{"id":302455,"date":"2012-02-09T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-09T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/tests-of-love-part-2\/"},"modified":"2012-02-09T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-02-09T17:00:00","slug":"tests-of-love-part-2","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/tests-of-love-part-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Tests of Love, Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your heart beats faster whenever this person appears.  But is it love?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-09.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.02M","filesize_raw":"24138896","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817],"tags":[4213,2991],"podcast_series":[7287],"cwp_profile":[3049],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302455","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","tag-love","tag-sex","podcast_series-love-sex-and-lasting-relationships","cwp_profile-chip-ingram","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302455\/tests-of-love-part-2","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302455\/tests-of-love-part-2","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"NCLQ39N761\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/tests-of-love-part-2\/\">Tests of Love, Part 2<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/tests-of-love-part-2\/embed\/#?secret=NCLQ39N761\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Tests of Love, Part 2&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"NCLQ39N761\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When Chip Ingram was a young man, he was very confused.\u00a0 Here is Chip.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was just graduated from college, 21, playing on an overseas basketball team; and we played a game.\u00a0 Afterwards, I meet a missionary, and his daughter is there.\u00a0 We ended up going for a picnic; and I mean it was like, \u201cThis is it!\u00a0 This is it.\u00a0 This is amazing.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe guys are starting to tease me until we get to Santiago, Chile.\u00a0 We get to Santiago, Chile\u2014do I need to go on?\u00a0 Santiago was number four, Argentina was number five, and it was like\u2014I literally had the infatuation experience with five different girls in about six weeks in six different countries.\u00a0 I didn't know <em>anything<\/em> whatsoever about being in love; but if you think that is love, you can get yourself in trouble in a hurry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, February 9th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 So, just how did Chip Ingram stay out of trouble, and how did he figure out which is the real thing?\u00a0 We\u2019ll find out today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 I kept having this story from the Bible running through my mind as we have been talking to Chip Ingram this week about love, infatuation, and all of that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's the story of Samson, Chapter 14 of Judges.\u00a0 I'll never forget the first time I read this.\u00a0 Samson went down to Timnah.\u00a0 He saw a woman in Timnah, one of the daughters of the Philistines.\u00a0 He came back; and he told his father and mother, \u201cI saw a woman in Timnah, one of the daughters of the Philistines.\u00a0 Now, therefore, go and get her for me as a wife.\u201d\u00a0 The father and mother said to him, \u201cIs there no woman among the daughters of your relatives, among all of our people that you can take for a wife\u2014but from the uncircumcised Philistines?\u201d\u00a0 Samson said to his father, \u201cGet her for me, for she looks good to me.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cIs that an adolescent boy right there or what?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is somebody who needs Chip Ingram's \u201cTests of Love\u201d to see whether it's infatuation or whether it's the real thing, baby; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I agree.\u00a0 I like what Chuck Swindoll says, \u201cSamson was a he-man with a she-weakness.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 We've all known a few of those\u2014if we haven't been one ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChip Ingram does join us, and we've kind of called the singles to attention\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 In fact, let me read a letter from a single, young lady.\u00a0 It says, \u201cMy name is Ashley.\u00a0 I'm 18 years old.\u00a0 I listen to your program every day.\u00a0 I started praying years ago that God would send me someone with specific qualities.\u00a0 Last year, I believe I met him.\u00a0 I always listen to your broadcast in hoping that I will be a great mom and wife one day.\u00a0 I know I'm young, but even now, I try my hardest to love my boyfriend as well as I can.\u00a0 I often pray and ask God for help; and I ask Him, \u2018How can I love my boyfriend today?\u2019\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYour broadcasts give me much insight, and I love listening.\u00a0 Thanks for reaching out to families in America.\u00a0 My family life is not that great, and I often feel completely unaware of what a good Christian mother is.\u00a0 When I hear loving, Christian mothers speak on your program, I feel my heart being filled with ways to be a loving mother and wife.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThank you so much.\u00a0 I love what you talk about.\u00a0 I truly use your program every day, and I just felt God telling me to tell you this.\u00a0 God bless you, (Signed) Ashley.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, I hope Ashley is listening today; and I hope she takes the \u201cTests of Love\u201d from Chip Ingram on our website at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 I hope she goes there and just runs through and decides whether her boyfriend really is the right one for her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's exactly right.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 There is a test there that you can click on, and there's 12 \u201cTests of Love\u201d that Chip has come up with.\u00a0 It won't take you long.\u00a0 It will just take you a little while to complete it, but it will be very helpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYesterday, Chip, we talked about the \u201cTest of Time\u201d\u2014how a relationship, that is really a quality relationship, needs to have some time, some water under the bridge.\u00a0 You talked, also, about the \u201cTest of Knowledge\u201d, which means you know the other person well enough that you know what they're about, and who they are, and that they're not hiding something.\u00a0 Then, we also talked about the \u201cTest of Focus\u201d.\u00a0 Is their focus on you, or is their focus on himself or herself?\u00a0 You also talk about the \u201cTest of Singularity\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, singularity means genuine love is centered on <em>only<\/em> one person.\u00a0 An infatuated individual may be in love with two or more persons, simultaneously.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second!\u00a0 You mean you could literally be in love with multiple people at the same time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, when you're <em>infatuated<\/em>, what I'm talking about these ooey-gooey feelings, this chemistry, this sense of lightheadedness, this sense of wonder, and, \u201cThis is great!