{"id":302535,"date":"2012-06-06T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-06-06T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/discipline-and-reproof\/"},"modified":"2012-06-06T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-06-06T15:00:00","slug":"discipline-and-reproof","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/discipline-and-reproof\/","title":{"rendered":"Discipline and Reproof"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>As a young man raised by a single mother, Voddie knew what it was like to push the boundaries.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-06-06.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.41M","filesize_raw":"26646127","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2837],"tags":[4350,4698],"podcast_series":[7877],"cwp_profile":[8805],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302535","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fathers","tag-character","tag-manhood","podcast_series-family-shepherds","cwp_profile-voddie-baucham","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302535\/discipline-and-reproof","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302535\/discipline-and-reproof","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"8iTNF1tU2g\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/discipline-and-reproof\/\">Discipline and Reproof<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/discipline-and-reproof\/embed\/#?secret=8iTNF1tU2g\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Discipline and Reproof&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"8iTNF1tU2g\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-06-06.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-06-06.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie Baucham says fathers need to recognize that before they ever get involved in doing corrective discipline with their children, they need to first be involved with formative discipline.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Formative discipline\u2014that\u2019s those things that we do to instruct our children\u2014to teach our children.\u00a0 That\u2019s one that we often miss.\u00a0 We don\u2019t take the time to disciple our children.\u00a0 Again, disciple and discipline\u2014they come from the same root word.\u00a0 We don\u2019t take the time for formative discipline and all we do is just sort of jump all over them when they do things wrong.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the way that the Bible calls us to raise our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, June 6<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Voddie Baucham joins us today to give us a refresher course on effective discipline for dads.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking this week about family shepherds\u2014dads being the shepherds of their families.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ve been thinking about that familiar psalm about a shepherd:\u00a0 \u201cThe Lord is my shepherd,\u201d and all of the things that a shepherd does in terms of leading you beside still waters, where you can get a drink, and taking you to \u201cthe green pastures\u201d, where you can be fed, and then about getting out the rod and the staff, when that\u2019s needed.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And comforting with the rod and the staff; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There really is a lot of imagery there for us, as dads, in terms of what our responsibilities are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I want to take a moment, here at the beginning of the broadcast, to talk to the single-parent moms who are listening to these broadcasts and going, \u201cWhat\u2019s the hope for me because we don\u2019t have a dad who is a family shepherd of our home?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason I want our guest to speak about this is because he grew up in a single-parent family.\u00a0 Voddie Baucham joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Voddie, welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you; thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie is a pastor, an author of a number of books, and a father of seven.\u00a0 How many are adopted, again?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Five.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Five adopted.\u00a0 He\u2019s got a huge heart for adoption.\u00a0 He has written a book called <em>Family Shepherds<\/em>.\u00a0 It is subtitled: <em>Calling and Equipping Men to Lead Their Homes<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did growing up without a family shepherd in your home\u2014is that one of the things that led you to have a desire for this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s one of the things that started that trajectory for me; yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what did your mom do?\u00a0 I mean, she didn\u2019t have anybody to lean into to help her little boy\u2014who grew up to be a pretty big body [Laughter]\u2014get pointed in the right direction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 My mother is all of five foot four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Since radio is radio\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re all of six foot what?\u00a0 Six foot five?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m all of six foot three\u2013plus.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Six foot three; should we go ahead and give how much you can bench, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to scare people.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie; Voddie, you already do scare people, buddy.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So here\u2019s your little mom and her big son\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did she keep you in line?\u00a0 How did she shepherd you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, my mother was a terror.\u00a0\u00a0 I was more afraid of my mother than anybody that I knew.\u00a0 You know that line from Bill Cosby, \u201cI brought you into this world; I can take you out!\u201d?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I <em>so <\/em>believed my mother when she said that to me.\u00a0 I believe that she loved me with every fiber of my being; and that if push came to shove, and she had to do it, she\u2019d take me out and bury me in the backyard!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut my mother was not a believer.\u00a0 She was a practicing Buddhist, but my mother was absolutely committed to her son.\u00a0 She pulled double-duty, like a lot of women have to do.\u00a0 You mentioned earlier that issue of addressing single mothers, and so on, and so forth.\u00a0 There\u2019s an appendix at the end of this book.\u00a0 Again, the book is about equipping fathers to lead their homes.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t\u2014I just can\u2019t\u2014write this book without at least speaking to that issue of single mothers, even though that\u2019s not the direction of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree things:\u00a0 One is I always want to remind people that God is able.\u00a0 My presence here is just a testimony to that fact.\u00a0 God is able.\u00a0 God is bigger than fatherlessness.\u00a0 He is a Father to the fatherless.\u00a0 The second thing is\u2014back to what we\u2019ve talked about\u2014the idea of Titus 1 and Titus 2\u2014that three-pronged approach\u2014that we have godly mature men and women in the church, godly manly elders in the church, and then biblically- functioning homes.\u00a0 I think single mothers need to recognize that God has not left them alone.\u00a0 There are godly, mature father figures, if you will, in the church\u2014both pastoral and godly mature men in the church.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s extremely important.