{"id":302453,"date":"2012-02-07T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-07T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/gods-prescription-for-lasting-relationships\/"},"modified":"2012-02-07T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-02-07T17:00:00","slug":"gods-prescription-for-lasting-relationships","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gods-prescription-for-lasting-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"God&#8217;s Prescription for Lasting Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Find the right person, fall in love, set your hopes on them&#8211;that&#8217;s Hollywood&#8217;s path to finding a love.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-07.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.74M","filesize_raw":"23842864","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817],"tags":[4213,2991],"podcast_series":[7287],"cwp_profile":[3049],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302453","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","tag-love","tag-sex","podcast_series-love-sex-and-lasting-relationships","cwp_profile-chip-ingram","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302453\/gods-prescription-for-lasting-relationships","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302453\/gods-prescription-for-lasting-relationships","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"b0u3tb9RB7\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gods-prescription-for-lasting-relationships\/\">God&#8217;s Prescription for Lasting Relationships<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/gods-prescription-for-lasting-relationships\/embed\/#?secret=b0u3tb9RB7\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;God&#8217;s Prescription for Lasting Relationships&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"b0u3tb9RB7\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-07.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-07.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you take an honest, hard look at your life, are you the kind of person you\u2019d like to be married to?\u00a0 Here is Chip Ingram.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0I think the Scripture lays it out well, \u201cOkay, here is how to do relationships\u2014be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Well, guess what?\u00a0 Bees are attracted to honey.\u00a0 If you want a person who is other-centered, loyal, committed, caring, loving, who are they looking for?\u00a0 They are looking for someone like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, February 7<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Have you got what it takes to be at least half of a great relationship?\u00a0 We\u2019ll find out today.\u00a0\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to spend some time today talking about love and romance\u2014all of those warm\u2014it just kind of gives me the chills to even think about it; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we're going to actually speak directly to singles, who listen to our broadcast\u2014not that the married folks can't benefit from what we're going to talk about\u2014but the singles, I think, today, need a broadcast like today and, really, the rest of the week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 You think they're confused about love?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I certainly was when I was single.\u00a0 I didn't know what I was talking about, and to help us do that is Chip Ingram.\u00a0 Chip joins us for a second day.\u00a0 Chip, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Great to be with you all.\u00a0 Thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to start by asking you two gentlemen\u2014I'm going to answer the question myself, as well.\u00a0 \u201cHow much of your concept of love did you get from your parents, from Hollywood, or from the Christian community?\u201d\u00a0 The total needs to add up to\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 100 percent; okay?\u00a0 \u201cAs a single person, before you were married, how much of your concept of love did you get or did you receive from your mom and dad and their model, from Hollywood, music, and, third, the Christian community?\u201d\u00a0 Chip, do you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, I would say, probably, it was about maybe 5 or 10 percent max.\u00a0 I did not have a good church experience.\u00a0 God was something way far away and a lot of hypocrisy.\u00a0 My parents were good, moral people, not overly affectionate; but I'd give them 25 or 30 percent.\u00a0 So 10 and 30; but I would say 60, 65 percent was the songs going through my head.\u00a0 I can tell you the movies specifically of the 14, 15, 16, 17\u2014because I took those into my marriage.\u00a0 I thought, you know, \u201cI'm going to do this God's way, and we're going to walk hand-in-hand on the beach and have ooey-gooey feelings 'til Jesus comes back.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I learned that powerful theological truth that, \"Loves means never having to say you're sorry,\" from the movies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There's some great theology in that statement.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Actually, I've never forgotten, years later, watching Ryan O'Neal, who was in <em>Love Story.<\/em>\u00a0 It was Ali McGraw who said to Ryan O'Neal, \u201cLove means never having to say you're sorry.\"\u00a0 A few years later, he was in a movie called <em>What's Up, Doc?<\/em> with Barbra Streisand.\u00a0 At the end of the movie, he looks over at her, and he says, \u201cYou know, love means never having to say you're sorry,\" and Barbra Streisand said, \"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.\"\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 It was a great moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would have to score it pretty similarly to Chip.\u00a0 I don't know that I\u2014I went to church, growing up; but I don't know that I ever heard <em>anything<\/em> about love or romance at church.\u00a0 I mean, it didn't seem very theological; you know?\u00a0 We were talking about important social issues, not about love and romance.\u00a0 So I'd give church 5 percent, like you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy parents, I'd give them probably 25 percent.\u00a0 The lesson I learned from them is commitment, perseverance.\u00a0 I saw them persevere in a struggling, difficult time; and that was probably an important lesson to be burned into the heart and mind of a young man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when it comes to the emotional side of love, when it comes to passion or romance, I learned that from \u201cHerman's Hermits\u201d, baby.\u00a0 You know, that's where I learned it; and \"Something tells me I'm into something good.\"\u00a0 You know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A bunch of our listeners are going, \"Herman's Hermits?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0(sings) \"But I do know that I love you; and I know that if you love me, too, what a wonderful world this could be.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 (sings) \u201c\u2014Save your day job.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, Sam Cooke made a hit out of that, but \u201cHerman's Hermits\u201d kind of revised it in the '60s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, enough of the oldies here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 I look back over my life\u2014and the Christian community\u2014I'm sorry, but I don't remember any teaching.\u00a0 I give them zero; I really do.\u00a0 My parents\u2014I'm similar to you guys\u201420, 25 percent because of their model of persevering love for over 45 years.