{"id":302478,"date":"2012-03-12T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-12T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/shaping-a-child\/"},"modified":"2012-03-12T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-12T15:00:00","slug":"shaping-a-child","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/shaping-a-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Shaping a Child"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Children are like wet cement.  The time to impress their hearts for good is when they&#8217;re small.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-12.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.7M","filesize_raw":"23802083","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2850,2881],"tags":[4096],"podcast_series":[7863],"cwp_profile":[8978],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302478","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-character-development","category-young-children","tag-mentoring","podcast_series-just-a-minute","cwp_profile-wess-stafford","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302478\/shaping-a-child","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302478\/shaping-a-child","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"pyGAIOYjrv\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/shaping-a-child\/\">Shaping a Child<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/shaping-a-child\/embed\/#?secret=pyGAIOYjrv\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Shaping a Child&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"pyGAIOYjrv\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Children are like wet cement. The time to impress their hearts for good is when they're small.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-12.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How aware are you of the children around you at any point in your day?\u00a0 Wess Stafford, who is the President of Compassion International\u00ae, says God has a divine mission for each one of us to bless children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 You notice I wear a Mickey Mouse watch.\u00a0 Executive of this massive big thing, I still wear a Mickey Mouse watch.\u00a0 Know why I do it?\u00a0 I use it to remind myself of my mission.\u00a0 We\u2019ve all been children.\u00a0 We\u2019re all experts at this.\u00a0 We don\u2019t need one more day of education.\u00a0 We remember either how childhood should be or how it shouldn\u2019t be; but either way, we are all fully equipped and, I believe, mandated to bless the children around us. That\u2019s what we\u2019re trying to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, March 12<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Blessing the children around you is not something that is that hard to do.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t take much time or a lot of effort.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about how to do it today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 If you were to come over to our house, you would see, on the front of the refrigerator, a couple of pictures of kids we\u2019ve corresponded with but have never met.\u00a0 That\u2019s been the same for about, I think, about 30 years.\u00a0 I think, when our daughter Amy was born, we decided, \u201cWell, if we\u2019re going to have a daughter of our own, we ought to support a daughter somewhere in the world who doesn\u2019t have enough.\u201d\u00a0 So, we had our first Compassion child that year; and it\u2019s continued now for 30 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, last year, Dennis, I came home\u2014and, usually, MaryAnn and I will sit down and talk about giving decisions, where we want to give money, and organizations we want to support.\u00a0 I came home and she said, \u201cI decided we should support another Compassion child.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOh, you did?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cYes!\u201d\u00a0 Of course, I didn\u2019t mind that at all.\u00a0 I was glad we were able to do it.\u00a0 I just thought it was interesting that, just as we started having grandchildren, she said we\u2019re going to up the ante a little bit. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that\u2019s a good challenge.\u00a0 Frankly, a good way to start the broadcast as we introduce our listeners, again, to our friend, Wess Stafford, who is the President and CEO of Compassion International.\u00a0 Welcome back, Wess.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s nice to be back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wess has served in the compassion area of ministry now for more than three decades.\u00a0 He and his wife Donna have been married for 32 years.\u00a0 They have two daughters, and I love your bio.\u00a0 It reads, \u201cHe has a dog that worships Wess and a cat that doesn\u2019t\u2014 (Laughter) \u2013who worships herself.\u201d\u00a0 I love the line.\u00a0 I really do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t we all have that going on in our house?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He has written a book called <em>Just a Minute<\/em>.