{"id":302505,"date":"2012-04-19T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-04-19T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/careful-conversations-to-share-with-your-son\/"},"modified":"2012-04-19T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-04-19T15:00:00","slug":"careful-conversations-to-share-with-your-son","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/careful-conversations-to-share-with-your-son\/","title":{"rendered":"Careful Conversations to Share With Your Son"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Does your son attract girls like bees to honey?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.33M","filesize_raw":"25507183","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2835,2836,2855],"tags":[5206,5207],"podcast_series":[7870],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302505","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-raising-boys","category-raising-girls","category-teens","tag-aggressive-girls","tag-passive-boys","podcast_series-aggressive-girls","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302505\/careful-conversations-to-share-with-your-son","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302505\/careful-conversations-to-share-with-your-son","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"QihVns7h7j\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/careful-conversations-to-share-with-your-son\/\">Careful Conversations to Share With Your Son<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/careful-conversations-to-share-with-your-son\/embed\/#?secret=QihVns7h7j\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Careful Conversations to Share With Your Son&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"QihVns7h7j\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-19.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-19.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There have always been some girls, some women, who are aggressive\u2014think back to the story of Joseph and Potiphar\u2019s wife from Genesis.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not familiar with the story, here\u2019s how it was retold in one Broadway musical.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Joseph was an unimportant slave, who found he liked his master; consequently, worked much harder, even with devotion.\u00a0 Potiphar could see that Joseph was a cut above the average; made him leader of his household\u2014maximum promotion!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator and Male Ensemble:<\/strong>\u00a0 Potiphar was cool and so fine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Potiphar:<\/strong>\u00a0 But my wife would never toe the line. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator and Male Ensemble:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's all there in Chapter 39 of Genesis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Potiphar:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t believe everything you read, dear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator and Male Ensemble:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was beautiful but evil; saw a lot of men against his will.\u00a0 He would have to tell her that she still was his\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Potiphar:<\/strong> You\u2019re mine! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Joseph's looks and handsome figure had attracted her attention.\u00a0 Every morning she would beckon\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mrs. Potiphar:<\/strong>\u00a0 Come and lie with me, love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Joseph wanted to resist her, \u2018til one day she proved too eager.\u00a0 Joseph cried in vain\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joseph:<\/strong>\u00a0 Please stop!\u00a0 I don't believe in free love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mrs. Potiphar:<\/strong>\u00a0 Pity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[End of Excerpt]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 Have you ever heard that before?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think so, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s from <em>Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat<\/em>.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever thought about Genesis 39, and Joseph, and Potiphar\u2014of course, I don\u2019t know what Potiphar\u2019s wife looked like; right?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know whether, when she said to Joseph, \u201cHey, Joe\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t know whether Joseph was going, \u201cI\u2019m not interested,\u201d or whether Joseph went, \u201cWhoa!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Whoa!\u00a0 I got a feeling, because of the drama in the story, Bob, that she was attractive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you have to think, whether she was attractive or not, \u201cIf this royal official\u2019s wife gave me the order of the day\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014would I have run out of the room?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You would have\u2014yes, you just wonder.\u00a0 I mean, the pressure was on.\u00a0 I think what makes this story most powerful was, obviously, Joseph\u2019s response.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting,\u00a0 Bob, as many times as I\u2019ve read that story, the explanation for why he did what he did was really found earlier in a life that was committed to following God and being obedient to God.\u00a0 When he faced a moral compromise, it was a natural response for him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, our sons, growing up today, at some point, are likely to face\u2014maybe not the royal official\u2019s wife\u2014but somebody in class, or somebody a few grades up from them, or somebody at the mall.\u00a0 They are likely to face a young woman who comes and says, \u201cHey,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cyou\u2019re kind of cute.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, like the mom who wrote me.\u00a0 She wrote in response to <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>, when I wrote that book.\u00a0 Well, let me just read this.\u00a0 She says, \u201cI have a very outgoing, charming, attractive, 15-year-old son.\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s a mom.\u00a0 Hey, you know, she\u2019s going to make that\u2014\u201cI have been, literally, chasing the girls away from the door ever since the seventh grade.\u00a0 The phone calls, identified by caller ID, were left for the answering machine to answer.\u00a0 The aggressiveness and promiscuity of young girls nowadays is beyond words.\u00a0 They\u2019re dress is so alluring and inviting to a young man.\u00a0 What\u2019s a guy to do?\u00a0 Moreover, what\u2019s a mom to do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the question.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s what she was wanting help on.\u00a0 That\u2019s why we\u2019ve been talking about, all this week, how we equip our sons to be able to handle sexually-aggressive young ladies.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have just recently finished a book on this subject.\u00a0 One of the things you say is that there are a number of conversations that moms and dads, or moms, or dads need to be having with their sons, as their sons move into adolescence.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve asked your wife to step in and be part of our conversation today.\u00a0 Barbara, welcome.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Nice to have you here.\u00a0 You\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Always good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you were raising your boys, did you see girls, in those days, kind of circling around them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did\u2014with one in particular because, when he entered the seventh grade, he was <em>so cute<\/em>.