{"id":302477,"date":"2012-03-09T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-03-09T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/own-your-faith\/"},"modified":"2012-03-09T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-03-09T17:00:00","slug":"own-your-faith","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/own-your-faith\/","title":{"rendered":"Own Your Faith"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Will college wreck your faith?  For many it does, but it doesn&#8217;t have to.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-09.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.26M","filesize_raw":"25438977","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2856,2822,2855],"tags":[4705],"podcast_series":[7862],"cwp_profile":[8879],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302477","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adult-children","category-growing-in-your-faith","category-teens","tag-college","podcast_series-college-life-101","cwp_profile-ben-burns","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302477\/own-your-faith","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302477\/own-your-faith","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"5Gza0VoXvA\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/own-your-faith\/\">Own Your Faith<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/own-your-faith\/embed\/#?secret=5Gza0VoXvA\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Own Your Faith&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"5Gza0VoXvA\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Will college wreck your faith? For many it does, but it doesn't have to.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-03-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your son or daughter is not really ready for college until he or she is ready to disagree, respectfully, with an authority figure.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Ben Burns.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 The journey that they are on after high school is identifying and having a sense of their own authority.\u00a0 Going back to Ephesians, Chapter 4, Paul says, \u201cI want you all to grow up and become mature in the faith.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat means, as an 18-year-old, you need to be able to have the authority, within yourself, to say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Even though you are 55, and you\u2019ve written 12 books on this, I disagree with you.\u201d\u2014to know that they have the freedom to not feel cow-towed in their spirits, so to speak, to have to buy everything\u2014but to learn how to develop critical thinking\u2014learn how to say, \u201cI disagree with you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, March 9<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about how you can get your son or daughter ready for college by developing critical thinking skills and teaching them to stand up for what they believe in.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You\u2019ve had six sons and daughters who have had a variety of college experiences; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about that.<strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I have four who have made it into, or through college, and a fifth one who is headed in that direction.\u00a0 If you were looking back on your six, did any of them have an A-plus college experience?\u00a0 I mean, where you\u2019d look at their whole experience over four years and go, \u201cBoy, that could not have gone better!\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a good question.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know that I would say any of them had an A-plus\u2014it was a bit of a roller coaster ride; and there were moments, tests, and challenges.\u00a0 I think the question is, \u201cWas it an A-plus experience for them or their parents?\u201d\u00a0 I think that\u2019s\u2014(Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Were there any you\u2019d say C-minus, D-plus?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 No, they\u2014really college didn\u2019t get any of our kids\u2019 faith\u2014at least that I know of.\u00a0 Again, there were those moments, because they are going to classes, where some of the professors are attempting to undermine the Christian faith on purpose; but I wouldn\u2019t say any of them had what I would say a D or a C-minus experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, there are parents who would say, \u201cBoy, if we could reel it back and start it over again, or head in a different direction, we\u2019d do it because our kids wound up shipwrecked spiritually or shipwrecked in life because of their college experience.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have a coach with us here in the studio, Ben Burns, who join us again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Coach Burns!\u00a0 Coach Burns is in the studio!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re going to turn him into the coach of parents today and coach you about how to prepare your sons and your daughters to go away to college.\u00a0 Ben, you\u2019ve been working with college students, now, for more than 25 years.\u00a0 You and your wife, Janet, speak at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways.\u00a0 You see a lot taking place today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are tons of kids who go away to college and have that D-plus experience Bob\u2019s talking about.\u00a0 Some of them get an F.\u00a0 They completely bag their faith and give up on the Christian life.\u00a0 We talked earlier about how friends really destroy their faith, or peer pressure can lead them in the wrong direction.