{"id":302484,"date":"2012-03-23T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-23T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/lasting-love-part-2\/"},"modified":"2012-03-23T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-23T15:00:00","slug":"lasting-love-part-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lasting-love-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Lasting Love, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you entered a covenant with someone?  If you&#8217;re married, you have.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-23.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.77M","filesize_raw":"23880427","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2807,2805,2808],"tags":[4732,4021,4207],"podcast_series":[7866],"cwp_profile":[3117],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302484","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-engagements-and-weddings","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-newlyweds","tag-covenant","tag-vows","tag-wedding","podcast_series-lasting-love","cwp_profile-alistair-begg","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302484\/lasting-love-part-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302484\/lasting-love-part-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"WMpVgrXaFZ\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lasting-love-part-2\/\">Lasting Love, Part 2<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lasting-love-part-2\/embed\/#?secret=WMpVgrXaFZ\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Lasting Love, Part 2&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"WMpVgrXaFZ\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-23.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-23.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember, not that long ago, when love supposedly meant never having to say you're sorry; and everyone was writing their own wedding vows?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Audio Clip]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Welcome.\u00a0 Welcome all!\u00a0 Thank you for joining in this celebration of the ecstasy of love, as we place these two dear people beside each other into a love team.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 2:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, that is so sweet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, as you know, Dave and Sue have written their own vows for this love team.\u00a0 In honor of this moment of universal harmony, they have selected spiritual mate names.\u00a0 Dave and Sue wish now and forever to call themselves Unicorn and Moonflower.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Was I Moonflower or Unicorn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, Moonflower\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014(Whispers) She can't remember\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014(Whispers) Moonflower\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014(Whispers) Which one is Moonflower?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sue!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ah, ah, yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 Will you now woo Unicorn with the chanting of your love wish?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0 (Clears throat) Yes.\u00a0 Oh, Unicorn, Unicorn, come to me.\u00a0 My love mate\u2014won't you be?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Wow! Like far out, man. Moonflower is chanting our love chant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0 Unicorn, Unicorn, I want you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Heavy, dude.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014happy and self-realized.\u00a0 Won't you now promise forever to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) What was that one part\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014share love\u2019s bloom in our life together?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Did she say forever?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0Forever, forever\u2014life together\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) I mean, she didn't actually mean, like, forever\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014forever joined in life for better\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) She means, like, loves forever\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014nevermore to roam.\u00a0 Unicorn, Unicorn, make our love into a home.\u00a0 (Baby cries)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Dude, a home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0Forget about those other flowers, even when I dry up and lose my Moon power.\u00a0 (Baby crying)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Unicorn?\u00a0 (Crowd noise and footsteps)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0 Unicorn!\u00a0 Don't run away!\u00a0 Unicorn, come back.\u00a0 You're showing your weakness by loving yourself in a\u2014Dave, we need you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Studio]\u00a0 And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the far out and groovy Friday edition.\u00a0 One thing that Mary Ann and I have both noticed\u2014we had an opportunity, a number of years ago, to spend some time in England, on a family vacation.\u00a0 We had a lovely time in England.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just seems, to me, that people who have an accent\u2014the sound intelligent, even if they\u2019re saying really squirrelly things.\u00a0 You know what I mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You really like my Ozark accent.\u00a0 Is that what you're saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, not that kind.\u00a0 I'm talking about a real accent.\u00a0 I'm talking about a Richard Burton British accent.\u00a0 I'm talking about an Irish brogue or a Scottish accent.\u00a0 You know what I'm talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, if you could interview any pastor who had a Scottish\u2014a warm, Scottish accent\u2014who would you interview?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sinclair Ferguson, my number one choice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No question about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But we couldn't get ahold of Sinclair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, we couldn\u2019t afford the air\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We couldn't get him in, but we could get Alistair Begg.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alistair, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's always fun.\u00a0 It\u2019s always a privilege.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I have to say something about Alistair's book.\u00a0 He's written a book called <em>Lasting Love<\/em>, and I kept waiting for a song from the '50s, '60s, '70s, in this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Something to just pop up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are a couple of songs in here\u2014words and lyrics from songs, but it doesn't have any of his great love of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, let me see the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of the great hymns of the '60s and '70s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, it's a Moody Press book; that's why.\u00a0 That explains a lot.\u00a0 The editor just got through with all of those.