{"id":302462,"date":"2012-02-16T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-16T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/finding-forgiveness-and-restoration\/"},"modified":"2012-02-16T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-02-16T17:00:00","slug":"finding-forgiveness-and-restoration","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-forgiveness-and-restoration\/","title":{"rendered":"Finding Forgiveness and Restoration"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>By day he was a music minister, but away from church he immersed himself in porn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-16.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.53M","filesize_raw":"24675516","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2903,2844],"tags":[5193,2989,4390],"podcast_series":[7858],"cwp_profile":[9261],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302462","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-infidelity","category-pornography","tag-healing-your-marriage","tag-pornography","tag-trust","podcast_series-healing-your-marriage-when-trust-is-broken","cwp_profile-chris-and-cindy-beall","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302462\/finding-forgiveness-and-restoration","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302462\/finding-forgiveness-and-restoration","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"kK1TEYJhKz\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-forgiveness-and-restoration\/\">Finding Forgiveness and Restoration<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/finding-forgiveness-and-restoration\/embed\/#?secret=kK1TEYJhKz\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Finding Forgiveness and Restoration&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"kK1TEYJhKz\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-16.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-16.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chris Beall had cultivated a pattern in his life, beginning at age eight, looking at pornography in magazines\u2014later, on the internet.\u00a0 His descent down the slippery slope continued as he began interacting with people online.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 The first day, I chatted with a girl; and we agreed to meet at her house.\u00a0 I went there, and I crossed the unthinkable line.\u00a0 Then, over the course of the next two years or so, maybe once a month, I would find myself stressed, bored, weak\u2014spiritually; and I\u2019d just given myself to it.\u00a0 Cindy had no idea.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, February 16<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Chris and Cindy Beall join us today to talk about the pattern of sin in Chris\u2019s life that would eventually cost him his job and almost cost him his marriage.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to visit one of the darkest moments in a marriage today\u2014one of those moments that every couple hopes will never happen.\u00a0 If it happens, when it happens, you better be prepared to know how you\u2019re going to respond to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Most of us know about forgiveness and about restoration, but we\u2019re about to hear a story that is really a compelling story of how\u2014well, it\u2019s all about the cross of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 It\u2019s why He went to the cross.\u00a0 He died for our sins, our mistakes, our failures that occur because we\u2019re alienated from God; and He gives us the ability, when He forgives us, to forgive another broken person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChris and Cindy Beall join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Cindy, Chris, welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Cindy has written a book called <em>Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s subtitled <em>Finding Forgiveness and Restoration<\/em>.\u00a0 They\u2019re in ministry in a church in Oklahoma City.\u00a0 It\u2019s called LifeChurch.tv.\u00a0 They have three sons.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCindy tells this story that, as we heard earlier, really goes back to you, Chris\u2014getting hooked on pornography because you were exposed to it as an eight-year-old boy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As we mentioned earlier, that is the average age today when our sons are being exposed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was no indication, in the early years of your marriage, Cindy.\u00a0 I asked you if you had any hint that this was a part of Chris\u2019s life before you got married.\u00a0 After you got married, anything that popped up that should have been a warning sign to you, looking back?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I remember this story that he told me about finding a magazine propped open when he was getting out of his car one day, at the school parking lot, when he was finishing his degree.\u00a0 He literally shut the door and went the other way.\u00a0 He came home and told me that.\u00a0 I think that was the first time I really realized it might have been an issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cOh, my husband is so godly.\u00a0 He\u2019s opening up to me.\u00a0 He\u2019s sharing with me his struggles.\u201d\u00a0 Then, I do remember as the internet became popular, we\u2014it wasn\u2019t around when we first got married.\u00a0 So, when it became popular, I do remember a couple of times walking in and seeing something on the screen, and he couldn\u2019t click off the internet fast enough.\u00a0 There were definitely some things that happened in the course.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you confront him, at that point, when you saw that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOh, I don\u2019t know how that got on my screen.\u201d\u00a0 He became a really good liar.\u00a0 I believed him because, \u201cHe is my husband, and I should believe him.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what I was thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think you wanted\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I wanted to believe him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to believe that there wasn\u2019t an issue there.\u00a0 I think one of the things that we have to be really aware of with guys or girls that struggle with the issue of pornography is that\u2014A: Deception\u2019s going to be a part of the deal because it\u2019s not really the most socially-acceptable table conversation.\u00a0 There is going to be some level of lying to cover things up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing is\u2014there\u2019s telling of partial truths as a smoke screen.\u00a0 I had accountability partners the entire time that we were married, and I was struggling who I would tell 40 percent of the truth to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you\u2019d tell them for example, \u201cI saw something online the other day\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI saw something on TV.