\u00a0 It is, really, just a bunch of great stories that I think\u2014it is the heart of God for children.\u00a0 It\u2019s all about children.\u00a0 You begin the book\u2014you actually talk about how a child is like wet cement.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Actually, this book sprang out of the last one, <em>Too Small to Ignore<\/em>.\u00a0 That was a 300-page book.\u00a0 Three pages of it, I made the case\u2014because in that book, as you know, I was trying to make the case of the importance of children.\u00a0 I made the case that the spirit of a child is a lot like wet cement.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t take much effort at all to make an impression that can last a lifetime.\u00a0 If you wait until they\u2019re teenagers\u2014well now, you need a hammer and chisel if you want to make a mark.\u00a0 If you wait until\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that may not work, by the way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are no guarantees.\u00a0 If you wait until they\u2019re grownups, now you need a stick of dynamite to make an impression.\u00a0 I was trying to make the case that the time to make the impression is when the children are small and they are a lot like wet cement, at that point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This book that you\u2019ve written now, <em>Just a Minute<\/em>, is a way to illustrate how that\u2019s been done as you\u2019ve heard stories as the President of Compassion International; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly right.\u00a0 It is 68 stories of people from all across the world, famous and not so famous\u2014people who remember the moment when their life got launched.\u00a0 I love the quote form Graham Green.\u00a0 He says, \u201cThere is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tKnowing that to be the case, I have collected stories, ever since I sat here in this studio with the last time on the other book.\u00a0 For five years, I\u2019ve collected stories of people who can point to that minute when someone said something, someone did something\u2014that now they can see that defines who they are, their personality, their relationships, what they might be doing as a vocation.\u00a0 These are people who can say, \u201cI can tell you the minute.\u00a0 I can tell you where I was.\u00a0 I can tell you what was going on\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201c\u2014in that moment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You break the stories in your book up into a number of different sections or categories.\u00a0 I guess, as you gathered them, you began to get some common themes where you said these minutes in a child\u2019s life come at strategic times, around strategic issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 We kind of organized them because I just gathered them as I went.\u00a0 We organized them around, you know, spiritual awakening, or character development, or the discovery of talent.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the stories on that, that I love, is the story of Andre Crouch.\u00a0 Surely, many would remember him\u2014this amazing musician, this writer of many, many of the worship songs that have built our faith over the years.\u00a0 When I was describing to him this concept of \u201cjust a minute\u201d, he said, \u201cOh, I\u2019ve got one!\u201d\u00a0 He described the story of his father, who was a pastor in Los Angeles\u2014of an inner-city church, a very small church, only a handful of people.\u00a0 He says they were mostly homeless people.\u00a0 He says, \u201cThe thing I remember most about them, as a little boy, is that they all smelled like old cheese.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe said, \u201cYou know, you can image, with a handful of street people, we had no music.\u00a0 I\u2019m age 11.\u00a0 My father comes to me and he kneels down in front of me so we\u2019re eye to eye.\u00a0 He puts his hands on my shoulders and he looks me in the eye and says, \u2018Andre, if God gave you the gift of music, would you use it for His glory?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Andre said, \u201cWell, yes Pappa.\u201d\u00a0 His dad went down the street a few houses, and he found someone who had an old abandoned piano in the basement.\u00a0 Andre says, \u201cI looked up and down at those black and white keys, and I found myself.\u201d He said, \u201cWithin two weeks, I was playing the hymns in my father\u2019s church,\u201d and he says, \u201cEver since then, I have been writing.\u201d\u00a0 He says, \u201cSometimes I write five songs a day\u201d; but he says, \u201cI know when it began.\u00a0 It began the minute my father knelt in front of me and said, \u2018Andre, if God gave you the gift of music, would you use it for His glory?\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I hear you tell that story.\u00a0 I\u2019m no Andre Crouch, obviously; but in the second grade, my teacher came up to me.\u00a0 It was Christmastime and she said, \u201cYou have a nice voice.\u00a0 Would you pick a Christmas carol that you would like to sing for the other students in our school?