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Moody wouldn't pay for what it took to leave the Beatles' lyrics in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014for the royalties.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alistair is the pastor of Parkside Church, which is a suburban community near Cleveland, Ohio.\u00a0 He has been there since September of 1983.\u00a0 He has a radio program, where he is the daily speaker, called <em>Truth for Life<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em><em>.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>A lot of our listeners listen to Alistair on a regular basis.\u00a0 I have to say, \u201cI always enjoy sitting on the front row when Alistair preaches.\u00a0 It's like he never gives the same message twice.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And yet the core of it is always the same.\u00a0 That core is that the Gospel is central to every marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I mean, I hope so.\u00a0 I'm hoping that this is not some veiled insult.\u00a0 I think the honest answer is that I come away from every attempt that I have and think, \"I really must try harder.\u00a0 I want to do better next time.\"\u00a0 Of course, sometimes we change it and make it worse; but between our three services on a Sunday morning, I can't guarantee that the three things will come out just exactly in the same way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you and your wife Susan have been married since 1975.\u00a0 You have three adult children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYesterday, Alistair, we talked about the importance of the words of the vows and the covenant that we make when we call another person to the marriage relationship.\u00a0 Just so a listener who is only joining us for today might understand, why do you think the words that we promise are important?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, words are important; aren't they?\u00a0 I mean, words are devalued in our culture.\u00a0 People use words very casually.\u00a0 They'll say to one another, \"Well, that wasn't what I meant by that,\" or, \"You understand that, in a way that is different from myself.\"\u00a0 Of course, part of the task of the legal profession is to make sure that when they write down something in a contract that what is said is what is meant.\u00a0 Precision is important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, when you think about committing your life to another person, to another stumbling, bumbling person like yourself, the language is going to be very, very important, especially if it's going to be a continual reference point for us\u2014that we're coming back to it and saying, \"Well, don't you remember when we said such and such?\u00a0 We said \u2018better or worse.\u2019\u00a0 This is a little worse, but we already covered that in what we said,\u201d\u2014that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There's a phrase that some pastors will use when they begin the vow part of a wedding\u2014where they'll say, \"I solemnly charge you.\"\u00a0\u00a0 That may have been said when I got married.\u00a0 I don't know if it was or not, because even if it had been, I'm not sure I would have understood what the preacher was trying to say.\u00a0 What's that all about?\u2014that, \"solemnly charge you\" stuff?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, I think the phrase can mean something; but unless the context is marked by a genuine sense of solemnity, which actually emerges, not from the phraseology but from the conviction on the part of the couple and the person conducting the ceremony itself.\u00a0 I mean, probably, the antithesis of it is the standard little picture that you see from Las Vegas\u2014of people\u2014they can run in and come out in two or three minutes, and they're married, and the thing is cursory, and it's over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's the very opposite of that, but it has to do with convictions that are shared in a congregation about what is taking place here\u2014that these folks are entering into a whole new dimension of their lives\u2014that they've been living as singles.\u00a0 Because, for example, if the couple has already been cohabitating with one another, the minister can stand up and solemnify it all he likes; but there's nothing really solemn about what's taking place.\u00a0 It's really just putting the imprimatur of conventionality on something that has already predated the event.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe phraseology of solemnity, and of reverence, and of awe, and all those things is, I think, simply to remind this young couple that, although this is taking place in a very public forum\u2014and friends and family are there\u2014and that's very meaningful\u2014it's actually taking place in view of Almighty God.\u00a0 It is before God, ultimately, that they will stand to give an account of their response to His Son, and their willingness to fulfill their obligations within the framework of marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the phrases in our marriage covenant that has been used traditionally is the promise to love, honor, and cherish.\u00a0 Those words have enormous weight; and yet, in this culture, I'm afraid we've redefined almost all of those words to mean virtually nothing.\u00a0 The concept of love is now feeling\u2014it's not a commitment; it's not a promise, regardless of how we feel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and \u201cCherish is a word I use to describe all the feelings that I have hiding here for you inside.\u201d\u00a0 I had to do that\u2014because, Alistair, he quoted Nancy Sinatra earlier today.\u00a0 I had to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Saying what I've been saying about the traditional English vows\u2014I do want to clear up any misunderstanding.\u00a0 The reason that I'm arguing for them is because I think the language is very precise.\u00a0 Where, however, the language would be unclear or unhelpful, especially in a contemporary environment, then, obviously, it's legitimate for us to write vows in a way that are more expressive of what both the couple and the congregation understand by them.\u00a0 There is no value in using a word that somebody has got no concept of or that you need another half a dozen words to unpack it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But, on the other hand, it wouldn't be bad to resurrect some words that maybe aren't used much today, like the word \"cherish.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, see, I would hold out for that.\u00a0 I would say, rather than dumb it down and come up with three or four words that would be synonyms, I would leave \"cherish\" and send people home to their dictionaries and discover that it is a wonderful word.\u00a0 If we resurrect it through the marriage ceremony, so be it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm not so sure that there aren't a number of ladies who would be thrilled to have their husband walk with them through the autumn leaves this afternoon and say, \"You know, I was thinking today just how much I cherish you.\u00a0 I absolutely cherish you.\"\u00a0 You know, frankly, they may have to go home and just have a wonderful time with the <em>Oxford English Dictionary<\/em>, the two of them.\u00a0 It just has a ring to it; doesn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0And here's where I step up on my soapbox from time to time because, oftentimes, when we refer couples back to their vows, most people think, \"Well, I'm keeping my vows.