{"id":302516,"date":"2012-05-03T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-05-03T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/congratulations-its-a-girl\/"},"modified":"2012-05-03T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-05-03T15:00:00","slug":"congratulations-its-a-girl","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/congratulations-its-a-girl\/","title":{"rendered":"Congratulations! It&#8217;s a Girl!"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Darlene Brock found out, at the age of 27, that she was pregnant she cried for a month.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-05-03.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.04M","filesize_raw":"25205322","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2838,2836],"tags":[4584],"podcast_series":[7872],"cwp_profile":[3146],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302516","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mothers","category-raising-girls","tag-fear","podcast_series-help-wanted-moms-raising-daughters","cwp_profile-darlene-brock","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302516\/congratulations-its-a-girl","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302516\/congratulations-its-a-girl","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"Jv23zqxT8l\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/congratulations-its-a-girl\/\">Congratulations! It&#8217;s a Girl!<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/congratulations-its-a-girl\/embed\/#?secret=Jv23zqxT8l\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Congratulations! It&#8217;s a Girl!&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"Jv23zqxT8l\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-05-03.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-05-03.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 After working for more than 30 years in the music industry, Darlene Brock has a lot of professional accomplishments she can point to; but when she looks at her life, that\u2019s not where she points.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 The lasting thing that I did was raise my daughters.\u00a0 The thing that matters now in the world are my daughters.\u00a0 So, everything was great.\u00a0 I loved doing every single bit of it, but the most fulfilling job you can have is raising your daughters.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Darlene Brock joins us today to help moms with a job description for what it looks like to raise girls.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019ve asked you this question before, but it was years ago.\u00a0 I just want to see if you answer it the same way now as you did back then.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Degree of difficulty: moms raising boys, moms raising girls\u2014we\u2019ll stop there.\u00a0 Which is harder?\u00a0 Is it harder for moms to raise boys or harder for moms to raise girls?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Harder to raise girls than boys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why do you say that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, first of all, they are the same sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is this\u2014it\u2019s not opposites attracting; it\u2019s\u2014a mom knows how a girl thinks.\u00a0 So, you just got some natural clashing, some competition, some rebellion, little smart-aleck stuff that takes place.\u00a0 You know, we loved our sons and our daughters.\u00a0 Our daughters were just more challenging.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 For both of you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, for\u2014oh, absolutely!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 If you took all of our conversations that\u2014we had a date night on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not just because it was a two-to-one ratio because you had four girls and two boys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 We had a date night on Sunday night, and we\u2019d go out.\u00a0 It was the CEO and the COO getting together, talking about how we operate this deal, and where we were headed, and what the challenges were this week.\u00a0 The boys were simple.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Feed them.\u00a0 Leave them in their room for a while; they\u2019ll get better; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you take them hunting; and if they don\u2019t do well, you leave them in the woods.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 You can\u2019t do that with a girl!\u00a0 You can\u2019t do that!\u00a0 Again, we loved them both.\u00a0 It was one of the greatest privileges of our lives; and I know right now, if you called Barbara, it\u2019d be hands down.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Girls were harder than the boys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s\u2014well, I can\u2019t ask our guest because she didn\u2019t have any boys.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I did not.\u00a0 Two girls\u2014that was enough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the voice of Darlene Brock who joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Darlene, welcome to the broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.\u00a0 Good to be here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You, undoubtedly, had a few challenges with your daughters in raising them.\u00a0 I got to give a little background on you.\u00a0 In fact, I should let Bob do this.\u00a0 I mean, I actually thought about just leaving and letting you two talk music because of your backgrounds in the music industry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Darlene and her husband Dan and I met back in about\u2014it would have been about 1980 or 81.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They were married in 1978.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They were involved with helping DeGarmo &amp; Key, the\u2014some listeners will go, \u201cI\u2019ve heard of them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Petra.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Back in the day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014Bob and Jayne Farrell, Farrell and Farrell, and started ForeFront Records and DC Talk.\u00a0 We just kind of hung out in a lot of different places; didn\u2019t we?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 We sure did, and you just went down a whole lot of life right there.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Darlene has written a book called <em>Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>It\u2019s a part of a bigger project called <em>The Grit &amp; Grace<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me explain.\u00a0 This\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014<em>Project<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014is not Grits and Grace.\u00a0 That would be a southern project.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 That would be a southern\u2014but this is more universal than that.\u00a0 Absolutely; yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Explain that project to our listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m a firm believer that every female in every area of her life has to deal with life with grit and grace\u2014whether it is parenting, whether it is relationships, whether it\u2019s career, home front\u2014you have to have both.\u00a0 What I mean by that is grit\u2014indomitable strength, facing difficulty, and \u201cDon\u2019t back down\u201d\u2014because you have to as a female.\u00a0 I know men do, too; but females, we need to stand a lot stronger than we do at times.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 If we do the standing only and don\u2019t absorb grace into it, we turn into some really ugly women.\u00a0 So, grit and grace\u2014equally important and equally necessary to achieve anything.