\u201d\u00a0 As you\u2019re telling the story, I can take you back to the school cafeteria where I sang <em>The First Noel<\/em> because\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 How old were you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I was second grade; so I would have been seven years old, maybe.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I sang it particularly well or that any of my school friends came up affirming me; but just the fact that a teacher had said, \u201cYou have a nice voice.\u00a0 Would you do this?\u201d\u00a0 Something in the back of my mind said, \u201cThat\u2019s something I could do.\u201d\u00a0 We have no idea how much life is given when we affirm just a simple gift that we see present in a child; do we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the thing that I\u2019ve watched over these five years\u2014as I\u2019ve been speaking about the first book\u2014as I\u2019ve got to this point of, \u201cWho was it that said something, did something, that really launched your life?\u201d,\u00a0 I\u2019ve watched audiences kind of glaze away from me.\u00a0 I can tell that all of a sudden they\u2019re little seven-year-old boys again.\u00a0 They\u2019re remembering that moment.\u00a0 It\u2019s an incredibly powerful thing.\u00a0 It is often a teacher.\u00a0 I had to actually glean out teacher stories\u2014only the best of the best\u2014because teachers are amazing heroes among us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They really are.\u00a0 The Proverbs remind us in Proverbs 25:11, \u201cA word fitly spoken\u201d\u2014we can almost repeat it, can\u2019t we\u2014\u201cis like apples of gold in a setting of silver.\u201d\u00a0 A word fitly spoken\u2014as adults, we\u2019re keepers of those words.\u00a0 One of the things I enjoyed, as I was reading your book, Wess, is how\u2014and it had to happen as a result of writing the book\u2014you began to have some kind of spiritual radar out, looking for ways to just affirm children.\u00a0 You\u2019re driving down the freeway, and what do you do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 Every child within sight is a moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re waving at them\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong> You can wave to strangers at the stop light.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and smile at them!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And pass it on.\u00a0 What is your favorite moment, in your life, where someone spoke one of those fitly-spoken words?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you know, from the first book\u2014let me just preface\u2014that a life can be launched in a moment, and a life can be destroyed in a moment.\u00a0 You remember from the last time I was here with you, one of the moments\u2014and I had to include it in this book\u2014and the fact that the good stories and bad stories are interwoven here, just like they are in real life.\u00a0 One of the bad stories, of course, was that moment of great pain and agony when I refused to drop a candle because I refused to lose one more time, as it was burning my fingers.\u00a0 That story is one of the bad ones, but one of the good ones was my first day in the United States.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second.\u00a0 You can\u2019t run by that story.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to give them a context of what was taking place there.\u00a0 You were, what, nine\u2014nine years old?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nine years old.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you were in a school.\u00a0 Your parents were missionaries; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was raised in West Africa\u2014all of us kids.\u00a0 Mission policy was to send all of us kids off to boarding school\u2014in large part, to get us out of the way so the Gospel could go forth.\u00a0 Sadly, the people put in charge of us\u2014there were 50 of us\u2014you know, weren\u2019t called to do that and didn\u2019t want to do that.\u00a0 Nobody held them accountable for how they did that.\u00a0 They weren\u2019t trained to do that.\u00a0 It was a very cruel, very harsh\u2014harsh place to be a little boy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProbably the cruelest part of it all was they made it very clear that, \u201cYou cannot tell anybody what happens.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, we were abused physically, spiritually, emotionally, and even sexually.\u00a0 They said, \u201cYou can\u2019t tell anyone what happens here or you will be Satan\u2019s tool to destroy your parents\u2019 ministry in Africa,\u201d\u2014powerful that they used our love for God, our love for our parents, our love for Africans, to silence us.\u00a0 In all 50 of us, it actually worked.\u00a0 We wrote letters every week but we never told.\u00a0 We were home for three months out of each year, and we never told\u2014none of us, 50 of us\u2014until I finally did.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI finally broke at one moment because one of the things they did\u2014they didn\u2019t allow us to have pictures of our parents.\u00a0 Some genius thought that would be too tough on little kids, away from home nine months a year.