{"id":302483,"date":"2012-03-22T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-22T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/lasting-love-part-1\/"},"modified":"2012-03-22T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-22T15:00:00","slug":"lasting-love-part-1","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lasting-love-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Lasting Love, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What were you really saying when you vowed to love &#8220;until death do us part?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-22.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.74M","filesize_raw":"23845785","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2807,2805,2808],"tags":[4732,4021,4207],"podcast_series":[7866],"cwp_profile":[3117],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302483","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-engagements-and-weddings","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","category-newlyweds","tag-covenant","tag-vows","tag-wedding","podcast_series-lasting-love","cwp_profile-alistair-begg","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302483\/lasting-love-part-1","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302483\/lasting-love-part-1","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"BdVZ8vIpI4\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lasting-love-part-1\/\">Lasting Love, Part 1<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/lasting-love-part-1\/embed\/#?secret=BdVZ8vIpI4\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Lasting Love, Part 1&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"BdVZ8vIpI4\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-22.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-22.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what happens in a marriage if the needle on your love meter is not moving very much?\u00a0 That's the time you need to walk over to the commitment meter and make sure it is at 100 percent.\u00a0 Here's Pastor Alistair Begg.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 If people go into marriage in that way, with all these expectations that have to do with flowers and roses and Hallmark<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> clich\u00e9s, then as soon as the thing runs up against something difficult\u2014without vows, without commitments, with a love that is now simply the victim of their emotions, rather than a servant of their wills\u2014then they've got nowhere to turn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 22<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We have a little twist on the old saying today.\u00a0 When the going gets tough in marriage, the tough stay put.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Bob, recently, I read \u201cDear Abby\u201d.\u00a0 Now, I have to tell you, I don't have my quiet time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You don't get up every morning and see what Abby\u2019s advice is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don't, but I happened to read \u201cDear Abby\u201d the other day.\u00a0 It was a letter from a pastor in Eustis, Florida.\u00a0 Now I don\u2019t have any idea where Eustis, Florida, is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 E-U-S-T-I-S.\u00a0 But I just want to read what this pastor said in terms of a woman who was in a loveless marriage and what she ought to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\"Dear Abby, Sick at Heart\"\u2014that's who had written Abby before, evidently\u2014wrote that, \u201cShe is trapped in a loveless marriage because, after being divorced, she made a religious commitment that she would never leave her second husband.\u00a0 She said that the love is long gone and that her doctor has not been able to successfully medicate her severe depression.\u00a0 You\"\u2014Abby, I guess\u2014\u201cadvised her to talk with her spiritual advisor.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWell,\" he writes, \"I am a spiritual advisor, and I would like to direct my comments to that woman.\"\u00a0 What follows are this spiritual advisor's, this pastor's advice, to that woman.\u00a0 \"I strongly feel, that in a marriage made by God, two people become one.\u00a0 From your description of your marriage, it is clear that it was never sanctioned by God.\u00a0 Therefore, you are released from any pledge that you have made.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He doesn't explain why it was not sanctioned by God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He doesn't, but he goes on to say this, \"The Bible tells us that God is present everywhere.\u00a0 This includes you.\u00a0 His spirit is within you.\u00a0 God is love and wants love to fill our lives.\u00a0 God does not want anyone to live in a situation such as you have described.\u00a0 There is no spiritual law that demands you stay in your loveless marriage.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe goes on to conclude his statements, \u201cLearn to forgive yourself for the mistake, as Jesus forgave the woman at the well who had five husbands and the one she was living with was not her husband.\u00a0 Listen to the Holy Spirit within you, and you will be free to go your way.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 And now, with an opposing opinion, here is Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, actually, we have a pastor who I happen to believe thinks differently from the pastor from Eustis, Florida, as well.\u00a0 His name is Alistair Begg, and I welcome him to the broadcast.\u00a0 Alistair?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thanks, Dennis.\u00a0 It's a privilege to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You're a pastor of a church, a large church, near Cleveland, Ohio.\u00a0 What do you think of Reverend\u2014well, how can I use the word \"reverend\u201d?\u00a0 Anyway, he is a pastor.\u00a0 What do you think of his advice to this woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I think it's tragic.\u00a0 What makes it most tragic, I think, is the fact that it's fairly representative of a mentality that takes the Bible and turns it on its head.\u00a0 The wonderfully liberating thing about biblical principles is that they establish the curbs for us in which to ride and run.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when we come to those difficult points on the journey, then we apply principle and we stay within the framework that God has given us.\u00a0 The idea that, \u201cEvery time you don't like it or every time it doesn't work, you simply redirect the road, or you reconstruct the curbs, or whatever else it is\u201d\u2014eventually, people just fall in upon themselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you've talked, as a pastor, to women or men in a prolonged marriage that they would describe as a loveless marriage.\u00a0 Do you tell them, \u201cJust keep a stiff upper lip and endure it, and God will bless you\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, no, I don\u2019t.\u00a0 I hope I don't just tell them that because that sounds like a chronicle of despair, really\u2014you know, \u201cGo away and have a nice\u201d\u2014\u201cGo and be warm and be fed.\u201d\u00a0 I think that what I would want to say is, \u201cI'd love to talk with you and with your husband because, clearly, there is a breakdown in communication.