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You had a model of grit and grace growing up; didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 My great grandmother, Grandma Bunger\u2014that woman was under five foot tall, probably, did not weigh a hundred pounds\u2014but nobody messed with her.\u00a0 She had 12 kids\u2014loved them all; raised them all.\u00a0 I saw her run through the house with a broom after my great uncle one time because he had come home\u2014he\u2019d drunk a little bit he shouldn\u2019t have drunk, and he was being a little ornery.\u00a0 He ran for his life\u2014250 pounds, running through the house, out the front door.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And a hundred pounds\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s a hundred pounds.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014with a broom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A hundred pounds with a broom.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If she had caught him, what would she have done with him?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hit him.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure she\u2019d have hit him over the head, and he would have cowered.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 She was amazing.\u00a0 She was my example of what a great woman is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, during the research on you for being a guest here on<em> FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014we did a little bit of a FBI background check and touched base with the highway patrol.\u00a0 Our understanding is you\u2019ve set a record for the most number of accidents, early on in your driving career.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Yes, I did.\u00a0 Growing up, mostly my teenage years\u2014at least let me make that disclaimer\u2014most of them were in my teenage years\u2014not all\u2014but I did put a car in a swamp.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wrote this book on being a mom.\u00a0 You begin this book telling stories about all your car accidents because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because one of the last ones that I had was when I found out I was pregnant for my first child.\u00a0 I had an auto accident.\u00a0 I was rear-ended.\u00a0 Fortunately, this one wasn\u2019t my fault\u2014others were.\u00a0 This one wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t feel good.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t feel good for a few days, a few weeks, and thought, \u201cBoy!\u00a0 That was a really rough accident.\u201d\u00a0 I started realizing I probably should look at the calendar.\u00a0 I probably should count days.\u00a0 At that time, I had to go see my doctor to get proof of pregnancy because I thought, \u201cMaybe.\u201d\u00a0 Well, indeed, he smiled; he congratulated me.\u00a0 I ran out the door crying because I thought I\u2019d just figured out how to be a grown-up.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019ve got another human to deal with; and it scared me to death.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How long had you been married?\u00a0 How old were you when you found out you were pregnant with your first child?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was 27.\u00a0 We\u2019d been married four years, and I had been on my own since I was 18.\u00a0 You\u2019d have thought I could figure out life by then.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, Dar\u2014I mean, you\u2019ve had enough time\u201427.\u00a0 I mean, I would think you\u2019d go, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m ready for this;\u201d but you didn\u2019t feel like you were ready for it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I was smart enough to know it was a bigger job than I had ever done for anything else.\u00a0 Any mistake I made wasn\u2019t just going to affect me or my husband\u2014we were grown-ups\u2014it was going to affect my daughter or my son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, after finding out and after stopping crying\u2014you said in your book you cried for a month.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Why?\u00a0 I mean\u2014okay, it\u2019s a big responsibility.\u00a0 Why would you cry for a month\u2014around\u2014about that though?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I could say hormones, but I think it was fear.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You weren\u2019t really looking forward to it at all?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Not at all.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that I didn\u2019t want to, one day, be a mom.\u00a0 I thought it was a great thing to be.\u00a0 What a wonderful opportunity in life is to be a mother\u2014to have this child, this baby, this toddler, this\u2014I couldn\u2019t have said teenager but\u2014to have this wonderful other human in my life.\u00a0 It was something that I looked forward to <em>one day<\/em>, but I really was afraid.\u00a0 I really was afraid that I wouldn\u2019t do it right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was part of the reason you weren\u2019t ready to be a mom\u2014I mean, you were involved\u2014you and your husband were both in the Christian music world.\u00a0 You were managing bands, you were\u2014this was before you started a record company, but that was on the horizon for you.\u00a0 It was kind of an exciting life you were living.\u00a0 Was your thinking at all, \u201cBoy, this child is inconvenient at this time\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Inconvenient, no; but I was busy.\u00a0 We were building businesses, we were travelling, we were dealing with all kinds of humans and relationships in our business, and we were working unbelievably long days.\u00a0 How was I going to do that?\u00a0 My husband and I were business partners, best friends\u2014loved each other, have a great marriage; but I was pretty consumed, and <em>this<\/em> child would need a lot of me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you loved what you were doing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, the child was an interruption.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about that for a second because there are a lot of women who are listening, who like their job\u2014they like what they are doing.\u00a0 They are involved in it.\u00a0 It\u2019s fulfilling, it\u2019s rewarding\u2014and they find out they\u2019re pregnant.\u00a0 For them, they\u2019re just\u2014they have some of this ambivalence that you were feeling.\u00a0 They\u2019re thinking, \u201cOkay, I can do it all.\u00a0 I can be the great mom.\u00a0 I can stay with one foot in the business.\u00a0 I can do all of this.\u201d\u00a0 You walked some of that path.\u00a0 How achievable is that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s achievable if you don\u2019t expect perfection.\u00a0 If you can take this, all of these subjects that you are dealing with, all of these areas of your life\u2014motherhood, your husband, your business\u2014and know that you are not going to be perfect in all of them.\u00a0 I think the biggest challenge is being willing to accept sometimes, \u201cNot good enough;\u201d but at the same time, I wouldn\u2019t have traded my life.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t have done it any other way.\u00a0 My daughters were part of everything we did, and we were part of everything they did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was more\u2014it was a family business.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know the feminist message a number of years ago\u2014you don\u2019t hear it as much now but back when there was\u2014it felt like there was more of a battle taking place for mind-share among women who were mothers\u2014was you need to seek your own fulfillment; and you need to get it in the marketplace.\u00a0 Had you bought into that a bit?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 To a degree.\u00a0 I think for me I just liked challenges.