\u00a0 What are a couple of other ways, that are pressures they\u2019re going to experience in college, that parents ought to be aware of?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting when you think about the transition that they have to make.\u00a0 If you were to look at what goes on in a young person\u2019s life, when they leave high school and go off to college, you can almost see this strategy that Satan uses.\u00a0 What\u2019s amazing is how simple and\u2014if I can say\u2014even beautiful it is\u2014where he takes somebody, who is headed to find Christian context, and takes them out of that context\u2014has no support, whatsoever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, when they start to dabble with sin, or experience sin they\u2019ve been struggling with, and have no community to help them, or they\u2019ve lost track of their consistent walk with the Lord, they start going down this path of being around the wrong people, making the wrong choices\u2014the shame, the guilt that starts to build up in their heart.\u00a0 So, come by Thanksgiving time or Christmas, the last place they want to be is around some bright, smiley Christians.\u00a0 They go underground for a period of time until God graciously wakes them up to say, \u201cYou are forgiven.\u00a0 You are a part of the Kingdom.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of the thing that parents can do is to help the students understand the importance\u2014like we\u2019ve talked about\u2014of getting involved in a community.\u00a0 Second of all, is understand areas where they might be tempted and help them to start thinking about, \u201cWhat does the Bible say about these things?\u00a0 What are God\u2019s values in these areas?\u201d, and, \u201cWhat do <em>you<\/em> think about them?\u00a0 How are <em>you<\/em> processing them?\u00a0 What do you think the Bible is telling <em>you<\/em> about how you want to live your life when you go off to college?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You are actually preparing your son or your daughter for guerilla warfare on the college campus, spiritually-speaking\u2014isn\u2019t that true?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think so.\u00a0 The warfare, oftentimes, though, is really from within us\u2014the temptations, the loneliness, the freedom, the stress\u2014all those things that fuel these temptations to be involved in pleasure-seeking activity or being around people\u2014\u201cI want to blow everything off.\u201d\u00a0 Yes, it is a guerilla warfare.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s not just in the social arena where their invited to parties or\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they\u2019re hanging around with the right groups but heading off to class.\u00a0 I remember my genetics professor in college.\u00a0 I had to take six hours of science in order to graduate.\u00a0 I was not a science guy.\u00a0 So, I picked two classes that were like the easiest science-qualifying classes.\u00a0 One was linguistics\u2014I got science credit for linguistics.\u00a0 The other was \u201cGenetics and Man\u201d.\u00a0 My genetics professor did not have much use for Christianity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember one day, where he was talking about blood.\u00a0 He was talking about DNA and how characteristics, traits, are transmitted through genes\u2014through genetics.\u00a0 I remember raising my hand; and I was saying, \u201cWe know what makes up blood; right?\u00a0 Chemically, we can figure that out; right?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cHow come we can\u2019t make it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, in my mind, what I was trying to say was, \u201cOnly God can make life.\u00a0 Life is in blood.\u00a0 We can\u2019t make life.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWe\u2019re very close.\u00a0 We\u2019re very close to being able.\u201d\u00a0 His worldview was a worldview that was not oriented around God or the Scriptures.\u00a0 In fact, if that\u2019s where you were coming from, he didn\u2019t think much of you.\u00a0 There are a lot of kids facing that, as they head in the classroom.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, there are.\u00a0 I think the biggest issue they face is the value of the Bible, the nature of the Bible, because there are a lot of topics out there that they are going to hear on the college campus.\u00a0 The one that\u2019s going to be very consistent\u2014the one consistent argument that they hear is, \u201cThe Bible is not reliable.\u00a0 It\u2019s not trustworthy.\u00a0 It\u2019s not historically accurate.\u201d\u00a0 One of things that I try to do in talking with students is to help them understand just how much truthfulness, how much information\u2014just to understand how much historical fact and reasons to believe in the Bible we have as Christians.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere were students that were involved in our ministry at Lewis &amp; Clark College, here in the Portland area; and they would take this class every year, thinking it\u2019s an easy Bible credit, which is basically about the Bible.\u00a0 It was not.\u00a0 They heard things they had never heard in a youth group.\u00a0 They heard all kinds of historical, critical methods on the Bible.\u00a0 They heard about Moses not writing the first five books.\u00a0 They heard all the critical things about the Bible.\u00a0 They had never been told about that coming up, going to college; and they didn\u2019t have a way to unpack that until we could really sit down and unpack that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you take the Bible away from a Christian, there is not a whole lot they can stand on.