{"id":302559,"date":"2012-07-19T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-07-19T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/honoring-your-husband-through-submission\/"},"modified":"2012-07-19T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-07-19T15:00:00","slug":"honoring-your-husband-through-submission","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/honoring-your-husband-through-submission\/","title":{"rendered":"Honoring Your Husband Through Submission"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Marriage is a process of understanding and honoring the differences between a man and a woman.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-07-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.69M","filesize_raw":"23794992","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2862,2831],"tags":[4403,4819,4730,4920],"podcast_series":[7888],"cwp_profile":[],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302559","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-understanding-differences","category-wives","tag-bible-study","tag-roles","tag-submission","tag-womanhood","podcast_series-enhancing-your-marriage","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302559\/honoring-your-husband-through-submission","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302559\/honoring-your-husband-through-submission","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ScK8Hs93QF\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/honoring-your-husband-through-submission\/\">Honoring Your Husband Through Submission<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/honoring-your-husband-through-submission\/embed\/#?secret=ScK8Hs93QF\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Honoring Your Husband Through Submission&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ScK8Hs93QF\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-07-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-07-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you\u2019re married, then, your job is to be a Christian husband or a Christian wife.\u00a0 Did you ever stop to ask the question, \u201cWho\u2019s my employer?\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s Judy Rossi.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 My job, as a Christian wife, is to get my role right, before the Lord.\u00a0 I believe that if I am living out my role as God calls me to live out my role, and I release my husband to the Lord, and let him be God\u2019s project\u2014just like I\u2019m God\u2019s project\u2014then, God\u2019s going to do something with that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, July 19<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about how your relationship with your spouse and your relationship with God are all mixed up together.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking, this week, about marriage\u2014particularly, looking at the challenges a lot of wives face in a marriage relationship and trying to form that bond.\u00a0 We should say, here at the outset, that we have days where we talk about it from the guy\u2019s side because whenever we do this, we\u2019ll get letters from women saying, \u201cWhen are you going to talk to the men about their issues?\u201d\u00a0 Well, we try to do that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014from time to time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 On an earlier broadcast, you asked me to kind of rate our marriage\u2014how much I really thought how we were doing at the beginning.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Degree of difficulty.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How hard did you think it was, at the beginning?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I said about a two.\u00a0 It went to about a six, after two years; and then, to ten plus, after six kids.\u00a0 So, I want to ask you a question, here, at the start.\u00a0 In terms of your marriage, when you married Mary Ann\u2014how many years ago now?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was 32, coming up on 33 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, how well did you understand the differences between a man and a woman\u2014a wife and a husband?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There were parts of those differences that I understood and liked a lot, personally; [Laughter] but there were a lot of those differences\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, that\u2019s about 1percent.\u00a0\u00a0 Where are we going from here?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There were a lot of those differences that didn\u2019t really dawn on me\u2014temperament, personality.\u00a0 You just kind of assume that everybody thinks the way you think and responds to data the way you respond to it.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s kind of what I thought until I learned that, \u201cOh, you were thinking differently about those things;\u201d and it made the degree of difficulty a little harder, in the marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Really, marriage is one long process of beginning to, not only understand the differences, but <em>honor<\/em> the differences.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest with us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Judy Rossi, who joins us again, who learned that in her own marriage and who\u2019s been teaching it to literally thousands of women through Bible studies all over the east coast\u2014but now, around the world, through a new Bible study she\u2019s just released.\u00a0 Anyway, welcome back to the broadcast, Judy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 Good to be here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She and her husband John have been married for 37 years.\u00a0 She has been a Bible teacher and still is to, not only military women, but also civilians, as well\u2014has two married daughters and four grandchildren.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve been teaching this Bible study, <em>Enhancing Your Marriage<\/em>, literally to thousands of women.\u00a0 You said one of the big \u201cAhh-ha\u2019s\u201d, as you\u2019ve taught these women, is teaching them to appreciate and understand the differences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That took Bob and me so many years to learn in our marriages.\u00a0 So, talk to us about this--about your own marriage--about you and John.\u00a0 How well did you understand this when you first got married?\u00a0 Then, what were the lessons you\u2019ve learned there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t understand the differences at all, really, because I thought once John and I got married, he\u2019d be sort of coming over to my side--think like I thought, do things the way that I did.\u00a0 Everything would be hunky dory, but things could not have been further from the truth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did not get that we were different.\u00a0 The physical differences, obvious; but the emotional differences, the psychological differences, how we process things, how we would arrive at certain conclusions, how we would express ourselves\u2014you know, I\u2019m all over the map.\u00a0 He talks in bullets.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t get that.\u00a0 He\u2019s more precise about the things that he says.\u00a0 Says what he means\u2014 means what he says.