{"id":302489,"date":"2012-03-28T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-28T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/a-marriage-on-free-fall\/"},"modified":"2012-03-28T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-28T15:00:00","slug":"a-marriage-on-free-fall","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-marriage-on-free-fall\/","title":{"rendered":"A Marriage on Free Fall"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The first year of marriage was total bliss for Adam and Laura Brown.  But severe trials were waiting for them just around the corner.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-28.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"38.88M","filesize_raw":"40766209","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2849,2883],"tags":[2990,4525,4134],"podcast_series":[7390],"cwp_profile":[8957],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302489","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-drifting-apart","category-resurrected-marriages","tag-anger","tag-finances","tag-life-change","podcast_series-love-renewed-adam-and-laura-brown","cwp_profile-adam-and-laura-brown","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302489\/a-marriage-on-free-fall","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302489\/a-marriage-on-free-fall","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"aENtzoKRlC\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-marriage-on-free-fall\/\">A Marriage on Free Fall<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/a-marriage-on-free-fall\/embed\/#?secret=aENtzoKRlC\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;A Marriage on Free Fall&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"aENtzoKRlC\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-28.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-28.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Adam and Laura Brown hadn't been married long\u2014in fact, it was the first year of their marriage when conflict began to bubble up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a Saturday morning.\u00a0 Laura asked me to go over and mow her parents\u2019 yard.\u00a0 They were, again, paying for some of our bills; so, \u201cWhy can't you do this?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I had my own agenda.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had no way of dealing with stress and anger; and when we would argue, I would have so much anger that I could not even speak.\u00a0 Finally I said, \u201cForget it.\u00a0 This is just way too hard.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, March 28<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will meet Adam and Laura Brown today and hear how anger and stress almost destroyed their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, I have this experience often as I'm in a room with a lot of couples.\u00a0 I'll just look around, and this question will pop into my head, \u201cWhose marriage in here is in trouble?\u201d\u00a0 Because if you've got a room of 100 couples sitting there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the chances are you've got some folks who, everything looks good\u2014a fresh coat of paint on the house.\u00a0 You know, everything looks smooth; but behind the walls, there is tension, there is trouble, and they may be just a step away from the marriage falling off in the ditch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we're going to hear a story of a couple who fell off into that ditch, a couple who are on the staff here at FamilyLife.\u00a0 Adam and Laura Brown join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Adam, Laura, thanks for being on the broadcast and sharing your story with our listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you very much for the opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard about their story a couple of years ago, but it really wasn't until it was written about in <em>The Family Room<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014that's our online magazine that many of our listeners subscribe to each month.\u00a0 It's free.\u00a0 You can just go to our website at FamilyLife.com; and, with a few clicks, you can sign up.\u00a0 Once a month, we'll deposit <em>The Family Room<\/em> in your e-mail box.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a story in <em>The Family Room,<\/em> sometime back, about Adam and Laura.\u00a0 In fact, rather than tell the story, I just want to read it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAdam Brown felt he was at the end of his rope.\u00a0 The money was gone, bill collectors were calling, and he was responsible to take care of his wife Laura and newborn daughter Madeline.\u00a0 One more night of fighting with Laura only made matters worse, and it was too much for Adam to handle.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLaura cried, standing at the door with the baby in her arms, \u2018Please don't go.\u00a0 We can talk.\u00a0 We can make this work,\u2019 but Adam replied, \u2018I don't love you.\u00a0 I don't want to be a part of this marriage.\u00a0 I don't want to be a part of Madeline's life\u2014just move out of the way and let me leave,\u2019 but Laura would not move from the door.\u00a0 So, Adam grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her into the kitchen, far enough that he could leave.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, as I read that, Bob, I\u2014first of all, you think of the drama that leads a couple to this point of where there is verbal and then, ultimately, physical violence; but you think how often couples get off in a ditch, they have no one to help them, they're arguing behind closed doors, no one knows what's going on, and they need help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm sure that the two of you, when you were dating, when you were first married, you never thought this is where things would end up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Never, never, in a million years did I ever think that, no.\u00a0 Still, to this day, I still wonder, \u201cWas that me that did that?\u201d because it seems so unreal and uncharacteristic of me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How long had you been married when this scene took place?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was our second year of marriage; so, probably, just before our second year or just starting the third year maybe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 The first year of our marriage was wonderful!\u00a0 We had a great marriage.\u00a0 Everything was going like we had planned.\u00a0 Adam, right before we had been married, had received the Lord\u2014at least I thought, you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had actually made a commitment to the Lord but for all the wrong reasons\u2014to marry me\u2014but the first year of life\u2014it was all about getting for us.\u00a0 So, the nice cars were important to us, the nice furniture, and everything that we could have kind of to keep up with the Joneses, and our first year was going really good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got, I guess, into our second year of marriage, and that was when things really started to go downhill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, November 23<sup>rd<\/sup>, we celebrated our one-year anniversary.\u00a0 We celebrated Christmas; and then, January 9<sup>th<\/sup>, on my birthday, I went into the office and got fired on the spot for a decision that I had made a few months before\u2014really had to come home and explain to my wife that I had lost my job, that I could no longer provide for the family; but, \u201cDon't worry, I'm young, I've got lots of experience; so, it\u2019ll be okay.