{"id":302490,"date":"2012-03-29T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-29T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/restoring-the-hope\/"},"modified":"2012-03-29T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-29T15:00:00","slug":"restoring-the-hope","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/restoring-the-hope\/","title":{"rendered":"Restoring the Hope"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Even though Adam had come back home, Laura struggled to forgive him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-29.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"30.12M","filesize_raw":"31579858","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2849,2883],"tags":[2990,5203,4134,5204],"podcast_series":[7390],"cwp_profile":[8957],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302490","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drifting-apart","category-resurrected-marriages","tag-anger","tag-job-loss","tag-life-change","tag-transformation","podcast_series-love-renewed-adam-and-laura-brown","cwp_profile-adam-and-laura-brown","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302490\/restoring-the-hope","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302490\/restoring-the-hope","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"pgWdfsVK7q\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/restoring-the-hope\/\">Restoring the Hope<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/restoring-the-hope\/embed\/#?secret=pgWdfsVK7q\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Restoring the Hope&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"pgWdfsVK7q\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-29.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-29.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Laura Brown's young marriage was a mess.\u00a0 She and her husband Adam had been separated five times, and she came to a point where she simply didn't know what to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Before\u2014I still loved him.\u00a0 I had this love that was holding on, but I developed hopelessness.\u00a0 I began not to trust him, even more; and I'd cry myself to sleep at night, just realizing, \u201cFive times he's left, and I don't even know if I love him anymore.\u201d\u00a0 During that time, it became harder to hold on.\u00a0 It became harder to have hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 29<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Is there a way to find hope for your marriage when things seem hopeless?\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 I know, as a parent, when you think about your kids getting married, you hope that the first few years of marriage will just be an extended honeymoon; don't you?\u00a0 I mean, you hope that they're just going to have a great time getting to know one another.\u00a0 Sure, they're going to have some adjustments that they'll have to make along the way; but you just want it to be a sweet time for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you do; but you also know better.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know that real life comes at us and will come at your children.\u00a0 So, ultimately, you want them to have some foundation and some hope, some blueprint for being able to translate that reality into a good marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You do hope that the road they'll travel on in that first few years of marriage will be a little less bumpy than the one that Adam and Laura Brown, our guests this week, were on in their first few years of marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you sure do.\u00a0 Adam and Laura, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Adam and Laura serve here on FamilyLife staff, now; but who would have ever thought they would be sitting across the table being interviewed on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014because their marriage was in trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you shared with us, already this week, that the first year of marriage\u2014there was isolation, there were trust issues.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAdam, you lost your job.\u00a0 There was drinking and hanging out with friends.\u00a0 You were going off with your buddies to strip clubs, leaving your wife at home.\u00a0 She was pregnant\u2014had just given birth to your first child; and a month after Madeline was born, you found yourself walking out the door, shoving her aside, and on a bus on your way to Tennessee\u2014from Portland, Oregon, to Tennessee.\u00a0 That's a long bus ride; isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did you get back from Tennessee, back home to your wife, and how did you begin the process of trying to see if you could make your marriage work again?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had been gone for a couple of days, and I really just felt I needed to call Laura and at least attempt to ask for forgiveness.\u00a0 I called about three days after I'd been in Tennessee\u2014I'd been gone almost a week\u2014and we talked for a couple of hours.\u00a0 Basically, I remember asking, \u201cIf I were to come home, would you be able to forgive me; and would you let me back in the house?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said that she would, and we had no money.\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, let me call my parents and see if they'll get me home.\u201d\u00a0 I called my parents and explained I was down here in Tennessee with Tim, with a friend of mine, and wanting to come home but I had no money.\u00a0 Could they fly me home?\u201d\u00a0 They said they'd need a couple of days to make the arrangements, and they flew me home just about a week after I had left.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, when you got the phone call, hearing he wanted to come home, why did you agree to let him back in?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Like I said earlier, I didn't really know who I was.\u00a0 I was Adam's wife.\u00a0 That's who I was, and I wanted him back.\u00a0 I wanted things to be back\u2014not the way that they were before he left, but I wanted to make it like the first year of our marriage again.\u00a0 I was willing to accept him back, despite all the hurt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when he came back home and our baby was only four weeks old.\u00a0 So, feelings of post-partum depression, all that\u2014that stuff is still real fresh.\u00a0 We're still dealing with a baby that's up all hours of the night, and it seemed like we hit back into reality really quickly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember just hurting so much inside; but yet, not feeling able to express how I was feeling to him because I was afraid he would just leave again.\u00a0 I dealt with so much turmoil inside of me and not\u2014I think that was\u2014that right there just put us right back in the same spot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you aware of what was going on in your wife's heart, in her life?\u00a0 Were you aware you were back in the old patterns?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, somewhat.\u00a0 I don't remember a day-by-day scenario, but it wasn't too many days or weeks passed before we found ourselves back at the door again\u2014again, just verbally tearing each other down.\u00a0 This time, I'd flee the house, flee the argument.\u00a0 Now that my parents and her parents knew we had problems, I could go out to my parents\u2019 house and stay the night\u2014or most of the time, just head back out to the bars and find some college or high school buddies and crash at their place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Three times in the next year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, a total of five times, our third year of marriage, the first year of Madeline's life.