\u00a0 I have a tendency to\u2014<em>had<\/em> the tendency to\u2014sort of mean what I\u2019d say, just in case I stepped on toes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Soften things a little bit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I might give it 90 seconds to an hour and a half of preface before I would get down to the bottom line; and John was a bottom-line kind of guy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you weren\u2019t being as real as he was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in your marriage relationship.\u00a0 That had to cost you, in your relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, definitely, I agree with that.\u00a0 I was of the impression that becoming one meant that he was going to become more like me, and it wasn\u2019t like that.\u00a0 I had to learn that this gift that God gave me was also created in God\u2019s image.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI began to really look at this male--masculine husband--and myself, as this female\u2014feminine wife--and all of those great traits that God created to bring together as a dovetail drawer, just about.\u00a0 You get all that good stuff coming together as a dovetail drawer, and that\u2019s what makes all the strengths and weaknesses work together for the good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, one of the things that I didn\u2019t appreciate about John was that before marriage, I really loved that he was a strong man.\u00a0 He was strong in his convictions, a man of integrity.\u00a0 He was a very focused, determined\u2014which after marriage, began to push back at my strengths.\u00a0 Being the independent, I wanted to loose myself of that.\u00a0 So, the idea of following him\u2014after I became a Christian, I even had to wrap my mind around what it meant to follow him as the leader in our home.\u00a0 That was difficult for me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Just based upon what you are saying here, submission was just real easy for you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That \u201cS\u201d word\u2014the other \u201cS\u201d word, definitely, was very difficult for me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Kind of hard to do; huh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would have to annihilate my pride first before I could submit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was no fun.\u00a0 I wanted my way.\u00a0 Think about that.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 We like to have our way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 I really appreciate your honesty.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Submission is still no fun; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Yes, it is more fun now.\u00a0 Let\u2019s say I appreciate it greatly because I appreciate how God blesses it.\u00a0 I believe that submission has got to be the most powerful principle in Scripture.\u00a0 We would not be having this session today if Jesus Christ hadn\u2019t submitted to the Father\u2014must be something really powerful about submission when God ordains it\u2014when God calls someone to it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what is it about a woman, who has been ordained to be in this marital relationship\u2014a very powerful, positive influence\u2014I believe that.\u00a0 I know that to be true, based on Scripture.\u00a0 What is it about submission that contributes to that powerful, positive influence?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When I began to really understand that submission was voluntary and that it was an act of trust and faith in God\u2014so, I would have to\u2014on some issues\u2014I had to trust God with my husband in order to submit.\u00a0 Then, I could submit with the right heart; but submitting, for me\u2014if I were to put it in another context, literally, means to me adapting to my husband\u2019s leadership in our home.\u00a0 Adapting took me some time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>When you say, \u201cIt\u2019s voluntary,\u201d you don\u2019t mean it\u2019s optional.\u00a0 You mean you have to decide if you\u2019re going to submit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Submission involves dying to self.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Truly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s why nobody wants to do it; but I can think there\u2019d be a lot of women who would say, \u201cWell, why is it the woman is the one who has to die to self and the man gets to decide how things are going to be, and he doesn\u2019t have to die to self?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes, he does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, but it doesn\u2019t feel like that if you\u2019re the woman, who is always submitting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It might not feel like that; but I didn\u2019t understand that, when I deferred to my husband, I was strengthening \u201cus\u201d\u2014that \u201cus\u201d of John and Judy.\u00a0 It also made him more responsive to me.\u00a0 As I began to respect him\u2014and you cannot separate submission and respect\u2014to me, the most ultimate act of respect is submitting to his leadership in the home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo matter what it was, I stopped correcting him in front of the girls.\u00a0 It began to build <em>our <\/em>relationship.\u00a0 He began to trust <em>me<\/em> more.\u00a0 He began to see me more\u2014in, I think, the light that God wanted him to see me\u2014inthat as a woman who loved the Lord and loved her husband.\u00a0 Then, he began to trust me when he wanted counsel about certain things.\u00a0 It\u2019s just amazing the doors that it opened in our relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What you\u2019re saying is submission is life-giving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is absolutely life-giving!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>First Peter, Chapter 2\u2014the end of the whole chapter\u2014it talks about how Christ suffered on our behalf and left for us an example to follow.\u00a0 It says, \u201cHe entrusted Himself to His Father.\u201d\u00a0 Then, in Chapter 3, verse 1, it says, \u201cLikewise, wives be submissive to your own husbands.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jesus Christ brought life to us, as you said, through submission.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that a woman who submits to her husband brings enormous life to him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know we can say, \u201cSo, a wife should submit because the Bible says she should;\u201d but I\u2019m still thinking of a wife who is saying, \u201cI don\u2019t understand why he doesn\u2019t have to die to self.\u201d\u00a0 You said, \u201cYes, he does;\u201d but she\u2019s thinking, \u201cI\u2019m the one who has to let him have his way all the time.\u00a0 Why shouldn\u2019t he be the one to have to let me have my way some of the times?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that\u2019s more of a communication issue rather than a submission issue.\u00a0 I guess it might also depend, too, on her husband\u2019s spots.\u00a0 Some women are dealing with some pretty difficult men, where submission is lording authority over their wives.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the loving servant-leader that is supposed to take on this role of headship in the home.\u00a0 So, I think it depends.\u00a0 If her husband is a Christian, that\u2019s not even a guarantee that he\u2019s going to walk out servant-leadership the right way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I look at all of the many women, myself included, at one time, who wasn\u2019t walking out her role as a respectful wife.