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I think God gave me an experience that's very humiliating to share; but I was just graduated from college, 21, playing on an overseas basketball team, sharing Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd been in the Lord about four years, very growing; and I'm at the point\u201421\u2014I think, \u201cThis is my second summer out.\u201d\u00a0 Twenty-one\/twenty-two and my eyes are open like, \u201cWhere is that good person going to come from?\u201d\u00a0 I'm in the Dominican Republic, and we played a game.\u00a0 Afterwards, I meet a missionary; and his daughter is there.\u00a0 We end up going for a picnic; and I mean, it was like the water coming down through the mountains.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Cha-ching, bada-bing; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh, I just was\u2014\u201cThis is it!\u00a0 This is it.\u00a0 This is amazing.\u201d\u00a0 Now, I have to tell you that I wasn't in a deep relationship; but I had a girl back home that we'd not made any commitments, we weren't going steady.\u00a0 I think I'm falling in love with her, but I'm waiting to find out.\u00a0 Now, I meet this gal from the Dominican Republic, and it's \u201cWhoa!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we get on a plane, and we go to Peru.\u00a0 I'm sitting across from the President's Federation and their team, and this girl does not speak a lick of English.\u00a0 We just stare at each other during the meal.\u00a0 Afterwards, she comes over around to my side\u2014I know a little bit of Spanish.\u00a0 I find a little interpreter, and we take a walk through a city in Peru together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, is this a <em>third<\/em> girl?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is the<em> third<\/em> girl, and I'm thinking\u2014and this is like, \u201cWhoa!\u201d and the emotions are even <em>stronger<\/em> this time.\u00a0 I'm thinking, \u201cMan, I'm going psychotic.\u201d\u00a0 The guys are starting to tease me until we get to Santiago, Chile.\u00a0 We get to Santiago, Chile\u2014do I need to go on?\u00a0 Santiago was number four, Argentina was number five.\u00a0 It was like\u2014I literally had the infatuation experience with five different girls in about six weeks in six different countries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think this could be a new game, \u201cThe International Dating Game.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cThe International Dating Game.\u201d\u00a0 When I came home, what I realized was your emotions are emotions that click on, click off depending on the color of their eyes, the mood, the this, the that.\u00a0 I didn't know <em>anything<\/em> whatsoever about being in love; but if you think that is love, you can get yourself in trouble in a hurry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can beat that.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in a movie theater with a girl, who I took out on a date, who I really thought I liked; and I\u2019m falling for the girl on the screen simultaneously.\u00a0 I\u2019m sitting next to one and falling for the girl on the screen at the same time.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 We all have had that kind of a lightheaded experience.\u00a0 How does the \u201cTest of Singularity\u201d, then, work?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you really love a person, you may find yourself drawn or having some attraction\u2014and I think we need to say something right now to married men and to people that are married because this is also how affairs occur.\u00a0 If you think infatuation is love, you walk into Starbuck\u2019s\u2014the lady who happens to be there at the same time and is dressed rather nicely.\u00a0 She's kind of kind; or that guy who opens the door.\u00a0 You're married, and you've got two small kids; or you're under a lot of pressure, and you feel this weird kind of emotion kicking in\u2014all it means is there is some chemistry, biologically, between you and this person.\u00a0 You may be infatuated, but it has nothing to do with love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think it is, that\u2019s when people click into, \u201cThe movie I saw\u2014maybe, I don't really love my mate,\u201d rather than saying, \u201cWait a second.\u00a0 This can happen to anybody, anytime.\u201d\u00a0 We're attracted to the opposite sex.\u00a0 Infatuation is one thing; and you say, \u201cThat's what it is.\u00a0 It's nothing more.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let's talk about this fifth test.\u00a0 It's the \u201cTest of Security\u201d.\u00a0 How does love make us feel secure?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 The way I wrote it in this test is this way:\u00a0 An individual in love tends to have a sense of security and a feeling of trust after considering everything involved in the relationship with the other person.\u00a0\u00a0 However, an infatuated individual tends to have a blind sense of security based upon wishful thinking rather than upon careful consideration; or\u2014and I think this is the key\u2014he may have a sense of <em>insecurit<\/em>y that is sometimes or often expressed in jealousy.\u00a0 People that are very, very jealous tells you that, \u201cWait a second!\u00a0\u00a0 You don't trust the other person?\u201d\u00a0 It's not built on knowledge, time, and focus\u2014and, \u201cThis is the one person for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this idea of security is\u2014when you're in love, you're not uptight about watching your girl or your guy talk to someone else and immediately say, \u201cWhat did you talk about?\u00a0 Why were you with him?\u00a0 What's going on here?\u201d\u00a0 Those are all symptoms that you're infatuated; and you feel like you have to possess, contain, or control the other person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Chip, I think we need to talk to the guys here for just a second.\u00a0 This need for security is bone-deep\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in the heart of a woman.\u00a0 She needs to know that she is <em>safe<\/em> with you and that she is protected <em>emotionally <\/em>and <em>physically<\/em>.\u00a0 It's not just about being physically safe, but it's about emotional safety.\u00a0 Guys need to clue into that and provide that sense of security for their wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0They need to do that both with their actions, their attitudes.\u00a0 This phenomenon that we've talked about much on your program of pornography\u2014when you counsel and meet with the woman whose husband has been online, he thinks he's just looking at pictures and, \u201cWhat's the harm?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe devastation that occurs is, \u201cI don't measure up.\u00a0 I\u2019m not secure.\u00a0 What could be wrong in our marriage for him to be there?\u201d, or, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with this guy that I\u2019m dating\u2014that he needs to go there?\u201d\u00a0 All those things feed into a man creating security for a woman that says, \u201cI\u2019m here for you first spiritually, then emotionally, then socially together in relationships; and then, as we're married, I\u2019m here for you physically and vice-versa.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Pornography is an emotional betrayal\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and there are some single men who listen to our broadcast right now who don't necessarily connect what they're viewing on the internet, or what kind of magazines they purchase, or what they read, or the type of television shows they watch with their relationships with the opposite sex; but they <em>are <\/em>interconnected.