{"id":302506,"date":"2012-04-20T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-04-20T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/getting-him-ready-for-the-opposite-sex\/"},"modified":"2012-04-20T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-04-20T15:00:00","slug":"getting-him-ready-for-the-opposite-sex","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/getting-him-ready-for-the-opposite-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Him Ready for the Opposite Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What does your son know, and believe, about women?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-20.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.59M","filesize_raw":"23689021","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2835,2836,2855],"tags":[5206,5207],"podcast_series":[7870],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302506","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raising-boys","category-raising-girls","category-teens","tag-aggressive-girls","tag-passive-boys","podcast_series-aggressive-girls","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302506\/getting-him-ready-for-the-opposite-sex","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302506\/getting-him-ready-for-the-opposite-sex","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"aCWaNeFepc\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/getting-him-ready-for-the-opposite-sex\/\">Getting Him Ready for the Opposite Sex<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/getting-him-ready-for-the-opposite-sex\/embed\/#?secret=aCWaNeFepc\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Getting Him Ready for the Opposite Sex&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"aCWaNeFepc\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-20.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-20.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are some very important conversations that a father needs to have with his son, as his son is growing up.\u00a0 One of those conversations has to do with establishing some boundaries around what you\u2019re interaction with members of the opposite sex is going to look like.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the deal\u2014humans dislike boundaries; but it\u2019s within the context of boundaries that relationships flourish\u2014and really, we all do life.\u00a0 So, you, as a young man, need to have some boundaries, some fences, some ways to protect your life, your soul, from dangerous situations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, April 20<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 A conversation about boundaries is not the only one you need to have with your son as he is going through his teenage years.\u00a0 We\u2019ll outline a few more of those conversations for you today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 I\u2019m just wondering how many young men\u2014last night, after dinner, dad said, \u201cYou know, son, come over here.\u00a0 I want to have a talk with you.\u201d\u00a0 Dad\u2014all of a sudden, because of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, these sons are getting conversations that they never expected and didn\u2019t know were going to come their way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, these are the same guys who may have asked a young lady out, whose dad\u2014the young lady\u2019s dad\u2014has heard <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> talking about <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This poor kid is going to get it both ways; isn\u2019t he?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0\u00a0 That is not a bad idea!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really isn\u2019t a bad idea.\u00a0 In fact, I would like to encourage those of you have your children, perhaps, in Christian school or a private school\u2014where you might be able to make it a class project, where you take the entire six grade class through <em>Passport to Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Passport to Purity<\/em> is designed for the mothers and the daughters to get away, Friday and Saturday; and the fathers and the sons to get away, Friday and Saturday.\u00a0 It\u2019s for ten-, 11-, and 12-year-olds.\u00a0 You could take it back to the fifth grade, if you wanted to.\u00a0 Then, as they move into adolescence, you begin to engage at this level\u2014what we\u2019re talking about today\u2014which is helping your sons know how to deal with aggressive girls; specifically, girls who are coming on to them sexually.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You have just recently finished a book on this subject.\u00a0 It really came out of the book you wrote on\u2014<em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>, where you coached dads on how to have the conversation with the young man before he takes the girl out on a date.\u00a0 We heard from folks saying, \u201cWait a sec!\u00a0 We\u2019ve got an issue here because it\u2019s my son who is being pressured.\u00a0 He\u2019s getting asked out on dates, and it\u2019s more than just being asked out on dates that\u2019s going on with him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you suggested a number of conversations that a mom or a dad ought to be having with a son as he moves into adolescence to get him ready for some of the pressure he may be facing from girls during his teen years.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got your wife Barbara back with us on today\u2019s program.\u00a0 Barbara, good to have you here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Dennis, real quickly, just give us the conversations we\u2019ve already talked about this week\u2014just review those for us so a mom or a dad knows where to start as you have these talks with your son.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we\u2019re talking about seven conversations; and these are not stop-and-start conversations.\u00a0 These are\u2014they\u2019re not tweets; okay?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 They\u2019re not Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> posts.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 These are threads.\u00a0 These are ongoing threads.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All the way into adulthood.\u00a0 So, the first conversation you have, and you have, and you have, and you have repeatedly is the value of godly wisdom.\u00a0 That\u2019s godly skill in everyday living.\u00a0 It is calling your son away from focusing on himself and living life according to his own desires\u2014what he wants to do and how he wants to respond\u2014and instead, living life the way God wants him to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cMy son, listen to godly wisdom and don\u2019t be a fool;\u201d right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s the message of Proverbs.\u00a0 Conversation number two\u2014how you handle sexual temptation will be one of the biggest tests of your life.\u00a0 We shocked people by saying, \u201cThere\u2019s one bigger,\u201d even for a boy, than sexual temptation\u2014and that is pride.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 Between sex and pride, you\u2019ve nailed a bunch of temptation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A couple of deadly things, right there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Help your son know how to deal with that.\u00a0 Number three\u2014God created sex to be enjoyed within the marriage relationship.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about giving your son a noble picture of sex that is steered away from how it is portrayed on the internet, pornography, on prime-time major networks in the evening.