{"id":302485,"date":"2012-03-26T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-26T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/why-should-i-forgive\/"},"modified":"2012-03-26T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-26T15:00:00","slug":"why-should-i-forgive","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-should-i-forgive\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Should I Forgive?"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Forgiveness is love practiced among people who love poorly.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-26.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.77M","filesize_raw":"23877294","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2908],"tags":[2699],"podcast_series":[7867],"cwp_profile":[3052],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302485","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-forgiveness","tag-forgiveness","podcast_series-growing-together-in-forgiveness","cwp_profile-barbara-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302485\/why-should-i-forgive","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302485\/why-should-i-forgive","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"hSRK9l6WeS\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-should-i-forgive\/\">Why Should I Forgive?<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/why-should-i-forgive\/embed\/#?secret=hSRK9l6WeS\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Why Should I Forgive?&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"hSRK9l6WeS\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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poorly.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-26.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are times when forgiving another person is very difficult, until you stop and think about the cross.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Barbara Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s important, I think, that we understand that forgiveness is a gift.\u00a0 It enhances the relationship when you let that person off the hook, when you set them free.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean that it\u2019s easy or that the other person will respond favorably; but the more we can understand the grace of God in our lives and our own need for forgiveness, it does make the whole process of forgiving another person more reasonable, more logical, and more obvious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, March 26th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about how you can grow in the grace of forgiveness and cultivate a culture of forgiveness in your home.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.\u00a0 So, did you mess up somehow?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course.\u00a0 I mean, of course I messed up!\u00a0 That\u2019s a safe question!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I get this email from you, and it says\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What if I started the broadcast by asking you if you messed up?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur listeners know!\u00a0 You and I both have messed up a lot.\u00a0 That\u2019s what this broadcast is all about\u2014<em>real <\/em>family life!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I get this email from you.\u00a0 This email says, \u201cI need to have my wife on the program to talk about growing together in forgiveness.\u201d (Laughter)\u00a0 I thought, \u201cOkay, so what did you do this time?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it is illustrated richly out of our relationship!\u00a0 She\u2019s just finished a book\u2014a devotional for families.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cWhat better venue to talk about this than with real families who are struggling with real life?\u201d\u00a0 In fact, before I introduce Barbara, let me just read a portion of the first paragraph in this book.\u00a0 She says, \u201cI know a family in which two brothers haven\u2019t spoken in years and another family in which a brother and sister haven\u2019t spoken in decades.\u00a0 There are no perfect family trees because there are no perfect people.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLater on, she goes on and has a quote in there that says, \u201cForgiveness is love practiced among people who love poorly.\u201d\u00a0 I like that!\u00a0 \u201cForgiveness is love practiced among people who love poorly.\u201d\u00a0 If you think about the Bible, especially the New Testament, what\u2019s it about?\u00a0 It is about relationships\u2014our relationship with God\u2014knowing how to experience His forgiveness of us because He sent His Son to pay the price so that we could be forgiven.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But it doesn\u2019t end there.\u00a0 It is so that we can express forgiveness toward other imperfect people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can I say, \u201cHi,\u201d to your wife, who joins us in the studio?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Bob.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I thought we might not get to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis sounded like he was on a soapbox there for just a minute.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I believe in this message.\u00a0 In fact, I don\u2019t know if I helped steer her in this direction because she\u2019s now written\u2014isn\u2019t this the fourth book?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is number four.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The fourth book you\u2019ve completed in this devotional series.\u00a0 Explain to our listeners kind of what the big dream is for <em>Growing Together\u2014<\/em>this series.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Before you do that, how\u2019s the temperature in here?\u00a0 Is it a little chilly for you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s cool, but I\u2019m okay.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a jacket on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, just thought I\u2019d check.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 (Laughter) It\u2019s an inside joke; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s not inside to me.