\u00a0 They might have a philosophical argument about something to defend their professor.\u00a0 So, our students are getting attacked; but what\u2019s really getting attacked is the foundation of their faith, the Bible.\u00a0 What\u2019s even interesting is that somehow some of that is even seeping into some of our Christian, liberal arts schools.\u00a0 Parents, oftentimes, can think, \u201cOh, my kid is going to a Christian school.\u00a0 They\u2019re safe.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know a friend who was applying to work at a very popular Christian college, I won\u2019t name.\u00a0 They had said that he came from a background where there was belief in the inerrancy of Scripture.\u00a0 They told him, \u201cWell, we appreciate your application, but we already have one \u2018inerrantist\u2019 on our staff.\u00a0 We want to provide a variety of views because it\u2019s a Christian, liberal arts.\u201d\u00a0 They are going to provide a range of views, even on the Bible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of parents don\u2019t even understand that, and that\u2019s why understanding the foundation of our faith is so important.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You actually talk about this in a workbook in a DVD series you\u2019ve created for parents to take their son or daughter through, who are graduating from high school.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>College Life 101<\/em>.\u00a0 You go through, actually, where the ancient manuscripts came from and the percentage error that is likely found in those manuscripts, moving forward.\u00a0 It really is miniscule, and you give the college student some ammo to base his faith on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>One thing that students don\u2019t understand\u2014when you get into this discussion about the Bible, it can get very complex.\u00a0 The average youth pastor just doesn\u2019t have the time and sometimes even the training to get into the complexity of that argument.\u00a0 What I like to help students understand is a little bit more about how the Bible\u2019s been put together, like you said.\u00a0 All the copies that we have are 99.5 percent saying the exact same thing.\u00a0 The small amount of errors, so to speak, that exist are in the copies.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI try to help these students understand the distinction so when they hear from a professor, \u201cThe Bible has all these errors in it.\u201d\u00a0 No, the errors are in the copies.\u00a0 I try to help them understand that our Christian scholars have understood the process of what\u2019s called textual criticism to say that all these errors erase themselves when you look at all the manuscript evidence we have.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The hard thing is some of these professors are really likeable guys.\u00a0 They are winsome, they\u2019re charming\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they\u2019re good communicators, and they\u2019re really smart.\u00a0 They can\u2014you raise your hand as a college student and say, \u201cWell\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cBut, sir?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s the case.\u201d\u00a0 They dazzle you with all kinds of language you\u2019ve never heard before; and a freshman walks out of that class and goes, \u201cWell, he seems like he knows what he\u2019s talking about.\u00a0 He\u2019s smarter than my dad or my youth pastor.\u201d\u00a0 They wind up with a crisis of faith.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob, I\u2019m glad you mentioned that because the thing that I try to communicate to students\u2014the journey that they are on after high school is identifying and having a sense of their own authority.\u00a0 Going back to Ephesians, Chapter 4, Paul says, \u201cI want you all to grow up and become mature in the faith.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat means, as an 18-year-old, you need to be able to have the authority, within yourself, to say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Even though you are 55, and you\u2019ve written 12 books on this, I disagree with you.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 To know that maybe their argument isn\u2019t as complex as the professor\u2019s, yet; but they have the freedom to not feel cow-towed in their spirits, so to speak, to have to buy everything\u2014but to learn how to develop critical thinking\u2014learn how to say, \u201cI disagree with you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, a parent, who is taking his son or daughter through <em>College Life 101<\/em>, he\u2019s going to get equipped\u2014your son or daughter is going to get equipped with the foundation of the Scripture\u2014that it really is a defensible, not error-free\u2014but that the errors, that are in the copies, don\u2019t really affect the major teachings of the Bible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 We take a look at the modern argument.\u00a0 We unpack, \u201cWhat is the modern argument against the Bible?\u201d\u2014show how those arguments are really lacking\u2014and understand that when you look at how all these manuscripts are compared, you see that we have a text that\u2019s 100 percent reliable because whatever errors exist in those copies are cancelled out by cross-checking them with other manuscripts.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to bring up a different subject, one that you address in <em>College Life 101<\/em>, that I thought was really interesting.\u00a0 College can be a fun time for a lot of young people.\u00a0 It can be just a great experience, but it can also be some of the most stressful time they have experienced, to date, in life.