we were going to be talking about how you can be a TV anchor man.\u00a0 You know, anchor man?\u00a0 That\u2019s not really the theme of this book; is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It\u2019s not relay men\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014running the anchor leg of a relay race\u2014although, that would fit for the theme we are talking about here.\u00a0 We are talking about a book that is challenging men to be the anchors; that is, the anchor to the bottom of the ocean in the middle of the storm of life\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to keep the family from drifting and crashing against the shoreline.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I tell you there is a lot of current today, tugging against families.\u00a0 We are here, every day, on <em>FamilyLife <\/em>Today, trying to help our listeners live the Christian life\u2014hammer out biblical values in their marriages and families.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a great resource here on the broadcast today, Steve Farrar.\u00a0 Steve, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Dennis, Bob.\u00a0 Good to be with you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Steve is married to Mary, lives near Denton, Texas, up in North Texas\u2014undoubtedly, is a Cowboy fan\u2014has two sons\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, a 49er fan.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 You know, Dennis, I\u2019m from California.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s not start this rivalry on the air.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s not.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, my goodness!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 But I do some studies with the Cowboys; so, I\u2019ve got to keep that under wraps.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s out now.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s out now.\u00a0 Some of the Cowboys listen to our broadcast, I\u2019ll bet you.\u00a0 You may be out in your Bible study here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 My ministry may be over there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you have authored a book called <em>Anchor Man<\/em>, which is subtitled <em>How a Father Can Anchor His Family in Christ for the Next 100 Years<\/em>.\u00a0 You say it takes more than sperm for a man to be a father.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 I said that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you did.\u00a0 That\u2019s the title of Chapter Two, Steve.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s amazing my wife would let me do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve always been kind of gutsy, but you\u2019re right!\u00a0 You are talking about how a father is more than a label; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it really is.\u00a0 You know, with the technology we have today, that\u2019s all some guys contribute to the fathering-process, unfortunately; but it\u2019s much more than that.\u00a0 There\u2019s the involvement, and we\u2019ve been talking the last couple days about coaching and how dads disciple their kids by coaching them and giving all these tips; but just as a father can have an impact, a positive impact, for a hundred years on his children and grandchildren by following Christ today, we can have, also, devastating impacts by making foolish decisions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This chapter is really, at the core, about commitment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If a man doesn\u2019t fulfill that commitment at home with his wife and with his family, the results of that, as you\u2019ve just said, can impact, not just one generation, but up to four generations.\u00a0 In your book, you share a letter from a very articulate 16-year-old young lady that was written to her father.\u00a0 I want you to set up the letter, if you would, for our listeners\u2014giving them a little background here about why she wrote that letter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 This letter is written from a 16-year-old daughter to a dad.\u00a0 She\u2019s trying to reason with him because he has gotten involved with another woman\u2014believes he\u2019s in love with her, wants to divorce his wife, leave his kids, get a new life, and get a new start.\u00a0 She is grieving.\u00a0 She\u2019s doing all that she can do to get into the heart of her dad and to convince him of the damage that he\u2019s doing.\u00a0 It\u2019s one of the most gripping things I\u2019ve ever come across in my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You say, here, in your book that this father went to church, was a solid citizen, been married for 19 years.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t a bum, wasn\u2019t a decadent street person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the thing\u2014we know guys like this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We live\u2014they\u2019re in our churches.\u00a0 They\u2019re in our neighborhoods; and I\u2019ve got to tell you, gentleman, these guys make me angry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I get so angry when I hear of the latest dad who\u2019s defaulting on his vows, who\u2019s bailing out, and who\u2019s leaving his family, left trying to pull their life together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me say this\u2014the guy that\u2019s listening to this right now.\u00a0 Let me just talk straight.\u00a0 If you\u2019re horsing around, if there\u2019s some gal, if there\u2019s something that\u2019s happening in your life that nobody knows about\u2014it hasn\u2019t gotten sexual yet; but it\u2019s emotional, and you\u2019re fooling around\u2014I want you to hear this letter because the thing I would say to you is that God is trying to speak to you.