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thing\u2014that I talk about in the appendix, actually\u2014is the importance of that network that a single mom has and the network, in her family, that she has.\u00a0 My mother got that.\u00a0 My mother had a big brother.\u00a0 Again, when I got old enough to find a little trouble in L.A., we got on a Greyhound bus for about three days and went from Los Angeles to Buford, South Carolina, where I lived for a little over a year with her oldest brother, who was a retired drill instructor in the Marine Corps\u2014who had done two and a half tours in Vietnam\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She pulled you out of the bad company that corrupts good morals?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, from bad company to a \u201cbad\u201d man!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 And I got out of trouble.\u00a0 Again, that was my mother, as a single mother, looking at her son and saying, \u201cHe needs something.\u00a0 Where do I have a resource?\u00a0 Where is there a man?\u201d\u00a0 She found her brother.\u00a0 I encourage single moms to look around them.\u00a0 Single moms know this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 They know that they have to find those other resources and lean on those other resources.\u00a0 I said three things, but I\u2019ll go ahead and give you four.\u00a0 The fourth one is for single moms not to be discouraged and lose hope.\u00a0 There\u2019s a tendency for single moms always to focus on what they <em>don\u2019t <\/em>have and what they <em>can\u2019t <\/em>give.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 There was one family and one family only who was ever a non-dysfunctional family (excuse the double negative).\u00a0 That was Adam and Eve, and they invented \u201cdysfunction.\u201d\u00a0 Everybody\u2014everybody, everybody, everybody\u2014is raised in an imperfect, dysfunctional home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I want to do is something that is easy for me to do\u2014and you may say, \u201cNo, we can\u2019t do that, Dennis.\u201d\u00a0 I want to give single moms a copy of that last chapter in your book.\u00a0 I want to make it available, online, if we can get permission from you and the publisher.\u00a0 Would you agree to do that?\u00a0 To put it so they can access it and read that last chapter to provide some hope?\u00a0 I think, today\u2014you think of any group of people who needs hope and encouragement\u2014it\u2019s that group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, did he just put me on the spot and ask me if I\u2019m willing to give something to single mothers?\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes; so what are you going to say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just checking.\u00a0 I\u2019m just checking to see if that happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That happened!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 And Keith is looking out there, as an engineer, going, \u201cThere, he did it again.\u00a0 Dennis and Bob have found a fresh way to offend their guest.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to ask you about <em>Family Shepherds <\/em>and the rod and the staff.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got the shepherd\u2019s crook on the front of the book.\u00a0 Talk about the shepherding role as it applies to discipline in the home.\u00a0 What\u2019s dad\u2019s job when it comes to being the disciplinarian, and how does that fit into the whole picture of shepherding?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, in that section of the book, I make sure to talk about\u2014there are three chapters in that section.\u00a0 One section goes back to the Gospel and our understanding of the nature and extent of the Fall.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to understand what our children\u2019s real problem is.\u00a0 Your child\u2019s problem is not that they have a bad environment.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that they have bad examples.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that they have\u2014your child\u2019s problem is a sin problem; okay?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 God created a pristine man, and a perfect environment, with perfect surroundings, and that man fell into sin; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s an internal issue.\u00a0 So, we have to understand the nature and extent of the Fall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me just interrupt you here because you may have one child who is very compliant and another child who is a strong-willed, push-back kid.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying both of them have the same sin problem?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Both of them have the same sin problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even though they have different temperaments and personalities?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\u00a0 And worry about the compliant one because the compliant one oftentimes doesn\u2019t get enough attention and formative discipline\u2014or corrective discipline\u2014because they\u2019re compliant and make your life easier.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talk about the nature of the Fall, and then we talk about formative discipline\u2014formative discipline\u2014that\u2019s those things that we do to instruct our children\u2014to teach our children.\u00a0 That\u2019s one that we often miss.\u00a0 We don\u2019t take the time to disciple our children.\u00a0 Again, \u201cdisciple\u201d and \u201cdiscipline\u201d\u2014they come from the same root word.\u00a0 We don\u2019t take the time for formative discipline and all we do is just sort of jump all over them when they do things wrong.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the way that the Bible calls us to raise our children\u2014 \u201cbring them up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I talk about corrective discipline and the ways that we correct our children when we come up against that rebellion to the formative discipline.\u00a0 All of those things have to be kept in balance for a shepherd to shepherd in that regard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, when our kids were little, one of the things that we used to do\u2014and we didn\u2019t do this all of the time\u2014but I remember doing it.\u00a0 It was kind of a fun thing to do.\u00a0 We would play a little game where my two-year-old or three-year-old would be over playing with his things.\u00a0 I would say, \u201cLet\u2019s play the obey game.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to say, \u2018Jimmy, come here.\u2019\u00a0 I said, \u2018The first time, you just ignore me, okay?\u00a0 Then, the second time, you say, \u2018Okay, Daddy,\u2019 and you come running; okay?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d play the game.\u00a0 \u201cJimmy, come here\u201d and he\u2019d just keep playing.\u00a0 He would smile because he was playing the game; right?\u00a0 I would say, \u201cOh, Jimmy, no, you need to come here.\u201d\u00a0 The second time he would say, \u201cOkay, Daddy!\u201d\u00a0 He would jump up and come running.\u00a0 \u201cYeah!\u00a0 Jimmy obeyed!\u00a0 Way to go, son!\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d give him a big hug.\u00a0 \u201cDo you want to play it again?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes, I want to play it again!\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s formative discipline; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it is.\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re just instructing them, at a very simple age, on, \u201cHere\u2019s how you ought to respond.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You make a game out of it.\u00a0 They like playing, but it\u2019s teaching them an important lesson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we understand this in every other area of our children\u2019s lives, but not in that area.