\u00a0 So my\u2014the first month I was gone\u2014every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was my parents.\u00a0 By the ninth month, I could not conjure up what they looked like any more; and I was afraid I would break their heart when we came face-to-face\u2014I wouldn\u2019t know who were my parents.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I, one time, leaving home, I took my mother\u2019s face in my hands.\u00a0 She said, \u201cWhat are you doing, Wess?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cMomma, I just don\u2019t want to forget what you look like.\u201d\u00a0 Of course, she burst into tears.\u00a0 Who wouldn\u2019t?\u00a0 I burst into tears.\u00a0 I grabbed about 30 seconds, not even a minute, 30 seconds to just spill out how, \u201cPlease don\u2019t send me back!\u00a0 They hate me.\u00a0 They beat me.\u201d\u00a0 This look of horror on her face\u2014\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the long run, the whole story is I had to take off on a plane.\u00a0 We, kids, were leaving ahead of the parents.\u00a0 The parents came by ship.\u00a0 My mom had just that information\u2014and then, 30 days at sea to deal with it, with no more information.\u00a0 Sure enough\u2014when she got to Africa\u2014she\u2019d had a nervous breakdown and had to be sent back home.\u00a0 When word spread up to school that I had spoken, the house father took a moment to make the case to the kids, in his rage, that I was Satan\u2019s tool.\u00a0 Basically, what he said is, \u201cYou can\u2019t serve God and Satan.\u00a0 This little boy, Wess, has tried to do that\u2014just like you can\u2019t burn a candle from both ends.\u201d In a moment of sick genius, he grabbed a birthday candle, carved off the other end so that it could burn from both directions, stuck it in my hand and said, \u201cYou want to serve God and Satan?\u00a0 Watch what happens when you try.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>Well, by then, I was ten years old.\u00a0 I had just turned ten.\u00a0 I had been beaten, 17 times a week; I had been sexually abused.\u00a0 I was at the end of my rope.\u00a0 Now, I knew that I believed them\u2014that there would be Africans in hell because of me.\u00a0 I had had all I could take. Unwittingly, he had sort of leveled the playing field, for the first time in my life.\u00a0 He had always been bigger, always been stronger, he could always beat me.\u00a0 I could never do anything back to him; but this time, I had this desperate thought, standing on this little folding chair, in front of my little friends.\u00a0 \u201cIf I am willing to endure enough pain, I could win this time.\u201d\u00a0 I determined that I would.\u00a0 This was my Masada.\u00a0 This was\u2014I would not retreat from this.\u00a0 This would be his Waterloo, but it would be my Masada.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt age ten, I had enough rage and hurt that I would not drop that candle, as it burned closer and closer to my finger.\u00a0 I clenched it tighter.\u00a0 I clenched every muscle in my body, my teeth.\u00a0 I watched it burn until it was actually making both sides of my fingers red.\u00a0 I watched a bubble pop out.\u00a0 Then something mysterious\u2014I floated outside of myself\u2014hovering overhead, looking back at this little ten-year-old skinny boy, with a candle in his fingers, as if it was happening to someone else.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t feel the pain at that point.\u00a0 I could hear the blood pounding in my ears when one of the kids jumped up and slapped it out of my hand.\u00a0 Everybody screamed, and scattered, and there I stood on that chair, all by myself.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had my calling.\u00a0 I knew, from that day forward, I would speak up for children.\u00a0 I would fight for children.\u00a0 I went from victim to victor in a minute.\u00a0 The rage that I use to lead Compassion International, and to fight for children, is the same I had at age ten.\u00a0 People wonder, \u201cHow do you work so hard?\u00a0 Why are you so passionate?\u201d\u00a0 Well, it all came from a minute. Truth be known, it was actually 90 seconds.\u00a0 I actually got a birthday candle and retimed that as I was writing this book.\u00a0 It was 90 seconds; but that was\u2014that was a minute of mine that I included\u2014which was a desperate, dark valley\u2014but, ultimately, launched my life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you talk about that rage fueling the ministry that you\u2019re involved with today\u2014I just want to make it clear for listeners\u2014you\u2019ve had to, in your own heart and mind, go through the process of forgiving, of letting go of, the right to punish those who oppressed you.\u00a0 You\u2019re now talking about a righteous indignation at any who would oppress.\u00a0 The heart of God is for the child and those who would oppress them.\u00a0 You\u2019re on God\u2019s side; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 I surely see that now.\u00a0 As a little boy, I wasn\u2019t sure where I was.\u00a0 People often wonder, \u201cHow is it you are productive after what you\u2019ve been through?\u201d\u00a0 I tell them, \u201cWell, it\u2019s one word.\u00a0 It\u2019s a hard word, but the word is forgiveness.