{"id":302494,"date":"2012-04-04T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-04-04T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/witnessing-by-loving\/"},"modified":"2012-04-04T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-04-04T15:00:00","slug":"witnessing-by-loving","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/witnessing-by-loving\/","title":{"rendered":"Witnessing by Loving"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you really, practically loving those you&#8217;re trying to reach for Christ?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-04.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.68M","filesize_raw":"24825763","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2821],"tags":[4133,4679,2639],"podcast_series":[7868],"cwp_profile":[8950],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302494","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reaching-out","tag-coming-to-christ","tag-salvation","tag-sharing-your-faith","podcast_series-bringing-the-gospel-home","cwp_profile-randy-newman","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302494\/witnessing-by-loving","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302494\/witnessing-by-loving","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"i2dKM2IaZI\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/witnessing-by-loving\/\">Witnessing by Loving<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/witnessing-by-loving\/embed\/#?secret=i2dKM2IaZI\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Witnessing by Loving&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"i2dKM2IaZI\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Are you really, practically loving those you're trying to reach for Christ?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-04-04.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you tried to share the Gospel with family members and found it doesn\u2019t work so well?\u00a0 Randy Newman says you want to make sure you\u2019re sharing more than words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Family is a place where love is just assumed.\u00a0 Very often, it doesn\u2019t get expressed.\u00a0 \u201cOf course he loves me.\u00a0 He\u2019s my brother.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOf course, I love him.\u00a0 He\u2019s my dad.\u201d\u00a0 It just becomes this unexpressed thing.\u00a0 After awhile it becomes an unfelt thing.\u00a0 One of the things I challenge people to do is to think really carefully how\u2014how can\u00a0 they express love to an adult child, or to a parent, or an aging grandparent, or whoever, so that that person really does indeed feel loved?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, April 4<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Before you tell a family member that God loves them, make sure you\u2019ve told them that you love them.\u00a0\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You have shared with listeners that you were in college when the lights came on in your life, spiritually.\u00a0 Do you remember having conversations with your parents about what was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did that go?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Probably not real well, if we could go back and talk to them.\u00a0 I was probably not a little overzealous\u2014I was probably just a little excited and going, \u201cThis is fantastic!\u00a0 The lights have come on.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m sure they thought on one hand, \u201cThis is great;\u201d but on another hand, it\u2019s like, \u201cWhat do we do with this because he\u2019s sounding like he\u2019s a cult member or something.\u201d\u00a0 You know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think a lot of parents, too, look at it and say, \u201cIt sounds like what you\u2019re saying is that we didn\u2019t give you everything you need as a parent because you\u2019re coming home and saying, \u2018I\u2019ve just found the most important thing in my life.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s the subtle implication, \u201cYou never gave me the most important thing in my life.\u00a0 I found it somewhere else, from someone other than you.\u201d\u00a0 Parents don\u2019t respond warmly to that kind of thinking; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, it would be better if you found Christ, at least from your parents\u2019 perspective, while you were under their roof, under their tutelage; but that may not be how it occurs.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a guest with us today on <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>soon-to-be Dr. Randy Newman.\u00a0 Randy, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Great to be with you.\u00a0 Thanks again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You like the sound of that.\u00a0 I can tell you really do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cSoon-to-be-Doctor.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Randy has written a book called <em>Bringing the Gospel Home<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s all about the lessons he\u2019s learned from more than 31 years of work with Cru<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, working with college students, faculty, and with just dozens of folks who have wanted to take their faith back home, like Bob was talking about just a few moments ago.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBasically, you\u2019ve taken these lessons you\u2019ve learned, and the stories you\u2019ve heard, and you\u2019ve wrapped a cover around it.\u00a0 You\u2019ve really created a coaching book, Randy, to coach us in knowing how best to go back home.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to change your title from Dr. Randy Newman to Coach Newman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Fair enough.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Coach Newman, the team is assembled.