\u00a0 We wouldn\u2019t run out in the backyard with our son and say, \u201cOkay, son, throw me a curve ball.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 We just wouldn\u2019t do that; but when it comes to them learning how to obey and do the things that we require of them, we just treat them like they\u2019re supposed to know it automatically.\u00a0 When the fact is\u2014when you understand the nature and extent of the Fall, the opposite is true.\u00a0 What\u2019s automatic is their rebellion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most of us are better at teaching our kids how to throw a curve ball, a knuckle ball, a change-up, etc., than at addressing the needs of their soul.\u00a0 You quote a Puritan author by the name of Cotton Mather who said this, \u201cDo you not know that your children have precious and immortal souls within them?\u00a0 They are not all flesh.\u00a0 You who are the parents of their flesh must know that your children have spirits also.\u201d\u00a0 Our children are immortal beings.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019re going to last for eternity\u2014somewhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So as we give birth to them and bring these immortal beings onto the planet, they must be guided.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 They must be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what formative discipline is all about.\u00a0 If I asked you for a snapshot of when Voddie Baucham stepped up to the plate in his family of seven children\u2014this could have been last week, it could have been last year, it could have been ten years ago\u2014you\u2019ve got seven kids.\u00a0 You had a moment when you just felt the pleasure of God\u2014you said, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I did it.\u00a0 I had some formative discipline of my kids, right there.\u201d\u00a0 What snapshot would you pull up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the snapshot I pull up.\u00a0 I pull up one of my children, whose name I won\u2019t mention.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Protect the guilty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve had several of those children on our broadcast here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Young boy\u2014he\u2019s one of our youngest\u2014one of our younger children\u2014so, he\u2019s under seven.\u00a0 He comes in, and he\u2019s done something he\u2019s not supposed to do.\u00a0 That happens so frequently in my home that I don\u2019t remember which thing it was.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe comes in and he\u2019s about to be disciplined\u2014there\u2019s about to be some corrective discipline applied\u2014the rod of education to the seat of understanding.\u00a0 I look at him and ask him, \u201cDo you understand what you did and why what you did was wrong?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cCan you explain that to me?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, what happened?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just a sinner, and I just need to be saved!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I just looked at him and I said, \u201cYou\u2019re okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you bust out in a smile at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what\u2014not while he was looking!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know exactly what you\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 There have been those moments with our kids when you bite your lip.\u00a0 You have to look away!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just a rotten sinner and I need to be saved.\u201d\u00a0 Well, yes, there you have it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He got it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He got it!\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about the other side of discipline, though, the corrective side.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because there are times that \u201cthe board of education\u201d gets used?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Oh, yes!\u00a0 Sometimes we feel like that\u2019s all that is happening with seven kids around the house.\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 We have to understand that that\u2019s not where we <em>start<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s not our only tool.\u00a0 When you don\u2019t have formative discipline and when you believe that spanking your children is your only tool, what is the old proverb?\u00a0 \u201cTo the man whose only tool is a hammer, everything appears to be a nail.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 So if you feel like the only tool that you have is spanking your children, then there\u2019s no formative discipline that happens\u2014it\u2019s all corrective.\u00a0 That does a couple of things.\u00a0 One of the things it does, though, is it causes the corrective discipline to lose its significance in that child\u2019s mind because it\u2019s the only thing that ever happens.\u00a0 It\u2019s not something that signifies a certain level of rebellion for the child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what else do you do if it\u2019s not all spanking?\u00a0 What else is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you\u2019ve got the formative discipline; but you also have, for example, reproof.\u00a0 There are times when you reprove your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What does that look like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your children are doing something and basically you identify the sin that is being committed\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and you point them to what the Bible says about that sin.\u00a0 You are offering a word of warning from God\u2019s Word.\u00a0 \u201cHere is what the Bible says about that sin and here\u2019s what the Bible says you can expect when you are following along in that vein.\u201d\u00a0 So there is that reproof that allows our children to see the weightiness of their sin and calls them to correction that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things I did for Barbara\u2014again, practically speaking.\u00a0 When you\u2019re in the moment, you don\u2019t always think clearly as what you\u2019re articulating right now, Voddie.\u00a0 I mean, you admitted that in an earlier broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You got ticked off at your kids, and you were in need of reading James 4.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as we all are.\u00a0 I took a 3x5 card with Barbara.\u00a0 I sat down and I listed what are our alternatives when it comes to corrective discipline of our kids\u2014and the consequences.\u00a0 What I would do is just take what you\u2019re talking about here and just write them out:\u00a0 \u201cReproof\u201d\u2014and pointing out the ultimate culprit in the problem that you\u2019re facing.\u00a0 Then, make a list of options, other than corporal punishment, as a way to discipline your child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious, if you come in the back door and your wife says to you, \u201cYou need to have a word with your son.\u00a0 Let me tell you what he did this afternoon.\u201d\u00a0 She tells you and now you have to go sit down\u2014it\u2019s been a couple of hours since he did it.\u00a0 Just walk me through what\u2019s going to happen when you go into his room, where he\u2019s been banished because of his behavior.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Now, you show up.\u00a0 What are you going to do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, again, usually what we\u2019re talking about in that instance\u2014we\u2019re not doing a banishment there\u2014but it may be a time where I have to come in with the child and the child has to debrief.