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tConsequently, I was out of a job for about seven months, and that's really what started the downward spiral.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tell me about the decision.\u00a0 Had you made an error in judgment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very much so.\u00a0 I was working for a beer, wine, and beverage distributor and provided alcohol to a minor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 As in against the law?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 As in against the law.\u00a0 It was caught and seen by a security guard who reported it to the business.\u00a0 The president came down and said, \u201cYou're fired,\u201d on the spot.\u00a0 I couldn't argue.\u00a0 I had done a very poor and stupid decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had to go home and not just say, \u201cI lost my job,\u201d but tell her that you'd lost your job because you'd made a bad decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was one of those times where you really wish you would have listened to your wife because she was there telling me, \u201cYou shouldn't be doing this.\u201d\u00a0 I remember driving home, going\u2014she's saying, \u201cWhy did you do that?\u00a0 You're going to pay for it.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cDon't worry, it will be okay,\u201d\u2014don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to take you back.\u00a0 You said that when you and Adam were dating, it was in that time that he made a profession of faith in Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So I guess I have to take you back before that time.\u00a0 You were a believer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but you'd fallen for a guy who wasn't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 When we first started dating\u2014I was raised in a very godly home.\u00a0 I have been blessed to have wonderful parents that just passed on a great heritage to me; but when I was a junior in high school and met Adam\u2014and here's this really nice-looking man\u2014I fell for right away.\u00a0 At that time, I fell for him, and I didn't really care where he was in his walk at that time.\u00a0 I think I always thought, too, if I ever met a guy that I could change him, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was raised a Catholic and really did not see any correlation between having Christ in your life and not having Christ in your life.\u00a0 So, when she was talking baptism\u2014\u201cOkay, I got baptized when I was a baby.\u00a0 I did that already,\u201d and kind of got into the old checklist mentality of what do I need to do to become a Christian?\u00a0 Basically, finally, just gave into the fact that, \u201cOkay, if I become a Christian, she'll marry me.\u00a0 I want to get married to her; so, give me my checklist.\u00a0 What have I got to do in order to get married?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They said, \u201cYou need to pray,\u201d and you prayed.\u00a0 Here\u2019s my question for you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014did anything happen spiritually?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, not at all.\u00a0 I look back on it and went, \u201cOh, yes, there was\u201d\u2014kind of like when you light the lighter\u2014when you go to light the lighter and you spin the wheel and then, there\u2019s a flame that (Click) pops up real fast\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014little sparks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014spark.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to do it again before there\u2019s an actual flame.\u00a0 I would say that is what took place in that first time when I made the decision.\u00a0 The little spark went up but nothing else.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hoped he had experienced a genuine conversion, but I didn\u2019t see fruit from it.\u00a0 That\u2019s where I came to the point of, \u201cI can change him now.\u00a0 Okay, he\u2019s made that first decision.\u00a0 There\u2019s no fruit here, but that\u2019s okay.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get married, and I\u2019m going to just work on him.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get him to the point he needs to be at.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At what point, do you remember a time, an incident, when you first thought, \u201cThere is a serious crack in the foundation of our marriage that I wasn\u2019t aware of before this time.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 As soon as Adam started to smoke and drink and lie to me, you know I could smell it on his breath.\u00a0 I could smell it on his hands, and he lied to me.\u00a0 I realized, \u201cThis is not the man that I thought I had married.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Adam, what was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was\u2014Laura and her best possible way was trying to encourage me where I didn\u2019t have a job.\u00a0 She would, \u201cWho are you talking to about getting a job\u201d\u2014doing this and doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was she nagging you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what it came across as because it wasn\u2019t\u2014it didn\u2019t feel like she was coming alongside of me, but rather she was pushing a finger and pointing it down at me.\u00a0 So, I saw it as just a way to rebel against her.\u00a0 When I\u2019d go out for an interview, I may go to that interview but then, hit the bar afterwards\u2014just say that the interview went longer than it did, or that I stopped and dropped off a resume here or there.\u00a0 Really, I\u2014just severely, severely depressed.\u00a0 I saw no light at the end of the tunnel\u2014just really no hope at all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, was this continuing all through the pregnancy?\u00a0 You eventually got a job before the baby was born; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I got a job about a month\u2014probably a month before Madeline was born.\u00a0 I was lumping lumber for a construction company.\u00a0 Guy at the church gave me a job.\u00a0 Looking back on that relationship, with this guy giving me a job, was just a God-send; but I got a job and was putting\u2014barely putting food on the table\u2014and Madeline was born.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe couldn\u2019t have been happier.\u00a0 She was just incredible.\u00a0 \u201cWe could have lived in a cardboard box,\u201d we say.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t care what we didn\u2019t have or did have; we just had this healthy baby, and she was the focus of our attention\u2014just the care that the baby needs, Laura was giving all her attention to Madeline.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would get this second\u2014basically the table scrapes, if you will.\u00a0 That really started me questioning like, \u201cWhy isn\u2019t she giving me any attention?\u00a0 I\u2019m doing some things, and I\u2019m doing these things right.\u00a0 She\u2019s still kind of nagging that we need diapers and we need this and need that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was really when I\u2014it kind of hit rock bottom again, for me.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m trying\u2014I\u2019m doing this; I\u2019m doing that, and it\u2019s still not good enough.\u00a0 Why even keep trying?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember that when Madeline was born, too, it was like she was giving me the joy that he wasn't giving me, and I felt whole again, as being a mom.