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t really gone through that awkward phase, yet.\u00a0 I mean, he was like a fly to a pot of honey.\u00a0 The girls were calling him all the time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We thought, \u201cWhat is going on?\u201d\u00a0 He even thought the same thing, too, because he was pretty much ignored in elementary school; but in junior high, these girls had a different kind of interest.\u00a0 They were after him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did it take you by surprise, or\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you really hadn\u2019t been intentional in preparing him for what was coming because you weren\u2019t\u2014you didn\u2019t know what was coming?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did not know it was coming.\u00a0 It really was\u2014because it was not at all the way girls were when I was growing up; and his older sister, Ashley, was not that way.\u00a0 We were very unprepared for the aggressiveness of the girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the benefits of having a big family is\u2014after you\u2019ve raised six kids, you get it.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 You get it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve seen everything that\u2019s coming around the block.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You begin to anticipate all the issues that are coming your way; and although, perhaps, the form of media or communication has changed today, it\u2019s the same old, same old.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s \u201cThe birds and the bees\u201d.\u00a0 It\u2019s young men and young women who are attracted to each other; and they are going to try to find a way to get together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are suggesting to moms and dads, \u201cYou ought to have a series of conversations.\u201d\u00a0 Would you say these are conversations you have\u2014like one a week, one a night\u2014how would you space out these conversations over time?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t do it in a week.\u00a0 I think you could\u2014your son could absolutely short-circuit and overload (Laughter)\u2014kind of fractured\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014stay in his room for a month, a couple months.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014down the middle.\u00a0 I can picture having this with an 11-, 12-, 13-year-old young man.\u00a0 He\u2019s like, \u201cWhat has happened to Dad?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cOr Mom?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s happened to Mom?\u201d\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would spread it out.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think\u2014Bob, it\u2019s not a matter of having a conversation and you\u2019re done with it.\u00a0 I think, if we erred on one side or the other, we probably didn\u2019t have enough follow-up conversations around each of these seven areas, like we should have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Now, we did talk about it on an ongoing basis.\u00a0 I think, as you find ways, in everyday life, to bring godly perspective and wisdom to bear on your son\u2019s life, you\u2019ve got to use it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to use those teachable moments, when they come your way, to take all the truth you possibly can into your son\u2019s soul so that his character stands strong in the midst of the temptations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What would be a first conversation you\u2019d have to get your son ready for what he may be facing as he moves into adolescence?<strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want him to understand the value of wisdom.\u00a0 If you look at the book of Proverbs\u2014Proverbs, Chapter 1, verse 7, says, \u201cThe fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.\u00a0 Fools despise wisdom and instruction.\u201d\u00a0 Later on, in the book of Proverbs, it says, \u201cThe fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.\u201d\u00a0 Wisdom, as I talked about with our kids, especially my sons, as I took them on a Bible study at a local restaurant that we\u2019d have before school\u2014we unpacked the definition of what wisdom really is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Wisdom is godly skill in everyday living.\u00a0 It\u2019s living life according to God\u2019s perspective.\u00a0 It is living life the way God designed it.\u00a0 Wisdom is the opposite of foolishness.\u00a0 You\u2019re training your son to be a wise man and not a fool.\u00a0 You\u2019re helping him to look at life through God\u2019s eyes and understand that this thing, called the opposite sex, who\u2019s coming after him\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWait a second! Caution, son!\u00a0 You need to keep your guard up and realize what is happening here may happen to you for a good bit of your life as a man, not only now as a teenager, but well into adulthood.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A lot of teenagers look at this idea of receiving godly wisdom and they think to themselves, \u201cWell, I need to learn this for myself.\u201d\u00a0 How do you help a young man or woman realize there really is benefit in not going the way of the fool and learning it yourself but listening to someone who has been down the path\u2014learning from godly wisdom?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s a challenge for parents because, I think, one of the jobs for parents is to help your children understand, in a practical way, why wisdom is good for us.\u00a0 So, think through, \u201cWhat are some experiences that your child has had?\u201d\u00a0 You could say, \u201cRemember that bike accident you had?\u201d; for instance, \u201cYou were going too fast down the hill.\u00a0 Now, you understand what it feels like to fall.\u00a0 So, you\u2019re going to be much more cautious when you ride your bike down the hill.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhatever the experience might be with your child\u2014but say, \u201cWouldn\u2019t it have been better not to have fallen at all, and scraped your knee, and banged up your elbow?\u201d\u2014or whatever.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t you wish you could\u2019ve avoided that pain?\u201d\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s what wisdom is all about.\u00a0 When you follow God\u2019s plan, and when you follow His wisdom in the Scripture, and what we\u2019re trying to teach you as your mom, or as your dad, you can avoid those mishaps.\u00a0 You can avoid that pain that will come with making mistakes in life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was watching TV the other night.\u00a0 There was a teenager on a show, blaming the public school system for not teaching about sex.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cNo, no, no.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s not where the responsibility for teaching about sex belongs.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This issue, of what we\u2019re talking about, is fully within the responsibility of a mom and a dad to instruct their sons and their daughters about what\u2019s happening in this culture.\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you what\u2014in this culture, it\u2019s coming at you left and right because of social media, because of cell phones, because of the access young people have that they didn\u2019t have a decade ago.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you, as a parent, need to assume your responsibility for passing on wisdom, which is\u2014repeat after me\u2014\u201cIt is godly skill in everyday living.\u00a0 It is living life the way God designed it.\u201d\u00a0 It means we, as the parents, need to be doing that, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So, you start off by helping him understand that godly wisdom is there for his benefit\u2014that as he goes through the teen years, he is going to want to lean into godly wisdom.\u00a0 He is going to want to listen to godly wisdom.