\u00a0 Hollywood gets the rest\u2014so\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 75 percent.\u00a0 You know, for me, Chip, it was James Bond.\u00a0 I mean, he shows us how to really demonstrate love, you know, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, come on!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, he was demonstrating <em>lust.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That's what he was demonstrating.\u00a0 Chip, you've written a book called, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships<\/em>.\u00a0 You talk about how Hollywood is giving us, really, four descriptions of what love is all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, Hollywood basically is saying that the whole key, if you listen\u2014and by Hollywood, I don't mean the actual place.\u00a0 I mean this culture that's grown up\u2014whether it's music, whether it's video games, whether it's prime time TV.\u00a0 It's all about, number one, \u201cFind the right person.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, it's built in our DNA that the whole thing about love is, \u201cThere's somebody out there\u2014you've got to go find them.\u00a0 And then, <em>fall<\/em> in love.\u00a0 It will be a dramatic, spine-tingling\u2014\u2018Oh!\u2019\u00a0 You look this look in your eyes; this feeling will come over you.\u00a0 Then, set your hopes and dreams upon them, and this person is going to come through and make your life.\u201d\u00a0 So, step one, \u201cFind the right person\u201d; step two, \u201cFall in love\u201d; step three, \u201cFix your hope and dreams on them\u201d; and then they do have a step four, \u201cWhen that doesn't work, go back to step one.\u00a0 You have the wrong person; so find someone else.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have cultivated and developed this idea that if you're not fulfilled, if it's not ooey-gooey, if things aren't going your way, if you don't feel accepted, affirmed, then you must be with the wrong person.\u00a0 So, find the right person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is interesting\u2014Hollywood does seem to have a formula.\u00a0 I mean, it seems to be focused on that other perfect person.\u00a0 The problem is, as the Scriptures teach, you\u2019re not going to find the perfect person.\u00a0 People are going to disappoint you; they're going to hurt you.\u00a0 So you need another plan\u2014a plan that Hollywood is not going to offer.\u00a0 You believe, as we do, that the Scriptures really represent a contrasting plan to that of our culture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to read a passage here because, I think, whether you're single or married, there are a lot of people who are being conformed to the world.\u00a0 I want to read this passage because this was one of the Bible passages that I cut my spiritual eyeteeth on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRomans, Chapter 12, 1 and 2, \"I urge you, therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.\u00a0 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there are two thoughts I want to say about this.\u00a0 Number one, if it looks like the world, sounds like the world, smells like the world, it probably is the world.\u00a0 Secondly, for that single person listening, who doesn't want what the world offers, and they see it for its lies\u2014instead, they want that which is good, acceptable, and perfect; and that is God's will.\u00a0 Now, the question is, Chip, \u201cHow can a single person find God's will when it comes to loving another person?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0I think the Scripture lays it out as well when He talks about who we are, new in Christ in Ephesians, and then talks about the transformation that occurs.\u00a0 When\u00a0\u00a0 Chapter 5 opens up, after we've been told, \u201cOkay, here is how to do relationships\u2014be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ, also has forgiven you.\u00a0 Therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children.\u00a0 Walk in love.\u201d\u00a0 How?\u00a0 \u201cJust as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us,\u201d\u2014a picture of as an offering, a sacrifice to God, a fragrant aroma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat model, I think, gives us the exact opposite prescription\u2014instead of finding the right person, it begins with <em>becoming<\/em> the right person.\u00a0 What does it mean to become the right person, an imitator of God?\u00a0 Become a kind, compassionate, tenderhearted, forgiving, other-centered person.\u00a0 That may sound not really nearly as cool, but you think about what kind of person do you want attracted to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, guess what?\u00a0 Bees are attracted to honey.\u00a0 If you want a person who is other-centered, loyal, committed, caring, loving\u2014who are they looking for?\u00a0 They're looking for someone like that.\u00a0 The number one thing is get our focus\u2014it's not that our eyes aren't up and we're not looking and allowing God to bring people into our lives; but you're looking through a lens that says, \"My focus is going to be on, \u2018I'm going to become the man or the woman God wants me to become.\u2019\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStep two is then, \u201cI'm going to walk in love.\u00a0 I'm not looking for an experience.\u00a0 I'm not looking for the ooey-gooey feeling or infatuation\u201d\u2014we'll talk about that later\u2014\u201cbut I'm going to become the right person.\u00a0 Then, I'm going to learn, by obedience, to take steps to put other people ahead of myself in these relationships with the opposite sex;\u201d and amazing things start to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Now, some singles will hear you talk about this and they'll say, \"Yes, yes, I've heard this be-the-right-person sermon before at the singles group.\u00a0 You know, I heard the guy talk about it, and I tried that for about 60 days, tried it for 90 days, and I still wasn't having\u2014nobody was asking me out.\u00a0 In fact, I was having better luck getting asked out when I was doing it the way the culture defines it.\u00a0 Now, I wasn't meeting many guys that I liked all that much, or any ladies that I really liked, but at least I was going out on Friday nights.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, and I would say to you, \u201cIf your goal was to go out, and if your goal is to date, and it's to do the system, then, probably don't focus on becoming the right person.\u00a0 Do it the world's way and get the world's results.\u201d\u00a0 If you want the kind of person we're looking for, it doesn't mean you don't go out at all; but what it means is, \u201cBoy, you put up a criteria, first for yourself and then for the other person where you say, \u2018I'm going to become the right person,\u2019 and, you know what?\u00a0 When you're the right person and you walk in love, you'll find yourself in totally different arenas.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are certain kinds of fish that you catch in certain kinds of ponds, and there's a different kind of fish that you catch in other kinds of ponds.\u00a0 The tragedy is, many of our single young people and not-so-young people are going to the same ponds that the world goes to.\u00a0 They know a verse and they say, \"I love God;\" and then they find themselves, two years, married to someone with no convictions, no trust, no character.\u00a0 It doesn't work; and then, are you ready for this?\u2014mad at God and come to guys like me, that are pastors, saying, \"Hey, what's the deal?