\u00a0 So, I was having a hard time, \u201cHow do I love Madeline, and I need to give her so much of me\u2014how do I do that; and then, still love this man who is barely providing?\u00a0 He's still smoking, and he's still drinking.\u00a0 Things are looking a little bit better, but why would I choose to give him portions of this love that I can give to this innocent baby who loves me, no matter what?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What was happening in your heart, spiritually, during this two-year period\u2014because you weren't in a marriage where you had a husband who was leading the relationship spiritually?\u00a0 Were you guys going to church regularly?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 We were.\u00a0 We were going to church.\u00a0 I think, a lot of times, though, we were going to church because it's what looked right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, check it off the list.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Keep up appearances.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 We put on this fake face that, \u201cEverything was fine,\u201d you know?\u00a0 I had always been called Laura Lane Bermace, that was my maiden name\u2014\u201cthe girl with the happy face\u201d\u2014and now, Laura Lane Brown, \u201cthe girl who never frowned.\u201d\u00a0 That was kind of how I was, I think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt like, \u201cIf I let this down; and they really see what I'm struggling with, then I'm a failure.\u00a0 I need people to think that I'm doing okay.\u201d\u00a0 We both thought that.\u00a0 I was embarrassed.\u00a0 I didn't want anybody to know\u2014and prideful.\u00a0 So, we just kept on going without help.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know this is an important thing because a couple who is in a ditch, generally speaking, you need a third party to step into your lives\u2014and I\u2019ve used this imagery a couple of times recently in counseling couples\u2014you need a third party to be like a wrecker to pull you both out of your different sides of the road\u2014out of two different ditches.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when we go to that day, when, Laura, you were standing in front of the door\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014keeping Adam from leaving, and he says to you those words, \u201cI don\u2019t love you, I don\u2019t want to be with my little girl, I want out of here.\u201d\u00a0 You had to feel, as he did; you now were at rock bottom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, the lowest that we could have gone.\u00a0 I knew that things were bad in our marriage but to hear, \u201cI don't love you, I don't want you,\u201d that hurt\u2014it crushed.\u00a0 I was so numb.\u00a0 I remember just holding my baby, four weeks old, and just feeling, \u201cWho am I?\u00a0 What am I?\u00a0 What am I going to do?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that point, Adam had left the door.\u00a0 He left out, and he was gone.\u00a0 The truck, I had heard it start up.\u00a0 I had heard it go.\u00a0 I heard him drive off; and now, \u201cWho am I, and what am I?\u201d\u00a0 I think I had placed my identity so much in Adam; and so, then, if I can\u2019t be his wife and he doesn\u2019t want me as his wife\u2014he doesn\u2019t love me, he doesn\u2019t even love our daughter and want our daughter\u2014then, how can I be anything and how can I be good for anybody, even as a mom?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Adam, what had set you off that night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Anger.\u00a0 I had no way of dealing with stress and anger.\u00a0 Smoking and drinking were ways I would deal with stress and anger; and when we would argue, I would have so much anger that I could not even speak\u2014that I would throw my fist into the wall, and I just could not talk.\u00a0 Finally, I said, \u201cForget it.\u00a0 This is just way too hard.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you having arguments every night?\u00a0 Was this just some night when something touched it off?\u00a0 Do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don't know.\u00a0 After\u2014talking afterwards, I think the conversation\u2014or the argument started with Laura.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a Saturday morning.\u00a0 Laura asked me to go over and mow her parents\u2019 yard\u2014and they were, again, paying for some of our bills; so, \u201cWhy can't you do this?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I had my own agenda, my own things to do that day; and just, again, like you said, the things just got heaped up on top of each other.\u00a0 I didn't resolve this conflict last week.\u00a0 Everything was just piling up, and\u2014poof!\u2014it exploded, that boiling point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, when you slammed the door\u2014well, actually, you pushed her out of the way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you throw her out of the way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 She was standing in the door, and she was very strong.\u00a0 I verbally broke her down\u2014\u201cI don't love you, I don't want to be part of this marriage, I don't want to be a part of Madeline\u2019s life\u201d\u2014just broke her down, broke her down, and she still would not move.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it wasn't like just a grab her by the shoulders and gently move her out of the way so I could get out the door.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019re literally fighting each other physically for the door.\u00a0 It, finally, came to the point where I literally just\u2014literally grabbed her as if I was on a football team and threw her sideways so that I could get through the door.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I\u2019m looking at you\u2014I\u2019m thinking she doesn\u2019t stand much of a chance when you want out the door.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 She did.\u00a0 She gave me a good fight, but when I\u2014yes, but when I really wanted to\u2014yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you drove off, did you have any thought in your mind, your conscience, that you'd just thrown your wife and baby?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, I remember leaving\u2014the first thing I thought of is, \u201cWhere can I get a cigarette and a beer?\u201d\u00a0 It wasn't until probably time out\u2014an hour or two after I'd gone\u2014that I felt really remorseful and, \u201cMan, what did I just do?\u00a0 Why did I just do that?\u201d\u00a0 That's when I really thought, \u201cI need to go back and ask for forgiveness, but how can I go back and do that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn't like I had just yelled at her for spilling milk or something.\u00a0 It wasn't something tedious or something small; it was significant.\u00a0 I mean, never in my life had I ever touched her that way.\u00a0 I really just ripped her heart out of her chest, and I felt there would be no way that she would be able to forgive me for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where my pride came in.\u00a0 I did not want to go to three or four people I knew who would be there in an instant\u2014my dad, her dad, brothers, people at church, people outside the church, friends\u2014I mean, just countless number of people I could have gone to, to say, \u201cHey, I need some help,\u201d or \u201cWe need some help,\u201d but I was too prideful.\u00a0 I didn't want to admit my faults to somebody.