\u00a0 Then, got my mind going and I went online; but then, I stopped.\u201d\u00a0 The reality was I spent five hours online, binging on images.\u00a0 It would be a portion of the truth as kind of a smoke screen of, \u201cWow, look how honest Chris is;\u201d so, they don\u2019t dig any deeper.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just got to stop\u2014five hours?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sometimes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How often?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 The early part of our marriage it was probably, maybe, once every week to ten days, when Cindy wasn\u2019t home.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t like every day.\u00a0 It really didn\u2019t get really, really, really bad until about 13 years ago or so.\u00a0 We had moved to Memphis to help plant a church, and\u2014again, that\u2019s the other kind of crazy thing is\u2014I\u2019m in full-time ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019d been to seminary?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, no\u2014started master\u2019s program\u2014got into ministry quickly and just didn\u2019t do the education thing.\u00a0 We had gone to this church to help start it, and I was a worship leader and youth pastor\u2014crazy busy, genuinely loved it, genuinely felt God called us to lead worship and minister to these students; but I was very good at keeping this little part of my life completely compartmentalized and separate from the rest of my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was there that I really feel like it just got out of control.\u00a0 Every day, oftentimes in my office\u2014it was really bad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you ever pay for it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, never paid for it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 All free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s how accessible it is.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to pay for porn.\u00a0 You can get it <em>free<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There came a point where looking at images was losing its appeal, and you started to take steps beyond that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 There was a day that I stumbled into a chat room and recognized that there were people who live in my town who have the same issues that I have.\u00a0 The idea of somebody that was in my town had an appeal to it.\u00a0 It had an allure to it.\u00a0 Like any addiction, any struggle, it is not going to be static.\u00a0 It will always progress from one thing to another, left unchecked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I would chat with these people for awhile.\u00a0 You\u2019re getting dangerously close\u2014I\u2019m getting dangerously close to crossing <em>the line<\/em>.\u00a0 So, I kind of fought it for awhile.\u00a0 I kind of just\u2014I teased it, but I never really went all the way there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, you\u2019re talking about going and meeting someone?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about going and meeting someone that I\u2019m chatting with.\u00a0 About a year-and-a-half into this kind of struggle where I\u2019ve really\u2014what I\u2019ve done is I\u2019ve just given myself to this sin.\u00a0 I\u2019m not really fighting it anymore.\u00a0 Really, the root of my struggle is that I forgot who I was in Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible says that all of these crazy, irrational things about who we are in the Lord\u2014and when we allow ourselves to wander from the truth of who we are in Christ, then, we are going to look for affirmation from anything or anyone that we can find, even though the affirmation that we\u2019re getting is a counterfeit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether that is an image on a screen, whether it\u2019s somebody you\u2019re chatting with or somebody that you\u2019re in an affair with, it\u2019s not the real thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s not coming from God.\u00a0 Truthfully, it\u2019s going to leave you emptier on the other side; but for whatever reason, it still had that pull.\u00a0 I gave myself to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, here\u2019s the picture: You\u2019re in ministry\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014youth leader, worship leader\u2014daily looking at porn, chatting, flirting\u2014and then, going and leading the youth group that night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and speaking about Christ and the Gospel\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014with passion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was there no voice speaking and saying, \u201cChris\u201d\u2014no conscience speaking to you in this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think there was; but I think I had gotten to the point where\u2014because of my repeated sin and my ritual of, after a sin, I would just go to God in prayer and beg His forgiveness, promise I\u2019d never do that again.\u00a0 There was always that promise that I would never look at that again, I\u2019d never chat with that person again; but intimacy with God was <em>very <\/em>non-existent at that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe constant presence of that disobedience in my lifestyle and in my moral choices created a brick wall between my heart and the heart of God.\u00a0 So, I\u2019m doing ministry out of a manufactured passion, if you will.\u00a0 There is no authenticity there because I\u2019m so\u2014my relationship with God has gotten very, very cold.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned, this ultimately started\u2014this kind of the new intensity\u201413 years ago.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How long before you actually met another woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was about a year-and-a-half.\u00a0 There was a two-and-a-half year period where\u2014the first day, I chatted with a girl; and we agreed to meet at her house.\u00a0 I went there, and the drive home was excruciating\u2014the self-hatred, the guilt, the thought of my wife and my son waiting to give me a kiss when I walked through the door and happy for their husband and father to be home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI could never say, \u201cI kept my vow;\u201d I could never say, \u201cI kept my promise as a husband.\u201d\u00a0 I crossed the unthinkable line with the ritualistic prayer of, \u201cGod, I\u2019ll never do that again.\u00a0 Please forgive me.\u201d\u00a0 Then, over the course of the next two years or so, maybe once a month, I would find myself stressed, bored, weak\u2014spiritually; and it was a rough time.\u00a0 I\u2019d just given myself to it, and Cindy had no idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was going to ask you, Cindy, \u201cReally?\u00a0 No idea?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I knew our marriage was strained.