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to really create security with a woman in a real, meaningful relationship, then, that means you have to give up the fantasies.\u00a0 You have to turn from what others would try to profit from in terms of pornography and turn toward a real person, work through the issues.\u00a0 I think, even in prime-time evening viewing, I think men and women need to be very careful about what they allow their eyes and their minds to feast upon.\u00a0 Again, keep pursuing the <em>real <\/em>relationship with a <em>real<\/em> person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou talk about, not only the \u201cTest of Security\u201d, but there is another test, the \u201cTest of Work\u201d.\u00a0 Now, what do you mean by that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 The \u201cTest of Work\u201d is that an individual that's in love is going to work for the other person and for their mutual benefit.\u00a0 If they need to study, if they need to get a job, it increases their desire to say, \u201cLet\u2019s make it together.\u00a0 Whatever it takes, I\u2019m going to work.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to finish school before we get married.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to work two jobs for a period of time so we can do what it takes.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA person, however, who is infatuated, tends to daydream; but often, the dreams aren\u2019t attainable.\u00a0 They kind of go into denial and say, \u201cSomeday, some way, this will all work out.\u201d\u00a0 When they get faced with very difficult situations that put a roadblock in the relationship, they're not willing to work.\u00a0 They are willing to say, \u201cWell, it will get better later.\u00a0 We're in love; I know it will just happen.\u201d\u00a0 That, simply, is not true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of our children came to Barbara and to me, asking for permission to get married.\u00a0 The young man was there; and he was asking, as well.\u00a0 I said, \u201cOkay, that means that you\u2019ll have to pay for her college education.\u00a0 You\u2019ll need to pick up all her expenses.\u00a0 Whatever we were helping with college and with her room and board, that is all on your shoulders as a young man.\u201d\u00a0 There was silence, and there was a gulp.\u00a0 You could tell, \u201cWell, let\u2019s think about this a little bit.\u201d\u00a0 To the credit of our daughter, and the young man, that relationship ultimately was broken off because he was not willing to be able to work toward what needed to happen to make the relationship a reality.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t willing to wait.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think many times there is an immature side of love that wants to run ahead, and it may ignore reality.\u00a0 In fact, it may be a lot like somebody approaching an intersection with a train that\u2019s crossing\u2014the bar that comes down to warn you that you need to stop; but instead, young people today can scoot around the bar, trying to beat the train across the intersection.\u00a0 That can cause a serious wreck, especially later on in that marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think, actually, even the next two tests are so interrelated.\u00a0 I'll highlight them because I think it's conceptual\u2014it comes together.\u00a0 You know the \u201cTest of Work\u201d, the \u201cTest of Problem-solving\u201d, and the \u201cTest of Distance\u201d.\u00a0 What I mean by that is\u2014because, often, when you have a big problem, you don't want to face it. \u201cIt will be okay.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWe come from different backgrounds\u2014Oh!\u00a0 It will be okay;\u201d \u201cWe can't economically do it\u2014It will be okay.\u201d \u201cYour mom isn't for it, and my dad's not for it\u2014It will be okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Love can conquer all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Right.\u00a0 The next one, number eight, there, is about distance.\u00a0 Sometimes, God puts you in a situation where, \u201cAre you willing to keep loving one another without that ongoing emotional touch and connection?\u201d\u00a0 That really boils down to the work of saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to become the right person while we're apart.\u00a0 We're going to build the relationship; we're going to talk deeply about what's going on.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe work of writing the letter, sending the e-mail, paying for the phone, keeping the phone bills under control.\u00a0 See, all these things are evidences of the kind of effort and energy that it takes to work hard, face problems, and go through some seasons where, even when you're far apart, you make it.\u00a0 You know there's the word, \u201cYou make it work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chip, if two people, who are not married, find themselves in conflict\u2014they\u2019re locked up and they don't know how to get out\u2014what are they doing with that, typically, these days?\u00a0 If they're not resolving the conflict, are they just breaking up, or do they have another way of coping with it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don't know how, frankly, to answer that question.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I will tell you is the typical way Christians and non-Christians are dealing with it is they're having sex.\u00a0 \u201cIt all feels better, and everything's okay;\u201d or Christian couples, who have made some level of commitment\u2014they push it down, express some levels of affection, go to a movie, go out to eat, have little <em>flare-ups<\/em>.\u00a0 What they are doing is creating unhealthy, dysfunctional patterns about conflict\u2014that they will be <em>amazed<\/em>, in marriage, that absolutely nothing changes.\u00a0 In fact, it gets bigger and worse.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, and instead of being able to resolve it with a quick, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 Let's kiss, make up, and make out\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and run to the physical side of matters to be able to solve their conflict\u2014later on, in marriage, that making up and that physical aspect of the sexual dimension of the marriage relationship may be one of the most difficult to move toward, after there has been a serious conflict in the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0In fact, if the average guy would really listen up right now\u2014because the average guy who is married to the average gal would like to have a lot more physical intimacy at a much deeper level than he's getting.\u00a0 What he doesn't understand is\u2014what you just said\u2014the conflict emotionally, the unresolved issues\u2014the not sitting down and paying the bills; not talking about, \u201cHow we're going to discipline our daughter;\u201d not going to the grocery store and, \u201cHelping me out,\u201d\u2014all those things that create conflict\u2014\u201cHow are we going to deal with the normal conflicts of your in-laws versus my in-laws?\u201d\u00a0 Believe it or not, that all goes <em>right<\/em> into the bedroom, if unresolved\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and where it goes is not a good place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You know, all of these tests are\u2014I'm going back to the analogy you used earlier this week\u2014it's a diagnostic tool like we'd use on a car.\u00a0 I take my car in from time to time.\u00a0 Well, I just had it in because I had to get the starter replaced, and they called me after they replaced the starter.