\u00a0 We can\u2019t say, \u201cWell, just because you\u2019ve got a big \u201cC\u201d on your chest as a Christian, doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re going to do this stuff right;\u201d but I am a believer that\u2014my job, as a Christian wife, is to get my role right, before the Lord.\u00a0 I believe that if I am living out my role, as God calls me to live out my role, and I release my husband to the Lord, and let him be God\u2019s project\u2014just like I\u2019m God\u2019s project\u2014then, God\u2019s going to do something with that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, even if he\u2019s not living out his role the way he\u2019s supposed to, that doesn\u2019t mean, then, you don\u2019t have to live out your role.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am not absolved of following God\u2019s will in my life as my husband\u2019s wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re saying if you\u2019ll do what God calls you to do\u2014you believe that God will use that to have an impact on your husband.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, absolutely.\u00a0 One thing I did learn, as I was studying about submission, is we\u2019re not talking about doormat stuff.\u00a0 Submission takes a lot of strength, and it takes a lot of dignity.\u00a0 For me to submit to my husband in an area that might be difficult for me\u2014because what if I really am right?\u00a0 Do you know how much courage it takes to say, \u201cOkay, Lord, you must have a lesson in this\u2014somewhere.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to submit to You first so that I can submit to my husband in this issue\u2014that we don\u2019t agree on right now\u2014and just let you be God.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt a time when something happens where it does turn out that, by golly, you were right, you don\u2019t push the I-told-you-so button.\u00a0 You come alongside him and you say, \u201cYou know, we\u2019re going to get through this together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Judy, you\u2019ve taught thousands of women this principle.\u00a0 Share a situation that, perhaps, another woman has shared back with you as to how she\u2019s applied what you\u2019re talking about here\u2014and not, necessarily, that it just all came out perfectly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but how did it work?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have a gal, who I would mentor her in her marriage.\u00a0 We would be walking through the Bible, and we\u2019d walk through the study together.\u00a0 She\u2019d learn the principles of submission because she was one of the ones, I said, \u201cWould you say you\u2019ve been following God in your marriage?\u201d She\u2019d say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what that looks like.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe wasn\u2019t sure what was going on with her husband.\u00a0 We walked through what the Lord would call her to be for him, and he was very responsive to it.\u00a0 Then, things looked like they were turning around.\u00a0 Then, it was discovered that he was in the throes of an affair, and he just took advantage of her; but in the two years that she had grown closer to God through her seeking Him in her marriage, she had the courage to move on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She would\u2014she might look in that situation and say, \u201cOkay, I tried the submission thing and, obviously, that didn\u2019t work.\u201d\u00a0 What\u2019s your response to that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cYou followed God in this time of your marriage when you didn\u2019t know what else to do, and you did the right thing.\u00a0 He will honor that.\u00a0 He really will.\u201d\u00a0 She has no regrets, and that\u2019s the beauty of following God in your marriage.\u00a0 When you do, by the Book, what God calls you to do in your marriages\u2014no matter how difficult they are\u2014and he turns around and walks away, you have no regrets.\u00a0 You really can look at yourself in the mirror.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are women, hearing us talk about this whole thing.\u00a0 They are really angry right now because they say, \u201cYou don\u2019t know my situation.\u00a0 You don\u2019t know my man\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cYou don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard this.\u00a0 It\u2019s been abused.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had submission rammed down my throat.\u00a0 I\u2019m not even sure why I\u2019m still listening\u2014why I haven\u2019t changed the channel.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Submission doesn\u2019t mean rolling over and playing dead.\u00a0 I believe submission means that we\u2019ve got to take a stand on what we believe--make sure that our husbands understand how we feel\u2014all of this is done respectfully.\u00a0 If we have a concern about a road he\u2019s going down, he needs to know.\u00a0 That\u2019s what a helpmate does.\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m supposed to be the person who comes alongside my husband\u2014a help in time of trouble, if need be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy job is to respectfully express my concerns and my thoughts\u2014my suggestions, if necessary.\u00a0 If he makes a decision that is counter to what I believe is the correct decision, I\u2019ve got to believe that God is going to work within that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I hear you saying, Judy, is\u2014submission isn\u2019t silent.\u00a0 I think, sometimes, we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, it isn\u2019t.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014make it silent.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara doesn\u2019t do that with me.\u00a0 I want to know her opinion; even though sometimes I don\u2019t necessarily appreciate her opinion.\u00a0 It may differ from mine, but I need to hear that.\u00a0 What I hear you saying is\u2014submission does speak up.\u00a0 Then, there is a time to trust God and to trust that your husband is God\u2019s project.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t express our concerns\u2014and this is not something that just leaves our mouths, without going to the Lord first.\u00a0 Prayer is key\u2014so, to go and pray about, first off\u2014if we should say it.\u00a0 Then, if that impression is there, \u201cLord, you map out the what, and the where, and the when.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s faithful to me.\u00a0 He really will answer that prayer.\u00a0 I will be able to speak.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t do that, then, there could be a condition in our marriage that we\u2019re enabling because we haven\u2019t had the courage to speak up.\u00a0 We think submission is just going along for the ride or going along with the flow, and that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> what submission is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe that submission is the gift we offer our husbands, respectfully, as the leader in our homes\u2014one that I am willing to follow\u2014and I follow respectfully.\u00a0 The return on a woman who begins to practice that kind of respect in her marriage\u2014I think she is going to see things change rather quickly.\u00a0 I know it did\u2014I know I watched John change in his response to me as I became more respectful of who he was and how he did things.