\u00a0 There was definitely a lack in our emotional connection, but <em>that<\/em> going on?\u2014no, no idea.\u00a0 I just remember that\u2014I mean, our son was young; and so, for the first two-and-a-half years of his life, I just remember there was something going on.\u00a0 I just didn\u2019t know what it was.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI spent hours upon hours just praying and saying, \u201cGod, show me what to do.\u00a0 Show me what to do because something is not right.\u201d\u00a0 God would just say, \u201cI need you to trust Me.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, I heard that over, and over, and over again from the Father.\u00a0 \u201cI need you to trust Me.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, \u201cSomething\u2019s got to give.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I would bring anything up, he would get defensive.\u00a0 He would eventually turn it around on me and manipulate the situation.\u00a0 I got to the point where I kind of just threw my hands back and said, \u201cOkay, God, I don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chris, one of these women that you were with became pregnant?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I received a phone call in December.\u00a0 I was shopping\u2014I remember to this day\u2014I was shopping for a Christmas present for Cindy in a department store, and she called me.\u00a0 She said that she was pretty sure she was pregnant; and if she was, she was confident that it was mine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI could almost pallet myself as an adulterer and just kind of live with that guilt; but the idea of being an abandoning father\u2014like the idea that someday an 18-year-old kid is going to come knocking on my door\u2014who, I haven\u2019t been in his life and I have, out of my own convenience, ignored him or run away from the reality of his existence.\u00a0 That idea\u2014I don\u2019t think I could live with.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe moved to Oklahoma; and so, I\u2019ve got this <em>huge<\/em> weight of, \u201cWhat am I going to do?\u201d\u00a0 That was married by what I call an exposure of God.\u00a0 We moved to this new church\u2014<em>amazing<\/em> church, <em>great<\/em> leadership\u2014and I felt completely exposed.\u00a0 The day we drove in\u2014and I would start going to staff meetings and I felt like I was caught, even though nobody knew anything; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a very challenging time for me because I really felt like God was bringing me to a point of getting honest.\u00a0 The one thing that I haven\u2019t done my entire life is to be completely honest.\u00a0 I had never known a day since I was eight years old where I didn\u2019t have a secret.\u00a0 I felt that God was bringing me to this point of confession.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What brought you to the point of telling Cindy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our pastor was leading a staff meeting, and we had only been there for six weeks.\u00a0 We\u2019re still in boxes, just bought a house.\u00a0 I mean, we just got there\u2014didn\u2019t know anyone\u2014and he was talking about a friend of his that had morally fallen, had an affair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCraig made a statement.\u00a0 He said, \u201cYou know what?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cYour sin will find you out.\u00a0 It always will.\u00a0 It\u2019s just a matter of time.\u201d\u00a0 He said that we all struggle with things; and that if you confess\u2014if there\u2019s something you\u2019re dealing with\u2014if you confess it, you\u2019ll find mercy; you\u2019ll find grace.\u00a0 If you hide it and you get caught, it will probably be a different story.\u00a0 That was it.\u00a0 That\u2019s all I could handle.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a Tuesday.\u00a0 I went home, and Cindy was unpacking boxes.\u00a0 I knew that this conversation would probably yield the loss of a marriage, the breaking of a family, and certainly the end of ministry; but I went in and just said, \u201cHoney, we\u2019ve got to talk.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty much all I could take.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As he came in\u2014did you know something was up as soon as he walked in the door?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, he\u2014the door opened, and I thought, \u201cWhat is that?\u201d\u00a0 I came around the corner, and there he is.\u00a0 It was 9:30 in the morning; and he just looked at me and said those words, \u201cWe need to talk.\u201d\u00a0 I knew right then, \u201cOkay, something\u2019s not right.\u201d\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure if someone died or if he\u2019d lost his job, but something was clearly wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we sit down on the sofa; and he proceeds to tell me, \u201cI\u2019ve been unfaithful to you with many women, many different times, many different places over the course of about this two-year period.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cOne of the women is pregnant, and I\u2019m pretty sure that I\u2019m the father.\u201d\u00a0 I went probably into a place of just somewhere in outer space\u2014just like shock\u2014immediate like, \u201cIs this really happening?\u201d\u2014almost out-of-body like experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I just kept looking at him, and he just kept staring at me.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t touch me\u2014I think he was afraid to touch me.\u00a0 He just kept looking at me like, \u201cOkay, what are you going to say next?\u201d\u00a0 I went straight into the pit of despair at that moment; and within a few\u201430 minutes or so\u2014our Pastor Craig and another Pastor Jerry came over.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re sitting across from us, and we\u2019re just kind of all four staring at each other.\u00a0 They\u2019re not really looking at Chris because they\u2019re pretty mad at him at this point.\u00a0 I never went to that anger place at this time.\u00a0 I just thought, \u201cWhat do we do now?\u00a0 What\u2019s the next step?\u201d\u00a0 I lost my father when I was 19.\u00a0 I lost some other close family members in my life.\u00a0 There is nothing that took me to this level of despair like that confession that day.\u00a0 I literally asked God to just take me home.\u00a0 I just wanted to die.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because of the betrayal?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, absolutely, the betrayal, the baby.\u00a0 No one is supposed to be the mother of his children\u2014just me.\u00a0 I\u2019m the mother of his children.\u00a0 Just thinking back, things started to make sense to me; and I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s what it was.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember saying, \u201cGod, You told me to trust You.