\u00a0 It will save him a lot of pain\u2014fewer accidents if he does that.\u00a0 What\u2019s the second conversation?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, the second one is how you handle sexual temptation will become one of the biggest tests of your life.\u00a0 Did you hear that?\u00a0 \u201cHow you handle sexual temptation will be one of the biggest tests of your life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was evaluating this, and I thought, \u201cYou know, there is only one test, or one temptation, that is bigger, overall, for boys growing into manhood.\u201d\u00a0 You know what it is?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can\u2019t think of one bigger.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it was kind of my thought, too.\u00a0 It was like sexual temptation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty big.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014is kind of the ultimate one.\u00a0 There is an undercurrent, within all of us, for both boys and girls, that is even bigger than sexual temptation.\u00a0 That is pride\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014wanting to run your own show, wanting to be the master of your soul, wanting to be your own god, not submitting and surrendering your life to Jesus Christ.\u00a0 After that one\u2014I don\u2019t know what\u2019s in third place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are only two, you\u2019re saying.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, there\u2019s not just two, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but they\u2019re so far out in front of the others that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They really are.\u00a0 What you\u2019re doing\u2014moms, dads\u2014is you\u2019re coaching, instructing, building character into your son\u2019s soul to know how to handle one of the biggest temptations he\u2019s going to face now and for the rest of his life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, you have to help your son see that, to not handle sexual temptation properly, could be deadly.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019re talking about consequences here that can be life-altering consequences.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they really can.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got so many sexually-transmitted diseases today.\u00a0 A son needs to know that just one time, one mistake, with the wrong person\u2014and he could have something that he will carry with him for the rest of his days.\u00a0 It\u2019s just not worth it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you think about the whole Joseph story\u2014we listened to it at the beginning\u2014you know, it\u2019s kind of lighthearted and it was kind of fun\u2014but what would have happened\u2014would we have even known who Joseph was if he had given into Potiphar\u2019s wife?\u00a0 I mean, that was the defining moment in his life.\u00a0 If you think about it, he said, \u201cNo,\u201d to her; and that really sealed the rest of his life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWould we know about Joseph if he had said, \u201cYes,\u201d to Potiphar\u2019s wife?\u00a0 Probably not, because he, probably, would have lost his head.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 For him, it really would have been a death sentence.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You impress the importance of godly wisdom.\u00a0 You talk about how you handle sexual temptation and how life-determinative that\u2019s going to be, not just in your teen years but throughout your life, even after you\u2019re married.\u00a0 What\u2019s the third conversation?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this is pretty simple, but you know what\u2014it\u2019s a big idea, and it\u2019s a good one.\u00a0 It\u2019s a healthy one.\u00a0 God created sex to be enjoyed within the marriage relationship.\u00a0 Now, how wholesome is that?\u00a0 Think about the message that\u2019s coming through on the internet, on prime-time TV, in the evening, on the major networks, in the movies\u2014it\u2019s hook-ups.\u00a0 It\u2019s, \u201cHave sex with somebody you\u2019re just a friend with.\u201d\u00a0 It is, \u201cGive it away\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but know the Bible places nobility, dignity, and the very sacred nature of sex within the boundaries of a commitment called the covenant of marriage.\u00a0 That\u2019s how our kids need to hear about it.\u00a0 They need to understand, \u201cSon, it\u2019s really good\u2014it really is good in marriage; but if you dabble in this outside of marriage, you\u2019re going to pay the price for it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, a lot of moms\u2014they may be single moms, or they may be having these conversations because Dad\u2019s just not engaged, or maybe they are tag-teaming this thing\u2014but for a mom to have a conversation around the joy of sex in marriage, with a son, feels awkward.\u00a0 There\u2019s also the concern, \u201cIs he going to ask me about what I did when I was growing up?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I think that anytime we have conversations about sexual matters with our children, it\u2019s very uncomfortable.\u00a0 It implies a lot of risk.\u00a0 We feel like we\u2019re walking the plank when we do that, but it\u2019s so healthy to enter to those areas with your kids because then they know it is okay to talk about it.\u00a0 So, yes, I understand.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember having a conversation with my three oldest kids, when they came home from summer camp.\u00a0 They had all three been to church camp together.\u00a0 They came home, and they had heard a speaker talk about a sexual matter at the conference.\u00a0 Here I was, sitting on the bed, with my oldest daughter and then my two sons.\u00a0 It was not just \u201cthe girls\u201d.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t \u201cjust the boys\u201d.\u00a0 It was both.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We had this great conversation.\u00a0 I remember thinking, \u201cThis is really kind of risky,\u201d when we got started.\u00a0 Once the ball kind of started rolling, I thought, \u201cThis is so good.\u00a0 It feels so right to have this conversation.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s worth it, especially for single moms.\u00a0 I know it probably feels like, \u201cGosh, I shouldn\u2019t be doing this.\u00a0 I wish I wasn\u2019t the one doing this,\u201d but he\u2019s your son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have a responsibility to protect him, and sons need to hear these things from their moms.\u00a0 They need to hear that marriage is the place for sex, that it is the safest place, it\u2019s the best place, it is the most wholesome place.\u00a0 They need to have that standard.\u00a0 As Dennis was saying a minute ago, \u201cThis is the ideal. This is the best place.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is God\u2019s design.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was God who created it, not man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGenesis, Chapter 2, verse 24, \u201cTherefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and hold fast to his wife.\u201d\u00a0 Another version says, \u201c\u2026cleave to his wife\u201d\u2014be committed to his wife.\u00a0 Then, look what comes next, \u201cand they shall become one flesh.\u201d\u00a0 Now, what has the culture done?\u00a0 It has reversed the process, \u201cBecome one flesh first; then, get married.\u201d\u00a0 You know, \u201cCohabit first.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to tell you\u2014I think we have to, in a wholesome way, uplift the dignity of marriage, as God designed.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s not down on us having fun.\u00a0 He\u2019s not down on us experiencing pleasure.\u00a0 He wants the very best for us.\u00a0 As a young man, my conversation with you is heading sin off at the pass.\u00a0 It\u2019s heading danger off at the pass.