\u00a0 I mean, finals week in high school is nothing compared to some of the stresses they\u2019re going to face in college.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are three overwhelming feelings that students experience when they go off to college that they are not ready for.\u00a0 One is the extreme loneliness that they face but, also, that stress.\u00a0 Now, they have 3,000 pages to read by Wednesday.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been goofing around all weekend, playing Xbox<em>\u00ae;<\/em> and now, they feel this tremendous amount of stress.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing is\u2014the way God has made us, as people, is\u2014we\u2019re finite.\u00a0 We have a limited amount of stress we can take.\u00a0 Once you get to that level stress and feeling <em>bad<\/em>, all you want to do is feel <em>good<\/em>.\u00a0 There are all kind of opportunities for college kids to blow off steam, to do something pleasurable that is oftentimes sinful or disagrees with their faith.\u00a0 That whole stress-release cycle starts to get kids on a path of not dealing with their stress properly and involves a more sinful choice.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s what\u2019s opening the door to binge drinking, or to underage drinking, or to drug use\u2014those kinds of things?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Two very common and powerful temptations that college students face are still in the realms of sexual experience and partying\u2014alcohol, drugs.\u00a0 That\u2019s what college kids do on campus to blow off that stress\u2014to relieve all the pressure of college life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u00a0There are parents listening, right now, scared to death of letting their kids go off to college.\u00a0 What would you say to them?\u2014not only just to comfort them but to say, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Seize the day and prepare your children for what they are going to face.\u201d\u00a0 Again, you can\u2019t make these decisions for them, but you can prepare them.\u00a0 What should they do?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 They should start having more and more conversations.\u00a0 They should start asking their children what <em>they<\/em> think about this topic, especially along the senior year.\u00a0 If parents are still trying to cram content and conviction into kids\u2019 heads, kids are at the stage where they are just going to start reflecting it.\u00a0 The journey that they are on is that they have to own this.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>One of the things parents can do is just try to have some open-ended conversations, \u201cWhat do you think about this?\u00a0 What do your friends think about this?\u00a0 Do you know kids in your school who are sexually-active?\u00a0 What do you think about this?\u201d\u00a0 One of the things that I like to suggest\u2014that I\u2019d love your feedback on\u2014is that when you ask your kids those questions, is to let it lie on the table for awhile.\u00a0 Oftentimes, what parents can do is\u2014they\u2019ll hear the wrong answer from their kids and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014freak out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\u2014then, immediately\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Freak out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they freak out, or they immediately go to correct their kids\u2019 thoughts.\u00a0 Well, the thing is the kid is thinking out loud.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to give the student, the child, the opportunity to <em>try on<\/em> their faith, to <em>try on<\/em> what they are thinking.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I will tell parents, when I speak with them, is that, \u201cYou try to just listen for the first 24 hours.\u00a0 Say nothing and respect them by listening and not debating, not getting into a fight.\u00a0 Then, after 24 hours, say something like, \u2018You know, I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about what you\u2019ve said.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 What it does is shows tremendous respect to the child\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\u00a0 It does. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and gives them an opportunity to say, \u201cI respect you.\u00a0 I know you\u2019re trying to figure this out.\u00a0 I can see why you\u2019d say this, this, and that; but have you thought about this maybe?\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s just a different way of helping them think out loud.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have to say that was one of the most difficult things, as a parent, were those 24 hours.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t do a very good job of that.\u00a0 My kids referred to me as the \u201cTeaching Daddy\u201d.\u00a0 I was the instructor!\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re going to hear it.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to hear it straight and going to interact.\u201d\u00a0 It is difficult to hear a wrong answer\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and not correct it because what have we been doing for 16, 17, years with them?\u2014you have been correcting.\u00a0 That is a part of what parenting is all about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Earlier this spring, I said to my son, who is about to head off to college\u2014I said, \u201cI\u2019ve got something I\u2019d like for us to do over the next few months.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI\u2019d like for you to get three or four of your friends, and we\u2019ll invite them over to the house.