\u00a0 How in the world is <em>this<\/em> going to show that I can trust You?\u201d\u00a0 That was really the only time I questioned God because I was very aware, even in the midst of that devastation\u2014I was very aware that it wasn\u2019t God Who let me down.\u00a0 It was my husband, and a lot of people blame God.\u00a0 I don\u2019t blame God for those kinds of things.\u00a0 I <em>knew<\/em> it was my husband; but I kept saying, \u201cOkay, God, I don\u2019t understand why wasn\u2019t this revealed somehow sooner before there was a baby?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What saved your life, and your marriage, and your family?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, infidelity is grounds for divorce; but it is also, with the right mindsets and the right willingness to surrender\u2014it is an opportunity for forgiveness and restoration.\u00a0 My encouragement to that woman or to that man, who is about to hear that or just heard it 20 minutes ago or two days ago, is you do not have to decide the rest of your life in the next two days, in the next two weeks.\u00a0 Do not make a rash decision\u2014your emotions are heightened, and you don\u2019t know which way is up and which way is down.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was some advice that was given to me; and so, it gave the Holy Spirit time because I didn\u2019t act on my flesh, which was, \u201cCut bait; hit the road; get out of here.\u201d\u00a0 It gave the Holy Spirit time to massage my heart and say, \u201cI\u2019ve got a plan.\u00a0 Will you let Me work on it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chris, what would you say to the guy who daily\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014is looking online; has his own three-, four-, five-hour binges; hasn\u2019t crossed the line or has crossed the line\u2014gotten together with somebody else\u2014but he goes, \u201cI pray like you do and say, \u2018That\u2019s the last time, and I mean it\u2019\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cand I really think it is.\u00a0 I try hard, but I keep going back there.\u00a0 What can I do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say the first thing to that person is, \u201cGod loves you.\u00a0 God is <em>crazy<\/em> about you.\u201d\u00a0 When we find ourselves in these dark, sinful patterns, we tend to really not like ourselves\u2014we hate ourselves\u2014but we have to remember that God\u2019s love and His mercy through Christ\u2014it supersedes everything.\u00a0 We have to first know that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, the one thing\u2014there\u2019s not a Scripture in the Bible that says, \u201cConfess your sins to God to be healed.\u201d\u00a0 James says, \u201cConfess your sins one to another and pray for each other that you may be healed.\u201d\u00a0 The one thing I was unwilling to do is to tell another human being 100 percent of the truth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying you need to put it on your Facebook\u00ae or tell the whole world; but you need to find one person that you trust, who has your best interests at heart\u2014may not need to be your spouse as the first person, and maybe\u2014I would even say probably not your spouse as the first person\u2014but find somebody that you trust, and tell them \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t100 percent of the truth, and pray.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Eventually, you\u2019ve got to bring your spouse into it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely; absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can\u2019t say, \u201cWell, this is walled off; and she\u2019s not my ally in this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Won\u2019t work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Won\u2019t work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you\u2019re talking, I\u2019m just thinking of Romans 8:1\u2014and it\u2019s going to sound a bit trite, but it is the hope of a situation like this\u2014\u201cThere is, therefore, now, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean there are no consequences\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but we are forgiven.\u00a0 We are loved, as you said.\u00a0 God does pursue us.\u00a0 Ultimately, it was His love, expressed through Cindy to you, that ultimately saw, not only forgiveness occur in your relationship, but also restoration.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A marriage can be healed and trust can be restored, which is ultimately what happened in your marriage.\u00a0 It\u2019s what\u2019s at the heart of the book that you\u2019ve written, Cindy, <em>Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken<\/em>.\u00a0 You have seen how God is using your story to help other couples who have gotten to a similar place in their marriage and are wondering, \u201cHow do we rebuild from the ashes?\u201d\u00a0 It can be done.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of Cindy\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the book, <em>Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us to receive a copy of the book.\u00a0 Our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019ve listened today to Chris and Cindy share their story, Dennis, I was thinking about our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways, where the couples who are on our speaker team will often share from their own stories of challenges they\u2019ve faced in their marriage relationship.\u00a0 There is power when we bring some of these patterns to light and let God work on us in the light, instead of trying to deal with it in the darkness\u2014and let other people get involved in all of this.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the reasons why we try to feature programs like this here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> because we know God uses these programs in folks\u2019 lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I was looking at some of the comments on our website, below the transcripts on FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There is a place where people can leave comments about each day\u2019s program; and God\u2019s using this story, this week, in people\u2019s lives.\u00a0 We are grateful for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who make all of that possible.\u00a0 We\u2019re listener-supported; so, when you help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, you make this program possible on this station, on our network of radio stations, and around the world on the internet.\u00a0 We appreciate that financial support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, this week, if you can make a donation to help support us, we\u2019d like to send you a couple of cards\u2014one for you and one for your spouse\u2014cards that\u2019ll help you pray more effectively for one another on a daily basis.\u00a0 These are just a simple way we can help equip you with the tools and resources that can strengthen your marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 As you fill out the donation form, when you\u2019re all done, the cards will be sent to you automatically.