\u00a0 I'm being faithful.\u00a0 I'm still married.\u00a0 I haven't broken my vow.\"\u00a0\u00a0 Yet, if you have not loved, honored, and cherished the person that you pledged to do that to, you have broken your vow; haven't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, absolutely.\u00a0 The idea of honor\u2014I mean, there is another lost concept.\u00a0 I mean, you need to go to the military academy, or the naval academy, or something to find out, \u201cWhat do we mean here by honor?\u00a0 Where is honor?\u00a0 Where is honor in the shuttle at the airport for people who were born a little earlier?\u00a0 Where is anybody ever standing up for a lady?\u00a0 Where are the basic elemental bits and pieces of common courtesy?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo import honor, out of the blue, into the marriage ceremony\u2014you've got people sitting there saying, \"Well, I sure look forward to finding out what that is because I don't have a clue.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me toss out another phrase that is used in our wedding ceremony, \"forsaking all others, keeping yourself only unto him,\" or, \u201cunto her.\u201d\u00a0 Now, what does that mean today, to forsake all others?\u00a0 It\u2019s more than what Bob was talking about, than just, as he was saying, not just having an affair with the opposite sex.\u00a0 Forsaking all others is broader than that; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Again, you see, \u201cGive me a synonym phrase for forsaking all others.\u201d\u00a0 Even the verb, \u201cto forsake\u201d, is a great verb.\u00a0 I sound like I\u2019m a representative of the 17<sup>th<\/sup> century\u2014\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>Oxford Dictionary.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have copies of the <em>Oxford Dictionary<\/em> in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, Alistair Begg authored the <em>Oxford Dictionary<\/em>.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, dear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m in agreement with you because I believe one of the reasons why we have lost our civility is language has become meaningless.\u00a0 We really have become so casual about so many things, that there\u2019s no edge.\u00a0 Most of the edgy words are trash words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, they\u2019re rude words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The edgy words that are meant for good have been redefined or dumbed down so there are no edgy words like \u201chonor\u201d, and \u201ccherish\u201d, and the concept of \u201cforsaking all others\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think, \"forsaking all others,\" when we take it in light of what Jesus is saying in the Sermon on the Mount\u2014it demands of us, as men or as girls, an absolutely rigorous commitment to mental purity.\u00a0 I think it means refusing to allow my eyes to wander, my mind to settle on, my heart to conceive of, anyone or anything that will draw me away from my wife.\u00a0 That's what it means to, \"forsake all others\". \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn't mean that I have fulfilled it, as Bob is suggesting, simply by coming home to the same house every night because\u2014if in my journey through the airport, I am involved in viewing women or viewing printed materials in a way that violates that soul-deep, psyche-centered commitment to moral purity\u2014then, although I have arrived in the bedroom as I should\u2014the journey to the bedroom has been involved\u2014I have been in a whole ton of places that I should never, ever have gone.\u00a0 I've been breaking my vows.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is one last phrase, \"for as long as we both shall live.\"\u00a0 The concept of a promise 'til death really does set the marriage relationship apart from all other relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, it does; and it should. I mean, it really should.\u00a0 That's where, again, the notion of solemnity\u2014I mean, the Baby-boomer generation does not want to think about death.\u00a0 You can pretty well guarantee that if they write their vows, there will be nothing in there about dying because that confronts them with issues for which they have no answer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat may actually be the reason they want to leave \"death\" out as much as any other thing.\u00a0 That's the reason I want to put it back in\u2014to remind them that, \u201cYou are finite,\u201d that, \u201cLife is transient,\u201d that, \u201cWe have a short journey here.\u201d\u00a0 The call of God upon you, in taking this woman to be your wife, is to assure her, as you look her in the eyes right now, that, \u201cNo matter come what may,\u201d you commit yourself, God being your helper, to love her right through to the end.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe doesn't have to go off in her car, wondering if you've got a slip road out by means of divorce or if you've got a mechanism whereby you can do a left-hand turn and leave her behind.\u00a0 She knows that, \u201cEven though we may have difficult days, even though we may have disappointments, and we have struggles, and there may be tension within our home, the one thing we can do, when we put our heads on the pillow at night, is know that we are together in this; and we are committed in this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you ever had a couple come to you, and ask you to marry them, and they've wanted to sign a prenuptial agreement?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I have not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If they said, \"Here is our circumstance.\u00a0 It's kind of unique.\u00a0 We'd like to do this because the relatives are worried about the inheritance issue.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know what I believe exactly about, \"We two are one,\" and, \"All this is ours,\" and everything else; but beyond that, I mean, like, a young couple\u2014oh, I wouldn't even marry them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alistair, I'm probably going to shock you when I tell you that I believe, from now on, every couple that you marry ought to have a prenuptial agreement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They ought to sign a prenuptial agreement\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that spells out what they will do if and when they have difficulty in their marriage\u2014how they will resolve their differences and how they will be reconciled by the local church that's marrying them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is something we've been\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that's not a bad idea.\u00a0 I like that.\u00a0 That's a whole different twist on a prenuptial agreement.\u00a0 You\u2019re really quite naughty\u2014both of you, setting me up, watching me squirm\u2014and all the time knowing that you have this little zinger to bring in behind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, so we're naughty.\u00a0 That's established.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I've never been called naughty before; but I resonate with something you wrote about in your book, <em>Lasting Love<\/em>.\u00a0 You said, \"We should be seeing far less divorce and far more reconciliation than we do within our Christian family.