\u00a0 Whatever it was, whatever business venture\u2014I liked a new challenge.\u00a0 I liked to see if I could pull it off.\u00a0 It was more personal than it was corporate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I can honestly say is\u2014I can look back at my life and say, \u201cI had this successful concert.\u00a0 I had this successful band.\u00a0 Our record company sold multimillion records.\u201d\u00a0 I could say all of that, but those days\u2014that was then.\u00a0 The <em>lasting<\/em> thing that I did was raise my daughters.\u00a0 The thing that matters\u2014now, in the world, are my daughters.\u00a0\u00a0 Everything was great.\u00a0 I loved doing every single bit of it, but the most fulfilling job you can have is raising your daughters.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, if Barbara was here, she\u2019d agree with you.\u00a0 She\u2019s accomplished a lot as a woman\u2014very gifted.\u00a0 She\u2019s good at a lot of things.\u00a0 She\u2019s an artist, she\u2019s a writer, she does a little speaking, does a little radio here on <em>FamilyLife Today;<\/em> but she would say that her greatest contribution to this world is six children.\u00a0 Now, she\u2019s busy about making a contribution into the lives of 18 grandchildren; okay?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh!!\u00a0 That\u2019s great.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s all about the call of motherhood\u2014to give your life on behalf of the next generation.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you\u2019re saying; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 If you think\u2014any other accomplishment, whether it is\u2014let\u2019s say you\u2019re a lawyer.\u00a0 You write a contract\u2014that\u2019s short-term.\u00a0 Let\u2019s say you\u2019re in auto manufacturing\u2014that\u2019s short-term.\u00a0 Anything that you do is short-term.\u00a0 Your children\u2014what they become is a complete by-product of what your investment is in them\u2014and then, what their children become\u2014and their children become\u2014and the lives that are affected by those children that you affected.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s interesting to me because, given your background and all that you were involved with, when you sit down to write a book, there are a lot of things you could have written on\u2014just in terms of business, management, people you\u2019ve known, tips on how to get into the music business.\u00a0 I mean, you could have written on a whole variety of things.\u00a0 What your heart was drawn to was helping moms raise daughters because, at the end of the day, that\u2019s what matters the most; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is absolutely what matters the most.\u00a0 Of all the jobs that I took on,\u2014and I consider motherhood a job.\u00a0 I think one of the misnomers is that a lot of moms just go, \u201cWell, I\u2019m a mom.\u201d\u00a0 They have so many jobs they have to fulfill as a mom\u2014careers that they have to perform within the definition of motherhood.\u00a0 It\u2019s a job you need to commit to.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t say, \u201cI got pregnant.\u00a0 I\u2019m having a baby.\u201d\u00a0 You say, \u201cI\u2019m committing to this job of motherhood.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You organized the book around all of these job descriptions\u2014these hats that a mom wears, the different aspects of her vocation\u2014and try to address it, aspect by aspect ,to talk about what\u2019s involved in being a mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 Each chapter has its own specific purpose and title.\u00a0 It is academic advisor.\u00a0 It is creative counselor.\u00a0 You can look at sex-ed teacher\u2014we all have to deal with that one.\u00a0 There are multiple jobs within motherhood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Which was the hardest for you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Probably, sex-ed, to be honest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because I committed to saying anything\u2014telling them anything\u2014you know, it\u2019s not that it was hard.\u00a0 It was that it was such a commitment\u2014all of them are\u2014but it was a commitment to answer anything\u2014which I think is a big part of motherhood anyway.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s back to the title of your project, <em>Grit &amp; Grace<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, if you\u2019re talking about something that\u2019s pretty gritty to answer and to roll up your sleeves and say, \u201cOkay, let\u2019s talk about this,\u201d but tackle it head-on\u2014the thing that Barbara and I talked about repeatedly, as we raised ours was, \u201cWould we rather our children hear about this from the world\u2014with its own set of lack of standards, and lack of morality, and with its own twists and turns\u2014or would we rather our children hear about that issue from us?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, and I think there is nothing that should be off limits between you and your children.\u00a0 Anything should be able to be talked about\u2014even if you, as the parent, don\u2019t want to hear some of the things they\u2019re saying, or they\u2019re thinking about, or they\u2019re pondering, or they\u2019re facing\u2014even if you don\u2019t want to hear it, you need to hear it.\u00a0 You need for them to feel that when they walk in and open their mouth to say something to you\u2014you are going to respond rationally.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to respond thoughtfully.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to respond in such a way that they feel confident and they trust you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What was the hardest thing you heard, as a mom, from one of your daughters?\u00a0 What was the time that comes back to you when you\u2014I\u2019m thinking about things that they might have said about themselves, about their lives, about their dreams or aspirations, where you were thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s not what I want to hear.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely.\u00a0 I think one of the most difficult was when my eldest daughter went to college.\u00a0 She\u2019s in film now.\u00a0 That\u2019s what she always wanted to be; and she\u2019s heading toward being a producer, and doing a great job.\u00a0 When she left to go to college\u2014we sent her to Viola University in California\u2014great college\u2014but we knew she was going to Hollywood.\u00a0 So, it was, \u201cAlright, let\u2019s at least find some bridge.\u201d\u00a0 They had film; they had Bible.\u00a0 Every semester, it would be, \u201cWhat am I taking, Mom?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOkay, film and Bible.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cHow about Bible and film?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s do film and Bible.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 That was it for four semesters; and then, she quit and went to Hollywood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we were sitting on her luggage and she and I were getting ready to go put on the plane, she looked at me and said, \u201cMom, you know, I\u2019m going to be a producer.\u00a0 You know I\u2019m a Christian, but God better not get in my way.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, I understand.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cYou know I\u2019m ambitious, and you know I know where I want to go.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to tell you something, Sweetie.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the deal\u2014life is hard.\u00a0 \u2018Life is hard, and you do it on your own,\u2019 or, \u2018Life is hard, and you have a Savior and a Friend Who will do it with you.\u2019\u00a0 So, there are two roads.\u00a0 Both of them are hard, but one of them has some help.\u00a0 The choice is yours.