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t the way I did things, but I learned to respect that.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, the wife who would say, \u201cWell, I read\u2014there\u2019s one verse that says you\u2019re to submit to one another.\u00a0 So, shouldn\u2019t there be times when he has to submit to me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think he does that in loving me as Christ loves the church.\u00a0 What greater act of submission than to give one\u2019s life up for someone?\u00a0 I believe that\u2019s what God\u2019s called husbands to do for their wives and families.\u00a0 I know my husband would do that in a nano.\u00a0 He\u2019s just taking it just one step further and was willing to give it up for his country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo me, the ultimate act of submission is giving up your life.\u00a0 That\u2019s what God calls him to do for us.\u00a0 It takes practice for them, just like respect doesn\u2019t come naturally to us.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think that kind of love comes naturally to a man.\u00a0 So, we have to begin to do that dance\u2014with the Holy Spirit as the leader for both of us\u2014to see what that looks like in our marriages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Earlier, we talked about how a woman has to die to self to be able to do this.\u00a0 Bob kidded and said that maybe a husband\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just\u2014yes, I just said, \u201cWhy doesn\u2019t he have to die to self?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the reality is\u2014what you\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 The kind of love a husband is called to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014love his wife does demand self-denial, self-sacrifice\u2014if he does it right; alright?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I will tell you, that over the years, I\u2019ve seen my husband do it more and more.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a real blessing for me because\u2014especially in these last few years\u2014as I\u2019d undergone a couple of surgeries that left me partially paralyzed in my left leg.\u00a0 I needed him everywhere I went, basically.\u00a0 He would go with me to my retreats and conferences and, literally, take such protective care of me that\u2014I know the witness that he was, among those women, was astounding.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that God has brought us from, I think, two pretty self-centered, young adults to two devoted people to each other, who hope to leave a legacy to our children and our children\u2019s children that, \u201cThis is what marriage is supposed to look like,\u201d because we\u2019re going to end up exactly the way we started\u2014two people, alone together.\u00a0 When you start, you are two people, alone together\u2014when the nest is empty\u2014hopefully, for years thereafter.\u00a0 So, we better be working toward what that\u2019s going to look like because that should be rich.\u00a0 It shouldn\u2019t be as empty as the nest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thing about that\u2014as we work toward those\u2014the depth of our relationship of getting beyond the ups and the downs and all of the things that are anywhere from disappointing to downright ugly\u2014as we let God get us on the other side of those, we\u2019ll have no regrets.\u00a0 One of us is going to bury the other someday.\u00a0 I\u2019m hoping it is years from now, but it should be with no regrets.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you do follow the Scripture, I think the thing I\u2019d want our listeners to know, \u201cThere is a payoff.\u201d\u00a0 There really is.\u00a0 Over time, that selfishness, that marked the marriage in the early years, is not quite as pronounced.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not at all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Notice, I said not quite as pronounced.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wish it went away, but we\u2019re still learning and growing; but as you yield to Jesus Christ, He does take two pretty selfish people and He does merge them together as one.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 He does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is not something that comes naturally to wives\u2014just as loving your wife as Christ loved the church doesn\u2019t come naturally to husbands.\u00a0 This is something that we have to be transformed into by the work of the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it\u2019s important, Bob, that women gather with other women and get in the Book\u2014get in the Bible.\u00a0 Certainly, Judy has come up with a great study here\u2014training women in how to think biblically and respond biblically to their husbands, in this area of the marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it would be really important for wives, who have never been in a small group Bible study like this, to get this workbook and begin to go through it with three or four other woman.\u00a0 Just get real and honest with one another.\u00a0 That was a real breakthrough in Judy\u2019s marriage when she finally decided, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I don\u2019t like the way it is.\u00a0 I want to change things.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, then, you\u2019re going to have to wrestle with some things when you do\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014but anyone can take the initiative to call a group of friends\u2014three or four other women\u2014and say, \u201cI would like to go through this study.\u00a0 I\u2019d like you\u2019d to go through it with me because I think it would be good for us to have some mutual accountability and some discussion on some of these issues.\u00a0 There are some things we can wrestle with together.\u201d\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to be something formal or a program that you\u2019re setting up.\u00a0 It can just be you, with a handful of other wives, deciding to do this in your own home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got information about Judy\u2019s study.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Enhancing Your Marriage<\/em>.\u00a0 You can find information about it, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 That\u2019s our website.\u00a0 Look for the Bible study by Judy Rossi called <em>Enhancing Your Marriage<\/em>; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, be sure to ask about the study called <em>Enhancing Your Marriage<\/em> by Judy Rossi.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, like most of the programs you hear on this station, is a listener-supported program.\u00a0 All of us work hard to produce the program that we make available each day.\u00a0 It\u2019s available, not only on this station; but it\u2019s available around the world via the internet.\u00a0 There are costs associated with all of the technology that\u2019s required to distribute the program and to produce the program.\u00a0 That\u2019s why we come to listeners and say, \u201cCan you help us?\u201d because we are listener-supported.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>It\u2019s your donations that make this program possible.\u00a0 Without your support, we could not continue the work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 So, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and consider making an online donation if you would; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for your support.