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe church is the institution that is witnessing their vows as a married couple gets married.\u00a0 I believe it, too, needs to be a body of believers that calls them regularly to keep those vows.\u00a0 If they get into difficulty, that same church that married them ought to be a part of the reconciling, healing work of what takes place to bring that couple back together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 I couldn't agree more.\u00a0 That little book here\u2014I mean, who needs a book by Begg on this subject?\u00a0 I did not set out to write a book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI entered into a commitment with a golfing buddy in Scotland, years ago on a golf course, that if either one of us ever stepped out of line\u2014and it became apparent that we would go however far it was, and we would catch the other person, and we would beat them back into subjection to the truth with a three wood\u2014as it turned out.\u00a0 We agreed, together, that a three wood would be painful enough and large enough to affect the thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happened was that same chap went south on his marriage.\u00a0 The day that I found out, I sent him an e-mail.\u00a0 It said, \"Dear 'X', You know what we said we would do if this ever happened.\u00a0 Call me.\"\u00a0 He wouldn't call me.\u00a0 I communicated with him, and I began to pursue him.\u00a0 I took frequent flyer miles, I got on a plane, and I went to Scotland.\u00a0 I got him, and I took him back out on the golf course to the very same spot on the tee where we'd made the commitment.\u00a0 We got right down at the business, right in the very place, and when\u2014today, he is restored to his wife and his children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I got on the plane in London, a few days after that, I then took an A-4 pad.\u00a0 I wrote notes to myself, \"Dear Alistair, This could have been you.\u00a0 Here is what to do to make sure that it doesn't end up being you.\"\u00a0 I wrote these notes to myself.\u00a0 Well, then the folks at Moody were bugging me.\u00a0 They said, \"What do you have?\"\u00a0 I said, \"I have nothing.\u00a0 I have some notes on a pad\u2014\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cand I've got a three wood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and a three wood.\u00a0 They said, \"Well, you're no good with a three wood.\"\u00a0 What I'm saying is that when I then called to this fellow's church family\u2014the exact same story\u2014there was nobody prepared to intervene and get the business.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt our last communion service\u2014and this is a tragic statement\u2014but at our last communion service, in my absence, there were five couples, related to our church\u2014who were read out to the congregation in the third stage of church discipline to ask the church to pray for them, to pursue them, and to go for them and seek to see them restored and won back to each other, and to the resolve to follow Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the church won't go and do it, I agree with you entirely, Dennis\u2014then the only place that folks are able to go is off into no-man's land.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, it occurs to me, as you were talking, Alistair, we began this conversation talking about the solemn nature of the wedding vows and how if the church doesn't back it up with a process called church discipline\u2014that doesn't sound pretty; but, you know, the purpose of church discipline is not to bring hurt to an individual or to a couple\u2014it's to bring reconciliation and healing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there's a gross misunderstanding that the process that's spoken of in Matthew, Chapter 18, which does nothing more, when it comes to the marriage relationship, of enforcing the covenant that two people promised, spiritually-speaking, when they forged their marriage in the first place.\u00a0 It is the place where it needs to occur.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we ought to send a bunch of divorce attorneys out of business.\u00a0 The church, if it regained its rightful place here, could do it.\u00a0 I mean, it really is an opportunity, I think, to preach the Gospel to some people who don't know Christ, who are in the middle of a failing marriage.\u00a0 Because they don't know Him, they don't know how to make it work.\u00a0 They don't know how to defeat self, they don't know how to deny self, they don't know how to pick up their cross and follow Christ every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday's demise of marriage and family relationships represents an enormous opportunity for the Christian community.\u00a0 Personally, I'm glad Moody nailed your hide to the wall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Made you grab that A-4 legal pad and wouldn\u2019t let you out of a room until you came back with a book.\u00a0 We\u2019re glad we\u2019ve got the book.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Lasting Love.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 If our listeners would like to get a copy, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if our listeners have never been to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaways, now is the time to do that.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how you can attend a weekend away together, where you can soak in what the Scriptures have to say about building a stronger marriage relationship.\u00a0 It really is a great weekend getaway.\u00a0 It is fun, it\u2019s romantic, and we\u2019d love to see you at one of these events.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on Alistair Begg\u2019s book, <em>Lasting Love, <\/em>and for information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to make sure we say a word of thanks to the folks who help make today\u2019s program possible, those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with gifts from time to time, or those of you who are regular contributors to our ministry as Legacy Partners.\u00a0 This month, we\u2019re hoping to add 1,500 new Legacy Partners to that growing family of friends.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve heard from some of you already this month who have said, \u201cWe\u2019ll do that.\u00a0 We want to make sure <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>continues on the air on this station and on this network of stations all across the country.\u201d\u00a0 We appreciate that support.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to join us as a Legacy Partner, one of the things we\u2019re going to do is provide you with resources each month to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the ways we say, \u201cThank you,\u201d for the financial support you provide for us each month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more or sign up to become a Legacy Partner at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; that\u2019s 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to our friend, Alistair Begg, for joining us on the program today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's fun to have a Cleveland guy who's got a funny accent.\u00a0 You didn't get that accent from South Cleveland.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Coming from you, Dennis, talking about accents\u2014that is really pretty good.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alistair, thanks for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to thank you for the privilege, and I'm glad of our partnership in the Gospel and in the cause of the family.