\u00a0 They can bring their dads or their moms along with them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cI\u2019ll stop by and get a bunch of buffalo wings and bring them home.\u00a0 We\u2019ll all eat buffalo wings, and I want to go through a series like <em>CollegeReady<\/em>\u00ae\u201d\u2014the one that FamilyLife put together or like, \u201c<em>College Life 101\u201d\u2014<\/em>that you\u2019ve put together\u2014\u201cwatch these DVD\u2019s, go through the workbook with you, with your friends, and with their parents, and just go through it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI knew what my son\u2019s reaction to this was going to be.\u00a0 It was kind of like the rolling of the eyes, the deep breath.\u00a0 I understand he\u2019s concerned\u2014\u201cThis puts my reputation on the line with my friends that my dad is making us go through some cheesy thing that\u2019s going to be boring, or irrelevant, or preachy, or whatever else that\u201d\u2014he\u2019s really not all that excited about going through it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the same time, my son who is a good, fine young man, also understood that part of my responsibility, as a dad, is to help guide him in this direction.\u00a0 So, he said, \u201cWell, okay.\u00a0 Let me think about that for a couple of days.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cYes, alright; that\u2019s fine.\u00a0 You take a few minutes to think about it and figure out what friends you\u2019d like to get together, but I think this would be good for us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think that kind of pro-activity for a mom or a dad\u2014that kind of intentionality\u2014you know Dennis has the nickname, \u201cMr. Intentional\u201d\u2014that kind of intentionality is a part of what our assignment is as moms and dads.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is; and what I want you to do, Ben, is just coach the mom or dad, right now, who wants to take their son or daughter through this\u2014maybe with some other kids as well.\u00a0 How would you set this up?\u00a0 How would you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Is there a way to get your kid not to roll his eyes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014when you bring this\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Can you guarantee that?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I hope that the humor that I have in there will make it a little more inviting to come back to.\u00a0 I\u2019ve heard some good reports that it has a way of holding kids\u2019 attention; but it\u2019s still\u2014sitting down and watching something is like, (With a student\u2019s voice) \u201cLike really, do I have to do this? Dad!\u00a0 Come on!\u00a0 I don\u2019t believe it.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I would say, as a parent\u2014is to say, \u201cHey, I would love for us to look at this, and I\u2019d love to hear your feedback.\u00a0 Even if your feedback is critical, or you think it\u2019s dorky, that\u2019s okay; I\u2019d love to hear it.\u201d\u00a0 I think sometimes what a parent can do is feel so invested in the material; or, \u201cWe\u2019ve invested in this material, and you better like it\u201d; or if you say something that you don\u2019t like about it, then, the parent starts to feel defensive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I would say is, \u201cLet your kid evaluate it.\u201d\u00a0 Say, \u201cHey, I\u2019d love for us to go through this whole thing.\u00a0 I\u2019d love to hear your honest comments.\u00a0 What did you like?\u00a0 What did you not like?\u201d\u2014maybe even join in with the student once in awhile if they go, \u201cOh, gosh!\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe; that\u2019s dorky.\u201d\u00a0 You go, \u201cYes.\u00a0 That was a little dorky; wasn\u2019t it?\u201d\u00a0 Try to <em>identify<\/em> with them instead of fighting them as you go through something like this.\u00a0 Again, they\u2019re at this stage where they need to keep learning how to distinguish what they are about.\u00a0 Part of that means saying, \u201cI don\u2019t like that.\u201d\u00a0 Don\u2019t get defensive.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Don\u2019t take it personally if they roll their eyes like Bob was talking about.\u00a0 You don\u2019t know what they\u2019re hearing and what they\u2019re really absorbing.\u00a0 One time, I had one of our kids\u2014there had been a guest here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and it was really a good topic and\u2014I\u2019ll not mention what it was\u2014just wanted my child to hear it.\u00a0 I took it home, and we popped it in, and had an evening where we listened to the broadcast.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget.\u00a0 We were in this room, in our home; and my child\u2019s head was completely laid back\u2014all the way on the couch\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014completely listening.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Oh, eyes closed\u2014was not going to give me any pleasure of thinking that the child was listening.\u00a0 I just kind of said, \u201cWell, chalk that up to experience.\u00a0 That didn\u2019t work.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTwo months later, we\u2019re in a conversation where this child is talking to some peers.\u00a0 This child quotes what the child had heard.\u00a0 I\u2019ve done a great job protecting the sex of the child here, but what you have to do is become the conduit to drive this truth into the child\u2019s heart.\u00a0 I want to underscore what you said, Ben.\u00a0 Your son or daughter has to decide that, \u201cYes, it is game time; and yes, I\u2019m going to own it.\u00a0 Yes, this is my conviction.