\u00a0 It\u2019s helping you proactively know what to do when you\u2019re facing temptation.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright, so, once you help your son see that this is God\u2019s good design\u2014it\u2019s His purpose and plan.\u00a0 It\u2019s a good gift; and it\u2019s something you can look forward to with joy, and anticipation, and excitement.\u00a0 What\u2019s the next conversation?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this gets kind of gritty.\u00a0 Conversation number four\u2014you talk about the characteristics of an adulterous woman.\u00a0 Okay, men, man-to-man, what are you going to say to your son about what an adulterous woman is trying to do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, your son is thinking about a 13-, or 14-, or 15-year-old classmate, or maybe an older girl\u2014I don\u2019t know that he\u2019d think of it in terms of an adulterous woman\u2014but you\u2019re saying that the characteristics are the same.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The seductive woman\u2014the woman who is looking for the hook-up, the woman who is preying upon the innocence\u2014of your boy, of your son, in his early adolescence.\u00a0 Yes, I think we\u2019ve got to help our sons understand what\u2019s going on, not only in her mind, but what does she look like?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is even the phrase in the book of Proverbs, how she <em>brazenly<\/em> seizes him and kisses him.\u00a0 Now, this is not a peck on the cheek.\u00a0 This is a kiss that demands a sexual response.\u00a0 It is one that says, \u201cI\u2019m ready.\u00a0 Come and get it.\u201d\u00a0 Your son, who maybe has never kissed a girl\u2014what happens if that occurred to him?\u00a0 Does he know what to do?\u00a0 Back to Potiphar\u2019s wife\u2014does he know how to flee?\u00a0 What does fleeing look like?\u00a0 It may mean turning your head away from her eyes.\u00a0 It may mean pushing back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, this is where boys have to be taught and trained to go against what their instincts are telling them at the moment\u2014because your instincts at that moment are saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cThis is good!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI like this!\u201d\u00a0 Yes, I think, too, it\u2019s not just the young woman, the teenager, the classmate, who comes up and throws her arms around your son\u2014but it\u2019s the young woman who comes up and just kind of gets too close, or puts her arm through your son\u2019s arm\u2014maybe whispers in his ear, or maybe sits on his lap\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or the one who dresses so suggestively\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that a boy, at that age, couldn\u2019t help\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but notice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but notice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right.\u00a0 So, it isn\u2019t just the physical actions or the physical aggressiveness\u2014it can be more subtle.\u00a0 It might catch your son off guard because we saw this when our kids were in youth groups.\u00a0 A lot of these girls will come up to the guys and give back rubs.\u00a0 They\u2019ll sit on their laps, and they\u2019re doing it to be playful.\u00a0 They don\u2019t realize\u2014or maybe they do\u2014that it\u2019s inviting more than what the young man really is interested in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s explaining all of those things\u2014and all of those actions, all of those behaviors, all of those statements that these girls are making\u2014are intended to get a response out of your son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there\u2019s more that needs to be covered.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019re just through four of the seven conversations here; but this particular conversation might be spread out over two, three, four, or five different conversations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, it\u2019ll be spread out over a decade of conversations because I\u2019m just watching how dress\u2014every year, you kind of go by fashion\u2014you kind of go, \u201cHow could women emphasize their bodies anymore than they currently are?\u201d\u00a0 Yet\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014it happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014it\u2019s happening.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it keeps happening.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It keeps happening, and our sons\u2014again, you\u2019ve got to take a step back and go, \u201cHe\u2019s na\u00efve.\u00a0 He\u2019s clueless.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t know what\u2019s happening to his body.\u00a0 He needs help in understanding that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mentioned earlier about <em>Passport to Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 If you haven\u2019t taken your son through <em>Passport to Purity<\/em>, where he\u2019s heard a full explanation for what\u2019s going on, in this alien takeover of his body called adolescence and puberty\u2014if he hasn\u2019t been through that with you and talked with you about that, that\u2019s absolutely basic to him going through these discussions about how girls are responding him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve already mentioned that <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> has just recently been revised and updated.\u00a0 Next month, it\u2019s going to be available.\u00a0 In fact, our team is working hard to put it all together so that we can have it available so that families can make plans to do this over the summer.\u00a0 You can get a weekend away with your son or your daughter, and go through the <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> material.\u00a0 Let me just mention, too, that a part of the update included contacting our friends at <em>Seeds Family Worship<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and having them record our Scripture memory verses for us\u2014that are a part of <em>Passport to Purity<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to go to FamilyLifeToday.com, there is information there about the new <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> material.\u00a0 I think\u2014I\u2019m not sure if we\u2019ve worked this out\u2014I think we\u2019ve got it where you can place an order.\u00a0 As soon as it\u2019s available, we\u2019ll ship it out to you.\u00a0 Find out more.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about <em>Passport<\/em> <em>to Purity<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, there is also information about your book, <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s brand-new.\u00a0 It is available.\u00a0 This week, we\u2019re making it available to folks who will support the ministry with a donation.\u00a0 All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make an online donation, we will automatically send you the new book by Dennis Rainey, <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys;<\/em> and we\u2019ll send you a copy of the book, <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 That\u2019s for fathers of teenage girls.\u00a0 Whether you have boys or girls, these books will help you out.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have boys or girls, you can pass the books along to somebody else.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 When you do that, ask for the books that we were talking about on the radio, <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys,<\/em> and <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send those out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say we appreciate your financial support of the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate when you do make a donation.\u00a0 Those donations are what make this program possible, make our website possible.