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with this ministry and glad to have you listening.\u00a0 Thanks for whatever you are able to do in helping to defray the cost associated with this program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about romance, intimacy, passion.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about some of the challenges around that in a marriage relationship and hear Judy Rossi\u2019s thoughts about a wife\u2019s responsibility in that area.\u00a0 We may meet her husband tomorrow, as well.\u00a0 So, we hope you\u2019ll tune in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today\u2014his name is Keith Lynch\u2014and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.69M"],"filesize_raw":["23794992"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302559.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302559.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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is a process of understanding and honoring the differences between a man and a woman.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-07-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you\u2019re married, then, your job is to be a Christian husband or a Christian wife.\u00a0 Did you ever stop to ask the question, \u201cWho\u2019s my employer?\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s Judy Rossi.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 My job, as a Christian wife, is to get my role right, before the Lord.\u00a0 I believe that if I am living out my role as God calls me to live out my role, and I release my husband to the Lord, and let him be God\u2019s project\u2014just like I\u2019m God\u2019s project\u2014then, God\u2019s going to do something with that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, July 19<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about how your relationship with your spouse and your relationship with God are all mixed up together.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking, this week, about marriage\u2014particularly, looking at the challenges a lot of wives face in a marriage relationship and trying to form that bond.\u00a0 We should say, here at the outset, that we have days where we talk about it from the guy\u2019s side because whenever we do this, we\u2019ll get letters from women saying, \u201cWhen are you going to talk to the men about their issues?\u201d\u00a0 Well, we try to do that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014from time to time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 On an earlier broadcast, you asked me to kind of rate our marriage\u2014how much I really thought how we were doing at the beginning.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Degree of difficulty.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>How hard did you think it was, at the beginning?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I said about a two.\u00a0 It went to about a six, after two years; and then, to ten plus, after six kids.\u00a0 So, I want to ask you a question, here, at the start.\u00a0 In terms of your marriage, when you married Mary Ann\u2014how many years ago now?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was 32, coming up on 33 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, how well did you understand the differences between a man and a woman\u2014a wife and a husband?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There were parts of those differences that I understood and liked a lot, personally; [Laughter] but there were a lot of those differences\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, that\u2019s about 1percent.\u00a0\u00a0 Where are we going from here?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There were a lot of those differences that didn\u2019t really dawn on me\u2014temperament, personality.\u00a0 You just kind of assume that everybody thinks the way you think and responds to data the way you respond to it.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s kind of what I thought until I learned that, \u201cOh, you were thinking differently about those things;\u201d and it made the degree of difficulty a little harder, in the marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Really, marriage is one long process of beginning to, not only understand the differences, but <em>honor<\/em> the differences.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest with us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Judy Rossi, who joins us again, who learned that in her own marriage and who\u2019s been teaching it to literally thousands of women through Bible studies all over the east coast\u2014but now, around the world, through a new Bible study she\u2019s just released.\u00a0 Anyway, welcome back to the broadcast, Judy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy<\/strong>:\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 Good to be here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She and her husband John have been married for 37 years.\u00a0 She has been a Bible teacher and still is to, not only military women, but also civilians, as well\u2014has two married daughters and four grandchildren.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve been teaching this Bible study, <em>Enhancing Your Marriage<\/em>, literally to thousands of women.\u00a0 You said one of the big \u201cAhh-ha\u2019s\u201d, as you\u2019ve taught these women, is teaching them to appreciate and understand the differences.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That took Bob and me so many years to learn in our marriages.\u00a0 So, talk to us about this--about your own marriage--about you and John.\u00a0 How well did you understand this when you first got married?\u00a0 Then, what were the lessons you\u2019ve learned there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t understand the differences at all, really, because I thought once John and I got married, he\u2019d be sort of coming over to my side--think like I thought, do things the way that I did.\u00a0 Everything would be hunky dory, but things could not have been further from the truth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI did not get that we were different.\u00a0 The physical differences, obvious; but the emotional differences, the psychological differences, how we process things, how we would arrive at certain conclusions, how we would express ourselves\u2014you know, I\u2019m all over the map.\u00a0 He talks in bullets.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t get that.\u00a0 He\u2019s more precise about the things that he says.\u00a0 Says what he means\u2014 means what he says.\u00a0 I have a tendency to\u2014<em>had<\/em> the tendency to\u2014sort of mean what I\u2019d say, just in case I stepped on toes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Soften things a little bit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I might give it 90 seconds to an hour and a half of preface before I would get down to the bottom line; and John was a bottom-line kind of guy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you weren\u2019t being as real as he was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in your marriage relationship.\u00a0 That had to cost you, in your relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, definitely, I agree with that.\u00a0 I was of the impression that becoming one meant that he was going to become more like me, and it wasn\u2019t like that.\u00a0 I had to learn that this gift that God gave me was also created in God\u2019s image.