\u00a0 Bob and I have worked together in here for 20 years, and he likes it to be a toasty 95 degrees in here.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 And <em>you <\/em>like to exaggerate!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I prefer 55 degrees\u2014a little chill like a meat locker; okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 So while I\u2019m in here, it can be warmer; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is warmer, no doubt.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So tell us about the <em>Growing Together <\/em>series.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, this is a series of books that I\u2019ve had a desire to do for years.\u00a0 When we were raising our children, we had a ten-year span between the youngest and the oldest.\u00a0 There were books for toddlers\u2014little devotional things you could do with little kids.\u00a0 There were devotional books you could do with your teenagers, but there wasn\u2019t anything that spanned the ages.\u00a0 I really wanted something that I could read with <em>all<\/em> of my kids and not have to do them in two different groups.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing that I noticed, when I was raising kids, was that most devotionals were random in their organization.\u00a0 They were not topically-driven.\u00a0 What I\u2019ve done with these is\u2014I have made a series of books.\u00a0 The first four are each about a specific topic.\u00a0 The first one is gratitude<em>.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>For seven days, you read stories of people who practiced gratitude.\u00a0 The second one is on courage.\u00a0 There are seven stories on being courageous.\u00a0 The third one is on truth, and this one is on forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy hope is that, as a family, as you read these stories of <em>real <\/em>people who practiced these principles in their lives\u2014for a whole week\u2014you might be able to make some progress in teaching gratitude or in practicing forgiveness because you talk about it over and over again for a whole week rather than these random topics that pop up all the time, in different order.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen the list.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got a whole bunch more of these that you\u2019d love to do.\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen some of the topics.\u00a0 Why did forgiveness work its way up near the top of the deck here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Partly because forgiveness is just a bedrock principle of the Christian faith.\u00a0 It\u2019s pretty hard to love if you can\u2019t forgive.\u00a0 You need forgiveness in order to do the Christian life.\u00a0 You can\u2019t really do the Christian life if you can\u2019t forgive because we have to be forgiven first in order, then, to forgive others.\u00a0 Part of practicing the truth is forgiveness.\u00a0 Part of being courageous is being courageous in forgiving those who have offended you.\u00a0 It is such an important topic that it needs to be near the front of the line.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard you quote Ruth Bell Graham who said, \u201cA great marriage is the union of two great forgivers.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve shared that quote.\u00a0 Really, at the very foundation of this\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014when we\u2019re talking about forgiveness, every human relationship is going to require, at some point in time, that forgiveness be offered and that forgiveness be received because we sin against each other <em>daily<\/em>; don\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we\u2019re sinful people.\u00a0 Really and truly, it\u2019s not just that every relationship will require forgiveness at some point in time.\u00a0 It\u2019s every relationship will require lots of forgiveness lots of the time.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got two people in a marriage who need to forgive each other multiple times every day.\u00a0 Then you start adding children to that.\u00a0 The need for forgiveness is just compounded because of the number of sinful people that are living under one roof.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You have a passage of Scripture that you recommend as the memory verse for this entire series of stories about forgiveness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 The verse that we\u2019ve chosen for the memory verse is not really a verse that has the word forgiveness in it; but instead, it is the verse from Genesis 50, verse 20, where Joseph said to his brothers, \u201cAs for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s the essence of forgiveness\u2014is realizing that God has a big picture in mind.\u00a0 I\u2019m not letting somebody off the hook.\u00a0 I\u2019m cooperating with what God wants to do in my life and what God wants to do in this other person\u2019s life.\u00a0 That\u2019s the reason I chose that verse instead of, \u201cForgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven you.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a great verse about forgiveness\u2014and we should have that memorized, too\u2014but I wanted our listeners\u2014I wanted families\u2014to pull back to the big picture and forgive in the context of God\u2019s sovereignty.\u00a0 God is at work in the midst of all of our failings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Notice, again, that the context of this passage is about family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s about brothers who threw a brother under the bus and sold him into slavery.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it was under the mule that they threw him,\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 but we get the idea!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Under the caravan hooves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, Sweetheart, give our listeners an idea of the topics that you cover.\u00a0 Then, let\u2019s come back and let\u2019s talk about this first one here.\u00a0 Just give them a high flyby of the seven topics you discuss in this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, they\u2019re not just topics, if I might clarify.