\u00a0 They said, \u201cWe checked your brakes. You need front brakes, and one of these tires is looking pretty bad, too.\u201d\u00a0 So, I wound up with a new starter, new front brakes, and a new tire.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, before the starter went out, I thought the car was doing pretty well.\u00a0 I didn't really know anything about the brakes or about the tire that was a problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I've been to that car mechanic.\u00a0\u00a0 I've been there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, putting it up on the rack\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and running through all of the diagnostic tests is the way to tell\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Great analogy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014just how roadworthy is this vehicle?\u00a0 We've got to do that with relationships.\u00a0 I think one of the reasons you feel such a passion about that is because you went the extra mile in your relationship with Theresa.\u00a0 When the two of you were coming together as a couple, you said, \u201cWe've got to do this so we won't be sorry on the backend;\u201d and it's paid off for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0It really has, and we had\u2014we had <em>major <\/em>problems.\u00a0 We had <em>huge <\/em>issues.\u00a0 She had two small children and, \u201cOkay, how are we going to deal with that?\u00a0 What are all the issues, as a man, I have to deal with?\u201d\u00a0 She'd come to Christ after she had those children.\u00a0 \u201cAm I going to be a dad, and can I handle that?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I'll tell you what you don't say, \u201cWell, we love each other.\u00a0 Everything is going to be okay.\u201d\u00a0 How am I going to support that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was more and more involved in ministry, and I found myself for six or eight weeks in the Philippines.\u00a0 While we were separate\u2014and I found myself saying, \u201cOkay, where is this relationship now that there is no Theresa to look at, there is no Theresa to spend time with?\u201d\u00a0 What I found is I grew more in love with her as we were apart than I did together, and that was one of those tests that let me know God had done something in our hearts.\u00a0 This wasn't just an emotional connection.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All week long here, we have talked straight to both single and married alike about not marching to the drumbeat of the world but, instead, taking the high road, the road of Scripture.\u00a0 First Peter, Chapter 4, verse 8, says, \u201cAbove all, keep fervent in your love for one another because love covers a multitude of sins.\u201d\u00a0 That's our family's verse.\u00a0 If you have eight people in a family, you're going to need a love that covers a multitude of sins because that many human beings\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they can create a multitude of sins.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014a ton of sins.\u00a0 That's why the Scripture exhorts us, \u201cKeep fervent in your love for one another;\u201d and that's why, I think, whether single or married, we have to turn from the Hollywood version of love, which is dependent upon feelings, which is dependent upon what the other person does for us, and instead, deny ourselves and stay stretched out.\u00a0 That's what that word \u201cfervent\u201d means\u2014we need to stay stretched out in terms of seeking the best for that person we are trying to love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s just too bad that back in Judges 14, when Samson came home and said, \u201cShe looks good to me.\u00a0 Go get her for me,\u201d that Samson\u2019s father couldn\u2019t say, \u201cNow, son, look.\u00a0 Let\u2019s slow down here a bit.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go to\u2014if we go to FamilyLifeToday.com, let\u2019s get a copy of Chip Ingram\u2019s book, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships<\/em>; or we can take the online tests that they\u2019ve got there to see whether you\u2019re really in love or whether it\u2019s just infatuation.\u201d\u00a0 He might still have his hair today if they had gone to FamilyLifeToday.com and taken the tests.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014order a copy of Chip\u2019s book, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships\u2014<\/em>take the online tests that helps you determine whether you\u2019re in love or whether it\u2019s just an infatuation.\u00a0 If you\u2019re married or you\u2019re thinking about getting married, get more information about our upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways.\u00a0 We kick off our getaway season this weekend.\u00a0 There\u2019ll be thousands of couples heading out this weekend for a fun, romantic weekend getaway.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll be hosting these events throughout the spring in cities all across the country; or if you can\u2019t get to a getaway, have your <em>own<\/em> getaway.\u00a0 Get the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae video event kit.\u00a0 You can host a Friday night\/Saturday marriage event at your church, or in your community, or get a group of friends and go out to a lake house together, or spend some time at a camp ground or something, and watch these video sessions and, then, interact through the workbooks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got tools\u2014we\u2019ve got resources to help you navigate what can be tricky waters in this area.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also call for more information: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number.\u00a0 It is 1-800-358-6329, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, we\u2019ll answer any questions you have about the resources; and we can make arrangements to have the ones you want sent out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a group of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners that we always want to make sure we say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to here on our program.\u00a0 It\u2019s those of you, who on a monthly basis, help support this ministry as Legacy Partners.\u00a0 We appreciate your financial support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose of you who are able to make a donation on occasion, we very much appreciate your participation, as well.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t do what we do without you.\u00a0 The cost of producing and syndicating this program is something that our friends help make possible, and we appreciate that financial support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you are able to make a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a couple of resources\u2014a book for a husband and a book for a wife.\u00a0 These books have got some practical suggestions on how you can express your love for one another.\u00a0 There\u2019s a tips book for husbands and a tips book for wives.\u00a0 Along with the books, we\u2019ll send you a couple of prayer cards so you can be praying more effectively for one another, as well.\u00a0 Again, these resources are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d for your partnership with us.