\u00a0 There are things here that shouldn't be taking place; but, also, I believe in a God who makes all things new\u2014a God who restores the years that the locusts have eaten.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I like to say to couples is, \u201cI'm not asking you to return to the mess that you're describing.\u00a0 I'm asking you to turn away from the mess that you're describing and to discover, in God, and in His Word, and by His Spirit, the opportunity to make a brand-new start,\u201d\u2014the kind of starts that we've been enjoying in some of our travels around the country together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have to give Abby some credit for at least acknowledging that the answer to this issue is ultimately a spiritual answer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She pointed the reader in the right direction, saying, \u201cYou ought to talk to a spiritual advisor.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, that's after the headlines read, \"Woman's Loveless Marriage Isn't a Part of God's Plan.\"\u00a0 Well, that's half-true.\u00a0 A loveless marriage isn't what God wants for any married couple; but He, like Alistair has said, wants couples to learn how to reconcile, how to replace what was false love or feelings with real love, real commitment, that goes the distance.\u00a0 That really is the theme of your book that you've written, <em>Lasting Love.<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you grew up in Scotland.\u00a0 You hold to a pretty conservative view of the vows today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, you believe that the vows that have endured centuries of bad marriages, bad preaching, and bad marriage ceremonies\u2014you believe that those vows really\u2014and the words of those vows\u2014really have important meaning for us today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\u00a0 I mean, part of it is probably cultural prejudice on my part, that I should confess and move away from in terms of always wanting to believe that material from the <em>Oxford English Dictionary<\/em> is better than <em>Webster's<\/em>.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe fact is that the phraseology of it has lasted so well for so long that\u2014to supplant it, to replace it, unless it's going to be improved\u2014is probably not a wise thing to do because the vows\u2014you know, the vows say what need to be said\u00a0 in comparison to\u2014I mean, I've heard some unbelievable vows.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, you spoke at one of our <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> events, and you were talking about a couple who came into your office.\u00a0 They wanted to kind of mix it up and freshen it up a bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 It was funny; it was embarrassing; and it was, ultimately, sad.\u00a0 The lady got very offended at me when I suggested that these weren't actually vows that she had contrived, but they were sort of sentimental notions.\u00a0 They were little feelings\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What were they wanting to promise each other? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, they weren't so much promising anything\u2014that was the point.\u00a0 They wanted to have a sort of love fest at the front of the church where they would say\u2014you know, like, \u201cJonathan, the first ever I saw your face\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014like Hallmark cards?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 Basically, they had taken a succession of Hallmark cards, and strung them all together, and said, \"These will do instead of vows,\"\u2014which, in actual fact, you see, almost plays into the piece with which you began, Dennis.\u00a0 Inasmuch as if people go into marriage in that way, with all these expectations that have to do with flowers, and roses, and Hallmark clich\u00e9s, then as soon as the thing runs up against something difficult\u2014without vows, without commitments\u2014with a love that is now simply the victim of their emotions rather than a servant of their wills\u2014then they've got nowhere to turn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0The traditional vows aren't from the pages of Holy Writ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, they're not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Did they come\u2014do you know their origin?\u00a0 Did they come out of the <em>Book of Common Prayer<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, well, the ones that I use are just sort of a jazzed-up version of the 17th century <em>Book of Common Prayer<\/em> from the Anglican Church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0So, pastors sat down and said, \"We understand a little bit about God's intention for marriage.\u00a0 We're going to solemnize a covenant ceremony with this exchange of vows.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That's right.\u00a0 That's why the vows, then, always need to be said against the unfolding pattern of marriage, as it's given to us in the Bible.\u00a0 To the extent that they concur with that, then they can stay.\u00a0 If they deviate from that, then they probably should be dispensed with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You deal with every phrase that is found in the vows that we state to one another, when we get married, in your book, <em>Lasting Love<\/em>.\u00a0 Let's take the first one.\u00a0 It's a question, \"Will you have this person to be your lawful, wedded wife (or husband)?\u201d\u00a0 Now, you believe that question is a very important question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think it is, especially in the climate of today.\u00a0 If you listen to rap language and find how they use the verb \"to have,\"\u2014<em>having<\/em> someone.\u00a0 \u201cI want to <em>have<\/em> you.\u201d\u00a0 You know, it's not framed within the context of propriety.\u00a0 I don't want to hear somebody singing that to either of my two girls\u2014let's put it that way.\u00a0 The fact is that that is all wrapped up in that question, \u201cWill you have this woman?\u201d because we're not talking about will you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014possess her.\u00a0 It's more of a call to responsibility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \u201cDo you take her to yourself?\u00a0 Does she take herself to you?\u201d\u00a0 It's a wonderful question because it allows you to unfold from it all of the elements\u2014physical, emotional, mental, psychological, spiritual\u2014that are wrapped up in that question.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause somebody would say, \u201cWhat do you mean <em>have<\/em> this woman?\u00a0 What does it mean to <em>have<\/em> this woman?\u201d\u00a0 Well, it doesn't just mean a physical thing.\u00a0 It involves the totality of our humanity\u2014\u201cthe bone of my bone, the flesh of my flesh\u201d\u2014this intermingling at a deep psychosomatic level; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You're talking about oneness in marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014oneness\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You're talking about becoming one with another person.\u00a0 That's what <em>having<\/em> is implying; isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That's exactly right.\u00a0 That's what makes it such a good question, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well\u2014and it's interesting, too\u2014because the next phrase says, \"Will you live together after God's ordinances in the holy estate of marriage?