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about a biblical approach to marriage and sex that God is not down on sex.\u00a0 He created it, but He created it to be enjoyed within marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Conversation number four\u2014the characteristics of an adulterous woman.\u00a0 We talked about, for a 13- or 14-year-old, that doesn\u2019t mean it is the street walker; but it may be somebody is walking by in the hallway at school\u2014who is just a young lady who is needy, who\u2019s looking for her emotional gas tank to be filled up.\u00a0 She thinks a young lad or boy can help do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She may be flirty.\u00a0 She may be dressing provocatively.\u00a0 She may just be looking for attention; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She may.\u00a0 That leads us to conversation number five.\u00a0 If you want to find out more about one through four, get the book; alright?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber five\u2014reject passivity as a young man and become proactive with girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mean, instead of them becoming aggressive with you, you become aggressive with them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it means that you, as a young man, were designed to initiate.\u00a0 That initiation really shouldn\u2019t be taken away from a young man by a young lady.\u00a0 Our culture has homogenized the sexes today\u2014where they say there is no difference.\u00a0 It is more of an egalitarian approach, \u201cShe can initiate; he can initiate.\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s no one who bears the imprint of being the one responsible for the relationship.\u00a0 I would have to say that is a lie.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Your son needs to understand that a man has a responsibility, when he gets married, to nourish, and cherish, and love, and sacrifice for his wife\u2014to be a servant leader.\u00a0 That all comes through initiation and self-sacrifice.\u00a0 He learns that\u2014that whole initiation process\u2014when he\u2019s a young man, as he begins to relate to the opposite sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wouldn\u2019t get\u2014personally, I wouldn\u2019t get real legalistic about this.\u00a0 If there was some kind of event at school that the girls invited the guys, I think we may have allowed that to occur on occasion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sadie-Hawkins Day is okay, Barbara?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s what we used to call it.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, you can get real tight on these things.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the issue.\u00a0 The issue is, \u201cWhat are you modeling for your sons?\u201d because trust me\u2014and listen to me\u2014we have enough passive young men and men today.\u00a0 We need men who fully assume their responsibility.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, I was watching a TV show, just recently.\u00a0 In the show, this couple, who\u2019s had this ongoing relationship\u2014it\u2019s moving toward marriage.\u00a0 It seemed on again, off again.\u00a0 Well, in the middle of the show, the girl drops down on one knee, and looks up at the man, and says, \u201cWill you marry me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s the proposal that he ought to be making.\u00a0 I thought part of the message that\u2019s being sent there is, \u201cThis can go either way;\u201d you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cYou can ask; he can ask.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t really matter.\u00a0 Either of us can do this.\u201d\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with that message?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, what\u2019s wrong with that message is that it is the man who should initiate the relationship.\u00a0 He is the one who, by getting down on one knee, is symbolizing, \u201cI will give my life for you.\u00a0 Will you let me serve you and love you for a lifetime?\u201d\u00a0 For the woman to do it for the man is backwards.\u00a0 It just doesn\u2019t make sense.\u00a0 It\u2019s not the way we were designed because the man was supposed to ask for her hand in marriage.\u00a0 Then, she is supposed to respond.\u00a0 When she asks and he responds, it\u2019s backwards.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014what is the Bible calling men to do?\u00a0 To lead, to love, to protect; and they are charged with this responsibility.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What you are saying is, \u201cYou need to help your son recognize that taking the lead is his responsibility.\u201d\u00a0 If a girl is being aggressive with him, should he say, \u201cHey, I\u2019ll take the lead in this\u201d?\u00a0 I mean, would you have him say that kind of thing to her?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I would.\u00a0 I\u2014you know, it\u2019s not a matter of some kind of spiritual pride of, \u201cHey, I\u2019m better than you,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019m a man.\u00a0 You should do this or that for me.\u201d\u00a0 No.\u00a0 It\u2019s just coaching your son to know how he needs to view his identity\u2014his address, as a man.\u00a0 He needs to define himself around being courageous\u2014to give his life for others.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, what\u2019s the sixth conversation you have?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are asking me to get off my soapbox, now; but I\u2019m going to get back on it, on this one, too.\u00a0 Conversation number six\u2014the value of boundaries.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the deal\u2014humans dislike boundaries, but it\u2019s within the context of boundaries, that relationships flourish\u2014and really, we all do life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOut where we live, there is a field that I drive by every morning and every evening on the way to work and on the way back from work.\u00a0 For a number of years, there was no fence for this field.\u00a0 Well, they built a fence because of 9\/11.\u00a0 It\u2019s a fence with\u2014it had barbed wire and razor wire on it.\u00a0 Not long after they built the fence, I noticed that the field began to be populated with deer.\u00a0 It was a safe place to go.\u00a0 This morning\u2014as I came to work, there were 20 deer in there\u2014cars whizzing by at 55 miles per hour.\u00a0 What happened?\u00a0 The boundaries of the fence created safety.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there has ever been a time in our sons\u2019\u2014and for that matter, our daughters\u2019\u2014where they needed some boundaries in their lives, some protection from outside forces that create safety and freedom to be who they really are, it\u2019s today.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m talking about boundaries with the opposite sex.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about being alone with them.\u00a0 You may say some of these are old-fashioned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I told my own sons, I don\u2019t want to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, who is not your mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t trust myself.\u00a0 Forget about trusting you, I don\u2019t trust myself in that situation.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 You, as a young man, need to have some boundaries, some fences\u2014some ways to protect your life, your soul\u2014from dangerous situations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, all of us don\u2019t like boundaries.