\u00a0 If you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone, just be sure to ask to have the prayer cards sent to you.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to do that; and we so appreciate your financial support of the ministry and your partnership with us here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear how Chris and Cindy Beall\u2019s church got involved in their situation and how God used that to help restore their marriage.\u00a0 I hope you can be here for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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day he was a music minister, but away from church he immersed himself in porn.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chris Beall had cultivated a pattern in his life, beginning at age eight, looking at pornography in magazines\u2014later, on the internet.\u00a0 His descent down the slippery slope continued as he began interacting with people online.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 The first day, I chatted with a girl; and we agreed to meet at her house.\u00a0 I went there, and I crossed the unthinkable line.\u00a0 Then, over the course of the next two years or so, maybe once a month, I would find myself stressed, bored, weak\u2014spiritually; and I\u2019d just given myself to it.\u00a0 Cindy had no idea.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, February 16<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Chris and Cindy Beall join us today to talk about the pattern of sin in Chris\u2019s life that would eventually cost him his job and almost cost him his marriage.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to visit one of the darkest moments in a marriage today\u2014one of those moments that every couple hopes will never happen.\u00a0 If it happens, when it happens, you better be prepared to know how you\u2019re going to respond to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Most of us know about forgiveness and about restoration, but we\u2019re about to hear a story that is really a compelling story of how\u2014well, it\u2019s all about the cross of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 It\u2019s why He went to the cross.\u00a0 He died for our sins, our mistakes, our failures that occur because we\u2019re alienated from God; and He gives us the ability, when He forgives us, to forgive another broken person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChris and Cindy Beall join us again on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Cindy, Chris, welcome back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks for having us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Cindy has written a book called <em>Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken<\/em>.\u00a0 It\u2019s subtitled <em>Finding Forgiveness and Restoration<\/em>.\u00a0 They\u2019re in ministry in a church in Oklahoma City.\u00a0 It\u2019s called LifeChurch.tv.\u00a0 They have three sons.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCindy tells this story that, as we heard earlier, really goes back to you, Chris\u2014getting hooked on pornography because you were exposed to it as an eight-year-old boy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As we mentioned earlier, that is the average age today when our sons are being exposed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There was no indication, in the early years of your marriage, Cindy.\u00a0 I asked you if you had any hint that this was a part of Chris\u2019s life before you got married.\u00a0 After you got married, anything that popped up that should have been a warning sign to you, looking back?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I remember this story that he told me about finding a magazine propped open when he was getting out of his car one day, at the school parking lot, when he was finishing his degree.\u00a0 He literally shut the door and went the other way.\u00a0 He came home and told me that.\u00a0 I think that was the first time I really realized it might have been an issue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cOh, my husband is so godly.\u00a0 He\u2019s opening up to me.\u00a0 He\u2019s sharing with me his struggles.\u201d\u00a0 Then, I do remember as the internet became popular, we\u2014it wasn\u2019t around when we first got married.\u00a0 So, when it became popular, I do remember a couple of times walking in and seeing something on the screen, and he couldn\u2019t click off the internet fast enough.\u00a0 There were definitely some things that happened in the course.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second.\u00a0 Didn\u2019t you confront him, at that point, when you saw that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOh, I don\u2019t know how that got on my screen.\u201d\u00a0 He became a really good liar.\u00a0 I believed him because, \u201cHe is my husband, and I should believe him.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s what I was thinking.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think you wanted\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think I wanted to believe him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014to believe that there wasn\u2019t an issue there.\u00a0 I think one of the things that we have to be really aware of with guys or girls that struggle with the issue of pornography is that\u2014A: Deception\u2019s going to be a part of the deal because it\u2019s not really the most socially-acceptable table conversation.\u00a0 There is going to be some level of lying to cover things up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe other thing is\u2014there\u2019s telling of partial truths as a smoke screen.\u00a0 I had accountability partners the entire time that we were married, and I was struggling who I would tell 40 percent of the truth to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you\u2019d tell them for example, \u201cI saw something online the other day\u201d?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI saw something on TV.\u00a0 Then, got my mind going and I went online; but then, I stopped.\u201d\u00a0 The reality was I spent five hours online, binging on images.\u00a0 It would be a portion of the truth as kind of a smoke screen of, \u201cWow, look how honest Chris is;\u201d so, they don\u2019t dig any deeper.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just got to stop\u2014five hours?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sometimes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How often?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 The early part of our marriage it was probably, maybe, once every week to ten days, when Cindy wasn\u2019t home.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t like every day.\u00a0 It really didn\u2019t get really, really, really bad until about 13 years ago or so.\u00a0 We had moved to Memphis to help plant a church, and\u2014again, that\u2019s the other kind of crazy thing is\u2014I\u2019m in full-time ministry.