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI began to really look at this male--masculine husband--and myself, as this female\u2014feminine wife--and all of those great traits that God created to bring together as a dovetail drawer, just about.\u00a0 You get all that good stuff coming together as a dovetail drawer, and that\u2019s what makes all the strengths and weaknesses work together for the good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, one of the things that I didn\u2019t appreciate about John was that before marriage, I really loved that he was a strong man.\u00a0 He was strong in his convictions, a man of integrity.\u00a0 He was a very focused, determined\u2014which after marriage, began to push back at my strengths.\u00a0 Being the independent, I wanted to loose myself of that.\u00a0 So, the idea of following him\u2014after I became a Christian, I even had to wrap my mind around what it meant to follow him as the leader in our home.\u00a0 That was difficult for me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Just based upon what you are saying here, submission was just real easy for you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That \u201cS\u201d word\u2014the other \u201cS\u201d word, definitely, was very difficult for me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Kind of hard to do; huh?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would have to annihilate my pride first before I could submit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was no fun.\u00a0 I wanted my way.\u00a0 Think about that.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 We like to have our way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 I really appreciate your honesty.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Submission is still no fun; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Yes, it is more fun now.\u00a0 Let\u2019s say I appreciate it greatly because I appreciate how God blesses it.\u00a0 I believe that submission has got to be the most powerful principle in Scripture.\u00a0 We would not be having this session today if Jesus Christ hadn\u2019t submitted to the Father\u2014must be something really powerful about submission when God ordains it\u2014when God calls someone to it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what is it about a woman, who has been ordained to be in this marital relationship\u2014a very powerful, positive influence\u2014I believe that.\u00a0 I know that to be true, based on Scripture.\u00a0 What is it about submission that contributes to that powerful, positive influence?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When I began to really understand that submission was voluntary and that it was an act of trust and faith in God\u2014so, I would have to\u2014on some issues\u2014I had to trust God with my husband in order to submit.\u00a0 Then, I could submit with the right heart; but submitting, for me\u2014if I were to put it in another context, literally, means to me adapting to my husband\u2019s leadership in our home.\u00a0 Adapting took me some time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>When you say, \u201cIt\u2019s voluntary,\u201d you don\u2019t mean it\u2019s optional.\u00a0 You mean you have to decide if you\u2019re going to submit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Submission involves dying to self.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Truly. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s why nobody wants to do it; but I can think there\u2019d be a lot of women who would say, \u201cWell, why is it the woman is the one who has to die to self and the man gets to decide how things are going to be, and he doesn\u2019t have to die to self?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes, he does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, but it doesn\u2019t feel like that if you\u2019re the woman, who is always submitting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It might not feel like that; but I didn\u2019t understand that, when I deferred to my husband, I was strengthening \u201cus\u201d\u2014that \u201cus\u201d of John and Judy.\u00a0 It also made him more responsive to me.\u00a0 As I began to respect him\u2014and you cannot separate submission and respect\u2014to me, the most ultimate act of respect is submitting to his leadership in the home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNo matter what it was, I stopped correcting him in front of the girls.\u00a0 It began to build <em>our <\/em>relationship.\u00a0 He began to trust <em>me<\/em> more.\u00a0 He began to see me more\u2014in, I think, the light that God wanted him to see me\u2014inthat as a woman who loved the Lord and loved her husband.\u00a0 Then, he began to trust me when he wanted counsel about certain things.\u00a0 It\u2019s just amazing the doors that it opened in our relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What you\u2019re saying is submission is life-giving.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is absolutely life-giving!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>First Peter, Chapter 2\u2014the end of the whole chapter\u2014it talks about how Christ suffered on our behalf and left for us an example to follow.\u00a0 It says, \u201cHe entrusted Himself to His Father.\u201d\u00a0 Then, in Chapter 3, verse 1, it says, \u201cLikewise, wives be submissive to your own husbands.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Jesus Christ brought life to us, as you said, through submission.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that a woman who submits to her husband brings enormous life to him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know we can say, \u201cSo, a wife should submit because the Bible says she should;\u201d but I\u2019m still thinking of a wife who is saying, \u201cI don\u2019t understand why he doesn\u2019t have to die to self.\u201d\u00a0 You said, \u201cYes, he does;\u201d but she\u2019s thinking, \u201cI\u2019m the one who has to let him have his way all the time.\u00a0 Why shouldn\u2019t he be the one to have to let me have my way some of the times?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that\u2019s more of a communication issue rather than a submission issue.\u00a0 I guess it might also depend, too, on her husband\u2019s spots.\u00a0 Some women are dealing with some pretty difficult men, where submission is lording authority over their wives.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the loving servant-leader that is supposed to take on this role of headship in the home.\u00a0 So, I think it depends.\u00a0 If her husband is a Christian, that\u2019s not even a guarantee that he\u2019s going to walk out servant-leadership the right way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I look at all of the many women, myself included, at one time, who wasn\u2019t walking out her role as a respectful wife.\u00a0 We can\u2019t say, \u201cWell, just because you\u2019ve got a big \u201cC\u201d on your chest as a Christian, doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019re going to do this stuff right;\u201d but I am a believer that\u2014my job, as a Christian wife, is to get my role right, before the Lord.\u00a0 I believe that if I am living out my role, as God calls me to live out my role, and I release my husband to the Lord, and let him be God\u2019s project\u2014just like I\u2019m God\u2019s project\u2014then, God\u2019s going to do something with that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, even if he\u2019s not living out his role the way he\u2019s supposed to, that doesn\u2019t mean, then, you don\u2019t have to live out your role.