{"id":302452,"date":"2012-02-06T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-06T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/looking-for-love-in-all-the-right-places\/"},"modified":"2012-02-06T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-02-06T17:00:00","slug":"looking-for-love-in-all-the-right-places","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/looking-for-love-in-all-the-right-places\/","title":{"rendered":"Looking for Love in All the Right Places"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Chip let the Lord lead him to a mate who shared his faith.  Are you doing the same?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-06.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.96M","filesize_raw":"25120167","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2817],"tags":[4213,2991],"podcast_series":[7287],"cwp_profile":[3049],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302452","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-choosing-a-spouse","tag-love","tag-sex","podcast_series-love-sex-and-lasting-relationships","cwp_profile-chip-ingram","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302452\/looking-for-love-in-all-the-right-places","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302452\/looking-for-love-in-all-the-right-places","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"MmyzX8DXqb\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/looking-for-love-in-all-the-right-places\/\">Looking for Love in All the Right Places<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/looking-for-love-in-all-the-right-places\/embed\/#?secret=MmyzX8DXqb\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Looking for Love in All the Right Places&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"MmyzX8DXqb\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-06.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-06.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In the early days of his marriage, Chip Ingram says he and his wife had a lot of things they were still trying to figure out about their relationship with each other.\u00a0 Here is Chip.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0We didn't know how to express anger.\u00a0 We didn't know how to communicate; and it was like, \u201cI love you; you love me.\u00a0 You're the most committed person I've ever met to God.\u00a0 I'm as committed as I know how to be.\u00a0 So, why do we make each other crazy?\u00a0 Why do you stuff your feelings?\u00a0 Why, when you're upset, I can't tell\u2014you withdraw from me?\u00a0 And how do we express this and get this on the table where we can have the kind of intimacy we both want?\u201d\u00a0 We simply didn't know how.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 6<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What do you do when you want to make things work, but you just seem to be driving each other crazy sometimes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.\u00a0 Let me tell you a story.\u00a0 This happened a number of years ago, but I\u2019ve never forgotten it.\u00a0 Our family got caught up in watching a summertime show called <em>American Juniors.<\/em>\u00a0 It was the <em>American Idol<\/em> thing; but it was for kids who were, I think, 8 to 15 years old, or something.\u00a0 It was fun, and we enjoyed watching it.\u00a0 It only lasted one season.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was one guy on the show that we were really cheering for.\u00a0 One week, he came out and sang the old \u201cFrankie Lymon and the Teenagers\u201d\u2019 song, <em>Why Do Fools Fall in Love?<\/em>\u00a0 My son, David, who was I think eight at the time, was walking around the house all summer-long singing it (singing), \"Why do birds sing so gay, lovers await the break of day?\u00a0 Why do they fall in love?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember watching him do this; and I thought, \u201cOkay, is this really the thing that I want him to grow up thinking?\u2014that falling in love is for fools.\u00a0 Do I really want him to be 18 years old and thinking, \u201cI\u2019m no fool.\u00a0 I\u2019m never going to fall in love with anybody;\" you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Everybody knows music has no impact on how we think about things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes, you're talking tongue-in-cheek; I know.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we have someone here who has spent a good bit of time researching how the culture is creating our view of romantic love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And he's no fool, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He isn't.\u00a0 Chip Ingram joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Chip, having read about the story in your book, I have to ask you to tell our listeners how you met Theresa and God\u2019s great story of redemption.\u00a0 I just enjoyed this story.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we met\u2014I was leading a campus ministry, teaching, and coaching.\u00a0 There was a bricklayer, trained by the Navigators, who put me under his wing for about seven or eight years; and we just believed that everyone is to make disciples.\u00a0 I never dreamed of vocational ministry.\u00a0 So, I was getting up early, coaching, and teaching.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTheresa came to one of our\u2014we called them \"rallies\u201d\u2014we'd open up this guy's living room and have, literally, 150 college kids\u2014take out all the furniture.\u00a0 She came, and we met.\u00a0 The first time she came, she had these two little boys, with blue pajamas with the feet in them, you know\u2014like, two years old.