{"id":302537,"date":"2012-06-08T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-06-08T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/dads-assignment-practice-patience-and-kindness\/"},"modified":"2012-06-08T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-06-08T15:00:00","slug":"dads-assignment-practice-patience-and-kindness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dads-assignment-practice-patience-and-kindness\/","title":{"rendered":"Dad&#8217;s Assignment:  Practice Patience and Kindness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At what point did you feel confident as a parent?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-06-08.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.79M","filesize_raw":"27047122","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837],"tags":[4350,4698],"podcast_series":[7350],"cwp_profile":[3182],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302537","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","tag-character","tag-manhood","podcast_series-all-pro-dad","cwp_profile-mark-merrill","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302537\/dads-assignment-practice-patience-and-kindness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302537\/dads-assignment-practice-patience-and-kindness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"bAOhr1tbLI\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dads-assignment-practice-patience-and-kindness\/\">Dad&#8217;s Assignment:  Practice Patience and Kindness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dads-assignment-practice-patience-and-kindness\/embed\/#?secret=bAOhr1tbLI\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Dad&#8217;s Assignment:  Practice Patience and Kindness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"bAOhr1tbLI\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"At what point did you feel confident as a parent?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-06-08.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Every son needs to know that his father loves him unconditionally.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Mark Merrill.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just a few years ago, my wife and I adopted two children from Russia.\u00a0 One was 12 years old, and one was nine years old.\u00a0 The nine-year-old son\u2014he was detached.\u00a0 He did not want to receive love from a father or, certainly, a Heavenly Father; but consistently, even though he would say things to me\u2014he\u2019d take a swing at me even\u2014I would consistently look at him and I\u2019d say, \u201cGrant, I will never leave you.\u00a0 I will never forsake you.\u00a0 You are my son, and I love you.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing, nothing, nothing that you can do that will separate you from my love for you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, June 8<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What are the things that make any man an <em>All Pro Dad<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk with Mark Merrill about that today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 At what point in your parenting did you start to feel like, \u201cOkay, I think I\u2019m getting a handle on this\u201d?\u00a0 Was that when your kids were little; when they were teenagers?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, when Barbara had our first born, Ashley, the doctor handed her to me; and, \u201cI got this.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got this nailed!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You knew right away.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, my goodness.\u00a0 That\u2019s a great question, Bob.\u00a0 Honestly, I don\u2019t think I ever had that kind of confidence.\u00a0 I think children were given to us by God to cause us to trust Him.\u00a0 I think they are redemptive.\u00a0 They saved me from myself\u2014self-focus, self-confidence, ego.\u00a0 I mean, there is no way to\u2014whether you raise one or half a dozen, like we did, or a dozen\u2014it really doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 Children are not robots.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They are going to expose your Achilles\u2019 heel as a dad or as a mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the paradox for us, as men, is we know God\u2019s called us to lead our families, lead our kids; but all of us go, \u201cI kind of am not sure.\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s a lack of confidence because we\u2019ve never been down this trail before.\u00a0 Some of us didn\u2019t have good modeling.\u00a0 Even if we had good modeling, you\u2019re still not\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you are still not charging forth like, \u201cI know exactly what I\u2019m doing.\u201d\u00a0 All of us have that insecurity; don\u2019t we?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and we need coaches.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We need someone to come into our life and be a coach.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got\u2014well, the next best thing to Tony Dungy in the studio.\u00a0 Mark Merrill joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hey, good to be with you.\u00a0 Bob, wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ll take that introduction, won\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 I\u2019m impressed by\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re in good company.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that introduction.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He works with Tony Dungy in a ministry called <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0 Mark is the founder and president of Family First<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 <em>All Pro Dad<\/em> is a division of that.\u00a0 He and his wife Susan raised five in Tampa, Florida; and he\u2019s written a book called <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou\u2019ve outlined this book, really, in a way that is meant to do what Bob\u2019s talking about\u2014coaching a dad to know how to be all pro.