\u00a0 The child has to tell me what happened.\u00a0 What I want is\u2014I want the child to explain to me what happened; but then, I want to see if the child can take it a step further, based on their formative discipline and explain to me <em>why <\/em>it\u2019s happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCan you get that?\u00a0 We don\u2019t want to just deal with the fruit; we want to deal with the root.\u00a0 If they can, praise God!\u00a0 If they can\u2019t, then we sort of help them get to the root of why it happened.\u00a0 Then we talk to them about the consequences of their behavior.\u00a0 We talk to them about my responsibility as their parent.\u00a0 We talk to them about the rod of correction and why God has given the rod of correction to us as parents.\u00a0 Then, we apply the rod of correction\u2014the child is spanked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter the child is spanked\u2014you know, there are the weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth\u2014but not in a rebellious sense\u2014because you can even rebel in the way you cry after your spanking or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes they do!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Then, there\u2019s a debrief about what just happened.\u00a0 There\u2019s a reaffirmation of the love that we have for one another.\u00a0 There\u2019s reconciliation, and hugging, and kissing, and loving.\u00a0 We get ourselves together, and we go back out.\u00a0 Justice has been served, and joy reigns!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m listening to you tell these stories, and I\u2019m thinking about how smart I became by the end.\u00a0 How I wished I\u2019d had this training early on.\u00a0 I know that\u2019s why you wrote this book.\u00a0 You wrote the book to come alongside guys at the beginning as they\u2019re starting this journey of being a father\u2014of being a shepherd to their family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to equip them where they are.\u00a0 There was a moment that was kind of\u2014not a wakeup call because you were already awake\u2014but there was a moment that was an \u201ca-ha\u201d moment.\u00a0 We all have them.\u00a0 The Holy Spirit uses something from an unusual source to kind of go, \u201cDid you get that?\u201d\u00a0 It had to do with listening to a speech\u2014a retirement speech\u2014by one of the President\u2019s men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Colin Powell.\u00a0 I remember when Colin Powell was finally resigning.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s the end of an administration; and it happens.\u00a0 I was just always a Colin Powell fan.\u00a0 I was a fan of his story.\u00a0 As a young, black man, seeing Colin Powell do what he did\u2014the impact that my uncle had on me\u2014that Marine.\u00a0 There were a lot of things that just drew me to Colin Powell and to his story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when he resigned from the administration.\u00a0 What struck me was that he stood there\u2014I guess he was in his mid 60\u2019s.\u00a0 He said that he was leaving to spend time with his family.\u00a0 I was sitting there thinking to myself, \u201cYou missed that.\u00a0 Your family is grown and gone.\u00a0 Now, after your family is grown and gone, you\u2019re going to walk away to spend time with your family?\u00a0 Actually, now\u2019s the time, when your family\u2019s grown and gone, when you can devote yourself fully\u2014you can devote yourself double-time\u2014to whatever the thing is that you want to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just dawned on me.\u00a0 I thought to myself, as a man\u2014at that point, 35 years old\u2014\u201cLord, please, by Your grace, do not let me spend all of my time, effort, and energy here and now, while my children are at home, building something outside of my family; and then after they\u2019re all grown and gone, stepping away and actually making room\u2014when I\u2019ve missed it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s not a knock on Colin Powell.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know his family life.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know it; but I know that in that moment, that\u2019s what struck me because there are so many guys who do that.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When they had an opportunity, they didn\u2019t make the investment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Voddie, you\u2019ve made the investment, not only in your own family, but in the families of your church.\u00a0 You\u2019ve gone beyond that to come on our broadcast numerous times through your books, and through your preaching and teaching, and equip a generation of young men to be those kind of men\u2014those kind of dads.\u00a0 I just appreciate you and look forward to having you back on the broadcast again soon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 As always, thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we need to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to you, as well, for the part that you are playing in the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series that we are putting together.\u00a0 In fact, Voddie is in the series, along with Matt Chandler, and Mark Driscoll, and James MacDonald, Crawford Loritts, Stu Weber, Robert Lewis.\u00a0 Dennis, of course, is in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis video series is going to be available in August, and we\u2019re kicking it off with a National Men\u2019s Simulcast on Saturday, August 4<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Already, churches are signing up to host this event.\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of a kickoff event for men as we get near the fall.\u00a0 It\u2019s a four- hour Saturday simulcast that has James MacDonald, Crawford Loritts, Robert Lewis, and Dennis Rainey, all speaking.\u00a0 It\u2019s live from Chicago and then distributed via simulcast to churches all around the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are interested in more information about the simulcast or about the video series that is coming out this fall, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link you find there to the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> series.\u00a0 Of course, we\u2019ve got information about Voddie\u2019s book, <em>Family Shepherds, <\/em>available online, as well.\u00a0 You can order from us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, the book is called <em>Family Shepherds <\/em>by Voddie Baucham.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order a copy; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this month, we are saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> by making available a copy of Dennis\u2019 book, <em>Stepping Up <\/em>as a thank-you gift for your financial support.\u00a0 <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is listener-supported.\u00a0 The cost associated with producing and then syndicating this radio program is substantial.\u00a0 Those of you who help support the ministry help make all of that possible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou keep this program on this station and on our network of stations, all around the country.\u00a0 Of course, you keep us online at FamilyLifeToday.com, as well.\u00a0 So, when you make a donation this month\u2014you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, we\u2019ll send you a copy of Dennis\u2019 book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u00a0 Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 When you do that, just ask to receive your copy of the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to send it to you.\u00a0 We appreciate your standing with us and supporting this ministry.\u00a0 It\u2019s great to have you as a partner in what God is doing through the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to encourage you to be back with us.