\u00a0 He\u2019s trying to get your attention because He doesn\u2019t want you to do to your life and to your family what this guy has done to his family. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This letter is pretty lengthy.\u00a0 Bob, as you read it, I\u2019m going to ask Steve to make some comments along the way because there are several points in here where\u2014well, you\u2019re just feeling so many things.\u00a0 I know we\u2019re going to want to comment as you read this letter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me read it.\u00a0 She begins by writing, \u201cDaddy, I know that you were a really good football player.\u00a0 I can just picture the fans cheering for you.\u00a0 I would\u2019ve been cheering, too, if I were there; but what our family is going through now is kind of like a ball game.\u00a0 This is the most important game.\u00a0 It\u2019s the championship game, and everything rests on its outcome.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re the Captain of our team, and Tommy\u201d\u2014and that\u2019s her 14-year-old brother\u2014\u201cTommy is on the team.\u00a0 I\u2019m cheering for you on the sidelines, and Mom and Ashley are the other cheerleaders.\u00a0 We\u2019re cheering for you, believing, and trusting that you\u2019ll do your best to not let us down.\u00a0 You\u2019ve already done so much for us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s interesting as you read that, Bob, you can picture, in this young lady\u2019s heart\u2014she\u2019s got a special spot for this team that\u2019s been formed around her father.\u00a0 She\u2019s recognizing it and its importance in her life, her brother\u2019s life, her mother\u2019s life.\u00a0 This is a treasure.\u00a0 This is the ultimate trophy we are talking about here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She goes on to write, \u201cWe have such a great team.\u00a0 We have tons of fans that love our team. They respect us and look up to us.\u00a0 They\u2019re always there for us, cheering us on.\u00a0 Daddy, then, something terrible happens in this game.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, let me stop you right there.\u00a0 When she said, \u201cWe have such a great team.\u00a0 We have tons of fans that love our team.\u00a0 They respect us and look up to us\u201d\u2014here\u2019s a little, 16-year-old gal; and she knows\u2014what she\u2019s saying is, \u201cDad, our family has had a positive impact on other kids, on other families, up until now; but we are in deep danger of losing that, Dad.\u00a0 We\u2019re in deep danger\u2014all you\u2019ve worked to do\u2014you\u2019re in danger of losing.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She goes on to write, \u201cDaddy, then, something terrible happens in the game.\u00a0 When the play is run, there\u2019s a terrible collision of both teams on the sideline.\u00a0 We all got knocked down.\u00a0 It surprised us so badly.\u00a0 Many people were hurt.\u00a0 The players were slow getting up.\u00a0 The crowd was yelling.\u00a0 All of the cheerleaders were still down.\u00a0 Ashley, my sister, has a broken leg.\u00a0 She\u2019s just lying there, still in shock.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t understand how this could happen to her wonderful team.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe\u2019ve just been playing such a wonderful game.\u00a0 I was hit in the stomach.\u00a0 I can\u2019t catch my breath to call for help.\u00a0 I want to so badly, though\u2014not being able to catch my breath makes my heart hurt.\u00a0 Pain is piercing all over my body.\u00a0 Mom is hurt really bad.\u00a0 She was crushed by one of the players.\u00a0 Several ribs were broken.\u00a0 One of them punctured her lungs and almost pierced her heart.\u00a0 I can barely tell if she\u2019s alive.\u00a0 She\u2019s taken the worst hit of us all.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting to listen to the words of this teenager express the anguish of the soul around the watching of the break-up of her home, of her family.\u00a0 Although she is not an adult and doesn\u2019t have the ability to articulate adult emotions, she\u2019s expressing here, as best she can, what\u2019s taking place in her little heart and what\u2019s taking place in her mom and in her sister.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 It\u2019s not pretty.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, we\u2019re all just kind of sitting here in the studio.\u00a0 We\u2019re grimacing as we listen to this letter being read.\u00a0 If we could look at what\u2019s happening through the eyes of the father, he would be writing a letter about freedom, and pleasure, and happiness; but you know what?\u00a0 What\u2019s left on the sidelines is what she\u2019s describing.\u00a0 It\u2019s anguish, it is grief, it\u2019s hurt, and it\u2019s anger.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s doing his own thing.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s finding himself,\u201d \u2014that\u2019s what our culture would say.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, listen to what she writes about him.\u00a0 She says, \u201cWhen the teams went back into the huddle, something very strange happened to you, Dad.\u00a0 It seems like you\u2019ve hit your head really badly.\u00a0 I think you have a concussion.\u00a0 You\u2019re confused.\u00a0 You can\u2019t see very well.\u00a0 You\u2019re walking around dazed.\u00a0 We\u2019re all watching you walk back to the huddle; but Daddy, you\u2019re going to the wrong huddle.\u00a0 You\u2019re walking to the wrong team!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cTommy\u2019s yelling for you.\u00a0 He says, \u2018Daddy, here we are, over here!\u2019\u00a0 All your fans are screaming at you.