\u00a0 You have some single people listening, some married folks, some folks whose parents are old\u2014I mean, really getting up there.\u00a0 They\u2019re concerned about their spiritual condition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And there\u2019s a holiday coming up, or a birthday coming up, or an event and they\u2019re going to be back home.\u00a0 They want to say something, but they don\u2019t know if they should.\u00a0 They don\u2019t know what they should say if they do.\u00a0 They\u2019re calling Coach Newman and saying, \u201cWhat do I do?\u00a0 I\u2019m going home for the weekend.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to be there with the whole family.\u00a0 Do I say something?\u00a0 Do I not say something?\u00a0 How do I know when to say something?\u00a0 Coach me, Coach.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Boy, so many things to say.\u00a0 I want to start by saying, \u201cWell, don\u2019t wait for it to be comfortable because it may never get comfortable.\u201d\u00a0 I think, for a whole lot of people, evangelism is never comfortable or easy; and that\u2019s okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But especially with family members.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 It\u2019s not comfortable or easy with anyone, and then it\u2019s especially so\u2014so okay, so some things are difficult.\u00a0 You ask God to pave the way, and you ask Him to give you wisdom, and you ask Him to give you humility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you remember a statement Dr. Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade for Christ, used to make?\u00a0 \u201cSuccessful witnessing is simply sharing Jesus Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit, and leaving the results to God.\u201d\u00a0 I just want to tell you, that is the place to leave the results.\u00a0 It\u2019s not your responsibility to convert your mom or dad, your brother, your sister, your aunt, your uncle.\u00a0 Conversion and salvation is of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But see, when you said, \u201cSuccessful witnessing\u2014\u201d what that conjured up in my mind is, \u201cI\u2019m going to go home and what\u2014pull out a little booklet and say, \u2018Mom, Dad, I\u2019d like to share some wonderful news with you,\u2019\u201d because that\u2019s what I think of when I think of witnessing.\u00a0 \u201cI may have tried that before as a young adult.\u00a0 That didn\u2019t work.\u201d\u00a0 So what does witnessing look like when you\u2019re back home with the family?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, at the end of the book, I try to wrap it up.\u00a0 I say, \u201cI think there are three keys that we really need to remember.\u201d\u00a0 Of course, I hope people will read the whole book\u2014but time, love and comprehensiveness.\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about time.\u00a0 I think it does just take longer, and I think it\u2019s a more gradual approach.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, with a lot of family, the taking the initiative may mean to talk about <em>part<\/em> of the message of the Gospel, or <em>part<\/em> of a Christian view of reality, and seeing how people respond to that.\u00a0 If they don\u2019t respond very well or they\u2019re resistant, well maybe it\u2019s time to back off.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Give me an illustration of what you mean by sharing <em>part<\/em> of the Gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have tried to talk about spiritual things with one of my relatives, and he\u2019s not interested.\u00a0 He shuts the conversation down before I can get anywhere.\u00a0 If I\u2019m just talking about the existence of God, or the fact that God makes a difference in all of life, walls go up.\u00a0 What I\u2019ve found is\u2014I need to find other things to talk to him about and try to show how the Gospel pertains to that topic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe doesn\u2019t want to talk about God, and he doesn\u2019t want to talk about religion; but he does talk about family, and he does talk about marriage.\u00a0 A couple of years ago he was talking to me about some struggles he was having in his marriage.\u00a0 It was really tense and difficult.\u00a0 I said, \u201cOkay, he wants to talk about marriage.\u00a0 Alright; he doesn\u2019t want to talk about God, but he wants to talk about marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI started saying that, \u201cMy wife and I, we also have our tensions, and our struggles, and our disagreements.\u201d\u00a0 I think he was kind of shocked because, I think, in his mind, you either have a bad marriage or a good one.\u00a0 If you have a good marriage, you never have any problems.\u00a0 But we have plenty of problems\u2014that\u2019s what happens when two sinful people marry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI shared with him that one of the most helpful things in our marriage was that my wife and I had learned a whole lot about how to forgive each other because we\u2019ve got plenty to forgive.\u00a0 We\u2019ve learned how to apologize to each other.\u00a0 He was really listening, more deeply than any other conversation we had had.\u00a0\u00a0 I said, \u201cI think the only reason we know how to forgive each other is because we\u2019ve learned something about being forgiven by God.\u201d\u00a0 Again, he kind of shut things down soon after that, but he heard more about a relationship with God that\u2019s based on forgiveness by my coming in the side door, if I can say it that way.\u00a0 That\u2019s what I mean by the comprehensiveness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we need to talk about the Gospel, not just as it\u2019s this message that, \u201cIf you believe it, you\u2019ll go to heaven;\u201d but, \u201cIt\u2019s a message that has ramifications all over the place\u2014about marriage, about money, about job, about children, about how you think about yourself, how you think about life, how you handle disease.