\"\u00a0 It's really pointing you in the direction for how to make the marriage work; isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Of course, it is.\u00a0 It is saying, \u201cYou're not out there, swinging in the breeze, hoping for the best, trying to clutch something out of the air; but God has a blueprint here.\u00a0 Since He's the Creator, since He invented the whole process, it seems to make perfect sense, actually, to pay attention to what He has.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, you get any kind of mechanism\u2014somebody just gave me a new cellular phone the other day.\u00a0 I spent a long, long time, in this tiny little book, trying to make sense of it\u2014and a very poor attempt at it, as well\u2014but I was, at least, in the right place.\u00a0 I just needed somebody to help me apply the material.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, in that sense\u2014this is one of the wonderful things that we are able to do by means of radio, within the context of local churches in the building of friendships, and so on\u2014is to be able to help people who go to the instructions\u2014don't really know how to find their way around them\u2014and we're able to come alongside them and say, \"Let me show you here.\u00a0 Let me help you unfold this.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The problem in many marriages, as we've said many times here on <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> is you have two people reading two different instruction books.\u00a0 They're not in the same instruction book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0And neither one of them is the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0One of them is reading Dr. Joyce, and the other one is reading Dr. Laura.\u00a0 They're disagreeing with each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And neither one points them back to the God who was the One who created marriage, who is the One who holds us accountable to keep our covenant, our vows, and who is a God to be feared.\u00a0 As I look at these words you just said, God's ordinance in the <em>holy<\/em> estate.\u00a0 It's not just in the estate of marriage\u2014it is in the set-apart state of marriage\u2014that has been created by a God to whom we are accountable and to whom we will stand responsible for how we fulfill those vows.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think that\u2019s so helpful. You just mentioned the fear of God.\u00a0 I spoke with somebody the other day, a man who is now on his fourth marriage.\u00a0 His three previous marriages had all taken place before ever he heard about Christ or the Gospel in the world of rock and roll and that whole industry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said to him, \"Well, how in the wide world could you create any sense of confidence in proposing to the lady who is now your wife, given the backdrop from which you've come?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was of interest to me because he said, \"I never, ever entered a marriage before with any notion of the fear of the Lord.\"\u00a0 He wasn't talking about a servile fear, as the Reformers would think of it, but of a filial fear\u2014that sense of not wanting to cause offense to a loving Father.\u00a0 He said that that, now, has been the key to making all the difference to the way in which he's living with this lady\u2014and has done, now, for a good number of years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0I've got two questions for both of you.\u00a0 The first is, there are plenty of people, who I know, who are pagans.\u00a0 They don't have any fear of the Lord, but it looks like they've got a pretty happy marriage, and it's gone the distance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome people scratch their heads and say, \"I hear all you Christians with all this uptight language, but it sure doesn't seem like the Christians are doing any better job than the pagans are.\u00a0 In fact, I know some pagans do a better job than the Christians are.\"\u00a0 Where does that come from?\u00a0 How is it that two pagans, with no fear of the Lord, can have a satisfactory marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, we could spend a long time discussing that; but part of the answer is surely in the fact that marriage is a creation ordinance.\u00a0 It was given to man, as man, within the framework of the very origin of society.\u00a0 It predates, if you like, if we can say so, Christianity.\u00a0 God's ideal and God's principles work, if applied, even from an external perspective.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe issue of honesty, the issue of sensitivity, the concerns of communication, of saying, \u201cPlease,\u201d of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d of coming home when you say you come home, of building into one another's lives\u2014these are not the unique precinct of Christianity.\u00a0 These are gifts of the common grace of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomebody, who is professing to follow Jesus, who is discourteous to his wife, who is unfaithful to his promises, is obviously going to make a royal hash of his marriage, irrespective of what he has to say.\u00a0 Whereas, somebody else, who as yet has never understood the immensity of what is there in the Gospel, may actually be a fine, upstanding citizen and a good husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They can experience the benefits because they are obeying some very fundamental laws.\u00a0 I think another reason why a pair of non-Christians may look like they have a better marriage than those who are Christians, or attend church, is because they may be more honest and more authentic with one another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI find some Christians are terribly dishonest in their own marriage relationship.\u00a0 They don't share what's really going on in their lives with one another.\u00a0 Again, a pair of non-Christians, who are attempting oneness, even though they may not be spiritually one, may experience more the benefits of marriage than a pair of Christians who never get around to truly dealing with their issues and getting things on the table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0The pagans may be drawing closer emotionally, soul-to-soul, than two Christians who find themselves isolated both spiritually and emotionally; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think some move to the physical area of their relationship to solve their problems.\u00a0 They have a great sex life, and that's where they channel their energies and their focus.\u00a0 Meanwhile, they've completely ignored a segment of life, the very core of life that God created, for us to be spiritually alive and to walk with Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, here's my second question, \u201cWhat about those people\u2014and you've talked to them\u2014who say, \"You know, we established this marriage before either of us was a Christian.\u00a0 We didn't understand the covenant.\u00a0 We were verbalizing.\u00a0 Maybe we didn't even make a covenant.\u00a0 It was a justice of the peace.\u00a0 We said a few words; I don't even remember what they were.\u00a0 So am I under any obligation to try to fulfill this or wouldn't I be better off trying to find a godly person and marry them?