{"id":302517,"date":"2012-05-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-05-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/whats-a-mother-to-do\/"},"modified":"2012-05-04T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-05-04T15:00:00","slug":"whats-a-mother-to-do","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/whats-a-mother-to-do\/","title":{"rendered":"What&#8217;s a Mother to Do?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Raising a daughter can be challenging these days.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-05-04.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.82M","filesize_raw":"23926169","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2836,2855],"tags":[4584],"podcast_series":[7872],"cwp_profile":[3146],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302517","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","category-raising-girls","category-teens","tag-fear","podcast_series-help-wanted-moms-raising-daughters","cwp_profile-darlene-brock","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302517\/whats-a-mother-to-do","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302517\/whats-a-mother-to-do","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"3SHZIKbl0d\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/whats-a-mother-to-do\/\">What&#8217;s a Mother to Do?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/whats-a-mother-to-do\/embed\/#?secret=3SHZIKbl0d\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;What&#8217;s a Mother to Do?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"3SHZIKbl0d\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-05-04.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-05-04.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As a mom raising daughters, how much freedom do you give your girls to make decisions that you may not be crazy about?\u00a0 That\u2019s a dilemma that Darlene Brock faced with one of her girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She had hair, waist-length, in second grade.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI want pink in my hair.\u201d\u00a0 I went, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ll do pink in your hair.\u201d\u00a0 I took the philosophy of, \u201cI\u2019m not going to fight over the things that don\u2019t really matter.\u201d\u00a0 To me, pink hair does not matter.\u00a0 There are much more important things in my daughters\u2019 lives than the color of their hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, May 4<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 When do you let your kids make the decisions; and when do you say, \u201cUh-uh\u201d?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019m just thinking\u2014if we were putting together a help wanted ad for a position here at FamilyLife\u2014said, \u201cHere\u2019s what we\u2019re looking for:\u00a0 We\u2019re looking for somebody who has some experience as a coach.\u00a0 They need to have been a creative counselor.\u00a0 They need to be a media director\u2014looking for somebody who is a professor of gender studies, financial consultant, a communication specialist, a military strategist; and we\u2019d like for them to have some experience as a body guard, as well.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we\u2019d get very many applications\u2014at least not somebody who\u2019s had experience in all those areas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right; but we have, in our midst, one woman who did it all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She did it all perfectly.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019m laughing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s right.\u00a0 Darlene Brock joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Darlene, welcome back.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.\u00a0 Good to be here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Darlene has two adult daughters today. She and her husband Dan have been married since 1978.\u00a0 She\u2019s got an interesting background.\u00a0 She and her husband were pioneers in the Contemporary Christian music industry way back when and became agents for a number of clients who won Grammy\u2019s, Dove Awards\u2014had all kinds of fun doing that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve been to the Grammy Awards ceremony?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, several times.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, so was it cool?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of messy.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Messy?\u00a0 What do you mean messy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 You get a lot of musicians that\u2014it goes to commercial\u2014and they just get messy.\u00a0 That\u2019s all.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We need to go out and see what happens when the commercials are on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we need to find out what really takes place there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 None of mine.\u00a0 None of the bands that we worked with\u2014this was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014just the people sitting around you; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014just\u2014yes, exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Darlene has just finished a book called <em>Help Wanted<\/em>, and it\u2019s about this advertisement here.\u00a0 You\u2019ve kind of listed out all the qualifications for being a mom and raising daughters today.\u00a0 You lump it all under the first category that Bob mentioned\u2014being a coach.\u00a0 You mentioned earlier that being a coach sometimes means you have to bench\u2014you have to bench the players.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Explain what you mean by that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I believe in punishment.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 I think it\u2019s a part of motherhood.\u00a0 My first child was my willful child.\u00a0 I read every book known on strong-willed children\u2014obviously, Dr. Dobson\u2019s, at the time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because I had the one that would look me in the eyeball, at two years of age.\u00a0 I\u2019d say, \u201cDon\u2019t touch that;\u201d and she would promptly stick her finger out, exactly where I told her not to do it.\u00a0 It started really early, and often before my second cup of coffee in the morning, which is not a good time for me.\u00a0 So, you do\u2014you have to be in charge.\u00a0 I figured if I did it while she was still shorter than me, then, I had a shot when she was 16.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, if you had been that good of a coach in terms of benching the players, share with us a couple of your finest \u201cbenchings\u201d that you did as a mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s ironic to me because you think you have your standard punishments; but what you really want to do is what your child really doesn\u2019t want you to do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 My first, you put her in time-out, and she was absolutely miserable.\u00a0 She wanted to be in the middle of everything, all the time; and it drove her crazy.\u00a0 My second child has an entire world in her mind.\u00a0 She can sit in the corner for hours, and totally entertain herself, and have the biggest time.\u00a0 Sitting her in timeout was worthless because she was enjoying it.\u00a0 It just didn\u2019t work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, what did you do with her?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had to\u2014actually, take her \u201cdream world\u201d away\u2014if that makes any sense.\u00a0 The things that she liked to create would go up on the top shelf.\u00a0 She was a very creative child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, whether it is Crayons<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or whatever she was creating with\u2014\u201cYou can\u2019t play with that right now.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t play with that right now,\u201d because that mattered to her the most.