\u00a0 All that we are doing here at FamilyLife is funded primarily by folks, like you, who donate to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate your financial support and are always glad to hear from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to walk through some of the content of the conversations that you outline for moms and dads in your new book, <em>Aggressive Girls<\/em>.\u00a0 Barbara is going to be back with us, again, tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope our listeners can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.33M"],"filesize_raw":["25507183"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302505.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302505.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 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your son attract girls like bees to honey?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There have always been some girls, some women, who are aggressive\u2014think back to the story of Joseph and Potiphar\u2019s wife from Genesis.\u00a0 If you\u2019re not familiar with the story, here\u2019s how it was retold in one Broadway musical.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Excerpt from <em>Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Joseph was an unimportant slave, who found he liked his master; consequently, worked much harder, even with devotion.\u00a0 Potiphar could see that Joseph was a cut above the average; made him leader of his household\u2014maximum promotion!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator and Male Ensemble:<\/strong>\u00a0 Potiphar was cool and so fine. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Potiphar:<\/strong>\u00a0 But my wife would never toe the line. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator and Male Ensemble:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's all there in Chapter 39 of Genesis. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Potiphar:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t believe everything you read, dear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator and Male Ensemble:<\/strong>\u00a0 She was beautiful but evil; saw a lot of men against his will.\u00a0 He would have to tell her that she still was his\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Potiphar:<\/strong> You\u2019re mine! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Joseph's looks and handsome figure had attracted her attention.\u00a0 Every morning she would beckon\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mrs. Potiphar:<\/strong>\u00a0 Come and lie with me, love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Narrator:<\/strong>\u00a0 Joseph wanted to resist her, \u2018til one day she proved too eager.\u00a0 Joseph cried in vain\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Joseph:<\/strong>\u00a0 Please stop!\u00a0 I don't believe in free love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Mrs. Potiphar:<\/strong>\u00a0 Pity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[End of Excerpt]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 Have you ever heard that before?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think so, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s from <em>Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat<\/em>.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if you\u2019ve ever thought about Genesis 39, and Joseph, and Potiphar\u2014of course, I don\u2019t know what Potiphar\u2019s wife looked like; right?\u00a0 I don\u2019t know whether, when she said to Joseph, \u201cHey, Joe\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t know whether Joseph was going, \u201cI\u2019m not interested,\u201d or whether Joseph went, \u201cWhoa!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Whoa!\u00a0 I got a feeling, because of the drama in the story, Bob, that she was attractive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you have to think, whether she was attractive or not, \u201cIf this royal official\u2019s wife gave me the order of the day\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014would I have run out of the room?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You would have\u2014yes, you just wonder.\u00a0 I mean, the pressure was on.\u00a0 I think what makes this story most powerful was, obviously, Joseph\u2019s response.\u00a0\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting,\u00a0 Bob, as many times as I\u2019ve read that story, the explanation for why he did what he did was really found earlier in a life that was committed to following God and being obedient to God.\u00a0 When he faced a moral compromise, it was a natural response for him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, our sons, growing up today, at some point, are likely to face\u2014maybe not the royal official\u2019s wife\u2014but somebody in class, or somebody a few grades up from them, or somebody at the mall.\u00a0 They are likely to face a young woman who comes and says, \u201cHey,\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cyou\u2019re kind of cute.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, like the mom who wrote me.\u00a0 She wrote in response to <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>, when I wrote that book.\u00a0 Well, let me just read this.\u00a0 She says, \u201cI have a very outgoing, charming, attractive, 15-year-old son.\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019s a mom.\u00a0 Hey, you know, she\u2019s going to make that\u2014\u201cI have been, literally, chasing the girls away from the door ever since the seventh grade.\u00a0 The phone calls, identified by caller ID, were left for the answering machine to answer.\u00a0 The aggressiveness and promiscuity of young girls nowadays is beyond words.\u00a0 They\u2019re dress is so alluring and inviting to a young man.\u00a0 What\u2019s a guy to do?\u00a0 Moreover, what\u2019s a mom to do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the question.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s what she was wanting help on.\u00a0 That\u2019s why we\u2019ve been talking about, all this week, how we equip our sons to be able to handle sexually-aggressive young ladies.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have just recently finished a book on this subject.\u00a0 One of the things you say is that there are a number of conversations that moms and dads, or moms, or dads need to be having with their sons, as their sons move into adolescence.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve asked your wife to step in and be part of our conversation today.\u00a0 Barbara, welcome.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Nice to have you here.\u00a0 You\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Always good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you were raising your boys, did you see girls, in those days, kind of circling around them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did\u2014with one in particular because, when he entered the seventh grade, he was <em>so cute<\/em>.\u00a0 He hadn\u2019t really gone through that awkward phase, yet.\u00a0 I mean, he was like a fly to a pot of honey.\u00a0 The girls were calling him all the time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We thought, \u201cWhat is going on?\u201d\u00a0 He even thought the same thing, too, because he was pretty much ignored in elementary school; but in junior high, these girls had a different kind of interest.\u00a0 They were after him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did it take you by surprise, or\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you really hadn\u2019t been intentional in preparing him for what was coming because you weren\u2019t\u2014you didn\u2019t know what was coming?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did not know it was coming.\u00a0 It really was\u2014because it was not at all the way girls were when I was growing up; and his older sister, Ashley, was not that way.\u00a0 We were very unprepared for the aggressiveness of the girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the benefits of having a big family is\u2014after you\u2019ve raised six kids, you get it.