{"id":302457,"date":"2012-02-10T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-10T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/saying-no-to-second-rate-sex\/"},"modified":"2012-02-10T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-02-10T17:00:00","slug":"saying-no-to-second-rate-sex","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/saying-no-to-second-rate-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Saying &#8220;No&#8221; to Second-Rate Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>We&#8217;ve all heard that you shouldn&#8217;t have sex because God says so, but are there other reasons?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"26.8M","filesize_raw":"28101156","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817],"tags":[4213,2991],"podcast_series":[7287],"cwp_profile":[3049],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302457","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","tag-love","tag-sex","podcast_series-love-sex-and-lasting-relationships","cwp_profile-chip-ingram","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302457\/saying-no-to-second-rate-sex","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302457\/saying-no-to-second-rate-sex","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"PulbeFMh0R\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/saying-no-to-second-rate-sex\/\">Saying &#8220;No&#8221; to Second-Rate Sex<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/saying-no-to-second-rate-sex\/embed\/#?secret=PulbeFMh0R\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Saying &#8220;No&#8221; to Second-Rate Sex&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"PulbeFMh0R\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you think you\u2019ve found just the right person and just the right relationship, here\u2019s a word of caution from Chip Ingram.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Listen, this is <em>very<\/em> important.\u00a0 The introduction of sex in a dating relationship almost always ushers in the break-up of that relationship.\u00a0 That guy who says, \u201cIf you love me, you will,\u201d\u2014ladies, know for sure\u2014and that gal, in our day, that says to that man, \u201cHey, if you love me, you will,\u201d\u2014you are signing the death sentence of that relationship.\u00a0 The entire dynamics of the relationship change once you have sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 10<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll learn today why introducing intimacy into a relationship before marriage can mean the end of that relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 You know, we can't talk about what we've been talking about this week about <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships<\/em> without a few songs popping in your head.\u00a0 You know what I mean?\u00a0 (Sings) \u201cWhen I fall in love, it will be forever\u201d\u2014You know that one?\u2014Nat King Cole?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I was going to guess Perry Como.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That hurts!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was your rendition that made it sound like Perry Como.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was going to guess Engelbert Humperdinck.\u00a0 I knew it was right in there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Bob will get over it here in a moment.\u00a0 Let me welcome back, for a fifth day, Chip Ingram.\u00a0 Chip, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Great to be with you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We've been talking about the \u201cTests of Love\u201d that\u2014well, if you haven't completed the test that's on our website, go to FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 Especially if you're a single person, go to FamilyLife.com, take the test because today we want to talk about how to say, \u201cYes,\u201d to love and, \u201cNo,\u201d to second-rate sex.\u00a0 Now, as a single person, you ran into a couple who gave you a model of what you were looking for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0They really did.\u00a0 I remember it was four girls to every guy\u2014had all the normal hormones that any guy ever had, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait, what did you just say?\u00a0 Four girls to every guy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, there were four girls to every guy in the <em>college<\/em> that I went to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 I thought that you meant every guy had four girls; and I'm going, \u201cI never experienced that.\u201d\u00a0 Bob, did you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I went to the wrong college.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What college was that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 West Liberty State College in West Virginia.\u00a0 They had a Dental Hygiene School, and these girls would come from everywhere\u2014and I want to tell you, \u201cTo be sexually pure as a new Christian, it was like, \u2018You've got to be kidding!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 I always felt like God was on one side of the fence, and I was on the other.\u00a0 We were always fighting over this issue, and I thought He was trying to keep something good from me.\u00a0 I read all these verses and was being made fun of by the basketball team because I'd made a commitment to be sexually pure.\u00a0 It was very unpopular and very difficult.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember the night a switch clicked in my heart, in my mind, and there was a young couple\u2014they had small kids.\u00a0 You know, like kind of the five, three, and two.\u00a0 I went over to this little white farmhouse\u2014I mean, you get a free meal in college\u2014you go.\u00a0 So, drove five or six miles out in the country.\u00a0 You know, we had this meal, we talked, and we had apple pie ala mode.\u00a0 These were brand-new Christians, and I'll never forget watching them look at each other.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn my experience, as a single person\u2014and I didn't grow up as a believer\u2014I just thought like most people, \u201cAfter they got married, sort of, the sex stuff must go away because they didn't seem like they were sending any signals.\u201d\u00a0 Here, this couple, I could tell, I mean, there was some <em>jazz<\/em> in this marriage.\u00a0 I mean, the way they looked at each other, and <em>loved<\/em> each other, and these cute little kids.\u00a0 I sat at that table and I remember after about three-quarters through the meal thinking, \u201cYou know this is what I want.\u00a0 <em>I want<\/em> what's around this table.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod gave me this picture.\u00a0 As I was driving down the hill, a real steep hill, a verse came into my mind\u2014Romans 8:32 came into my mind.\u00a0 \u201cHe that spared not His own Son, how will He not, with Him, freely give us all things?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was like the Spirit of God said, \u201cYou know what, Chip?\u00a0 My plan is so good for you.\u00a0 I want you to have what you saw in that living room with that young couple and those kids.\u00a0 Every command in Scripture about not being sexually active in your mind, your thinking, or in your body is so you get that instead of something cheap and second-rate.\u00a0 Would you quit fighting me and realize I'm on your team?