\u00a0 There\u2019s something in our heart that says, \u201cI want to jump the fence.\u00a0 I want to do what I want to do.\u201d\u00a0 We have to help our sons see that that\u2019s their natural tendency and that boundaries are good for them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we do.\u00a0 I think illustrations, like Dennis just gave, with the deer with the fence\u2014or another story.\u00a0 We know of children on a playground that was not fenced.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t use all the playground; but once there was a fence built, the children used all of the playground.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe analogy is really a good one.\u00a0 I think anything we can use, like that, to help our son to understand the benefit of fences\u2014the benefit of boundaries\u2014they are there for a reason.\u00a0 They are good.\u00a0 God wouldn\u2019t have given us those boundaries if He didn\u2019t know we needed them and that they were good for us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the areas that parents need to engage their sons is around cell phones, texting, Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> posts, and where they go on their computer.\u00a0 There are tools, we talk about in the book, that you can use\u2014where you, as a parent, can find out what\u2019s being texted to your son, what\u2019s taking place on the Facebook page.\u00a0 No longer do you have to be surprised in this digital world what your son is up to and what other young ladies are up to with him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>That\u2019s\u2014it was interesting all the emails we got.\u00a0 Many of them said some of the initial interactions with their sons occurred around texting\u2014where there were messages coming through, suggesting certain things, building a relationship in their minds, and encouraging the young man to sneak out at night, to leave for work early, meet them at a certain place.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019ve got to train our son to set some boundaries; and then, once those boundaries are set, we need to inspect them and check up on them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A little accountability there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Seventh conversation\u2014the final one you\u2019re going to have with your son to protect him from aggressive girls?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The value of training.\u00a0 Think of yourself as a father, or a mother, or a grandfather, grandmother, aunt, or uncle\u2014as a coach.\u00a0 You\u2019re a life coach.\u00a0 You\u2019re coaching your son, repeatedly, in the basic skills of doing life.\u00a0 You just got to keep training.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the New Testament, in Jesus\u2019 day, there was a style of teaching called the Rabbinical Method of teaching.\u00a0 It was repetition.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s the nature of parenting\u2014over, and over, and over\u2014talking about these things all the way back to Deuteronomy 6, where it talks about, \u201cAs you rise up, as you lie down, as you go by the way, post these things over the doorposts of your house.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to make our lifestyles one of coaching, encouragement, even when our sons push back and they say, \u201cNo, no, no.\u00a0 No more, Dad, I\u2019ve heard enough.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want anymore.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019re still listening.\u00a0 They still need it.\u00a0 They still need to hear it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, the point is seven conversations are really a whole lifetime of conversations.\u00a0 It\u2019s really, as you said, a decade of conversations, starting before the teenage years and continuing even when your sons are in college.\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m thinking about parents sending their sons away to college.\u00a0 You talk about where the whole aggressive girls situation can get crazy, Barbara?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a young man is off at college, and he\u2019s out from under his parents\u2019 authority, and girls are saying, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you come over?\u201d\u2014wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, wow!\u00a0 I think that would be a great opportunity for a mom or dad, dropping your son off to have one final shot of that conversation.\u00a0 Say, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ve been talking about this for the last six, eight years of your life.\u00a0 Now, you\u2019re really going to be on your own.\u00a0 I want you to know that girls are going to be able to come and go in your room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou may have a neighbor next door, who is a young man.\u00a0 He may have his girlfriend living with him.\u00a0 You may be able to hear them through the walls.\u00a0 What are you going to do about that?\u00a0 Some guy down the hall may decide to have a party one night; and there are 20 girls, roaming up and down the hall in various states of dress.\u00a0 What are you going to do about that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust let him know, \u201cThis is what\u2019s around the corner.\u201d\u00a0 Make that be a part of this whole process of conversations\u2014think ahead, \u201cWhat are you going to say when you drop him off at college?\u201d\u00a0 Because, yes, you are right, it needs to be an ongoing conversation, through those college years, because the temptations are much stronger.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When they are in junior high and senior high, you are there, kind of keeping watch over it; but the college years get a little scary.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s why, in the book, we have a number of role-play situations, where you kind of create some scenarios like Barbara\u2019s talking about\u2014of maybe an inebriated young lady, not wearing a whole lot, wandering up and down the hall\u2014\u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d\u2014and helping your son decide, in advance, if they are going to give in to temptation or if they are going to be wise.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, we\u2019ve been talking, this week, about the whole issue of aggressive girls and how you protect your sons from them.\u00a0 What can moms do\u2014what can dads do for that matter\u2014to raise girls so that they are not this kind of girl?\u00a0 Are there any specific things you\u2019d recommend?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Lots of things I\u2019d recommend.\u00a0 How long do we have?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had lots of conversations with our girls about not calling boys.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t allowed to call boys.\u00a0 We had conversations with them about how they dressed.\u00a0 We had conversations with them about their actions with boys\u2014their physical touch with boys.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t sit on boys\u2019 laps.\u00a0 You don\u2019t do backrubs,\u201d\u2014just all that physical touch that they are so drawn to when they are teenagers.\u00a0 They want to touch one another.\u00a0 They want to be close.