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI guess, I\u2019ll kind of turn to the parents at this point and say, \u201cHow did you get your convictions?\u201d\u2014by making a lot of mistakes; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That\u2019s how I got my convictions.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to absorb a few bumps in the road with your child, and allow them to fail, and keep coaching them, and keep encouraging them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBen, I\u2019m just thrilled you\u2019ve created this tool, <em>College Life 101<\/em>.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s going to be used by a lot of parents, and thrilled to have you on the broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Ben:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, thanks for letting me be here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Well, I\u2019ll tell you what you could do, as a parent.\u00a0 You can go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a couple of video clips there\u2014one from the<em>College Life 101<\/em> series that Ben has put together.\u00a0 There is another clip from the <em>CollegeReady\u00ae<\/em> material that FamilyLife has put together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou and your son or daughter watch both clips.\u00a0 Then, you say to your son or daughter, \u201cWhich one of those two series do you think you\u2019d prefer to go through together\u2014you and me, or you and me and some of your friends?\u00a0 We\u2019ll get everybody together and make grilled cheese sandwiches.\u00a0 Then, we\u2019ll watch one of the sessions and get back together in a couple of weeks.\u00a0 This time we\u2019ll have hamburgers, and we\u2019ll watch session two.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is, \u201cBe intentional about this with your son or daughter.\u201d\u00a0 Both of these resources are good resources.\u00a0 You just need to pick the one that you think is right for you and your son or daughter; or let your son or daughter be the one who picks it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the <em>College Life 101<\/em> series that Ben has put together, the <em>CollegeReady<\/em> series that <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> has put together.\u00a0 Order the series that you want, and we\u2019ll send it out to you.\u00a0 If you know which one you want or if you\u2019ve got some questions, call 1-800-FL-TODAY to place an order\u20141-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, we\u2019ll make arrangements to have the series you want sent out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a listener-supported program.\u00a0 I think many of you have heard us mention that from time to time.\u00a0 What that means is that folks, like you, who listen help us cover the cost of producing and syndicating this program by making donations from time to time or by making a donation every month as a Legacy Partner.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>This month, the month of March, we are asking <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners to consider becoming a Legacy Partner.\u00a0 In fact, we are hoping that we can get one new Legacy Partner in each city where <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is heard.\u00a0 Actually, it is a little bit more than that.\u00a0 We\u2019re heard in about 1,100 cities all across the country, and we\u2019re hoping to recruit 1,500 new Legacy Partners this month.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>If you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, you can see a thermometer there that will let you know how we\u2019re doing toward that goal of recruiting new Legacy Partners.\u00a0 We\u2019re just asking if you would prayerfully consider being that family in your community that steps forward and says, \u201cYes, we can join that team.\u201d\u00a0 If you do that, we\u2019ve got a welcome kit we\u2019ll send out to you with a couple of travel mugs and a CD that Dennis and I recorded, exclusively for Legacy Partners.\u00a0 Throughout the year, we will send additional resources, designed to help strengthen your marriage and your family.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that says, \u201cBecome a Legacy Partner\u201d, to find out more or to sign up as a new Legacy Partner; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 We can answer any questions you have or welcome you to the Legacy Partner family over the phone.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 I just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance to those of you who do help support the ministry and, particularly, to those of you who become new Legacy Partners.\u00a0 We\u2019re glad to have you on the team.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\u00a0 Wess Stafford is going to be here.\u00a0 He is the President of Compassion International\u00ae.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about the profound and powerful impact you can have in the life of a child, simply by taking a minute and saying something.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that Monday.\u00a0 Hope you can be with us for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302477","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302477"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302477"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302477"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302477"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302477"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302477"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302477"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}