\u00a0 Is there the hope that a man can feel like, \u201cYes, I\u2019m going to Hawaii.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to play in the Pro Bowl\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 In the Pro Bowl?\u00a0 You know first of all, Dennis and Bob, I would say that I am not an <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0 I\u2019m always striving but never arriving.\u00a0 It\u2019s a lifelong journey.\u00a0 It\u2019s something that we become as men, and it\u2019s something that we do as fathers.\u00a0 It\u2019s really interesting because a guy named Chuck Noll\u2014you guys will remember him\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Four-time Super Bowl winning champion, head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers.\u00a0\u00a0 He said, \u201cChampions are champions, not because they do anything extraordinary, but because they do the ordinary things better than anyone else.\u201d\u00a0 What he was saying is, \u201cYou guys have got this misconception of what it takes to be an all pro.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cYou guys think it\u2019s these <em>ESPN<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> highlight-reel kind of things that it takes to be an all pro.\u201d\u00a0 He goes, \u201cNo, that\u2019s not it.\u201d\u00a0 He goes, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to know and execute the fundamentals. There are fundamentals that it takes to play the game.\u00a0 Knowing and executing those fundamentals, day in and day out, that\u2019s how you win.\u00a0 That\u2019s how you become a champion, and that\u2019s how you become an all pro.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s the same way to become an <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to know and execute those fundamentals, day in and day out.\u00a0 The fundamentals of fatherhood, really, ultimately, boil down to love and leadership.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, it is interesting\u2014Jesus said, \u201cHe who is faithful in little, much more shall be given to him.\u201d\u00a0 I do think that a huge portion of parenting is for a man just to attempt to be faithful\u2014to do what God\u2019s called him to do, today, as a father, and to not quit, to not bail\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and you talk about love and leadership as being the key components of being an <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0 It brought to mind a study that was done years ago at the University of Minnesota, where they boiled parenting down.\u00a0 They said, \u201cThere are really two questions every child is asking Mom and Dad.\u00a0 They\u2019re asking, \u201cDo you love me, and can I do whatever I want?\u201d\u00a0 They said, \u201cHow you answer those two questions really determine the kind of parent you\u2019re going to be.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cDo you love me?\u201d\u00a0 One of dad\u2019s assignments is he\u2019s got to make sure that his sons and daughters all know that he desperately\u2014not just that he tips his hat to loving them\u2014it can\u2019t be the kind of thing where a dad goes, \u201cOh, they know I love them.\u00a0 You know I bring them\u2014yes, they know.\u201d\u00a0 No.\u00a0 They\u2019ve got to know it, deep down.\u00a0 Dad has got to be actively demonstrating aggressive love for his children; doesn\u2019t he?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 No question about it.\u00a0 So, the answers, respectively, are, \u201cYes,\u201d and, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes, I love you,\u201d and, \u201cNo, I will not always let you do what you want to do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the leadership component where a child, who if he\u2019s going his own direction\u2014if he\u2019s following his own passions, he\u2019s going to head off in the ditch\u2014and Dad\u2019s got to be there and say, \u201cNo, we\u2019re going to put some boundaries around your life to help you here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I\u2019ve really had to learn how to demonstrate that unconditional love in my kids\u2019 lives; and I thought I knew a little bit about how to do that.\u00a0 Then, just a few years ago, my wife and I adopted two children from Russia.\u00a0 One was 12 years old, and one was nine years old.\u00a0 The nine-year-old son grew up in a very challenging environment.\u00a0 We call him \u201c<em>The Jungle Book<\/em> boy\u201d.\u00a0 He lived, oftentimes, outside in the woods of Siberia in Russia.\u00a0 Can you imagine\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014being outside, especially in 40 below zero degree temperatures, in a God-forsaken country like that?\u00a0 He grew up in a very challenging environment.\u00a0 He grew up with a mother who was an alcoholic and oftentimes beat him\u2014his father did, too\u2014when he was younger.\u00a0 He had no one showing him any love.\u00a0 He just said, \u201cI\u2019m going to do this on my own.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to make it on my own.\u201d\u00a0 So, when we got him out of the orphanage and brought him back to Tampa, there were a lot of challenges that we had to go through with him\u2014as we have to do with all of our children\u2014but specifically with him\u2014he was detached.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe did not want to receive any of that love from us.\u00a0 He did not want to receive love from a father or, certainly, a Heavenly Father, as well; but consistently, even though he would say things to me\u2014he\u2019d take a swing at me even\u2014I would consistently look at him\u2014and I\u2019d even grab him in a bear hug and I\u2019d say, \u201cGrant, just like Christ loves us, I will never leave you.\u00a0 I will never forsake you.\u00a0 You are my son, and I love you.\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing, nothing, that you can do that will separate you from my love for you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just thinking, as you are telling that story, you shared earlier how you grew up in a home with an alcoholic father.