\u00a0 It\u2019s no longer mine.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did she respond to that?\u00a0 She said, \u201cI hear you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She shrugged!\u00a0 She shrugged and went to California.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you go home, praying like crazy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Praying like crazy and saying, \u201cGod, whatever it takes for her to surrender her life to You.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 What it took was she totaled her car in California and called me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chip off the old block!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 You know, it\u2019s the truth!\u00a0 That\u2019s sad!\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Hey, I didn\u2019t total mine; okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just \u201cpartial-ed\u201d yours?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just \u201cpartial-ed\u201d mine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know\u2014but at that moment\u2014I\u2019m picturing that moment.\u00a0 The easiest thing, as a parent, to do is either lecture, and point their finger at the child, and really put the guilt trip on them, or to say nothing, and punt, and just be a friend to the child.\u00a0 In fact, there is some recent research out that indicates that parents of teenagers think the goal\u201443 percent think that the goal is to be a friend with your son or daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I hear you saying, in your book, is\u2014you\u2019re calling moms to a noble profession, but you\u2019re capturing all of it in the concept of being a coach.\u00a0 What you became at that moment, sitting on those suitcases with your daughter\u2014you were saying, \u201cOkay, Sweetie, if you want to say to God, \u2018If He gets in my way\u2026\u2019 you can say that; but let me just tell you, as your mom and as your coach, what\u2019s going to happen.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what you did; wasn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and that\u2019s what you have to do on every subject.\u00a0 You are absolutely right.\u00a0 The first chapter, after my introduction, is called \u201cCoach\u201d because before you do anything else, you have to take that position.\u00a0 You have to be the one to instruct.\u00a0 You have to be the one to encourage.\u00a0 You have to be the one to bench them.\u00a0 You have to be the one that even takes care of the injuries.\u00a0 You have to do it all.\u00a0 You have to be the coach.\u00a0 That\u2019s just it.\u00a0 You\u2019re partnering\u2014in some ways, you are partnering with your child on them starting as an infant and growing into a productive adult.\u00a0 You can\u2019t do it for them; but at the same time, you can\u2019t let them loose to do it for themselves.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Today, your daughter is a producer in Hollywood?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She is.\u00a0 Right now, she is a post-production coordinator in L.A.\u00a0 She just finished a production in Pittsburgh.\u00a0 She\u2019s doing that until January.\u00a0 Then, she\u2019s going on to a location to another film.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is she doing it God\u2019s way; or is she still kind of pushing back?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s absolutely doing its God\u2019s way\u2014absolutely.\u00a0 She\u2019s in the trenches with a lot of people who don\u2019t know the Lord.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s in\u2014she\u2019s in a culture that is very different than most of America.\u00a0 She\u2019s doing it so well, and she loves those people so much.\u00a0 I\u2019m really proud of her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, if you\u2019re a mom, and you\u2019re listening to this, from time to time, that job assignment becomes wearisome.\u00a0 You need encouragement from someone who has been there, done that, and who\u2019s lost hope and perspective at times.\u00a0 I think Darlene Brock has done a great job, in her book, of kind of distilling out the essence of what the major roles of being a mom are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not a preachy book.\u00a0 It\u2019s an honest, authentic look at how one mom\u2014and some other moms\u2014have coached their daughters to become the women they are today.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage our listeners to get a copy of it, and maybe pass it on to a friend.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you said, the mother\/daughter relationship may be the harder of the two.\u00a0 So, to have a little help, a little coaching, would be beneficial.\u00a0 Darlene provides that in the book, <em>Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters<\/em>, which we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You\u2019ll also find the link online to <em>The<\/em> <em>Grit &amp; Grace Project<\/em> that Darlene Brock heads up.\u00a0 Look for that link, as well.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also request a copy of the book when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 That\u2019s our toll-free number.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention\u2014I\u2019ve mentioned it already this week\u2014the <em>Life Ready<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video curriculum that our team has put together.\u00a0 It features Shaunti Feldhahn.\u00a0 It\u2019s designed to help women focus on the top priorities that they face as women, to understand what those priorities are, and make sure that that\u2019s where you\u2019re investing.\u00a0 We\u2019re getting a lot of great feedback from women who are going through this material with other women in their neighborhood, or using it in a small group setting, using it with the women\u2019s group at church.\u00a0 Find out more about the <em>Life Ready Woman<\/em> video curriculum with Shaunti Feldhahn when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or give us a call, toll-free, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we\u2019ve had some exciting news, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We had some friends of the ministry, who we were meeting with not long ago; and they were hearing about a project that we\u2019ve been working on.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been taking material from Dennis Rainey\u2019s book for men called <em>Stepping Up:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em> and we\u2019re putting together a video series designed to challenge men to step up and be men.\u00a0 These folks got excited about the project; and they said, \u201cWe want to help make sure you\u2019ve got the funds you need to get it done; but we also want to encourage <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to be a part of this project, as well.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they offered to do was to match all of the donations we receive during the month of May on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $435,000.\u00a0 That\u2019s going to help us\u2014not only cover the costs of producing this radio program\u2014but also, it will help us with the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video project and the other things we\u2019re doing here at <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> as well.\u00a0 We\u2019re asking you if you would consider, this month, making a donation.\u00a0 When you do that, that donation is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great time for you to call us, or go online and make a $25-, $50-, $100-donation\u2014whatever you\u2019re able to afford.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s going to take all of our listeners coming together for us to be able to match that $435,000 amount.