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You are under an obligation to fulfill these things.\u00a0 Whether you understand it's a 30-mile-an-hour limit or not, you are under an obligation to drive at 30 miles an hour.\u00a0 As a creature of the Creator God, you are beholden to God and to His commands and to His laws.\u00a0 His laws are made very clear, and they are meant to be obeyed by His creatures.\u00a0 As a creature, you have a responsibility to this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe wonderful thing, of course, about the Gospel is that, unlike ethics, which is a call to become what you're not.\u00a0 The story of the Gospel is, \u201cBecome what you are.\u00a0 Become what you are, now in Christ.\u201d\u00a0 The power of Christ, within a heart, is to conform that individual to the Lord Jesus and to produce, within that individual, the fruit of the Spirit\u2014love, and joy, and peace, and kindness, and so on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a man begins to grow in Christ, then there ought to be an overspill into what that means for him as a father, as an employer, as an employee, as a husband.\u00a0 That's where the overspill comes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Alistair, what would you say to a man, right now, a woman, right now, who is listening, who is saying, \u201cYou know, you're describing me.\u00a0 I've gone to church.\u00a0 I've attended the church services;\" (maybe on a daily basis), \"and yet, I don't think I know God the way you men are talking about knowing God, in a personal way.\u00a0 How can I come into a personal, saving relationship with Jesus Christ?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I love those questions.\u00a0 They happen every so often.\u00a0 It's a privilege to even think about it.\u00a0 One of the things that I would say is the very reason that you even have that sense, within your heart, is because God is a seeking God.\u00a0 By your very nature, you don't have an inclination to God.\u00a0 You have an inclination to run away from God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to tell you, today, that, as a result of all kinds of things\u2014friendships, reading, promptings\u2014whatever they may be\u2014you, perhaps, couldn't even put them all together in a collage.\u00a0 You have this wonderful picture of, you know, in the old Gospel hymn, you know, \"Jesus is tenderly calling you home.\u00a0 He's calling today\"\u2014this wonderful, endearing picture of the love of God, reaching into a life.\u00a0 I want to assure them of that\u2014that God's kindness leads to an about-turn, as Paul puts it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He does call us out of our sin, then, doesn't He?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He does.\u00a0 The wonderful thing is that these are the people that He calls.\u00a0 In fact, He said that the religious squad\u2014that is stalking in their own self-righteousness\u2014He doesn't call.\u00a0 He calls the person who recognizes, \"I need help.\"\u00a0 I would say, \u201cJust simply turn to Him, in your heart, or as you drive in the car.\u00a0 There's no special formulate prayer.\u00a0 God is not interested in our syntax, but He hears our cries.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMany a person has simply cried out, \"O God, I believe that when You came, in the Lord Jesus Christ, and died upon that cross, You were dying there for me.\u00a0 I want to thank You for that.\u00a0 I don't understand the immensity of that.\u00a0 I'm not sure I understand all of the implications of it, but I do want for You to come and take control of my life, and transform me, and make me the kind of person that You want me to be because I've tried 50 times myself; and I can't make a go of it.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You talk about someone understanding all of the implications of the Gospel.\u00a0 There is a book that we make available to folks, here, if that\u2019s where they are.\u00a0 If they\u2019re in a point in their life\u2014where they\u2019ve begun to realize that they need help, they need their sins forgiven, they need their life to be transformed, and they can\u2019t do it themselves\u2014the book we send them is called <em>Pursuing God<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s by Jim Elliff.\u00a0 If that fits you today, we\u2019d like to invite you to call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to request a copy of that book.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s called <em>Pursuing God<\/em> by Jim Elliff.\u00a0 All you have to do is call 1-800-FL-TODAY to request a copy, or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We would love to get a copy of that book in your hands, and we\u2019ll send it to you free and with no obligation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain our website:\u00a0 FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Our toll-free number is 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d\u00a0 Ask about the book, <em>Pursuing God,<\/em> when you get in touch with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd ask about Alistair\u2019s book, <em>Lasting Love<\/em>.\u00a0 We have that in our <em>FamilyLifeToday<\/em> Resource Center, as well.\u00a0 It\u2019s about, not just how you gut it out in marriage, but about how your marriage can be lived according to God\u2019s design and how commitment can actually bring passion and life into a marriage relationship.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about Alistair\u2019s book, <em>Lasting Love;<\/em> or call us toll-free at 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 We\u2019ll let you know how we can get a copy of the book sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that many of our listeners also listen to <em>Truth for Life<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>, which is Alistair\u2019s radio program.\u00a0 I have the privilege of being able to be a part of that program, as well.\u00a0 I am grateful for that opportunity to be able to partner together with you and with the <em>Truth for Life<\/em> team.\u00a0 I know your ministry has folks that you refer to as Truth Partners, monthly donors to your ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, at FamilyLife, we have Legacy Partners\u2014same kind of idea\u2014folks who help support this ministry on a monthly basis.\u00a0 Those monthly donors, for both of our ministries, are essential.\u00a0 They help provide the financial stability that makes ministries like this possible.\u00a0 I just want to say a word to those of you who are Legacy Partners with <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate your commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, we\u2019re hoping that some of our regular listeners will step up and become new Legacy Partners.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019re hoping 1,500 new families will join with us this month.\u00a0 We\u2019d like to ask you to prayerfully consider being one of our new Legacy Partners.\u00a0 When you do that, we\u2019re going to make resources available to you, throughout the year, to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, you\u2019ll be helping with the cost of producing, and syndicating this radio program, and distributing it all around the world.\u00a0 We appreciate that partnership and would love to hear from you.