\u00a0 We had conversations about that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I think that the burden a parent needs to feel\u2014a mom, or a dad, or both (preferably both)\u2014is one of educating the daughters because I don\u2019t think\u2014honestly, I don\u2019t think until a young woman, until a teenage girl is grown up and is married someday\u2014does she really, fully, appreciate the sex drive of a man because hers is different.\u00a0 She doesn\u2019t feel it the same way that he does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think they really need to be taught why it\u2019s important to dress a certain way, why you shouldn\u2019t dress a certain way, why it is important to keep your hands to yourself, why you shouldn\u2019t be touchy-feely with guys.\u00a0 Tell them what it does.\u00a0 Say, \u201cThis is what happens to a young man when you do this,\u201d but it is hard for her to understand what that really means because it doesn\u2019t happen to her that way\u2014quite the same.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s just a series of ongoing conversations with your daughter\u2014sort of in reverse\u2014all these conversations you would be having with your son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you had those conversations with your daughters, did they think, \u201cOh, Mom, you just don\u2019t understand how things are today?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course, they did.\u00a0 I remember going shopping with my girls.\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting because all girls have a sense of style.\u00a0 They have a sense of what they like and what they don\u2019t like.\u00a0 One of our daughters was particularly drawn to the kind of clothing I didn\u2019t think she should wear.\u00a0 Now, why?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know, but she really found lacy things, frilly things, more interesting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was always having to kind of steer her away from that\u2014not that that can be bad\u2014but the kind of things she was picking out\u2014I don\u2019t know if she happened to see a friend at school wearing something like that and she thought it was cool and so she wanted something like that; but you have to coach your girls, along the way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe started coaching my girls in kindergarten, first grade, second grade, third grade\u2014on what was appropriate dress because you don\u2019t want to say something is okay\u2014then, when they are in junior high, \u201cIt\u2019s not okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the biggest challenges we faced was to go shopping with our daughters.\u00a0 Our sons\u2014ha!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 They could care less.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They could care less about it, but our daughters\u2014because the trendier and the sexier the clothing became, the more we tried to find somewhere else to shop\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and trendy, fashionable clothes that accentuate the body for a young lady, that\u2019s the rule of thumb.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way of the culture today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really is a challenge to find something that they feel cute in, that they feel they are trendy.\u00a0 I mean, none of our girls wanted to run around in some kind of a sack thing that had no shape; and I didn\u2019t blame them.\u00a0 So, helping them find something that is attractive, that\u2019s not provocative, is a challenge.\u00a0 It takes more time, it takes more energy, and it takes a lot more conviction on the part of mom and dad to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Honey, it\u2019s really cute; but we can\u2019t buy that.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s hard to say, but you have to do it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wonder if parents, who have been listening this week, may be a little frightened and go, \u201cIs it really that much of a jungle out there?\u00a0 I mean, my kids seem like good kids.\u00a0 Their friends seem like good kids.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t think what you\u2019re describing is going to happen to my kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want you to listen to me, \u201cYes, it is that bad out there.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a friend who was in a meeting with a bunch of college kids.\u00a0 He was just asking them, \u201cTell me what\u2019s going on in your college campus.\u201d\u00a0 A kid, who had been homeschooled all the way through high school\u2014he said, \u201cLet me tell you what happened to me early on.\u00a0 I visited a friend\u2019s dorm.\u00a0 There was guy who had a girl in the room, and they were sexually involved.\u00a0 I left;\u201d but his friends stayed around, with the door open, watching.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just have to pull back, and evaluate, and say, \u201cIf the culture is creating images and messaging like they are every night on TV, every moment of every day on the internet\u2014social media, digital media\u2014nothing is right or wrong.\u00a0 It\u2019s all relative.\u201d\u00a0 Mom, Dad, the culture you\u2019re sending your son, your daughter, into is not like it used to be.\u00a0 There were a few absolutes 15, 20, 30, years ago.\u00a0 Those absolutes are out the window.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat scares me most, Bob, about the question you asked are the younger parents, who are listening to our broadcast, who are so caught up in the culture\u2014they really don\u2019t understand what we\u2019re talking about here.\u00a0 They are going, \u201cWhy such a big deal about this?\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to push back and ask yourself the question, \u201cHave I bought into the lie?\u00a0 How am I training my son\u2014\u201d or for that matter, \u201c...my daughter\u2014in how to relate to the opposite sex?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and, \u201cAre you ready to have some good heart-to-heart ongoing conversations?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a part of your job as a dad, as a mom\u2014to have these kinds of conversations and to make sure that our sons and daughters understand, \u201cWhat is a godly standard?\u201d\u00a0 I know it\u2019s why you wrote the book, <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>, a couple of years ago, and now, the book, <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>, to give parents a very practical guide book for how to engage some of these issues.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause we want to see as many parents as possible equipped, we are making these books available, this week, to folks who will make a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and make a donation to support the ministry.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you both the brand-new <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em> book and <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 You may say, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t have a daughter,\u201d or, \u201cI don\u2019t have a son.\u201d\u00a0 Well, you can pass these books along to somebody who does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 Make an online donation.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get these books off to you automatically; or call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 When you make a donation over the phone, just mention that you\u2019d like the books for parents of teens.\u00a0 We\u2019ll know what you\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be happy to send those out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say, \u201cThanks for your support of the ministry.