\u00a0 So, you knew what it was like not to trust.\u00a0 You knew what it was like to have that arm out at a distance, pushing somebody out.\u00a0 God used your wounds in your life as a boy to prepare you to reach out to a boy from Siberia\u2014to love him.\u00a0 Remarkable.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Isn\u2019t it amazing the sovereignty of God and how He brings this all together; but Dennis and Bob, I didn\u2019t order this.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want pain!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, of course not!\u00a0 We have children and then, come the lessons.\u00a0 I mean, think of the lessons you\u2019ve learned about the love of God through your two children you have chosen.\u00a0 You chose these two\u2014to go get them and to redeem them out of a situation where they didn\u2019t have a family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I have had to learn, though, at the same time\u2014it\u2019s just what we mentioned before\u2014my job is to be faithful and obedient.\u00a0 I\u2019m not responsible, and I can\u2019t take responsibility for the results.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t mean we throw our hands up in the air and say, \u201cI can\u2019t do anything about this,\u201d but we\u2019ve got to really strive to do the best we can do, as parents, under God\u2019s authority.\u00a0 Then, He\u2019s going to take care of things.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to believe that these children are under the hand and authority of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you find that a lot of dads\u2014they just find it hard to be open and expressive in demonstrating and verbalizing love for their kids?\u00a0 Or do you think most dads\u2014that comes naturally to them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I think most dads have struggles of their own.\u00a0 They\u2019re trying to get there in their own life.\u00a0 That\u2019s something I do address in the book.\u00a0 I talk about these seven M\u2019s that every man must know to effectively execute the fundamentals of love and leadership well.\u00a0 <br><br>In the first chapter, I talk about makeup\u2014\u201cWho am I?\u201d\u00a0 Because if he doesn\u2019t know who he is\u2014that he was made by God and for God, that he has immeasurable dignity, value, and worth\u2014then, he\u2019s not going to be able to convey that to his children.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s going to be a cyclical issue.\u00a0 There are a lot of things that men really need to know about themselves in order to be and at least strive to be an <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You point out a couple of things about our identity as men.\u00a0 You say, \u201cWe\u2019re not what we do.\u201d\u00a0 In other words, it\u2019s not our vocation that determines our identity.\u00a0 It\u2019s also not the culture that determines\u2014the herd peer pressure that determines our identity.\u00a0 You tell a story about a bunch of sheep who followed one sheep; and I couldn\u2019t help but thinking, \u201cAll we like sheep\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201chave gone astray.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201chave gone astray, each to his own way.\u201d\u00a0 This sheep went his own way.\u00a0 Tell them the story of what the sheep did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 In 2005, there were these villagers in Geva\u015f, Turkey, who reportedly witnessed a sheep which had wandered away.\u00a0 That sheep walked off a nearby cliff, but the story didn\u2019t end there.\u00a0 Suddenly, all of the other sheep in that area decided to follow.\u00a0 It was reported\u2014true story\u2014that 1,500 sheep, worth well over $100,000, walked off that cliff to the rocks below.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t know they were going to a very bad place\u2014only that they were following the sheep in front of them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, wait\u2014so, the question our parents always ask, \u201cIf your friend jumped off the bridge, would you do it?\u201d\u00a0 The answer is, \u201cYes, probably.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you\u2019re sheep and if you don\u2019t know who you are.\u00a0 That\u2019s what gives you your value\u2014who you are.\u00a0 In fact, in the book, I talk about how identity is who you really are.\u00a0 Image is how others view you.\u00a0 Identity is conceived; image is manufactured.\u00a0 Identity never changes; image changes.\u00a0 Identity has eternal value; image only short-term value.\u00a0 Identity relies on internal qualities; image, external.\u00a0 Identity has immeasurable value; image has relative value.\u00a0 Your identity is unique\u2014you are one of a kind\u2014image is common.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is one book that has been used in my life, repeatedly, to remind me who I am, what my identity is.\u00a0 It\u2019s the Bible because I tend to compare with other people.\u00a0 I tend to conform with other people.\u00a0 It\u2019s just amazing, as a man, as a human being, we don\u2019t think rightly about ourselves.\u00a0 To think rightly about ourselves, we have to understand who God is and who we are.\u00a0 He tells us in the Bible both of those things: Who God is and who we are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, we have to believe it and live according to it rather than being conformed by all of the messages we\u2019re getting from the culture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 No question about it.\u00a0 It\u2019s easy to say, and it\u2019s much harder to do.\u00a0 Let me give you a current illustration.\u00a0 I walk up to this incredible FamilyLife building today.\u00a0 I see what Dennis Rainey has done here.\u00a0 I see what Bob Lepine has done over the last 20- plus years with this radio program.\u00a0 I\u2019ll have to tell you.\u00a0 I looked at it and I said, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Why couldn\u2019t I have done that?\u00a0 Why couldn\u2019t I do the things that they\u2019re doing?