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I just resolved, \u201cHey, I made this decision, I said these things, I hurt her, I just need to follow through with that decision.\u00a0 As horrible as it is, that's just what I need to do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Weren\u2019t you wondering when you tossed her aside if you\u2019d injured Madeline?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember feeling that way\u2014no.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I\u2014as horrible as that sounds\u2014no.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Where'd you sleep that night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 On a bus.\u00a0 I drove the majority of the day around\u2014specifically going to places where I knew Laura would not be able to find me\u2014went down to the bank, withdrew all the money we had in our checking account, about 250 bucks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cWell, I need to start my life over. I need to get away,\u201d and ran to Tennessee where I had been going to college a year before we got married and had some non-Christian party buddies who I thought would be able to ask me two questions.\u00a0 I'd be able to start my life over there.\u00a0 So, I went down to the train station, purchased a ticket to ride to go to Tennessee, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were living in what state at the time?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, we were living in Portland, Oregon.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So, it was a short train ride.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t a short train ride, not at all\u2014realized that that was going to be taking almost all of my money.\u00a0 So, I found out that the bus was cheaper and hopped on the bus\u2014brought to Tennessee.\u00a0 As we\u2019re driving out of town, I just\u2014I remember just being on that bus, staring out the window, and just totally shocked.\u00a0 At the same time, just depressed, again, that I had failed my marriage, I'd failed Laura.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProbably, at that time, Dennis, was, probably, the first time Madeline came into the picture\u2014realizing that I'm driving out of town away from my daughter.\u00a0 I remember the first stop that the bus made about an hour outside of town, and I called the house.\u00a0 Specifically, just to let Laura know the truck was at the train station.\u00a0 At the time, that was one of our most expensive possessions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I called the house and just left a voice mail saying the truck was at the train station; and boarded the bus and kept on going to Tennessee.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You talk about the metaphor of a marriage that's off in a ditch and needing a wrecker.\u00a0 A lot of couples find themselves at a point where even if there is a voice inside them saying, \u201cI made a mistake, I wish there was a way to fix it,\u201d they don't know what to do; they don't know how to fix it; they think this has been shattered beyond repair.\u00a0 Yet, as we've seen over and over again, in the lives of couples, there is no marriage that is shattered beyond the repair work that God can do; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, and He uses people to intercept people on the run.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the things that Adam and Laura's story illustrates for all of us is that many young couples today are marrying without any plan\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014without some basic relationship skills for, \u201cWhat do we do when conflict comes?\u00a0 How do we communicate effectively with one another?\u00a0 How do we respond when we face inevitable trials and difficulties?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae conference, we provide that kind of relationship training from the pages of Scripture, where God has revealed to us how we are to make a relationship work.\u00a0 Nobody knows better how to make a relationship work than the God of the universe who has pursued us when we broke our relationship with Him, and He came and restored fellowship with us through His Son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He gave us blueprints.\u00a0 As you can imagine, this is not the rest of the story.\u00a0 We didn't come on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a couple who are divorced.\u00a0 They're sitting here together, smiling at each other.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 There is a dramatic conclusion to this story that I want every listener to make sure they hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We want to make sure listeners know what we\u2019re trying to provide here at FamilyLife is help for couples who are in this situation, or in any situation in their marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, that we\u2019ve talked about, is one of the resources that we have available.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got dozens of these events happening in cities all across the country this spring.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the link there for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, and find out when one of our weekend getaways is going to be coming to a city near where you live.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we have the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae video event that\u2019s being hosted in hundreds of locations in April, and May, and June, and on into the summer.\u00a0 In fact, Adam and Laura just hosted an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> event in their local church.\u00a0 This is something that any couple can do.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve got a heart to try to encourage other couples and equip them with biblical help for their marriage, the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> is a six-session video event that can be hosted by any couple who has a desire to do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link for the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> to find out more about either how you can host an event; or if you want to see where one of these events is being hosted in a city near you, again, just click on the link for the <em>Art of Marriage.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Follow the links to get the information you need; or if you need help, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me ask a favor of you, as well.\u00a0 This week, we are in the final days of March.\u00a0 All month long, we have been asking listeners to consider joining us as Legacy Partners to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a monthly donation.\u00a0 Over the next couple of days, we are hoping we will go over our goal of 1,500 new Legacy Partners for the month of March.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a thermometer on the website if you want to see how we\u2019re doing toward that progress.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and check it out; but we\u2019d like to ask you to consider becoming a Legacy Partner and helping support the ministry with a monthly donation to underwrite the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you do that, we\u2019ve got a welcome kit we want to send you, with some resources in it.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you additional resources, each month, to help strengthen and equip your marriage and your family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind all the information about becoming a Legacy Partner when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or give us a call for more information at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Please join us in praying that God would raise up the right number of families to be Legacy Partners and to join with us in this effort.