\u00a0 I thought, \"This is unusual that this girl babysitting, obviously, is bringing these kids here.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSoon I found out that she wasn't babysitting.\u00a0 They were her kids.\u00a0 I was attracted to her; and since I was leading the ministry, I didn't get romantically involved with any relationships.\u00a0 She got in a Bible study.\u00a0 We became friends, and I started to really pray God would bring a man into her life.\u00a0 I saw the needs of those kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was abandoned\u2014was married to someone that was drug dealing on the side and then eventually got involved in another relationship.\u00a0 It went on for a year, and she didn't know about it.\u00a0 Back in those days, his friends actually came and testified on the grounds of adultery\u2014pretty stiff laws back then.\u00a0 She cried out to God and was in the midst of that.\u00a0 Then some twins were born, and then he left.\u00a0 They never knew their dad; and in that crisis, she came to Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI met her\u2014I guess the boys were two-and-a-half; so she was about three years old in the Lord.\u00a0 She knew God like few people that I knew.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When did you first realize that there was more than just an attraction to pray for her\u2014that a man would care for her\u2014and you began to think, \"You know, I'd like to go out on a date with her.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, actually, I was in Caracas, Venezuela.\u00a0 I was on a ministry basketball team sharing Christ\u201423, 24\u2014praying about the future and asking God, \"Lord, You know I'm tired of cooking suppers.\u00a0 I'm discipling people, and I want to meet someone to do life with.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob's not a good cook, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s right.\u00a0 I just meant, \u201cI wanted a family;\u201d and I began to pray.\u00a0 I asked God, \"Will You please show me?\"\u00a0 Literally, the Spirit of God prompted, \"What about Theresa?\"\u00a0 I said, \"I can\u2019t\u2014not Theresa.\u00a0 She's got kids.\"\u00a0 \u201cWell, okay. So\u2014what about Theresa?\u00a0 Don't they need a dad?\"\u00a0 \"Oh, yes, I've asked You about it.\"\u00a0 \"Would you be willing to sign up for that?\"\u00a0 It was, like, \"No!\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen my heart just turned, and I just realized all the qualities I was looking for in a woman\u2014she was very pretty and very attractive\u2014but, by God's grace, I put all of that on hold.\u00a0 I said, \"No way.\u00a0 I'm not going there.\"\u00a0 It was in Caracas, Venezuela, something happened.\u00a0 I wrote her a letter the next day.\u00a0 Then, all during that trip, something happened.\u00a0 I actually \"fell in love,\" while we were apart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGot on a plane\u2014I landed, drove directly from the airport to her house; and then we started dating in a very\u2014she would say dating\u2014we never dated.\u00a0 All we did was read the Bible and sing songs and\u2014I came from a background where we probably were a little\u2014we pushed it to the extreme at times in not getting romantically involved.\u00a0 So, I moved very slowly; but God really honored it, and we did an amazing thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You had some counselors, some folks, who said to you, \"Chip, God has marked your life.\u00a0 He's going to use you in ministry.\u00a0 This wouldn't be good for you to do.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, especially, you know, think back 25 years ago, what divorce, in any circles.\u00a0 Now, was she abandoned?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Was it by an unbeliever?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Was it on grounds of adultery?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 And yet it was\u2014I had people say, \"Well, yes, the Bible does say that; but He'll never use your life.\u00a0 I mean, there are certain mission organizations that will never take you, and He's got His hand on your life.\u00a0 You can't go there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I really prayed.\u00a0 You talk about studying a passage.\u00a0 I read every book on the issue.\u00a0 I came to the point where I realized, you know, \u201cI've got to stand before the judgment seat of Christ.\u00a0 I have to decide, before God, what's right, regardless of what people say.\u201d\u00a0 We had a pure relationship\u2014so I didn't have any sense of, \u201cIf I backed out, it would be guilt\u201d\u2014I hadn't defiled her or defrauded anyone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI asked God for the courage to make the right decision, and He very clearly led us together.\u00a0 I'm not going to tell you it's been easy\u2014those people that have blended families; those people that have been through hurts\u2014within a couple of years\u2014while I was in seminary, actually\u2014we both had so much baggage that\u2014you know, when you're making $1,200 a month; and you spend 90 bucks a week during one season of seminary for counseling, you recognize you have a need.\u00a0 But it's the best 10 or 12 sessions ever.\u00a0 I didn't know, and there are lots of issues.\u00a0 But Christ, being the center was number one; realizing there are no Plan \u201cB\u201ds\u2014number two\u2014it's a covenant; and then, number three\u2014realizing, you know, God specializes in redeeming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0We're teaching on \"Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships.\"\u00a0 You know, it's almost, really, Dennis, like\u2014Bob\u2014if God can do this for us\u2014I don't know where you're at, but you're a candidate; you know?