\u00a0\u00a0 There is a topic for each story, but they\u2019re all around an individual person\u2019s life.\u00a0 The first one is John Newton.\u00a0 The topic is \u201cForgiveness Is a Gift Received.\u201d\u00a0 As I said a minute ago, we have to receive forgiveness before we can learn how to give it.\u00a0 Then, the second story is about Joseph.\u00a0 We were just talking about him.\u00a0 That\u2019s the concept of \u201cForgiveness Is a Gift Given.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, we have this young woman, and I will probably not pronounce her name exactly right; but her name is Tarore.\u00a0 This was an 1850\u2019s-something story about this little girl who learned about the love of Christ from the missionaries who came to New Zealand to spread the Gospel.\u00a0 Her story is \u201cForgiveness Is a Gift of Sacrifice.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen we have Louis Zamperini.\u00a0 His is \u201cForgiveness is a Gift of Freedom.\u201d\u00a0 Kim Anthony is a young woman who was a gymnast, and she had to forgive her father.\u00a0 Her story is \u201cForgiveness is a Gift of Love.\u201d\u00a0 We have a story about Rwanda.\u00a0 In that country, forgiveness was practiced as a \u201cGift of Hope\u201d; then, Martin Luther King, Jr., \u201cForgiveness is a Gift of Peace.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are a lot of misconceptions about forgiveness\u2014about what it is and what it isn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Through these stories, you\u2019re trying to help people get a clearer picture that forgiveness is not just waving something away and saying, \u201cOkay, it didn\u2019t really bother me\u201d\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s right!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014or, \u201cIt doesn\u2019t really matter,\u201d or, \u201cOh, that\u2019s fine.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re really taking us deeper into the fact that forgiveness takes some work; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes.\u00a0 It does take work.\u00a0 It takes a lot of work, and some situations are much more difficult than others.\u00a0 Some forgiveness can be offered fairly easily, but some forgiveness may take months or years.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got stories that kind of show the breadth of that because forgiveness isn\u2019t as easy, sometimes, as I think we would like for it to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you provide a definition of forgiveness in the book or do the stories kind of define it on their own?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think the stories define it because they show different aspects of it and how it works.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 When we forgive someone, we give up the right to punish them.\u00a0 You can know if you have forgiven someone for a hurt they caused you\u2014for a wound, for something they\u2019ve said against you\u2014if your hands are open.\u00a0 If your hands are clenched and you are wanting to hurt back, or you\u2019re wanting to point your finger at them and accuse them, then you likely have not forgiven them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Forgiveness says, \u201cI give up the right to keep on punishing you.\u00a0 I relinquish that right and I tell you, \u2018I forgive you.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re differentiating between forgiveness and reconciliation because you can let go of the hurt and the resentment, and the desire to punish, and still not be reconciled to a friend or a loved one; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 There are abusers who have done evil things to little girls and little boys growing up, who may never repent.\u00a0 There may not be reconciliation, at a relational level, with them\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but it doesn\u2019t mean the person, who has been abused, has to be locked up and imprisoned in anger, and resentment, and wanting to punish that other person.\u00a0 They can move through the process, as Barbara was talking about.\u00a0 It probably will take months or years to be able to do that but, finally, give up the right to punish.\u00a0 In the process, you may be thinking you\u2019re letting the other person out of the prison.\u00a0 What is the reality, however, is that you\u2019re the one who is being set free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara, in Ephesians, Chapter 4, the Bible says to, \u201cbe kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God, for Christ\u2019s sake, has forgiven you.\u201d\u00a0 You start the book with a story of someone who understood forgiveness because he first understood that God had forgiven him much.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 I chose to start the book with the story of John Newton who was very aware of his own fallenness, of his own sin, of his own depravity.\u00a0 John Newton grew up with a father who was a sea captain.\u00a0 He, at 11 years of age, went to sea with his father.\u00a0 He was exposed to all the evils, all the wickedness, all the depravity on those ships with men, and their drunkenness, and all that went on on those ships.\u00a0 He adopted that kind of a lifestyle.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was in the late 17- or early 1800\u2019s, I believe.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most people, if they know the name John Newton at all, know it because he wrote the hymn, <em>Amazing Grace<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But a lot of people don\u2019t know this back-story.\u00a0 He lived at sea and lived an immoral life as a slave trader for years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, that\u2019s right.\u00a0 When he came to understand his need for a Savior, it was dramatic and it was profound.\u00a0 What motivated him to write the hymn that we all know and love so well--<em>Amazing Grace\u2014<\/em>was his forgiveness\u2014the forgiveness that he had received from God, even though he didn\u2019t deserve it.\u00a0 Therefore, he wrote <em>Amazing Grace<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s important for us to understand that we must first be forgiven.\u00a0 We need to understand how and why God would choose to forgive us; and, \u201cIf God can forgive me, then I can forgive you.