\u00a0 It's a privilege to be with you.\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.77M"],"filesize_raw":["23880427"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302484.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302484.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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you entered a covenant with someone? If you're married, you have.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-23.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you remember, not that long ago, when love supposedly meant never having to say you're sorry; and everyone was writing their own wedding vows?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t[Audio Clip]\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Welcome.\u00a0 Welcome all!\u00a0 Thank you for joining in this celebration of the ecstasy of love, as we place these two dear people beside each other into a love team.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 2:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, that is so sweet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, as you know, Dave and Sue have written their own vows for this love team.\u00a0 In honor of this moment of universal harmony, they have selected spiritual mate names.\u00a0 Dave and Sue wish now and forever to call themselves Unicorn and Moonflower.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Was I Moonflower or Unicorn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, Moonflower\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014(Whispers) She can't remember\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014(Whispers) Moonflower\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014(Whispers) Which one is Moonflower?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sue!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0 Ah, ah, yes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0 Will you now woo Unicorn with the chanting of your love wish?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0 (Clears throat) Yes.\u00a0 Oh, Unicorn, Unicorn, come to me.\u00a0 My love mate\u2014won't you be?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Wow! Like far out, man. Moonflower is chanting our love chant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0 Unicorn, Unicorn, I want you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Heavy, dude.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014happy and self-realized.\u00a0 Won't you now promise forever to\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) What was that one part\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014share love\u2019s bloom in our life together?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Did she say forever?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0Forever, forever\u2014life together\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) I mean, she didn't actually mean, like, forever\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014forever joined in life for better\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) She means, like, loves forever\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0\u2014nevermore to roam.\u00a0 Unicorn, Unicorn, make our love into a home.\u00a0 (Baby cries)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dave:<\/strong>\u00a0(Thinking to himself) Dude, a home?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0Forget about those other flowers, even when I dry up and lose my Moon power.\u00a0 (Baby crying)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Woman 1:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 Unicorn?\u00a0 (Crowd noise and footsteps)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Sue:<\/strong>\u00a0 Unicorn!\u00a0 Don't run away!\u00a0 Unicorn, come back.\u00a0 You're showing your weakness by loving yourself in a\u2014Dave, we need you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 [Studio]\u00a0 And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the far out and groovy Friday edition.\u00a0 One thing that Mary Ann and I have both noticed\u2014we had an opportunity, a number of years ago, to spend some time in England, on a family vacation.\u00a0 We had a lovely time in England.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt just seems, to me, that people who have an accent\u2014the sound intelligent, even if they\u2019re saying really squirrelly things.\u00a0 You know what I mean?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You really like my Ozark accent.\u00a0 Is that what you're saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, not that kind.\u00a0 I'm talking about a real accent.\u00a0 I'm talking about a Richard Burton British accent.\u00a0 I'm talking about an Irish brogue or a Scottish accent.\u00a0 You know what I'm talking about?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, if you could interview any pastor who had a Scottish\u2014a warm, Scottish accent\u2014who would you interview?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sinclair Ferguson, my number one choice.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No question about it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But we couldn't get ahold of Sinclair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, we couldn\u2019t afford the air\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We couldn't get him in, but we could get Alistair Begg.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alistair, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's always fun.\u00a0 It\u2019s always a privilege.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I have to say something about Alistair's book.\u00a0 He's written a book called <em>Lasting Love<\/em>, and I kept waiting for a song from the '50s, '60s, '70s, in this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Something to just pop up?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are a couple of songs in here\u2014words and lyrics from songs, but it doesn't have any of his great love of\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, let me see the book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014of the great hymns of the '60s and '70s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, it's a Moody Press book; that's why.\u00a0 That explains a lot.\u00a0 The editor just got through with all of those.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Moody wouldn't pay for what it took to leave the Beatles' lyrics in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014for the royalties.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alistair is the pastor of Parkside Church, which is a suburban community near Cleveland, Ohio.\u00a0 He has been there since September of 1983.\u00a0 He has a radio program, where he is the daily speaker, called <em>Truth for Life<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em><em>.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>A lot of our listeners listen to Alistair on a regular basis.\u00a0 I have to say, \u201cI always enjoy sitting on the front row when Alistair preaches.\u00a0 It's like he never gives the same message twice.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And yet the core of it is always the same.\u00a0 That core is that the Gospel is central to every marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I mean, I hope so.