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>Fix it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0I wish our listeners, at this point, could read some of the e-mails that we get\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh. Oh, man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because we get them over and over again from somebody\u2014and it always starts with that same, \"We got married seven years ago.\u00a0 It's been a downward spiral.\"\u00a0 Then, we get to the telling paragraph where, \"Both of us profess faith in Christ; <em>however,<\/em> there's a <em>difference <\/em>in the quality of that spiritual experience.\"\u00a0 You're right\u2014at that point, fixing things becomes a very challenging proposition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A part of what God calls us to is to get on the track of becoming the right person and to stay on that track, <em>regardless<\/em> of the circumstances that surround our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know we\u2019re talking to singles and talking about singles, but this applies just as much if you\u2019re in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 A lot of us got married, still had this squirrelly idea of what love and romance was supposed to be\u2014and this becoming the right person and learning it with contentment fits right in there; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh, you hit it because I've taught this on the radio twice now, and the response has been scary.\u00a0 We figured it would be mostly single people; but this mindset, if it's really, \u201cThe other person is going to come through for me,\u201d\u2014when you take this into marriage, it's as lethal, and deadly, and diseased as it is finding the right person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo we're both Christians\u2014I'm a leader in the church\u2014but you know what?\u00a0 I'm getting my view of romance from the Coors Light commercials, from the last two movies I've seen, from the shoot-'em-up James Bond equivalent of our day, and my wife isn't coming through for me like they are on TV.\u00a0 Guess what?\u00a0 I'm getting older, she's gaining weight,\u201d\u2014and, \u201cHe's not affectionate, and tender, and doing all the super, deep, sensitive, masculine stuff.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe women are buying into a false model, the men buy into a false model; and that's why, after the first three to five years being the number-one divorce rate time.\u00a0 You know, I don't need to tell you guys\u2014we jump quickly to it\u2019s people married 20 to 25 years is the second most current time of people getting divorced.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The nest starts to empty out, you start looking back at one another, and you go, \"This is what I've got now?\"\u00a0 There's a sense of, \"I don't want this.\"\u00a0 It's hard to underestimate the amount of subtle influence that we've gotten from the culture.\u00a0 I mean, we identified it at the beginning; but if you've been feeding your mind for the last 20, 25 years on movies, and television, and popular song in a marriage relationship, you get to that empty nest, and you look at the other person, and you go, \"No, I want something more.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The message of the culture is selfishness.\u00a0 \u201cHow does that person meet my needs?\u201d\u00a0 It's all about, back to what you said earlier, Chip, \u201cIt's finding the right person who can satisfy <em>me<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 When you quoted that Scripture earlier and you talked about becoming the right person and learning to love as that right person loves, you said a word that, I think, is very important for both singles and marrieds alike to embrace because it's at the core of what \"loving like God\" means.\u00a0 The word is \"sacrifice.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow did God love us?\u00a0 He <em>sacrificed<\/em> His own son.\u00a0 He <em>denied<\/em> His rights, and He pursued <em>us.<\/em>\u00a0 The kind of love the Bible talks about, that we are to have in all relationships, whether it\u2019s our roommates as single people, as husbands and wives, for our children when they disappoint us, extended family members\u2014at the core of the Christian message, is the concept that you must deny yourself, you must embrace <em>selflessness<\/em>, <em>not<\/em> selfishness.\u00a0 That's hard for singles or marrieds to embrace.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I would say there\u2014I think, critical is\u2014one, \u201cLet's give them a good definition,\u201d because when we're talking about love, people's ears perked up, and they're listening in the car.\u00a0 Love is, biblically, giving the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least.\u00a0 That's not an emotional response.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Say that again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's giving the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least.\u00a0 That is a picture of what Jesus did for us.\u00a0 The other thing we need to say\u2014because, you know\u2014for all those people, like me, who grew up and, as a Christian couple, three, four years\u2014and it was, like, \u201cHey, this isn't really working, but I know it's really true,\u201d\u2014is we need to remind people, \u201cThe payoff we're talking about is richer, better, deeper, in <em>every way<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, I'm going to just go out there and say\u2014not just relationally, not just emotionally\u2014<em>sexually<\/em>\u2014but there's a long fuse.\u00a0 When you walk in love, when you put the other person first, I've got news for you, \u201cWill you be in a minority and get less dates?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Are you going to narrow the field?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Is it going to be harder in your relationship?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 When you sow that, sow that, sow that, are you going to reap an awesome, deep, loving, spiritually-, emotionally-, physically-satisfying relationship?\u00a0 Yes!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is not about, \u201cWhat's wrong with everyone?\u201d\u00a0 This is about, \u201cGod wants the best!\u201d\u00a0 I mean, come on, people, look at what's happening with your fellow Christians and marriages.\u00a0 It ain't working!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is about, \u201cLet's help people get on board with what God wants to give them, but what we don't want is the process.\u201d\u00a0 Everyone wants the product--God's saying, \"Hey, please, My children, would you turn away from the world and come back to Me and do it My way?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A number of years ago, I had the opportunity to do some premarital counseling for a couple\u2014some friends of mine that I knew, who asked me if I'd take them through some premarital instruction.\u00a0 The first thing we did, the first night we got together, I said, \"Grab a piece of paper.\u00a0 Write down your definition of love,\"\u2014the first thing I had them do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey wrote it down; and I said, \"Now, just tuck that away.\u00a0 I don't even need to read it; don't need to see it.\u00a0 I just want you to tuck it away.\"\u00a0 My goal over the next few sessions that we got together was to teach them the kind of a definition you just gave us.\u00a0 I said, \"Really, we're talking about commitment, bedrock commitment, and self-sacrifice.\u00a0 That's what love is.\u00a0 That's what he Bible models.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of the premarital counseling, I had them get out their definitions of love.\u00a0 This time, I asked them if I could see it.\u00a0 It was just what you would expect from two people who are infatuated with one another.