\u201d\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t do what we do without you being a part of what we\u2019re doing.\u00a0 Your financial support makes it possible for us to cover the costs of syndicating and producing this daily radio program.\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us and always appreciate hearing from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up.\u00a0 Hope you have a great weekend this weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together in church, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 Ron Deal is going to be here.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about some of the challenges that step-families face\u2014blended families\u2014and talk about what you can do to make sure yours is a smart step-family.\u00a0 I hope you can join us Monday for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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does your son know, and believe, about women?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-20.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are some very important conversations that a father needs to have with his son, as his son is growing up.\u00a0 One of those conversations has to do with establishing some boundaries around what you\u2019re interaction with members of the opposite sex is going to look like.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s the deal\u2014humans dislike boundaries; but it\u2019s within the context of boundaries that relationships flourish\u2014and really, we all do life.\u00a0 So, you, as a young man, need to have some boundaries, some fences, some ways to protect your life, your soul, from dangerous situations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, April 20<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 A conversation about boundaries is not the only one you need to have with your son as he is going through his teenage years.\u00a0 We\u2019ll outline a few more of those conversations for you today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 I\u2019m just wondering how many young men\u2014last night, after dinner, dad said, \u201cYou know, son, come over here.\u00a0 I want to have a talk with you.\u201d\u00a0 Dad\u2014all of a sudden, because of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, these sons are getting conversations that they never expected and didn\u2019t know were going to come their way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, these are the same guys who may have asked a young lady out, whose dad\u2014the young lady\u2019s dad\u2014has heard <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> talking about <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This poor kid is going to get it both ways; isn\u2019t he?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0\u00a0 That is not a bad idea!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really isn\u2019t a bad idea.\u00a0 In fact, I would like to encourage those of you have your children, perhaps, in Christian school or a private school\u2014where you might be able to make it a class project, where you take the entire six grade class through <em>Passport to Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Passport to Purity<\/em> is designed for the mothers and the daughters to get away, Friday and Saturday; and the fathers and the sons to get away, Friday and Saturday.\u00a0 It\u2019s for ten-, 11-, and 12-year-olds.\u00a0 You could take it back to the fifth grade, if you wanted to.\u00a0 Then, as they move into adolescence, you begin to engage at this level\u2014what we\u2019re talking about today\u2014which is helping your sons know how to deal with aggressive girls; specifically, girls who are coming on to them sexually.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You have just recently finished a book on this subject.\u00a0 It really came out of the book you wrote on\u2014<em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>, where you coached dads on how to have the conversation with the young man before he takes the girl out on a date.\u00a0 We heard from folks saying, \u201cWait a sec!\u00a0 We\u2019ve got an issue here because it\u2019s my son who is being pressured.\u00a0 He\u2019s getting asked out on dates, and it\u2019s more than just being asked out on dates that\u2019s going on with him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you suggested a number of conversations that a mom or a dad ought to be having with a son as he moves into adolescence to get him ready for some of the pressure he may be facing from girls during his teen years.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got your wife Barbara back with us on today\u2019s program.\u00a0 Barbara, good to have you here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Dennis, real quickly, just give us the conversations we\u2019ve already talked about this week\u2014just review those for us so a mom or a dad knows where to start as you have these talks with your son.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we\u2019re talking about seven conversations; and these are not stop-and-start conversations.\u00a0 These are\u2014they\u2019re not tweets; okay?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 They\u2019re not Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> posts.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 These are threads.\u00a0 These are ongoing threads.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All the way into adulthood.\u00a0 So, the first conversation you have, and you have, and you have, and you have repeatedly is the value of godly wisdom.\u00a0 That\u2019s godly skill in everyday living.\u00a0 It is calling your son away from focusing on himself and living life according to his own desires\u2014what he wants to do and how he wants to respond\u2014and instead, living life the way God wants him to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cMy son, listen to godly wisdom and don\u2019t be a fool;\u201d right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s the message of Proverbs.\u00a0 Conversation number two\u2014how you handle sexual temptation will be one of the biggest tests of your life.\u00a0 We shocked people by saying, \u201cThere\u2019s one bigger,\u201d even for a boy, than sexual temptation\u2014and that is pride.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 Between sex and pride, you\u2019ve nailed a bunch of temptation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A couple of deadly things, right there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Help your son know how to deal with that.\u00a0 Number three\u2014God created sex to be enjoyed within the marriage relationship.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about giving your son a noble picture of sex that is steered away from how it is portrayed on the internet, pornography, on prime-time major networks in the evening.\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about a biblical approach to marriage and sex that God is not down on sex.\u00a0 He created it, but He created it to be enjoyed within marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Conversation number four\u2014the characteristics of an adulterous woman.\u00a0 We talked about, for a 13- or 14-year-old, that doesn\u2019t mean it is the street walker; but it may be somebody is walking by in the hallway at school\u2014who is just a young lady who is needy, who\u2019s looking for her emotional gas tank to be filled up.\u00a0 She thinks a young lad or boy can help do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She may be flirty.\u00a0 She may be dressing provocatively.