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat idea came to me, second-rate sex\u2014sex with guilt, sex with disease, sex with\u2014you talk to anyone who is sexually active\u2014and everyone, at some point in time\u2014it\u2019s using someone.\u00a0 The reason God says, \u201cNo,\u201d is He doesn't want that for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yet, the reality is, in spite of all that evidence you're talking about, well over\u00a0 50 percent of today's young people think that sex outside of marriage is now acceptable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All the data, all of the heartache, even what they personally have experienced in their conscience; and yet, they are questioning the standard.\u00a0 It's part of the reason why I wanted to spend today talking about this subject because I don't think there are enough voices today speaking truth into the lives of today's young people who are single\u2014\u201cBe sexually pure.\u00a0 Make today the first day of the rest of your life where you are going to abstain until God says, \u2018You know what?\u2014it's good.\u00a0 It's in marriage, and it's to be participated in and to be enjoyed.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou point out a number of reasons why someone should save sex for marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0What I found was that the moment I opened the Bible and started telling them, \u201cBecause God says in our world,\u201d often I get turned off right away.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been\u2014I've had guys in the dorm, crowded all around, and I'm going to talk about this.\u00a0 Some guy, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You give me a good reason, without opening that Bible, why I should\u2014I mean, are you\u2014Can't you see what's going on here?\u00a0 Don't you know what's out here?\u00a0 Why in the world would I <em>ever<\/em> save sex for marriage?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cNo, I can't give you one.\u00a0 Let me give you five, and none of these are from the Bible,\u201d\u2014five reasons why to say, \u201cNo.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne: Those who abstain from sexual intercourse before marriage report the highest levels of satisfaction of sex <em>in <\/em>marriage.\u00a0 The most happening place in America, sexually, is not singles bars\u2014it's from monogamous couples, with deep religious convictions.\u00a0 Second: Those who co-habitate, or live together before marriage, have a 50 percent higher divorce rate than those who don't.\u00a0 I mean, wait a minute!\u00a0\u00a0 Do you want it to last or not?\u00a0 Third: Those who abstain from sexual intercourse before marriage have the highest rates of <em>fidelity<\/em> in marriage.\u00a0 If you want your mate to stick with you, don\u2019t have sex before marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you want to be trusted and you want to trust another person, the time to build that trust is not later on after you\u2019re married; it\u2019s now, as you establish that relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 The fourth reason is:\u00a0 The introduction\u2014listen, this is very important\u2014The introduction of sex in a dating relationship almost always ushers in the breakup of that relationship.\u00a0 That guy who says, \u201cIf you love me, you will,\u201d\u2014ladies, know for sure\u2014and that gal, now, in our day, who says to that man, \u201cHey, if you love me, you will\u201d\u2014you are signing the death sentence to that relationship.\u00a0 The entire dynamics of the relationship change once you have sex.\u00a0 The fifth reason is sexually-transmitted diseases, including AIDS, can remain dormant for up to a decade or more but be passed on to others during that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, those five reasons\u2014I didn't open the Bible; but if you want your marriage to last, if you want to have great sex in marriage, if you want to have fidelity and want your partner and you to stick with the one you have, if you want to avoid sexually-transmitted diseases, and if you want the good relationship that you're in to be there, don't have sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, go back to the picture that you saw at the farmhouse where you were having dinner and ask the question, \u201cIf you want something less glorious than that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cIf you want something that's got conflict and tension in the marriage relationship, if you want something where one person is not home because she is out somewhere else with someone else, if you want something where the marriage is over after a few years, if you want less than the picture you saw, then, fool around\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but if you want that, if you want that ultimate goal that, really, our heart longs for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014everyone has in his heart, I think, that cry to be in the kind of a relationship, the kind of environment that you describe.\u00a0 It\u2019s what got touched in you that night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say, too, lest some dear, faithful, committed brothers listening to us\u2014or sisters\u2014think those are all very pragmatic reasons; but let me give you one that's <em>way<\/em> more important.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt says, \u201cBut let not immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you as is proper among the saints.\u00a0 There must be no filthiness or silly talk or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather the giving of thanks.\u00a0 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral,\u201d\u2014sexually immoral\u2014\u201cor impure,\u201d\u2014sexually impure\u2014\u201cor covetous person, who is an idolater has an inheritance in the kingdom of God.\u201d\u00a0 God has spoken <em>definitively<\/em>.\u00a0 There\u2019re times that people say, \u201cOh, the Bible doesn\u2019t say sex before marriage is wrong\u201d\u2014Hello?!\u00a0 I mean, this is as direct as it can be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I wish folks could read the mail bag here at FamilyLife, both the letters and the e-mails that come in and the stories where there are sub-cultures, where immorality is expected.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s a part of the neighborhood.\u00a0 Yet, we come in with a program like today, calling single people to abstain, to remain chaste\u2014and by the way, when we talk about abstaining from sex, we\u2019re not just talking about abstaining from sexual intercourse because we have a whole generation, now, that has <em>redefined<\/em> what it means to have sex with another person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re calling single people back to the Scripture that you read, Chip, which says, \u201cDon\u2019t let there even be a hint of sexual immorality be named among you.\u201d\u00a0 Now, Chip, as a single man or a single woman, who may be in the midst of this culture today, where do they start?\u00a0 They need to develop convictions; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 They really do, and I think they need to start with their mind.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that is out of vogue in our day is fasting.\u00a0 I think as beneficial as fasting from food has been in my life, especially during times of focused prayer\u2014one of the most revolutionary things that has helped me is a media fast.