\u00a0 We appreciate your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and we hope these resources we\u2019ll help strengthen your marriage relationship, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMake a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, when you go to our website, and make your donation online; or call to make a donation at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Simply ask for your copy of the resources on romance that you\u2019ve heard us talk about on the radio, and we\u2019ll get those sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 If you think you\u2019ve found the right one and you\u2019re ready to take the plunge, be sure to tune in tomorrow because Chip Ingram has got a word of caution for you before you pop the question or say, \u201cI do.\u201d\u00a0 So, tune in for that tomorrow; alright?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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heart beats faster whenever this person appears. But is it love?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When Chip Ingram was a young man, he was very confused.\u00a0 Here is Chip.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was just graduated from college, 21, playing on an overseas basketball team; and we played a game.\u00a0 Afterwards, I meet a missionary, and his daughter is there.\u00a0 We ended up going for a picnic; and I mean it was like, \u201cThis is it!\u00a0 This is it.\u00a0 This is amazing.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe guys are starting to tease me until we get to Santiago, Chile.\u00a0 We get to Santiago, Chile\u2014do I need to go on?\u00a0 Santiago was number four, Argentina was number five, and it was like\u2014I literally had the infatuation experience with five different girls in about six weeks in six different countries.\u00a0 I didn't know <em>anything<\/em> whatsoever about being in love; but if you think that is love, you can get yourself in trouble in a hurry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, February 9th.\u00a0 Our host is the president of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 So, just how did Chip Ingram stay out of trouble, and how did he figure out which is the real thing?\u00a0 We\u2019ll find out today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 I kept having this story from the Bible running through my mind as we have been talking to Chip Ingram this week about love, infatuation, and all of that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's the story of Samson, Chapter 14 of Judges.\u00a0 I'll never forget the first time I read this.\u00a0 Samson went down to Timnah.\u00a0 He saw a woman in Timnah, one of the daughters of the Philistines.\u00a0 He came back; and he told his father and mother, \u201cI saw a woman in Timnah, one of the daughters of the Philistines.\u00a0 Now, therefore, go and get her for me as a wife.\u201d\u00a0 The father and mother said to him, \u201cIs there no woman among the daughters of your relatives, among all of our people that you can take for a wife\u2014but from the uncircumcised Philistines?\u201d\u00a0 Samson said to his father, \u201cGet her for me, for she looks good to me.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cIs that an adolescent boy right there or what?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 It is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That is somebody who needs Chip Ingram's \u201cTests of Love\u201d to see whether it's infatuation or whether it's the real thing, baby; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I agree.\u00a0 I like what Chuck Swindoll says, \u201cSamson was a he-man with a she-weakness.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 We've all known a few of those\u2014if we haven't been one ourselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChip Ingram does join us, and we've kind of called the singles to attention\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, we have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 In fact, let me read a letter from a single, young lady.\u00a0 It says, \u201cMy name is Ashley.\u00a0 I'm 18 years old.\u00a0 I listen to your program every day.\u00a0 I started praying years ago that God would send me someone with specific qualities.\u00a0 Last year, I believe I met him.\u00a0 I always listen to your broadcast in hoping that I will be a great mom and wife one day.\u00a0 I know I'm young, but even now, I try my hardest to love my boyfriend as well as I can.\u00a0 I often pray and ask God for help; and I ask Him, \u2018How can I love my boyfriend today?\u2019\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYour broadcasts give me much insight, and I love listening.\u00a0 Thanks for reaching out to families in America.\u00a0 My family life is not that great, and I often feel completely unaware of what a good Christian mother is.\u00a0 When I hear loving, Christian mothers speak on your program, I feel my heart being filled with ways to be a loving mother and wife.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cThank you so much.\u00a0 I love what you talk about.\u00a0 I truly use your program every day, and I just felt God telling me to tell you this.\u00a0 God bless you, (Signed) Ashley.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, I hope Ashley is listening today; and I hope she takes the \u201cTests of Love\u201d from Chip Ingram on our website at FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 I hope she goes there and just runs through and decides whether her boyfriend really is the right one for her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's exactly right.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLife.com.\u00a0 There is a test there that you can click on, and there's 12 \u201cTests of Love\u201d that Chip has come up with.\u00a0 It won't take you long.\u00a0 It will just take you a little while to complete it, but it will be very helpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYesterday, Chip, we talked about the \u201cTest of Time\u201d\u2014how a relationship, that is really a quality relationship, needs to have some time, some water under the bridge.\u00a0 You talked, also, about the \u201cTest of Knowledge\u201d, which means you know the other person well enough that you know what they're about, and who they are, and that they're not hiding something.\u00a0 Then, we also talked about the \u201cTest of Focus\u201d.\u00a0 Is their focus on you, or is their focus on himself or herself?\u00a0 You also talk about the \u201cTest of Singularity\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, singularity means genuine love is centered on <em>only<\/em> one person.\u00a0 An infatuated individual may be in love with two or more persons, simultaneously.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second!\u00a0 You mean you could literally be in love with multiple people at the same time?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, when you're <em>infatuated<\/em>, what I'm talking about these ooey-gooey feelings, this chemistry, this sense of lightheadedness, this sense of wonder, and, \u201cThis is great!\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 I think God gave me an experience that's very humiliating to share; but I was just graduated from college, 21, playing on an overseas basketball team, sharing Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'd been in the Lord about four years, very growing; and I'm at the point\u201421\u2014I think, \u201cThis is my second summer out.\u201d\u00a0 Twenty-one\/twenty-two and my eyes are open like, \u201cWhere is that good person going to come from?\u201d\u00a0 I'm in the Dominican Republic, and we played a game.\u00a0 Afterwards, I meet a missionary; and his daughter is there.\u00a0 We end up going for a picnic; and I mean, it was like the water coming down through the mountains.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Cha-ching, bada-bing; huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh, I just was\u2014\u201cThis is it!