\u00a0 She may just be looking for attention; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She may.\u00a0 That leads us to conversation number five.\u00a0 If you want to find out more about one through four, get the book; alright?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber five\u2014reject passivity as a young man and become proactive with girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mean, instead of them becoming aggressive with you, you become aggressive with them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it means that you, as a young man, were designed to initiate.\u00a0 That initiation really shouldn\u2019t be taken away from a young man by a young lady.\u00a0 Our culture has homogenized the sexes today\u2014where they say there is no difference.\u00a0 It is more of an egalitarian approach, \u201cShe can initiate; he can initiate.\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s no one who bears the imprint of being the one responsible for the relationship.\u00a0 I would have to say that is a lie.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Your son needs to understand that a man has a responsibility, when he gets married, to nourish, and cherish, and love, and sacrifice for his wife\u2014to be a servant leader.\u00a0 That all comes through initiation and self-sacrifice.\u00a0 He learns that\u2014that whole initiation process\u2014when he\u2019s a young man, as he begins to relate to the opposite sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wouldn\u2019t get\u2014personally, I wouldn\u2019t get real legalistic about this.\u00a0 If there was some kind of event at school that the girls invited the guys, I think we may have allowed that to occur on occasion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sadie-Hawkins Day is okay, Barbara?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s what we used to call it.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, you can get real tight on these things.\u00a0 That\u2019s not the issue.\u00a0 The issue is, \u201cWhat are you modeling for your sons?\u201d because trust me\u2014and listen to me\u2014we have enough passive young men and men today.\u00a0 We need men who fully assume their responsibility.\u00a0 <br><br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, I was watching a TV show, just recently.\u00a0 In the show, this couple, who\u2019s had this ongoing relationship\u2014it\u2019s moving toward marriage.\u00a0 It seemed on again, off again.\u00a0 Well, in the middle of the show, the girl drops down on one knee, and looks up at the man, and says, \u201cWill you marry me?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s the proposal that he ought to be making.\u00a0 I thought part of the message that\u2019s being sent there is, \u201cThis can go either way;\u201d you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cYou can ask; he can ask.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t really matter.\u00a0 Either of us can do this.\u201d\u00a0 What\u2019s wrong with that message?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, what\u2019s wrong with that message is that it is the man who should initiate the relationship.\u00a0 He is the one who, by getting down on one knee, is symbolizing, \u201cI will give my life for you.\u00a0 Will you let me serve you and love you for a lifetime?\u201d\u00a0 For the woman to do it for the man is backwards.\u00a0 It just doesn\u2019t make sense.\u00a0 It\u2019s not the way we were designed because the man was supposed to ask for her hand in marriage.\u00a0 Then, she is supposed to respond.\u00a0 When she asks and he responds, it\u2019s backwards.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014what is the Bible calling men to do?\u00a0 To lead, to love, to protect; and they are charged with this responsibility.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What you are saying is, \u201cYou need to help your son recognize that taking the lead is his responsibility.\u201d\u00a0 If a girl is being aggressive with him, should he say, \u201cHey, I\u2019ll take the lead in this\u201d?\u00a0 I mean, would you have him say that kind of thing to her?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I would.\u00a0 I\u2014you know, it\u2019s not a matter of some kind of spiritual pride of, \u201cHey, I\u2019m better than you,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019m a man.\u00a0 You should do this or that for me.\u201d\u00a0 No.\u00a0 It\u2019s just coaching your son to know how he needs to view his identity\u2014his address, as a man.\u00a0 He needs to define himself around being courageous\u2014to give his life for others.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, what\u2019s the sixth conversation you have?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are asking me to get off my soapbox, now; but I\u2019m going to get back on it, on this one, too.\u00a0 Conversation number six\u2014the value of boundaries.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the deal\u2014humans dislike boundaries, but it\u2019s within the context of boundaries, that relationships flourish\u2014and really, we all do life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOut where we live, there is a field that I drive by every morning and every evening on the way to work and on the way back from work.\u00a0 For a number of years, there was no fence for this field.\u00a0 Well, they built a fence because of 9\/11.\u00a0 It\u2019s a fence with\u2014it had barbed wire and razor wire on it.\u00a0 Not long after they built the fence, I noticed that the field began to be populated with deer.\u00a0 It was a safe place to go.\u00a0 This morning\u2014as I came to work, there were 20 deer in there\u2014cars whizzing by at 55 miles per hour.\u00a0 What happened?\u00a0 The boundaries of the fence created safety.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf there has ever been a time in our sons\u2019\u2014and for that matter, our daughters\u2019\u2014where they needed some boundaries in their lives, some protection from outside forces that create safety and freedom to be who they really are, it\u2019s today.\u00a0 Now, I\u2019m talking about boundaries with the opposite sex.\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about being alone with them.\u00a0 You may say some of these are old-fashioned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I told my own sons, I don\u2019t want to be alone with someone of the opposite sex, who is not your mom.\u00a0 I don\u2019t trust myself.\u00a0 Forget about trusting you, I don\u2019t trust myself in that situation.\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 You, as a young man, need to have some boundaries, some fences\u2014some ways to protect your life, your soul\u2014from dangerous situations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, all of us don\u2019t like boundaries.\u00a0 There\u2019s something in our heart that says, \u201cI want to jump the fence.\u00a0 I want to do what I want to do.\u201d\u00a0 We have to help our sons see that that\u2019s their natural tendency and that boundaries are good for them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we do.\u00a0 I think illustrations, like Dennis just gave, with the deer with the fence\u2014or another story.\u00a0 We know of children on a playground that was not fenced.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t use all the playground; but once there was a fence built, the children used all of the playground.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe analogy is really a good one.\u00a0 I think anything we can use, like that, to help our son to understand the benefit of fences\u2014the benefit of boundaries\u2014they are there for a reason.