\u00a0 We appreciate that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue to hear Adam and Laura Brown\u2019s story.\u00a0 Actually, it gets worse from what we talked about today before it gets better.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear more about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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first year of marriage was total bliss for Adam and Laura Brown. But severe trials were waiting for them just around the corner.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-28.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Adam and Laura Brown hadn't been married long\u2014in fact, it was the first year of their marriage when conflict began to bubble up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a Saturday morning.\u00a0 Laura asked me to go over and mow her parents\u2019 yard.\u00a0 They were, again, paying for some of our bills; so, \u201cWhy can't you do this?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I had my own agenda.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had no way of dealing with stress and anger; and when we would argue, I would have so much anger that I could not even speak.\u00a0 Finally I said, \u201cForget it.\u00a0 This is just way too hard.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, March 28<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will meet Adam and Laura Brown today and hear how anger and stress almost destroyed their marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know, I have this experience often as I'm in a room with a lot of couples.\u00a0 I'll just look around, and this question will pop into my head, \u201cWhose marriage in here is in trouble?\u201d\u00a0 Because if you've got a room of 100 couples sitting there\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the chances are you've got some folks who, everything looks good\u2014a fresh coat of paint on the house.\u00a0 You know, everything looks smooth; but behind the walls, there is tension, there is trouble, and they may be just a step away from the marriage falling off in the ditch.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we're going to hear a story of a couple who fell off into that ditch, a couple who are on the staff here at FamilyLife.\u00a0 Adam and Laura Brown join us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Adam, Laura, thanks for being on the broadcast and sharing your story with our listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you very much for the opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I heard about their story a couple of years ago, but it really wasn't until it was written about in <em>The Family Room<\/em>\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014that's our online magazine that many of our listeners subscribe to each month.\u00a0 It's free.\u00a0 You can just go to our website at FamilyLife.com; and, with a few clicks, you can sign up.\u00a0 Once a month, we'll deposit <em>The Family Room<\/em> in your e-mail box.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was a story in <em>The Family Room,<\/em> sometime back, about Adam and Laura.\u00a0 In fact, rather than tell the story, I just want to read it. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAdam Brown felt he was at the end of his rope.\u00a0 The money was gone, bill collectors were calling, and he was responsible to take care of his wife Laura and newborn daughter Madeline.\u00a0 One more night of fighting with Laura only made matters worse, and it was too much for Adam to handle.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cLaura cried, standing at the door with the baby in her arms, \u2018Please don't go.\u00a0 We can talk.\u00a0 We can make this work,\u2019 but Adam replied, \u2018I don't love you.\u00a0 I don't want to be a part of this marriage.\u00a0 I don't want to be a part of Madeline's life\u2014just move out of the way and let me leave,\u2019 but Laura would not move from the door.\u00a0 So, Adam grabbed her by the shoulders and threw her into the kitchen, far enough that he could leave.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, as I read that, Bob, I\u2014first of all, you think of the drama that leads a couple to this point of where there is verbal and then, ultimately, physical violence; but you think how often couples get off in a ditch, they have no one to help them, they're arguing behind closed doors, no one knows what's going on, and they need help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm sure that the two of you, when you were dating, when you were first married, you never thought this is where things would end up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Never, never, in a million years did I ever think that, no.\u00a0 Still, to this day, I still wonder, \u201cWas that me that did that?\u201d because it seems so unreal and uncharacteristic of me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How long had you been married when this scene took place?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was our second year of marriage; so, probably, just before our second year or just starting the third year maybe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 The first year of our marriage was wonderful!\u00a0 We had a great marriage.\u00a0 Everything was going like we had planned.\u00a0 Adam, right before we had been married, had received the Lord\u2014at least I thought, you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe had actually made a commitment to the Lord but for all the wrong reasons\u2014to marry me\u2014but the first year of life\u2014it was all about getting for us.\u00a0 So, the nice cars were important to us, the nice furniture, and everything that we could have kind of to keep up with the Joneses, and our first year was going really good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got, I guess, into our second year of marriage, and that was when things really started to go downhill.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, November 23<sup>rd<\/sup>, we celebrated our one-year anniversary.\u00a0 We celebrated Christmas; and then, January 9<sup>th<\/sup>, on my birthday, I went into the office and got fired on the spot for a decision that I had made a few months before\u2014really had to come home and explain to my wife that I had lost my job, that I could no longer provide for the family; but, \u201cDon't worry, I'm young, I've got lots of experience; so, it\u2019ll be okay.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tConsequently, I was out of a job for about seven months, and that's really what started the downward spiral.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Tell me about the decision.\u00a0 Had you made an error in judgment?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very much so.\u00a0 I was working for a beer, wine, and beverage distributor and provided alcohol to a minor.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow!\u00a0 As in against the law?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 As in against the law.\u00a0 It was caught and seen by a security guard who reported it to the business.\u00a0 The president came down and said, \u201cYou're fired,\u201d on the spot.\u00a0 I couldn't argue.