\u00a0 Mark Merrill is going to join us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about what dads can do to be All Pro Dads.\u00a0 He heads an organization by that name and has just written a new book called <em>All Pro Dad.<\/em>\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about it tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today\u2014his name is Keith Lynch\u2014and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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a young man raised by a single mother, Voddie knew what it was like to push the boundaries.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-06-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie Baucham says fathers need to recognize that before they ever get involved in doing corrective discipline with their children, they need to first be involved with formative discipline.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Formative discipline\u2014that\u2019s those things that we do to instruct our children\u2014to teach our children.\u00a0 That\u2019s one that we often miss.\u00a0 We don\u2019t take the time to disciple our children.\u00a0 Again, disciple and discipline\u2014they come from the same root word.\u00a0 We don\u2019t take the time for formative discipline and all we do is just sort of jump all over them when they do things wrong.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the way that the Bible calls us to raise our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, June 6<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Voddie Baucham joins us today to give us a refresher course on effective discipline for dads.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking this week about family shepherds\u2014dads being the shepherds of their families.\u00a0\u00a0 I\u2019ve been thinking about that familiar psalm about a shepherd:\u00a0 \u201cThe Lord is my shepherd,\u201d and all of the things that a shepherd does in terms of leading you beside still waters, where you can get a drink, and taking you to \u201cthe green pastures\u201d, where you can be fed, and then about getting out the rod and the staff, when that\u2019s needed.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And comforting with the rod and the staff; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure; sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There really is a lot of imagery there for us, as dads, in terms of what our responsibilities are.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I want to take a moment, here at the beginning of the broadcast, to talk to the single-parent moms who are listening to these broadcasts and going, \u201cWhat\u2019s the hope for me because we don\u2019t have a dad who is a family shepherd of our home?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe reason I want our guest to speak about this is because he grew up in a single-parent family.\u00a0 Voddie Baucham joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Voddie, welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you; thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s good to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie is a pastor, an author of a number of books, and a father of seven.\u00a0 How many are adopted, again?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Five.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Five adopted.\u00a0 He\u2019s got a huge heart for adoption.\u00a0 He has written a book called <em>Family Shepherds<\/em>.\u00a0 It is subtitled: <em>Calling and Equipping Men to Lead Their Homes<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did growing up without a family shepherd in your home\u2014is that one of the things that led you to have a desire for this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s one of the things that started that trajectory for me; yes, absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what did your mom do?\u00a0 I mean, she didn\u2019t have anybody to lean into to help her little boy\u2014who grew up to be a pretty big body [Laughter]\u2014get pointed in the right direction?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 My mother is all of five foot four.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Since radio is radio\u2014[Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re all of six foot what?\u00a0 Six foot five?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m all of six foot three\u2013plus.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Six foot three; should we go ahead and give how much you can bench, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to scare people.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Voddie; Voddie, you already do scare people, buddy.\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So here\u2019s your little mom and her big son\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did she keep you in line?\u00a0 How did she shepherd you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, my mother was a terror.\u00a0\u00a0 I was more afraid of my mother than anybody that I knew.\u00a0 You know that line from Bill Cosby, \u201cI brought you into this world; I can take you out!\u201d?\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I <em>so <\/em>believed my mother when she said that to me.\u00a0 I believe that she loved me with every fiber of my being; and that if push came to shove, and she had to do it, she\u2019d take me out and bury me in the backyard!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut my mother was not a believer.\u00a0 She was a practicing Buddhist, but my mother was absolutely committed to her son.\u00a0 She pulled double-duty, like a lot of women have to do.\u00a0 You mentioned earlier that issue of addressing single mothers, and so on, and so forth.\u00a0 There\u2019s an appendix at the end of this book.\u00a0 Again, the book is about equipping fathers to lead their homes.\u00a0 I just can\u2019t\u2014I just can\u2019t\u2014write this book without at least speaking to that issue of single mothers, even though that\u2019s not the direction of the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThree things:\u00a0 One is I always want to remind people that God is able.\u00a0 My presence here is just a testimony to that fact.\u00a0 God is able.\u00a0 God is bigger than fatherlessness.\u00a0 He is a Father to the fatherless.\u00a0 The second thing is\u2014back to what we\u2019ve talked about\u2014the idea of Titus 1 and Titus 2\u2014that three-pronged approach\u2014that we have godly mature men and women in the church, godly manly elders in the church, and then biblically- functioning homes.\u00a0 I think single mothers need to recognize that God has not left them alone.\u00a0 There are godly, mature father figures, if you will, in the church\u2014both pastoral and godly mature men in the church.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s extremely important.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thing\u2014that I talk about in the appendix, actually\u2014is the importance of that network that a single mom has and the network, in her family, that she has.\u00a0 My mother got that.\u00a0 My mother had a big brother.\u00a0 Again, when I got old enough to find a little trouble in L.A., we got on a Greyhound bus for about three days and went from Los Angeles to Buford, South Carolina, where I lived for a little over a year with her oldest brother, who was a retired drill instructor in the Marine Corps\u2014who had done two and a half tours in Vietnam\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She pulled you out of the bad company that corrupts good morals?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, from bad company to a \u201cbad\u201d man!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 And I got out of trouble.\u00a0 Again, that was my mother, as a single mother, looking at her son and saying, \u201cHe needs something.