\u00a0 They are good.\u00a0 God wouldn\u2019t have given us those boundaries if He didn\u2019t know we needed them and that they were good for us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the areas that parents need to engage their sons is around cell phones, texting, Facebook<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> posts, and where they go on their computer.\u00a0 There are tools, we talk about in the book, that you can use\u2014where you, as a parent, can find out what\u2019s being texted to your son, what\u2019s taking place on the Facebook page.\u00a0 No longer do you have to be surprised in this digital world what your son is up to and what other young ladies are up to with him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>That\u2019s\u2014it was interesting all the emails we got.\u00a0 Many of them said some of the initial interactions with their sons occurred around texting\u2014where there were messages coming through, suggesting certain things, building a relationship in their minds, and encouraging the young man to sneak out at night, to leave for work early, meet them at a certain place.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019ve got to train our son to set some boundaries; and then, once those boundaries are set, we need to inspect them and check up on them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A little accountability there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Seventh conversation\u2014the final one you\u2019re going to have with your son to protect him from aggressive girls?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The value of training.\u00a0 Think of yourself as a father, or a mother, or a grandfather, grandmother, aunt, or uncle\u2014as a coach.\u00a0 You\u2019re a life coach.\u00a0 You\u2019re coaching your son, repeatedly, in the basic skills of doing life.\u00a0 You just got to keep training.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the New Testament, in Jesus\u2019 day, there was a style of teaching called the Rabbinical Method of teaching.\u00a0 It was repetition.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s the nature of parenting\u2014over, and over, and over\u2014talking about these things all the way back to Deuteronomy 6, where it talks about, \u201cAs you rise up, as you lie down, as you go by the way, post these things over the doorposts of your house.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to make our lifestyles one of coaching, encouragement, even when our sons push back and they say, \u201cNo, no, no.\u00a0 No more, Dad, I\u2019ve heard enough.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want anymore.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019re still listening.\u00a0 They still need it.\u00a0 They still need to hear it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, the point is seven conversations are really a whole lifetime of conversations.\u00a0 It\u2019s really, as you said, a decade of conversations, starting before the teenage years and continuing even when your sons are in college.\u00a0 I mean, I\u2019m thinking about parents sending their sons away to college.\u00a0 You talk about where the whole aggressive girls situation can get crazy, Barbara?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a young man is off at college, and he\u2019s out from under his parents\u2019 authority, and girls are saying, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you come over?\u201d\u2014wow!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, wow!\u00a0 I think that would be a great opportunity for a mom or dad, dropping your son off to have one final shot of that conversation.\u00a0 Say, \u201cOkay, we\u2019ve been talking about this for the last six, eight years of your life.\u00a0 Now, you\u2019re really going to be on your own.\u00a0 I want you to know that girls are going to be able to come and go in your room.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou may have a neighbor next door, who is a young man.\u00a0 He may have his girlfriend living with him.\u00a0 You may be able to hear them through the walls.\u00a0 What are you going to do about that?\u00a0 Some guy down the hall may decide to have a party one night; and there are 20 girls, roaming up and down the hall in various states of dress.\u00a0 What are you going to do about that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust let him know, \u201cThis is what\u2019s around the corner.\u201d\u00a0 Make that be a part of this whole process of conversations\u2014think ahead, \u201cWhat are you going to say when you drop him off at college?\u201d\u00a0 Because, yes, you are right, it needs to be an ongoing conversation, through those college years, because the temptations are much stronger.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When they are in junior high and senior high, you are there, kind of keeping watch over it; but the college years get a little scary.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s why, in the book, we have a number of role-play situations, where you kind of create some scenarios like Barbara\u2019s talking about\u2014of maybe an inebriated young lady, not wearing a whole lot, wandering up and down the hall\u2014\u201cWhat are you going to do?\u201d\u2014and helping your son decide, in advance, if they are going to give in to temptation or if they are going to be wise.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, we\u2019ve been talking, this week, about the whole issue of aggressive girls and how you protect your sons from them.\u00a0 What can moms do\u2014what can dads do for that matter\u2014to raise girls so that they are not this kind of girl?\u00a0 Are there any specific things you\u2019d recommend?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Lots of things I\u2019d recommend.\u00a0 How long do we have?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe had lots of conversations with our girls about not calling boys.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t allowed to call boys.\u00a0 We had conversations with them about how they dressed.\u00a0 We had conversations with them about their actions with boys\u2014their physical touch with boys.\u00a0 \u201cYou don\u2019t sit on boys\u2019 laps.\u00a0 You don\u2019t do backrubs,\u201d\u2014just all that physical touch that they are so drawn to when they are teenagers.\u00a0 They want to touch one another.\u00a0 They want to be close.\u00a0 We had conversations about that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>I think that the burden a parent needs to feel\u2014a mom, or a dad, or both (preferably both)\u2014is one of educating the daughters because I don\u2019t think\u2014honestly, I don\u2019t think until a young woman, until a teenage girl is grown up and is married someday\u2014does she really, fully, appreciate the sex drive of a man because hers is different.\u00a0 She doesn\u2019t feel it the same way that he does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think they really need to be taught why it\u2019s important to dress a certain way, why you shouldn\u2019t dress a certain way, why it is important to keep your hands to yourself, why you shouldn\u2019t be touchy-feely with guys.\u00a0 Tell them what it does.\u00a0 Say, \u201cThis is what happens to a young man when you do this,\u201d but it is hard for her to understand what that really means because it doesn\u2019t happen to her that way\u2014quite the same.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s just a series of ongoing conversations with your daughter\u2014sort of in reverse\u2014all these conversations you would be having with your son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you had those conversations with your daughters, did they think, \u201cOh, Mom, you just don\u2019t understand how things are today?