{"id":302487,"date":"2012-03-27T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-27T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-power-of-forgiveness\/"},"modified":"2012-03-27T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-27T15:00:00","slug":"the-power-of-forgiveness","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-power-of-forgiveness\/","title":{"rendered":"The Power of Forgiveness"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Barbara Rainey, author of &#8220;Growing Together in Forgiveness,&#8221; shares some compelling stories about those who have walked the road to forgiveness.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-27.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.02M","filesize_raw":"24139834","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2908],"tags":[2699],"podcast_series":[7867],"cwp_profile":[3052],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302487","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-forgiveness","tag-forgiveness","podcast_series-growing-together-in-forgiveness","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302487\/the-power-of-forgiveness","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302487\/the-power-of-forgiveness","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"DSELfgicW4\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-power-of-forgiveness\/\">The Power of Forgiveness<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-power-of-forgiveness\/embed\/#?secret=DSELfgicW4\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Power of Forgiveness&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"DSELfgicW4\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Barbara Rainey, author of \"Growing Together in Forgiveness,\" shares some compelling stories about those who have walked the road to forgiveness.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-27.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If there was a recipe for healthy families, one of the main ingredients would be a lot of forgiveness.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s in family, with siblings and with parents, where so often we\u2019re hurt the worst, where we suffer sometimes the most profoundly.\u00a0 That is where forgiveness is needed the most because those relationships are the most important relationships in our lives.\u00a0 They are formative relationships.\u00a0 We\u2019re bonded to those people, but we are hurt by those people.\u00a0 We need to learn to forgive them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, March 27<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Do your children know how to forgive one another?\u00a0 Do you know how to forgive?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 You know, there are some things that a guest has shared on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> that just kind of stuck with you\u2014just one of those things you carried away.\u00a0 Back in the first year or two that we were on the air, we were interviewing a guest talking about how children develop character, how they develop a sense of right and wrong.\u00a0 This guest said, \u201cIf you want to teach your kids right and wrong, morality, you teach it to them through history, through story, and through example.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was thinking about that as I thought about this series of books that your wife Barbara has been working on\u2014and Barbara, by the way, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Always nice to have you here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is great to have you\u2014you look a whole lot better than Bob.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Bunch\u2014much better, Sweetie.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have to\u2014I agree with that, as a matter of fact\u2014but, Barbara, you\u2019ve been working on this series of books for families\u2014devotional books\u2014designed to use story and history to drive home character qualities.\u00a0 You can\u2019t use example.\u00a0 Parents have got to come up with that one on their own.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014story and history\u2014these are powerful ways to transmit values; aren\u2019t they?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 They are.\u00a0 I think our children today need role models.\u00a0 It makes me sad to think that some of the greatest role models of the Christian faith are being forgotten.\u00a0 There are people today who don\u2019t know who Corrie ten Boom is.\u00a0 I just think, \u201cOh, my gosh!\u00a0 That\u2019s tragic!\u201d\u2014and people who don\u2019t know some of the great believers of the faith, that we can model our lives after.\u00a0 We want our kids to know these people because they are great role models.\u00a0 I think some stories from history are wonderful for our kids because they are inspirational and will help them understand the truth we want to teach, as parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A few years ago, you took seven stories about the issue of gratitude and put them in a devotional guide for parents called <em>Growing Together in Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0 Then, you said, \u201cOkay, we\u2019re going to do another one.\u201d\u00a0 That was <em>Growing Together in Courage<\/em> and, then, <em>Growing Together in Truth.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>You\u2019ve just finished a brand-new devotional called <em>Growing Together in Forgiveness<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was thinking about courage and gratitude\u2014those, honestly, are a little lighter weight\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014then, this one, forgiveness.\u00a0 We\u2019re diving\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014into some deep stuff here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 Yes, forgiveness is a much more complex and a much more difficult concept\u2014not only to teach your children but to practice as human beings because, in order to forgive, you have to set aside your own desires to get even, or to exact revenge, or to make the other person pay, or whatever you want to call it.