\u00a0 They are saying, \u2018Erik, come back to your team!\u00a0 You have to come back, or we\u2019ll lose the game.\u2019\u00a0 Ashley cries, \u2018Daddy, can\u2019t you hear us?\u2019\u00a0 We need you on our team so badly.\u00a0 You must not hear us because you went to the other team.\u00a0 You start to do better for awhile.\u00a0 Our team doesn\u2019t know what to do without you.\u00a0 Tommy\u2019s trying so hard, but he still needs you to coach him on the plays.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSomeone from our team says, \u2018Where\u2019s your dad?\u00a0 Doesn\u2019t he know he\u2019s on the wrong team?\u2019\u00a0 We don\u2019t know what to do without him.\u00a0 I\u2019m looking for help everywhere.\u00a0 I can\u2019t help Mom or Ashley on my own because I\u2019m hurt so badly myself.\u00a0 I see an ambulance, but I don\u2019t know who has the keys.\u00a0 We\u2019re still on the field.\u00a0 We\u2019re cold and lonely.\u00a0 Momma\u2019s hurt so bad.\u00a0 Why doesn\u2019t help come?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDaddy, we need help for you because we\u2019re confused; and you\u2019ve gone to the wrong team.\u00a0 We need help for Tommy, who is lost without you there\u2014to know what calls he should make.\u00a0 We need help for Ashley, who can\u2019t understand what happened to her wonderful team.\u00a0 We need help for me.\u00a0 I\u2019m so sad.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have a reason to cheer, without you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWe need help for Mom who may die because all she has ever worked for in her life is this team.\u00a0 She has put everything into it; and now, all of a sudden, she\u2019s robbed of it.\u00a0 She has no reason to go on living.\u00a0 That\u2019s why I pray for help.\u00a0 Where could the help be?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDaddy, you\u2019re the only one who can help.\u00a0 You have the keys to the ambulance.\u00a0 You\u2019re the only one who can pick us up off the field and nurse us back to health.\u00a0 Can\u2019t you realize that?\u00a0 We need you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI know you\u2019re hurt, Daddy.\u00a0 We want to help you because we love you so much.\u00a0 We want you back on our team.\u00a0 Please, Daddy, I\u2019m begging you.\u00a0 We can all help each other.\u00a0 That\u2019s what a family is for.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cIt\u2019s halftime.\u00a0 You have to make your decision soon.\u00a0 You have to know that you can\u2019t play for both teams.\u00a0 It won\u2019t work.\u00a0 Which team are you going to be the Captain of\u2014the team you created that loves you more than anything or the team that confused you and made you think you were on the right team?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI wish I could do something to help you make the right decision.\u00a0 I would even die to save my daddy.\u00a0 I\u2019m praying for you because I love you.\u00a0 Please, do what it takes to come home and stay with us.\u00a0 Your daughter, Me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, as I was listening to this, the thing that was in my mind is someone\u2019s heart has just been touched\u2014someone the enemy is trying to con.\u00a0 There\u2019s a guy\u2014there\u2019s, perhaps, a woman\u2014that\u2019s on the verge of going into an affair, that\u2019s on the verge of making a huge mistake.\u00a0 Yet, it\u2019s on this day that the Holy Spirit has chosen that this be aired and that this letter be read. My friend, He is trying to get through to you.\u00a0 He is trying to get your attention to save your life and to save the life of your family so that this doesn\u2019t happen to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The Apostle James said, \u201cTo him, who knows what to do and does not do it, to him, it is sin.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve read a lot a letters.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I\u2019ve ever read a letter that articulated how a child feels in the middle of a family break-up like this one.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re that man right now, or that woman, that Steve was speaking to, just a few moments ago\u2014before you run on to your appointment, to work, to that next duty that you have at home\u2014the best thing you could do is to pull off the side of the road and to repent\u2014flat out turn from sin, change your attitude toward that circumstance, that person, that choice you\u2019re about to make\u2014turn to Jesus Christ and say to Him, \u201cForgive me.\u00a0 I repent.\u00a0 I turn from that.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe next thing you need to do is you need to get a cell phone.\u00a0 You need to get a regular phone and whoever that other person is\u2014if they are aware of this relationship and they are a party to it, you need to call them and say to them, \u201cThis is over.\u00a0 It\u2019s done, and\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cand I won\u2019t meet with you to discuss it.\u00a0 It\u2019s over now; period.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cFinished.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cFinished.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, find a pastor.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 There you go.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Go to church, or someone you are accountable to\u2014a godly Christian.\u00a0 Confess it to them and talk about your game plan of how you\u2019re going to go about telling your spouse.