\u00a0 You know, it was all about, \u201cLove is a warm rain on a spring day,\" and, \"It's the person that you can hold hands with and somebody who knows what you're thinking even before\"\u2014all of that is wonderful stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when the going gets tough, that's not love; and there are going to be days when it's a cold rain and a November day.\u00a0 You're not going to want to walk in it, and nobody's holding your hand, and nobody knows what you're thinking, and you're going to go, \"This is pretty miserable.\"\u00a0 That's when commitment and self-sacrifice have to step up to the plate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is what I really fear for.\u00a0 We have a generation of young people, today, who have gained their image of what love is all about from all these sources; and it won't work.\u00a0 It is going to fail them!\u00a0 That's why we <em>need<\/em> to get back to the book, the Bible.\u00a0 We have to get back to the spiritual community of the church, the local body of believers, where we are teaching and training single people and married people how to be <em>great lovers<\/em>.\u00a0 I'm not talking about romance here, in terms of sex.\u00a0 I'm talking about romancing another person for a lifetime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChip, you tell a story, in your book, about a man who worked on Wall Street, who finally got a picture, a biblical picture, on how to love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, he actually was probably listening to something\u2014a program just about like this\u2014and they quoted the verse about loving your wife the way Christ loved the church\u2014sacrificially.\u00a0 He's in the car, high-powered, high-pressure job; and they're going to this cottage on the beach.\u00a0 He just decides, \"I'm going to try this.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey get out of the car and, of course, he wants to go sit down or relax.\u00a0 You know, get the paper\u2014She goes, \"Honey, why don't we take a walk?\"\u00a0 Before it could come out of his mouth, he said, \"Okay.\"\u00a0 Then later, it was, you know, \"The kids are coming down.\u00a0 Why don't we go fly kites?\"\u00a0 Of course, he wanted to go fishing.\u00a0 Anyway, for four or five, six days\u2014everything she wanted to do and, you know, with good balance, he literally just said, \"I'm going to experiment.\"\u00a0 He <em>radically<\/em> loved his wife sacrificially.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of the time, she got real quiet and was really afraid. She goes, \"I've got to ask you something.\"\u00a0 He said, \"Well, what's wrong?\"\u00a0 I mean, she looks like there is a major, major problem here.\u00a0 She looked at him, and she says, \"Honey, am I dying?\"\u00a0 He said, \"What?\u00a0 What do you mean?\"\u00a0 \"Well, the way you've treated me, I just assumed that maybe I was dying and you wanted to just love me in a way like never before.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe tells the story; and he says, \"You know something?\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 What a commentary on my love\u2014when I love my wife the way Christ does, that she is so overwhelmed and it's so different, she thinks she's dying.\"\u00a0 He said, \"You know what?\u00a0 I took that one home.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, too, because a lot of guys are saying, \"Yes, but what about me?\"\u00a0 When you love your wife like that, there's a lot of amazing ways your wife will want to love you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Learn how to be a sacrificial lover of other people.\u00a0 In all that, you're going to become the right person and be, in the process, I think, of ultimately proving what God's will is for your life.\u00a0 That may include a mate at some point in the future.\u00a0 It may not; but if it doesn't, you've still become a great lover of people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There's a little quiz you can take on the internet that gives you an evaluation; doesn't it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The 12 \u201cTests of Love\u201d from Chip's book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that would be a great idea, just to take that test and see how well you know how to love right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was just going to say, \u201cIt's very quick.\u00a0 You can answer 12 questions and know whether you're in love or infatuated.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I like that\u2014quick and simple.\u00a0 It is on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Go there to take the quiz; and you can also get information about Chip\u2019s book, which is called <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships.<\/em> We can get a copy of it sent out to you.\u00a0 Again the website: FamilyLifeToday.com, or call toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word ,\u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention there is information on our website about our upcoming FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember\u00ae <\/em>marriage getaways.\u00a0 They kick off this weekend and continue through the spring.\u00a0 If there is not a getaway coming to your city this spring and you\u2019d still like to do something special for your marriage and for marriages in your community, you can host an <em>Art of Marriage\u00ae <\/em>video event.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how you can do it.\u00a0 By the way, it is really easy and fun for folks to do.\u00a0 We\u2019ve had thousands of people now who have hosted one of these events in their church or in their community, and the response has been just wonderful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like more information about how you can have an impact on marriages in your community, among your friends, or within your church, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Find out about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> video event, or find out about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd as always, we are grateful for those of you who, not only listen to <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> but you keep in touch with us, let us know that the program is having an impact in your marriage, in your family, and in your life.\u00a0 We appreciate that kind of feedback.\u00a0 We also are grateful for the financial support that some of you are able to provide to help this program continue on this station and on our network of stations all around the country and via the internet, all around the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you\u2019re able to help with a donation of any amount, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a couple of very helpful books\u2014practical, creative ways that you can express your affection, your fondness for your spouse.\u00a0 There is a book of romantic tips for husbands, and another book of romantic tips for wives.\u00a0 Along with the books, we\u2019ll send two prayer cards so that each of you can be praying for one another more effectively.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, these resources are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d for your financial support.\u00a0 Make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Just click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and make your online donation.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send these resources out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr if you want to make a donation over the phone, call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 When you make your donation, just mention that you\u2019d like the resources on romance that I was talking about on the radio.