\u00a0 There are a million ramifications of the Gospel that I think we need to talk about.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And specifically, when you talk about marriage, you\u2019re talking about the culprit between two imperfect people is sin, and self, and pride, and our unwillingness to admit fault and ask for forgiveness.\u00a0 You kind of ran past it when you were telling your story, but you talked about how your marriage was made up of two sinners.\u00a0 That implies a standard, and that\u2019s Who God is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI liked the illustration you used, not because it was about marriage and family, but it was that you were sensitive to wanting to break through your uncle\u2019s closed mindedness or his stiff arm that he had out in front of you\u2014to be able to talk with him about his relationship with God and with Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 By the way, that conversation came because I was willing to talk about all sorts of other things, even less pointed than that.\u00a0 When it became clear that he didn\u2019t want to talk to me about religion or spirituality, whatever, what I did find was, \u201cWell, so what does he want to talk about?\u201d\u00a0 I found out that he was really interested in history.\u00a0 \u201cAlright, let\u2019s talk about history.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat gave us the opportunity to have long conversations that opened the way for other conversations.\u00a0 It was a willingness to say, \u201cI don\u2019t always have to talk about Jesus in every single conversation because let me talk about other conversations and see if they lead to the Gospel or some aspect of the Gospel.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that\u2019s an important point.\u00a0 Sometimes we forget cultivating a relationship.\u00a0 We turn relatives into projects instead of friends.\u00a0 Friends talk about football, and they talk about the weather, and they talk about what you\u2019re doing in your life, and your grandkids.\u00a0 They have all of those conversations without an agenda.\u00a0 It\u2019s just how you build a relationship.\u00a0 That\u2019s really what you became committed to\u2014is the cultivation of a relationship.\u00a0 It\u2019s a whole lot easier to share Jesus with your friends than with a stranger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it\u2019s all part of expressing love to someone.\u00a0 When you\u2019re willing to talk about the topics they want to talk about, it\u2019s a kind of an expression of love.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying that you value some of the things that they value.\u00a0 I talked to quite a few people about this topic; and this was the one that elicited the most amount of pain, I think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I would say, \u201cFamily is a place where love is just assumed.\u00a0 Very often, it doesn\u2019t get expressed.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOf course he loves me.\u00a0 He\u2019s my brother.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOf course, I love him.\u00a0 He\u2019s my dad.\u201d\u00a0 It just becomes this unexpressed thing.\u00a0 After awhile it becomes an unfelt thing.\u00a0 One of the things I challenge people to do is to think really carefully\u2014how can they express love to an adult child, or to a parent, or an aging grandparent, or whoever, so that that person really does indeed feel loved?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI recount a pretty long story in the book that our youngest son\u2014I think, for a period of time, really didn\u2019t feel loved by me.\u00a0 I think he felt lectured by me.\u00a0 I mean, if you were to ask him, \u201cDoes your father love you?\u201d well, \u201cOf course, sure he does.\u201d\u00a0 If you really would have pressed him, he would have said, \u201cMy dad is someone who passes rules and lectures about why the world is falling apart, and why things are so terrible, and why you shouldn\u2019t watch certain TV shows, and why you shouldn\u2019t spend too much time on the internet.\u201d\u00a0 He could go on, and on, and on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy son, John, told me once that he thought I had the gift of beating a dead horse; and I think he\u2019s right, actually.\u00a0 But we have a great opportunity to say, \u201cWait a minute.\u00a0 Maybe they don\u2019t feel loved by me.\u00a0 Or even if they do, let me express it again.\u00a0 Let me find another way to show them I really care about them.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI want to spend time with you,\u201d or, \u201cI want to find some time for us to talk.\u201d\u00a0 There are lots of ways to express love\u2014acts of service or conversations\u2014there are lots of ways we can express our love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 I think we can go spend a Thanksgiving together, a Christmas, an anniversary, some kind of festive time where the family gets together\u2014and we may drive away going, \u201cYou know, no one asked me a single question about my life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe can wallow in that self-pity as we drive home, grumbling and griping because some other family member didn\u2019t ask me something about my life, when what we need to do at that point is go, \u201cThe next time I go to a family get-together, I\u2019m going to be intentional about connecting with people, human beings in the family.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to ask, \u2018What\u2019s going on?\u2019 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019m going to ask, \u2018What\u2019s going on?\u2019 in that young person\u2019s life, that elderly person\u2019s life.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to sit down and have a conversation, and I\u2019m not just going to allow it to be one-word answers.