\u00a0 This is it.\u00a0 This is amazing.\u201d\u00a0 Now, I have to tell you that I wasn't in a deep relationship; but I had a girl back home that we'd not made any commitments, we weren't going steady.\u00a0 I think I'm falling in love with her, but I'm waiting to find out.\u00a0 Now, I meet this gal from the Dominican Republic, and it's \u201cWhoa!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we get on a plane, and we go to Peru.\u00a0 I'm sitting across from the President's Federation and their team, and this girl does not speak a lick of English.\u00a0 We just stare at each other during the meal.\u00a0 Afterwards, she comes over around to my side\u2014I know a little bit of Spanish.\u00a0 I find a little interpreter, and we take a walk through a city in Peru together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, is this a <em>third<\/em> girl?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is the<em> third<\/em> girl, and I'm thinking\u2014and this is like, \u201cWhoa!\u201d and the emotions are even <em>stronger<\/em> this time.\u00a0 I'm thinking, \u201cMan, I'm going psychotic.\u201d\u00a0 The guys are starting to tease me until we get to Santiago, Chile.\u00a0 We get to Santiago, Chile\u2014do I need to go on?\u00a0 Santiago was number four, Argentina was number five.\u00a0 It was like\u2014I literally had the infatuation experience with five different girls in about six weeks in six different countries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think this could be a new game, \u201cThe International Dating Game.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cThe International Dating Game.\u201d\u00a0 When I came home, what I realized was your emotions are emotions that click on, click off depending on the color of their eyes, the mood, the this, the that.\u00a0 I didn't know <em>anything<\/em> whatsoever about being in love; but if you think that is love, you can get yourself in trouble in a hurry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can beat that.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been in a movie theater with a girl, who I took out on a date, who I really thought I liked; and I\u2019m falling for the girl on the screen simultaneously.\u00a0 I\u2019m sitting next to one and falling for the girl on the screen at the same time.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 We all have had that kind of a lightheaded experience.\u00a0 How does the \u201cTest of Singularity\u201d, then, work?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you really love a person, you may find yourself drawn or having some attraction\u2014and I think we need to say something right now to married men and to people that are married because this is also how affairs occur.\u00a0 If you think infatuation is love, you walk into Starbuck\u2019s\u2014the lady who happens to be there at the same time and is dressed rather nicely.\u00a0 She's kind of kind; or that guy who opens the door.\u00a0 You're married, and you've got two small kids; or you're under a lot of pressure, and you feel this weird kind of emotion kicking in\u2014all it means is there is some chemistry, biologically, between you and this person.\u00a0 You may be infatuated, but it has nothing to do with love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you think it is, that\u2019s when people click into, \u201cThe movie I saw\u2014maybe, I don't really love my mate,\u201d rather than saying, \u201cWait a second.\u00a0 This can happen to anybody, anytime.\u201d\u00a0 We're attracted to the opposite sex.\u00a0 Infatuation is one thing; and you say, \u201cThat's what it is.\u00a0 It's nothing more.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let's talk about this fifth test.\u00a0 It's the \u201cTest of Security\u201d.\u00a0 How does love make us feel secure?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 The way I wrote it in this test is this way:\u00a0 An individual in love tends to have a sense of security and a feeling of trust after considering everything involved in the relationship with the other person.\u00a0\u00a0 However, an infatuated individual tends to have a blind sense of security based upon wishful thinking rather than upon careful consideration; or\u2014and I think this is the key\u2014he may have a sense of <em>insecurit<\/em>y that is sometimes or often expressed in jealousy.\u00a0 People that are very, very jealous tells you that, \u201cWait a second!\u00a0\u00a0 You don't trust the other person?\u201d\u00a0 It's not built on knowledge, time, and focus\u2014and, \u201cThis is the one person for me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think this idea of security is\u2014when you're in love, you're not uptight about watching your girl or your guy talk to someone else and immediately say, \u201cWhat did you talk about?\u00a0 Why were you with him?\u00a0 What's going on here?\u201d\u00a0 Those are all symptoms that you're infatuated; and you feel like you have to possess, contain, or control the other person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Chip, I think we need to talk to the guys here for just a second.\u00a0 This need for security is bone-deep\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in the heart of a woman.\u00a0 She needs to know that she is <em>safe<\/em> with you and that she is protected <em>emotionally <\/em>and <em>physically<\/em>.\u00a0 It's not just about being physically safe, but it's about emotional safety.\u00a0 Guys need to clue into that and provide that sense of security for their wives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0They need to do that both with their actions, their attitudes.\u00a0 This phenomenon that we've talked about much on your program of pornography\u2014when you counsel and meet with the woman whose husband has been online, he thinks he's just looking at pictures and, \u201cWhat's the harm?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe devastation that occurs is, \u201cI don't measure up.\u00a0 I\u2019m not secure.\u00a0 What could be wrong in our marriage for him to be there?\u201d, or, \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with this guy that I\u2019m dating\u2014that he needs to go there?\u201d\u00a0 All those things feed into a man creating security for a woman that says, \u201cI\u2019m here for you first spiritually, then emotionally, then socially together in relationships; and then, as we're married, I\u2019m here for you physically and vice-versa.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Pornography is an emotional betrayal\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and there are some single men who listen to our broadcast right now who don't necessarily connect what they're viewing on the internet, or what kind of magazines they purchase, or what they read, or the type of television shows they watch with their relationships with the opposite sex; but they <em>are <\/em>interconnected.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to really create security with a woman in a real, meaningful relationship, then, that means you have to give up the fantasies.\u00a0 You have to turn from what others would try to profit from in terms of pornography and turn toward a real person, work through the issues.\u00a0 I think, even in prime-time evening viewing, I think men and women need to be very careful about what they allow their eyes and their minds to feast upon.\u00a0 Again, keep pursuing the <em>real <\/em>relationship with a <em>real<\/em> person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou talk about, not only the \u201cTest of Security\u201d, but there is another test, the \u201cTest of Work\u201d.