\u00a0 They\u2019ll know what you mean, and we\u2019ll be happy to send those out to you.\u00a0 And again, we very much appreciate your financial support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we\u2019re going to talk about how you can tell if you\u2019re really in love and how you can tell if the person you think you\u2019re really in love with is the right kind of person to be in love with.\u00a0 Chip Ingram is going to be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be back, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.74M"],"filesize_raw":["23842864"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302453.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302453.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom 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the right person, fall in love, set your hopes on them--that's Hollywood's path to finding a love.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-07.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you take an honest, hard look at your life, are you the kind of person you\u2019d like to be married to?\u00a0 Here is Chip Ingram.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0I think the Scripture lays it out well, \u201cOkay, here is how to do relationships\u2014be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 Well, guess what?\u00a0 Bees are attracted to honey.\u00a0 If you want a person who is other-centered, loyal, committed, caring, loving, who are they looking for?\u00a0 They are looking for someone like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, February 7<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Have you got what it takes to be at least half of a great relationship?\u00a0 We\u2019ll find out today.\u00a0\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Tuesday edition.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to spend some time today talking about love and romance\u2014all of those warm\u2014it just kind of gives me the chills to even think about it; you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we're going to actually speak directly to singles, who listen to our broadcast\u2014not that the married folks can't benefit from what we're going to talk about\u2014but the singles, I think, today, need a broadcast like today and, really, the rest of the week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 You think they're confused about love?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I certainly was when I was single.\u00a0 I didn't know what I was talking about, and to help us do that is Chip Ingram.\u00a0 Chip joins us for a second day.\u00a0 Chip, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Great to be with you all.\u00a0 Thank you very much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to start by asking you two gentlemen\u2014I'm going to answer the question myself, as well.\u00a0 \u201cHow much of your concept of love did you get from your parents, from Hollywood, or from the Christian community?\u201d\u00a0 The total needs to add up to\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 100 percent; okay?\u00a0 \u201cAs a single person, before you were married, how much of your concept of love did you get or did you receive from your mom and dad and their model, from Hollywood, music, and, third, the Christian community?\u201d\u00a0 Chip, do you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, I would say, probably, it was about maybe 5 or 10 percent max.\u00a0 I did not have a good church experience.\u00a0 God was something way far away and a lot of hypocrisy.\u00a0 My parents were good, moral people, not overly affectionate; but I'd give them 25 or 30 percent.\u00a0 So 10 and 30; but I would say 60, 65 percent was the songs going through my head.\u00a0 I can tell you the movies specifically of the 14, 15, 16, 17\u2014because I took those into my marriage.\u00a0 I thought, you know, \u201cI'm going to do this God's way, and we're going to walk hand-in-hand on the beach and have ooey-gooey feelings 'til Jesus comes back.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I learned that powerful theological truth that, \"Loves means never having to say you're sorry,\" from the movies.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There's some great theology in that statement.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Actually, I've never forgotten, years later, watching Ryan O'Neal, who was in <em>Love Story.<\/em>\u00a0 It was Ali McGraw who said to Ryan O'Neal, \u201cLove means never having to say you're sorry.\"\u00a0 A few years later, he was in a movie called <em>What's Up, Doc?<\/em> with Barbra Streisand.\u00a0 At the end of the movie, he looks over at her, and he says, \u201cYou know, love means never having to say you're sorry,\" and Barbra Streisand said, \"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.\"\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 It was a great moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would have to score it pretty similarly to Chip.\u00a0 I don't know that I\u2014I went to church, growing up; but I don't know that I ever heard <em>anything<\/em> about love or romance at church.\u00a0 I mean, it didn't seem very theological; you know?\u00a0 We were talking about important social issues, not about love and romance.\u00a0 So I'd give church 5 percent, like you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy parents, I'd give them probably 25 percent.\u00a0 The lesson I learned from them is commitment, perseverance.\u00a0 I saw them persevere in a struggling, difficult time; and that was probably an important lesson to be burned into the heart and mind of a young man.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when it comes to the emotional side of love, when it comes to passion or romance, I learned that from \u201cHerman's Hermits\u201d, baby.\u00a0 You know, that's where I learned it; and \"Something tells me I'm into something good.\"\u00a0 You know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A bunch of our listeners are going, \"Herman's Hermits?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0(sings) \"But I do know that I love you; and I know that if you love me, too, what a wonderful world this could be.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 (sings) \u201c\u2014Save your day job.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, Sam Cooke made a hit out of that, but \u201cHerman's Hermits\u201d kind of revised it in the '60s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, enough of the oldies here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 I look back over my life\u2014and the Christian community\u2014I'm sorry, but I don't remember any teaching.\u00a0 I give them zero; I really do.\u00a0 My parents\u2014I'm similar to you guys\u201420, 25 percent because of their model of persevering love for over 45 years.\u00a0 Hollywood gets the rest\u2014so\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 75 percent.\u00a0 You know, for me, Chip, it was James Bond.\u00a0 I mean, he shows us how to really demonstrate love, you know, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, come on!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Actually, he was demonstrating <em>lust.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>That's what he was demonstrating.\u00a0 Chip, you've written a book called, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships<\/em>.\u00a0 You talk about how Hollywood is giving us, really, four descriptions of what love is all about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, Hollywood basically is saying that the whole key, if you listen\u2014and by Hollywood, I don't mean the actual place.