\u00a0 We are so inundated, and we're so saturated, that we have people who really love God\u2014I mean, they <em>love<\/em> God; but they're desensitized.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy challenge would be to take ten days and watch no movies, rent no movies, nothing on the TV\u2014just for ten days\u2014and spend that time getting God's Word in your life, putting positive things in your life\u2014work out, play music.\u00a0 What I will tell you is, \u201cTen days later, some things that just didn't even register will shock you.\u201d\u00a0 If you want to get really shocked, do a 30-day media fast; and you will turn on prime-time TV, and you\u2019ll go, \u201cWhoa!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That happened to us last summer because of travel and because of a television fast.\u00a0 Barbara and I, because of travel, ended up really fasting from TV and movies for all of July, August, and September.\u00a0 Now, I have to tell you, when I turned the TV on in October, and I saw what I saw, it was the very thing you're talking about, Chip.\u00a0 I was watching a sitcom that I've never seen before, and the contrast between the values and the message it was representing versus the Scripture\u2014well, there was no comparison.\u00a0 Why would I want to embrace that?\u00a0 Why would I want to fill my mind with that?\u00a0 I think, for a lot of families today, we don't realize what impact media is having on us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you left that farmhouse that night and you said, \u201cThis is what I want,\u201d did you develop a game plan in your mind?<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I really did.\u00a0 What I realized was\u2014if I was going to get there\u2014and this was the 70s, \u201cThe Sexual Revolution\u201d\u2014dorms were open, people were sleeping together, everything\u2014now, they do it; but it was a revolution back then.\u00a0 What I realized was I needed to develop a game plan to win.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy game plan had kind of a threefold approach.\u00a0 Number one:\u00a0 I had to develop convictions.\u00a0 I believe purity requires personal commitment to the truth.\u00a0 I need to believe that Ephesians 5:2-4 is really true.\u00a0 God has my best interests in mind.\u00a0 It does mean you memorize a couple of passages, you pray, you ask God.\u00a0 A conviction is not like, \u201cWell, this is nice when it's convenient.\u201d\u00a0 It is, \u201cThis is bedrock.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Give me an idea what one of your convictions looked like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0My conviction was I would not watch nudity of any kind.\u00a0 My conviction was I would not date an unbeliever.\u00a0 My conviction was I would not date a believer who was not totally committed to the Lord, with a common vision.\u00a0 I made pre-decisions like\u2014I still have these\u2014I just change them\u2014I will not go somewhere alone with another woman, other than my wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I've decided, for me, that I don't watch any R-rated movies.\u00a0 My mind is very sensitive.\u00a0 I had to develop convictions about what went into my mind.\u00a0 Then, that leads to the second.\u00a0 I made pre-decisions, or advance decisions; and that's an absolute necessity for sexual purity.\u00a0 You make advance decisions in the dating relationship:\u00a0 \u201cWhat time am I going to get her home?\u201d\u00a0 Advance decisions:\u00a0 \u201cWe won't be downstairs in the basement, unsupervised, lying around watching a movie.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will tell you, you can love God as much as you want at 7:30 at night.\u00a0 You can be as committed to Christ\u2014the most committed, godly people in your singles group, your youth, whatever; and at 1:30 at night, after lying on the couch, watching movies and giving one other holy backrubs in the Lord, you will be someplace that you don't want to be.\u00a0 It's not that you don't love God.\u00a0 It's that you've made provision for the flesh.\u00a0 God made you to be attracted, and you put yourself in a situation that there's Plan A, \u201cFail;\u201d there's Plan B, \u201cFail;\u201d and there's Plan C, \u201cFail.\u201d\u00a0 The only way to win is you pre-decide, \u201cI won't go there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe third part was just, \u201cYou get accountability.\u201d\u00a0 I have men in my life, along with my wife, who ask me\u2014and I ask them\u2014\u201cSo how are you doing in these pre-decisions?\u201d\u00a0 I appreciate the reality of just saying, \u201cYou watched that a little too long.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 See, what we start doing is we start faking it and acting like we're doing a lot better.\u00a0 Every man, every woman, some part of some day, some week, or some month, we're blowing it; but when it gets to be where, \u201cOh, we would never, ever do that,\u201d you are setting yourself up for failure.\u00a0 When you blow it, when you own it, when you confess it, there is some level of, \u201cIt's humiliating.\u201d\u00a0 You know something?\u00a0 That is a very <em>good <\/em>thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's a very <em>purifying<\/em> thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 To have people in your life\u2014the accountability that you're talking about\u2014other men; other women, if you're a woman\u2014people that are going to ask you the questions, people who are going to\u2014I've never forgotten.\u00a0 Chuck Swindoll had a list of questions, \u201cHave you watched anything you shouldn't watch?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Question 7 was the one that I thought was the greatest question.\u00a0 It was, \u201cDid you just lie to me about any of those things?\u201d\u00a0 We need to be calling one another to account on those kinds of issues and get in each other's lives and each other's faces on this stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All week long, we've been speaking to singles and marrieds about the standards of Scripture and not being \u201cconformed to the world but being transformed by the renewing of our minds.\u201d\u00a0 I want to read a passage of Scripture that, I think, some of our listeners, right now, need to apply.\u00a0 It's found in the Book of 1 John, near the end of the New Testament.\u00a0 It's Chapter 1.\u00a0 It says, \u201cIf we say that we have fellowship with Him; and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.\u00a0 But if we walk in the light, as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus, His Son, cleanses us from all sin.\u00a0 However, if we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, here is the great promise of Scripture, \u201cIf we confess our sins, He\u201d\u2014that's Jesus Christ\u2014\u201c[Jesus Christ] is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.\u201d\u00a0 That passage, 1 John 1:9, that last verse that I just read, that's the essence of the Christian life.\u00a0 After you come to faith in Christ in the Gospel and you receive His forgiveness for eternal life, you then have to make that forgiveness a reality day-in and day-out.