{"id":302536,"date":"2012-06-07T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-06-07T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/being-a-hero-to-your-family\/"},"modified":"2012-06-07T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-06-07T15:00:00","slug":"being-a-hero-to-your-family","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/being-a-hero-to-your-family\/","title":{"rendered":"Being a Hero to Your Family"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you realize that fatherhood is your profession?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-06-07.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.68M","filesize_raw":"24832746","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837],"tags":[4350,4698],"podcast_series":[7350],"cwp_profile":[3182],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302536","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","tag-character","tag-manhood","podcast_series-all-pro-dad","cwp_profile-mark-merrill","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302536\/being-a-hero-to-your-family","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302536\/being-a-hero-to-your-family","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"bFFqmJDknV\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/being-a-hero-to-your-family\/\">Being a Hero to Your Family<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/being-a-hero-to-your-family\/embed\/#?secret=bFFqmJDknV\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Being a Hero to Your Family&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"bFFqmJDknV\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Do you realize that fatherhood is your profession?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-06-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Every dad is a family coach.\u00a0 A good coach knows he needs to listen to a little coaching himself from time to time\u2014coaching from his wife.\u00a0 That\u2019s a lesson that <em>All Pro Dad<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Mark Merrill, has learned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I would have rather have just a wife that agreed with everything I said and did everything I said, but I know that that wouldn\u2019t end up being what\u2019s best for our relationship and best for our family.\u00a0 So, I did listen to her; and it hurts.\u00a0 It hurts to hear those things; but again, she\u2019s earned the right to say those things to me.\u00a0 She\u2019s earned my trust.\u00a0 So, I\u2019m going to listen to her when she says those kinds of things to me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, June 7<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 It takes a good husband-wife team for a dad to become an All Pro Dad.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, I don\u2019t know that I\u2019ve ever thought about fatherhood as a profession\u2014something you do professionally.\u00a0 Maybe that\u2019s because I\u2019ve felt like such an amateur!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019re not being paid to do it\u2014so you figure you\u2019re a volunteer; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, there are a lot of guys that can identify with that, but we\u2019ve got a guy here with us\u2014a friend, Mark Merrill, who joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, whose mission is really all about helping men think\u2014well, more biblically, more accurately, about what it means to be a dad.\u00a0 Mark, welcome to the broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, Bob, it\u2019s awesome to be with you guys.\u00a0 Having known you for many years, this is my first time in the studio.\u00a0 So, thank you for having me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Good to have you here, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s great to have you.\u00a0 Mark is the founder and president of Family First<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 He and his wife Susan live in Tampa, Florida, along\u2014well, I guess you don\u2019t have five children at home anymore; but at one point, you had five teenagers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I only had four at one time, and the total number of miles on the vehicles we had was 760,000 miles or something.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s amazing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, the insurance agent would show up at our house just weeping.\u00a0 He\u2019d just be weeping.\u00a0 \u201cWould you write me another check please?\u00a0 You\u2019re going to have wrecks.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Those insurance companies love us.\u00a0 I mean, I have\u2014actually, now, they are ages 16 to 22.\u00a0 We have five kids\u2014three of them biological, two we brought in imported from Russia a number of years ago when they were ages 12 and nine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 I hope to find out more about that.\u00a0 Explain to our listeners what Family First is and how <em>All Pro Dad,<\/em> and this book you\u2019ve written, are a part of what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Family First is a national, non-profit organization established in 1991.\u00a0 So, we\u2019re just about 21 years old, if I\u2019m doing my math right.\u00a0 We have three programs.\u00a0 One is called <em>All Pro <\/em>Dad\u2014that we\u2019re going to talk about a little bit more today.\u00a0 We have <em>iMOM<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, which is a program for mothers, and then, the <em>Family Minute<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> daily radio feature, which is heard on about 350 mostly mainstream stations, actually, across the country.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>, of course, is a division of Family First.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve got a simulcast that is coming up in August.\u00a0 Share with our listeners who might want to be a part of that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we have a really neat simulcast that will be simulcast to hundreds of churches, all across the country.\u00a0 We\u2019re doing it in conjunction with LifeWay<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 Tony Dungy is going to be a key component of that, and we\u2019ll have other NFL<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> players and coaches.