\u00a0 I mean this culture that's grown up\u2014whether it's music, whether it's video games, whether it's prime time TV.\u00a0 It's all about, number one, \u201cFind the right person.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, it's built in our DNA that the whole thing about love is, \u201cThere's somebody out there\u2014you've got to go find them.\u00a0 And then, <em>fall<\/em> in love.\u00a0 It will be a dramatic, spine-tingling\u2014\u2018Oh!\u2019\u00a0 You look this look in your eyes; this feeling will come over you.\u00a0 Then, set your hopes and dreams upon them, and this person is going to come through and make your life.\u201d\u00a0 So, step one, \u201cFind the right person\u201d; step two, \u201cFall in love\u201d; step three, \u201cFix your hope and dreams on them\u201d; and then they do have a step four, \u201cWhen that doesn't work, go back to step one.\u00a0 You have the wrong person; so find someone else.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have cultivated and developed this idea that if you're not fulfilled, if it's not ooey-gooey, if things aren't going your way, if you don't feel accepted, affirmed, then you must be with the wrong person.\u00a0 So, find the right person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is interesting\u2014Hollywood does seem to have a formula.\u00a0 I mean, it seems to be focused on that other perfect person.\u00a0 The problem is, as the Scriptures teach, you\u2019re not going to find the perfect person.\u00a0 People are going to disappoint you; they're going to hurt you.\u00a0 So you need another plan\u2014a plan that Hollywood is not going to offer.\u00a0 You believe, as we do, that the Scriptures really represent a contrasting plan to that of our culture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to read a passage here because, I think, whether you're single or married, there are a lot of people who are being conformed to the world.\u00a0 I want to read this passage because this was one of the Bible passages that I cut my spiritual eyeteeth on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRomans, Chapter 12, 1 and 2, \"I urge you, therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.\u00a0 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, there are two thoughts I want to say about this.\u00a0 Number one, if it looks like the world, sounds like the world, smells like the world, it probably is the world.\u00a0 Secondly, for that single person listening, who doesn't want what the world offers, and they see it for its lies\u2014instead, they want that which is good, acceptable, and perfect; and that is God's will.\u00a0 Now, the question is, Chip, \u201cHow can a single person find God's will when it comes to loving another person?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0I think the Scripture lays it out as well when He talks about who we are, new in Christ in Ephesians, and then talks about the transformation that occurs.\u00a0 When\u00a0\u00a0 Chapter 5 opens up, after we've been told, \u201cOkay, here is how to do relationships\u2014be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ, also has forgiven you.\u00a0 Therefore, be imitators of God as beloved children.\u00a0 Walk in love.\u201d\u00a0 How?\u00a0 \u201cJust as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us,\u201d\u2014a picture of as an offering, a sacrifice to God, a fragrant aroma.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat model, I think, gives us the exact opposite prescription\u2014instead of finding the right person, it begins with <em>becoming<\/em> the right person.\u00a0 What does it mean to become the right person, an imitator of God?\u00a0 Become a kind, compassionate, tenderhearted, forgiving, other-centered person.\u00a0 That may sound not really nearly as cool, but you think about what kind of person do you want attracted to you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, guess what?\u00a0 Bees are attracted to honey.\u00a0 If you want a person who is other-centered, loyal, committed, caring, loving\u2014who are they looking for?\u00a0 They're looking for someone like that.\u00a0 The number one thing is get our focus\u2014it's not that our eyes aren't up and we're not looking and allowing God to bring people into our lives; but you're looking through a lens that says, \"My focus is going to be on, \u2018I'm going to become the man or the woman God wants me to become.\u2019\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tStep two is then, \u201cI'm going to walk in love.\u00a0 I'm not looking for an experience.\u00a0 I'm not looking for the ooey-gooey feeling or infatuation\u201d\u2014we'll talk about that later\u2014\u201cbut I'm going to become the right person.\u00a0 Then, I'm going to learn, by obedience, to take steps to put other people ahead of myself in these relationships with the opposite sex;\u201d and amazing things start to happen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Now, some singles will hear you talk about this and they'll say, \"Yes, yes, I've heard this be-the-right-person sermon before at the singles group.\u00a0 You know, I heard the guy talk about it, and I tried that for about 60 days, tried it for 90 days, and I still wasn't having\u2014nobody was asking me out.\u00a0 In fact, I was having better luck getting asked out when I was doing it the way the culture defines it.\u00a0 Now, I wasn't meeting many guys that I liked all that much, or any ladies that I really liked, but at least I was going out on Friday nights.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, and I would say to you, \u201cIf your goal was to go out, and if your goal is to date, and it's to do the system, then, probably don't focus on becoming the right person.\u00a0 Do it the world's way and get the world's results.\u201d\u00a0 If you want the kind of person we're looking for, it doesn't mean you don't go out at all; but what it means is, \u201cBoy, you put up a criteria, first for yourself and then for the other person where you say, \u2018I'm going to become the right person,\u2019 and, you know what?\u00a0 When you're the right person and you walk in love, you'll find yourself in totally different arenas.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are certain kinds of fish that you catch in certain kinds of ponds, and there's a different kind of fish that you catch in other kinds of ponds.\u00a0 The tragedy is, many of our single young people and not-so-young people are going to the same ponds that the world goes to.\u00a0 They know a verse and they say, \"I love God;\" and then they find themselves, two years, married to someone with no convictions, no trust, no character.\u00a0 It doesn't work; and then, are you ready for this?\u2014mad at God and come to guys like me, that are pastors, saying, \"Hey, what's the deal?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong><strong>\u201c<\/strong>Fix it!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0I wish our listeners, at this point, could read some of the e-mails that we get\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh. Oh, man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because we get them over and over again from somebody\u2014and it always starts with that same, \"We got married seven years ago.\u00a0 It's been a downward spiral.\"\u00a0 Then, we get to the telling paragraph where, \"Both of us profess faith in Christ; <em>however,<\/em> there's a <em>difference <\/em>in the quality of that spiritual experience.\"\u00a0 You're right\u2014at that point, fixing things becomes a very challenging proposition.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A part of what God calls us to is to get on the track of becoming the right person and to stay on that track, <em>regardless<\/em> of the circumstances that surround our lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know we\u2019re talking to singles and talking about singles, but this applies just as much if you\u2019re in a marriage relationship.