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am not absolved of following God\u2019s will in my life as my husband\u2019s wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re saying if you\u2019ll do what God calls you to do\u2014you believe that God will use that to have an impact on your husband.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, absolutely.\u00a0 One thing I did learn, as I was studying about submission, is we\u2019re not talking about doormat stuff.\u00a0 Submission takes a lot of strength, and it takes a lot of dignity.\u00a0 For me to submit to my husband in an area that might be difficult for me\u2014because what if I really am right?\u00a0 Do you know how much courage it takes to say, \u201cOkay, Lord, you must have a lesson in this\u2014somewhere.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to submit to You first so that I can submit to my husband in this issue\u2014that we don\u2019t agree on right now\u2014and just let you be God.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt a time when something happens where it does turn out that, by golly, you were right, you don\u2019t push the I-told-you-so button.\u00a0 You come alongside him and you say, \u201cYou know, we\u2019re going to get through this together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Judy, you\u2019ve taught thousands of women this principle.\u00a0 Share a situation that, perhaps, another woman has shared back with you as to how she\u2019s applied what you\u2019re talking about here\u2014and not, necessarily, that it just all came out perfectly\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but how did it work?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have a gal, who I would mentor her in her marriage.\u00a0 We would be walking through the Bible, and we\u2019d walk through the study together.\u00a0 She\u2019d learn the principles of submission because she was one of the ones, I said, \u201cWould you say you\u2019ve been following God in your marriage?\u201d She\u2019d say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what that looks like.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe wasn\u2019t sure what was going on with her husband.\u00a0 We walked through what the Lord would call her to be for him, and he was very responsive to it.\u00a0 Then, things looked like they were turning around.\u00a0 Then, it was discovered that he was in the throes of an affair, and he just took advantage of her; but in the two years that she had grown closer to God through her seeking Him in her marriage, she had the courage to move on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She would\u2014she might look in that situation and say, \u201cOkay, I tried the submission thing and, obviously, that didn\u2019t work.\u201d\u00a0 What\u2019s your response to that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cYou followed God in this time of your marriage when you didn\u2019t know what else to do, and you did the right thing.\u00a0 He will honor that.\u00a0 He really will.\u201d\u00a0 She has no regrets, and that\u2019s the beauty of following God in your marriage.\u00a0 When you do, by the Book, what God calls you to do in your marriages\u2014no matter how difficult they are\u2014and he turns around and walks away, you have no regrets.\u00a0 You really can look at yourself in the mirror.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are women, hearing us talk about this whole thing.\u00a0 They are really angry right now because they say, \u201cYou don\u2019t know my situation.\u00a0 You don\u2019t know my man\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cYou don\u2019t know what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard this.\u00a0 It\u2019s been abused.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had submission rammed down my throat.\u00a0 I\u2019m not even sure why I\u2019m still listening\u2014why I haven\u2019t changed the channel.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Submission doesn\u2019t mean rolling over and playing dead.\u00a0 I believe submission means that we\u2019ve got to take a stand on what we believe--make sure that our husbands understand how we feel\u2014all of this is done respectfully.\u00a0 If we have a concern about a road he\u2019s going down, he needs to know.\u00a0 That\u2019s what a helpmate does.\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m supposed to be the person who comes alongside my husband\u2014a help in time of trouble, if need be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy job is to respectfully express my concerns and my thoughts\u2014my suggestions, if necessary.\u00a0 If he makes a decision that is counter to what I believe is the correct decision, I\u2019ve got to believe that God is going to work within that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I hear you saying, Judy, is\u2014submission isn\u2019t silent.\u00a0 I think, sometimes, we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, it isn\u2019t.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014make it silent.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara doesn\u2019t do that with me.\u00a0 I want to know her opinion; even though sometimes I don\u2019t necessarily appreciate her opinion.\u00a0 It may differ from mine, but I need to hear that.\u00a0 What I hear you saying is\u2014submission does speak up.\u00a0 Then, there is a time to trust God and to trust that your husband is God\u2019s project.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t express our concerns\u2014and this is not something that just leaves our mouths, without going to the Lord first.\u00a0 Prayer is key\u2014so, to go and pray about, first off\u2014if we should say it.\u00a0 Then, if that impression is there, \u201cLord, you map out the what, and the where, and the when.\u201d\u00a0 He\u2019s faithful to me.\u00a0 He really will answer that prayer.\u00a0 I will be able to speak.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t do that, then, there could be a condition in our marriage that we\u2019re enabling because we haven\u2019t had the courage to speak up.\u00a0 We think submission is just going along for the ride or going along with the flow, and that\u2019s <em>not<\/em> what submission is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI believe that submission is the gift we offer our husbands, respectfully, as the leader in our homes\u2014one that I am willing to follow\u2014and I follow respectfully.\u00a0 The return on a woman who begins to practice that kind of respect in her marriage\u2014I think she is going to see things change rather quickly.\u00a0 I know it did\u2014I know I watched John change in his response to me as I became more respectful of who he was and how he did things.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t the way I did things, but I learned to respect that.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, the wife who would say, \u201cWell, I read\u2014there\u2019s one verse that says you\u2019re to submit to one another.\u00a0 So, shouldn\u2019t there be times when he has to submit to me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think he does that in loving me as Christ loves the church.\u00a0 What greater act of submission than to give one\u2019s life up for someone?\u00a0 I believe that\u2019s what God\u2019s called husbands to do for their wives and families.\u00a0 I know my husband would do that in a nano.\u00a0 He\u2019s just taking it just one step further and was willing to give it up for his country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo me, the ultimate act of submission is giving up your life.