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 You get it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve seen everything that\u2019s coming around the block.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You begin to anticipate all the issues that are coming your way; and although, perhaps, the form of media or communication has changed today, it\u2019s the same old, same old.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s \u201cThe birds and the bees\u201d.\u00a0 It\u2019s young men and young women who are attracted to each other; and they are going to try to find a way to get together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are suggesting to moms and dads, \u201cYou ought to have a series of conversations.\u201d\u00a0 Would you say these are conversations you have\u2014like one a week, one a night\u2014how would you space out these conversations over time?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t do it in a week.\u00a0 I think you could\u2014your son could absolutely short-circuit and overload (Laughter)\u2014kind of fractured\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014stay in his room for a month, a couple months.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014down the middle.\u00a0 I can picture having this with an 11-, 12-, 13-year-old young man.\u00a0 He\u2019s like, \u201cWhat has happened to Dad?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cOr Mom?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s happened to Mom?\u201d\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would spread it out.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think\u2014Bob, it\u2019s not a matter of having a conversation and you\u2019re done with it.\u00a0 I think, if we erred on one side or the other, we probably didn\u2019t have enough follow-up conversations around each of these seven areas, like we should have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Now, we did talk about it on an ongoing basis.\u00a0 I think, as you find ways, in everyday life, to bring godly perspective and wisdom to bear on your son\u2019s life, you\u2019ve got to use it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to use those teachable moments, when they come your way, to take all the truth you possibly can into your son\u2019s soul so that his character stands strong in the midst of the temptations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What would be a first conversation you\u2019d have to get your son ready for what he may be facing as he moves into adolescence?<strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I want him to understand the value of wisdom.\u00a0 If you look at the book of Proverbs\u2014Proverbs, Chapter 1, verse 7, says, \u201cThe fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.\u00a0 Fools despise wisdom and instruction.\u201d\u00a0 Later on, in the book of Proverbs, it says, \u201cThe fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.\u201d\u00a0 Wisdom, as I talked about with our kids, especially my sons, as I took them on a Bible study at a local restaurant that we\u2019d have before school\u2014we unpacked the definition of what wisdom really is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Wisdom is godly skill in everyday living.\u00a0 It\u2019s living life according to God\u2019s perspective.\u00a0 It is living life the way God designed it.\u00a0 Wisdom is the opposite of foolishness.\u00a0 You\u2019re training your son to be a wise man and not a fool.\u00a0 You\u2019re helping him to look at life through God\u2019s eyes and understand that this thing, called the opposite sex, who\u2019s coming after him\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWait a second! Caution, son!\u00a0 You need to keep your guard up and realize what is happening here may happen to you for a good bit of your life as a man, not only now as a teenager, but well into adulthood.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>A lot of teenagers look at this idea of receiving godly wisdom and they think to themselves, \u201cWell, I need to learn this for myself.\u201d\u00a0 How do you help a young man or woman realize there really is benefit in not going the way of the fool and learning it yourself but listening to someone who has been down the path\u2014learning from godly wisdom?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, that\u2019s a challenge for parents because, I think, one of the jobs for parents is to help your children understand, in a practical way, why wisdom is good for us.\u00a0 So, think through, \u201cWhat are some experiences that your child has had?\u201d\u00a0 You could say, \u201cRemember that bike accident you had?\u201d; for instance, \u201cYou were going too fast down the hill.\u00a0 Now, you understand what it feels like to fall.\u00a0 So, you\u2019re going to be much more cautious when you ride your bike down the hill.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhatever the experience might be with your child\u2014but say, \u201cWouldn\u2019t it have been better not to have fallen at all, and scraped your knee, and banged up your elbow?\u201d\u2014or whatever.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t you wish you could\u2019ve avoided that pain?\u201d\u00a0 Well, that\u2019s what wisdom is all about.\u00a0 When you follow God\u2019s plan, and when you follow His wisdom in the Scripture, and what we\u2019re trying to teach you as your mom, or as your dad, you can avoid those mishaps.\u00a0 You can avoid that pain that will come with making mistakes in life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was watching TV the other night.\u00a0 There was a teenager on a show, blaming the public school system for not teaching about sex.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cNo, no, no.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s not where the responsibility for teaching about sex belongs.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This issue, of what we\u2019re talking about, is fully within the responsibility of a mom and a dad to instruct their sons and their daughters about what\u2019s happening in this culture.\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you what\u2014in this culture, it\u2019s coming at you left and right because of social media, because of cell phones, because of the access young people have that they didn\u2019t have a decade ago.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you, as a parent, need to assume your responsibility for passing on wisdom, which is\u2014repeat after me\u2014\u201cIt is godly skill in everyday living.\u00a0 It is living life the way God designed it.\u201d\u00a0 It means we, as the parents, need to be doing that, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So, you start off by helping him understand that godly wisdom is there for his benefit\u2014that as he goes through the teen years, he is going to want to lean into godly wisdom.\u00a0 He is going to want to listen to godly wisdom.\u00a0 It will save him a lot of pain\u2014fewer accidents if he does that.\u00a0 What\u2019s the second conversation?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, the second one is how you handle sexual temptation will become one of the biggest tests of your life.\u00a0 Did you hear that?\u00a0 \u201cHow you handle sexual temptation will be one of the biggest tests of your life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was evaluating this, and I thought, \u201cYou know, there is only one test, or one temptation, that is bigger, overall, for boys growing into manhood.\u201d\u00a0 You know what it is?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can\u2019t think of one bigger.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it was kind of my thought, too.\u00a0 It was like sexual temptation\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty big.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014is kind of the ultimate one.\u00a0 There is an undercurrent, within all of us, for both boys and girls, that is even bigger than sexual temptation.