\u00a0 I'm hoping that this is not some veiled insult.\u00a0 I think the honest answer is that I come away from every attempt that I have and think, \"I really must try harder.\u00a0 I want to do better next time.\"\u00a0 Of course, sometimes we change it and make it worse; but between our three services on a Sunday morning, I can't guarantee that the three things will come out just exactly in the same way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you and your wife Susan have been married since 1975.\u00a0 You have three adult children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYesterday, Alistair, we talked about the importance of the words of the vows and the covenant that we make when we call another person to the marriage relationship.\u00a0 Just so a listener who is only joining us for today might understand, why do you think the words that we promise are important?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, words are important; aren't they?\u00a0 I mean, words are devalued in our culture.\u00a0 People use words very casually.\u00a0 They'll say to one another, \"Well, that wasn't what I meant by that,\" or, \"You understand that, in a way that is different from myself.\"\u00a0 Of course, part of the task of the legal profession is to make sure that when they write down something in a contract that what is said is what is meant.\u00a0 Precision is important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, when you think about committing your life to another person, to another stumbling, bumbling person like yourself, the language is going to be very, very important, especially if it's going to be a continual reference point for us\u2014that we're coming back to it and saying, \"Well, don't you remember when we said such and such?\u00a0 We said \u2018better or worse.\u2019\u00a0 This is a little worse, but we already covered that in what we said,\u201d\u2014that kind of thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There's a phrase that some pastors will use when they begin the vow part of a wedding\u2014where they'll say, \"I solemnly charge you.\"\u00a0\u00a0 That may have been said when I got married.\u00a0 I don't know if it was or not, because even if it had been, I'm not sure I would have understood what the preacher was trying to say.\u00a0 What's that all about?\u2014that, \"solemnly charge you\" stuff?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, I think the phrase can mean something; but unless the context is marked by a genuine sense of solemnity, which actually emerges, not from the phraseology but from the conviction on the part of the couple and the person conducting the ceremony itself.\u00a0 I mean, probably, the antithesis of it is the standard little picture that you see from Las Vegas\u2014of people\u2014they can run in and come out in two or three minutes, and they're married, and the thing is cursory, and it's over.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's the very opposite of that, but it has to do with convictions that are shared in a congregation about what is taking place here\u2014that these folks are entering into a whole new dimension of their lives\u2014that they've been living as singles.\u00a0 Because, for example, if the couple has already been cohabitating with one another, the minister can stand up and solemnify it all he likes; but there's nothing really solemn about what's taking place.\u00a0 It's really just putting the imprimatur of conventionality on something that has already predated the event.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe phraseology of solemnity, and of reverence, and of awe, and all those things is, I think, simply to remind this young couple that, although this is taking place in a very public forum\u2014and friends and family are there\u2014and that's very meaningful\u2014it's actually taking place in view of Almighty God.\u00a0 It is before God, ultimately, that they will stand to give an account of their response to His Son, and their willingness to fulfill their obligations within the framework of marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the phrases in our marriage covenant that has been used traditionally is the promise to love, honor, and cherish.\u00a0 Those words have enormous weight; and yet, in this culture, I'm afraid we've redefined almost all of those words to mean virtually nothing.\u00a0 The concept of love is now feeling\u2014it's not a commitment; it's not a promise, regardless of how we feel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and \u201cCherish is a word I use to describe all the feelings that I have hiding here for you inside.\u201d\u00a0 I had to do that\u2014because, Alistair, he quoted Nancy Sinatra earlier today.\u00a0 I had to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Saying what I've been saying about the traditional English vows\u2014I do want to clear up any misunderstanding.\u00a0 The reason that I'm arguing for them is because I think the language is very precise.\u00a0 Where, however, the language would be unclear or unhelpful, especially in a contemporary environment, then, obviously, it's legitimate for us to write vows in a way that are more expressive of what both the couple and the congregation understand by them.\u00a0 There is no value in using a word that somebody has got no concept of or that you need another half a dozen words to unpack it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 But, on the other hand, it wouldn't be bad to resurrect some words that maybe aren't used much today, like the word \"cherish.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, see, I would hold out for that.\u00a0 I would say, rather than dumb it down and come up with three or four words that would be synonyms, I would leave \"cherish\" and send people home to their dictionaries and discover that it is a wonderful word.\u00a0 If we resurrect it through the marriage ceremony, so be it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'm not so sure that there aren't a number of ladies who would be thrilled to have their husband walk with them through the autumn leaves this afternoon and say, \"You know, I was thinking today just how much I cherish you.\u00a0 I absolutely cherish you.\"\u00a0 You know, frankly, they may have to go home and just have a wonderful time with the <em>Oxford English Dictionary<\/em>, the two of them.\u00a0 It just has a ring to it; doesn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0And here's where I step up on my soapbox from time to time because, oftentimes, when we refer couples back to their vows, most people think, \"Well, I'm keeping my vows.\u00a0 I'm being faithful.\u00a0 I'm still married.\u00a0 I haven't broken my vow.\"\u00a0\u00a0 Yet, if you have not loved, honored, and cherished the person that you pledged to do that to, you have broken your vow; haven't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, absolutely.\u00a0 The idea of honor\u2014I mean, there is another lost concept.\u00a0 I mean, you need to go to the military academy, or the naval academy, or something to find out, \u201cWhat do we mean here by honor?\u00a0 Where is honor?\u00a0 Where is honor in the shuttle at the airport for people who were born a little earlier?\u00a0 Where is anybody ever standing up for a lady?\u00a0 Where are the basic elemental bits and pieces of common courtesy?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo import honor, out of the blue, into the marriage ceremony\u2014you've got people sitting there saying, \"Well, I sure look forward to finding out what that is because I don't have a clue.