\u00a0 I left Laura and Madeline, both\u2014all five times, talking about divorce.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne time, we separated for, I think, two months over around Christmas and New Years; and we just had to start dating, trying to find any kind of common ground between us that we could light that spark of love and make our marriage work.\u00a0 Each time, it was the same scenario, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 Would you please forgive me?\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be without you.\u00a0 I want to be a father to Madeline, and I want our marriage to work.\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019d accept me back, and we would just never reach out.\u00a0 We always had that face that, \u201cWe were great.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn't until the fifth time that I left, that I came back and Laura said, \u201cYou know, if you're being sincere that you want to make this marriage work, then, we need to go to counseling; and we need to go to Christian counseling.\u201d\u00a0 Having no money, I agreed to counseling.\u00a0 I thought Christian counseling was more expensive.\u00a0 It was one of those things she was saying she wants to do; but, \u201cWe really won't ever do it because of the finances.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had finally come to the end of your rope, where you wouldn't let him back in the house unless he agreed to do the counseling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 It was affecting me too much\u2014him leaving and just the constant roller coaster and the constant hiding it in my heart and trying to be this happy, cheerful wife to him and yet inside dying.\u00a0 By this time, Madeline is creeping up to a year old, and she's understanding that Daddy leaves.\u00a0 I did not want her to live like that anymore.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you have other friends, girlfriends, or adults who were giving you advice along the way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I imagine that some of them were giving you the advice that, \u201cIt's time to end this nightmare and get rid of this guy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I would say 95 percent of the people, even family members, were telling me to give up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even in your church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Really, I mean when I say 95 percent, there were so many people who did not know because I still kept this happy face; but the people I let in were the people that I trusted and loved the most that I could tell.\u00a0 I had people there.\u00a0 I had my parents that believed that we could make it\u2014that they just kept holding on and kept praying that, with the Lord\u2019s help\u2014they trusted that God was going to save our marriage; but it was really hard because I had friends\u2014best friends\u2014that were telling me to give in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLaura, when are you going to get smart, this is the fifth time\u2014this is the fourth time.\u00a0 When are you going to get smart and realize he is not going to come back?\u00a0 How much more pain are you going to go through?\u00a0 How much more are you going to put your child through?\u201d\u00a0 To hear those questions, you know being in\u2014I had to just really\u2014that was testing my faith.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious why neither of you did throw in the towel because so many couples get to this point in marriage and they say, \u201cI\u2019m hearing from my friends there\u2019s no hope.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know whether there is hope.\u201d\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you just cash it in?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll take the first stab at that one.\u00a0 Really, growing up\u2014extended family\u2014divorce is very prevalent in my family.\u00a0 Seeing cousins dealing with mom and dad being divorced, having sat on the couch a couple of times,\u00a0 me with Mom and Dad, explaining to us\u2014and my younger brother and sister\u2014that they were going to be separated and getting a divorce.\u00a0 It was kind of the pride, if you will, Dennis\u2014the pride that, \u201cThat is not going to happen to me.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to make this work. I don\u2019t know how to make it work, but I\u2019m going to make it work; and it\u2019s going to be different.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 For me, it was\u2014it was just that I knew that I had made a vow before God\u2014that\u2019s truly what it is.\u00a0 It was that, when I stood there on that wedding day, I meant every word that I said, \u201cTill death do us part.\u201d\u00a0 Even though that was hard at that time to stand by that vow, I knew that it was before God.\u00a0 How could I turn my back?\u00a0 That would be sinning!\u00a0 No matter how much pain I was in or even how hard it was to deal with friends not encouraging me in this, I knew that I needed to stay in.\u00a0 I knew that there would be hope.\u00a0 I knew that God was a God that is a miraculous God and that He could do everything; and I had that hope that He could change us\u2014that maybe we could be one of those couples that could be changed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were stuck in your marriage, but neither one of you were ready to give up.\u00a0 It was, then, in 1997 that a co-worker, Rita\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Rita, yes.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Uh-huh.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014told you about something that brought some hope to your marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, the thing is she didn\u2019t even know anything about our marital struggles.\u00a0 At least, she didn\u2019t\u2014she may have known it.\u00a0 It was pretty evident, probably on my face.\u00a0 She knew that something was going on, but she just came to me with this brochure\u2014and this is after nine months of counseling.\u00a0 We did start going to the counselor.\u00a0 Rita just handed me a brochure to FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae\u2014I\u2019ll never forget that\u2014it was a fall brochure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cMy husband Lloyd and I go to this every year as a tune-up.\u00a0 No matter where you are in your marriage, this can be a great weekend for you.\u00a0 Can I give you this brochure?\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cSure.\u201d\u00a0 You know, \u201cThanks, Rita; and I\u2019ll talk to Adam about it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember taking the brochure home; and my dad was our babysitter, actually, at the time\u2014coming home and kind of putting it on the counter.\u00a0 My dad was there, and he saw it; and Adam was there\u2014said, \u201cHey, this is something we should look at.\u201d\u00a0 Of course, we didn\u2019t have any money still, and my dad said they wanted to pay for us to go to this conference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, Adam\u2019s stuck again, now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s stuck again.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 There\u2019s no hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you thinking, Adam, \u201cBoy, I really want to go to this thing?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, when she brought it home, I was to the point where, \u201cHey, we\u2019ve been to counseling for nine months; let\u2019s give this thing a shot and see if it\u2019ll give us a boost and get our marriage back on the right track.\u201d\u00a0 While her parents paid for us to attend the conference, my parents paid for us to be able to stay at the hotel; and the conference was actually the weekend before our third-year anniversary.