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t suggest just rolling into home at the end of the day and dropping a bombshell on your spouse, without having clearly talked about it and discussed it with a wise, godly counselor, who could be there to help you put the pieces back together, as they must be put back together after you burn the bridge to this other person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 The thing that strikes me about this letter is that this 16-year-old daughter is basically saying to her dad\u2014she\u2019s saying, \u201cDad, you\u2019re killing us.\u00a0 You\u2019re killing us.\u00a0 You\u2019re, literally, ending life as we know it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, this is where a dad is making the hundred-year choice,\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014Steve.\u00a0 He\u2019s deciding whether he\u2019s going to mark his family for Christ for the next 100 years, by repenting and by turning back to Christ himself and leading his family in that direction, or whether he is going to follow sin and mark his family in that direction.\u00a0 You\u2019ve seen\u2014close to home, you\u2019ve seen dads who have made the wrong decision.\u00a0 You\u2019ve seen it long enough that you\u2019ve seen the impact on the children; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think of a little girl that was friends with my daughter\u2014and I\u2014several years ago, her dad, who by the way was a pastor, got involved with some gal in the church, leaves his wife, leaves the four kids. I watched this little girl.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t articulate it as this other girl has articulated it, but I watched her life.\u00a0 I watched her go through that phase where she would only dress in black.\u00a0 I watched her where she would only wear black nail polish and black lipstick.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat little girl, now, is in an Ivy League school.\u00a0 She\u2019s very brilliant.\u00a0 She\u2019s very smart.\u00a0 Why is she in that school?\u00a0 Academics has become her life.\u00a0 Career has been in her life because, as she told my daughter, \u201cI will never be in a position again where I am dependent on a man, ever!\u201d\u2014because the most important guy in her life let her down.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, to the guy that\u2019s driving down the road, and listening to this, and playing with sin, and pondering this\u2014Dennis alluded to this earlier\u2014the enemy is a liar.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhatever you think you\u2019re going to get out of this, whatever benefit you think, whatever positives you think will accrue into your life, I want to tell you something.\u00a0 The best the enemy can offer you is dog food.\u00a0 The best he can offer you is Alpo<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>; and he\u2019s telling you, \u201cIt is prime rib.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you, it\u2019s Purina<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> Dog Chow.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to vomit it up, and you\u2019re going to live to regret it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Holy Spirit, Dennis, Bob\u2014I\u2019m telling you, I can sense it in this room\u2014the Holy Spirit is trying to get through to somebody here through this broadcast today.\u00a0 My friend, this is no time to play games.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Muted Music:\u00a0 <em>Generations<\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I can taste the fruit of Eve. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I'm aware of sickness death and disease. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>The results of her choices were vast. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Eve was the first but she wasn't the last. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>If I were honest with myself, <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Had I been standing at that tree, <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>My mouth and my hands would be covered with fruit. <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Things I shouldn't know and things I shouldn't see.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It isn\u2019t, and you need to make the right choice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right now.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right now.\u00a0 Don\u2019t wait until tonight because you\u2019ll chicken out.\u00a0 I\u2019ve watched guys do this, and they\u2019re playing Tiddlywinks with the enemy of your soul.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is a lot at stake in your choice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Generations to come are going to know the reality of your choice for good or the reality of your choice for evil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Full-Volume Music:\u00a0 <em>Generations<\/em>] \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Remind me of this with every decision.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Generations will reap what I sow.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I can pass on a curse or a blessing to <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Those I will never know\u2014oh, I may never know.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is Sara Groves, reminding us of the importance of what we\u2019ve been talking about all this week, being anchored in Christ and anchoring our family in Christ, as dads, and passing on a blessing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think of what we heard Al Mohler say in <em>The<\/em> <em>Art of Marriage<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> video series, when he said, \u201cWe are ancestors to generations we will never meet.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019ll look back and refer to us as their ancestors.\u00a0 The question is, \u201cWhat will they know about us?\u201d\u00a0 What will we be to them?