\u00a0 You can become a Legacy Partner, online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free at 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for your participation with us as a Legacy Partner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we\u2019re going to talk about wedding vows.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about why wedding vows make a difference\u2014why it\u2019s important for us to pay attention to the promises we make when we get married.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.74M"],"filesize_raw":["23845785"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302483.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302483.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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were you really saying when you vowed to love \"until death do us part?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-22.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what happens in a marriage if the needle on your love meter is not moving very much?\u00a0 That's the time you need to walk over to the commitment meter and make sure it is at 100 percent.\u00a0 Here's Pastor Alistair Begg.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 If people go into marriage in that way, with all these expectations that have to do with flowers and roses and Hallmark<sup>\u00ae<\/sup> clich\u00e9s, then as soon as the thing runs up against something difficult\u2014without vows, without commitments, with a love that is now simply the victim of their emotions, rather than a servant of their wills\u2014then they've got nowhere to turn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, March 22<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We have a little twist on the old saying today.\u00a0 When the going gets tough in marriage, the tough stay put.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Dennis?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Bob, recently, I read \u201cDear Abby\u201d.\u00a0 Now, I have to tell you, I don't have my quiet time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You don't get up every morning and see what Abby\u2019s advice is?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I don't, but I happened to read \u201cDear Abby\u201d the other day.\u00a0 It was a letter from a pastor in Eustis, Florida.\u00a0 Now I don\u2019t have any idea where Eustis, Florida, is. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I don\u2019t either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 E-U-S-T-I-S.\u00a0 But I just want to read what this pastor said in terms of a woman who was in a loveless marriage and what she ought to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\"Dear Abby, Sick at Heart\"\u2014that's who had written Abby before, evidently\u2014wrote that, \u201cShe is trapped in a loveless marriage because, after being divorced, she made a religious commitment that she would never leave her second husband.\u00a0 She said that the love is long gone and that her doctor has not been able to successfully medicate her severe depression.\u00a0 You\"\u2014Abby, I guess\u2014\u201cadvised her to talk with her spiritual advisor.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cWell,\" he writes, \"I am a spiritual advisor, and I would like to direct my comments to that woman.\"\u00a0 What follows are this spiritual advisor's, this pastor's advice, to that woman.\u00a0 \"I strongly feel, that in a marriage made by God, two people become one.\u00a0 From your description of your marriage, it is clear that it was never sanctioned by God.\u00a0 Therefore, you are released from any pledge that you have made.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He doesn't explain why it was not sanctioned by God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He doesn't, but he goes on to say this, \"The Bible tells us that God is present everywhere.\u00a0 This includes you.\u00a0 His spirit is within you.\u00a0 God is love and wants love to fill our lives.\u00a0 God does not want anyone to live in a situation such as you have described.\u00a0 There is no spiritual law that demands you stay in your loveless marriage.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe goes on to conclude his statements, \u201cLearn to forgive yourself for the mistake, as Jesus forgave the woman at the well who had five husbands and the one she was living with was not her husband.\u00a0 Listen to the Holy Spirit within you, and you will be free to go your way.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 And now, with an opposing opinion, here is Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, actually, we have a pastor who I happen to believe thinks differently from the pastor from Eustis, Florida, as well.\u00a0 His name is Alistair Begg, and I welcome him to the broadcast.\u00a0 Alistair?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Thanks, Dennis.\u00a0 It's a privilege to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You're a pastor of a church, a large church, near Cleveland, Ohio.\u00a0 What do you think of Reverend\u2014well, how can I use the word \"reverend\u201d?\u00a0 Anyway, he is a pastor.\u00a0 What do you think of his advice to this woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I think it's tragic.\u00a0 What makes it most tragic, I think, is the fact that it's fairly representative of a mentality that takes the Bible and turns it on its head.\u00a0 The wonderfully liberating thing about biblical principles is that they establish the curbs for us in which to ride and run.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when we come to those difficult points on the journey, then we apply principle and we stay within the framework that God has given us.\u00a0 The idea that, \u201cEvery time you don't like it or every time it doesn't work, you simply redirect the road, or you reconstruct the curbs, or whatever else it is\u201d\u2014eventually, people just fall in upon themselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you've talked, as a pastor, to women or men in a prolonged marriage that they would describe as a loveless marriage.\u00a0 Do you tell them, \u201cJust keep a stiff upper lip and endure it, and God will bless you\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, no, I don\u2019t.\u00a0 I hope I don't just tell them that because that sounds like a chronicle of despair, really\u2014you know, \u201cGo away and have a nice\u201d\u2014\u201cGo and be warm and be fed.\u201d\u00a0 I think that what I would want to say is, \u201cI'd love to talk with you and with your husband because, clearly, there is a breakdown in communication.\u00a0 There are things here that shouldn't be taking place; but, also, I believe in a God who makes all things new\u2014a God who restores the years that the locusts have eaten.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I like to say to couples is, \u201cI'm not asking you to return to the mess that you're describing.\u00a0 I'm asking you to turn away from the mess that you're describing and to discover, in God, and in His Word, and by His Spirit, the opportunity to make a brand-new start,\u201d\u2014the kind of starts that we've been enjoying in some of our travels around the country together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have to give Abby some credit for at least acknowledging that the answer to this issue is ultimately a spiritual answer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She pointed the reader in the right direction, saying, \u201cYou ought to talk to a spiritual advisor.