\u00a0 When you do blow it, or when you are accused in your conscience of where you failed in the past, the Scriptures say, \u201cIf you confess your sin,\u201d if you name it, He promises, \u201cHe is faithful and righteous to forgive you of that sin and to cleanse you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd say to any person right now, as we've talked about this sexual dimension of life, if you felt convicted by something you've done in the past or are doing in the present, there is no better day than right now than just to say, \u201cLord God,\u201d and then name a sin.\u00a0 Specifically name it before Him.\u00a0 He already knows it, anyway.\u00a0 Name the sin and say, \u201cThank You for dying on the cross for that sin.\u00a0 Thank You for forgiving it and now for cleansing me.\u00a0 Restore fellowship with You and help me to walk uprightly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, at that point, develop some convictions, and set some boundaries, and get some accountability so that you're not going to get snared again.\u00a0 Because as soon as you do that, Dennis, you know who has you in his sights.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The Enemy wants to say, \u201cLet's put this new idealism to the test and see how you do.\u201d\u00a0 You're going to have something thrown right in your way.\u00a0 You've got to follow the kind of pattern that Chip was talking about us following.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The Enemy gets singles, as well as marrieds, in his crosshairs; and he uses this area of relationships to do it.\u00a0 I just say turn away from the temptations, and turn toward the Scriptures, and also turn toward good resources, like Chip's book here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChip, I just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to you for writing this book, and being honest and authentic, and for spending all week with us here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We wish you the best and pray God's favor on you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Dennis.\u00a0 It has been an absolute privilege to be with you and Bob.\u00a0 My prayer is that God might help some people avoid some of the big pitfalls that some of us have had in our journey.\u00a0 For those who have made those mistakes, to know, today, there is a loving Father Who longs to forgive and restore, no matter where you're at, no matter where they've been.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We haven\u2019t mentioned it this week, but folks who want to know more about your ministry, <em>Living on the Edge<\/em>, and find out more about the church where you serve as senior pastor, we\u2019ve got a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to where you can get more information about Chip\u2019s daily radio program and find out more about the church he serves up in Northern California.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019ve also got information, of course, on the website about the book that we\u2019ve been talking about this week, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships<\/em>.\u00a0 We can make arrangements to have a copy of Chip\u2019s book sent to you.\u00a0 All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 FamilyLifeToday.com is the website; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I want to remind you that this weekend we are kicking off our spring season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to have hundreds of couples joining us this weekend, and thousands of couples throughout the spring, who will be getting together with us at one of these weekend getaways.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve never attended a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, whether you are married or considering marriage, this would be a great getaway for you and your spouse, or your fianc\u00e9.\u00a0 You can find out more about when the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is happening in a city near where you live.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the link for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, and if you don\u2019t find a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> coming to your city or if the date doesn\u2019t work for you, you can also check into the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae video event.\u00a0 There are going to be hundreds of these events in locations all across the country this spring.\u00a0 So, you could sign up to attend an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> event when it comes near where you live.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t see one near where you live or if you\u2019d like to host one, it\u2019s easy for a couple to do this at your local church or to invite friends over and go through the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> material.\u00a0 Find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs always, we are grateful to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We are listener-supported, which means that the only reason we are here today is because there have been some folks in the past who\u2019ve said, \u201cThis program is important for me, for my family, for our community.\u00a0 We want to help support it;\u201d and they have made a donation to make that possible.\u00a0 That is what being listener-supported is all about.\u00a0 We appreciate those of you who either donate monthly to help keep <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on this station or those of you who make a donation from time-to-time.\u00a0 We appreciate you, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you can help with a donation, we\u2019d love to send you a couple of resources that will help you as husband and wife more clearly and more effectively express your love for one another.\u00a0 We have two books.\u00a0 One is a book of tips for husbands about how to be romantic, and another is a book of tips for wives on the same subject.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlong with those books, we\u2019ll send you some prayer cards so you can be praying for one another more effectively.\u00a0 Again, these resources are just our way of saying, \u201cThanks for how you support this ministry;\u201d and we hope that the resources help support your marriage, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make your donation online, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the box that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 That way, when you make the donation, the resources will be sent to you automatically; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone\u2014be sure to ask for the romance resources\u2014we\u2019ll know what you\u2019re talking about, and we\u2019ll be happy to get them out to you.\u00a0 Again, we do appreciate you and are always happy to hear from you.\u00a0 So, \u201cThanks,\u201d for whatever you are able to do in supporting the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary:<\/strong>\u00a0 [recorded audio] A second love language is gifts\u2014gifts.\u00a0 Now, they don\u2019t have to be expensive gifts.\u00a0 \u201cHey, guys!\u00a0 You can get flowers free!\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Just go out in your yard and pick one.\u00a0 That\u2019s what your kids do.\u00a0 No flowers in your yard?\u00a0 Your neighbor\u2019s yard\u2014ask them\u2014they\u2019ll give you a flower\u2014or go to a funeral and ask the lady for a flower.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Gifts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear from best-selling author, Dr. Gary Chapman, with some sound counsel on how to have a stronger, more healthy marriage relationship.