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have to figure out where the pain is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 You do!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What they really like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because when you become a mom of a teenage daughter, it\u2019s a different type of punishment when you bench them at that age.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can\u2019t take away the Crayons of teenagers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Chelsea kind of missed them\u2014but yes.\u00a0 No, you can\u2019t.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But I\u2019m curious as to what your favorite \u201cbenchings\u201d were, in terms of raising teenage daughters.\u00a0 For ours, it was taking away media.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Same with ours.\u00a0 Media, it was huge\u2014and still is huge.\u00a0 That is a whole area I\u2019d really like to address, too, because I think we have to stay actively involved in the media of the child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, let\u2019s talk about that because you were\u2014you were in a media company.\u00a0 You and your husband owned a record company as you were raising your teenage girls; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you\u2019re\u2014all around you\u2014I mean media is a part of the way you bring home the bacon.\u00a0 You were monitoring carefully what your girls were listening to, involved with, and taking some of that away at appropriate times?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, and I think one of the most dangerous parents is a clueless parent.\u00a0 If you do not know\u2014if you don\u2019t even know what movie ratings mean, let alone what movie ratings are on particular movies, if you don\u2019t know the music that is the top ten downloaded songs, if you don\u2019t know the number one YouTube<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video that\u2019s being viewed\u2014if you don\u2019t have that information, you\u2019re in trouble when it comes to teenage kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou want to help your child make choices.\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to always dictate because you are training them.\u00a0 You\u2019re teaching them to make good choices.\u00a0 You\u2019re not just saying, \u201cWhat your choices should be...\u201d because they will leave your house.\u00a0 They will make their own choices.\u00a0 It is like strengthening an athlete.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve not prepared them for those\u2014to make on their own\u2014they are going to get in trouble.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, let\u2019s say your daughter was listening\u2014like this probably never happened in your household\u2014she was listening to a song and singing some words that she ought not to be singing.\u00a0 You overheard it, or you knew the words of the song, and you heard her humming it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014what would you do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Make her come down and sing it for me.\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly what my dad did to me.\u00a0 There was a little ditty on the radio\u2014car radio\u2014called <em>Sunshine<\/em> when I was a kid.\u00a0 It had a cuss word in it.\u00a0 My daddy didn\u2019t cuss.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think that should be appropriate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was a 13-year-old girl, in the back seat, singing.\u00a0 Daddy was listening to me, which normally you think is pretty cool when you\u2019re a 13-year-old girl and your daddy is listening to you sing.\u00a0 Well, he turns the radio down.\u00a0 I stopped.\u00a0 He said, \u201cOh, Honey, don\u2019t stop.\u00a0 I want to hear you sing\u2014keep singing that song.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did he know where it was going?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 He absolutely knew where it was going.\u00a0 He\u2019d heard it.\u00a0 I had no choice.\u00a0 I had to sing the line that I knew my father did not want me saying.\u00a0 I sang it feebly.\u00a0 You know, as quietly as I could.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn\u2019t change it to \u201cdang\u201d or \u201cdarn\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just sang it word\u2014like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just sang it because I knew he knew, and there wasn\u2019t any out.\u00a0 He turned around and said, \u201cAnd we think that\u2019s appropriate why?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI guess it\u2019s not, Daddy.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter what form it comes in.\u00a0 It\u2019s still not appropriate.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was the way we treated our daughters\u2014is you have to be willing to stand by what you listen to.\u00a0 If you can come in the room and you can quote the lyrics to me, comfortably, \u201cOkay, we\u2019re probably alright.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cIf you are squirming, you better rethink that one.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This approach is all the way through your book.\u00a0 You talk about encountering\u2014maybe going into a dressing room with your daughter.\u00a0 She\u2019s 13 or 14 and beginning to try on things\u2014you know the strapless evening-gown-type deal that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and you say instead of throwing a fit and saying, \u201cTake that thing off!\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to wear that!\u00a0 No daughter of mine is going to go out and wear that.\u201d\u00a0 You use the same approach there as well; don\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do, and it was told to me by another mother who\u2019d been through this.\u00a0 She was brilliant because I was struggling.\u00a0 My daughter was 13\/14 and wanting to wear things that I thought completely inappropriate.\u00a0 We were having throw downs.\u00a0 We were like mother\/daughters do.\u00a0 You talk, she talks.\u00a0 You yell, she yells\u2014it gets ugly.\u00a0 We were having throw downs; and I said, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cNever engage.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what you do.\u00a0 You go in the dressing room.\u00a0 When your daughter, at 13, 14, 15 says, \u2018What do you think, Mom\u2019\u201d\u2014because they\u2019re <em>always<\/em> going to say that because they are insecure.\u00a0 They are going to say it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say, \u201cHoney, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 What do you think?\u201d\u00a0 Well, the insecurity continues.\u00a0 The daughter then says, \u201cWell, I\u2019m not sure about this,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019m not sure about that.\u201d\u00a0 You say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You are absolutely right.\u00a0 I think that we can find something so much prettier than that.\u00a0 You are such a treasure.\u00a0 We want to make sure we get the right clothes on you.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2014and you follow it that way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that doesn\u2019t always work. There was one time my daughter borrowed a skirt from her friend that had zippers on it that shouldn\u2019t have been there, you know?\u00a0 They just shouldn\u2019t have been there.\u00a0 It was too short, and it had too many zippers.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t care for it.\u00a0 So, \u201cWe\u2019re going to go give that back to your friend, and you\u2019re not wearing that again.\u201d\u00a0 It was tough, and she wasn\u2019t very happy.\u00a0 She stormed upstairs, but the skirt was gone.\u00a0 It was over.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is the grit\u2014you talk about women needing grit and grace.\u00a0 There are a lot of moms who, when the daughter pushes back, and storms upstairs, and is in her room, the mom is thinking, \u201cI\u2019m losing this battle.\u00a0 She hates me.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to check out.