\u00a0 I had done a very poor and stupid decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had to go home and not just say, \u201cI lost my job,\u201d but tell her that you'd lost your job because you'd made a bad decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was one of those times where you really wish you would have listened to your wife because she was there telling me, \u201cYou shouldn't be doing this.\u201d\u00a0 I remember driving home, going\u2014she's saying, \u201cWhy did you do that?\u00a0 You're going to pay for it.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cDon't worry, it will be okay,\u201d\u2014don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to take you back.\u00a0 You said that when you and Adam were dating, it was in that time that he made a profession of faith in Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mm-hm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So I guess I have to take you back before that time.\u00a0 You were a believer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but you'd fallen for a guy who wasn't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 When we first started dating\u2014I was raised in a very godly home.\u00a0 I have been blessed to have wonderful parents that just passed on a great heritage to me; but when I was a junior in high school and met Adam\u2014and here's this really nice-looking man\u2014I fell for right away.\u00a0 At that time, I fell for him, and I didn't really care where he was in his walk at that time.\u00a0 I think I always thought, too, if I ever met a guy that I could change him, you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was raised a Catholic and really did not see any correlation between having Christ in your life and not having Christ in your life.\u00a0 So, when she was talking baptism\u2014\u201cOkay, I got baptized when I was a baby.\u00a0 I did that already,\u201d and kind of got into the old checklist mentality of what do I need to do to become a Christian?\u00a0 Basically, finally, just gave into the fact that, \u201cOkay, if I become a Christian, she'll marry me.\u00a0 I want to get married to her; so, give me my checklist.\u00a0 What have I got to do in order to get married?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They said, \u201cYou need to pray,\u201d and you prayed.\u00a0 Here\u2019s my question for you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014did anything happen spiritually?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, not at all.\u00a0 I look back on it and went, \u201cOh, yes, there was\u201d\u2014kind of like when you light the lighter\u2014when you go to light the lighter and you spin the wheel and then, there\u2019s a flame that (Click) pops up real fast\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014little sparks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014spark.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to do it again before there\u2019s an actual flame.\u00a0 I would say that is what took place in that first time when I made the decision.\u00a0 The little spark went up but nothing else.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hoped he had experienced a genuine conversion, but I didn\u2019t see fruit from it.\u00a0 That\u2019s where I came to the point of, \u201cI can change him now.\u00a0 Okay, he\u2019s made that first decision.\u00a0 There\u2019s no fruit here, but that\u2019s okay.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get married, and I\u2019m going to just work on him.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get him to the point he needs to be at.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At what point, do you remember a time, an incident, when you first thought, \u201cThere is a serious crack in the foundation of our marriage that I wasn\u2019t aware of before this time.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 As soon as Adam started to smoke and drink and lie to me, you know I could smell it on his breath.\u00a0 I could smell it on his hands, and he lied to me.\u00a0 I realized, \u201cThis is not the man that I thought I had married.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Adam, what was going on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was\u2014Laura and her best possible way was trying to encourage me where I didn\u2019t have a job.\u00a0 She would, \u201cWho are you talking to about getting a job\u201d\u2014doing this and doing that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was she nagging you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what it came across as because it wasn\u2019t\u2014it didn\u2019t feel like she was coming alongside of me, but rather she was pushing a finger and pointing it down at me.\u00a0 So, I saw it as just a way to rebel against her.\u00a0 When I\u2019d go out for an interview, I may go to that interview but then, hit the bar afterwards\u2014just say that the interview went longer than it did, or that I stopped and dropped off a resume here or there.\u00a0 Really, I\u2014just severely, severely depressed.\u00a0 I saw no light at the end of the tunnel\u2014just really no hope at all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, was this continuing all through the pregnancy?\u00a0 You eventually got a job before the baby was born; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I got a job about a month\u2014probably a month before Madeline was born.\u00a0 I was lumping lumber for a construction company.\u00a0 Guy at the church gave me a job.\u00a0 Looking back on that relationship, with this guy giving me a job, was just a God-send; but I got a job and was putting\u2014barely putting food on the table\u2014and Madeline was born.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe couldn\u2019t have been happier.\u00a0 She was just incredible.\u00a0 \u201cWe could have lived in a cardboard box,\u201d we say.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t care what we didn\u2019t have or did have; we just had this healthy baby, and she was the focus of our attention\u2014just the care that the baby needs, Laura was giving all her attention to Madeline.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would get this second\u2014basically the table scrapes, if you will.\u00a0 That really started me questioning like, \u201cWhy isn\u2019t she giving me any attention?\u00a0 I\u2019m doing some things, and I\u2019m doing these things right.\u00a0 She\u2019s still kind of nagging that we need diapers and we need this and need that.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was really when I\u2014it kind of hit rock bottom again, for me.\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m trying\u2014I\u2019m doing this; I\u2019m doing that, and it\u2019s still not good enough.\u00a0 Why even keep trying?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember that when Madeline was born, too, it was like she was giving me the joy that he wasn't giving me, and I felt whole again, as being a mom.\u00a0 So, I was having a hard time, \u201cHow do I love Madeline, and I need to give her so much of me\u2014how do I do that; and then, still love this man who is barely providing?\u00a0 He's still smoking, and he's still drinking.\u00a0 Things are looking a little bit better, but why would I choose to give him portions of this love that I can give to this innocent baby who loves me, no matter what?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What was happening in your heart, spiritually, during this two-year period\u2014because you weren't in a marriage where you had a husband who was leading the relationship spiritually?\u00a0 Were you guys going to church regularly?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 We were.\u00a0 We were going to church.\u00a0 I think, a lot of times, though, we were going to church because it's what looked right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, check it off the list.