\u00a0 Where do I have a resource?\u00a0 Where is there a man?\u201d\u00a0 She found her brother.\u00a0 I encourage single moms to look around them.\u00a0 Single moms know this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 They know that they have to find those other resources and lean on those other resources.\u00a0 I said three things, but I\u2019ll go ahead and give you four.\u00a0 The fourth one is for single moms not to be discouraged and lose hope.\u00a0 There\u2019s a tendency for single moms always to focus on what they <em>don\u2019t <\/em>have and what they <em>can\u2019t <\/em>give.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 There was one family and one family only who was ever a non-dysfunctional family (excuse the double negative).\u00a0 That was Adam and Eve, and they invented \u201cdysfunction.\u201d\u00a0 Everybody\u2014everybody, everybody, everybody\u2014is raised in an imperfect, dysfunctional home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I want to do is something that is easy for me to do\u2014and you may say, \u201cNo, we can\u2019t do that, Dennis.\u201d\u00a0 I want to give single moms a copy of that last chapter in your book.\u00a0 I want to make it available, online, if we can get permission from you and the publisher.\u00a0 Would you agree to do that?\u00a0 To put it so they can access it and read that last chapter to provide some hope?\u00a0 I think, today\u2014you think of any group of people who needs hope and encouragement\u2014it\u2019s that group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, did he just put me on the spot and ask me if I\u2019m willing to give something to single mothers?\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes; so what are you going to say?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just checking.\u00a0 I\u2019m just checking to see if that happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That happened!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright!\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 And Keith is looking out there, as an engineer, going, \u201cThere, he did it again.\u00a0 Dennis and Bob have found a fresh way to offend their guest.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve got to ask you about <em>Family Shepherds <\/em>and the rod and the staff.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got the shepherd\u2019s crook on the front of the book.\u00a0 Talk about the shepherding role as it applies to discipline in the home.\u00a0 What\u2019s dad\u2019s job when it comes to being the disciplinarian, and how does that fit into the whole picture of shepherding?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, in that section of the book, I make sure to talk about\u2014there are three chapters in that section.\u00a0 One section goes back to the Gospel and our understanding of the nature and extent of the Fall.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to understand what our children\u2019s real problem is.\u00a0 Your child\u2019s problem is not that they have a bad environment.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that they have bad examples.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that they have\u2014your child\u2019s problem is a sin problem; okay?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 God created a pristine man, and a perfect environment, with perfect surroundings, and that man fell into sin; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s an internal issue.\u00a0 So, we have to understand the nature and extent of the Fall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me just interrupt you here because you may have one child who is very compliant and another child who is a strong-willed, push-back kid.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying both of them have the same sin problem?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Both of them have the same sin problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even though they have different temperaments and personalities?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\u00a0 And worry about the compliant one because the compliant one oftentimes doesn\u2019t get enough attention and formative discipline\u2014or corrective discipline\u2014because they\u2019re compliant and make your life easier.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talk about the nature of the Fall, and then we talk about formative discipline\u2014formative discipline\u2014that\u2019s those things that we do to instruct our children\u2014to teach our children.\u00a0 That\u2019s one that we often miss.\u00a0 We don\u2019t take the time to disciple our children.\u00a0 Again, \u201cdisciple\u201d and \u201cdiscipline\u201d\u2014they come from the same root word.\u00a0 We don\u2019t take the time for formative discipline and all we do is just sort of jump all over them when they do things wrong.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the way that the Bible calls us to raise our children\u2014 \u201cbring them up in the instruction and discipline of the Lord.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I talk about corrective discipline and the ways that we correct our children when we come up against that rebellion to the formative discipline.\u00a0 All of those things have to be kept in balance for a shepherd to shepherd in that regard.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, when our kids were little, one of the things that we used to do\u2014and we didn\u2019t do this all of the time\u2014but I remember doing it.\u00a0 It was kind of a fun thing to do.\u00a0 We would play a little game where my two-year-old or three-year-old would be over playing with his things.\u00a0 I would say, \u201cLet\u2019s play the obey game.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to say, \u2018Jimmy, come here.\u2019\u00a0 I said, \u2018The first time, you just ignore me, okay?\u00a0 Then, the second time, you say, \u2018Okay, Daddy,\u2019 and you come running; okay?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d play the game.\u00a0 \u201cJimmy, come here\u201d and he\u2019d just keep playing.\u00a0 He would smile because he was playing the game; right?\u00a0 I would say, \u201cOh, Jimmy, no, you need to come here.\u201d\u00a0 The second time he would say, \u201cOkay, Daddy!\u201d\u00a0 He would jump up and come running.\u00a0 \u201cYeah!\u00a0 Jimmy obeyed!\u00a0 Way to go, son!\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d give him a big hug.\u00a0 \u201cDo you want to play it again?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes, I want to play it again!\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s formative discipline; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it is.\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re just instructing them, at a very simple age, on, \u201cHere\u2019s how you ought to respond.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You make a game out of it.\u00a0 They like playing, but it\u2019s teaching them an important lesson.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we understand this in every other area of our children\u2019s lives, but not in that area.\u00a0 We wouldn\u2019t run out in the backyard with our son and say, \u201cOkay, son, throw me a curve ball.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, exactly!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 We just wouldn\u2019t do that; but when it comes to them learning how to obey and do the things that we require of them, we just treat them like they\u2019re supposed to know it automatically.\u00a0 When the fact is\u2014when you understand the nature and extent of the Fall, the opposite is true.\u00a0 What\u2019s automatic is their rebellion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most of us are better at teaching our kids how to throw a curve ball, a knuckle ball, a change-up, etc., than at addressing the needs of their soul.