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, that's after the headlines read, \"Woman's Loveless Marriage Isn't a Part of God's Plan.\"\u00a0 Well, that's half-true.\u00a0 A loveless marriage isn't what God wants for any married couple; but He, like Alistair has said, wants couples to learn how to reconcile, how to replace what was false love or feelings with real love, real commitment, that goes the distance.\u00a0 That really is the theme of your book that you've written, <em>Lasting Love.<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, you grew up in Scotland.\u00a0 You hold to a pretty conservative view of the vows today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 In fact, you believe that the vows that have endured centuries of bad marriages, bad preaching, and bad marriage ceremonies\u2014you believe that those vows really\u2014and the words of those vows\u2014really have important meaning for us today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, yes.\u00a0 I mean, part of it is probably cultural prejudice on my part, that I should confess and move away from in terms of always wanting to believe that material from the <em>Oxford English Dictionary<\/em> is better than <em>Webster's<\/em>.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe fact is that the phraseology of it has lasted so well for so long that\u2014to supplant it, to replace it, unless it's going to be improved\u2014is probably not a wise thing to do because the vows\u2014you know, the vows say what need to be said\u00a0 in comparison to\u2014I mean, I've heard some unbelievable vows.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, you spoke at one of our <em>I Still Do<\/em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup> events, and you were talking about a couple who came into your office.\u00a0 They wanted to kind of mix it up and freshen it up a bit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, yes.\u00a0 It was funny; it was embarrassing; and it was, ultimately, sad.\u00a0 The lady got very offended at me when I suggested that these weren't actually vows that she had contrived, but they were sort of sentimental notions.\u00a0 They were little feelings\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>What were they wanting to promise each other? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, they weren't so much promising anything\u2014that was the point.\u00a0 They wanted to have a sort of love fest at the front of the church where they would say\u2014you know, like, \u201cJonathan, the first ever I saw your face\u201d\u2014you know\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014like Hallmark cards?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 Basically, they had taken a succession of Hallmark cards, and strung them all together, and said, \"These will do instead of vows,\"\u2014which, in actual fact, you see, almost plays into the piece with which you began, Dennis.\u00a0 Inasmuch as if people go into marriage in that way, with all these expectations that have to do with flowers, and roses, and Hallmark clich\u00e9s, then as soon as the thing runs up against something difficult\u2014without vows, without commitments\u2014with a love that is now simply the victim of their emotions rather than a servant of their wills\u2014then they've got nowhere to turn.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0The traditional vows aren't from the pages of Holy Writ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>No, they're not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Did they come\u2014do you know their origin?\u00a0 Did they come out of the <em>Book of Common Prayer<\/em>?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, well, the ones that I use are just sort of a jazzed-up version of the 17th century <em>Book of Common Prayer<\/em> from the Anglican Church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0So, pastors sat down and said, \"We understand a little bit about God's intention for marriage.\u00a0 We're going to solemnize a covenant ceremony with this exchange of vows.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That's right.\u00a0 That's why the vows, then, always need to be said against the unfolding pattern of marriage, as it's given to us in the Bible.\u00a0 To the extent that they concur with that, then they can stay.\u00a0 If they deviate from that, then they probably should be dispensed with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You deal with every phrase that is found in the vows that we state to one another, when we get married, in your book, <em>Lasting Love<\/em>.\u00a0 Let's take the first one.\u00a0 It's a question, \"Will you have this person to be your lawful, wedded wife (or husband)?\u201d\u00a0 Now, you believe that question is a very important question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think it is, especially in the climate of today.\u00a0 If you listen to rap language and find how they use the verb \"to have,\"\u2014<em>having<\/em> someone.\u00a0 \u201cI want to <em>have<\/em> you.\u201d\u00a0 You know, it's not framed within the context of propriety.\u00a0 I don't want to hear somebody singing that to either of my two girls\u2014let's put it that way.\u00a0 The fact is that that is all wrapped up in that question, \u201cWill you have this woman?\u201d because we're not talking about will you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014possess her.\u00a0 It's more of a call to responsibility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\u00a0 \u201cDo you take her to yourself?\u00a0 Does she take herself to you?\u201d\u00a0 It's a wonderful question because it allows you to unfold from it all of the elements\u2014physical, emotional, mental, psychological, spiritual\u2014that are wrapped up in that question.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBecause somebody would say, \u201cWhat do you mean <em>have<\/em> this woman?\u00a0 What does it mean to <em>have<\/em> this woman?\u201d\u00a0 Well, it doesn't just mean a physical thing.\u00a0 It involves the totality of our humanity\u2014\u201cthe bone of my bone, the flesh of my flesh\u201d\u2014this intermingling at a deep psychosomatic level; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You're talking about oneness in marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014oneness\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You're talking about becoming one with another person.\u00a0 That's what <em>having<\/em> is implying; isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That's exactly right.\u00a0 That's what makes it such a good question, I think.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well\u2014and it's interesting, too\u2014because the next phrase says, \"Will you live together after God's ordinances in the holy estate of marriage?\"\u00a0 It's really pointing you in the direction for how to make the marriage work; isn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Of course, it is.\u00a0 It is saying, \u201cYou're not out there, swinging in the breeze, hoping for the best, trying to clutch something out of the air; but God has a blueprint here.\u00a0 Since He's the Creator, since He invented the whole process, it seems to make perfect sense, actually, to pay attention to what He has.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, you get any kind of mechanism\u2014somebody just gave me a new cellular phone the other day.