\u00a0 You start thinking long-term like that\u2014you start thinking generationally\u2014and it makes a huge difference.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the reasons I appreciate, not only the conversation we\u2019ve had this week, but Steve Farrar\u2019s book, <em>Anchor Man<\/em>, which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com to find out how you can get a copy of the book.\u00a0 Again, that title is <em>Anchor Man<\/em>.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com to order; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd don\u2019t forget\u2014a week from tomorrow, we\u2019ll be hosting the Stepping Up<sup>\u2122<\/sup> National Men\u2019s Simulcast, where James MacDonald, Crawford Loritts, Robert Lewis, and Dennis Rainey are going to be challenging all of us, as men, to step up and be the men that God is calling us to be.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to find out where a church in your area is hosting this event, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 Again, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to say a word of thanks to many of our listeners, who by helping to support this radio program, are helping to support all that we are trying to do, here at FamilyLife, to challenge men to step up and to embrace our assignments as husbands and as dads.\u00a0 When you support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and help defray the costs for this daily radio program\u2014the production and syndication of what we do here\u2014you\u2019re helping with all that we do here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate you so much.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, this month, we\u2019d like to send you a thank-you gift if you can help with a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you a CD of a message from Dennis on men stepping up to be godly men and a message from Dennis\u2019s wife Barbara Rainey on how a wife can help her husband step up and be God\u2019s man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAsk for those CD\u2019s when you make a donation by calling 1-800-FL-TODAY; or simply go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and fill out the online donation form.\u00a0 We\u2019ll automatically send you the CD\u2019s from Dennis and Barbara.\u00a0 They come with our gratitude for your support of this ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate so much your partnership with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s been a challenging time, here today, talking about the need for men to make a commitment.\u00a0 Steve Farrar, I want to thank you for being on the broadcast.\u00a0 You\u2019ve made a great impact on men this week.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, thanks, Dennis.\u00a0 Thanks for having me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Today, we\u2019ve talked about the need for men to fulfill their commitment\u2014a commitment for good or a commitment to choose evil.\u00a0 Sin will destroy your life, your soul, your legacy.\u00a0 If you\u2019re going to be an anchor man, you\u2019ve got to be an anchor for what is good. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve got to believe right now, Steve, there are men who need you to pray for them because they have already decided.\u00a0 They\u2019ve pulled over to the side of the road.\u00a0 They may be weeping about what they\u2019ve already chosen, but they need your prayer today to choose good instead of evil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Steve:<\/strong>\u00a0 Father, we pray for all of us, that You might give us eyes to see what we normally wouldn\u2019t see.\u00a0 Give us the wisdom to see that what it looks like from afar is not that at all, when we get up close.\u00a0 The problem with leaving a relationship, thinking it will make us happy, is that we have to take our self into that new relationship.\u00a0 Our biggest problem is not our spouse.\u00a0 Our biggest problem is not somebody else.\u00a0 Our biggest problem is us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI pray for every guy.\u00a0 I pray for every woman.\u00a0 I pray for the guy that, right now, is overwhelmed by a sense of conviction that comes from Your Holy Spirit.\u00a0 Give him the courage to stop right now.\u00a0 Give him the courage to look down the road six months, a year, ten years, a hundred years, and see what the consequences of this act will bring into his life and the life of his family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI pray that You will save him.\u00a0 I pray that You won\u2019t let him get distracted.\u00a0 I pray that You will help him to make the right choice\u2014and years down the line, and for all of eternity, he will be forever thankful to You for intervening in his life.\u00a0 Do the work, Lord Jesus, right now, that none of us can do.\u00a0 Do the work that only You can do and save his family from destruction.\u00a0 We ask in Your name.\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong><em>\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<sup>\u00a9<\/sup> Song:\u00a0<em>Generations<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Sara Groves\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0<em>Conversations<\/em>, (p) 2000 Sponge Records\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302565","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302565"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302565"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302565"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302565"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302565"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302565"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302565"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}