\u00a0 If He can produce kids who love God out of this baggage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, that was what hit me as I read your story, in your book.\u00a0 God is all about redemption, and there are a lot of listeners right now who have just heard your story\u2014<em>longing<\/em> for a life that is marked by the Redeemer\u2014that redemption that says, \"You are useful.\u00a0 I do have a plan.\u00a0 I <em>can<\/em> use you.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen did you realize, in your marriage with Theresa, that He really had something special for you to accomplish?\u00a0 Was it right after seminary or was it later on in your pastorate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0I think it was watching\u2014going through the process and realizing we had a lot of\u2014we didn't know how to express anger.\u00a0 We didn't know how to communicate.\u00a0 By \"express anger,\" we weren't yellers and screamers.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have some big marriage problem\u2014it was like, \u201cI love you.\u00a0 You love me.\u00a0 You're the most committed person I've ever met to God.\u00a0 I'm as committed as I know how to be.\u00a0 So, why do we make each other crazy?\u00a0 Why do you stuff your feelings?\u00a0 Why, when you're upset, I can't tell\u2014you withdraw from me?\u00a0 And how do we express this and get this on the table where we can have the kind of intimacy we both want?\u201d\u00a0 We simply didn't know how.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing we are\u2014we're teachable.\u00a0 We set aside a day a week for a date.\u00a0 I don't know how many books we've read together, and I can't tell you how many of those \"get away for a weekend\" that you all talk about that we do.\u00a0 I can't tell you how many tapes we've listened to in the car.\u00a0 We worked; and, to tell you the truth, right now, we still work.\u00a0 Friday mornings, I still eat breakfast\u2014every week with my wife\u2014we still date.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis book is a picture of maybe learning things the hard way, and then my wife has such compassion for people who struggle.\u00a0 She has such mercy because she has been through such pain.\u00a0 Because of that, we've been involved with scores and scores of couples, who, I watch\u2014believe lies, try and do life apart from God, suffer immeasurable pain and consequences.\u00a0 It breaks my heart, and I want to help them.\u00a0 I want them to know there is a right way.\u00a0 God is not down on them.\u00a0 He wants to put His arm around them, but you do have to do it His way.\u00a0 There are consequences of living in ways that the culture tells you that promise great stuff and bring destruction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You address, in your book, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships,<\/em> the influence the culture has on all of our thinking, related to relationships, and romance, and marriage and how it's supposed to work.\u00a0 As you look back on the early years of your marriage to Theresa, was it marked by that kind of cultural influence?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh, absolutely.\u00a0 I mean, I never opened a Bible until I was 18.\u00a0 I never heard Bible teaching until I was probably 19.\u00a0 My expectations were so faulty because the lies are, \u201cThe way to have it is\u2014number one, \u2018Find the right person\u2019; number two, \u2018You'll have this mystical, amazing experience\u2014flood of emotions, electricity through your body.\u00a0 We'll call that love instead of what it is\u2014infatuation\u2019; third, \u2018Pin all your hopes and dreams on that person.\u00a0 They're going to fulfill you now because all the songs say, \u201cI can't live without you, baby.\u00a0 If you leave, I'll die.\u201d\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour whole world is in them.\u00a0 Now, since they're a human being, and they're like you, and they're like me, they're going to let you down.\u00a0 When it gets rough, then all the songs say what?\u00a0 \u201cIf loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.\u201d You're just with the wrong person.\u00a0 So, you know, \u201cDon't collect $200.\u00a0 Go back to square one; find a new person.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat theme is in almost every single movie, song, billboard, advertisement; and it is a flat-out lie.\u00a0 What this book does is expose that theme\u2014where it came from and helps people see, \u201cThis is how you've unconsciously been taught.\u201d\u00a0 Even believers, as believers, \u201cIf you buy that and you're not feeling very fulfilled, guess what comes to your mind?\u00a0 \u2018I guess I made the wrong decision.\u2019\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cIt's the wrong person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cIt's the wrong person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, \u201cI'll make a better choice next time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI'm smarter now.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cAnd God will understand. \u201c\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cHe's a God of grace; right?\u00a0 He doesn't take this covenant stuff really seriously.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, \u201cI'll select a better person.\u00a0 This time there will be a better plan.\u201d\u00a0 There is no different plan\u2014the same plan\u2014\u201cWrong person, divorce them.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s why we are meeting more and more people in the culture who have been divorced three, four, or more times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was talking with a single mom, a woman who had been abandoned by her husband.