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to rebel.\u00a0 She\u2019s pushing back against my authority.\u201d\u00a0 They lose heart because they don\u2019t want to lose their daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, you don\u2019t; and it gets scary.\u00a0 It does sometimes get scary; but if you stay in your daughter\u2019s life, you won\u2019t lose her.\u00a0 You need to find opportunities.\u00a0 We would go on little trips together\u2014maybe a day trip.\u00a0 It had nothing to do with anything.\u00a0 I would take four hours out of the day, and we would go somewhere.\u00a0 I would let my daughters talk about anything they wanted, do anything they wanted.\u00a0 It was away from any of the conflicts.\u00a0 It just was neutral territory.\u00a0 At those times, you build on that relationship, that at other times, you have to challenge.\u00a0 You have to make sure you take the opportunity to build on it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing I think is really important is\u2014as the mom, you\u2019re a female, too.\u00a0 You react, she reacts.\u00a0 You react, she reacts.\u00a0 All the female emotions step in.\u00a0 Well, you are the grown-up.\u00a0 You say, \u201cWe\u2019re going to stop right now.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to my room.\u00a0 You go to your room.\u201d\u00a0 You scream in the pillow.\u00a0 You say all the things that you know you shouldn\u2019t say to her to the pillow, to your room.\u00a0 Then, you come back out calm, and you start over.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are talking about the mom at this point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 The mom needs to go to her room, sometimes, just to calm down.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things I would do with our teenagers\u2014and with Barbara\u2014I would intercede, and I\u2019d say, \u201cYou know, what\u2019s happening here is your daughter is pulling you into the emotional mud puddle.\u00a0 She has made a profession out of mud wrestling.\u00a0 She knows that if she can get you all wrapped up around the axel of emotionally-losing control, or being angry, or being upset, or losing perspective, she\u2019s got you.\u00a0 She\u2019s got you in the mud puddle, and she\u2019s going to put a half-Nelson on you in the mud puddle.\u00a0 If she doesn\u2019t win the argument, she\u2019s certainly going to get the satisfaction of going, \u2018I got Mom\u2019\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201c\u2019into a <em>nasty<\/em> mud puddle.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t that great?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Teenagers\u2014you know, it\u2019s like they go to boot camp somewhere.\u00a0 They learn this training, and parents keep getting pulled into the mud puddle.\u00a0 They really need to maintain objectivity and, again, go back to what you talked about being a coach.\u00a0 A coach can\u2019t go there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, you can\u2019t.\u00a0 You have to recognize your child is smart.\u00a0 They know\u2014especially, a daughter with a mother\u2014they know how to push the hot buttons.\u00a0 They know what you\u2019re going to react to.\u00a0 They know how to do it, and they are going to use it.\u00a0 You are absolutely right.\u00a0 You <em>have<\/em> to walk away from it\u2014you <em>have<\/em> to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, when your daughter, Chelsea, dyed her hair, was that pushing one of your buttons?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not mine.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was fine.\u00a0 How old was she?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, see\u2014that started pretty young.\u00a0 She was in elementary school when we dyed her hair pink.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWhen we dyed her hair\u201d\u2014you were in on that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was in on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You helped her?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I helped her, yes.\u00a0 See, I\u2019m a little unconventional.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did she come and say, \u201cI want to dye my hair?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, she\u2019s my creative child.\u00a0 She said, \u201cMom, I want pink hair.\u201d\u00a0 She had hair, waist-length, in second grade.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI want pink in my hair.\u201d\u00a0 I went, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ll do pink in your hair.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, your husband Dan\u2014he approved this; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 I took the philosophy of, \u201cI\u2019m not going to fight over the things that don\u2019t really matter.\u201d\u00a0 To me, pink hair does not matter.\u00a0 There are much more important things in my daughters\u2019 lives than the color of their hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, was this a pink streak?\u00a0 Was it all pink?\u00a0 What happened?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 It changed.\u00a0 I took her to the punk store, which, in second grade, she didn\u2019t really know what all was sold at the store; but there was pink hair color.\u00a0 We got temporary pink hair dye in a little tub, went home, and wrapped her in old towels.\u00a0 She told me how she wanted it.\u00a0 The first time, it was two long streaks on each side of her head.\u00a0 The second time, it was half way down pink and, then, blonde above it.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 It was her choice.\u00a0 It was her creativity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This went on for a while?\u00a0 I mean, it was multiple iterations of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it was.\u00a0 She was, again, my creative child.\u00a0 I would take\u2014on my way to work, I would take our eldest daughter to school.\u00a0 Dan would be left at home with my youngest.\u00a0 Well, he would call me some mornings and say, \u201cHoney, Chels has just got the old cat glasses out again that don\u2019t have lenses.\u00a0 She\u2019s gone to the attic.\u00a0 She\u2019s gotten a shirt of yours, and a skirt of Lauren\u2019s, and her cowboy boots.\u00a0 She\u2019s ready to go to school.\u00a0 Are you okay with this?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cYes, Honey, are you?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cI guess.\u201d\u00a0 She would go to school dressed, rather randomly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, now, weren\u2019t there times, as a parent\u2014I mean, I know it\u2019s one thing when your child wants to do something creative and fun\u2014that is fine; but now, we\u2019re talking about Sunday morning\u2014getting up and going to church with your daughter with the pink hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Weren\u2019t you thinking, \u201cI really\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or the random clothes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Well, she was never immodest.\u00a0 I\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you embarrassed?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I know that sounds really odd.\u00a0 Perhaps, if I had been a proper mom, I would have been embarrassed\u2014I would have felt really badly about the pink hair; but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you weren\u2019t managing artists who had pink hair\u2014(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 That helps because they do have pierced eyebrows and stuff.\u00a0 I just kind of bend the rules comfortably, but it didn\u2019t matter to me.\u00a0 You know, the ironic part about this child now is\u2014she is grown.\u00a0 She\u2019s an elementary school teacher, and her husband is in seminary.\u00a0 I\u2019m waiting for the day where she becomes the pastor\u2019s wife.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 But she has toned down a little bit from the pink hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, while we\u2019re talking about the pink hair, we might as well go to the mom who had a problem with her daughter wanting to, evidently, wear a bikini or an immodest bathing suit of some kind.