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be doing that from the Indianapolis Colts<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> facility.\u00a0 We are really fired up about that.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s going to be a neat thing that will impact a lot of dads and their kids.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s not just for dads.\u00a0 It\u2019s an interactive simulcast where dads and kids will all be participating.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, are there football drills involved?\u00a0 Are there going to be passing routes run or what?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 We are going to do a lot of drills; but at the same time, we are going to teach them biblically-based life lessons that they can actually implement in their homes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve got a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com if folks want to find out more about the simulcast event and what\u2019s going on with <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This book that you\u2019ve written, <em>All Pro Dad: Seven Essentials to Be a Hero to Your Kids<\/em>, really came out of a deficit in your life, with your father.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019ll tell you.\u00a0 My dad is this incredible guy.\u00a0 I really think he could have been President of the United States.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way I look at him.\u00a0 I love him.\u00a0 We have an incredible relationship and actually, always have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHowever, ever since I can remember, he was an alcoholic.\u00a0 Anyone with alcoholism in their family\u2019s life knows that that can cause a lot of pain, not only to the individual but also the family, as well.\u00a0 Also, what comes out of it is\u2014as you guys very well know\u2014there are a lot of lies and deception associated\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014with that alcoholism.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s very, very important for us to understand that and realize that out of that pain in our lives can come an incredible passion\u2014a passion that we can pour out into the lives of other people.\u00a0 So, what that did for me, Dennis and Bob, is that pain caused me to really be a man who cares about truth, who cares about ultimate truth.\u00a0 So, really, I see my role, in our culture today, as being a truth warrior\u2014spreading the word about truth for marriages\u2014as you guys do\u2014truth for parenting and truth for life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What did your dad lie about?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, there was\u2014it was constant\u2014things going on in our home.\u00a0 Lying about drinking, about smoking, about where he was, what he was doing.\u00a0 It was an ongoing thing and very challenging.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You couldn\u2019t trust him, then?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it was a trust factor.\u00a0 So, I found in my life, Dennis\u2014that I\u2019ve had to learn how to really trust people.\u00a0 It\u2019s a struggle even today about really, really trusting in people, ultimately.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, having said that, I always want to make sure I strive to honor my mom and my dad, even through all of this.\u00a0 Like I said, he and I have this incredible relationship.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s this love relationship that we\u2019ve had all these years that has been a great blessing to me; but that also doesn\u2019t do away with the pain we experience.\u00a0 Again, we can sit here and talk about how we\u2019re victims of what occurred in our lives; or we can take that pain and move it into a passion\u2014a passion to love and lead other people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The fact that you\u2019re transparent about your dad\u2019s alcoholism in your book would be an indication that there\u2019s been a lot of healing take place over the years and a turning point for him, where he\u2019s turned away from what was his pattern of the past?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It\u2019s really neat to see what\u2019s occurred in his life, and he is doing very well now.\u00a0 He\u2019s 82 years old.\u00a0 He and I just went swimming, and went into the Jacuzzi just a couple of weeks ago, and spent a lot of time together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven during those years, we spent time together.\u00a0 I mean, he was a really amazing philosophical, deep guy who I spent a lot of time with, just talking to and talking about very important things of life; but he had this struggle\u2014he had this addiction and this real challenge that caused a lot of pain and difficulty in his life and in our family\u2019s life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You write throughout the book how Susan is kind of the truth teller in your relationship.\u00a0 In fact, I was going, \u201cMan, Susan is\u2014she\u2019s a tough cookie.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m not the only one married to a strong, strong woman; but she doesn\u2019t mind correcting you and doesn\u2019t mind pointing out things that you\u2019re doing with your kids, or with her, that are really not according to the Scriptures.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShare with women how she\u2019s earned the right to be able to speak that truth into your life because I imagine right now we have some men who can identify with your background and some women who are married to men who grew up in a background like that.\u00a0 Those women are going, \u201cHow do I relate to my husband who came out of this alcoholic background?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 I really do think it boils down to the word, \u201clove\u201d.\u00a0 Now, we can think of this word, love, as being something trite and, \u201cOh, that sounds great, but how do I apply that to my life?\u201d\u00a0 Really, love, as Christ demonstrates that unfailing love to us, is really strong; and it\u2019s courageous.\u00a0 It\u2019s doing what\u2019s best for the other person, no matter what it costs me personally.\u00a0 It\u2019s all about giving selflessly and sacrificially to the other person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, how that applies in our lives, and in my wife\u2019s life and relationship to me, is that she loves me.