\u00a0 Now, what do you mean by that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 The \u201cTest of Work\u201d is that an individual that's in love is going to work for the other person and for their mutual benefit.\u00a0 If they need to study, if they need to get a job, it increases their desire to say, \u201cLet\u2019s make it together.\u00a0 Whatever it takes, I\u2019m going to work.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to finish school before we get married.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to work two jobs for a period of time so we can do what it takes.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA person, however, who is infatuated, tends to daydream; but often, the dreams aren\u2019t attainable.\u00a0 They kind of go into denial and say, \u201cSomeday, some way, this will all work out.\u201d\u00a0 When they get faced with very difficult situations that put a roadblock in the relationship, they're not willing to work.\u00a0 They are willing to say, \u201cWell, it will get better later.\u00a0 We're in love; I know it will just happen.\u201d\u00a0 That, simply, is not true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of our children came to Barbara and to me, asking for permission to get married.\u00a0 The young man was there; and he was asking, as well.\u00a0 I said, \u201cOkay, that means that you\u2019ll have to pay for her college education.\u00a0 You\u2019ll need to pick up all her expenses.\u00a0 Whatever we were helping with college and with her room and board, that is all on your shoulders as a young man.\u201d\u00a0 There was silence, and there was a gulp.\u00a0 You could tell, \u201cWell, let\u2019s think about this a little bit.\u201d\u00a0 To the credit of our daughter, and the young man, that relationship ultimately was broken off because he was not willing to be able to work toward what needed to happen to make the relationship a reality.\u00a0 He wasn\u2019t willing to wait.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think many times there is an immature side of love that wants to run ahead, and it may ignore reality.\u00a0 In fact, it may be a lot like somebody approaching an intersection with a train that\u2019s crossing\u2014the bar that comes down to warn you that you need to stop; but instead, young people today can scoot around the bar, trying to beat the train across the intersection.\u00a0 That can cause a serious wreck, especially later on in that marriage relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think, actually, even the next two tests are so interrelated.\u00a0 I'll highlight them because I think it's conceptual\u2014it comes together.\u00a0 You know the \u201cTest of Work\u201d, the \u201cTest of Problem-solving\u201d, and the \u201cTest of Distance\u201d.\u00a0 What I mean by that is\u2014because, often, when you have a big problem, you don't want to face it. \u201cIt will be okay.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cWe come from different backgrounds\u2014Oh!\u00a0 It will be okay;\u201d \u201cWe can't economically do it\u2014It will be okay.\u201d \u201cYour mom isn't for it, and my dad's not for it\u2014It will be okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Love can conquer all.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Right.\u00a0 The next one, number eight, there, is about distance.\u00a0 Sometimes, God puts you in a situation where, \u201cAre you willing to keep loving one another without that ongoing emotional touch and connection?\u201d\u00a0 That really boils down to the work of saying, \u201cI\u2019m going to become the right person while we're apart.\u00a0 We're going to build the relationship; we're going to talk deeply about what's going on.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe work of writing the letter, sending the e-mail, paying for the phone, keeping the phone bills under control.\u00a0 See, all these things are evidences of the kind of effort and energy that it takes to work hard, face problems, and go through some seasons where, even when you're far apart, you make it.\u00a0 You know there's the word, \u201cYou make it work.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Chip, if two people, who are not married, find themselves in conflict\u2014they\u2019re locked up and they don't know how to get out\u2014what are they doing with that, typically, these days?\u00a0 If they're not resolving the conflict, are they just breaking up, or do they have another way of coping with it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don't know how, frankly, to answer that question.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat I will tell you is the typical way Christians and non-Christians are dealing with it is they're having sex.\u00a0 \u201cIt all feels better, and everything's okay;\u201d or Christian couples, who have made some level of commitment\u2014they push it down, express some levels of affection, go to a movie, go out to eat, have little <em>flare-ups<\/em>.\u00a0 What they are doing is creating unhealthy, dysfunctional patterns about conflict\u2014that they will be <em>amazed<\/em>, in marriage, that absolutely nothing changes.\u00a0 In fact, it gets bigger and worse.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, and instead of being able to resolve it with a quick, \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u00a0 Let's kiss, make up, and make out\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and run to the physical side of matters to be able to solve their conflict\u2014later on, in marriage, that making up and that physical aspect of the sexual dimension of the marriage relationship may be one of the most difficult to move toward, after there has been a serious conflict in the relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0In fact, if the average guy would really listen up right now\u2014because the average guy who is married to the average gal would like to have a lot more physical intimacy at a much deeper level than he's getting.\u00a0 What he doesn't understand is\u2014what you just said\u2014the conflict emotionally, the unresolved issues\u2014the not sitting down and paying the bills; not talking about, \u201cHow we're going to discipline our daughter;\u201d not going to the grocery store and, \u201cHelping me out,\u201d\u2014all those things that create conflict\u2014\u201cHow are we going to deal with the normal conflicts of your in-laws versus my in-laws?\u201d\u00a0 Believe it or not, that all goes <em>right<\/em> into the bedroom, if unresolved\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and where it goes is not a good place.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You know, all of these tests are\u2014I'm going back to the analogy you used earlier this week\u2014it's a diagnostic tool like we'd use on a car.\u00a0 I take my car in from time to time.\u00a0 Well, I just had it in because I had to get the starter replaced, and they called me after they replaced the starter.\u00a0 They said, \u201cWe checked your brakes. You need front brakes, and one of these tires is looking pretty bad, too.\u201d\u00a0 So, I wound up with a new starter, new front brakes, and a new tire.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, before the starter went out, I thought the car was doing pretty well.\u00a0 I didn't really know anything about the brakes or about the tire that was a problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I've been to that car mechanic.\u00a0\u00a0 I've been there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, putting it up on the rack\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and running through all of the diagnostic tests is the way to tell\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Great analogy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014just how roadworthy is this vehicle?