\u00a0 That\u2019s what God calls him to do for us.\u00a0 It takes practice for them, just like respect doesn\u2019t come naturally to us.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think that kind of love comes naturally to a man.\u00a0 So, we have to begin to do that dance\u2014with the Holy Spirit as the leader for both of us\u2014to see what that looks like in our marriages.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Earlier, we talked about how a woman has to die to self to be able to do this.\u00a0 Bob kidded and said that maybe a husband\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just\u2014yes, I just said, \u201cWhy doesn\u2019t he have to die to self?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the reality is\u2014what you\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 The kind of love a husband is called to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014love his wife does demand self-denial, self-sacrifice\u2014if he does it right; alright?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I will tell you, that over the years, I\u2019ve seen my husband do it more and more.\u00a0 It\u2019s been a real blessing for me because\u2014especially in these last few years\u2014as I\u2019d undergone a couple of surgeries that left me partially paralyzed in my left leg.\u00a0 I needed him everywhere I went, basically.\u00a0 He would go with me to my retreats and conferences and, literally, take such protective care of me that\u2014I know the witness that he was, among those women, was astounding.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that God has brought us from, I think, two pretty self-centered, young adults to two devoted people to each other, who hope to leave a legacy to our children and our children\u2019s children that, \u201cThis is what marriage is supposed to look like,\u201d because we\u2019re going to end up exactly the way we started\u2014two people, alone together.\u00a0 When you start, you are two people, alone together\u2014when the nest is empty\u2014hopefully, for years thereafter.\u00a0 So, we better be working toward what that\u2019s going to look like because that should be rich.\u00a0 It shouldn\u2019t be as empty as the nest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thing about that\u2014as we work toward those\u2014the depth of our relationship of getting beyond the ups and the downs and all of the things that are anywhere from disappointing to downright ugly\u2014as we let God get us on the other side of those, we\u2019ll have no regrets.\u00a0 One of us is going to bury the other someday.\u00a0 I\u2019m hoping it is years from now, but it should be with no regrets.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you do follow the Scripture, I think the thing I\u2019d want our listeners to know, \u201cThere is a payoff.\u201d\u00a0 There really is.\u00a0 Over time, that selfishness, that marked the marriage in the early years, is not quite as pronounced.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not at all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Notice, I said not quite as pronounced.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wish it went away, but we\u2019re still learning and growing; but as you yield to Jesus Christ, He does take two pretty selfish people and He does merge them together as one.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 He does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is not something that comes naturally to wives\u2014just as loving your wife as Christ loved the church doesn\u2019t come naturally to husbands.\u00a0 This is something that we have to be transformed into by the work of the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it\u2019s important, Bob, that women gather with other women and get in the Book\u2014get in the Bible.\u00a0 Certainly, Judy has come up with a great study here\u2014training women in how to think biblically and respond biblically to their husbands, in this area of the marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it would be really important for wives, who have never been in a small group Bible study like this, to get this workbook and begin to go through it with three or four other woman.\u00a0 Just get real and honest with one another.\u00a0 That was a real breakthrough in Judy\u2019s marriage when she finally decided, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I don\u2019t like the way it is.\u00a0 I want to change things.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, then, you\u2019re going to have to wrestle with some things when you do\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Judy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014but anyone can take the initiative to call a group of friends\u2014three or four other women\u2014and say, \u201cI would like to go through this study.\u00a0 I\u2019d like you\u2019d to go through it with me because I think it would be good for us to have some mutual accountability and some discussion on some of these issues.\u00a0 There are some things we can wrestle with together.\u201d\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to be something formal or a program that you\u2019re setting up.\u00a0 It can just be you, with a handful of other wives, deciding to do this in your own home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got information about Judy\u2019s study.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Enhancing Your Marriage<\/em>.\u00a0 You can find information about it, online, at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 That\u2019s our website.\u00a0 Look for the Bible study by Judy Rossi called <em>Enhancing Your Marriage<\/em>; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, be sure to ask about the study called <em>Enhancing Your Marriage<\/em> by Judy Rossi.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, like most of the programs you hear on this station, is a listener-supported program.\u00a0 All of us work hard to produce the program that we make available each day.\u00a0 It\u2019s available, not only on this station; but it\u2019s available around the world via the internet.\u00a0 There are costs associated with all of the technology that\u2019s required to distribute the program and to produce the program.\u00a0 That\u2019s why we come to listeners and say, \u201cCan you help us?\u201d because we are listener-supported.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>It\u2019s your donations that make this program possible.\u00a0 Without your support, we could not continue the work of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 So, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and consider making an online donation if you would; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for your support.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with this ministry and glad to have you listening.\u00a0 Thanks for whatever you are able to do in helping to defray the cost associated with this program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about romance, intimacy, passion.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about some of the challenges around that in a marriage relationship and hear Judy Rossi\u2019s thoughts about a wife\u2019s responsibility in that area.\u00a0 We may meet her husband tomorrow, as well.\u00a0 So, we hope you\u2019ll tune in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today\u2014his name is Keith Lynch\u2014and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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