\u00a0 I know that she wants what\u2019s best for me and what\u2019s best for our family.\u00a0 She has earned the right to speak that truth into my life.\u00a0 So, if I am running over her or doing something I shouldn\u2019t be doing, she has earned the right to just speak it bluntly into my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think anybody who is a guy like me, who is that Type-A personality\u2014you could run over your wife.\u00a0 If that wife isn\u2019t careful, she can just sit down and take it; but fortunately, she stood up.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You tell a story, early in your book, about how she came to you about your relationship with your son, Marky, and how she really watched you relate to him and how you were showing disapproval and correcting him.\u00a0 Share that story with our listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Dennis, in my walk to be an <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>\u2014I\u2019m always striving an <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>, but I\u2019m never really arriving.\u00a0 All my life, I\u2019ve really studied this stuff and learned about it; and I\u2019ve done my very best to really implement it.\u00a0 So, my words were conveying to him, \u201cHey, Marky, I love you, no matter what.\u00a0 I love you unconditionally;\u201d but when he would say things or do things, my look and my tone of voice would demonstrate disapproval to him, rather than approval.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we need to show our love unconditionally to our kids\u2014that we love them no matter what\u2014not only with our words but also with our behavior, our tone of voice, and our actions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And Susan pointed that out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 She pointed that out, and she is excellent at pointing these kind of things out to me.\u00a0 Dennis, I know you\u2019ve had that blessing of\u2014from the\u201d junior\u201d Holy Spirit, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I\u2019m just curious.\u00a0 The first time your wife kind of steps up and confronts you on something\u2014that can be a little threatening\u2014can cause a guy to get angry or to pull back.\u00a0 How did you respond when she started speaking truth to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think, Bob, that one thing that we can do\u2014our reaction can be one of two or three things.\u00a0 It can be either a very defensive posture, where we say, \u201cLook, don\u2019t talk to me that way.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to listen to what you have to say;\u201d or it can be\u2014again, \u201cShe\u2019s earned the right to say those things to me.\u00a0 She\u2019s earned my trust.\u00a0 So, I\u2019m going to listen to her when she says those kinds of things to me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You scooted by a word that you used to describe Susan, and you said she was courageous.\u00a0 We, generally, don\u2019t think of love being courageous; but it really is.\u00a0 I think wives need to realize your words can really build up your husband.\u00a0 You can say these things to your husband as long as he knows\u2014what you said Susan did, which is, \u201cShe believes in me.\u00a0 She loves me unconditionally.\u00a0 I know she\u2019s looking out for my best interest.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s important for a wife to do that with an attitude of respect, with an attitude of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014honor for her husband.\u00a0 Otherwise, she\u2019s just nagging him; but if he knows, \u201cShe\u2019s on my team.\u00a0 She really does love me,\u201d then, he can hear that a whole lot better than if he just feels like he\u2019s getting pummeled by her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014all the time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 If she has consistently made those deposits into his account and really shown him that love in his life, then, she will have earned the right to say those things and do those things as it relates to her husband.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mark, I\u2019m just curious about when family and fatherhood, in particular, came on the screen for you as your life\u2019s mission because you could have gone in a lot of different directions; but at some point, you said, \u201cThis is what I\u2019m going to invest my life in.\u201d\u00a0 How did that happen?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it was kind of neat.\u00a0 I really had a passion for family a lot of my life because, even through those challenging years, my mom and dad always talked about the importance of family.\u00a0 My mom and dad stayed together\u2014are still married, even after all those years.\u00a0 Their marriage is still challenging, but they\u2019ve stuck it out.\u00a0 They\u2019ve stayed together for well over half a century, and that\u2019s an amazing thing.\u00a0 They taught me that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI realized that family is, ultimately, the most important thing, other than our relationship with Christ.\u00a0 That\u2019s how God uses the family to carry on our faith, in many ways, from generation to generation.\u00a0 So, the neat the thing that occurred in my life is right before Susan and I got married.\u00a0 We had been seriously dating.\u00a0 I knew family was important; and she did, too.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing that she said to me\u2014she said, \u201cHey, Mark, before we get more serious, let\u2019s do this weekend conference.\u201d\u00a0 It was with a couple of our friends.\u00a0 I was like, \u201cAlright.\u201d\u00a0 She had already earned that trust in my life.\u00a0 It was like, \u201cOkay, I don\u2019t know what this is, but I\u2019m willing to go.\u00a0 Sure, sounds good.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe flew up to Atlanta, and we went for this incredible weekend.\u00a0 This guy named Dennis Rainey and another guy named Crawford Loritts were in this big hotel, and they were doing this <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You stumbled in as a single guy, not even engaged?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m a single guy!\u00a0 I walk in and all of a sudden\u2014it may have been you Dennis\u2014\u201cEverybody raise their hand\u2014who is married.\u201d\u00a0 Of course, 95 percent to 99 percent of the people in the audience raised their hand.