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Had either of them been to the conference?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They just trusted that this was worth the money and wanted to invest in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As the conference date approached, were you expectant or were you apprehensive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was apprehensive.\u00a0 I was getting a little bit nervous that we were going to this romantic <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 Yet, I did not feel like being romantic with my husband.\u00a0 I remember feeling really nervous about that aspect.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, I want to go back\u2014Adam, you were clueless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Completely clueless, but looking forward to it because it was a weekend away with\u2014I knew Madeline was going to be taken care of.\u00a0 It was just going to be \u201cLaura and me\u201d time at a hotel.\u00a0 I was looking forward to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You did not know that your wife's heart had shut down?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, no clue whatsoever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That you're toast; you're history.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you walk into this hotel.\u00a0 What were you thinking as you walk into that hotel, and get your name badge, and your conference manual?\u00a0 Were you cringing inside?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Inside, I was.\u00a0 Yes, I remember just thinking, \u201cWell, we're here now.\u00a0 We've got babysitting lined up.\u00a0 We're here.\u00a0 There\u2019s no way to get out of it.\u00a0 Rita's here even\u2014she knows we're here.\u201d\u00a0 So, I remember just sitting down and really just being nervous about the hotel part.\u00a0 It wouldn't have been as bad, maybe, if I could just go and then go back home; and we could kind of live our separate lives at night, but it was like this is a whole weekend, just the two of us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you doing that?\u00a0 Were you living your separate lives?\u00a0 You\u2019re three in your marriage.\u00a0 He was doing his thing; you were doing your thing.\u00a0 Was there any sense of oneness, or intimacy, or closeness between the two of you at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, not at that point at all.\u00a0 Because of the pornography issue that was going on, on his side, I didn't want to be intimate or anything with him.\u00a0 I did not want to be close to him.\u00a0 I did not want to be.\u00a0 There was\u2014that oneness was not there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were aware of what was going on.\u00a0 How had you found out about his involvement in pornography?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 When he would leave me, I would find out that he was at strip joints.\u00a0 I would see different things come up in the computer or different magazines, different things like that.\u00a0 I could see\u2014really what bothered me was how he looked at other women and how he flirted with other women.\u00a0 I could see that.\u00a0 That was just really degrading to me.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to\u2014I didn\u2019t want to have any part of any romantic weekend with this man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, I want to keep going back to this, Adam.\u00a0 You were clueless that your pornography and your wandering eyes were having any kind of impact upon Laura.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes and no.\u00a0 She had always talked about my wandering eyes.\u00a0 That was a project that I was always working on.\u00a0 Through these nine months, there wasn\u2019t the heavy dose of pornography like when I would leave the house\u2014that\u2019s where I would be going at night.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t\u2014I was not aware of where she was at, or how much I had really damaged her with leaving and with abandoning her, and the things that I did and how gravely it impacted her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you saying you had severed with that past of pornography and going to the strip clubs or that it just wasn\u2019t as prevalent as it had been?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Help me out here\u2014I don\u2019t know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You don\u2019t remember?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You can\u2019t remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, I can\u2019t remember.\u00a0 I want to say it was severed, but I don\u2019t remember.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember that he wasn\u2019t going to the strip clubs\u2014at least, that\u2019s what he was saying\u2014but I knewthat where he worked and the influence that he was around at work\u2014that he was around the pornography very heavily on the computer and magazines at his work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There you are on Friday night, and we begin the conference with \u201cFive Threats to Oneness\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why are you laughing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014back up to the\u2014almost the opening comments by the speaker who said, \u201cSome of your marriages will be changed this weekend.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cChanged in a weekend?\u00a0 How can our marriage be changed in a weekend?\u00a0 There\u2019s no way.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019ve been going to counseling for nine months.\u00a0 Nine months has been kind of baby steps in the right direction.\u00a0 How can a weekend change it?\u00a0 It may give us a hop, skip, and a jump ahead in the right direction; but it\u2019s not going to change our marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe followed it up by saying if we had an open heart, an open mind, and if we were diligent to do the homework\u2014the projects that were going to be taking place throughout the conference\u2014that our marriage could be changed.\u00a0 That\u2019s when kind of my ears perked up and said, \u201cHey, Adam, let\u2019s pay attention.\u00a0 Maybe they know what they\u2019re talking about.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was some fresh hope there?\u00a0 I want to say, at this point, that the projects and homework that are done at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> are all private.\u00a0 It\u2019s just between a husband and a wife.\u00a0 In fact, I think that\u2019s the strength of the weekend is it really\u2014well, in a real sense is an invitation for two people to reconnect or to take their connection deeper if they have a good, healthy relationship\u2014which you all didn\u2019t at that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, okay, back to the original question\u2014you\u2019re seated out there on Friday night, hearing these \u201cThreats to Oneness\u201d.\u00a0 What were you thinking at that point?\u00a0 \u201cThat's us\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThat's us.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or that's somebody else?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Probably both.\u00a0 \u201cThat's us,\u201d \u201cOh, no, that's him,\u201d \u201cOh, that's me,\u201d \u201cThat's us.\u201d\u00a0 Definitely, they were targeting every area of our life that was pretty much messed up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wish we had our conference manuals here because I remember just taking\u2014and the little blank that they give you in the manual wasn't enough for us\u2014the three inches in between each question was taken up by notes and quotes and little asterisks of things to ask Laura afterwards and things like that.\u00a0 It was, \u201cOh, this is awesome.