\u201d\u00a0 I can extend forgiveness to someone else.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s an important concept to understand\u2014that forgiveness is based on our being forgiven, first.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just as John Newton was forgiven much, and as a result, had a story to tell that ultimately played its way out in a song that has endured throughout the ages, every one of our listeners, who has made a personal commitment to Jesus Christ, has a story.\u00a0 They have a story of God\u2019s forgiveness of them that is unique to their lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think sometimes we take that for granted.\u00a0 God\u2019s imprint on our lives comes out of that place where we\u2019ve lived.\u00a0 For John Newton, it was in the hold of a ship, where\u2014I mean, he was with a bunch of barbarians\u2014you know, not an easy life at all.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of our listeners have come from some pretty tough, rugged backgrounds.\u00a0 In other cases, they\u2019ve come from good homes\u2014from maybe families that raised them to fear God.\u00a0 Perhaps, they avoided a wicked lifestyle.\u00a0 They, too, have a story to tell.\u00a0 All those stories have the common denominator that they were forgiven by God through faith in Jesus Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The interesting thing for me, too, is that I think we tend to all minimize our own need for forgiveness.\u00a0 In other words, we puff our resume better than it really is.\u00a0 We tend to think more highly of ourselves than we ought.\u00a0 To really come to terms with the fact that, \u201cNo, we\u2019re not as good as we think we are.\u00a0 God is holier than we\u2019ve imagined him to be.\u201d\u00a0 Now, our need for forgiveness becomes more acute because we recognize that our sin is more desperate than we thought it was.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to get to that point if we\u2019re going to understand God\u2019s reconciling love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I think the more we can understand our own need for forgiveness, the easier forgiveness, then, becomes.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean that it\u2019s easy.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean that the pain will go away or that the other person will respond favorably; but the more we can understand the grace of God in our lives and our own need for forgiveness, it does make the whole process of forgiving another person more reasonable, more logical, and more obvious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When I was a little boy, forgiveness for me, was that I would make a commitment to Jesus Christ and that God would no longer punish me by sending me to a place called \u201chell.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting in our culture today\u2014we don\u2019t talk a lot about that place, but it is a real place.\u00a0 It does exist, where the wrath of God is poured out against sinners, lawbreakers\u2014of which, I was one.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere\u2019s the point:\u00a0 Over my lifetime, I now have come to a much more full understanding of what it cost God to forgive me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve also come to grips with how far I miss the mark.\u00a0 The older I get, the more aware I am that, as you were talking about, Bob, I\u2019m not really as good as I\u2019d like to think I am.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, the older I get, the more I go, \u201cGod really did love me.\u00a0 He really did pursue me.\u201d\u00a0 This is why this message is so important.\u00a0 As we do grow in our understanding of forgiveness, we embrace the love of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 That transforms us and motivates us to want to be right in our relationships and forgive other people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You retell the Old Testament story of Joseph and his brothers, which is found in the last half of Genesis, in your book.\u00a0 I just wonder, as you were retelling that story, if you ever thought to yourself, \u201cI wonder what I would have done if I had been in Joseph\u2019s situation?\u201d\u00a0 I could kind of see myself going, \u201cI\u2019m going to get some satisfaction here.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you think about who Joseph was in Egypt.\u00a0 He was second in command to Pharaoh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He had the authority to throw his brothers under the bus. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 He had <em>all <\/em>kinds of power.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Under the caravan.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Under the caravan.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 He had a lot of power, and <em>nobody<\/em> would have thought twice if he had executed them.\u00a0 In that culture\u2014it wasn\u2019t a God-fearing culture, the land of Egypt\u2014he could have easily had their heads if he had wanted to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But if he had done that, thinking that there would be some satisfaction at the end of the day, he would have found that his soul was not satisfied with that vengeance that he went after.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s one of the things that, hopefully, people will get as they read through your book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The idea that we\u2019re somehow going to find satisfaction in punishing somebody else is a false hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Barbara:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is a false hope.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s why I wanted to write these stories for families to read together because I think it helps us so much as moms and dads.\u00a0 We\u2019re always teaching and instructing our kids.\u00a0 We are telling them how to forgive, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to forgive your sister;\u201d\u00a0 \u201cGo ask your sister to forgive you;\u201d whatever.\u00a0 We\u2019re constantly instructing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when we can sit down with them and we can read a story about Joseph, or we can read a story about John Newton, then, all of a sudden, your kids have a mental image of someone else who did it.