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me toss out another phrase that is used in our wedding ceremony, \"forsaking all others, keeping yourself only unto him,\" or, \u201cunto her.\u201d\u00a0 Now, what does that mean today, to forsake all others?\u00a0 It\u2019s more than what Bob was talking about, than just, as he was saying, not just having an affair with the opposite sex.\u00a0 Forsaking all others is broader than that; isn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Again, you see, \u201cGive me a synonym phrase for forsaking all others.\u201d\u00a0 Even the verb, \u201cto forsake\u201d, is a great verb.\u00a0 I sound like I\u2019m a representative of the 17<sup>th<\/sup> century\u2014\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>Oxford Dictionary.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have copies of the <em>Oxford Dictionary<\/em> in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, Alistair Begg authored the <em>Oxford Dictionary<\/em>.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, dear.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m in agreement with you because I believe one of the reasons why we have lost our civility is language has become meaningless.\u00a0 We really have become so casual about so many things, that there\u2019s no edge.\u00a0 Most of the edgy words are trash words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, they\u2019re rude words.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The edgy words that are meant for good have been redefined or dumbed down so there are no edgy words like \u201chonor\u201d, and \u201ccherish\u201d, and the concept of \u201cforsaking all others\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think, \"forsaking all others,\" when we take it in light of what Jesus is saying in the Sermon on the Mount\u2014it demands of us, as men or as girls, an absolutely rigorous commitment to mental purity.\u00a0 I think it means refusing to allow my eyes to wander, my mind to settle on, my heart to conceive of, anyone or anything that will draw me away from my wife.\u00a0 That's what it means to, \"forsake all others\". \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt doesn't mean that I have fulfilled it, as Bob is suggesting, simply by coming home to the same house every night because\u2014if in my journey through the airport, I am involved in viewing women or viewing printed materials in a way that violates that soul-deep, psyche-centered commitment to moral purity\u2014then, although I have arrived in the bedroom as I should\u2014the journey to the bedroom has been involved\u2014I have been in a whole ton of places that I should never, ever have gone.\u00a0 I've been breaking my vows.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is one last phrase, \"for as long as we both shall live.\"\u00a0 The concept of a promise 'til death really does set the marriage relationship apart from all other relationships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, it does; and it should. I mean, it really should.\u00a0 That's where, again, the notion of solemnity\u2014I mean, the Baby-boomer generation does not want to think about death.\u00a0 You can pretty well guarantee that if they write their vows, there will be nothing in there about dying because that confronts them with issues for which they have no answer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat may actually be the reason they want to leave \"death\" out as much as any other thing.\u00a0 That's the reason I want to put it back in\u2014to remind them that, \u201cYou are finite,\u201d that, \u201cLife is transient,\u201d that, \u201cWe have a short journey here.\u201d\u00a0 The call of God upon you, in taking this woman to be your wife, is to assure her, as you look her in the eyes right now, that, \u201cNo matter come what may,\u201d you commit yourself, God being your helper, to love her right through to the end.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe doesn't have to go off in her car, wondering if you've got a slip road out by means of divorce or if you've got a mechanism whereby you can do a left-hand turn and leave her behind.\u00a0 She knows that, \u201cEven though we may have difficult days, even though we may have disappointments, and we have struggles, and there may be tension within our home, the one thing we can do, when we put our heads on the pillow at night, is know that we are together in this; and we are committed in this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you ever had a couple come to you, and ask you to marry them, and they've wanted to sign a prenuptial agreement?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I have not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If they said, \"Here is our circumstance.\u00a0 It's kind of unique.\u00a0 We'd like to do this because the relatives are worried about the inheritance issue.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know what I believe exactly about, \"We two are one,\" and, \"All this is ours,\" and everything else; but beyond that, I mean, like, a young couple\u2014oh, I wouldn't even marry them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alistair, I'm probably going to shock you when I tell you that I believe, from now on, every couple that you marry ought to have a prenuptial agreement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Really?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They ought to sign a prenuptial agreement\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014saying\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that spells out what they will do if and when they have difficulty in their marriage\u2014how they will resolve their differences and how they will be reconciled by the local church that's marrying them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is something we've been\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014that's not a bad idea.\u00a0 I like that.\u00a0 That's a whole different twist on a prenuptial agreement.\u00a0 You\u2019re really quite naughty\u2014both of you, setting me up, watching me squirm\u2014and all the time knowing that you have this little zinger to bring in behind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, so we're naughty.\u00a0 That's established.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I've never been called naughty before; but I resonate with something you wrote about in your book, <em>Lasting Love<\/em>.\u00a0 You said, \"We should be seeing far less divorce and far more reconciliation than we do within our Christian family.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe church is the institution that is witnessing their vows as a married couple gets married.\u00a0 I believe it, too, needs to be a body of believers that calls them regularly to keep those vows.\u00a0 If they get into difficulty, that same church that married them ought to be a part of the reconciling, healing work of what takes place to bring that couple back together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 I couldn't agree more.\u00a0 That little book here\u2014I mean, who needs a book by Begg on this subject?\u00a0 I did not set out to write a book.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI entered into a commitment with a golfing buddy in Scotland, years ago on a golf course, that if either one of us ever stepped out of line\u2014and it became apparent that we would go however far it was, and we would catch the other person, and we would beat them back into subjection to the truth with a three wood\u2014as it turned out.