\u00a0 \u201cOkay, who else is just engaged?\u201d\u00a0 You know the rest of the people raised their hands.\u00a0 Then, there\u2019s me and maybe a couple of other people\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and Susan, by the way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who else?!\u00a0 And Susan.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 And Susan, by the way.\u00a0 We raise our hands.\u00a0 I\u2019m looking around; and I\u2019m going, \u201cOkay, I get it.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what we\u2019re doing.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You married an aggressive woman; didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hey, it was an incredible weekend, though.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She calf-roped you into going to a marriage conference\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014as a single.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hey, and I even went to a couple of those same weekends after that time.\u00a0 So, that\u2019s how impressive it was.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to know when you moved from being a victim to being responsible.\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting how God turns our wounds of the past into what my friend, Dan Gerald, calls, \u201choly scars.\u201d\u00a0 You know they heal, but there is still a wound.\u00a0 You can\u2019t dismiss the wound of what your father did.\u00a0 When did you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me say it like this\u2014I have to tell you, Dennis and Bob, I really never saw myself as a victim.\u00a0 I saw this as a war\u2014that we\u2019re in this serious battle\u2014even at a young age, I realized it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy dad\u2019s dad was an alcoholic.\u00a0 He died when my dad was only nine years old.\u00a0 So, my dad was rudderless in many ways, in terms of his father.\u00a0 A lot of these things relating to fathers and fatherhood, as you know, are generational.\u00a0 They\u2019re cyclical until someone decides they are going to stand up, they are going to be courageous, they\u2019re going to stand strong, by the grace of God, and they\u2019re going to do something about it to change that cycle.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I saw it as, \u201cThis is something that God is doing in my life\u201d\u2014and that doesn\u2019t take away from\u2014that there were wounds.\u00a0 There are scars there; but I said, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I\u2019m going to do something about this.\u00a0 This is no longer going to be a part of our family generation.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was that conviction something that was born in you, even before you got married?\u00a0 I mean, did you head into marriage thinking, \u201cWe\u2019re going to make this different than the background I grew up in\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it was very important to me, not only to break that cycle of alcoholism, but also to break that cycle of not having a mom and dad who were really intimately in love and had an incredible marriage\u2014that was very important to me, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Working on the same page, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 My wife, also\u2014she came from a family where her parents were divorced when she was in college.\u00a0 So, she\u2014we both had to work through those challenges in our lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, at what point did it move from being a personal conviction to something that you said, \u201cI\u2019m going to make this the mission of my life\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob and Dennis, I really don\u2019t know when that occurred exactly; but I kind of felt God\u2019s prompting in the late 80\u2019s\u2014actually, around the time when we had gone to your marriage conference.\u00a0 I was kind of\u2014there was a spark in me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tActually, I remember, even at that marriage conference, going in afterwards, into a room where they were talking to people about possibly being involved as missionaries for FamilyLife.\u00a0 My wife and I went there and talked to some people about it.\u00a0 I kind of felt this prompting that there is more for us than just what I was doing.\u00a0 At the time, I was practicing law.\u00a0 Of course, now, I\u2019m a recovering attorney.\u00a0 I was doing real estate law at the time but realized that there was going to be some changes in my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you actually went to a staff opportunities meeting for FamilyLife and were disobedient to God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 We were disobedient to God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You should have been on this staff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, \u201cFather\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You could be running this thing now.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014forgive me for my iniquity.\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hear the passion in your heart, Mark, and I\u2019ve seen your work over the past\u2014well, more than two decades\u2014calling men to step up.\u00a0 You really want to equip men to be responsible husbands, but to be the kind of father that is engaged\u2014is purposeful.\u00a0 You wrap your whole book\u2014I really like kind of the outline of your book: \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u201cKnow Your Makeup\u2014Who Am I?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0 Know Your Mindset\u2014What\u2019s My Purpose?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0 Know Your Motive\u2014Why Do I Do What I Do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0 Know Your Method\u2014How Can I Love Others?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0 Know You\u2019re a Model\u2014What Should I Model to Others?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0 Know Your Message\u2014What Do I Need to Share with Others? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0\u00a0 Know Your Master\u2014Who or What Am I Living for?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s one last assignment I have for you.\u00a0 I want you to just hang around here.