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Share what she did because, if you thought the pink hair was kind of wild, this is out there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 This is a great story, though.\u00a0 This is original Mom 101.\u00a0 She came\u2014her daughter came home.\u00a0 A good friend of mine\u2014her daughter came home with a bikini, with strategically-placed hearts on the bikini\u2014and you know how they can be strategically-placed.\u00a0 She put it on; and her mom said, \u201cThere\u2019s absolutely no way.\u00a0 You are not keeping that.\u00a0 You are not wearing that.\u201d\u00a0 That 16-year-old stomped up the steps.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, this mom, in a quandary, said, \u201cHow can I get my point across?\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s an artist.\u00a0 She\u2019s really creative. What she did is\u2014she cut three hearts out of construction paper, took their little dog, and posted those hearts, strategically on the dog.\u00a0 Called the family in the room and started singing, \u201cItsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, yellow polka dot bikini\u201d\u2014marching the dog around the room.\u00a0 The family is on the floor, dying laughing.\u00a0 Then, she said, \u201cSo, where did you look?\u201d\u00a0 Her daughter went, \u201cWell, I guess so, Mom.\u201d\u00a0 She realized that it was a funny story, but it really made the point that she was trying to make verbally.\u00a0 She did a visual representation, and it worked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The thing I like about the story is so many battles in raising teenagers escalate into door slamming, and multiple arguments, and the mud puddle, again.\u00a0 This mom had the ability to lighten it up, and do something funny, and make the point, at the same time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that is something every mother should incorporate\u2014if you can, incorporate humor into your points.\u00a0 Do it because lectures only go so far.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you had\u2014and you\u2019ve written a book, and we\u2019ve talked here this week about a variety of subjects\u2014but if you had five minutes to sit down across the table, with a cup of coffee, with a mom of a teenage daughter and she says, \u201cI just feel like I\u2019m under the pile of this.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re going to give her a coaching tip, a pep talk.\u00a0 As you think about what moms are doing, and how they\u2019re living today, and what\u2019s going on, would you tell them to stay in there and fight?\u00a0 Would you tell them to lighten up?\u00a0 I mean, what kind of\u2014what is the overarching advice you would give to these moms?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think the most important thing in motherhood, in every part of it, is relentlessness.\u00a0 You never give up.\u00a0 You never give up.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter what battles you are in; you never give up.\u00a0 The second one is don\u2019t expect perfection from you, don\u2019t expect perfection from your daughter because, if you think your child\u2019s going to do everything right; they won\u2019t.\u00a0 No child does.\u00a0 Then, you have unrealistic expectations you will never meet.\u00a0 You will <em>always<\/em> feel defeated.\u00a0 If you think you are going to do everything right, you won\u2019t.\u00a0 You have those same unrealistic expectations.\u00a0 So, you have to approach this with fortitude, with an unrelenting nature and willingness to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I did wrong.\u00a0 You\u2019re sorry.\u00a0 You did wrong,\u201d and, \u201cWe\u2019re going to move on.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019d just underscore your statement about persevering because, in this culture, I think a lot of moms give into moral exhaustion.\u00a0 We\u2019re fighting on so many fronts, whether it\u2019s a cell phone and what\u2019s being texted, whether it\u2019s a computer and what\u2019s taking place on it\u2014media, music, the songs that are being sung, the videos they are watching on YouTube.\u00a0 I mean, all of it is coming at these young ladies.\u00a0 It\u2019s so easy to just want to throw up your hands and say, \u201cI cave.\u00a0 I give in.\u00a0 The world wins.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But you have to realize, God placed you in the role.\u00a0 He gave you the job, you\u2019ve talked about, Darlene\u2014about being a mom.\u00a0 You need to be obedient to Him, just as you called your daughter to be obedient to Him as she went off to Hollywood to be a\u2014hopefully, become a film producer.\u00a0 Moms, today, just need to hang in there\u2014not resign\u2014even though they feel like it at the end of the day, on occasion\u2014and be the moms God\u2019s called them to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They need to have both grit and grace; right?\u00a0 I mean, at the end of the day, that\u2019s what it boils down to.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you\u2019ve been challenging moms with in the book that you\u2019ve written and in the ministry that you\u2019ve established.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got copies of Darlene\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters<\/em>.\u00a0 There is also a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about the <em>The Grit and Grace Project<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>, if you like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Order a copy of Darlene Brock\u2019s book, <em>Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters<\/em>; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 You can ask for information about how to get a copy of Darlene\u2019s book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we wrap things up here this week, we want to share with our listeners some exciting news.\u00a0 We had some friends of the ministry, who we were sitting down with recently.\u00a0 They were getting an update on all that\u2019s going on here at FamilyLife, and they heard about a project we\u2019ve been working on.\u00a0 We are putting together a ten-part video series based on material from Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019re planning, this fall, to encourage men to get with other men and to understand better God\u2019s design and calling on them as men.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese folks got pretty excited about that project.\u00a0 They said, \u201cWe\u2019d like to help make that happen; but we\u2019d, also, like to get <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners involved.\u201d\u00a0 What they agreed to do was to match every donation that we receive, during the month of May, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $435,000.\u00a0 That\u2019s a very generous offer, on their part.\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for that; but to take advantage of it, we\u2019re going to need to hear from as many of our listeners as we can.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019re asking you to make a donation today.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Whatever donation you make is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar, again, up to a total $435,000.\u00a0 You will not only be helping us finish out the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> project, but you\u2019ll be helping make sure that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> continues on your local radio station, on the internet, and through all of the outreaches that we have going on, here at FamilyLife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We appreciate your support of this ministry.\u00a0 We are grateful for the opportunity to see your donation be matched dollar-for-dollar this month.\u00a0 We hope you\u2019ll consider going to FamilyLifeToday.com, clicking the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and making an online donation; or calling us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY and making a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Again, we appreciate your support of the ministry; and we look forward to hearing from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 Jill Savage is going to be here, and we are going to talk about moms being real.