\u00a0 That is pride\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014wanting to run your own show, wanting to be the master of your soul, wanting to be your own god, not submitting and surrendering your life to Jesus Christ.\u00a0 After that one\u2014I don\u2019t know what\u2019s in third place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are only two, you\u2019re saying.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, there\u2019s not just two, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but they\u2019re so far out in front of the others that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They really are.\u00a0 What you\u2019re doing\u2014moms, dads\u2014is you\u2019re coaching, instructing, building character into your son\u2019s soul to know how to handle one of the biggest temptations he\u2019s going to face now and for the rest of his life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, you have to help your son see that, to not handle sexual temptation properly, could be deadly.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019re talking about consequences here that can be life-altering consequences.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they really can.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got so many sexually-transmitted diseases today.\u00a0 A son needs to know that just one time, one mistake, with the wrong person\u2014and he could have something that he will carry with him for the rest of his days.\u00a0 It\u2019s just not worth it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you think about the whole Joseph story\u2014we listened to it at the beginning\u2014you know, it\u2019s kind of lighthearted and it was kind of fun\u2014but what would have happened\u2014would we have even known who Joseph was if he had given into Potiphar\u2019s wife?\u00a0 I mean, that was the defining moment in his life.\u00a0 If you think about it, he said, \u201cNo,\u201d to her; and that really sealed the rest of his life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWould we know about Joseph if he had said, \u201cYes,\u201d to Potiphar\u2019s wife?\u00a0 Probably not, because he, probably, would have lost his head.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob<\/strong>:\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 For him, it really would have been a death sentence.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You impress the importance of godly wisdom.\u00a0 You talk about how you handle sexual temptation and how life-determinative that\u2019s going to be, not just in your teen years but throughout your life, even after you\u2019re married.\u00a0 What\u2019s the third conversation?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this is pretty simple, but you know what\u2014it\u2019s a big idea, and it\u2019s a good one.\u00a0 It\u2019s a healthy one.\u00a0 God created sex to be enjoyed within the marriage relationship.\u00a0 Now, how wholesome is that?\u00a0 Think about the message that\u2019s coming through on the internet, on prime-time TV, in the evening, on the major networks, in the movies\u2014it\u2019s hook-ups.\u00a0 It\u2019s, \u201cHave sex with somebody you\u2019re just a friend with.\u201d\u00a0 It is, \u201cGive it away\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but know the Bible places nobility, dignity, and the very sacred nature of sex within the boundaries of a commitment called the covenant of marriage.\u00a0 That\u2019s how our kids need to hear about it.\u00a0 They need to understand, \u201cSon, it\u2019s really good\u2014it really is good in marriage; but if you dabble in this outside of marriage, you\u2019re going to pay the price for it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, a lot of moms\u2014they may be single moms, or they may be having these conversations because Dad\u2019s just not engaged, or maybe they are tag-teaming this thing\u2014but for a mom to have a conversation around the joy of sex in marriage, with a son, feels awkward.\u00a0 There\u2019s also the concern, \u201cIs he going to ask me about what I did when I was growing up?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I think that anytime we have conversations about sexual matters with our children, it\u2019s very uncomfortable.\u00a0 It implies a lot of risk.\u00a0 We feel like we\u2019re walking the plank when we do that, but it\u2019s so healthy to enter to those areas with your kids because then they know it is okay to talk about it.\u00a0 So, yes, I understand.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember having a conversation with my three oldest kids, when they came home from summer camp.\u00a0 They had all three been to church camp together.\u00a0 They came home, and they had heard a speaker talk about a sexual matter at the conference.\u00a0 Here I was, sitting on the bed, with my oldest daughter and then my two sons.\u00a0 It was not just \u201cthe girls\u201d.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t \u201cjust the boys\u201d.\u00a0 It was both.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We had this great conversation.\u00a0 I remember thinking, \u201cThis is really kind of risky,\u201d when we got started.\u00a0 Once the ball kind of started rolling, I thought, \u201cThis is so good.\u00a0 It feels so right to have this conversation.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s worth it, especially for single moms.\u00a0 I know it probably feels like, \u201cGosh, I shouldn\u2019t be doing this.\u00a0 I wish I wasn\u2019t the one doing this,\u201d but he\u2019s your son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou have a responsibility to protect him, and sons need to hear these things from their moms.\u00a0 They need to hear that marriage is the place for sex, that it is the safest place, it\u2019s the best place, it is the most wholesome place.\u00a0 They need to have that standard.\u00a0 As Dennis was saying a minute ago, \u201cThis is the ideal. This is the best place.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is God\u2019s design.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It was God who created it, not man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGenesis, Chapter 2, verse 24, \u201cTherefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother, and hold fast to his wife.\u201d\u00a0 Another version says, \u201c\u2026cleave to his wife\u201d\u2014be committed to his wife.\u00a0 Then, look what comes next, \u201cand they shall become one flesh.\u201d\u00a0 Now, what has the culture done?\u00a0 It has reversed the process, \u201cBecome one flesh first; then, get married.\u201d\u00a0 You know, \u201cCohabit first.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m going to tell you\u2014I think we have to, in a wholesome way, uplift the dignity of marriage, as God designed.\u00a0 \u201cHe\u2019s not down on us having fun.\u00a0 He\u2019s not down on us experiencing pleasure.\u00a0 He wants the very best for us.\u00a0 As a young man, my conversation with you is heading sin off at the pass.\u00a0 It\u2019s heading danger off at the pass.\u00a0 It\u2019s helping you proactively know what to do when you\u2019re facing temptation.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright, so, once you help your son see that this is God\u2019s good design\u2014it\u2019s His purpose and plan.\u00a0 It\u2019s a good gift; and it\u2019s something you can look forward to with joy, and anticipation, and excitement.\u00a0 What\u2019s the next conversation?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this gets kind of gritty.\u00a0 Conversation number four\u2014you talk about the characteristics of an adulterous woman.\u00a0 Okay, men, man-to-man, what are you going to say to your son about what an adulterous woman is trying to do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, your son is thinking about a 13-, or 14-, or 15-year-old classmate, or maybe an older girl\u2014I don\u2019t know that he\u2019d think of it in terms of an adulterous woman\u2014but you\u2019re saying that the characteristics are the same.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The seductive woman\u2014the woman who is looking for the hook-up, the woman who is preying upon the innocence\u2014of your boy, of your son, in his early adolescence.