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to do our best to try to find out what\u2019s going on there and to ask questions about their lives.\u201d\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 That\u2019s a great moment\u2014to get to know your parent, your brother, your sister.\u00a0 You may assume you know them, but they need you to express concern.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do some seminars, sometimes in churches.\u00a0 I have these conversation skill training things.\u00a0 I have people pair up.\u00a0 One person is going to tell some story about their life\u2014it doesn\u2019t matter what, just whatever.\u00a0 The other person is only allowed to ask questions.\u00a0 This person will tell a story about, \u201cThey went to the zoo.\u201d\u00a0 This person is only allowed to say, \u201cWhere did you go? When did you go?\u00a0 What animals did you see?\u00a0 What did you like the best?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe challenge is for them not to start telling their story because this person will say, \u201cI went to the zoo.\u201d\u00a0 You want to say, \u201cYes; I did, too.\u00a0 You know what my favorite part of the zoo is?\u201d\u2014and actually, we don\u2019t care about your favorite part of the zoo right now.\u00a0 Keep the conversation on them.\u00a0 Now, eventually, you do start sharing your story; but for this exercise, you only can ask questions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor a lot of people, that\u2019s really difficult; but if you can learn it\u2014and it\u2019s not too hard of a skill to learn\u2014you say to somebody, \u201cI really care about your life.\u00a0 Tell me about it.\u00a0 I want to hear about it.\u201d\u00a0 Keep asking them questions and draw them out is a very tangible way to express love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This concept of love to an extended family, especially with your in-laws.\u00a0 There\u2019s a sensitive area that occurs with extended family members, when perhaps one of them is involved in a lifestyle that is against the Scripture.\u00a0 You had a situation that occurred with a brother-in-law\u2014and, actually, a pretty delicate matter.\u00a0 I was impressed, really, with your boldness and courage in handling this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s a beautiful story now; but it was a pretty painful one to walk through.\u00a0 I do recount it in the book.\u00a0 My brother-in-law lived a homosexual life for a decade or even longer.\u00a0 For a long time, we didn\u2019t know that.\u00a0 He kept that hidden from us; but when he came out to us, my wife and I faced this really delicate situation of, \u201cHow do we express love, and concern, and compassion for him\u201d; and yet, also, say that we\u2019re deeply concerned about him\u2014that that\u2019s not a good thing?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile the rest of the world was telling him, \u201cYou\u2019re gay.\u00a0 That\u2019s just the way it is.\u00a0 It\u2019s unchangeable.\u00a0 That\u2019s who you are.\u00a0 Celebrate it.\u201d\u00a0 We were the painful ones who said, \u201cNo, I don\u2019t think this is good.\u201d\u00a0 We tried to be able to say, \u201cIt\u2019s because we love you and because we\u2019re concerned about you that we think you need to think about and face this issue in a different kind of way.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was a long, long process, and a very painful one; but he now is married to a woman.\u00a0 He has seen dramatic change in his life.\u00a0 They have a beautiful daughter.\u00a0 He\u2019s come to faith in a really vibrant way and loves the Lord.\u00a0 It\u2019s that dual side of love\u2014of compassion and affection; and then on the other side, correction and challenge.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well you know, that kind of coaching, which you\u2019ve given us this week, I think, is very helpful, especially as people are thinking about getting together for the holidays, or maybe during the summer\u2014whatever you\u2019ve got planned, Mother\u2019s Day, Father\u2019s Day coming up\u2014just to have those ideas on your heart and in your mind as those events are about to happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDennis, I know you\u2019ve got a final question you want to ask Randy before we\u2019re done; but I want to encourage folks, \u201cGet a copy of the book that Randy has written.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Bringing the Gospel Home.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>It will give you the kind of encouragement we\u2019ve been providing this week, as you think about sharing Christ with friends or with family members.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the book is called <em>Bringing the Gospel Home.<\/em>\u00a0 You can order a copy when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Ask how you can get a copy of the book, <em>Bringing the Gospel Home.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also say, \u201cSome of you may want to get a hold of a tool that we have recommended for years now, called Resurrection Eggs<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>--something that FamilyLife has put together that\u2019s designed to share the Gospel story in a fun, tactile way.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ve always talked about using it with children; but honestly, you can use this with kids of all ages.\u00a0 You can put one of these eggs on everybody\u2019s plate for Easter dinner.\u00a0 Let everybody in the family open one up, and tell you what that particular symbol means, and how it corresponds with the Easter story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you would like to get a set of Resurrection Eggs, the best thing to do, at this point, is to go to your local Christian bookstore.\u00a0 You can probably find a set there.