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was looking up to you guys, and seeing what you did, and what I didn\u2019t have instead of saying, \u201cLook at what God is doing in my life.\u00a0 It may be different.\u00a0 It may not be as substantial; but what God is doing in my life is very, very important.\u201d\u00a0 That not only applies to me but to every other man out there.\u00a0 Every man has a purpose, and we need to really understand that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Comparison is a curse.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a curse because you can always find somebody who\u2019s wealthier, more successful\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014yes\u2014smarter, faster\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in a better \u201cplace\u201d, it seems.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really occurs in marriage, too.\u00a0 You guys have seen this, probably, time and time again with guests on your show.\u00a0\u00a0 I remember my wife and I had this couple\u2014who we\u2019re very, very close friends when we were younger\u2014and still friends\u2014but we looked at them, and they were lovey-dovey with each other.\u00a0 We looked at them, and my wife said, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Why can\u2019t we have that kind of marriage that they have?\u00a0 Look at them!\u00a0 Look at the way they talk to each other.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cLook at the way they treat each other.\u201d\u00a0 Well, you can probably guess what happened.\u00a0 What happened is\u2014about two years later\u2014they had been having severe struggles that we didn\u2019t know about.\u00a0 They went through a horrendous divorce that devastated their family, tore their children a part.\u00a0 So, we don\u2019t always know what\u2019s going on behind the curtain.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can\u2019t always be looking at other people saying, \u201cLook how much better they have it than me at their office, in their marriage, and with their kids.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cLook at their kids, how awesome they are.\u201d\u00a0 We don\u2019t know what\u2019s really happening in their lives because everybody has pain, and everybody has struggles that they go through.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mark, we\u2019ve talked about a dad engaging relationally with his kids and really demonstrating and articulating his love for them.\u00a0 Do you think it\u2019s equally hard for a dad to be the leader he needs to be and to step in and say, \u201cNo,\u201d when he needs to say, \u201cNo;\u201d or to lead with wisdom and compassion?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s face it.\u00a0\u00a0 As dads and as parents, we want to say, \u201cYes,\u201d to our kids.\u00a0 We don\u2019t want to say, \u201cNo.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 If they want to do something, we sound\u2014we think that that sounds great.\u00a0 We want to be able to say, \u201cYes,\u201d to them.\u00a0 It\u2019s really hard to say, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 Not just, \u201cNo,\u201d one time; but it seems like we\u2019re consistently saying, \u201cNo,\u201d to our kids.\u00a0 At least, we should be saying, \u201cNo,\u201d to our kids with a lot of things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, there are so many things\u2014as you guys know\u2014even though there is nothing new under the sun, there are so many things in our culture today that are adversely impacting our kids.\u00a0 It just seems like it\u2019s coming in\u2014in waves more so now than ever before. It\u2019s just a big challenge.\u00a0 It seems like I spend, literally, an hour or two each day just defending and protecting my kids and building those Nehemiah walls to protect them from outside forces.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I spent some time, over spring break, with my son, Samuel, who has got four children.\u00a0 We were watching the <em>Final Four<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 I was really proud of him because\u2014to your point about guarding your family\u2014when commercials would come on that were inappropriate for his son to see, who was watching the game with us, my son would\u2014who had the channel surfer\u2014he would click away.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>The Weather Channel<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> was always where we went during commercial breaks because <em>The Weather Channel<\/em> was a pretty safe place to go, but you\u2019ve got to go somewhere.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just telling you, Mark, I really believe in you, and your ministry, and what you\u2019re about because if men don\u2019t guard and protect the next generation, evil will prey upon our children.\u00a0 It will conquer them and destroy them, their legacies, and their mission on this planet.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 No question about it.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to do everything we can; and we have to realize, as men, that we\u2019ve got to have a new kind of mindset.\u00a0 We\u2019re just not a provider or even just protector\u2014we are those two things, but we have to remember that we need to have a new mindset as men.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI like to illustrate it this way\u2014think of the Navy Seals.\u00a0 These guys are not only physically tough, but they are mentally tough.\u00a0 They\u2019ve got the mindset that their job and their mission is all important.\u00a0 In the same way, as fathers, we need to understand that our job is the most important job that we have here on earth; and our mission to love and lead our kids is all important.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis and Bob, our greatest fear as fathers shouldn\u2019t be of failure.\u00a0 It should be of succeeding at things in life that don\u2019t really matter.\u00a0 A father\u2019s mission matters!\u00a0 It has eternal value and significance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 To go back to the subject of identity and what we talked about earlier, you make a statement in your book, Mark, that I really like.