\u201d\u00a0 I learned, at age 17, when I finally came to America\u2014a young man, filled with hurt and rage.\u00a0 One speaker, at a camp in Colorado, said, \u201cSome of you have been really, really hurt by people; and they\u2019ve never said they\u2019re sorry.\u00a0 You are carrying around that hurt.\u00a0 Let me tell you something.\u00a0 They may not even remember it.\u00a0 The only person paying the price is you.\u00a0 Unless you forgive them, they will always be living, rent-free, in your life.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt age 17, this is just seven years after I\u2019d been so hurt by the candle, I said, \u201cAlright, you people.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re not sorry.\u00a0 I know you don\u2019t care.\u00a0 I know you will never apologize, so I choose to forgive you.\u00a0 Now, get out.\u00a0 Get out of my heart.\u00a0 Get out of my mind.\u00a0 You get out of my life.\u00a0 You stole my childhood.\u00a0 I will not give you the rest of my life.\u00a0 I forgive you.\u00a0 Now get out.\u201d\u00a0 Pretty crude; pretty angry forgiveness\u2014but it was the best I could do at the time.\u00a0 The Spirit of God really used that to start bringing healing.\u00a0 Now, I know that forgiving is the hardest thing in the world.\u00a0 Sometimes it\u2019s more painful and difficult to do than the original thing that needs to be forgiven.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean that you will forget.\u00a0 We say, \u201cForgive and forget.\u201d\u00a0 Well, those are nice words; but when you\u2019re really hurt, it doesn\u2019t work like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ll never forget what happened to you in Africa.\u00a0 You can\u2019t forget that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ll tell you what I know.\u00a0 I know that you will never forget what you will not forgive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean you have to bring that person back in and risk being hurt by them again; but it does mean you\u2019ve got to unclench your fist and give up your right to revenge.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wess, I\u2019ll tell you a little story along those lines.\u00a0 I wrote a book, a number of years ago, called <em>The Tribute<\/em>.\u00a0 A lot of people really got angry at me for writing that book and got angry at the book.\u00a0 They\u2019d throw the book across the room.\u00a0 Some pitched it in the trash because they\u2019d been hurt profoundly by a parent, or by their parents, and didn\u2019t want to do what you\u2019re talking about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut to a number of people\u2014they had that same kind of emotional reaction you did, where they were angry, and filed with rage, and resentment; but they did the hard work of going back to the fifth commandment and realizing that you can\u2019t honor someone that you want to murder.\u00a0 You can\u2019t honor someone that you won\u2019t forgive.\u00a0 They did the hard work of moving all the way to honor.\u00a0 To get to honor, you have to go through forgiveness to get there.\u00a0 One of the most oft-repeated phrases in the letters that have been written over the years was, \u201cI thought it was my parents who were in prison; but as I moved toward honor, I realized I was the one who was in prison by my resentment. As I forgave my parents and honored them, I actually had the picture of letting myself out and becoming free.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s what forgiveness ultimately does.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t perhaps happen instantly, like flipping a switch.\u00a0 It may have to happen over a period of time; but, in reality, the process of forgiveness, as Bob said, \u201cYou give up the right to punish, and then you replace it with something positive\u2014not honoring them for what they did wrong\u2014but honoring them because they are your parents.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Wess:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or respecting another human being because they are a human being.\u00a0 I want to reemphasize what you said.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean you go back and reestablish the relationship, and let them do you more damage, and more harm.\u00a0 I think what you\u2019re talking about here\u2014there is a lot of good things we can take from this broadcast in terms of realizing children need to be respected, believed in, encouraged\u2014but children can also be harmed by us, as adults.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, moms and dads can walk away, knowing the things you say today will mark your child.\u00a0 In fact, just last night I was with some folks at church; and we were talking about parenting and talking about how often we tend to be directive and critical with our children.\u00a0 \u201cYou need to do this.\u00a0 Have you done your homework?\u00a0 Have you cleaned up your room?\u00a0 Are you taking care of everything?\u201d\u00a0 How infrequently we\u2019re saying, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m proud of you.\u00a0 You did a great job here.\u00a0 You\u2019re a fine young man.