\u00a0 So, would you consider, today, going to FamilyLifeToday.com, clicking the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and making an online donation; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329\u2014make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Again, your donation will be matched dollar-for-dollar when you get in touch with us.\u00a0 We want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance for whatever you are able to do in support of our ministry; and we appreciate hearing from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue our conversation about moms raising daughters.\u00a0 Our guest is Darlene Brock.\u00a0 She\u2019ll be back with us.\u00a0 Hope you can be back with us, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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Darlene Brock found out, at the age of 27, that she was pregnant she cried for a month.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-05-03.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 After working for more than 30 years in the music industry, Darlene Brock has a lot of professional accomplishments she can point to; but when she looks at her life, that\u2019s not where she points.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 The lasting thing that I did was raise my daughters.\u00a0 The thing that matters now in the world are my daughters.\u00a0 So, everything was great.\u00a0 I loved doing every single bit of it, but the most fulfilling job you can have is raising your daughters.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, May 3<sup>rd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Darlene Brock joins us today to help moms with a job description for what it looks like to raise girls.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019ve asked you this question before, but it was years ago.\u00a0 I just want to see if you answer it the same way now as you did back then.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Degree of difficulty: moms raising boys, moms raising girls\u2014we\u2019ll stop there.\u00a0 Which is harder?\u00a0 Is it harder for moms to raise boys or harder for moms to raise girls?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Harder to raise girls than boys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why do you say that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, first of all, they are the same sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is this\u2014it\u2019s not opposites attracting; it\u2019s\u2014a mom knows how a girl thinks.\u00a0 So, you just got some natural clashing, some competition, some rebellion, little smart-aleck stuff that takes place.\u00a0 You know, we loved our sons and our daughters.\u00a0 Our daughters were just more challenging.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 For both of you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, for\u2014oh, absolutely!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 If you took all of our conversations that\u2014we had a date night on\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not just because it was a two-to-one ratio because you had four girls and two boys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 We had a date night on Sunday night, and we\u2019d go out.\u00a0 It was the CEO and the COO getting together, talking about how we operate this deal, and where we were headed, and what the challenges were this week.\u00a0 The boys were simple.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Feed them.\u00a0 Leave them in their room for a while; they\u2019ll get better; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you take them hunting; and if they don\u2019t do well, you leave them in the woods.\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 You can\u2019t do that with a girl!\u00a0 You can\u2019t do that!\u00a0 Again, we loved them both.\u00a0 It was one of the greatest privileges of our lives; and I know right now, if you called Barbara, it\u2019d be hands down.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Girls were harder than the boys?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s\u2014well, I can\u2019t ask our guest because she didn\u2019t have any boys.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I did not.\u00a0 Two girls\u2014that was enough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the voice of Darlene Brock who joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Darlene, welcome to the broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.\u00a0 Good to be here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You, undoubtedly, had a few challenges with your daughters in raising them.\u00a0 I got to give a little background on you.\u00a0 In fact, I should let Bob do this.\u00a0 I mean, I actually thought about just leaving and letting you two talk music because of your backgrounds in the music industry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Darlene and her husband Dan and I met back in about\u2014it would have been about 1980 or 81.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They were married in 1978.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They were involved with helping DeGarmo &amp; Key, the\u2014some listeners will go, \u201cI\u2019ve heard of them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Petra.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Back in the day\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014Bob and Jayne Farrell, Farrell and Farrell, and started ForeFront Records and DC Talk.\u00a0 We just kind of hung out in a lot of different places; didn\u2019t we?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 We sure did, and you just went down a whole lot of life right there.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Darlene has written a book called <em>Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>It\u2019s a part of a bigger project called <em>The Grit &amp; Grace<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me explain.\u00a0 This\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014<em>Project<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014is not Grits and Grace.\u00a0 That would be a southern project.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 That would be a southern\u2014but this is more universal than that.\u00a0 Absolutely; yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Explain that project to our listeners.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m a firm believer that every female in every area of her life has to deal with life with grit and grace\u2014whether it is parenting, whether it is relationships, whether it\u2019s career, home front\u2014you have to have both.\u00a0 What I mean by that is grit\u2014indomitable strength, facing difficulty, and \u201cDon\u2019t back down\u201d\u2014because you have to as a female.\u00a0 I know men do, too; but females, we need to stand a lot stronger than we do at times.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 If we do the standing only and don\u2019t absorb grace into it, we turn into some really ugly women.\u00a0 So, grit and grace\u2014equally important and equally necessary to achieve anything.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You had a model of grit and grace growing up; didn\u2019t you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 My great grandmother, Grandma Bunger\u2014that woman was under five foot tall, probably, did not weigh a hundred pounds\u2014but nobody messed with her.\u00a0 She had 12 kids\u2014loved them all; raised them all.\u00a0 I saw her run through the house with a broom after my great uncle one time because he had come home\u2014he\u2019d drunk a little bit he shouldn\u2019t have drunk, and he was being a little ornery.\u00a0 He ran for his life\u2014250 pounds, running through the house, out the front door.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And a hundred pounds\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s a hundred pounds.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014with a broom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A hundred pounds with a broom.