\u00a0 It is succinct, but it ought to challenge every man\u2014and for that matter, every woman, young man, or young lady, who is listening to this broadcast.\u00a0 Here\u2019s your statement.\u00a0 You say, \u201cYou were created by God and for God.\u00a0 Your identity is that you\u2019re made in the image of God, created by Him.\u00a0 Secondly, you were redeemed by Him through Jesus Christ, if you\u2019ll place your faith in Him as One who paid the price for your sins.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 He is the perfect father.\u00a0 We talk a lot in our culture about role-modeling.\u00a0 If we want the ultimate role-model, we have to look to the perfect Father.\u00a0 If we want to be or even strive to be an <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>, we\u2019ve got to look, and be conformed, and be more like our Heavenly Father.\u00a0 That\u2019s how we can become an <em>All Pro Dad.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would agree with that; and just to a man, who is listening right now, you will never be able to be the man you were created to be, or the husband, or the <em>All Pro Dad<\/em> if you\u2019re attempting to do it without God, and without referencing and using His playbook, the Scriptures, to guide your life.\u00a0 It simply will not happen.\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to occur.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it may be that the action point for a guy, who is listening today.\u00a0 Instead of thinking about, \u201cWhat kind of dad am I called to be?\u201d, he first needs to think about his relationship with God and, \u201cIs it right?\u201d\u00a0 Is he rightly related to God?\u00a0 Is he yielded?\u00a0 Is he submitting?\u00a0 Is he a man of prayer, a man of faith, a man of the Word?\u00a0 All of these things need to be foundational.\u00a0 They need to be in place for a guy before he stops to think about being the husband and the father that God\u2019s called him to be because it\u2019s out of that foundation that the other things come.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just encourage listeners\u2014on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com, we\u2019ve got a link that says, \u201cTwo Ways to Live.\u201d\u00a0 It really sets out two different paths that people are on.\u00a0 One path that involves living, based on the way that seems best to you, and another path that leads you in a God-ward direction.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage you to click on that link and just ask the question, \u201cWhich path am I on?\u00a0 Where am I?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the link that says, \u201cTwo Ways to Live\u201d.\u00a0 Then, follow through what you see there.\u00a0 Let me also encourage you, while you\u2019re at FamilyLifeToday.com, there is information about Mark Merrill\u2019s new book, <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0 You can order a copy of the book from us, if you\u2019d like.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMark and the <em>All Pro Dad<\/em> team, along with Coach Tony Dungy, are planning a national simulcast in August with some NFL<em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> football players, and dads, and sons.\u00a0 There\u2019s more information about that simulcast at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can click on the link there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we\u2019re on the subject of simulcasts for men, FamilyLife has a Stepping Up National Men\u2019s Simulcast taking place on Saturday, August 4<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 It\u2019s from 9:00 in the morning to 1:00 in the afternoon, Eastern Time; 8:00 until Noon, Central Time.\u00a0 Then, it\u2019s being rebroadcast for the Mountain Time and the west coast, as well.\u00a0 James MacDonald, Robert Lewis, Crawford Loritts, and Dennis Rainey are all speaking.\u00a0 This is a rally time for men\u2014a kickoff meeting for the fall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a lot of churches that have started signing on as host churches for this event.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to host this at your church, talk to your pastor.\u00a0 Send him to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click on the link for the Stepping Up National Men\u2019s Simulcast; and then, get information about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series, that\u2019s coming out in the fall, as well.\u00a0 Again, you\u2019ll find all of this at FamilyLifeToday.com; or give us a call at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Finally, I should mention that those listeners who don\u2019t already have a copy of your book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, or maybe they are interested in getting a copy that could be passed along to somebody as a gift, this month, we\u2019re making copies available to those of you who are able to help support our ministry.\u00a0 <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported.\u00a0 The cost for producing and syndicating this radio program is covered by folks, like you, who make a donation from time to time and say, \u201cWe\u2019re with you.\u00a0 We like what you\u2019re doing.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, if you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and make an online donation, we\u2019ll automatically send you a copy of Dennis\u2019 book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Just be sure to ask for a copy of the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, if you call.\u00a0 We\u2019ll know to send it out to you.\u00a0 Again, thanks for your partnership with us.\u00a0 We do appreciate you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk to a young pastor who thinks every husband needs to take responsibility for dating his wife.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about how you do that as a man.\u00a0 That comes up on Monday.\u00a0 Hope you can be with us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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