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a9 Song\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <em>When I Fall in Love<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Nat King Cole\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The Very Best of Nat King Cole\u00a0\u2117 Compilation 2006 Capitol\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["26.8M"],"filesize_raw":["28101156"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302457.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302457.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px 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all heard that you shouldn't have sex because God says so, but are there other reasons?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you think you\u2019ve found just the right person and just the right relationship, here\u2019s a word of caution from Chip Ingram.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Listen, this is <em>very<\/em> important.\u00a0 The introduction of sex in a dating relationship almost always ushers in the break-up of that relationship.\u00a0 That guy who says, \u201cIf you love me, you will,\u201d\u2014ladies, know for sure\u2014and that gal, in our day, that says to that man, \u201cHey, if you love me, you will,\u201d\u2014you are signing the death sentence of that relationship.\u00a0 The entire dynamics of the relationship change once you have sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, February 10<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey; I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We'll learn today why introducing intimacy into a relationship before marriage can mean the end of that relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Friday edition.\u00a0 You know, we can't talk about what we've been talking about this week about <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships<\/em> without a few songs popping in your head.\u00a0 You know what I mean?\u00a0 (Sings) \u201cWhen I fall in love, it will be forever\u201d\u2014You know that one?\u2014Nat King Cole?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, I was going to guess Perry Como.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That hurts!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was your rendition that made it sound like Perry Como.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was going to guess Engelbert Humperdinck.\u00a0 I knew it was right in there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Bob will get over it here in a moment.\u00a0 Let me welcome back, for a fifth day, Chip Ingram.\u00a0 Chip, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Great to be with you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We've been talking about the \u201cTests of Love\u201d that\u2014well, if you haven't completed the test that's on our website, go to FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 Especially if you're a single person, go to FamilyLife.com, take the test because today we want to talk about how to say, \u201cYes,\u201d to love and, \u201cNo,\u201d to second-rate sex.\u00a0 Now, as a single person, you ran into a couple who gave you a model of what you were looking for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0They really did.\u00a0 I remember it was four girls to every guy\u2014had all the normal hormones that any guy ever had, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait, what did you just say?\u00a0 Four girls to every guy?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, there were four girls to every guy in the <em>college<\/em> that I went to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh!\u00a0 I thought that you meant every guy had four girls; and I'm going, \u201cI never experienced that.\u201d\u00a0 Bob, did you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I went to the wrong college.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What college was that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 West Liberty State College in West Virginia.\u00a0 They had a Dental Hygiene School, and these girls would come from everywhere\u2014and I want to tell you, \u201cTo be sexually pure as a new Christian, it was like, \u2018You've got to be kidding!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 I always felt like God was on one side of the fence, and I was on the other.\u00a0 We were always fighting over this issue, and I thought He was trying to keep something good from me.\u00a0 I read all these verses and was being made fun of by the basketball team because I'd made a commitment to be sexually pure.\u00a0 It was very unpopular and very difficult.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember the night a switch clicked in my heart, in my mind, and there was a young couple\u2014they had small kids.\u00a0 You know, like kind of the five, three, and two.\u00a0 I went over to this little white farmhouse\u2014I mean, you get a free meal in college\u2014you go.\u00a0 So, drove five or six miles out in the country.\u00a0 You know, we had this meal, we talked, and we had apple pie ala mode.\u00a0 These were brand-new Christians, and I'll never forget watching them look at each other.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn my experience, as a single person\u2014and I didn't grow up as a believer\u2014I just thought like most people, \u201cAfter they got married, sort of, the sex stuff must go away because they didn't seem like they were sending any signals.\u201d\u00a0 Here, this couple, I could tell, I mean, there was some <em>jazz<\/em> in this marriage.\u00a0 I mean, the way they looked at each other, and <em>loved<\/em> each other, and these cute little kids.\u00a0 I sat at that table and I remember after about three-quarters through the meal thinking, \u201cYou know this is what I want.\u00a0 <em>I want<\/em> what's around this table.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGod gave me this picture.\u00a0 As I was driving down the hill, a real steep hill, a verse came into my mind\u2014Romans 8:32 came into my mind.\u00a0 \u201cHe that spared not His own Son, how will He not, with Him, freely give us all things?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was like the Spirit of God said, \u201cYou know what, Chip?\u00a0 My plan is so good for you.\u00a0 I want you to have what you saw in that living room with that young couple and those kids.\u00a0 Every command in Scripture about not being sexually active in your mind, your thinking, or in your body is so you get that instead of something cheap and second-rate.\u00a0 Would you quit fighting me and realize I'm on your team?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat idea came to me, second-rate sex\u2014sex with guilt, sex with disease, sex with\u2014you talk to anyone who is sexually active\u2014and everyone, at some point in time\u2014it\u2019s using someone.\u00a0 The reason God says, \u201cNo,\u201d is He doesn't want that for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yet, the reality is, in spite of all that evidence you're talking about, well over\u00a0 50 percent of today's young people think that sex outside of marriage is now acceptable.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All the data, all of the heartache, even what they personally have experienced in their conscience; and yet, they are questioning the standard.