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course, they did.\u00a0 I remember going shopping with my girls.\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting because all girls have a sense of style.\u00a0 They have a sense of what they like and what they don\u2019t like.\u00a0 One of our daughters was particularly drawn to the kind of clothing I didn\u2019t think she should wear.\u00a0 Now, why?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know, but she really found lacy things, frilly things, more interesting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was always having to kind of steer her away from that\u2014not that that can be bad\u2014but the kind of things she was picking out\u2014I don\u2019t know if she happened to see a friend at school wearing something like that and she thought it was cool and so she wanted something like that; but you have to coach your girls, along the way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe started coaching my girls in kindergarten, first grade, second grade, third grade\u2014on what was appropriate dress because you don\u2019t want to say something is okay\u2014then, when they are in junior high, \u201cIt\u2019s not okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the biggest challenges we faced was to go shopping with our daughters.\u00a0 Our sons\u2014ha!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 They could care less.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They could care less about it, but our daughters\u2014because the trendier and the sexier the clothing became, the more we tried to find somewhere else to shop\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and trendy, fashionable clothes that accentuate the body for a young lady, that\u2019s the rule of thumb.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way of the culture today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really is a challenge to find something that they feel cute in, that they feel they are trendy.\u00a0 I mean, none of our girls wanted to run around in some kind of a sack thing that had no shape; and I didn\u2019t blame them.\u00a0 So, helping them find something that is attractive, that\u2019s not provocative, is a challenge.\u00a0 It takes more time, it takes more energy, and it takes a lot more conviction on the part of mom and dad to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Honey, it\u2019s really cute; but we can\u2019t buy that.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s hard to say, but you have to do it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wonder if parents, who have been listening this week, may be a little frightened and go, \u201cIs it really that much of a jungle out there?\u00a0 I mean, my kids seem like good kids.\u00a0 Their friends seem like good kids.\u00a0 I just don\u2019t think what you\u2019re describing is going to happen to my kids.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want you to listen to me, \u201cYes, it is that bad out there.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a friend who was in a meeting with a bunch of college kids.\u00a0 He was just asking them, \u201cTell me what\u2019s going on in your college campus.\u201d\u00a0 A kid, who had been homeschooled all the way through high school\u2014he said, \u201cLet me tell you what happened to me early on.\u00a0 I visited a friend\u2019s dorm.\u00a0 There was guy who had a girl in the room, and they were sexually involved.\u00a0 I left;\u201d but his friends stayed around, with the door open, watching.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just have to pull back, and evaluate, and say, \u201cIf the culture is creating images and messaging like they are every night on TV, every moment of every day on the internet\u2014social media, digital media\u2014nothing is right or wrong.\u00a0 It\u2019s all relative.\u201d\u00a0 Mom, Dad, the culture you\u2019re sending your son, your daughter, into is not like it used to be.\u00a0 There were a few absolutes 15, 20, 30, years ago.\u00a0 Those absolutes are out the window.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat scares me most, Bob, about the question you asked are the younger parents, who are listening to our broadcast, who are so caught up in the culture\u2014they really don\u2019t understand what we\u2019re talking about here.\u00a0 They are going, \u201cWhy such a big deal about this?\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to push back and ask yourself the question, \u201cHave I bought into the lie?\u00a0 How am I training my son\u2014\u201d or for that matter, \u201c...my daughter\u2014in how to relate to the opposite sex?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and, \u201cAre you ready to have some good heart-to-heart ongoing conversations?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a part of your job as a dad, as a mom\u2014to have these kinds of conversations and to make sure that our sons and daughters understand, \u201cWhat is a godly standard?\u201d\u00a0 I know it\u2019s why you wrote the book, <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>, a couple of years ago, and now, the book, <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>, to give parents a very practical guide book for how to engage some of these issues.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause we want to see as many parents as possible equipped, we are making these books available, this week, to folks who will make a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 All you have to do is go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and make a donation to support the ministry.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you both the brand-new <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em> book and <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 You may say, \u201cWell, I don\u2019t have a daughter,\u201d or, \u201cI don\u2019t have a son.\u201d\u00a0 Well, you can pass these books along to somebody who does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 Make an online donation.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get these books off to you automatically; or call 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 When you make a donation over the phone, just mention that you\u2019d like the books for parents of teens.\u00a0 We\u2019ll know what you\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 We\u2019ll be happy to send those out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say, \u201cThanks for your support of the ministry.\u201d\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t do what we do without you being a part of what we\u2019re doing.\u00a0 Your financial support makes it possible for us to cover the costs of syndicating and producing this daily radio program.\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for your partnership with us and always appreciate hearing from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up.\u00a0 Hope you have a great weekend this weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together in church, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 Ron Deal is going to be here.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about some of the challenges that step-families face\u2014blended families\u2014and talk about what you can do to make sure yours is a smart step-family.\u00a0 I hope you can join us Monday for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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