\u00a0 She said to me\u2014I had been teaching on divorce and remarriage out of Matthew, Chapter 5; and she came up afterwards and she said, \u201cHere\u2019s my circumstance.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cDo you think I\u2019m free to remarry?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s really the issue at this point.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cThe issue at this point is all of the hurt, all that you\u2019ve been through.\u00a0 Have you dealt with that?\u00a0 Have you approached the subject of reconciliation with your former mate?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cI\u2019m not necessarily talking about the two of you getting back together as a <em>married <\/em>couple, but have you dealt with forgiveness?\u00a0 Have you dealt with trying to repair?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cIf you don\u2019t deal with those things, then the next relationship is just going to be a new soil bed for all of those weeds to re-emerge.\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to fix anything until you deal with those issues.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was hard because there is loneliness in her voice.\u00a0 She\u2019s asking the question because she\u2019s longing for companionship; and yet, Chip, if you don\u2019t deal with those issues, you\u2019re not going to find the fulfillment you\u2019re looking for, even if you find another person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I've got a great story to tell you, if you want to hear it, right along this line\u2014because some people are asking, \u201cLove, sex, lasting relationships\u2014how do I really get it?\u201d\u00a0 What I've learned is there are a lot of \u201cunbelievers\u201d and people not going to church that are listening to us right now.\u00a0 You know, \u201cIs this going to be that religious stuff where they just say, you know, \u2018Jesus plus something\u2014and I\u2019m going to have this great relationship\u2019?\u00a0 Do these people understand me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0One of the chapters\u2014I actually teach through exactly what you were doing.\u00a0 We ended up with a tremendous divorce recovery program.\u00a0 Sometimes 60, 70 percent of the people were unbelievers because a judge in town told all the people\u2014a divorce judge, \u201cIf you want to get real help, that Santa Cruz Bible Church is the best place to go.\u00a0 That's all I know.\u00a0 I can't recommend it\u2014church and state\u2014but I'm telling you, if you want help\u2014I don't know what they're doing over there, but people get straightened up.\u201d\u00a0 So, we have this flood of people, twice a year.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0They did a lot of great stuff; and then about week number six, they ask me to come in.\u00a0 Well, you know, you can imagine, \u201cI'm an unbeliever, and now the pastor is coming.\u201d\u00a0 So, I ask them, \"Where and how did you learn to build relationships?\u2014I mean, romantic relationships?\"\u00a0 They kind of looked at each other. I mean, \"Where did you do it?\u00a0 How does it work?\u00a0 And, by the way, is it working for you?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know\u2014the looks on their faces\u2014where, you know\u2014their arms are crossed and, you know, \u201cWhere is this going to come from.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \"Could I just be candid and a little earthy with you and tell you how you've done it?\u00a0 This is how I learned.\"\u00a0 I said, \"It starts out with the physical; doesn't it?\u00a0 You go to a bar, or you go around a corner, or it's in the office cubicle\u2014and the physical is, \u201cHey, I'm a guy.\u00a0 I'm looking for that tight skirt, the tight this, the little cleavage here, the real tight sweater.\u00a0 Little chemicals go off and say, \u2018Hey, I want to meet her.\u2019\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr, if you're a gal, it used to be the strong chin and the deep voice.\u00a0 Now it's the tight jeans and\u2014and so what do you do?\u00a0 You start the dance, and it's totally around the physical issues.\u00a0 Well, then, if you can hook up a little bit, you move to the emotional.\u00a0 Something starts to buzz inside, and you have these feelings.\u00a0 If you can get that moving a little bit, you may sleep together\u2014in our culture, that night.\u00a0 You might wait a couple of days, or you might take a couple of weeks or so; but it goes from physical to emotional lock, and then your brain cells go dead.\u00a0 You have these feelings you haven't had, and you spend money you don't have.\u00a0 Your friends and people say, \u201cYou've lost your mind.\u00a0 What are you doing?\u201d\u00a0 You say, \"Oh, it is love.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf that continues, then what do you do?\u00a0 Then you start to move into each other's social circles.\u00a0 So it's physical, emotional, social; and then some of your friends and family say, \"That guy is bad for you.\"\u00a0 You say, \"Oh, no.\u00a0 It couldn't be,\" you know, these great feelings.\u00a0 Or you might listen a little bit.\u00a0 It's sort of a quantifying factor; and if enough of your friends and family say, \"Hmm, maybe this will work.\"\u00a0 Then, and only then, do you move to the really psychological character issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou start to get to know one another, family background; and if it still clicks then, by this time, the majority of people in America are living with each other\u2014and they are test-driving this out.