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were getting into it right away on Friday night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Definitely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you getting into it, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was getting into it.\u00a0 I was soaking it up.\u00a0 I think I was so dry\u2014we hadn't been given this information!\u00a0 I was really soaking it up.\u00a0 I think I had a little bit of hope\u2014\u201cWow!\u00a0 They really do know what they're talking about, and they are hitting so many key points in our marriage.\u00a0 I'm going to listen; I'm going to soak this in.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, your heart, which had no EKG on it for him just a couple of hours earlier\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All of a sudden, there's the faint heartbeat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 The faint heartbeat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014for Adam, once again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember on that Friday night, when we wrap up, there's a project that we ask couples to do where you work through those five threats\u2014and you kind of grade yourself, \u201cHow are doing in those areas?\u201d\u2014was there warmth between the two of you, or was there still a distance?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, how about a thaw, Bob?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say there was a flutter for me, at least.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A flutter, and you were starting to show up.\u00a0 Do you remember going to bed that night thinking, \u201cMaybe there is something here\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember, even, we went to Sherry's.\u00a0 I remember we went to this restaurant, Sherry's, and did our homework that night.\u00a0 It felt more like a date.\u00a0 You know, we hadn't been dating; and it felt different.\u00a0 I did have a little bit of hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember we were actually doing this.\u00a0 It wasn't something that we just listened to; and then, \u201cOkay, now, we're just going to go to bed,\u201d and turn on our separate sides and go to bed.\u00a0 We were applying what we had learned, and I did have\u2014that's when the hope started to begin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know the interesting thing is, Dennis, on Friday night, we don't really offer any solutions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, Friday night is just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We just point out the problems.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 We point, and we point, and we point and say, \u201cHere are the issues that cause couples to isolate and to lose oneness in marriage;\u201d but there can be hope that comes just from the understanding, the recognition, that this is a common occurrence in marriage\u2014that people understand\u2014they know what happens.\u00a0 If they know where the problems are, maybe they know how to fix them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I think what a lot of couples are feeling, Bob, is they\u2019re the only ones who are in this ditch.\u00a0 They\u2019re sitting out there\u2014now, all of a sudden, there are these five points.\u00a0 You hear the audience laugh, the audience applaud at points; and there's a sense in which everybody in the audience is agreeing, \u201cYes, that's us.\u00a0 We're all there.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can't help but be encouraged when you realize your marriage is not alone\u2014you know the thing that I\u2014just listening to you, I feel it really intensely at this point.\u00a0 As I listened to you describe the impact that just Friday night had on you, I think, it's really too bad that every couple isn't required to go through this weekend before they get married\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014then, again within 12 to 24 months after they get married.\u00a0 I mean, there is so much good training, equipping, take-away material from the <em>Weekend to Remember.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>It just meets people where they live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm thinking about the number of these getaways we have going on this spring in city after city, where we\u2019re going to be going through this material with our speaker team.\u00a0 One of the things I appreciate about the speakers, who present the material at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, is that this is not some group of experts that we fly in to tell you how to fix everything.\u00a0 These are married couples who have been through the same struggles you\u2019ve been through.\u00a0 They're honest about that.\u00a0 They're transparent.\u00a0 Yet, they have found that the solutions are in the Scriptures, and they\u2019ve applied those solutions in their own marriage.\u00a0 Now, they come along and say, \u201cHere\u2019s what we\u2019ve found that works, and it\u2019ll help you as well.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways that are being hosted throughout the country this spring, or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information.\u00a0 If there is not a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> coming to a city near where you live, here\u2019s an alternative for you.\u00a0 You can do what Adam and Laura Brown just did.\u00a0 You can host an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae video event in your local church, or in your community, or in your lake house, or wherever you got a big screen TV and a DVD player.\u00a0 This is a six-session video event that\u2019s happening in churches and other locations all around the country, and anyone can host it.\u00a0 It\u2019s having a powerful impact on marriages and families.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more about an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> event that may be happening in a city near where you live or how you can host one of these events when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u201cThe <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u201d.\u00a0 It\u2019ll take you to the area of the web where we\u2019ve got all the information about the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> video event.\u00a0 You can find out how you can host one of these events or how you can attend one.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Our toll-free number is 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a quick update\u2014we are getting close to the end of the month of March.\u00a0 All this month, we have been asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to consider becoming Legacy Partners, monthly donors, who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Some of you have done that; we appreciate your support.\u00a0 Our goal this month has been to get one new Legacy Partner in every city where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard\u2014at least that\u2019s the average we are going for.\u00a0 We\u2019re still a little ways away; but we want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who have already signed on as Legacy Partners.\u00a0 We\u2019re hoping, here in the next couple of days, we can get to our goal.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me ask you to do a couple of things.\u00a0 First, join us in praying that God would raise up just the right number of folks to be Legacy Partners.\u00a0 Then, ask the question, \u201cShould we do that?\u201d\u2014make a contribution each month to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this radio program.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to sign on as a Legacy Partner, we have a welcome kit we\u2019ll send you.\u00a0 We have resources we\u2019ll make available throughout the year.