\u00a0 We agreed, together, that a three wood would be painful enough and large enough to affect the thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happened was that same chap went south on his marriage.\u00a0 The day that I found out, I sent him an e-mail.\u00a0 It said, \"Dear 'X', You know what we said we would do if this ever happened.\u00a0 Call me.\"\u00a0 He wouldn't call me.\u00a0 I communicated with him, and I began to pursue him.\u00a0 I took frequent flyer miles, I got on a plane, and I went to Scotland.\u00a0 I got him, and I took him back out on the golf course to the very same spot on the tee where we'd made the commitment.\u00a0 We got right down at the business, right in the very place, and when\u2014today, he is restored to his wife and his children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I got on the plane in London, a few days after that, I then took an A-4 pad.\u00a0 I wrote notes to myself, \"Dear Alistair, This could have been you.\u00a0 Here is what to do to make sure that it doesn't end up being you.\"\u00a0 I wrote these notes to myself.\u00a0 Well, then the folks at Moody were bugging me.\u00a0 They said, \"What do you have?\"\u00a0 I said, \"I have nothing.\u00a0 I have some notes on a pad\u2014\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cand I've got a three wood.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and a three wood.\u00a0 They said, \"Well, you're no good with a three wood.\"\u00a0 What I'm saying is that when I then called to this fellow's church family\u2014the exact same story\u2014there was nobody prepared to intervene and get the business.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt our last communion service\u2014and this is a tragic statement\u2014but at our last communion service, in my absence, there were five couples, related to our church\u2014who were read out to the congregation in the third stage of church discipline to ask the church to pray for them, to pursue them, and to go for them and seek to see them restored and won back to each other, and to the resolve to follow Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the church won't go and do it, I agree with you entirely, Dennis\u2014then the only place that folks are able to go is off into no-man's land.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, it occurs to me, as you were talking, Alistair, we began this conversation talking about the solemn nature of the wedding vows and how if the church doesn't back it up with a process called church discipline\u2014that doesn't sound pretty; but, you know, the purpose of church discipline is not to bring hurt to an individual or to a couple\u2014it's to bring reconciliation and healing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think there's a gross misunderstanding that the process that's spoken of in Matthew, Chapter 18, which does nothing more, when it comes to the marriage relationship, of enforcing the covenant that two people promised, spiritually-speaking, when they forged their marriage in the first place.\u00a0 It is the place where it needs to occur.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we ought to send a bunch of divorce attorneys out of business.\u00a0 The church, if it regained its rightful place here, could do it.\u00a0 I mean, it really is an opportunity, I think, to preach the Gospel to some people who don't know Christ, who are in the middle of a failing marriage.\u00a0 Because they don't know Him, they don't know how to make it work.\u00a0 They don't know how to defeat self, they don't know how to deny self, they don't know how to pick up their cross and follow Christ every day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday's demise of marriage and family relationships represents an enormous opportunity for the Christian community.\u00a0 Personally, I'm glad Moody nailed your hide to the wall.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Made you grab that A-4 legal pad and wouldn\u2019t let you out of a room until you came back with a book.\u00a0 We\u2019re glad we\u2019ve got the book.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Lasting Love.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We\u2019ve got it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 If our listeners would like to get a copy, they can go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd if our listeners have never been to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaways, now is the time to do that.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how you can attend a weekend away together, where you can soak in what the Scriptures have to say about building a stronger marriage relationship.\u00a0 It really is a great weekend getaway.\u00a0 It is fun, it\u2019s romantic, and we\u2019d love to see you at one of these events.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on Alistair Begg\u2019s book, <em>Lasting Love, <\/em>and for information about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 Again, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to make sure we say a word of thanks to the folks who help make today\u2019s program possible, those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with gifts from time to time, or those of you who are regular contributors to our ministry as Legacy Partners.\u00a0 This month, we\u2019re hoping to add 1,500 new Legacy Partners to that growing family of friends.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve heard from some of you already this month who have said, \u201cWe\u2019ll do that.\u00a0 We want to make sure <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>continues on the air on this station and on this network of stations all across the country.\u201d\u00a0 We appreciate that support.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to join us as a Legacy Partner, one of the things we\u2019re going to do is provide you with resources each month to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the ways we say, \u201cThank you,\u201d for the financial support you provide for us each month.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFind out more or sign up to become a Legacy Partner at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY; that\u2019s 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to our friend, Alistair Begg, for joining us on the program today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's fun to have a Cleveland guy who's got a funny accent.\u00a0 You didn't get that accent from South Cleveland.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Coming from you, Dennis, talking about accents\u2014that is really pretty good.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alistair, thanks for being with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to thank you for the privilege, and I'm glad of our partnership in the Gospel and in the cause of the family.\u00a0 It's a privilege to be with you.\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302484","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302484"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302484"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302484"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302484"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302484"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302484"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302484"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}