\u00a0 In the middle of real life, how can you be real, how can you stay spiritually-centered, how can you be focused on the right stuff?\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.82M"],"filesize_raw":["23926169"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302517.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302517.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f 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a daughter can be challenging these days.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-05-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As a mom raising daughters, how much freedom do you give your girls to make decisions that you may not be crazy about?\u00a0 That\u2019s a dilemma that Darlene Brock faced with one of her girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She had hair, waist-length, in second grade.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI want pink in my hair.\u201d\u00a0 I went, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ll do pink in your hair.\u201d\u00a0 I took the philosophy of, \u201cI\u2019m not going to fight over the things that don\u2019t really matter.\u201d\u00a0 To me, pink hair does not matter.\u00a0 There are much more important things in my daughters\u2019 lives than the color of their hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, May 4<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 When do you let your kids make the decisions; and when do you say, \u201cUh-uh\u201d?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019m just thinking\u2014if we were putting together a help wanted ad for a position here at FamilyLife\u2014said, \u201cHere\u2019s what we\u2019re looking for:\u00a0 We\u2019re looking for somebody who has some experience as a coach.\u00a0 They need to have been a creative counselor.\u00a0 They need to be a media director\u2014looking for somebody who is a professor of gender studies, financial consultant, a communication specialist, a military strategist; and we\u2019d like for them to have some experience as a body guard, as well.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t think we\u2019d get very many applications\u2014at least not somebody who\u2019s had experience in all those areas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s exactly right; but we have, in our midst, one woman who did it all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She did it all perfectly.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019m laughing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s right.\u00a0 Darlene Brock joins us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Darlene, welcome back.\u00a0 <br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.\u00a0 Good to be here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Darlene has two adult daughters today. She and her husband Dan have been married since 1978.\u00a0 She\u2019s got an interesting background.\u00a0 She and her husband were pioneers in the Contemporary Christian music industry way back when and became agents for a number of clients who won Grammy\u2019s, Dove Awards\u2014had all kinds of fun doing that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve been to the Grammy Awards ceremony?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, several times.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, so was it cool?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of messy.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Messy?\u00a0 What do you mean messy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 You get a lot of musicians that\u2014it goes to commercial\u2014and they just get messy.\u00a0 That\u2019s all.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We need to go out and see what happens when the commercials are on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we need to find out what really takes place there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 None of mine.\u00a0 None of the bands that we worked with\u2014this was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014just the people sitting around you; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014just\u2014yes, exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Darlene has just finished a book called <em>Help Wanted<\/em>, and it\u2019s about this advertisement here.\u00a0 You\u2019ve kind of listed out all the qualifications for being a mom and raising daughters today.\u00a0 You lump it all under the first category that Bob mentioned\u2014being a coach.\u00a0 You mentioned earlier that being a coach sometimes means you have to bench\u2014you have to bench the players.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Explain what you mean by that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I believe in punishment.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 I think it\u2019s a part of motherhood.\u00a0 My first child was my willful child.\u00a0 I read every book known on strong-willed children\u2014obviously, Dr. Dobson\u2019s, at the time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because I had the one that would look me in the eyeball, at two years of age.\u00a0 I\u2019d say, \u201cDon\u2019t touch that;\u201d and she would promptly stick her finger out, exactly where I told her not to do it.\u00a0 It started really early, and often before my second cup of coffee in the morning, which is not a good time for me.\u00a0 So, you do\u2014you have to be in charge.\u00a0 I figured if I did it while she was still shorter than me, then, I had a shot when she was 16.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, if you had been that good of a coach in terms of benching the players, share with us a couple of your finest \u201cbenchings\u201d that you did as a mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s ironic to me because you think you have your standard punishments; but what you really want to do is what your child really doesn\u2019t want you to do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 My first, you put her in time-out, and she was absolutely miserable.\u00a0 She wanted to be in the middle of everything, all the time; and it drove her crazy.\u00a0 My second child has an entire world in her mind.\u00a0 She can sit in the corner for hours, and totally entertain herself, and have the biggest time.\u00a0 Sitting her in timeout was worthless because she was enjoying it.\u00a0 It just didn\u2019t work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, what did you do with her?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had to\u2014actually, take her \u201cdream world\u201d away\u2014if that makes any sense.\u00a0 The things that she liked to create would go up on the top shelf.\u00a0 She was a very creative child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, whether it is Crayons<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> or whatever she was creating with\u2014\u201cYou can\u2019t play with that right now.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cYou can\u2019t play with that right now,\u201d because that mattered to her the most.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have to figure out where the pain is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 You do!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What they really like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because when you become a mom of a teenage daughter, it\u2019s a different type of punishment when you bench them at that age.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can\u2019t take away the Crayons of teenagers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 Chelsea kind of missed them\u2014but yes.\u00a0 No, you can\u2019t.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But I\u2019m curious as to what your favorite \u201cbenchings\u201d were, in terms of raising teenage daughters.\u00a0 For ours, it was taking away media.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Same with ours.\u00a0 Media, it was huge\u2014and still is huge.