\u00a0 These are just our way of trying to build into your marriage and family and to thank you for your partnership with us, here in this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how to become a Legacy Partner; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Again, we appreciate your support, your prayers for the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear the conclusion of Adam and Laura Brown\u2019s story.\u00a0 It does have a happy ending.\u00a0\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["30.12M"],"filesize_raw":["31579858"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302490.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302490.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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though Adam had come back home, Laura struggled to forgive him.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-29.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Laura Brown's young marriage was a mess.\u00a0 She and her husband Adam had been separated five times, and she came to a point where she simply didn't know what to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Before\u2014I still loved him.\u00a0 I had this love that was holding on, but I developed hopelessness.\u00a0 I began not to trust him, even more; and I'd cry myself to sleep at night, just realizing, \u201cFive times he's left, and I don't even know if I love him anymore.\u201d\u00a0 During that time, it became harder to hold on.\u00a0 It became harder to have hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 29<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Is there a way to find hope for your marriage when things seem hopeless?\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 I know, as a parent, when you think about your kids getting married, you hope that the first few years of marriage will just be an extended honeymoon; don't you?\u00a0 I mean, you hope that they're just going to have a great time getting to know one another.\u00a0 Sure, they're going to have some adjustments that they'll have to make along the way; but you just want it to be a sweet time for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you do; but you also know better.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know that real life comes at us and will come at your children.\u00a0 So, ultimately, you want them to have some foundation and some hope, some blueprint for being able to translate that reality into a good marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You do hope that the road they'll travel on in that first few years of marriage will be a little less bumpy than the one that Adam and Laura Brown, our guests this week, were on in their first few years of marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you sure do.\u00a0 Adam and Laura, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Adam and Laura serve here on FamilyLife staff, now; but who would have ever thought they would be sitting across the table being interviewed on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>\u2014because their marriage was in trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, you shared with us, already this week, that the first year of marriage\u2014there was isolation, there were trust issues.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAdam, you lost your job.\u00a0 There was drinking and hanging out with friends.\u00a0 You were going off with your buddies to strip clubs, leaving your wife at home.\u00a0 She was pregnant\u2014had just given birth to your first child; and a month after Madeline was born, you found yourself walking out the door, shoving her aside, and on a bus on your way to Tennessee\u2014from Portland, Oregon, to Tennessee.\u00a0 That's a long bus ride; isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did you get back from Tennessee, back home to your wife, and how did you begin the process of trying to see if you could make your marriage work again?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had been gone for a couple of days, and I really just felt I needed to call Laura and at least attempt to ask for forgiveness.\u00a0 I called about three days after I'd been in Tennessee\u2014I'd been gone almost a week\u2014and we talked for a couple of hours.\u00a0 Basically, I remember asking, \u201cIf I were to come home, would you be able to forgive me; and would you let me back in the house?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said that she would, and we had no money.\u00a0 I said, \u201cWell, let me call my parents and see if they'll get me home.\u201d\u00a0 I called my parents and explained I was down here in Tennessee with Tim, with a friend of mine, and wanting to come home but I had no money.\u00a0 Could they fly me home?\u201d\u00a0 They said they'd need a couple of days to make the arrangements, and they flew me home just about a week after I had left.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, when you got the phone call, hearing he wanted to come home, why did you agree to let him back in?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Like I said earlier, I didn't really know who I was.\u00a0 I was Adam's wife.\u00a0 That's who I was, and I wanted him back.\u00a0 I wanted things to be back\u2014not the way that they were before he left, but I wanted to make it like the first year of our marriage again.\u00a0 I was willing to accept him back, despite all the hurt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember when he came back home and our baby was only four weeks old.\u00a0 So, feelings of post-partum depression, all that\u2014that stuff is still real fresh.\u00a0 We're still dealing with a baby that's up all hours of the night, and it seemed like we hit back into reality really quickly.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember just hurting so much inside; but yet, not feeling able to express how I was feeling to him because I was afraid he would just leave again.\u00a0 I dealt with so much turmoil inside of me and not\u2014I think that was\u2014that right there just put us right back in the same spot.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you aware of what was going on in your wife's heart, in her life?\u00a0 Were you aware you were back in the old patterns?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, somewhat.\u00a0 I don't remember a day-by-day scenario, but it wasn't too many days or weeks passed before we found ourselves back at the door again\u2014again, just verbally tearing each other down.\u00a0 This time, I'd flee the house, flee the argument.\u00a0 Now that my parents and her parents knew we had problems, I could go out to my parents\u2019 house and stay the night\u2014or most of the time, just head back out to the bars and find some college or high school buddies and crash at their place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Three times in the next year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, a total of five times, our third year of marriage, the first year of Madeline's life.\u00a0 I left Laura and Madeline, both\u2014all five times, talking about divorce.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne time, we separated for, I think, two months over around Christmas and New Years; and we just had to start dating, trying to find any kind of common ground between us that we could light that spark of love and make our marriage work.\u00a0 Each time, it was the same scenario, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 Would you please forgive me?\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to be without you.\u00a0 I want to be a father to Madeline, and I want our marriage to work.\u201d\u00a0 She\u2019d accept me back, and we would just never reach out.\u00a0 We always had that face that, \u201cWe were great.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn't until the fifth time that I left, that I came back and Laura said, \u201cYou know, if you're being sincere that you want to make this marriage work, then, we need to go to counseling; and we need to go to Christian counseling.