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019d been to seminary?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, no\u2014started master\u2019s program\u2014got into ministry quickly and just didn\u2019t do the education thing.\u00a0 We had gone to this church to help start it, and I was a worship leader and youth pastor\u2014crazy busy, genuinely loved it, genuinely felt God called us to lead worship and minister to these students; but I was very good at keeping this little part of my life completely compartmentalized and separate from the rest of my life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was there that I really feel like it just got out of control.\u00a0 Every day, oftentimes in my office\u2014it was really bad.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you ever pay for it?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, never paid for it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br><strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 All free.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s how accessible it is.\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to pay for porn.\u00a0 You can get it <em>free<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There came a point where looking at images was losing its appeal, and you started to take steps beyond that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 There was a day that I stumbled into a chat room and recognized that there were people who live in my town who have the same issues that I have.\u00a0 The idea of somebody that was in my town had an appeal to it.\u00a0 It had an allure to it.\u00a0 Like any addiction, any struggle, it is not going to be static.\u00a0 It will always progress from one thing to another, left unchecked.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I would chat with these people for awhile.\u00a0 You\u2019re getting dangerously close\u2014I\u2019m getting dangerously close to crossing <em>the line<\/em>.\u00a0 So, I kind of fought it for awhile.\u00a0 I kind of just\u2014I teased it, but I never really went all the way there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, you\u2019re talking about going and meeting someone?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about going and meeting someone that I\u2019m chatting with.\u00a0 About a year-and-a-half into this kind of struggle where I\u2019ve really\u2014what I\u2019ve done is I\u2019ve just given myself to this sin.\u00a0 I\u2019m not really fighting it anymore.\u00a0 Really, the root of my struggle is that I forgot who I was in Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Bible says that all of these crazy, irrational things about who we are in the Lord\u2014and when we allow ourselves to wander from the truth of who we are in Christ, then, we are going to look for affirmation from anything or anyone that we can find, even though the affirmation that we\u2019re getting is a counterfeit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhether that is an image on a screen, whether it\u2019s somebody you\u2019re chatting with or somebody that you\u2019re in an affair with, it\u2019s not the real thing.\u00a0 It\u2019s not coming from God.\u00a0 Truthfully, it\u2019s going to leave you emptier on the other side; but for whatever reason, it still had that pull.\u00a0 I gave myself to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, here\u2019s the picture: You\u2019re in ministry\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014youth leader, worship leader\u2014daily looking at porn, chatting, flirting\u2014and then, going and leading the youth group that night\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and speaking about Christ and the Gospel\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014with passion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was there no voice speaking and saying, \u201cChris\u201d\u2014no conscience speaking to you in this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think there was; but I think I had gotten to the point where\u2014because of my repeated sin and my ritual of, after a sin, I would just go to God in prayer and beg His forgiveness, promise I\u2019d never do that again.\u00a0 There was always that promise that I would never look at that again, I\u2019d never chat with that person again; but intimacy with God was <em>very <\/em>non-existent at that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe constant presence of that disobedience in my lifestyle and in my moral choices created a brick wall between my heart and the heart of God.\u00a0 So, I\u2019m doing ministry out of a manufactured passion, if you will.\u00a0 There is no authenticity there because I\u2019m so\u2014my relationship with God has gotten very, very cold.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned, this ultimately started\u2014this kind of the new intensity\u201413 years ago.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How long before you actually met another woman?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was about a year-and-a-half.\u00a0 There was a two-and-a-half year period where\u2014the first day, I chatted with a girl; and we agreed to meet at her house.\u00a0 I went there, and the drive home was excruciating\u2014the self-hatred, the guilt, the thought of my wife and my son waiting to give me a kiss when I walked through the door and happy for their husband and father to be home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI could never say, \u201cI kept my vow;\u201d I could never say, \u201cI kept my promise as a husband.\u201d\u00a0 I crossed the unthinkable line with the ritualistic prayer of, \u201cGod, I\u2019ll never do that again.\u00a0 Please forgive me.\u201d\u00a0 Then, over the course of the next two years or so, maybe once a month, I would find myself stressed, bored, weak\u2014spiritually; and it was a rough time.\u00a0 I\u2019d just given myself to it, and Cindy had no idea.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was going to ask you, Cindy, \u201cReally?\u00a0 No idea?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I knew our marriage was strained.\u00a0 There was definitely a lack in our emotional connection, but <em>that<\/em> going on?\u2014no, no idea.\u00a0 I just remember that\u2014I mean, our son was young; and so, for the first two-and-a-half years of his life, I just remember there was something going on.\u00a0 I just didn\u2019t know what it was.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI spent hours upon hours just praying and saying, \u201cGod, show me what to do.\u00a0 Show me what to do because something is not right.\u201d\u00a0 God would just say, \u201cI need you to trust Me.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, I heard that over, and over, and over again from the Father.\u00a0 \u201cI need you to trust Me.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, \u201cSomething\u2019s got to give.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I would bring anything up, he would get defensive.