\u00a0 I spent a long, long time, in this tiny little book, trying to make sense of it\u2014and a very poor attempt at it, as well\u2014but I was, at least, in the right place.\u00a0 I just needed somebody to help me apply the material.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, in that sense\u2014this is one of the wonderful things that we are able to do by means of radio, within the context of local churches in the building of friendships, and so on\u2014is to be able to help people who go to the instructions\u2014don't really know how to find their way around them\u2014and we're able to come alongside them and say, \"Let me show you here.\u00a0 Let me help you unfold this.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>The problem in many marriages, as we've said many times here on <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> is you have two people reading two different instruction books.\u00a0 They're not in the same instruction book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0And neither one of them is the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0One of them is reading Dr. Joyce, and the other one is reading Dr. Laura.\u00a0 They're disagreeing with each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>And neither one points them back to the God who was the One who created marriage, who is the One who holds us accountable to keep our covenant, our vows, and who is a God to be feared.\u00a0 As I look at these words you just said, God's ordinance in the <em>holy<\/em> estate.\u00a0 It's not just in the estate of marriage\u2014it is in the set-apart state of marriage\u2014that has been created by a God to whom we are accountable and to whom we will stand responsible for how we fulfill those vows.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think that\u2019s so helpful. You just mentioned the fear of God.\u00a0 I spoke with somebody the other day, a man who is now on his fourth marriage.\u00a0 His three previous marriages had all taken place before ever he heard about Christ or the Gospel in the world of rock and roll and that whole industry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said to him, \"Well, how in the wide world could you create any sense of confidence in proposing to the lady who is now your wife, given the backdrop from which you've come?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was of interest to me because he said, \"I never, ever entered a marriage before with any notion of the fear of the Lord.\"\u00a0 He wasn't talking about a servile fear, as the Reformers would think of it, but of a filial fear\u2014that sense of not wanting to cause offense to a loving Father.\u00a0 He said that that, now, has been the key to making all the difference to the way in which he's living with this lady\u2014and has done, now, for a good number of years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0I've got two questions for both of you.\u00a0 The first is, there are plenty of people, who I know, who are pagans.\u00a0 They don't have any fear of the Lord, but it looks like they've got a pretty happy marriage, and it's gone the distance.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome people scratch their heads and say, \"I hear all you Christians with all this uptight language, but it sure doesn't seem like the Christians are doing any better job than the pagans are.\u00a0 In fact, I know some pagans do a better job than the Christians are.\"\u00a0 Where does that come from?\u00a0 How is it that two pagans, with no fear of the Lord, can have a satisfactory marriage?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, we could spend a long time discussing that; but part of the answer is surely in the fact that marriage is a creation ordinance.\u00a0 It was given to man, as man, within the framework of the very origin of society.\u00a0 It predates, if you like, if we can say so, Christianity.\u00a0 God's ideal and God's principles work, if applied, even from an external perspective.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe issue of honesty, the issue of sensitivity, the concerns of communication, of saying, \u201cPlease,\u201d of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d of coming home when you say you come home, of building into one another's lives\u2014these are not the unique precinct of Christianity.\u00a0 These are gifts of the common grace of God. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSomebody, who is professing to follow Jesus, who is discourteous to his wife, who is unfaithful to his promises, is obviously going to make a royal hash of his marriage, irrespective of what he has to say.\u00a0 Whereas, somebody else, who as yet has never understood the immensity of what is there in the Gospel, may actually be a fine, upstanding citizen and a good husband.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>They can experience the benefits because they are obeying some very fundamental laws.\u00a0 I think another reason why a pair of non-Christians may look like they have a better marriage than those who are Christians, or attend church, is because they may be more honest and more authentic with one another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI find some Christians are terribly dishonest in their own marriage relationship.\u00a0 They don't share what's really going on in their lives with one another.\u00a0 Again, a pair of non-Christians, who are attempting oneness, even though they may not be spiritually one, may experience more the benefits of marriage than a pair of Christians who never get around to truly dealing with their issues and getting things on the table.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0The pagans may be drawing closer emotionally, soul-to-soul, than two Christians who find themselves isolated both spiritually and emotionally; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I think some move to the physical area of their relationship to solve their problems.\u00a0 They have a great sex life, and that's where they channel their energies and their focus.\u00a0 Meanwhile, they've completely ignored a segment of life, the very core of life that God created, for us to be spiritually alive and to walk with Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, here's my second question, \u201cWhat about those people\u2014and you've talked to them\u2014who say, \"You know, we established this marriage before either of us was a Christian.\u00a0 We didn't understand the covenant.\u00a0 We were verbalizing.\u00a0 Maybe we didn't even make a covenant.\u00a0 It was a justice of the peace.\u00a0 We said a few words; I don't even remember what they were.\u00a0 So am I under any obligation to try to fulfill this or wouldn't I be better off trying to find a godly person and marry them?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You are under an obligation to fulfill these things.\u00a0 Whether you understand it's a 30-mile-an-hour limit or not, you are under an obligation to drive at 30 miles an hour.\u00a0 As a creature of the Creator God, you are beholden to God and to His commands and to His laws.\u00a0 His laws are made very clear, and they are meant to be obeyed by His creatures.\u00a0 As a creature, you have a responsibility to this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe wonderful thing, of course, about the Gospel is that, unlike ethics, which is a call to become what you're not.\u00a0 The story of the Gospel is, \u201cBecome what you are.\u00a0 Become what you are, now in Christ.