\u201d\u00a0 Having no money, I agreed to counseling.\u00a0 I thought Christian counseling was more expensive.\u00a0 It was one of those things she was saying she wants to do; but, \u201cWe really won't ever do it because of the finances.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had finally come to the end of your rope, where you wouldn't let him back in the house unless he agreed to do the counseling.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 It was affecting me too much\u2014him leaving and just the constant roller coaster and the constant hiding it in my heart and trying to be this happy, cheerful wife to him and yet inside dying.\u00a0 By this time, Madeline is creeping up to a year old, and she's understanding that Daddy leaves.\u00a0 I did not want her to live like that anymore.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you have other friends, girlfriends, or adults who were giving you advice along the way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I imagine that some of them were giving you the advice that, \u201cIt's time to end this nightmare and get rid of this guy.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I would say 95 percent of the people, even family members, were telling me to give up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even in your church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Really, I mean when I say 95 percent, there were so many people who did not know because I still kept this happy face; but the people I let in were the people that I trusted and loved the most that I could tell.\u00a0 I had people there.\u00a0 I had my parents that believed that we could make it\u2014that they just kept holding on and kept praying that, with the Lord\u2019s help\u2014they trusted that God was going to save our marriage; but it was really hard because I had friends\u2014best friends\u2014that were telling me to give in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLaura, when are you going to get smart, this is the fifth time\u2014this is the fourth time.\u00a0 When are you going to get smart and realize he is not going to come back?\u00a0 How much more pain are you going to go through?\u00a0 How much more are you going to put your child through?\u201d\u00a0 To hear those questions, you know being in\u2014I had to just really\u2014that was testing my faith.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just curious why neither of you did throw in the towel because so many couples get to this point in marriage and they say, \u201cI\u2019m hearing from my friends there\u2019s no hope.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know whether there is hope.\u201d\u00a0 Why didn\u2019t you just cash it in?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll take the first stab at that one.\u00a0 Really, growing up\u2014extended family\u2014divorce is very prevalent in my family.\u00a0 Seeing cousins dealing with mom and dad being divorced, having sat on the couch a couple of times,\u00a0 me with Mom and Dad, explaining to us\u2014and my younger brother and sister\u2014that they were going to be separated and getting a divorce.\u00a0 It was kind of the pride, if you will, Dennis\u2014the pride that, \u201cThat is not going to happen to me.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to make this work. I don\u2019t know how to make it work, but I\u2019m going to make it work; and it\u2019s going to be different.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 For me, it was\u2014it was just that I knew that I had made a vow before God\u2014that\u2019s truly what it is.\u00a0 It was that, when I stood there on that wedding day, I meant every word that I said, \u201cTill death do us part.\u201d\u00a0 Even though that was hard at that time to stand by that vow, I knew that it was before God.\u00a0 How could I turn my back?\u00a0 That would be sinning!\u00a0 No matter how much pain I was in or even how hard it was to deal with friends not encouraging me in this, I knew that I needed to stay in.\u00a0 I knew that there would be hope.\u00a0 I knew that God was a God that is a miraculous God and that He could do everything; and I had that hope that He could change us\u2014that maybe we could be one of those couples that could be changed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were stuck in your marriage, but neither one of you were ready to give up.\u00a0 It was, then, in 1997 that a co-worker, Rita\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Rita, yes.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Uh-huh.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014told you about something that brought some hope to your marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, the thing is she didn\u2019t even know anything about our marital struggles.\u00a0 At least, she didn\u2019t\u2014she may have known it.\u00a0 It was pretty evident, probably on my face.\u00a0 She knew that something was going on, but she just came to me with this brochure\u2014and this is after nine months of counseling.\u00a0 We did start going to the counselor.\u00a0 Rita just handed me a brochure to FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae\u2014I\u2019ll never forget that\u2014it was a fall brochure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe said, \u201cMy husband Lloyd and I go to this every year as a tune-up.\u00a0 No matter where you are in your marriage, this can be a great weekend for you.\u00a0 Can I give you this brochure?\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cSure.\u201d\u00a0 You know, \u201cThanks, Rita; and I\u2019ll talk to Adam about it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember taking the brochure home; and my dad was our babysitter, actually, at the time\u2014coming home and kind of putting it on the counter.\u00a0 My dad was there, and he saw it; and Adam was there\u2014said, \u201cHey, this is something we should look at.\u201d\u00a0 Of course, we didn\u2019t have any money still, and my dad said they wanted to pay for us to go to this conference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, Adam\u2019s stuck again, now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s stuck again.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 There\u2019s no hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you thinking, Adam, \u201cBoy, I really want to go to this thing?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, when she brought it home, I was to the point where, \u201cHey, we\u2019ve been to counseling for nine months; let\u2019s give this thing a shot and see if it\u2019ll give us a boost and get our marriage back on the right track.\u201d\u00a0 While her parents paid for us to attend the conference, my parents paid for us to be able to stay at the hotel; and the conference was actually the weekend before our third-year anniversary.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Had either of them been to the conference?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They just trusted that this was worth the money and wanted to invest in your marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As the conference date approached, were you expectant or were you apprehensive?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was apprehensive.\u00a0 I was getting a little bit nervous that we were going to this romantic <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>.\u00a0 Yet, I did not feel like being romantic with my husband.\u00a0 I remember feeling really nervous about that aspect.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, I want to go back\u2014Adam, you were clueless.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Completely clueless, but looking forward to it because it was a weekend away with\u2014I knew Madeline was going to be taken care of.\u00a0 It was just going to be \u201cLaura and me\u201d time at a hotel.