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Keep up appearances.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 We put on this fake face that, \u201cEverything was fine,\u201d you know?\u00a0 I had always been called Laura Lane Bermace, that was my maiden name\u2014\u201cthe girl with the happy face\u201d\u2014and now, Laura Lane Brown, \u201cthe girl who never frowned.\u201d\u00a0 That was kind of how I was, I think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI felt like, \u201cIf I let this down; and they really see what I'm struggling with, then I'm a failure.\u00a0 I need people to think that I'm doing okay.\u201d\u00a0 We both thought that.\u00a0 I was embarrassed.\u00a0 I didn't want anybody to know\u2014and prideful.\u00a0 So, we just kept on going without help.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know this is an important thing because a couple who is in a ditch, generally speaking, you need a third party to step into your lives\u2014and I\u2019ve used this imagery a couple of times recently in counseling couples\u2014you need a third party to be like a wrecker to pull you both out of your different sides of the road\u2014out of two different ditches.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when we go to that day, when, Laura, you were standing in front of the door\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014keeping Adam from leaving, and he says to you those words, \u201cI don\u2019t love you, I don\u2019t want to be with my little girl, I want out of here.\u201d\u00a0 You had to feel, as he did; you now were at rock bottom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Laura:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, the lowest that we could have gone.\u00a0 I knew that things were bad in our marriage but to hear, \u201cI don't love you, I don't want you,\u201d that hurt\u2014it crushed.\u00a0 I was so numb.\u00a0 I remember just holding my baby, four weeks old, and just feeling, \u201cWho am I?\u00a0 What am I?\u00a0 What am I going to do?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt that point, Adam had left the door.\u00a0 He left out, and he was gone.\u00a0 The truck, I had heard it start up.\u00a0 I had heard it go.\u00a0 I heard him drive off; and now, \u201cWho am I, and what am I?\u201d\u00a0 I think I had placed my identity so much in Adam; and so, then, if I can\u2019t be his wife and he doesn\u2019t want me as his wife\u2014he doesn\u2019t love me, he doesn\u2019t even love our daughter and want our daughter\u2014then, how can I be anything and how can I be good for anybody, even as a mom?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Adam, what had set you off that night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Anger.\u00a0 I had no way of dealing with stress and anger.\u00a0 Smoking and drinking were ways I would deal with stress and anger; and when we would argue, I would have so much anger that I could not even speak\u2014that I would throw my fist into the wall, and I just could not talk.\u00a0 Finally, I said, \u201cForget it.\u00a0 This is just way too hard.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you having arguments every night?\u00a0 Was this just some night when something touched it off?\u00a0 Do you remember?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don't know.\u00a0 After\u2014talking afterwards, I think the conversation\u2014or the argument started with Laura.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a Saturday morning.\u00a0 Laura asked me to go over and mow her parents\u2019 yard\u2014and they were, again, paying for some of our bills; so, \u201cWhy can't you do this?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I had my own agenda, my own things to do that day; and just, again, like you said, the things just got heaped up on top of each other.\u00a0 I didn't resolve this conflict last week.\u00a0 Everything was just piling up, and\u2014poof!\u2014it exploded, that boiling point. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, when you slammed the door\u2014well, actually, you pushed her out of the way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you throw her out of the way?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 She was standing in the door, and she was very strong.\u00a0 I verbally broke her down\u2014\u201cI don't love you, I don't want to be part of this marriage, I don't want to be a part of Madeline\u2019s life\u201d\u2014just broke her down, broke her down, and she still would not move.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, it wasn't like just a grab her by the shoulders and gently move her out of the way so I could get out the door.\u00a0 I mean, we\u2019re literally fighting each other physically for the door.\u00a0 It, finally, came to the point where I literally just\u2014literally grabbed her as if I was on a football team and threw her sideways so that I could get through the door.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I\u2019m looking at you\u2014I\u2019m thinking she doesn\u2019t stand much of a chance when you want out the door.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 She did.\u00a0 She gave me a good fight, but when I\u2014yes, but when I really wanted to\u2014yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you drove off, did you have any thought in your mind, your conscience, that you'd just thrown your wife and baby?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, I remember leaving\u2014the first thing I thought of is, \u201cWhere can I get a cigarette and a beer?\u201d\u00a0 It wasn't until probably time out\u2014an hour or two after I'd gone\u2014that I felt really remorseful and, \u201cMan, what did I just do?\u00a0 Why did I just do that?\u201d\u00a0 That's when I really thought, \u201cI need to go back and ask for forgiveness, but how can I go back and do that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn't like I had just yelled at her for spilling milk or something.\u00a0 It wasn't something tedious or something small; it was significant.\u00a0 I mean, never in my life had I ever touched her that way.\u00a0 I really just ripped her heart out of her chest, and I felt there would be no way that she would be able to forgive me for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where my pride came in.\u00a0 I did not want to go to three or four people I knew who would be there in an instant\u2014my dad, her dad, brothers, people at church, people outside the church, friends\u2014I mean, just countless number of people I could have gone to, to say, \u201cHey, I need some help,\u201d or \u201cWe need some help,\u201d but I was too prideful.\u00a0 I didn't want to admit my faults to somebody.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I just resolved, \u201cHey, I made this decision, I said these things, I hurt her, I just need to follow through with that decision.\u00a0 As horrible as it is, that's just what I need to do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Weren\u2019t you wondering when you tossed her aside if you\u2019d injured Madeline?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don\u2019t remember feeling that way\u2014no.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 I\u2014as horrible as that sounds\u2014no.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Where'd you sleep that night?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 On a bus.