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If she had caught him, what would she have done with him?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hit him.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure she\u2019d have hit him over the head, and he would have cowered.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 She was amazing.\u00a0 She was my example of what a great woman is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, during the research on you for being a guest here on<em> FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014we did a little bit of a FBI background check and touched base with the highway patrol.\u00a0 Our understanding is you\u2019ve set a record for the most number of accidents, early on in your driving career.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Yes, I did.\u00a0 Growing up, mostly my teenage years\u2014at least let me make that disclaimer\u2014most of them were in my teenage years\u2014not all\u2014but I did put a car in a swamp.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wrote this book on being a mom.\u00a0 You begin this book telling stories about all your car accidents because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because one of the last ones that I had was when I found out I was pregnant for my first child.\u00a0 I had an auto accident.\u00a0 I was rear-ended.\u00a0 Fortunately, this one wasn\u2019t my fault\u2014others were.\u00a0 This one wasn\u2019t.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t feel good.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t feel good for a few days, a few weeks, and thought, \u201cBoy!\u00a0 That was a really rough accident.\u201d\u00a0 I started realizing I probably should look at the calendar.\u00a0 I probably should count days.\u00a0 At that time, I had to go see my doctor to get proof of pregnancy because I thought, \u201cMaybe.\u201d\u00a0 Well, indeed, he smiled; he congratulated me.\u00a0 I ran out the door crying because I thought I\u2019d just figured out how to be a grown-up.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019ve got another human to deal with; and it scared me to death.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How long had you been married?\u00a0 How old were you when you found out you were pregnant with your first child?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was 27.\u00a0 We\u2019d been married four years, and I had been on my own since I was 18.\u00a0 You\u2019d have thought I could figure out life by then.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, Dar\u2014I mean, you\u2019ve had enough time\u201427.\u00a0 I mean, I would think you\u2019d go, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m ready for this;\u201d but you didn\u2019t feel like you were ready for it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I was smart enough to know it was a bigger job than I had ever done for anything else.\u00a0 Any mistake I made wasn\u2019t just going to affect me or my husband\u2014we were grown-ups\u2014it was going to affect my daughter or my son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, after finding out and after stopping crying\u2014you said in your book you cried for a month.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Why?\u00a0 I mean\u2014okay, it\u2019s a big responsibility.\u00a0 Why would you cry for a month\u2014around\u2014about that though?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 I could say hormones, but I think it was fear.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You weren\u2019t really looking forward to it at all?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Not at all.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that I didn\u2019t want to, one day, be a mom.\u00a0 I thought it was a great thing to be.\u00a0 What a wonderful opportunity in life is to be a mother\u2014to have this child, this baby, this toddler, this\u2014I couldn\u2019t have said teenager but\u2014to have this wonderful other human in my life.\u00a0 It was something that I looked forward to <em>one day<\/em>, but I really was afraid.\u00a0 I really was afraid that I wouldn\u2019t do it right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Was part of the reason you weren\u2019t ready to be a mom\u2014I mean, you were involved\u2014you and your husband were both in the Christian music world.\u00a0 You were managing bands, you were\u2014this was before you started a record company, but that was on the horizon for you.\u00a0 It was kind of an exciting life you were living.\u00a0 Was your thinking at all, \u201cBoy, this child is inconvenient at this time\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Inconvenient, no; but I was busy.\u00a0 We were building businesses, we were travelling, we were dealing with all kinds of humans and relationships in our business, and we were working unbelievably long days.\u00a0 How was I going to do that?\u00a0 My husband and I were business partners, best friends\u2014loved each other, have a great marriage; but I was pretty consumed, and <em>this<\/em> child would need a lot of me.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you loved what you were doing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, the child was an interruption.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s talk about that for a second because there are a lot of women who are listening, who like their job\u2014they like what they are doing.\u00a0 They are involved in it.\u00a0 It\u2019s fulfilling, it\u2019s rewarding\u2014and they find out they\u2019re pregnant.\u00a0 For them, they\u2019re just\u2014they have some of this ambivalence that you were feeling.\u00a0 They\u2019re thinking, \u201cOkay, I can do it all.\u00a0 I can be the great mom.\u00a0 I can stay with one foot in the business.\u00a0 I can do all of this.\u201d\u00a0 You walked some of that path.\u00a0 How achievable is that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s achievable if you don\u2019t expect perfection.\u00a0 If you can take this, all of these subjects that you are dealing with, all of these areas of your life\u2014motherhood, your husband, your business\u2014and know that you are not going to be perfect in all of them.\u00a0 I think the biggest challenge is being willing to accept sometimes, \u201cNot good enough;\u201d but at the same time, I wouldn\u2019t have traded my life.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t have done it any other way.\u00a0 My daughters were part of everything we did, and we were part of everything they did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was more\u2014it was a family business.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know the feminist message a number of years ago\u2014you don\u2019t hear it as much now but back when there was\u2014it felt like there was more of a battle taking place for mind-share among women who were mothers\u2014was you need to seek your own fulfillment; and you need to get it in the marketplace.\u00a0 Had you bought into that a bit?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 To a degree.\u00a0 I think for me I just liked challenges.\u00a0 Whatever it was, whatever business venture\u2014I liked a new challenge.\u00a0 I liked to see if I could pull it off.\u00a0 It was more personal than it was corporate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I can honestly say is\u2014I can look back at my life and say, \u201cI had this successful concert.\u00a0 I had this successful band.\u00a0 Our record company sold multimillion records.\u201d\u00a0 I could say all of that, but those days\u2014that was then.\u00a0 The <em>lasting<\/em> thing that I did was raise my daughters.\u00a0 The thing that matters\u2014now, in the world, are my daughters.\u00a0\u00a0 Everything was great.\u00a0 I loved doing every single bit of it, but the most fulfilling job you can have is raising your daughters.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, if Barbara was here, she\u2019d agree with you.