\u00a0 I was looking forward to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You did not know that your wife's heart had shut down?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, no clue whatsoever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That you're toast; you're history.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you walk into this hotel.\u00a0 What were you thinking as you walk into that hotel, and get your name badge, and your conference manual?\u00a0 Were you cringing inside?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Inside, I was.\u00a0 Yes, I remember just thinking, \u201cWell, we're here now.\u00a0 We've got babysitting lined up.\u00a0 We're here.\u00a0 There\u2019s no way to get out of it.\u00a0 Rita's here even\u2014she knows we're here.\u201d\u00a0 So, I remember just sitting down and really just being nervous about the hotel part.\u00a0 It wouldn't have been as bad, maybe, if I could just go and then go back home; and we could kind of live our separate lives at night, but it was like this is a whole weekend, just the two of us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you doing that?\u00a0 Were you living your separate lives?\u00a0 You\u2019re three in your marriage.\u00a0 He was doing his thing; you were doing your thing.\u00a0 Was there any sense of oneness, or intimacy, or closeness between the two of you at that point?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, not at that point at all.\u00a0 Because of the pornography issue that was going on, on his side, I didn't want to be intimate or anything with him.\u00a0 I did not want to be close to him.\u00a0 I did not want to be.\u00a0 There was\u2014that oneness was not there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were aware of what was going on.\u00a0 How had you found out about his involvement in pornography?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 When he would leave me, I would find out that he was at strip joints.\u00a0 I would see different things come up in the computer or different magazines, different things like that.\u00a0 I could see\u2014really what bothered me was how he looked at other women and how he flirted with other women.\u00a0 I could see that.\u00a0 That was just really degrading to me.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to\u2014I didn\u2019t want to have any part of any romantic weekend with this man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, I want to keep going back to this, Adam.\u00a0 You were clueless that your pornography and your wandering eyes were having any kind of impact upon Laura.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes and no.\u00a0 She had always talked about my wandering eyes.\u00a0 That was a project that I was always working on.\u00a0 Through these nine months, there wasn\u2019t the heavy dose of pornography like when I would leave the house\u2014that\u2019s where I would be going at night.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t\u2014I was not aware of where she was at, or how much I had really damaged her with leaving and with abandoning her, and the things that I did and how gravely it impacted her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you saying you had severed with that past of pornography and going to the strip clubs or that it just wasn\u2019t as prevalent as it had been?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Help me out here\u2014I don\u2019t know.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You don\u2019t remember?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You can\u2019t remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, I can\u2019t remember.\u00a0 I want to say it was severed, but I don\u2019t remember.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember that he wasn\u2019t going to the strip clubs\u2014at least, that\u2019s what he was saying\u2014but I knewthat where he worked and the influence that he was around at work\u2014that he was around the pornography very heavily on the computer and magazines at his work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There you are on Friday night, and we begin the conference with \u201cFive Threats to Oneness\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why are you laughing?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014back up to the\u2014almost the opening comments by the speaker who said, \u201cSome of your marriages will be changed this weekend.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cChanged in a weekend?\u00a0 How can our marriage be changed in a weekend?\u00a0 There\u2019s no way.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019ve been going to counseling for nine months.\u00a0 Nine months has been kind of baby steps in the right direction.\u00a0 How can a weekend change it?\u00a0 It may give us a hop, skip, and a jump ahead in the right direction; but it\u2019s not going to change our marriage.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe followed it up by saying if we had an open heart, an open mind, and if we were diligent to do the homework\u2014the projects that were going to be taking place throughout the conference\u2014that our marriage could be changed.\u00a0 That\u2019s when kind of my ears perked up and said, \u201cHey, Adam, let\u2019s pay attention.\u00a0 Maybe they know what they\u2019re talking about.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was some fresh hope there?\u00a0 I want to say, at this point, that the projects and homework that are done at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> are all private.\u00a0 It\u2019s just between a husband and a wife.\u00a0 In fact, I think that\u2019s the strength of the weekend is it really\u2014well, in a real sense is an invitation for two people to reconnect or to take their connection deeper if they have a good, healthy relationship\u2014which you all didn\u2019t at that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, okay, back to the original question\u2014you\u2019re seated out there on Friday night, hearing these \u201cThreats to Oneness\u201d.\u00a0 What were you thinking at that point?\u00a0 \u201cThat's us\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThat's us.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or that's somebody else?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Probably both.\u00a0 \u201cThat's us,\u201d \u201cOh, no, that's him,\u201d \u201cOh, that's me,\u201d \u201cThat's us.\u201d\u00a0 Definitely, they were targeting every area of our life that was pretty much messed up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I wish we had our conference manuals here because I remember just taking\u2014and the little blank that they give you in the manual wasn't enough for us\u2014the three inches in between each question was taken up by notes and quotes and little asterisks of things to ask Laura afterwards and things like that.\u00a0 It was, \u201cOh, this is awesome.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were getting into it right away on Friday night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Definitely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you getting into it, too?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was getting into it.\u00a0 I was soaking it up.\u00a0 I think I was so dry\u2014we hadn't been given this information!\u00a0 I was really soaking it up.\u00a0 I think I had a little bit of hope\u2014\u201cWow!\u00a0 They really do know what they're talking about, and they are hitting so many key points in our marriage.\u00a0 I'm going to listen; I'm going to soak this in.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, your heart, which had no EKG on it for him just a couple of hours earlier\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All of a sudden, there's the faint heartbeat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 The faint heartbeat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014for Adam, once again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember on that Friday night, when we wrap up, there's a project that we ask couples to do where you work through those five threats\u2014and you kind of grade yourself, \u201cHow are doing in those areas?