\u00a0 We all feel that.\u00a0 Internally, when someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back, or we want to get them back somehow.\u00a0 So, forgiveness is a much more difficult, much more complicated topic to teach than gratitude.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I want to read something you wrote.\u00a0 In the front of your book, you said, \u201cBecause we love poorly, we must forgive frequently.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a great statement, \u201cBecause we love poorly, we must forgive frequently.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not a one and done action\u2014although, I wish it was.\u00a0 \u201cRepetition is necessary.\u00a0 Humility is needed for we must bow before God, Himself.\u00a0 It is He who instructs us to forgive.\u00a0 He is the one to Whom we must answer.\u00a0 He alone is the Judge who knows all hearts.\u201d\u00a0 Then, you go on to say this, you say, \u201cUltimately, the power of forgiveness lies in its ability to replay God\u2019s forgiveness over and over in our lives.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I read that statement that you wrote, Barbara, I thought, \u201cYou know, maybe as we forgive one another, we have fresh reminders that Almighty God, who is the ultimate Judge of all creation, has ultimately forgiven us in Jesus Christ once and for all.\u201d\u00a0 He really has sent His Son to die on the Cross for our sins and to pay the price for all of our wrong doings, and He has forgiven us so that we know how to forgive another imperfect person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>That\u2019s what you are saying.\u00a0 When we love each other and we fail, we have a chance to replay the Gospel of what Jesus Christ did for us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 And get a fresh start in the relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When we lack motivation, to go back to the Cross and to go, \u201cOkay, here\u2019s what I did.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what God did in forgiving me,\u201d\u2014it\u2019s pretty hard to stay mad at your brother for swiping your candy bar if you\u2019re thinking about how you\u2019ve sinned against God and how God sent His Son as a sacrifice for you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou tell a story in your book, <em>Growing Together in Forgiveness<\/em>, that comes from New Zealand.\u00a0 I had to wonder\u2014you and Dennis had the chance to go to New Zealand\u2014did this come\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 It did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This story came while\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you were over there?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Yes, we had a chance to go celebrate 21 years of FamilyLife\u2019s ministry in New Zealand with Andy and Nikki Bray.\u00a0 I wish our listeners could meet Andy and Nikki.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s been on a dialysis machine\u2014in fact, he\u2019s the oldest surviving person with no kidneys in all of New Zealand.\u00a0 Yet, he\u2019s building families by the thousands in New Zealand\u2014making a difference.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhile we were there, we had the chance to get a tour of some of the area.\u00a0 That\u2019s where we heard this story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 We heard the story of the natives of New Zealand.\u00a0 They are called the Maori.\u00a0 There were some missionaries who showed up on the shores of New Zealand, and began to build a settlement, and began to get to know the natives, the Maori people, and learn their language, and translate the Scripture into their language.\u00a0 One of the people that they met was a little12-year-old girl, whose name was Tarore.\u00a0 She came to the mission school.\u00a0 She was very bright.\u00a0 She caught on very quickly.\u00a0 She was one of their best students.\u00a0 As she grew and got to know them, she received Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs a gift, this missionary couple gave her the Gospel of Mark, which was translated into her language, into the Maori language.\u00a0 She treasured that.\u00a0 She carried it in a little purse around her neck\u2014a little straw purse that she had made.\u00a0 She would go back to her tribe in the evenings after school was over.\u00a0 Because she was the only person in her tribe who could read, she would sit around the fire at night, and she would read from the Gospel of Mark to everyone in the tribe.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, one day, the missionaries realized that they needed to move their camp, move their settlement, because there was a lot of infighting with some of these Maori tribes.\u00a0 They made arrangements to pack up and move, and move to a little bit safer location.\u00a0 They agreed, with the tribal leaders, that some of these children, who were their best students, would go with them so they could continue learning.\u00a0 Tarore was one of them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs they travelled to their new location, they were attacked by a neighboring tribe.\u00a0 Everyone escaped, except Tarore.\u00a0 She was killed by this warring tribe.\u00a0 The story is what makes this so remarkable.\u00a0 When I heard it, I thought, \u201cI have to tell that in my forgiveness book because Tarore\u2019s father had been listening to her read about Jesus.\u00a0 He had been listening about how Jesus came to bring peace, how Jesus came to bring forgiveness, and that Jesus taught that revenge was not the way to make things better.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was all he had ever known because that was why they were constantly fighting with each other.\u00a0 Tarore\u2019s father remembered the words of Jesus.