\u00a0 It's part of the reason why I wanted to spend today talking about this subject because I don't think there are enough voices today speaking truth into the lives of today's young people who are single\u2014\u201cBe sexually pure.\u00a0 Make today the first day of the rest of your life where you are going to abstain until God says, \u2018You know what?\u2014it's good.\u00a0 It's in marriage, and it's to be participated in and to be enjoyed.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou point out a number of reasons why someone should save sex for marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0What I found was that the moment I opened the Bible and started telling them, \u201cBecause God says in our world,\u201d often I get turned off right away.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been\u2014I've had guys in the dorm, crowded all around, and I'm going to talk about this.\u00a0 Some guy, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 You give me a good reason, without opening that Bible, why I should\u2014I mean, are you\u2014Can't you see what's going on here?\u00a0 Don't you know what's out here?\u00a0 Why in the world would I <em>ever<\/em> save sex for marriage?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cNo, I can't give you one.\u00a0 Let me give you five, and none of these are from the Bible,\u201d\u2014five reasons why to say, \u201cNo.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne: Those who abstain from sexual intercourse before marriage report the highest levels of satisfaction of sex <em>in <\/em>marriage.\u00a0 The most happening place in America, sexually, is not singles bars\u2014it's from monogamous couples, with deep religious convictions.\u00a0 Second: Those who co-habitate, or live together before marriage, have a 50 percent higher divorce rate than those who don't.\u00a0 I mean, wait a minute!\u00a0\u00a0 Do you want it to last or not?\u00a0 Third: Those who abstain from sexual intercourse before marriage have the highest rates of <em>fidelity<\/em> in marriage.\u00a0 If you want your mate to stick with you, don\u2019t have sex before marriage.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you want to be trusted and you want to trust another person, the time to build that trust is not later on after you\u2019re married; it\u2019s now, as you establish that relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 The fourth reason is:\u00a0 The introduction\u2014listen, this is very important\u2014The introduction of sex in a dating relationship almost always ushers in the breakup of that relationship.\u00a0 That guy who says, \u201cIf you love me, you will,\u201d\u2014ladies, know for sure\u2014and that gal, now, in our day, who says to that man, \u201cHey, if you love me, you will\u201d\u2014you are signing the death sentence to that relationship.\u00a0 The entire dynamics of the relationship change once you have sex.\u00a0 The fifth reason is sexually-transmitted diseases, including AIDS, can remain dormant for up to a decade or more but be passed on to others during that time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, those five reasons\u2014I didn't open the Bible; but if you want your marriage to last, if you want to have great sex in marriage, if you want to have fidelity and want your partner and you to stick with the one you have, if you want to avoid sexually-transmitted diseases, and if you want the good relationship that you're in to be there, don't have sex.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, go back to the picture that you saw at the farmhouse where you were having dinner and ask the question, \u201cIf you want something less glorious than that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cIf you want something that's got conflict and tension in the marriage relationship, if you want something where one person is not home because she is out somewhere else with someone else, if you want something where the marriage is over after a few years, if you want less than the picture you saw, then, fool around\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but if you want that, if you want that ultimate goal that, really, our heart longs for\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014everyone has in his heart, I think, that cry to be in the kind of a relationship, the kind of environment that you describe.\u00a0 It\u2019s what got touched in you that night.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say, too, lest some dear, faithful, committed brothers listening to us\u2014or sisters\u2014think those are all very pragmatic reasons; but let me give you one that's <em>way<\/em> more important.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt says, \u201cBut let not immorality or any impurity or greed even be named among you as is proper among the saints.\u00a0 There must be no filthiness or silly talk or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather the giving of thanks.\u00a0 For this you know with certainty, that no immoral,\u201d\u2014sexually immoral\u2014\u201cor impure,\u201d\u2014sexually impure\u2014\u201cor covetous person, who is an idolater has an inheritance in the kingdom of God.\u201d\u00a0 God has spoken <em>definitively<\/em>.\u00a0 There\u2019re times that people say, \u201cOh, the Bible doesn\u2019t say sex before marriage is wrong\u201d\u2014Hello?!\u00a0 I mean, this is as direct as it can be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and I wish folks could read the mail bag here at FamilyLife, both the letters and the e-mails that come in and the stories where there are sub-cultures, where immorality is expected.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s a part of the neighborhood.\u00a0 Yet, we come in with a program like today, calling single people to abstain, to remain chaste\u2014and by the way, when we talk about abstaining from sex, we\u2019re not just talking about abstaining from sexual intercourse because we have a whole generation, now, that has <em>redefined<\/em> what it means to have sex with another person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re calling single people back to the Scripture that you read, Chip, which says, \u201cDon\u2019t let there even be a hint of sexual immorality be named among you.\u201d\u00a0 Now, Chip, as a single man or a single woman, who may be in the midst of this culture today, where do they start?\u00a0 They need to develop convictions; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 They really do, and I think they need to start with their mind.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that is out of vogue in our day is fasting.\u00a0 I think as beneficial as fasting from food has been in my life, especially during times of focused prayer\u2014one of the most revolutionary things that has helped me is a media fast.\u00a0 We are so inundated, and we're so saturated, that we have people who really love God\u2014I mean, they <em>love<\/em> God; but they're desensitized.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy challenge would be to take ten days and watch no movies, rent no movies, nothing on the TV\u2014just for ten days\u2014and spend that time getting God's Word in your life, putting positive things in your life\u2014work out, play music.\u00a0 What I will tell you is, \u201cTen days later, some things that just didn't even register will shock you.\u201d\u00a0 If you want to get really shocked, do a 30-day media fast; and you will turn on prime-time TV, and you\u2019ll go, \u201cWhoa!