\u00a0 I know many Christian bookstores have them stocked this year, in time for Easter.\u00a0 So again, go to your local Christian bookstore and ask about Resurrection Eggs from FamilyLife.\u00a0 Then, plan to use those this weekend as you get together with your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we also want to take just a minute and say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to the folks who from time to time will get in touch with us and make a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 That\u2019s the way programs like ours work.\u00a0 We\u2019re listener-supported; and as we hear from folks who listen and who are encouraged by this program, we\u2019re able to continue doing it because the donations you make help us cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you\u2019re able to make a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d like to send you as a thank-you gift Barbara Rainey\u2019s brand-new devotional guide for families called <em>Growing Together in Forgiveness.<\/em>\u00a0 In the book, Barbara recounts seven stories, all about forgiveness.\u00a0 These stories are designed to be read aloud to the entire family, and our hope is that it will help cultivate a culture of forgiveness in your own heart and in your home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make a donation online this week at FamilyLifeToday.com, just click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 As you fill out the donation form, we\u2019ll know to send you a copy of Barbara\u2019s new book; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 You can make a donation over the phone and simply ask to receive a copy of the new devotional guide from Barbara Rainey, <em>Growing Together in Forgiveness.<\/em>\u00a0 Again, we just want to say, \u201cThanks, in advance, for your support of the program.\u00a0 Glad to have you as a partner with us here in this ministry.\u201d\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Randy Newman has been our guest this week.\u00a0 Randy, I want to thank you, first of all, for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 My pleasure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But there is a moment that is really uncomfortable that most of us will face with a family member\u2014that\u2019s standing by the bed of a dying person who is still lucid, awake, and can have a conversation.\u00a0 Can you give us just some thoughts of maybe some do\u2019s and don\u2019ts, or what should occur in those final moments, when you really do have a chance to talk to that person?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 First, I want to precede it with\u2014acknowledge the elephant in the room, if there is one.\u00a0 \u201cYou know, Grandpa, I know that this is difficult.\u201d\u00a0 Or, \u201cI know we never talk about this,\u201d or \u201cI know we never have talked about this,\u201d or \u201cI know you don\u2019t like me to talk about this.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s the first thing, acknowledge it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen bridge to the Gospel with, \u201cBut you know, I really love you.\u00a0 I really care about you.\u00a0 I care about you so much that I want to tell you something.\u201d\u00a0 And then, one of the things I say in the book is find a way to be concise in expressing the Gospel, that, \u201cYou can know God in a personal way; but you won\u2019t if sin is a separation between you and your God, as it is for everyone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cBut Jesus is the one who paid the price for your sins.\u00a0 He\u2019s the One who bridges that gap.\u00a0 If you simply tell Him you want to trust in Him as your Lord and Savior\u2014that He\u2019s the One who you are counting on to be your righteousness.\u00a0 Grandpa, would you like to tell Jesus that right now, right here?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we all need to practice saying those things in just neutral situations, on our own.\u00a0 Practice\u2014even writing it out if we need to\u2014or find a tool that expresses it\u2014because nobody is going to be brilliant enough to make that up on the spot.\u00a0 It would be hard to make that up in an easy situation.\u00a0 If you\u2019re next to someone who\u2019s a loved one who is dying, you\u2019re not going to be brilliant on the spot.\u00a0 Don\u2019t count on brilliance on the spot.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPrepare, and know what you would say, and actually know what you would say as a sample prayer.\u00a0 If you\u2019d say, \u201cListen, why don\u2019t you repeat after me?\u00a0 Here\u2019s a prayer you can tell God: \u2018I\u2019m sorry for all of my sin.\u00a0 I repent of all of my sin, but I want to know You.\u00a0 I want to spend eternity with You, and I realize I must have a Savior, and Jesus is my Savior.\u00a0 I place my trust in Him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I might suggest that you take that loved one\u2019s hand.\u00a0 If need be, have this all written out in a letter where you just read them the letter.\u00a0 Then, most importantly, you ask them the question; and then you pause and you let them answer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Randy, it\u2019s been good.\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Randy:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s great to be with you.\u00a0 Thanks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302494","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302494"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302494"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302494"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302494"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302494"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302494"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302494"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}