\u00a0 I drove the majority of the day around\u2014specifically going to places where I knew Laura would not be able to find me\u2014went down to the bank, withdrew all the money we had in our checking account, about 250 bucks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cWell, I need to start my life over. I need to get away,\u201d and ran to Tennessee where I had been going to college a year before we got married and had some non-Christian party buddies who I thought would be able to ask me two questions.\u00a0 I'd be able to start my life over there.\u00a0 So, I went down to the train station, purchased a ticket to ride to go to Tennessee, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You were living in what state at the time?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, we were living in Portland, Oregon.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>So, it was a short train ride.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Adam:<\/strong>\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t a short train ride, not at all\u2014realized that that was going to be taking almost all of my money.\u00a0 So, I found out that the bus was cheaper and hopped on the bus\u2014brought to Tennessee.\u00a0 As we\u2019re driving out of town, I just\u2014I remember just being on that bus, staring out the window, and just totally shocked.\u00a0 At the same time, just depressed, again, that I had failed my marriage, I'd failed Laura.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProbably, at that time, Dennis, was, probably, the first time Madeline came into the picture\u2014realizing that I'm driving out of town away from my daughter.\u00a0 I remember the first stop that the bus made about an hour outside of town, and I called the house.\u00a0 Specifically, just to let Laura know the truck was at the train station.\u00a0 At the time, that was one of our most expensive possessions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I called the house and just left a voice mail saying the truck was at the train station; and boarded the bus and kept on going to Tennessee.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You talk about the metaphor of a marriage that's off in a ditch and needing a wrecker.\u00a0 A lot of couples find themselves at a point where even if there is a voice inside them saying, \u201cI made a mistake, I wish there was a way to fix it,\u201d they don't know what to do; they don't know how to fix it; they think this has been shattered beyond repair.\u00a0 Yet, as we've seen over and over again, in the lives of couples, there is no marriage that is shattered beyond the repair work that God can do; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, and He uses people to intercept people on the run.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the things that Adam and Laura's story illustrates for all of us is that many young couples today are marrying without any plan\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014without some basic relationship skills for, \u201cWhat do we do when conflict comes?\u00a0 How do we communicate effectively with one another?\u00a0 How do we respond when we face inevitable trials and difficulties?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae conference, we provide that kind of relationship training from the pages of Scripture, where God has revealed to us how we are to make a relationship work.\u00a0 Nobody knows better how to make a relationship work than the God of the universe who has pursued us when we broke our relationship with Him, and He came and restored fellowship with us through His Son.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He gave us blueprints.\u00a0 As you can imagine, this is not the rest of the story.\u00a0 We didn't come on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a couple who are divorced.\u00a0 They're sitting here together, smiling at each other.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 There is a dramatic conclusion to this story that I want every listener to make sure they hear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We want to make sure listeners know what we\u2019re trying to provide here at FamilyLife is help for couples who are in this situation, or in any situation in their marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, that we\u2019ve talked about, is one of the resources that we have available.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got dozens of these events happening in cities all across the country this spring.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the link there for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, and find out when one of our weekend getaways is going to be coming to a city near where you live.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we have the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae video event that\u2019s being hosted in hundreds of locations in April, and May, and June, and on into the summer.\u00a0 In fact, Adam and Laura just hosted an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> event in their local church.\u00a0 This is something that any couple can do.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve got a heart to try to encourage other couples and equip them with biblical help for their marriage, the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> is a six-session video event that can be hosted by any couple who has a desire to do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link for the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> to find out more about either how you can host an event; or if you want to see where one of these events is being hosted in a city near you, again, just click on the link for the <em>Art of Marriage.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Follow the links to get the information you need; or if you need help, call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me ask a favor of you, as well.\u00a0 This week, we are in the final days of March.\u00a0 All month long, we have been asking listeners to consider joining us as Legacy Partners to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a monthly donation.\u00a0 Over the next couple of days, we are hoping we will go over our goal of 1,500 new Legacy Partners for the month of March.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got a thermometer on the website if you want to see how we\u2019re doing toward that progress.\u00a0 You can go to FamilyLifeToday.com and check it out; but we\u2019d like to ask you to consider becoming a Legacy Partner and helping support the ministry with a monthly donation to underwrite the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you do that, we\u2019ve got a welcome kit we want to send you, with some resources in it.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you additional resources, each month, to help strengthen and equip your marriage and your family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind all the information about becoming a Legacy Partner when you go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or give us a call for more information at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Please join us in praying that God would raise up the right number of families to be Legacy Partners and to join with us in this effort.\u00a0 We appreciate that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue to hear Adam and Laura Brown\u2019s story.\u00a0 Actually, it gets worse from what we talked about today before it gets better.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear more about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302489"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302489"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302489"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302489"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}