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJust those moments\u2014just those things that, Wess, you\u2019ve made habit of doing in your own life\u2014and now, you\u2019re encouraging all of us to do in your new book, <em>Just a Minute<\/em>.\u00a0 Those kinds of statements can have a profound impact in the heart and in the soul of a child.\u00a0 I want to encourage listeners to get a copy of Wess\u2019s book and then start to put into practice, what you have been doing and what you\u2019ve seen others do, in the lives of children around them\u2014what we all need to be doing\u2014speaking words of affirmation.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking of Sam Crabtree, who was on our program not long ago, Dennis.\u00a0 He wrote a book called <em>Practicing Affirmation<\/em>.\u00a0 That is something we need to be doing with one another, but particularly with children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about Wess Stafford\u2019s book, <em>Just a Minute<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, the website is FailyLifeToday.com; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like more information about the ministry of Compassion International\u2014it is a great organization, doing a great work.\u00a0 If you\u2019d like to find out more about child sponsorship, there\u2019s\u00a0 a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com that will take you right where you need to go and get you the information you need.\u00a0 Again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; click on the link for Compassion International to find out more about how you can have an impact in the life of a child who is in need, somewhere in the world.\u00a0 Again, our website is FailyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also call for more information about Wess\u2019s book.\u00a0 Our toll free number is 1-800-\u201cF\u2019 as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in the life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, I wish our listeners had an opportunity to read some of the emails we get here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 In fact, I read one just this morning that said, \u201cThank you.\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 Praise God. Thanking you for your broadcast today.\u00a0 It was beautiful.\u00a0 In fact, it\u2019s the first time I\u2019ve heard that God loves wives and that they have worth.\u201d\u00a0 Now, you stop and think about that.\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty significant.\u00a0 That can be one of those things that changes the direction of somebody\u2019s life.\u00a0 Those of you who help support <em>FamilyLife Today\u2014<\/em>you\u2019re the ones who make that kind of ministry in someone\u2019s life possible.\u00a0 We appreciate your financial support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, this month, we are hoping that one listener in each of the cities, where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard, would consider becoming a Legacy Partner.\u00a0 That\u2019s somebody who helps support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on a monthly basis.\u00a0 We\u2019re heard in about 1,100 cities; and actually, our goal is about 1,500 new Legacy Partners this month.\u00a0 There\u2019s a thermometer on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com if you want to see how we\u2019re doing toward that goal.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019d like to ask you, \u201cWould you consider being one of those families that makes this kind of ministry in people\u2019s lives possible?\u00a0 Would you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u2018Become a Legacy Partner\u2019?\u201d\u00a0 Find out what\u2019s involved.\u00a0 When you sign on as a new Legacy Partner, we\u2019ll send you a welcome kit.\u00a0 Then, each month, we\u2019ll make available resources to help strength your marriage and your family.\u00a0 Again, find the information at FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number,\u00a0 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Ask about becoming a Legacy Partner.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who are Legacy Partners, who\u2019ve already joined the team; and we want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance to those of you who say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We\u2019ll be the family in our city that steps forward to help you reach the goal of 1,500 new Legacy Partners.\u201d\u00a0 We hope to hear from you and want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance, for your support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>And we want to encourage you to be back with us, again, tomorrow.\u00a0 Wess Stafford is going to join us again.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about how we can love and bless children.\u00a0 Hope you can be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302478","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302478"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302478"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302478"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302478"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}