\u00a0 You quote a Puritan author by the name of Cotton Mather who said this, \u201cDo you not know that your children have precious and immortal souls within them?\u00a0 They are not all flesh.\u00a0 You who are the parents of their flesh must know that your children have spirits also.\u201d\u00a0 Our children are immortal beings.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019re going to last for eternity\u2014somewhere.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So as we give birth to them and bring these immortal beings onto the planet, they must be guided.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 They must be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what formative discipline is all about.\u00a0 If I asked you for a snapshot of when Voddie Baucham stepped up to the plate in his family of seven children\u2014this could have been last week, it could have been last year, it could have been ten years ago\u2014you\u2019ve got seven kids.\u00a0 You had a moment when you just felt the pleasure of God\u2014you said, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I did it.\u00a0 I had some formative discipline of my kids, right there.\u201d\u00a0 What snapshot would you pull up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the snapshot I pull up.\u00a0 I pull up one of my children, whose name I won\u2019t mention.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Protect the guilty.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve had several of those children on our broadcast here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Young boy\u2014he\u2019s one of our youngest\u2014one of our younger children\u2014so, he\u2019s under seven.\u00a0 He comes in, and he\u2019s done something he\u2019s not supposed to do.\u00a0 That happens so frequently in my home that I don\u2019t remember which thing it was.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe comes in and he\u2019s about to be disciplined\u2014there\u2019s about to be some corrective discipline applied\u2014the rod of education to the seat of understanding.\u00a0 I look at him and ask him, \u201cDo you understand what you did and why what you did was wrong?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cCan you explain that to me?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYes, sir.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWell, what happened?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just a sinner, and I just need to be saved!\u201d\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 I just looked at him and I said, \u201cYou\u2019re okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you bust out in a smile at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what\u2014not while he was looking!\u00a0 [Laughter]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know exactly what you\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 There have been those moments with our kids when you bite your lip.\u00a0 You have to look away!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m just a rotten sinner and I need to be saved.\u201d\u00a0 Well, yes, there you have it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He got it!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He got it!\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about the other side of discipline, though, the corrective side.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because there are times that \u201cthe board of education\u201d gets used?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Oh, yes!\u00a0 Sometimes we feel like that\u2019s all that is happening with seven kids around the house.\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 We have to understand that that\u2019s not where we <em>start<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s not our only tool.\u00a0 When you don\u2019t have formative discipline and when you believe that spanking your children is your only tool, what is the old proverb?\u00a0 \u201cTo the man whose only tool is a hammer, everything appears to be a nail.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 So if you feel like the only tool that you have is spanking your children, then there\u2019s no formative discipline that happens\u2014it\u2019s all corrective.\u00a0 That does a couple of things.\u00a0 One of the things it does, though, is it causes the corrective discipline to lose its significance in that child\u2019s mind because it\u2019s the only thing that ever happens.\u00a0 It\u2019s not something that signifies a certain level of rebellion for the child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what else do you do if it\u2019s not all spanking?\u00a0 What else is it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you\u2019ve got the formative discipline; but you also have, for example, reproof.\u00a0 There are times when you reprove your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What does that look like?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your children are doing something and basically you identify the sin that is being committed\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and you point them to what the Bible says about that sin.\u00a0 You are offering a word of warning from God\u2019s Word.\u00a0 \u201cHere is what the Bible says about that sin and here\u2019s what the Bible says you can expect when you are following along in that vein.\u201d\u00a0 So there is that reproof that allows our children to see the weightiness of their sin and calls them to correction that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things I did for Barbara\u2014again, practically speaking.\u00a0 When you\u2019re in the moment, you don\u2019t always think clearly as what you\u2019re articulating right now, Voddie.\u00a0 I mean, you admitted that in an earlier broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You got ticked off at your kids, and you were in need of reading James 4.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, as we all are.\u00a0 I took a 3x5 card with Barbara.\u00a0 I sat down and I listed what are our alternatives when it comes to corrective discipline of our kids\u2014and the consequences.\u00a0 What I would do is just take what you\u2019re talking about here and just write them out:\u00a0 \u201cReproof\u201d\u2014and pointing out the ultimate culprit in the problem that you\u2019re facing.\u00a0 Then, make a list of options, other than corporal punishment, as a way to discipline your child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious, if you come in the back door and your wife says to you, \u201cYou need to have a word with your son.\u00a0 Let me tell you what he did this afternoon.\u201d\u00a0 She tells you and now you have to go sit down\u2014it\u2019s been a couple of hours since he did it.\u00a0 Just walk me through what\u2019s going to happen when you go into his room, where he\u2019s been banished because of his behavior.\u00a0 [Laughter]\u00a0 Now, you show up.\u00a0 What are you going to do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, again, usually what we\u2019re talking about in that instance\u2014we\u2019re not doing a banishment there\u2014but it may be a time where I have to come in with the child and the child has to debrief.\u00a0 The child has to tell me what happened.\u00a0 What I want is\u2014I want the child to explain to me what happened; but then, I want to see if the child can take it a step further, based on their formative discipline and explain to me <em>why <\/em>it\u2019s happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCan you get that?\u00a0 We don\u2019t want to just deal with the fruit; we want to deal with the root.\u00a0 If they can, praise God!\u00a0 If they can\u2019t, then we sort of help them get to the root of why it happened.\u00a0 Then we talk to them about the consequences of their behavior.\u00a0 We talk to them about my responsibility as their parent.