\u00a0 Yes, I think we\u2019ve got to help our sons understand what\u2019s going on, not only in her mind, but what does she look like?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is even the phrase in the book of Proverbs, how she <em>brazenly<\/em> seizes him and kisses him.\u00a0 Now, this is not a peck on the cheek.\u00a0 This is a kiss that demands a sexual response.\u00a0 It is one that says, \u201cI\u2019m ready.\u00a0 Come and get it.\u201d\u00a0 Your son, who maybe has never kissed a girl\u2014what happens if that occurred to him?\u00a0 Does he know what to do?\u00a0 Back to Potiphar\u2019s wife\u2014does he know how to flee?\u00a0 What does fleeing look like?\u00a0 It may mean turning your head away from her eyes.\u00a0 It may mean pushing back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, this is where boys have to be taught and trained to go against what their instincts are telling them at the moment\u2014because your instincts at that moment are saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cThis is good!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI like this!\u201d\u00a0 Yes, I think, too, it\u2019s not just the young woman, the teenager, the classmate, who comes up and throws her arms around your son\u2014but it\u2019s the young woman who comes up and just kind of gets too close, or puts her arm through your son\u2019s arm\u2014maybe whispers in his ear, or maybe sits on his lap\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or the one who dresses so suggestively\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that a boy, at that age, couldn\u2019t help\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but notice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but notice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Right.\u00a0 So, it isn\u2019t just the physical actions or the physical aggressiveness\u2014it can be more subtle.\u00a0 It might catch your son off guard because we saw this when our kids were in youth groups.\u00a0 A lot of these girls will come up to the guys and give back rubs.\u00a0 They\u2019ll sit on their laps, and they\u2019re doing it to be playful.\u00a0 They don\u2019t realize\u2014or maybe they do\u2014that it\u2019s inviting more than what the young man really is interested in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it\u2019s explaining all of those things\u2014and all of those actions, all of those behaviors, all of those statements that these girls are making\u2014are intended to get a response out of your son.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there\u2019s more that needs to be covered.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019re just through four of the seven conversations here; but this particular conversation might be spread out over two, three, four, or five different conversations.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, it\u2019ll be spread out over a decade of conversations because I\u2019m just watching how dress\u2014every year, you kind of go by fashion\u2014you kind of go, \u201cHow could women emphasize their bodies anymore than they currently are?\u201d\u00a0 Yet\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014it happens.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014it\u2019s happening.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it keeps happening.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It keeps happening, and our sons\u2014again, you\u2019ve got to take a step back and go, \u201cHe\u2019s na\u00efve.\u00a0 He\u2019s clueless.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t know what\u2019s happening to his body.\u00a0 He needs help in understanding that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mentioned earlier about <em>Passport to Purity<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup>.\u00a0 If you haven\u2019t taken your son through <em>Passport to Purity<\/em>, where he\u2019s heard a full explanation for what\u2019s going on, in this alien takeover of his body called adolescence and puberty\u2014if he hasn\u2019t been through that with you and talked with you about that, that\u2019s absolutely basic to him going through these discussions about how girls are responding him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we\u2019ve already mentioned that <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> has just recently been revised and updated.\u00a0 Next month, it\u2019s going to be available.\u00a0 In fact, our team is working hard to put it all together so that we can have it available so that families can make plans to do this over the summer.\u00a0 You can get a weekend away with your son or your daughter, and go through the <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> material.\u00a0 Let me just mention, too, that a part of the update included contacting our friends at <em>Seeds Family Worship<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> and having them record our Scripture memory verses for us\u2014that are a part of <em>Passport to Purity<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to go to FamilyLifeToday.com, there is information there about the new <em>Passport to Purity<\/em> material.\u00a0 I think\u2014I\u2019m not sure if we\u2019ve worked this out\u2014I think we\u2019ve got it where you can place an order.\u00a0 As soon as it\u2019s available, we\u2019ll ship it out to you.\u00a0 Find out more.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about <em>Passport<\/em> <em>to Purity<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, there is also information about your book, <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s brand-new.\u00a0 It is available.\u00a0 This week, we\u2019re making it available to folks who will support the ministry with a donation.\u00a0 All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you make an online donation, we will automatically send you the new book by Dennis Rainey, <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys;<\/em> and we\u2019ll send you a copy of the book, <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 That\u2019s for fathers of teenage girls.\u00a0 Whether you have boys or girls, these books will help you out.\u00a0 If you don\u2019t have boys or girls, you can pass the books along to somebody else.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and make an online donation; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 When you do that, ask for the books that we were talking about on the radio, <em>Aggressive Girls, Clueless Boys,<\/em> and <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send those out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say we appreciate your financial support of the ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate when you do make a donation.\u00a0 Those donations are what make this program possible, make our website possible.\u00a0 All that we are doing here at FamilyLife is funded primarily by folks, like you, who donate to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate your financial support and are always glad to hear from you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we are going to walk through some of the content of the conversations that you outline for moms and dads in your new book, <em>Aggressive Girls<\/em>.\u00a0 Barbara is going to be back with us, again, tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope our listeners can join us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright <sup>\u00a9<\/sup> 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302505","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302505"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302505"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302505"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302505"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302505"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302505"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302505"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}