\u00a0 A lot of us got married, still had this squirrelly idea of what love and romance was supposed to be\u2014and this becoming the right person and learning it with contentment fits right in there; doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh, you hit it because I've taught this on the radio twice now, and the response has been scary.\u00a0 We figured it would be mostly single people; but this mindset, if it's really, \u201cThe other person is going to come through for me,\u201d\u2014when you take this into marriage, it's as lethal, and deadly, and diseased as it is finding the right person.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo we're both Christians\u2014I'm a leader in the church\u2014but you know what?\u00a0 I'm getting my view of romance from the Coors Light commercials, from the last two movies I've seen, from the shoot-'em-up James Bond equivalent of our day, and my wife isn't coming through for me like they are on TV.\u00a0 Guess what?\u00a0 I'm getting older, she's gaining weight,\u201d\u2014and, \u201cHe's not affectionate, and tender, and doing all the super, deep, sensitive, masculine stuff.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe women are buying into a false model, the men buy into a false model; and that's why, after the first three to five years being the number-one divorce rate time.\u00a0 You know, I don't need to tell you guys\u2014we jump quickly to it\u2019s people married 20 to 25 years is the second most current time of people getting divorced.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The nest starts to empty out, you start looking back at one another, and you go, \"This is what I've got now?\"\u00a0 There's a sense of, \"I don't want this.\"\u00a0 It's hard to underestimate the amount of subtle influence that we've gotten from the culture.\u00a0 I mean, we identified it at the beginning; but if you've been feeding your mind for the last 20, 25 years on movies, and television, and popular song in a marriage relationship, you get to that empty nest, and you look at the other person, and you go, \"No, I want something more.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The message of the culture is selfishness.\u00a0 \u201cHow does that person meet my needs?\u201d\u00a0 It's all about, back to what you said earlier, Chip, \u201cIt's finding the right person who can satisfy <em>me<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 When you quoted that Scripture earlier and you talked about becoming the right person and learning to love as that right person loves, you said a word that, I think, is very important for both singles and marrieds alike to embrace because it's at the core of what \"loving like God\" means.\u00a0 The word is \"sacrifice.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHow did God love us?\u00a0 He <em>sacrificed<\/em> His own son.\u00a0 He <em>denied<\/em> His rights, and He pursued <em>us.<\/em>\u00a0 The kind of love the Bible talks about, that we are to have in all relationships, whether it\u2019s our roommates as single people, as husbands and wives, for our children when they disappoint us, extended family members\u2014at the core of the Christian message, is the concept that you must deny yourself, you must embrace <em>selflessness<\/em>, <em>not<\/em> selfishness.\u00a0 That's hard for singles or marrieds to embrace.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 What I would say there\u2014I think, critical is\u2014one, \u201cLet's give them a good definition,\u201d because when we're talking about love, people's ears perked up, and they're listening in the car.\u00a0 Love is, biblically, giving the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least.\u00a0 That's not an emotional response.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Say that again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's giving the other person what they need the most when they deserve it the least.\u00a0 That is a picture of what Jesus did for us.\u00a0 The other thing we need to say\u2014because, you know\u2014for all those people, like me, who grew up and, as a Christian couple, three, four years\u2014and it was, like, \u201cHey, this isn't really working, but I know it's really true,\u201d\u2014is we need to remind people, \u201cThe payoff we're talking about is richer, better, deeper, in <em>every way<\/em>.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, I'm going to just go out there and say\u2014not just relationally, not just emotionally\u2014<em>sexually<\/em>\u2014but there's a long fuse.\u00a0 When you walk in love, when you put the other person first, I've got news for you, \u201cWill you be in a minority and get less dates?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Are you going to narrow the field?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Is it going to be harder in your relationship?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 When you sow that, sow that, sow that, are you going to reap an awesome, deep, loving, spiritually-, emotionally-, physically-satisfying relationship?\u00a0 Yes!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is not about, \u201cWhat's wrong with everyone?\u201d\u00a0 This is about, \u201cGod wants the best!\u201d\u00a0 I mean, come on, people, look at what's happening with your fellow Christians and marriages.\u00a0 It ain't working!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is about, \u201cLet's help people get on board with what God wants to give them, but what we don't want is the process.\u201d\u00a0 Everyone wants the product--God's saying, \"Hey, please, My children, would you turn away from the world and come back to Me and do it My way?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A number of years ago, I had the opportunity to do some premarital counseling for a couple\u2014some friends of mine that I knew, who asked me if I'd take them through some premarital instruction.\u00a0 The first thing we did, the first night we got together, I said, \"Grab a piece of paper.\u00a0 Write down your definition of love,\"\u2014the first thing I had them do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey wrote it down; and I said, \"Now, just tuck that away.\u00a0 I don't even need to read it; don't need to see it.\u00a0 I just want you to tuck it away.\"\u00a0 My goal over the next few sessions that we got together was to teach them the kind of a definition you just gave us.\u00a0 I said, \"Really, we're talking about commitment, bedrock commitment, and self-sacrifice.\u00a0 That's what love is.\u00a0 That's what he Bible models.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of the premarital counseling, I had them get out their definitions of love.\u00a0 This time, I asked them if I could see it.\u00a0 It was just what you would expect from two people who are infatuated with one another.\u00a0 You know, it was all about, \u201cLove is a warm rain on a spring day,\" and, \"It's the person that you can hold hands with and somebody who knows what you're thinking even before\"\u2014all of that is wonderful stuff.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut when the going gets tough, that's not love; and there are going to be days when it's a cold rain and a November day.\u00a0 You're not going to want to walk in it, and nobody's holding your hand, and nobody knows what you're thinking, and you're going to go, \"This is pretty miserable.\"\u00a0 That's when commitment and self-sacrifice have to step up to the plate.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is what I really fear for.\u00a0 We have a generation of young people, today, who have gained their image of what love is all about from all these sources; and it won't work.