\u00a0 I want Bob to kind of share some of the details here about your book, and what\u2019s going on with your simulcast, and something we\u2019ve got coming, as well; but hang with me for just a second because I\u2019ve got a unique assignment for you, here, at the end of the broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you get ready for that assignment, let me let listeners know, first of all, that <em>All Pro Dad <\/em>has a national simulcast coming up in August with Coach Tony Dungy and NFL players.\u00a0 It\u2019s designed for dads and sons.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to the <em>All Pro Dad<\/em> website, where you can get more information about this upcoming, national simulcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe same month, we are doing our Stepping UpNational Men\u2019s Simulcast.\u00a0 That\u2019s taking place Saturday, August 4<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 It originates in Chicago.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be hosted by churches all around the country and, actually, around the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCrawford Loritts, Robert Lewis, James MacDonald, Dennis Rainey\u2014all speaking at that event.\u00a0 It\u2019s a four-hour, Saturday event designed as a kickoff event, a rally event, for men this fall.\u00a0 There is more information available about the Stepping Up National Men\u2019s Simulcast on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014just click the link you find when you get there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is also information about the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series that FamilyLife is putting together, which will be available for use this fall.\u00a0 You can find out more about that when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link you see; or if you need more information about either the video series or the national men\u2019s simulcast, call 1-800-FL-TODAY\u2014that\u2019s 1-800-358-6329\u2014and ask about it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile you\u2019re on our website, we\u2019ve got information about Mark Merrill\u2019s new book, <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0 You can order that from us, if you would like.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Look for the information on the book, <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>, as well as other resources available for fathers in time for Father\u2019s Day.\u00a0 Again, the website, FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, finally, I wanted to let you know if you don\u2019t already have a copy of Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>, we\u2019re making that book available, this month, to those of you who can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour financial support makes this daily radio program possible.\u00a0 You keep us on the air, not only on this station, but on our website 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, all around the world.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\u00a0 Again, when you make a donation this month, you can receive a copy of <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, and click the link that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, and fill out the online donation form there, we\u2019ll automatically send you a copy of Dennis\u2019 book; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 You can make a donation over the phone and just ask for a copy of the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>, when you call.\u00a0 Again, we are so grateful for your partnership with us, here, in the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate you joining with us in your financial support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve been talking today to Mark Merrill, author of <em>All Pro Dad<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about your father and how, even though he was an alcoholic and was not trustworthy when you were a boy, how he really repented of that.\u00a0 He stayed married\u2014he and your mom\u2014and you mentioned that you\u2019ve really tried to honor your dad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of our listeners who listen regularly know that from time to time, Mark, I\u2019ll turn to a guest, like you; and I\u2019ll say, \u201cMark, what I want to do right now is leave the studio.\u00a0 I want to seat your dad across the table from you.\u00a0 I want to give you 120 seconds to speak to your dad and to honor him for what he did do right and the impact that he\u2019s had in your life.\u201d\u00a0 Would you do that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mark:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019d love to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad, I love you.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always loved you.\u00a0 No matter what has happened in our lives, I\u2019ve always loved you through all the challenges, through all the pain, through all the difficulty.\u00a0 Nothing has changed my love for you.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always known that you loved me.\u00a0 You are an incredible man.\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019ve told you many times I think you could have been the President of the United States.\u00a0 People love you.\u00a0 You have awesome gifts, and you are valuable because of who you are.\u00a0 You were made by God and for God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDad, you have taught me so many things.\u00a0 Even in the midst of all this, you\u2019ve taught me the importance of family; you\u2019ve taught me the importance of a relationship between a father and his son; you\u2019ve even taught me the importance of marriage, even through all of your struggles; you\u2019ve taught me a love for the outdoors.\u00a0 For all those things, I\u2019m very grateful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd one thing that I\u2019ll never forget that you\u2019ve taught me, as well, is how to persevere\u2014how to persevere through all the pain that all of us experience in our lives and how, ultimately, to look to God for the ultimate solutions.\u00a0 I love you, Dad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302536"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302536"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302536"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302536"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}