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That happened to us last summer because of travel and because of a television fast.\u00a0 Barbara and I, because of travel, ended up really fasting from TV and movies for all of July, August, and September.\u00a0 Now, I have to tell you, when I turned the TV on in October, and I saw what I saw, it was the very thing you're talking about, Chip.\u00a0 I was watching a sitcom that I've never seen before, and the contrast between the values and the message it was representing versus the Scripture\u2014well, there was no comparison.\u00a0 Why would I want to embrace that?\u00a0 Why would I want to fill my mind with that?\u00a0 I think, for a lot of families today, we don't realize what impact media is having on us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you left that farmhouse that night and you said, \u201cThis is what I want,\u201d did you develop a game plan in your mind?<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I really did.\u00a0 What I realized was\u2014if I was going to get there\u2014and this was the 70s, \u201cThe Sexual Revolution\u201d\u2014dorms were open, people were sleeping together, everything\u2014now, they do it; but it was a revolution back then.\u00a0 What I realized was I needed to develop a game plan to win.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy game plan had kind of a threefold approach.\u00a0 Number one:\u00a0 I had to develop convictions.\u00a0 I believe purity requires personal commitment to the truth.\u00a0 I need to believe that Ephesians 5:2-4 is really true.\u00a0 God has my best interests in mind.\u00a0 It does mean you memorize a couple of passages, you pray, you ask God.\u00a0 A conviction is not like, \u201cWell, this is nice when it's convenient.\u201d\u00a0 It is, \u201cThis is bedrock.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Give me an idea what one of your convictions looked like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0My conviction was I would not watch nudity of any kind.\u00a0 My conviction was I would not date an unbeliever.\u00a0 My conviction was I would not date a believer who was not totally committed to the Lord, with a common vision.\u00a0 I made pre-decisions like\u2014I still have these\u2014I just change them\u2014I will not go somewhere alone with another woman, other than my wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I've decided, for me, that I don't watch any R-rated movies.\u00a0 My mind is very sensitive.\u00a0 I had to develop convictions about what went into my mind.\u00a0 Then, that leads to the second.\u00a0 I made pre-decisions, or advance decisions; and that's an absolute necessity for sexual purity.\u00a0 You make advance decisions in the dating relationship:\u00a0 \u201cWhat time am I going to get her home?\u201d\u00a0 Advance decisions:\u00a0 \u201cWe won't be downstairs in the basement, unsupervised, lying around watching a movie.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI will tell you, you can love God as much as you want at 7:30 at night.\u00a0 You can be as committed to Christ\u2014the most committed, godly people in your singles group, your youth, whatever; and at 1:30 at night, after lying on the couch, watching movies and giving one other holy backrubs in the Lord, you will be someplace that you don't want to be.\u00a0 It's not that you don't love God.\u00a0 It's that you've made provision for the flesh.\u00a0 God made you to be attracted, and you put yourself in a situation that there's Plan A, \u201cFail;\u201d there's Plan B, \u201cFail;\u201d and there's Plan C, \u201cFail.\u201d\u00a0 The only way to win is you pre-decide, \u201cI won't go there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe third part was just, \u201cYou get accountability.\u201d\u00a0 I have men in my life, along with my wife, who ask me\u2014and I ask them\u2014\u201cSo how are you doing in these pre-decisions?\u201d\u00a0 I appreciate the reality of just saying, \u201cYou watched that a little too long.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 See, what we start doing is we start faking it and acting like we're doing a lot better.\u00a0 Every man, every woman, some part of some day, some week, or some month, we're blowing it; but when it gets to be where, \u201cOh, we would never, ever do that,\u201d you are setting yourself up for failure.\u00a0 When you blow it, when you own it, when you confess it, there is some level of, \u201cIt's humiliating.\u201d\u00a0 You know something?\u00a0 That is a very <em>good <\/em>thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's a very <em>purifying<\/em> thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 To have people in your life\u2014the accountability that you're talking about\u2014other men; other women, if you're a woman\u2014people that are going to ask you the questions, people who are going to\u2014I've never forgotten.\u00a0 Chuck Swindoll had a list of questions, \u201cHave you watched anything you shouldn't watch?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Question 7 was the one that I thought was the greatest question.\u00a0 It was, \u201cDid you just lie to me about any of those things?\u201d\u00a0 We need to be calling one another to account on those kinds of issues and get in each other's lives and each other's faces on this stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All week long, we've been speaking to singles and marrieds about the standards of Scripture and not being \u201cconformed to the world but being transformed by the renewing of our minds.\u201d\u00a0 I want to read a passage of Scripture that, I think, some of our listeners, right now, need to apply.\u00a0 It's found in the Book of 1 John, near the end of the New Testament.\u00a0 It's Chapter 1.\u00a0 It says, \u201cIf we say that we have fellowship with Him; and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.\u00a0 But if we walk in the light, as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus, His Son, cleanses us from all sin.\u00a0 However, if we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, here is the great promise of Scripture, \u201cIf we confess our sins, He\u201d\u2014that's Jesus Christ\u2014\u201c[Jesus Christ] is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.\u201d\u00a0 That passage, 1 John 1:9, that last verse that I just read, that's the essence of the Christian life.\u00a0 After you come to faith in Christ in the Gospel and you receive His forgiveness for eternal life, you then have to make that forgiveness a reality day-in and day-out.\u00a0 When you do blow it, or when you are accused in your conscience of where you failed in the past, the Scriptures say, \u201cIf you confess your sin,\u201d if you name it, He promises, \u201cHe is faithful and righteous to forgive you of that sin and to cleanse you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd say to any person right now, as we've talked about this sexual dimension of life, if you felt convicted by something you've done in the past or are doing in the present, there is no better day than right now than just to say, \u201cLord God,\u201d and then name a sin.\u00a0 Specifically name it before Him.\u00a0 He already knows it, anyway.\u00a0 Name the sin and say, \u201cThank You for dying on the cross for that sin.\u00a0 Thank You for forgiving it and now for cleansing me.\u00a0 Restore fellowship with You and help me to walk uprightly.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Then, at that point, develop some convictions, and set some boundaries, and get some accountability so that you're not going to get snared again.