\u00a0 He would eventually turn it around on me and manipulate the situation.\u00a0 I got to the point where I kind of just threw my hands back and said, \u201cOkay, God, I don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chris, one of these women that you were with became pregnant?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I received a phone call in December.\u00a0 I was shopping\u2014I remember to this day\u2014I was shopping for a Christmas present for Cindy in a department store, and she called me.\u00a0 She said that she was pretty sure she was pregnant; and if she was, she was confident that it was mine.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI could almost pallet myself as an adulterer and just kind of live with that guilt; but the idea of being an abandoning father\u2014like the idea that someday an 18-year-old kid is going to come knocking on my door\u2014who, I haven\u2019t been in his life and I have, out of my own convenience, ignored him or run away from the reality of his existence.\u00a0 That idea\u2014I don\u2019t think I could live with.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe moved to Oklahoma; and so, I\u2019ve got this <em>huge<\/em> weight of, \u201cWhat am I going to do?\u201d\u00a0 That was married by what I call an exposure of God.\u00a0 We moved to this new church\u2014<em>amazing<\/em> church, <em>great<\/em> leadership\u2014and I felt completely exposed.\u00a0 The day we drove in\u2014and I would start going to staff meetings and I felt like I was caught, even though nobody knew anything; you know?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a very challenging time for me because I really felt like God was bringing me to a point of getting honest.\u00a0 The one thing that I haven\u2019t done my entire life is to be completely honest.\u00a0 I had never known a day since I was eight years old where I didn\u2019t have a secret.\u00a0 I felt that God was bringing me to this point of confession.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What brought you to the point of telling Cindy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our pastor was leading a staff meeting, and we had only been there for six weeks.\u00a0 We\u2019re still in boxes, just bought a house.\u00a0 I mean, we just got there\u2014didn\u2019t know anyone\u2014and he was talking about a friend of his that had morally fallen, had an affair.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCraig made a statement.\u00a0 He said, \u201cYou know what?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cYour sin will find you out.\u00a0 It always will.\u00a0 It\u2019s just a matter of time.\u201d\u00a0 He said that we all struggle with things; and that if you confess\u2014if there\u2019s something you\u2019re dealing with\u2014if you confess it, you\u2019ll find mercy; you\u2019ll find grace.\u00a0 If you hide it and you get caught, it will probably be a different story.\u00a0 That was it.\u00a0 That\u2019s all I could handle.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was a Tuesday.\u00a0 I went home, and Cindy was unpacking boxes.\u00a0 I knew that this conversation would probably yield the loss of a marriage, the breaking of a family, and certainly the end of ministry; but I went in and just said, \u201cHoney, we\u2019ve got to talk.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s pretty much all I could take.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As he came in\u2014did you know something was up as soon as he walked in the door?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, he\u2014the door opened, and I thought, \u201cWhat is that?\u201d\u00a0 I came around the corner, and there he is.\u00a0 It was 9:30 in the morning; and he just looked at me and said those words, \u201cWe need to talk.\u201d\u00a0 I knew right then, \u201cOkay, something\u2019s not right.\u201d\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t sure if someone died or if he\u2019d lost his job, but something was clearly wrong.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we sit down on the sofa; and he proceeds to tell me, \u201cI\u2019ve been unfaithful to you with many women, many different times, many different places over the course of about this two-year period.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cOne of the women is pregnant, and I\u2019m pretty sure that I\u2019m the father.\u201d\u00a0 I went probably into a place of just somewhere in outer space\u2014just like shock\u2014immediate like, \u201cIs this really happening?\u201d\u2014almost out-of-body like experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I just kept looking at him, and he just kept staring at me.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t touch me\u2014I think he was afraid to touch me.\u00a0 He just kept looking at me like, \u201cOkay, what are you going to say next?\u201d\u00a0 I went straight into the pit of despair at that moment; and within a few\u201430 minutes or so\u2014our Pastor Craig and another Pastor Jerry came over.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey\u2019re sitting across from us, and we\u2019re just kind of all four staring at each other.\u00a0 They\u2019re not really looking at Chris because they\u2019re pretty mad at him at this point.\u00a0 I never went to that anger place at this time.\u00a0 I just thought, \u201cWhat do we do now?\u00a0 What\u2019s the next step?\u201d\u00a0 I lost my father when I was 19.\u00a0 I lost some other close family members in my life.\u00a0 There is nothing that took me to this level of despair like that confession that day.\u00a0 I literally asked God to just take me home.\u00a0 I just wanted to die.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because of the betrayal?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, absolutely, the betrayal, the baby.\u00a0 No one is supposed to be the mother of his children\u2014just me.\u00a0 I\u2019m the mother of his children.\u00a0 Just thinking back, things started to make sense to me; and I thought, \u201cThat\u2019s what it was.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember saying, \u201cGod, You told me to trust You.\u00a0 How in the world is <em>this<\/em> going to show that I can trust You?\u201d\u00a0 That was really the only time I questioned God because I was very aware, even in the midst of that devastation\u2014I was very aware that it wasn\u2019t God Who let me down.\u00a0 It was my husband, and a lot of people blame God.\u00a0 I don\u2019t blame God for those kinds of things.\u00a0 I <em>knew<\/em> it was my husband; but I kept saying, \u201cOkay, God, I don\u2019t understand why wasn\u2019t this revealed somehow sooner before there was a baby?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What saved your life, and your marriage, and your family?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, infidelity is grounds for divorce; but it is also, with the right mindsets and the right willingness to surrender\u2014it is an opportunity for forgiveness and restoration.