\u00a0 He said, \u2018I want to be the one to stop this.\u2019\u00a0 From that story, he actually did grant forgiveness to this other warrior, and the truth of the Gospel spread throughout these tribes.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, in New Zealand that story\u2014it\u2019s in book form\u2014is taught to all the children in all of New Zealand.\u00a0 It\u2019s a bedrock of that nation\u2019s history\u2014the story of this little girl who gave her life to Christ and brought the story of forgiveness to her people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s a little nuance to that\u2014that Barbara writes about in her book, but she just left out.\u00a0 The warrior, who killed the little girl, stole the Gospel of Mark\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014from around\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014from her\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014from her neck.\u00a0 Took it home and began to read it.\u00a0 She says, \u201cThe warrior who stole the little book was curious about its contents.\u00a0 He found someone who taught him what it said.\u00a0 As he listened, he, too, believed the words of Jesus and felt great regret that he had killed Tarore.\u00a0 He decided to ask for forgiveness.\u00a0 Walking a great distance and taking a great risk that he might be killed in revenge, this warrior found both Tarore\u2019s father and forgiveness.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, you look at this and you think of the passage in Romans 8, \u201cAll things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purposes.\u201d\u00a0 Here\u2019s a little girl who came to faith in Christ, who was seemingly innocently murdered; but she ended up being the messenger of the Gospel to two divisions of a warring tribe, to bring reconciliation with God but also reconciliation between the tribes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think there is a powerful lesson there, that at some point, when we\u2019re going back and forth with one another, somebody\u2019s got to say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I\u2019ll bear the brunt in order to bring peace.\u00a0 I will stop the cycle instead of returning evil for evil\u201d\u2014as it says in 1 Peter\u2014you give a blessing instead.\u00a0 It\u2019s a powerful principle that comes from that story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlso, noticed that you tell the story of somebody who was a guest on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, a former Olympic athlete.\u00a0 Were you listening to our program?\u00a0 Is that where this story came from?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Probably!\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Yes, this story is about another young woman.\u00a0 Her name is Kim Anthony; and Kim grew up in the city of Richmond, Virginia.\u00a0 She became enamored, as an eight-year-old girl, with the sport of gymnastics because it was on TV\u2014the Olympics in the summer of when she was eight years old.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe saw these girls doing cartwheels, and flips, and tumbling all over the mats, and doing all this.\u00a0 She thought, \u201cI can do that.\u00a0 I want to do that.\u00a0 I want to become like that.\u201d\u00a0 She taught herself to do cartwheels, and flips, and aerials, and all of these complicated gymnastic maneuvers, on her own, in her backyard, and on her concrete sidewalk.\u00a0 Nobody would ever think of doing that kind of difficult maneuver on concrete.\u00a0 I mean, you could kill yourself; but she became quite good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was recognized, joined a local gym, and was immediately put on their traveling competitive team.\u00a0 She quickly rose through the ranks of gymnastics and began winning competitions, and winning awards and medals, and did all these things.\u00a0 Eventually, she was offered a scholarship to UCLA; and she was an All-American there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe interesting thing about Kim\u2019s story\u2014and the reason that her story made my book\u2014is because Kim had a rough background.\u00a0 Kim had a bad relationship with her daddy.\u00a0 I wanted to tell her story because, as Kim grew up and when she was in college, she learned about Jesus Christ and gave her life to Christ.\u00a0 Kim took that relationship with Christ and applied it to her relationship with her dad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe ended up meeting with him and forgiving him face-to-face for all the times that he wasn\u2019t there for her, all the times that he didn\u2019t give her the love that she wanted, because a part of that loss in her life of relationship with her daddy was what pushed her to excellence in gymnastics.\u00a0 I thought as I read her story\u2014I thought, \u201cYou know, this is a story that many of us can relate to because there aren\u2019t too many people who had perfect daddies\u201d; right?\u00a0 Probably, nobody has had a perfect daddy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Therefore, all of us grew up with some deficiency.\u00a0 All of us grew up with some loss because our parents weren\u2019t perfect, and they made mistakes.\u00a0 There are a lot of daddies who made a lot of mistakes, and they need to be forgiven.\u00a0 Kim\u2019s story tells us how to forgive a mom or a dad who has fallen short and made some mistakes that you have suffered from.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I really agree with what Barbara is talking about here.\u00a0 Over the years, I\u2019ve had the privilege of mentoring probably a couple dozen guys along the way.\u00a0 A number of years ago, I had a young man\u2014as I began to mentor him and talk about where he\u2019d come from, it was clear that he had some deep wounds that had been put there by his father\u00a0 They had not been reconciled.\u00a0 He had never really forgiven his father and moved toward his father with forgiveness.