\u00a0 Because as soon as you do that, Dennis, you know who has you in his sights.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The Enemy wants to say, \u201cLet's put this new idealism to the test and see how you do.\u201d\u00a0 You're going to have something thrown right in your way.\u00a0 You've got to follow the kind of pattern that Chip was talking about us following.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The Enemy gets singles, as well as marrieds, in his crosshairs; and he uses this area of relationships to do it.\u00a0 I just say turn away from the temptations, and turn toward the Scriptures, and also turn toward good resources, like Chip's book here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChip, I just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to you for writing this book, and being honest and authentic, and for spending all week with us here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We wish you the best and pray God's favor on you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Dennis.\u00a0 It has been an absolute privilege to be with you and Bob.\u00a0 My prayer is that God might help some people avoid some of the big pitfalls that some of us have had in our journey.\u00a0 For those who have made those mistakes, to know, today, there is a loving Father Who longs to forgive and restore, no matter where you're at, no matter where they've been.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We haven\u2019t mentioned it this week, but folks who want to know more about your ministry, <em>Living on the Edge<\/em>, and find out more about the church where you serve as senior pastor, we\u2019ve got a link on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com to where you can get more information about Chip\u2019s daily radio program and find out more about the church he serves up in Northern California.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>We\u2019ve also got information, of course, on the website about the book that we\u2019ve been talking about this week, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships<\/em>.\u00a0 We can make arrangements to have a copy of Chip\u2019s book sent to you.\u00a0 All you have to do is go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 FamilyLifeToday.com is the website; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, I want to remind you that this weekend we are kicking off our spring season of <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to have hundreds of couples joining us this weekend, and thousands of couples throughout the spring, who will be getting together with us at one of these weekend getaways.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve never attended a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, whether you are married or considering marriage, this would be a great getaway for you and your spouse, or your fianc\u00e9.\u00a0 You can find out more about when the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> is happening in a city near where you live.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click on the link for the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>, and if you don\u2019t find a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> coming to your city or if the date doesn\u2019t work for you, you can also check into the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae video event.\u00a0 There are going to be hundreds of these events in locations all across the country this spring.\u00a0 So, you could sign up to attend an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> event when it comes near where you live.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you don\u2019t see one near where you live or if you\u2019d like to host one, it\u2019s easy for a couple to do this at your local church or to invite friends over and go through the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em> material.\u00a0 Find out more when you go to FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs always, we are grateful to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 We are listener-supported, which means that the only reason we are here today is because there have been some folks in the past who\u2019ve said, \u201cThis program is important for me, for my family, for our community.\u00a0 We want to help support it;\u201d and they have made a donation to make that possible.\u00a0 That is what being listener-supported is all about.\u00a0 We appreciate those of you who either donate monthly to help keep <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on this station or those of you who make a donation from time-to-time.\u00a0 We appreciate you, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you can help with a donation, we\u2019d love to send you a couple of resources that will help you as husband and wife more clearly and more effectively express your love for one another.\u00a0 We have two books.\u00a0 One is a book of tips for husbands about how to be romantic, and another is a book of tips for wives on the same subject.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlong with those books, we\u2019ll send you some prayer cards so you can be praying for one another more effectively.\u00a0 Again, these resources are just our way of saying, \u201cThanks for how you support this ministry;\u201d and we hope that the resources help support your marriage, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you make your donation online, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the box that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 That way, when you make the donation, the resources will be sent to you automatically; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone\u2014be sure to ask for the romance resources\u2014we\u2019ll know what you\u2019re talking about, and we\u2019ll be happy to get them out to you.\u00a0 Again, we do appreciate you and are always happy to hear from you.\u00a0 So, \u201cThanks,\u201d for whatever you are able to do in supporting the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and I hope you can join us back on Monday.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Gary:<\/strong>\u00a0 [recorded audio] A second love language is gifts\u2014gifts.\u00a0 Now, they don\u2019t have to be expensive gifts.\u00a0 \u201cHey, guys!\u00a0 You can get flowers free!\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Just go out in your yard and pick one.\u00a0 That\u2019s what your kids do.\u00a0 No flowers in your yard?\u00a0 Your neighbor\u2019s yard\u2014ask them\u2014they\u2019ll give you a flower\u2014or go to a funeral and ask the lady for a flower.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Gifts\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear from best-selling author, Dr. Gary Chapman, with some sound counsel on how to have a stronger, more healthy marriage relationship.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a9 Song\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <em>When I Fall in Love<\/em>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tArtist:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0Nat King Cole\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlbum:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 The Very Best of Nat King Cole\u00a0\u2117 Compilation 2006 Capitol\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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