\u201d\u2014was there warmth between the two of you, or was there still a distance?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, how about a thaw, Bob?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say there was a flutter for me, at least.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A flutter, and you were starting to show up.\u00a0 Do you remember going to bed that night thinking, \u201cMaybe there is something here\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember, even, we went to Sherry's.\u00a0 I remember we went to this restaurant, Sherry's, and did our homework that night.\u00a0 It felt more like a date.\u00a0 You know, we hadn't been dating; and it felt different.\u00a0 I did have a little bit of hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember we were actually doing this.\u00a0 It wasn't something that we just listened to; and then, \u201cOkay, now, we're just going to go to bed,\u201d and turn on our separate sides and go to bed.\u00a0 We were applying what we had learned, and I did have\u2014that's when the hope started to begin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know the interesting thing is, Dennis, on Friday night, we don't really offer any solutions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, Friday night is just\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We just point out the problems.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 We point, and we point, and we point and say, \u201cHere are the issues that cause couples to isolate and to lose oneness in marriage;\u201d but there can be hope that comes just from the understanding, the recognition, that this is a common occurrence in marriage\u2014that people understand\u2014they know what happens.\u00a0 If they know where the problems are, maybe they know how to fix them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I think what a lot of couples are feeling, Bob, is they\u2019re the only ones who are in this ditch.\u00a0 They\u2019re sitting out there\u2014now, all of a sudden, there are these five points.\u00a0 You hear the audience laugh, the audience applaud at points; and there's a sense in which everybody in the audience is agreeing, \u201cYes, that's us.\u00a0 We're all there.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can't help but be encouraged when you realize your marriage is not alone\u2014you know the thing that I\u2014just listening to you, I feel it really intensely at this point.\u00a0 As I listened to you describe the impact that just Friday night had on you, I think, it's really too bad that every couple isn't required to go through this weekend before they get married\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014then, again within 12 to 24 months after they get married.\u00a0 I mean, there is so much good training, equipping, take-away material from the <em>Weekend to Remember.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>It just meets people where they live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm thinking about the number of these getaways we have going on this spring in city after city, where we\u2019re going to be going through this material with our speaker team.\u00a0 One of the things I appreciate about the speakers, who present the material at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways, is that this is not some group of experts that we fly in to tell you how to fix everything.\u00a0 These are married couples who have been through the same struggles you\u2019ve been through.\u00a0 They're honest about that.\u00a0 They're transparent.\u00a0 Yet, they have found that the solutions are in the Scriptures, and they\u2019ve applied those solutions in their own marriage.\u00a0 Now, they come along and say, \u201cHere\u2019s what we\u2019ve found that works, and it\u2019ll help you as well.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways that are being hosted throughout the country this spring, or call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY for more information.\u00a0 If there is not a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> coming to a city near where you live, here\u2019s an alternative for you.\u00a0 You can do what Adam and Laura Brown just did.\u00a0 You can host an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae video event in your local church, or in your community, or in your lake house, or wherever you got a big screen TV and a DVD player.\u00a0 This is a six-session video event that\u2019s happening in churches and other locations all around the country, and anyone can host it.\u00a0 It\u2019s having a powerful impact on marriages and families.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more about an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> event that may be happening in a city near where you live or how you can host one of these events when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u201cThe <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u201d.\u00a0 It\u2019ll take you to the area of the web where we\u2019ve got all the information about the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> video event.\u00a0 You can find out how you can host one of these events or how you can attend one.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Our toll-free number is 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, a quick update\u2014we are getting close to the end of the month of March.\u00a0 All this month, we have been asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to consider becoming Legacy Partners, monthly donors, who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Some of you have done that; we appreciate your support.\u00a0 Our goal this month has been to get one new Legacy Partner in every city where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard\u2014at least that\u2019s the average we are going for.\u00a0 We\u2019re still a little ways away; but we want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who have already signed on as Legacy Partners.\u00a0 We\u2019re hoping, here in the next couple of days, we can get to our goal.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me ask you to do a couple of things.\u00a0 First, join us in praying that God would raise up just the right number of folks to be Legacy Partners.\u00a0 Then, ask the question, \u201cShould we do that?\u201d\u2014make a contribution each month to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this radio program.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to sign on as a Legacy Partner, we have a welcome kit we\u2019ll send you.\u00a0 We have resources we\u2019ll make available throughout the year.\u00a0 These are just our way of trying to build into your marriage and family and to thank you for your partnership with us, here in this ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how to become a Legacy Partner; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Again, we appreciate your support, your prayers for the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear the conclusion of Adam and Laura Brown\u2019s story.\u00a0 It does have a happy ending.\u00a0\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302490","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302490"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302490"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302490"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302490"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302490"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302490"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302490"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}