\u00a0 She\u2019s accomplished a lot as a woman\u2014very gifted.\u00a0 She\u2019s good at a lot of things.\u00a0 She\u2019s an artist, she\u2019s a writer, she does a little speaking, does a little radio here on <em>FamilyLife Today;<\/em> but she would say that her greatest contribution to this world is six children.\u00a0 Now, she\u2019s busy about making a contribution into the lives of 18 grandchildren; okay?\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh!!\u00a0 That\u2019s great.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s all about the call of motherhood\u2014to give your life on behalf of the next generation.\u00a0 That\u2019s what you\u2019re saying; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 If you think\u2014any other accomplishment, whether it is\u2014let\u2019s say you\u2019re a lawyer.\u00a0 You write a contract\u2014that\u2019s short-term.\u00a0 Let\u2019s say you\u2019re in auto manufacturing\u2014that\u2019s short-term.\u00a0 Anything that you do is short-term.\u00a0 Your children\u2014what they become is a complete by-product of what your investment is in them\u2014and then, what their children become\u2014and their children become\u2014and the lives that are affected by those children that you affected.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s interesting to me because, given your background and all that you were involved with, when you sit down to write a book, there are a lot of things you could have written on\u2014just in terms of business, management, people you\u2019ve known, tips on how to get into the music business.\u00a0 I mean, you could have written on a whole variety of things.\u00a0 What your heart was drawn to was helping moms raise daughters because, at the end of the day, that\u2019s what matters the most; isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is absolutely what matters the most.\u00a0 Of all the jobs that I took on,\u2014and I consider motherhood a job.\u00a0 I think one of the misnomers is that a lot of moms just go, \u201cWell, I\u2019m a mom.\u201d\u00a0 They have so many jobs they have to fulfill as a mom\u2014careers that they have to perform within the definition of motherhood.\u00a0 It\u2019s a job you need to commit to.\u00a0 You just don\u2019t say, \u201cI got pregnant.\u00a0 I\u2019m having a baby.\u201d\u00a0 You say, \u201cI\u2019m committing to this job of motherhood.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You organized the book around all of these job descriptions\u2014these hats that a mom wears, the different aspects of her vocation\u2014and try to address it, aspect by aspect ,to talk about what\u2019s involved in being a mom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 I did.\u00a0 Each chapter has its own specific purpose and title.\u00a0 It is academic advisor.\u00a0 It is creative counselor.\u00a0 You can look at sex-ed teacher\u2014we all have to deal with that one.\u00a0 There are multiple jobs within motherhood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Which was the hardest for you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Probably, sex-ed, to be honest.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because I committed to saying anything\u2014telling them anything\u2014you know, it\u2019s not that it was hard.\u00a0 It was that it was such a commitment\u2014all of them are\u2014but it was a commitment to answer anything\u2014which I think is a big part of motherhood anyway.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s back to the title of your project, <em>Grit &amp; Grace<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, if you\u2019re talking about something that\u2019s pretty gritty to answer and to roll up your sleeves and say, \u201cOkay, let\u2019s talk about this,\u201d but tackle it head-on\u2014the thing that Barbara and I talked about repeatedly, as we raised ours was, \u201cWould we rather our children hear about this from the world\u2014with its own set of lack of standards, and lack of morality, and with its own twists and turns\u2014or would we rather our children hear about that issue from us?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, and I think there is nothing that should be off limits between you and your children.\u00a0 Anything should be able to be talked about\u2014even if you, as the parent, don\u2019t want to hear some of the things they\u2019re saying, or they\u2019re thinking about, or they\u2019re pondering, or they\u2019re facing\u2014even if you don\u2019t want to hear it, you need to hear it.\u00a0 You need for them to feel that when they walk in and open their mouth to say something to you\u2014you are going to respond rationally.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to respond thoughtfully.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to respond in such a way that they feel confident and they trust you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What was the hardest thing you heard, as a mom, from one of your daughters?\u00a0 What was the time that comes back to you when you\u2014I\u2019m thinking about things that they might have said about themselves, about their lives, about their dreams or aspirations, where you were thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s not what I want to hear.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Absolutely.\u00a0 I think one of the most difficult was when my eldest daughter went to college.\u00a0 She\u2019s in film now.\u00a0 That\u2019s what she always wanted to be; and she\u2019s heading toward being a producer, and doing a great job.\u00a0 When she left to go to college\u2014we sent her to Viola University in California\u2014great college\u2014but we knew she was going to Hollywood.\u00a0 So, it was, \u201cAlright, let\u2019s at least find some bridge.\u201d\u00a0 They had film; they had Bible.\u00a0 Every semester, it would be, \u201cWhat am I taking, Mom?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOkay, film and Bible.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cHow about Bible and film?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cLet\u2019s do film and Bible.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 That was it for four semesters; and then, she quit and went to Hollywood.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we were sitting on her luggage and she and I were getting ready to go put on the plane, she looked at me and said, \u201cMom, you know, I\u2019m going to be a producer.\u00a0 You know I\u2019m a Christian, but God better not get in my way.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, I understand.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cYou know I\u2019m ambitious, and you know I know where I want to go.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI\u2019m going to tell you something, Sweetie.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the deal\u2014life is hard.\u00a0 \u2018Life is hard, and you do it on your own,\u2019 or, \u2018Life is hard, and you have a Savior and a Friend Who will do it with you.\u2019\u00a0 So, there are two roads.\u00a0 Both of them are hard, but one of them has some help.\u00a0 The choice is yours.\u00a0 It\u2019s no longer mine.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did she respond to that?\u00a0 She said, \u201cI hear you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She shrugged!\u00a0 She shrugged and went to California.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you go home, praying like crazy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Praying like crazy and saying, \u201cGod, whatever it takes for her to surrender her life to You.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 What it took was she totaled her car in California and called me\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chip off the old block!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 You know, it\u2019s the truth!\u00a0 That\u2019s sad!\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Hey, I didn\u2019t total mine; okay?