\u00a0 It\u2019s not just, \u201cMom and Dad telling me that I have to do this,\u201d but, \u201cI have a mental image of this person or of that person who did it.\u201d\u00a0 Then they have a better concept of what it might look like in different situations.\u00a0 In essence, what this is\u2014is reading these stories\u2014is giving your children role models.\u00a0 It\u2019s giving them someone to follow, besides your example or your instruction.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Real stories about real people.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got a real application for our listeners today.\u00a0 Number one, have you experienced the love of God and the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ?\u00a0 Just because you go to church\u2014just because you\u2019ve always gone there\u2014doesn\u2019t make you a follower of Christ\u2014someone who is committed to Christ, someone who has received the forgiveness of Jesus Christ and being declared, \u201cNot guilty.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s really simple how to do it.\u00a0 You just cry out in prayer and say, \u201cLord Jesus, be merciful to me, a sinner.\u00a0 Forgive me.\u00a0 Come and reside in me and begin to make me the kind of person you created me to be.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cBehold, I stand at the door and knock.\u00a0 If anyone hears my voice and asks Me to come in,\u201d He said, \u201cI will come in.\u00a0 I\u2019ll sup with him.\u00a0 I\u2019ll fellowship with him.\u201d\u00a0 God, in Christ, wants to forgive us; and then, He wants to relate to us on an ongoing basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second application is really for our listeners, who are listening, who there is someone who you need to forgive.\u00a0 As we\u2019ve talked about it, you\u2019ve thought about the name of a person who, at the very mention of him or her, causes your stomach to turn.\u00a0 There is something occurring there that you need to make things right.\u00a0 What is your application point?\u00a0 How do you give up the right to punish that other person?\u00a0 My challenge to you is, \u201cDon\u2019t let the sun go down on your anger.\u201d\u00a0 Deal with your resentment, your anger, and your bitterness toward that person and <em>forgive <\/em>him; <em>forgive <\/em>her.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, third, I think there are a lot of parents listening who need to be much more intentional about training their children\u2014to understand, first of all, what forgiveness is\u2014giving up the right to punish; but, secondly, practicing forgiveness with one another\u2014both husband and wife in the family\u2014but also parent-to-child and child-to-child in the family.\u00a0 There are plenty of ways you\u2019ll be able to take what Barbara has done here and apply it in your family nearly every day (unfortunately).\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 These stories are going to give you a lot to talk about, as a family, as you read through them together.\u00a0 That\u2019s part of the design, not just for this devotional, but for all of the devotionals that Barbara has written.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, to find out more about how you can receive the new <em>Growing Together in Forgiveness <\/em>devotional.\u00a0 If you\u2019re interested in the previous titles, <em>Growing Together in Truth; in Courage; in Gratitude<\/em>, this is a great way to help impress character into the hearts and minds of our children and into our own hearts and minds, at the same time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on Barbara Rainey\u2019s devotionals, <em>Growing Together in Forgiveness; in Truth; in Courage; <\/em>and <em>in Gratitude.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>The website again is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us toll-free for more information about Barbara\u2019s books\u20141-800-FL-TODAY is the number\u20141-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are in the final week of the month of March.\u00a0 I think most of our listeners know that this month we have been hoping to rally listeners in every city where <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>is heard, hoping that one family,\u00a0 maybe two, in those cities would step up and become Legacy Partners\u2014monthly supporters of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve heard from a number of you.\u00a0 We just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who have called.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to rally folks this week.\u00a0 We\u2019d just like to ask you to consider, if you haven\u2019t called yet and signed on to become a monthly contributor to FamilyLife\u2014these are the folks who provide the financial stability that make this program possible\u2014help cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf your family can be one of those families, we want to send you a thank-you gift\u2014a\u00a0 welcome kit that includes a CD with a conversation Dennis and I had about the habits of effective marriages and families.\u00a0 We want to send you a couple of travel mugs that have the FamilyLife logo on them.\u00a0 We\u2019re also going to make available to you, throughout the year, resources for Legacy Partners, designed to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it\u2019s a part of our way of saying, \u201cThank you for the monthly support you provide as a Legacy Partner.\u201d\u00a0 Find out more about becoming a Legacy Partner.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the \u201cLegacy Partner\u201d link; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Say, \u201cI want to join the team and become a Legacy Partner.\u201d\u00a0 We just want to say, \u201cThanks, in advance, for even considering it;\u201d and, \u201cThanks for tuning in and listening to <em>FamilyLife Today.\u201d<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to hear some powerful stories about forgiveness.\u00a0 Barbara Rainey is going to be with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be with us again, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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