\u201d\u00a0 The power of Christ, within a heart, is to conform that individual to the Lord Jesus and to produce, within that individual, the fruit of the Spirit\u2014love, and joy, and peace, and kindness, and so on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen a man begins to grow in Christ, then there ought to be an overspill into what that means for him as a father, as an employer, as an employee, as a husband.\u00a0 That's where the overspill comes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Alistair, what would you say to a man, right now, a woman, right now, who is listening, who is saying, \u201cYou know, you're describing me.\u00a0 I've gone to church.\u00a0 I've attended the church services;\" (maybe on a daily basis), \"and yet, I don't think I know God the way you men are talking about knowing God, in a personal way.\u00a0 How can I come into a personal, saving relationship with Jesus Christ?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I love those questions.\u00a0 They happen every so often.\u00a0 It's a privilege to even think about it.\u00a0 One of the things that I would say is the very reason that you even have that sense, within your heart, is because God is a seeking God.\u00a0 By your very nature, you don't have an inclination to God.\u00a0 You have an inclination to run away from God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to tell you, today, that, as a result of all kinds of things\u2014friendships, reading, promptings\u2014whatever they may be\u2014you, perhaps, couldn't even put them all together in a collage.\u00a0 You have this wonderful picture of, you know, in the old Gospel hymn, you know, \"Jesus is tenderly calling you home.\u00a0 He's calling today\"\u2014this wonderful, endearing picture of the love of God, reaching into a life.\u00a0 I want to assure them of that\u2014that God's kindness leads to an about-turn, as Paul puts it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He does call us out of our sin, then, doesn't He?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Alistair:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>He does.\u00a0 The wonderful thing is that these are the people that He calls.\u00a0 In fact, He said that the religious squad\u2014that is stalking in their own self-righteousness\u2014He doesn't call.\u00a0 He calls the person who recognizes, \"I need help.\"\u00a0 I would say, \u201cJust simply turn to Him, in your heart, or as you drive in the car.\u00a0 There's no special formulate prayer.\u00a0 God is not interested in our syntax, but He hears our cries.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMany a person has simply cried out, \"O God, I believe that when You came, in the Lord Jesus Christ, and died upon that cross, You were dying there for me.\u00a0 I want to thank You for that.\u00a0 I don't understand the immensity of that.\u00a0 I'm not sure I understand all of the implications of it, but I do want for You to come and take control of my life, and transform me, and make me the kind of person that You want me to be because I've tried 50 times myself; and I can't make a go of it.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You talk about someone understanding all of the implications of the Gospel.\u00a0 There is a book that we make available to folks, here, if that\u2019s where they are.\u00a0 If they\u2019re in a point in their life\u2014where they\u2019ve begun to realize that they need help, they need their sins forgiven, they need their life to be transformed, and they can\u2019t do it themselves\u2014the book we send them is called <em>Pursuing God<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s by Jim Elliff.\u00a0 If that fits you today, we\u2019d like to invite you to call us at 1-800-FL-TODAY to request a copy of that book.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s called <em>Pursuing God<\/em> by Jim Elliff.\u00a0 All you have to do is call 1-800-FL-TODAY to request a copy, or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We would love to get a copy of that book in your hands, and we\u2019ll send it to you free and with no obligation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain our website:\u00a0 FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Our toll-free number is 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d\u00a0 Ask about the book, <em>Pursuing God,<\/em> when you get in touch with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd ask about Alistair\u2019s book, <em>Lasting Love<\/em>.\u00a0 We have that in our <em>FamilyLifeToday<\/em> Resource Center, as well.\u00a0 It\u2019s about, not just how you gut it out in marriage, but about how your marriage can be lived according to God\u2019s design and how commitment can actually bring passion and life into a marriage relationship.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about Alistair\u2019s book, <em>Lasting Love;<\/em> or call us toll-free at 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 We\u2019ll let you know how we can get a copy of the book sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that many of our listeners also listen to <em>Truth for Life<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em>, which is Alistair\u2019s radio program.\u00a0 I have the privilege of being able to be a part of that program, as well.\u00a0 I am grateful for that opportunity to be able to partner together with you and with the <em>Truth for Life<\/em> team.\u00a0 I know your ministry has folks that you refer to as Truth Partners, monthly donors to your ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHere, at FamilyLife, we have Legacy Partners\u2014same kind of idea\u2014folks who help support this ministry on a monthly basis.\u00a0 Those monthly donors, for both of our ministries, are essential.\u00a0 They help provide the financial stability that makes ministries like this possible.\u00a0 I just want to say a word to those of you who are Legacy Partners with <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We appreciate your commitment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, we\u2019re hoping that some of our regular listeners will step up and become new Legacy Partners.\u00a0 In fact, we\u2019re hoping 1,500 new families will join with us this month.\u00a0 We\u2019d like to ask you to prayerfully consider being one of our new Legacy Partners.\u00a0 When you do that, we\u2019re going to make resources available to you, throughout the year, to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, you\u2019ll be helping with the cost of producing, and syndicating this radio program, and distributing it all around the world.\u00a0 We appreciate that partnership and would love to hear from you.\u00a0 You can become a Legacy Partner, online at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free at 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for your participation with us as a Legacy Partner.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we\u2019re going to talk about wedding vows.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about why wedding vows make a difference\u2014why it\u2019s important for us to pay attention to the promises we make when we get married.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302483","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302483"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302483"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302483"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302483"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}