\u00a0 That is a whole area I\u2019d really like to address, too, because I think we have to stay actively involved in the media of the child.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, let\u2019s talk about that because you were\u2014you were in a media company.\u00a0 You and your husband owned a record company as you were raising your teenage girls; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you\u2019re\u2014all around you\u2014I mean media is a part of the way you bring home the bacon.\u00a0 You were monitoring carefully what your girls were listening to, involved with, and taking some of that away at appropriate times?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, and I think one of the most dangerous parents is a clueless parent.\u00a0 If you do not know\u2014if you don\u2019t even know what movie ratings mean, let alone what movie ratings are on particular movies, if you don\u2019t know the music that is the top ten downloaded songs, if you don\u2019t know the number one YouTube<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video that\u2019s being viewed\u2014if you don\u2019t have that information, you\u2019re in trouble when it comes to teenage kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou want to help your child make choices.\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to always dictate because you are training them.\u00a0 You\u2019re teaching them to make good choices.\u00a0 You\u2019re not just saying, \u201cWhat your choices should be...\u201d because they will leave your house.\u00a0 They will make their own choices.\u00a0 It is like strengthening an athlete.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve not prepared them for those\u2014to make on their own\u2014they are going to get in trouble.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, let\u2019s say your daughter was listening\u2014like this probably never happened in your household\u2014she was listening to a song and singing some words that she ought not to be singing.\u00a0 You overheard it, or you knew the words of the song, and you heard her humming it\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014what would you do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Make her come down and sing it for me.\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly what my dad did to me.\u00a0 There was a little ditty on the radio\u2014car radio\u2014called <em>Sunshine<\/em> when I was a kid.\u00a0 It had a cuss word in it.\u00a0 My daddy didn\u2019t cuss.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t think that should be appropriate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was a 13-year-old girl, in the back seat, singing.\u00a0 Daddy was listening to me, which normally you think is pretty cool when you\u2019re a 13-year-old girl and your daddy is listening to you sing.\u00a0 Well, he turns the radio down.\u00a0 I stopped.\u00a0 He said, \u201cOh, Honey, don\u2019t stop.\u00a0 I want to hear you sing\u2014keep singing that song.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did he know where it was going?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 He absolutely knew where it was going.\u00a0 He\u2019d heard it.\u00a0 I had no choice.\u00a0 I had to sing the line that I knew my father did not want me saying.\u00a0 I sang it feebly.\u00a0 You know, as quietly as I could.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn\u2019t change it to \u201cdang\u201d or \u201cdarn\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just sang it word\u2014like\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just sang it because I knew he knew, and there wasn\u2019t any out.\u00a0 He turned around and said, \u201cAnd we think that\u2019s appropriate why?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI guess it\u2019s not, Daddy.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter what form it comes in.\u00a0 It\u2019s still not appropriate.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was the way we treated our daughters\u2014is you have to be willing to stand by what you listen to.\u00a0 If you can come in the room and you can quote the lyrics to me, comfortably, \u201cOkay, we\u2019re probably alright.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cIf you are squirming, you better rethink that one.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This approach is all the way through your book.\u00a0 You talk about encountering\u2014maybe going into a dressing room with your daughter.\u00a0 She\u2019s 13 or 14 and beginning to try on things\u2014you know the strapless evening-gown-type deal that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and you say instead of throwing a fit and saying, \u201cTake that thing off!\u00a0 You\u2019re not going to wear that!\u00a0 No daughter of mine is going to go out and wear that.\u201d\u00a0 You use the same approach there as well; don\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do, and it was told to me by another mother who\u2019d been through this.\u00a0 She was brilliant because I was struggling.\u00a0 My daughter was 13\/14 and wanting to wear things that I thought completely inappropriate.\u00a0 We were having throw downs.\u00a0 We were like mother\/daughters do.\u00a0 You talk, she talks.\u00a0 You yell, she yells\u2014it gets ugly.\u00a0 We were having throw downs; and I said, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cNever engage.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what you do.\u00a0 You go in the dressing room.\u00a0 When your daughter, at 13, 14, 15 says, \u2018What do you think, Mom\u2019\u201d\u2014because they\u2019re <em>always<\/em> going to say that because they are insecure.\u00a0 They are going to say it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou say, \u201cHoney, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 What do you think?\u201d\u00a0 Well, the insecurity continues.\u00a0 The daughter then says, \u201cWell, I\u2019m not sure about this,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019m not sure about that.\u201d\u00a0 You say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You are absolutely right.\u00a0 I think that we can find something so much prettier than that.\u00a0 You are such a treasure.\u00a0 We want to make sure we get the right clothes on you.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2014and you follow it that way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, that doesn\u2019t always work. There was one time my daughter borrowed a skirt from her friend that had zippers on it that shouldn\u2019t have been there, you know?\u00a0 They just shouldn\u2019t have been there.\u00a0 It was too short, and it had too many zippers.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t care for it.\u00a0 So, \u201cWe\u2019re going to go give that back to your friend, and you\u2019re not wearing that again.\u201d\u00a0 It was tough, and she wasn\u2019t very happy.\u00a0 She stormed upstairs, but the skirt was gone.\u00a0 It was over.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is the grit\u2014you talk about women needing grit and grace.\u00a0 There are a lot of moms who, when the daughter pushes back, and storms upstairs, and is in her room, the mom is thinking, \u201cI\u2019m losing this battle.\u00a0 She hates me.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to check out.\u00a0 She\u2019s going to rebel.\u00a0 She\u2019s pushing back against my authority.\u201d\u00a0 They lose heart because they don\u2019t want to lose their daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, you don\u2019t; and it gets scary.\u00a0 It does sometimes get scary; but if you stay in your daughter\u2019s life, you won\u2019t lose her.\u00a0 You need to find opportunities.\u00a0 We would go on little trips together\u2014maybe a day trip.\u00a0 It had nothing to do with anything.\u00a0 I would take four hours out of the day, and we would go somewhere.\u00a0 I would let my daughters talk about anything they wanted, do anything they wanted.\u00a0 It was away from any of the conflicts.\u00a0 It just was neutral territory.\u00a0 At those times, you build on that relationship, that at other times, you have to challenge.\u00a0 You have to make sure you take the opportunity to build on it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing I think is really important is\u2014as the mom, you\u2019re a female, too.