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just \u201cpartial-ed\u201d yours?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just \u201cpartial-ed\u201d mine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know\u2014but at that moment\u2014I\u2019m picturing that moment.\u00a0 The easiest thing, as a parent, to do is either lecture, and point their finger at the child, and really put the guilt trip on them, or to say nothing, and punt, and just be a friend to the child.\u00a0 In fact, there is some recent research out that indicates that parents of teenagers think the goal\u201443 percent think that the goal is to be a friend with your son or daughter.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I hear you saying, in your book, is\u2014you\u2019re calling moms to a noble profession, but you\u2019re capturing all of it in the concept of being a coach.\u00a0 What you became at that moment, sitting on those suitcases with your daughter\u2014you were saying, \u201cOkay, Sweetie, if you want to say to God, \u2018If He gets in my way\u2026\u2019 you can say that; but let me just tell you, as your mom and as your coach, what\u2019s going to happen.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what you did; wasn\u2019t it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and that\u2019s what you have to do on every subject.\u00a0 You are absolutely right.\u00a0 The first chapter, after my introduction, is called \u201cCoach\u201d because before you do anything else, you have to take that position.\u00a0 You have to be the one to instruct.\u00a0 You have to be the one to encourage.\u00a0 You have to be the one to bench them.\u00a0 You have to be the one that even takes care of the injuries.\u00a0 You have to do it all.\u00a0 You have to be the coach.\u00a0 That\u2019s just it.\u00a0 You\u2019re partnering\u2014in some ways, you are partnering with your child on them starting as an infant and growing into a productive adult.\u00a0 You can\u2019t do it for them; but at the same time, you can\u2019t let them loose to do it for themselves.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Today, your daughter is a producer in Hollywood?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She is.\u00a0 Right now, she is a post-production coordinator in L.A.\u00a0 She just finished a production in Pittsburgh.\u00a0 She\u2019s doing that until January.\u00a0 Then, she\u2019s going on to a location to another film.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is she doing it God\u2019s way; or is she still kind of pushing back?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s absolutely doing its God\u2019s way\u2014absolutely.\u00a0 She\u2019s in the trenches with a lot of people who don\u2019t know the Lord.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Darlene:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s in\u2014she\u2019s in a culture that is very different than most of America.\u00a0 She\u2019s doing it so well, and she loves those people so much.\u00a0 I\u2019m really proud of her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, if you\u2019re a mom, and you\u2019re listening to this, from time to time, that job assignment becomes wearisome.\u00a0 You need encouragement from someone who has been there, done that, and who\u2019s lost hope and perspective at times.\u00a0 I think Darlene Brock has done a great job, in her book, of kind of distilling out the essence of what the major roles of being a mom are.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s not a preachy book.\u00a0 It\u2019s an honest, authentic look at how one mom\u2014and some other moms\u2014have coached their daughters to become the women they are today.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage our listeners to get a copy of it, and maybe pass it on to a friend.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you said, the mother\/daughter relationship may be the harder of the two.\u00a0 So, to have a little help, a little coaching, would be beneficial.\u00a0 Darlene provides that in the book, <em>Help Wanted: Moms Raising Daughters<\/em>, which we\u2019ve got in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You\u2019ll also find the link online to <em>The<\/em> <em>Grit &amp; Grace Project<\/em> that Darlene Brock heads up.\u00a0 Look for that link, as well.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also request a copy of the book when you call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 That\u2019s our toll-free number.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention\u2014I\u2019ve mentioned it already this week\u2014the <em>Life Ready<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> video curriculum that our team has put together.\u00a0 It features Shaunti Feldhahn.\u00a0 It\u2019s designed to help women focus on the top priorities that they face as women, to understand what those priorities are, and make sure that that\u2019s where you\u2019re investing.\u00a0 We\u2019re getting a lot of great feedback from women who are going through this material with other women in their neighborhood, or using it in a small group setting, using it with the women\u2019s group at church.\u00a0 Find out more about the <em>Life Ready Woman<\/em> video curriculum with Shaunti Feldhahn when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or give us a call, toll-free, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we\u2019ve had some exciting news, here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We had some friends of the ministry, who we were meeting with not long ago; and they were hearing about a project that we\u2019ve been working on.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been taking material from Dennis Rainey\u2019s book for men called <em>Stepping Up:<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em> and we\u2019re putting together a video series designed to challenge men to step up and be men.\u00a0 These folks got excited about the project; and they said, \u201cWe want to help make sure you\u2019ve got the funds you need to get it done; but we also want to encourage <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to be a part of this project, as well.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat they offered to do was to match all of the donations we receive during the month of May on a dollar-for-dollar basis, up to a total of $435,000.\u00a0 That\u2019s going to help us\u2014not only cover the costs of producing this radio program\u2014but also, it will help us with the <em>Stepping Up<\/em> video project and the other things we\u2019re doing here at <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> as well.\u00a0 We\u2019re asking you if you would consider, this month, making a donation.\u00a0 When you do that, that donation is going to be matched dollar-for-dollar.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great time for you to call us, or go online and make a $25-, $50-, $100-donation\u2014whatever you\u2019re able to afford.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s going to take all of our listeners coming together for us to be able to match that $435,000 amount.\u00a0 So, would you consider, today, going to FamilyLifeToday.com, clicking the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and making an online donation; or call us, toll-free, at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329\u2014make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 Again, your donation will be matched dollar-for-dollar when you get in touch with us.\u00a0 We want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance for whatever you are able to do in support of our ministry; and we appreciate hearing from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to continue our conversation about moms raising daughters.\u00a0 Our guest is Darlene Brock.\u00a0 She\u2019ll be back with us.\u00a0 Hope you can be back with us, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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