\u00a0 I gave them the assignment to begin working on that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, forgiveness is one of those things that says, \u201cEasy,\u201d but does, \u201cHard,\u201d if you really <em>do it.<\/em>\u00a0 If you truly forgive, you have to give up the right to bring harm and hurt back to them in retaliation.\u00a0 I think the best kind of forgiveness is not that which flips a switch and just kind of flippantly, \u201cOh, yes.\u00a0 I forgive you\u201d\u2014like our five-year-old and eight-year-old did when they were growing up, \u201cOh, yes, I forgive you,\u201d or \u201cForgive me.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At our house, it sounded more like [exaggerated voice] \u201cI forgive you,\u201d \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 Yes, like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what it was like at our house.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As an adult, you start looking at forgiveness, especially with a parent, and you go, \u201cGod has commanded me to forgive my dad, my mom\u2014just as God in Christ forgave me.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a process.\u00a0 I mean, let\u2019s get honest here.\u00a0 That\u2019s not an easy thing to do, especially if the hurt runs really deep.\u00a0 For some of our listeners, it does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s really what I like about what Barbara\u2019s book is all about.\u00a0 It\u2019s talking about real people who have endured serious hardship and hurt.\u00a0 You\u2019re really pressing people back into those relationships, to reconcile with other people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, because I think that\u2019s what God has called us to do.\u00a0 As parents, we need to train our children to know how to do that because they have to practice it at home, growing up, because they are going to have to continue to forgive as adults.\u00a0 If they don\u2019t learn the basic principles at home, they\u2019re not going to know how to forgive in their own marriages and in their own families, in their work relationships, and with neighbors.\u00a0 I want families to have some mental images, some pictures of others who have done it, so they know how to do it themselves.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve said many times here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, as I grow older, I want to grow old, with a smile on my face.\u00a0 I do not think you can fill your heart with sulfuric acid of resentment, anger, bitterness, and put it in a container and let it reside there without it affecting your face.\u00a0 Your face is going to reflect the corruption of your heart.\u00a0 All of us know older people\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014get a little grumpy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just\u2014yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just a little, tad grumpy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 They don\u2019t have to be really old either, honestly.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, there\u2019s a lot about life that kind of takes the wind out of the sails.\u00a0 You just got to keep coming back to the truth, and be anchored in that, and refuse to be a person who gives into the dark side of our hearts.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think there\u2019s a little method to your book writing here.\u00a0 These stories are for parents to read to their children, but you\u2019ve got some parents in mind when you include these stories.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I do.\u00a0 Yes, I do.\u00a0 I just remember, as a parent, when I would read things to my kids, read stories, or read books to my children, I learned as much or more than they did.\u00a0 I know that there are parents out there who don\u2019t really have this nailed.\u00a0 I mean, I didn\u2019t have it nailed.\u00a0 We had to decide, \u201cHow are we going to teach our children to forgive?\u00a0 What are the steps?\u00a0 What are they going to be?\u201d\u00a0 I know, as a parent, we needed all the help we could get.\u00a0 So\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s one story before we\u2019re done here I want you to just share with our audience.\u00a0 It was, in my opinion, one of the pivotal points in our family, where you humbled yourself, and you asked family members to forgive you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I did.\u00a0 It was a Thanksgiving, and I had been through kind of a season in my life.\u00a0 I was probably in my early 40s, maybe mid-40s.\u00a0 I had realized that\u2014not that I was unaware that I had made a lot of mistakes with my kids\u2014but it kind of culminated in, for whatever reason\u2014I don\u2019t even know what God was doing\u2014I just realized that, even though I had asked my kids to forgive me for all these little, individual things that I had done\u2014times when I have lost my temper, times when I had done whatever.\u00a0 I don\u2019t even remember.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Been impatient.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, been impatient, that kind of thing.\u00a0 I just sensed that I needed to apologize to them much more generally and just let them know that I really wanted to be a good mom; but I was a sinner, I was broken, and I had made way more many more mistakes than I wanted to.\u00a0 I wanted them to forgive me for being human, for being broken, and for being an imperfect mother because I really wanted to give them more.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, what did that moment look like?\u00a0 Where were you, and how did you do it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 We sat in our living room, and the kids were kind of wondering, \u201cWhat in the world is going on?\u201d\u00a0 You know, I\u2019m sure they were quite confused because I had called this meeting.\u00a0 I had written out this one-page thing because I knew that I probably wouldn\u2019t be really good on my feet.