\u00a0 My encouragement to that woman or to that man, who is about to hear that or just heard it 20 minutes ago or two days ago, is you do not have to decide the rest of your life in the next two days, in the next two weeks.\u00a0 Do not make a rash decision\u2014your emotions are heightened, and you don\u2019t know which way is up and which way is down.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was some advice that was given to me; and so, it gave the Holy Spirit time because I didn\u2019t act on my flesh, which was, \u201cCut bait; hit the road; get out of here.\u201d\u00a0 It gave the Holy Spirit time to massage my heart and say, \u201cI\u2019ve got a plan.\u00a0 Will you let Me work on it?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chris, what would you say to the guy who daily\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014is looking online; has his own three-, four-, five-hour binges; hasn\u2019t crossed the line or has crossed the line\u2014gotten together with somebody else\u2014but he goes, \u201cI pray like you do and say, \u2018That\u2019s the last time, and I mean it\u2019\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cand I really think it is.\u00a0 I try hard, but I keep going back there.\u00a0 What can I do?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say the first thing to that person is, \u201cGod loves you.\u00a0 God is <em>crazy<\/em> about you.\u201d\u00a0 When we find ourselves in these dark, sinful patterns, we tend to really not like ourselves\u2014we hate ourselves\u2014but we have to remember that God\u2019s love and His mercy through Christ\u2014it supersedes everything.\u00a0 We have to first know that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, the one thing\u2014there\u2019s not a Scripture in the Bible that says, \u201cConfess your sins to God to be healed.\u201d\u00a0 James says, \u201cConfess your sins one to another and pray for each other that you may be healed.\u201d\u00a0 The one thing I was unwilling to do is to tell another human being 100 percent of the truth.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019m not saying you need to put it on your Facebook\u00ae or tell the whole world; but you need to find one person that you trust, who has your best interests at heart\u2014may not need to be your spouse as the first person, and maybe\u2014I would even say probably not your spouse as the first person\u2014but find somebody that you trust, and tell them \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t100 percent of the truth, and pray.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Eventually, you\u2019ve got to bring your spouse into it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely; absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can\u2019t say, \u201cWell, this is walled off; and she\u2019s not my ally in this.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Won\u2019t work.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chris:<\/strong>\u00a0 Won\u2019t work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you\u2019re talking, I\u2019m just thinking of Romans 8:1\u2014and it\u2019s going to sound a bit trite, but it is the hope of a situation like this\u2014\u201cThere is, therefore, now, no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t mean there are no consequences\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Cindy:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but we are forgiven.\u00a0 We are loved, as you said.\u00a0 God does pursue us.\u00a0 Ultimately, it was His love, expressed through Cindy to you, that ultimately saw, not only forgiveness occur in your relationship, but also restoration.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A marriage can be healed and trust can be restored, which is ultimately what happened in your marriage.\u00a0 It\u2019s what\u2019s at the heart of the book that you\u2019ve written, Cindy, <em>Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken<\/em>.\u00a0 You have seen how God is using your story to help other couples who have gotten to a similar place in their marriage and are wondering, \u201cHow do we rebuild from the ashes?\u201d\u00a0 It can be done.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of Cindy\u2019s book in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the book, <em>Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us to receive a copy of the book.\u00a0 Our toll-free number is 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs we\u2019ve listened today to Chris and Cindy share their story, Dennis, I was thinking about our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways, where the couples who are on our speaker team will often share from their own stories of challenges they\u2019ve faced in their marriage relationship.\u00a0 There is power when we bring some of these patterns to light and let God work on us in the light, instead of trying to deal with it in the darkness\u2014and let other people get involved in all of this.\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the reasons why we try to feature programs like this here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> because we know God uses these programs in folks\u2019 lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, I was looking at some of the comments on our website, below the transcripts on FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 There is a place where people can leave comments about each day\u2019s program; and God\u2019s using this story, this week, in people\u2019s lives.\u00a0 We are grateful for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe appreciate those of you who make all of that possible.\u00a0 We\u2019re listener-supported; so, when you help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, you make this program possible on this station, on our network of radio stations, and around the world on the internet.\u00a0 We appreciate that financial support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, this week, if you can make a donation to help support us, we\u2019d like to send you a couple of cards\u2014one for you and one for your spouse\u2014cards that\u2019ll help you pray more effectively for one another on a daily basis.\u00a0 These are just a simple way we can help equip you with the tools and resources that can strengthen your marriage relationship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 As you fill out the donation form, when you\u2019re all done, the cards will be sent to you automatically.\u00a0 If you call 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a donation over the phone, just be sure to ask to have the prayer cards sent to you.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to do that; and we so appreciate your financial support of the ministry and your partnership with us here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to hear how Chris and Cindy Beall\u2019s church got involved in their situation and how God used that to help restore their marriage.\u00a0 I hope you can be here for that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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