\u00a0 You react, she reacts.\u00a0 You react, she reacts.\u00a0 All the female emotions step in.\u00a0 Well, you are the grown-up.\u00a0 You say, \u201cWe\u2019re going to stop right now.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to my room.\u00a0 You go to your room.\u201d\u00a0 You scream in the pillow.\u00a0 You say all the things that you know you shouldn\u2019t say to her to the pillow, to your room.\u00a0 Then, you come back out calm, and you start over.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are talking about the mom at this point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 The mom needs to go to her room, sometimes, just to calm down.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things I would do with our teenagers\u2014and with Barbara\u2014I would intercede, and I\u2019d say, \u201cYou know, what\u2019s happening here is your daughter is pulling you into the emotional mud puddle.\u00a0 She has made a profession out of mud wrestling.\u00a0 She knows that if she can get you all wrapped up around the axel of emotionally-losing control, or being angry, or being upset, or losing perspective, she\u2019s got you.\u00a0 She\u2019s got you in the mud puddle, and she\u2019s going to put a half-Nelson on you in the mud puddle.\u00a0 If she doesn\u2019t win the argument, she\u2019s certainly going to get the satisfaction of going, \u2018I got Mom\u2019\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201c\u2019into a <em>nasty<\/em> mud puddle.\u00a0 Wasn\u2019t that great?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Teenagers\u2014you know, it\u2019s like they go to boot camp somewhere.\u00a0 They learn this training, and parents keep getting pulled into the mud puddle.\u00a0 They really need to maintain objectivity and, again, go back to what you talked about being a coach.\u00a0 A coach can\u2019t go there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, you can\u2019t.\u00a0 You have to recognize your child is smart.\u00a0 They know\u2014especially, a daughter with a mother\u2014they know how to push the hot buttons.\u00a0 They know what you\u2019re going to react to.\u00a0 They know how to do it, and they are going to use it.\u00a0 You are absolutely right.\u00a0 You <em>have<\/em> to walk away from it\u2014you <em>have<\/em> to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, when your daughter, Chelsea, dyed her hair, was that pushing one of your buttons?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not mine.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was fine.\u00a0 How old was she?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, see\u2014that started pretty young.\u00a0 She was in elementary school when we dyed her hair pink.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWhen we dyed her hair\u201d\u2014you were in on that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was in on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You helped her?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I helped her, yes.\u00a0 See, I\u2019m a little unconventional.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did she come and say, \u201cI want to dye my hair?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, she\u2019s my creative child.\u00a0 She said, \u201cMom, I want pink hair.\u201d\u00a0 She had hair, waist-length, in second grade.\u00a0 She said, \u201cI want pink in my hair.\u201d\u00a0 I went, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ll do pink in your hair.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, your husband Dan\u2014he approved this; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, he didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 I took the philosophy of, \u201cI\u2019m not going to fight over the things that don\u2019t really matter.\u201d\u00a0 To me, pink hair does not matter.\u00a0 There are much more important things in my daughters\u2019 lives than the color of their hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, was this a pink streak?\u00a0 Was it all pink?\u00a0 What happened?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 It changed.\u00a0 I took her to the punk store, which, in second grade, she didn\u2019t really know what all was sold at the store; but there was pink hair color.\u00a0 We got temporary pink hair dye in a little tub, went home, and wrapped her in old towels.\u00a0 She told me how she wanted it.\u00a0 The first time, it was two long streaks on each side of her head.\u00a0 The second time, it was half way down pink and, then, blonde above it.\u00a0 It didn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 It was her choice.\u00a0 It was her creativity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This went on for a while?\u00a0 I mean, it was multiple iterations of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it was.\u00a0 She was, again, my creative child.\u00a0 I would take\u2014on my way to work, I would take our eldest daughter to school.\u00a0 Dan would be left at home with my youngest.\u00a0 Well, he would call me some mornings and say, \u201cHoney, Chels has just got the old cat glasses out again that don\u2019t have lenses.\u00a0 She\u2019s gone to the attic.\u00a0 She\u2019s gotten a shirt of yours, and a skirt of Lauren\u2019s, and her cowboy boots.\u00a0 She\u2019s ready to go to school.\u00a0 Are you okay with this?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cYes, Honey, are you?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cI guess.\u201d\u00a0 She would go to school dressed, rather randomly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, now, weren\u2019t there times, as a parent\u2014I mean, I know it\u2019s one thing when your child wants to do something creative and fun\u2014that is fine; but now, we\u2019re talking about Sunday morning\u2014getting up and going to church with your daughter with the pink hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Weren\u2019t you thinking, \u201cI really\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or the random clothes?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Well, she was never immodest.\u00a0 I\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you embarrassed?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I know that sounds really odd.\u00a0 Perhaps, if I had been a proper mom, I would have been embarrassed\u2014I would have felt really badly about the pink hair; but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you weren\u2019t managing artists who had pink hair\u2014(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 That helps because they do have pierced eyebrows and stuff.\u00a0 I just kind of bend the rules comfortably, but it didn\u2019t matter to me.\u00a0 You know, the ironic part about this child now is\u2014she is grown.\u00a0 She\u2019s an elementary school teacher, and her husband is in seminary.\u00a0 I\u2019m waiting for the day where she becomes the pastor\u2019s wife.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes, exactly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 But she has toned down a little bit from the pink hair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, while we\u2019re talking about the pink hair, we might as well go to the mom who had a problem with her daughter wanting to, evidently, wear a bikini or an immodest bathing suit of some kind.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Share what she did because, if you thought the pink hair was kind of wild, this is out there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 This is a great story, though.\u00a0 This is original Mom 101.\u00a0 She came\u2014her daughter came home.\u00a0 A good friend of mine\u2014her daughter came home with a bikini, with strategically-placed hearts on the bikini\u2014and you know how they can be strategically-placed.\u00a0 She put it on; and her mom said, \u201cThere\u2019s absolutely no way.\u00a0 You are not keeping that.\u00a0 You are not wearing that.\u201d\u00a0 That 16-year-old stomped up the steps.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, this mom, in a quandary, said, \u201cHow can I get my point across?\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s an artist.