\u00a0 It is going to fail them!\u00a0 That's why we <em>need<\/em> to get back to the book, the Bible.\u00a0 We have to get back to the spiritual community of the church, the local body of believers, where we are teaching and training single people and married people how to be <em>great lovers<\/em>.\u00a0 I'm not talking about romance here, in terms of sex.\u00a0 I'm talking about romancing another person for a lifetime.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChip, you tell a story, in your book, about a man who worked on Wall Street, who finally got a picture, a biblical picture, on how to love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, he actually was probably listening to something\u2014a program just about like this\u2014and they quoted the verse about loving your wife the way Christ loved the church\u2014sacrificially.\u00a0 He's in the car, high-powered, high-pressure job; and they're going to this cottage on the beach.\u00a0 He just decides, \"I'm going to try this.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey get out of the car and, of course, he wants to go sit down or relax.\u00a0 You know, get the paper\u2014She goes, \"Honey, why don't we take a walk?\"\u00a0 Before it could come out of his mouth, he said, \"Okay.\"\u00a0 Then later, it was, you know, \"The kids are coming down.\u00a0 Why don't we go fly kites?\"\u00a0 Of course, he wanted to go fishing.\u00a0 Anyway, for four or five, six days\u2014everything she wanted to do and, you know, with good balance, he literally just said, \"I'm going to experiment.\"\u00a0 He <em>radically<\/em> loved his wife sacrificially.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAt the end of the time, she got real quiet and was really afraid. She goes, \"I've got to ask you something.\"\u00a0 He said, \"Well, what's wrong?\"\u00a0 I mean, she looks like there is a major, major problem here.\u00a0 She looked at him, and she says, \"Honey, am I dying?\"\u00a0 He said, \"What?\u00a0 What do you mean?\"\u00a0 \"Well, the way you've treated me, I just assumed that maybe I was dying and you wanted to just love me in a way like never before.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe tells the story; and he says, \"You know something?\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 What a commentary on my love\u2014when I love my wife the way Christ does, that she is so overwhelmed and it's so different, she thinks she's dying.\"\u00a0 He said, \"You know what?\u00a0 I took that one home.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would say, too, because a lot of guys are saying, \"Yes, but what about me?\"\u00a0 When you love your wife like that, there's a lot of amazing ways your wife will want to love you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Learn how to be a sacrificial lover of other people.\u00a0 In all that, you're going to become the right person and be, in the process, I think, of ultimately proving what God's will is for your life.\u00a0 That may include a mate at some point in the future.\u00a0 It may not; but if it doesn't, you've still become a great lover of people.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There's a little quiz you can take on the internet that gives you an evaluation; doesn't it? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The 12 \u201cTests of Love\u201d from Chip's book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think that would be a great idea, just to take that test and see how well you know how to love right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was just going to say, \u201cIt's very quick.\u00a0 You can answer 12 questions and know whether you're in love or infatuated.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I like that\u2014quick and simple.\u00a0 It is on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Go there to take the quiz; and you can also get information about Chip\u2019s book, which is called <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships.<\/em> We can get a copy of it sent out to you.\u00a0 Again the website: FamilyLifeToday.com, or call toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329; that\u2019s 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word ,\u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also mention there is information on our website about our upcoming FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember\u00ae <\/em>marriage getaways.\u00a0 They kick off this weekend and continue through the spring.\u00a0 If there is not a getaway coming to your city this spring and you\u2019d still like to do something special for your marriage and for marriages in your community, you can host an <em>Art of Marriage\u00ae <\/em>video event.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how you can do it.\u00a0 By the way, it is really easy and fun for folks to do.\u00a0 We\u2019ve had thousands of people now who have hosted one of these events in their church or in their community, and the response has been just wonderful.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like more information about how you can have an impact on marriages in your community, among your friends, or within your church, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Find out about <em>The Art of Marriage<\/em> video event, or find out about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 Again, the website: FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd as always, we are grateful for those of you who, not only listen to <em>FamilyLife Today,<\/em> but you keep in touch with us, let us know that the program is having an impact in your marriage, in your family, and in your life.\u00a0 We appreciate that kind of feedback.\u00a0 We also are grateful for the financial support that some of you are able to provide to help this program continue on this station and on our network of stations all around the country and via the internet, all around the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis week, if you\u2019re able to help with a donation of any amount, we\u2019d like to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a couple of very helpful books\u2014practical, creative ways that you can express your affection, your fondness for your spouse.\u00a0 There is a book of romantic tips for husbands, and another book of romantic tips for wives.\u00a0 Along with the books, we\u2019ll send two prayer cards so that each of you can be praying for one another more effectively.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, these resources are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d for your financial support.\u00a0 Make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Just click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and make your online donation.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send these resources out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr if you want to make a donation over the phone, call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 When you make your donation, just mention that you\u2019d like the resources on romance that I was talking about on the radio.\u00a0 They\u2019ll know what you mean, and we\u2019ll be happy to send those out to you.\u00a0 And again, we very much appreciate your financial support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow we\u2019re going to talk about how you can tell if you\u2019re really in love and how you can tell if the person you think you\u2019re really in love with is the right kind of person to be in love with.\u00a0 Chip Ingram is going to be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be back, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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