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had something I wanted to read, and I cried my way through most of it because I just was so sad that I had failed my kids.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t that I was a failure because I knew better than that, but I had failed my kids.\u00a0 I had made more mistakes than I ever believed that I would make as a mother because I love my kids.\u00a0 I wanted to do what was right; but the sum total of my depravity had come out more than I had intended, wanted, imagined that it would.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just wanted them to hear that I was just profoundly sorry that they were having to grow up with an imperfect mother who was not doing\u2014it\u2019s like the verse in Romans, where Paul said, \u201cThe things that I want to do, I don\u2019t do; and the things that I don\u2019t want to do, I do.\u201d\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to get impatient with my kids.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to be angry with them.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to be frustrated with them because I love them, but I did all those things.\u00a0 I just\u2014I really, I really regretted it.\u00a0 So, I asked them to forgive me for all of it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You said that was a pivotal point in your family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I think so because it wasn\u2019t that the kids hadn\u2019t heard me ask for forgiveness or Barbara, as she said; but it was a powerful, emotional moment, especially for Barbara\u2014and for that matter, me.\u00a0 Even though I wasn\u2019t the one asking for forgiveness, I experienced it with her.\u00a0 I think it spoke volumes to our children that she loved them.\u00a0 She did want to be a mom who loved them well, but that she had failed.\u00a0 It modeled, to your point, Bob, about not only history, but stories, but also modeling.\u00a0 It modeled the very message she\u2019s talking about in this new book on forgiveness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know a part of your hope with this new book is that as moms and dads read these stories to their children, God would spark in hearts a need to repent, to ask for forgiveness, to seek it, to grant it to others\u2014that the work of forgiveness would happen as people are motivated by the examples that we read about in <em>Growing Together in Forgiveness<\/em>.\u00a0 If you would like to get a copy of Barbara\u2019s new devotional, <em>Growing Together in Forgiveness<\/em>, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There\u2019s more information available there about the book.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition to Barbara\u2019s newest devotional, we also have copies of <em>Growing Together in Truth; in Courage; in Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0 Each of these contains seven stories designed to be read aloud to the family to help cultivate some of these character qualities in your family, in your home.\u00a0 So, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the <em>Growing Together<\/em> series of devotionals by Barbara Rainey; or call us toll-free at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 We\u2019ll let you know how you get one or all of these devotionals sent out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have been encouraged, this month, by those listeners who\u2019ve gotten in touch with us and said, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 What <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is doing is important.\u00a0 It\u2019s helpful.\u00a0 We think it\u2019s good for us.\u00a0 We think it\u2019s good for our community.\u00a0 We want to help make that happen by becoming Legacy Partners.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019ve heard from a number of listeners.\u00a0 In fact, there is a little thermometer on our website that shows how many we\u2019ve heard from because our goal has been to hear from 1,500 new Legacy Partners this month.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re still a ways away from that goal, but we\u2019re hoping that this last week of the month some of you who have been thinking about calling will pick up the phone and say, \u201cI want to join.\u00a0 I want to become a Legacy Partner\u2014make a monthly contribution to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 When you do that, this week, we\u2019re going to send you a welcome kit that welcomes you to the growing family of Legacy Partners.\u00a0 It includes a CD with a special message that Dennis and I did for our Legacy Partners, a couple of travel mugs; and then, each month, you\u2019ll receive additional resources, designed to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\u00a0 It\u2019s our way of staying connected with you as you continue to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more about becoming a Legacy Partner.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the Legacy Partner link you find there; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY and say, \u201cI want to know more about becoming a Legacy Partner.\u201d\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance to those of you who have been Legacy Partners throughout the years with us.\u00a0 We appreciate that.\u00a0 To our new Legacy Partners, \u201cWelcome aboard.\u00a0 Glad to have you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope all of you will be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302487","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302487"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302487"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302487"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302487"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302487"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302487"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302487"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}