\u00a0 We've got to do that with relationships.\u00a0 I think one of the reasons you feel such a passion about that is because you went the extra mile in your relationship with Theresa.\u00a0 When the two of you were coming together as a couple, you said, \u201cWe've got to do this so we won't be sorry on the backend;\u201d and it's paid off for you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0It really has, and we had\u2014we had <em>major <\/em>problems.\u00a0 We had <em>huge <\/em>issues.\u00a0 She had two small children and, \u201cOkay, how are we going to deal with that?\u00a0 What are all the issues, as a man, I have to deal with?\u201d\u00a0 She'd come to Christ after she had those children.\u00a0 \u201cAm I going to be a dad, and can I handle that?\u201d\u00a0 Well, I'll tell you what you don't say, \u201cWell, we love each other.\u00a0 Everything is going to be okay.\u201d\u00a0 How am I going to support that?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was more and more involved in ministry, and I found myself for six or eight weeks in the Philippines.\u00a0 While we were separate\u2014and I found myself saying, \u201cOkay, where is this relationship now that there is no Theresa to look at, there is no Theresa to spend time with?\u201d\u00a0 What I found is I grew more in love with her as we were apart than I did together, and that was one of those tests that let me know God had done something in our hearts.\u00a0 This wasn't just an emotional connection.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All week long here, we have talked straight to both single and married alike about not marching to the drumbeat of the world but, instead, taking the high road, the road of Scripture.\u00a0 First Peter, Chapter 4, verse 8, says, \u201cAbove all, keep fervent in your love for one another because love covers a multitude of sins.\u201d\u00a0 That's our family's verse.\u00a0 If you have eight people in a family, you're going to need a love that covers a multitude of sins because that many human beings\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014they can create a multitude of sins.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014a ton of sins.\u00a0 That's why the Scripture exhorts us, \u201cKeep fervent in your love for one another;\u201d and that's why, I think, whether single or married, we have to turn from the Hollywood version of love, which is dependent upon feelings, which is dependent upon what the other person does for us, and instead, deny ourselves and stay stretched out.\u00a0 That's what that word \u201cfervent\u201d means\u2014we need to stay stretched out in terms of seeking the best for that person we are trying to love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s just too bad that back in Judges 14, when Samson came home and said, \u201cShe looks good to me.\u00a0 Go get her for me,\u201d that Samson\u2019s father couldn\u2019t say, \u201cNow, son, look.\u00a0 Let\u2019s slow down here a bit.\u00a0 Let\u2019s go to\u2014if we go to FamilyLifeToday.com, let\u2019s get a copy of Chip Ingram\u2019s book, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships<\/em>; or we can take the online tests that they\u2019ve got there to see whether you\u2019re really in love or whether it\u2019s just infatuation.\u201d\u00a0 He might still have his hair today if they had gone to FamilyLifeToday.com and taken the tests.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com\u2014order a copy of Chip\u2019s book, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships\u2014<\/em>take the online tests that helps you determine whether you\u2019re in love or whether it\u2019s just an infatuation.\u00a0 If you\u2019re married or you\u2019re thinking about getting married, get more information about our upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways.\u00a0 We kick off our getaway season this weekend.\u00a0 There\u2019ll be thousands of couples heading out this weekend for a fun, romantic weekend getaway.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ll be hosting these events throughout the spring in cities all across the country; or if you can\u2019t get to a getaway, have your <em>own<\/em> getaway.\u00a0 Get the <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae video event kit.\u00a0 You can host a Friday night\/Saturday marriage event at your church, or in your community, or get a group of friends and go out to a lake house together, or spend some time at a camp ground or something, and watch these video sessions and, then, interact through the workbooks.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got tools\u2014we\u2019ve got resources to help you navigate what can be tricky waters in this area.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 You can also call for more information: 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number.\u00a0 It is 1-800-358-6329, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, we\u2019ll answer any questions you have about the resources; and we can make arrangements to have the ones you want sent out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a group of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners that we always want to make sure we say, \u201cThank you,\u201d to here on our program.\u00a0 It\u2019s those of you, who on a monthly basis, help support this ministry as Legacy Partners.\u00a0 We appreciate your financial support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose of you who are able to make a donation on occasion, we very much appreciate your participation, as well.\u00a0 We couldn\u2019t do what we do without you.\u00a0 The cost of producing and syndicating this program is something that our friends help make possible, and we appreciate that financial support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you are able to make a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a couple of resources\u2014a book for a husband and a book for a wife.\u00a0 These books have got some practical suggestions on how you can express your love for one another.\u00a0 There\u2019s a tips book for husbands and a tips book for wives.\u00a0 Along with the books, we\u2019ll send you a couple of prayer cards so you can be praying more effectively for one another, as well.\u00a0 Again, these resources are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d for your partnership with us.\u00a0 We appreciate your support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and we hope these resources we\u2019ll help strengthen your marriage relationship, as well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMake a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, when you go to our website, and make your donation online; or call to make a donation at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Simply ask for your copy of the resources on romance that you\u2019ve heard us talk about on the radio, and we\u2019ll get those sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 If you think you\u2019ve found the right one and you\u2019re ready to take the plunge, be sure to tune in tomorrow because Chip Ingram has got a word of caution for you before you pop the question or say, \u201cI do.\u201d\u00a0 So, tune in for that tomorrow; alright?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302455"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302455"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302455"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302455"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}