\u00a0 We talk to them about the rod of correction and why God has given the rod of correction to us as parents.\u00a0 Then, we apply the rod of correction\u2014the child is spanked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter the child is spanked\u2014you know, there are the weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth\u2014but not in a rebellious sense\u2014because you can even rebel in the way you cry after your spanking or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes they do!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Then, there\u2019s a debrief about what just happened.\u00a0 There\u2019s a reaffirmation of the love that we have for one another.\u00a0 There\u2019s reconciliation, and hugging, and kissing, and loving.\u00a0 We get ourselves together, and we go back out.\u00a0 Justice has been served, and joy reigns!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m listening to you tell these stories, and I\u2019m thinking about how smart I became by the end.\u00a0 How I wished I\u2019d had this training early on.\u00a0 I know that\u2019s why you wrote this book.\u00a0 You wrote the book to come alongside guys at the beginning as they\u2019re starting this journey of being a father\u2014of being a shepherd to their family\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to equip them where they are.\u00a0 There was a moment that was kind of\u2014not a wakeup call because you were already awake\u2014but there was a moment that was an \u201ca-ha\u201d moment.\u00a0 We all have them.\u00a0 The Holy Spirit uses something from an unusual source to kind of go, \u201cDid you get that?\u201d\u00a0 It had to do with listening to a speech\u2014a retirement speech\u2014by one of the President\u2019s men. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Colin Powell.\u00a0 I remember when Colin Powell was finally resigning.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s the end of an administration; and it happens.\u00a0 I was just always a Colin Powell fan.\u00a0 I was a fan of his story.\u00a0 As a young, black man, seeing Colin Powell do what he did\u2014the impact that my uncle had on me\u2014that Marine.\u00a0 There were a lot of things that just drew me to Colin Powell and to his story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when he resigned from the administration.\u00a0 What struck me was that he stood there\u2014I guess he was in his mid 60\u2019s.\u00a0 He said that he was leaving to spend time with his family.\u00a0 I was sitting there thinking to myself, \u201cYou missed that.\u00a0 Your family is grown and gone.\u00a0 Now, after your family is grown and gone, you\u2019re going to walk away to spend time with your family?\u00a0 Actually, now\u2019s the time, when your family\u2019s grown and gone, when you can devote yourself fully\u2014you can devote yourself double-time\u2014to whatever the thing is that you want to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just dawned on me.\u00a0 I thought to myself, as a man\u2014at that point, 35 years old\u2014\u201cLord, please, by Your grace, do not let me spend all of my time, effort, and energy here and now, while my children are at home, building something outside of my family; and then after they\u2019re all grown and gone, stepping away and actually making room\u2014when I\u2019ve missed it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s not a knock on Colin Powell.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know his family life.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know it; but I know that in that moment, that\u2019s what struck me because there are so many guys who do that.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When they had an opportunity, they didn\u2019t make the investment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Voddie, you\u2019ve made the investment, not only in your own family, but in the families of your church.\u00a0 You\u2019ve gone beyond that to come on our broadcast numerous times through your books, and through your preaching and teaching, and equip a generation of young men to be those kind of men\u2014those kind of dads.\u00a0 I just appreciate you and look forward to having you back on the broadcast again soon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Voddie:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 As always, thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we need to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to you, as well, for the part that you are playing in the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video series that we are putting together.\u00a0 In fact, Voddie is in the series, along with Matt Chandler, and Mark Driscoll, and James MacDonald, Crawford Loritts, Stu Weber, Robert Lewis.\u00a0 Dennis, of course, is in there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis video series is going to be available in August, and we\u2019re kicking it off with a National Men\u2019s Simulcast on Saturday, August 4<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Already, churches are signing up to host this event.\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of a kickoff event for men as we get near the fall.\u00a0 It\u2019s a four- hour Saturday simulcast that has James MacDonald, Crawford Loritts, Robert Lewis, and Dennis Rainey, all speaking.\u00a0 It\u2019s live from Chicago and then distributed via simulcast to churches all around the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you are interested in more information about the simulcast or about the video series that is coming out this fall, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link you find there to the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> series.\u00a0 Of course, we\u2019ve got information about Voddie\u2019s book, <em>Family Shepherds, <\/em>available online, as well.\u00a0 You can order from us at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, the book is called <em>Family Shepherds <\/em>by Voddie Baucham.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY to order a copy; 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd this month, we are saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> by making available a copy of Dennis\u2019 book, <em>Stepping Up <\/em>as a thank-you gift for your financial support.\u00a0 <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is listener-supported.\u00a0 The cost associated with producing and then syndicating this radio program is substantial.\u00a0 Those of you who help support the ministry help make all of that possible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou keep this program on this station and on our network of stations, all around the country.\u00a0 Of course, you keep us online at FamilyLifeToday.com, as well.\u00a0 So, when you make a donation this month\u2014you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d, we\u2019ll send you a copy of Dennis\u2019 book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u00a0 Or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY and make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 When you do that, just ask to receive your copy of the book, <em>Stepping Up<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to send it to you.\u00a0 We appreciate your standing with us and supporting this ministry.\u00a0 It\u2019s great to have you as a partner in what God is doing through the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we want to encourage you to be back with us.\u00a0 Mark Merrill is going to join us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about what dads can do to be All Pro Dads.\u00a0 He heads an organization by that name and has just written a new book called <em>All Pro Dad.<\/em>\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about it tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today\u2014his name is Keith Lynch\u2014and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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