\u00a0 She\u2019s really creative. What she did is\u2014she cut three hearts out of construction paper, took their little dog, and posted those hearts, strategically on the dog.\u00a0 Called the family in the room and started singing, \u201cItsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, yellow polka dot bikini\u201d\u2014marching the dog around the room.\u00a0 The family is on the floor, dying laughing.\u00a0 Then, she said, \u201cSo, where did you look?\u201d\u00a0 Her daughter went, \u201cWell, I guess so, Mom.\u201d\u00a0 She realized that it was a funny story, but it really made the point that she was trying to make verbally.\u00a0 She did a visual representation, and it worked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The thing I like about the story is so many battles in raising teenagers escalate into door slamming, and multiple arguments, and the mud puddle, again.\u00a0 This mom had the ability to lighten it up, and do something funny, and make the point, at the same time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that is something every mother should incorporate\u2014if you can, incorporate humor into your points.\u00a0 Do it because lectures only go so far.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you had\u2014and you\u2019ve written a book, and we\u2019ve talked here this week about a variety of subjects\u2014but if you had five minutes to sit down across the table, with a cup of coffee, with a mom of a teenage daughter and she says, \u201cI just feel like I\u2019m under the pile of this.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re going to give her a coaching tip, a pep talk.\u00a0 As you think about what moms are doing, and how they\u2019re living today, and what\u2019s going on, would you tell them to stay in there and fight?\u00a0 Would you tell them to lighten up?\u00a0 I mean, what kind of\u2014what is the overarching advice you would give to these moms?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think the most important thing in motherhood, in every part of it, is relentlessness.\u00a0 You never give up.\u00a0 You never give up.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter what battles you are in; you never give up.\u00a0 The second one is don\u2019t expect perfection from you, don\u2019t expect perfection from your daughter because, if you think your child\u2019s going to do everything right; they won\u2019t.\u00a0 No child does.\u00a0 Then, you have unrealistic expectations you will never meet.\u00a0 You will <em>always<\/em> feel defeated.\u00a0 If you think you are going to do everything right, you won\u2019t.\u00a0 You have those same unrealistic expectations.\u00a0 So, you have to approach this with fortitude, with an unrelenting nature and willingness to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 I did wrong.\u00a0 You\u2019re sorry.\u00a0 You did wrong,\u201d and, \u201cWe\u2019re going to move on.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019d just underscore your statement about persevering because, in this culture, I think a lot of moms give into moral exhaustion.\u00a0 We\u2019re fighting on so many fronts, whether it\u2019s a cell phone and what\u2019s being texted, whether it\u2019s a computer and what\u2019s taking place on it\u2014media, music, the songs that are being sung, the videos they are watching on YouTube.\u00a0 I mean, all of it is coming at these young ladies.\u00a0 It\u2019s so easy to just want to throw up your hands and say, \u201cI cave.\u00a0 I give in.\u00a0 The world wins.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>But you have to realize, God placed you in the role.\u00a0 He gave you the job, you\u2019ve talked about, Darlene\u2014about being a mom.\u00a0 You need to be obedient to Him, just as you called your daughter to be obedient to Him as she went off to Hollywood to be a\u2014hopefully, become a film producer.\u00a0 Moms, today, just need to hang in there\u2014not resign\u2014even though they feel like it at the end of the day, on occasion\u2014and be the moms God\u2019s called them to be.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They need to have both grit and grace; right?\u00a0 I mean, at the end of the day, that\u2019s what it boils down to.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you\u2019ve been challenging moms with in the book that you\u2019ve written and in the ministry that you\u2019ve established.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got copies of Darlene\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters<\/em>.\u00a0 There is also a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to find out more about the <em>The Grit and Grace Project<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>, if you like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Order a copy of Darlene Brock\u2019s book, <em>Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters<\/em>; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 You can ask for information about how to get a copy of Darlene\u2019s book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore we wrap things up here this week, we want to share with our listeners some exciting news.\u00a0 We had some friends of the ministry, who we were sitting down with recently.\u00a0 They were getting an update on all that\u2019s going on here at FamilyLife, and they heard about a project we\u2019ve been working on.\u00a0 We are putting together a ten-part video series based on material from Dennis Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019re planning, this fall, to encourage men to get with other men and to understand better God\u2019s design and calling on them as men.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese folks got pretty excited about that project.\u00a0 They said, \u201cWe\u2019d like to help make that happen; but we\u2019d, also, like to get <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners involved.\u201d\u00a0 What they agreed to do was to match every donation that we receive, during the month of May, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $435,000.\u00a0 That\u2019s a very generous offer, on their part.\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for that; but to take advantage of it, we\u2019re going to need to hear from as many of our listeners as we can.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019re asking you to make a donation today.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Whatever donation you make is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar, again, up to a total $435,000.\u00a0 You will not only be helping us finish out the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> project, but you\u2019ll be helping make sure that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> continues on your local radio station, on the internet, and through all of the outreaches that we have going on, here at FamilyLife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We appreciate your support of this ministry.\u00a0 We are grateful for the opportunity to see your donation be matched dollar-for-dollar this month.\u00a0 We hope you\u2019ll consider going to FamilyLifeToday.com, clicking the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and making an online donation; or calling us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY and making a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Again, we appreciate your support of the ministry; and we look forward to hearing from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 Jill Savage is going to be here, and we are going to talk about moms being real.\u00a0 In the middle of real life, how can you be real, how can you stay spiritually-centered, how can you be focused on the right stuff?\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302517","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302517"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302517"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302517"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302517"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302517"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302517"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302517"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}