\u00a0 They don't know the stats that now all the\u2014you know, \u201cThis is not a good thing for your marriage.\u00a0 It is not a good thing for your sex life,\u201d and on, and on, and on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen they say\u2014well, you know something?\u00a0 Everybody, no matter what they say, they want a sense of permanence.\u00a0 So, \u201cLet\u2019s make it spiritual.\u00a0 Let's find a rabbi, or a priest, or a minister, or a pastor, or whatever you call them.\u201d\u00a0 Then, when they have the wedding; it's amazing.\u00a0 They want the church, want the organ, want the white dress, want the\u2014you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I'm saying this, I've got the whole room nodding with me.\u00a0 I said, \"Now, is that how you do relationships?\"\u00a0 They all said, \"Exactly.\"\u00a0 I said, \u201cThat's exactly how I learned, too.\u201d\u00a0 As I wrote them, I wrote them, in a way, backwards.\u00a0 I made a little pyramid, and it was an upside-down pyramid.\u00a0 Then, what I did is, I took that pyramid and I flipped it right-side up.\u00a0 I said, \"Now, that's one way to do relationships; and, excuse me, the name of this is\u2014\u2018Divorce Recovery,\u2019 and my goal is how to grow through divorce.\u00a0 That way doesn't work.\u00a0 Would you be open to me talking to you about a way that really works?\u201d\u00a0 Now, they gave me permission, as the pastor; and I talked about what you guys\u2014the heart of your ministry is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpiritually, how do you connect and look for character?\u00a0 How do you become the right person?\u00a0 Then, psychologically, what kind of person is this?\u00a0 What are their values, their vision, their heart, their character?\u00a0 Then you move to socially\u2014and now, I get to know a guy\u2014when I see him, how he acts with his friends at work, his mom, his dad.\u00a0 <em>Then<\/em> I allow my emotions to begin to kick in and allow God to lead me.\u00a0 Now, you know what?\u00a0 \u201cThis is a fit,\u201d and you get married and then you physically express it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's just\u2014the Hollywood formula is the exact opposite of that.\u00a0 Our dream is to help people do it differently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0That's really what you've tried to point folks to in this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0It really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You wrote this for unbelievers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0You know what?\u00a0 It really is.\u00a0 But, you know, to be honest, maybe I shouldn't say this\u2014but I will since you guys are laughing and singing songs\u2014I guess I can say whatever I want.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don't mean this critically, but the average unbeliever and the average believer thinks <em>exactly<\/em> the same way.\u00a0 What they're not going to get is a long finger pointing, \u201cBad boy; bad girl.\u00a0 You really messed up in the past.\u201d They are going to hear a God whose heart is broken, saying, \"I know you want lasting love, and great sex, and real intimacy; and you know something?\u00a0 You're going about it all wrong.\u00a0 Would you please listen to Me?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really is written, in many ways, for unbelievers; but there are so many believers who are living the same way.\u00a0 The unfortunate fact is it will probably be as much or a greater help to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The interesting thing is we, as Christians, have the answers.\u00a0 Our God created marriage.\u00a0 He is the One Who lays out that pyramid, like you talked about, Chip\u2014of, first of all, becoming the right person, rightly-related to Him, growing as a Christian, learning how to grow spiritually, then learning how to help another person grow spiritually in an intimate relationship called marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem is the Christian community just doesn\u2019t get it that we have one of the greatest opportunities today to lead people to Christ around failed marriages and families, perhaps in our nation\u2019s history.\u00a0 The family next door, the guy at work, or the gal at work that you know\u2014who is about to split because they have no hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, a book like this provides a great way to put some quality solutions and literature in the hands of people who are hopeless, who didn't get married to destroy another person.\u00a0 They got married for intimacy, just like all of us did; but they didn't know the God Who created it and don't know how to make it work.\u00a0 They just need someone coming alongside them, Bob, who will explain it to them in very clear, crisp language, that's not religious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, that's where I think we can help, too, because rather than somebody just sitting by and saying, \u201cBoy, this is a shame.\u00a0 Too bad that something like this is happening,\u201d and then just going on with your life.\u00a0 You can do something.\u00a0 You can get them a copy of Chip\u2019s book, <em>Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships<\/em>.\u00a0 The subtitle is <em>God\u2019s Prescription for Enhancing Your Love Life<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can invite them to join you and all of you come to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got those that are kicking off this weekend and continuing throughout the spring.\u00a0 You can host an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae event in your community and invite them to come.\u00a0 The point is there are tools; there are resources available that you can use, and you can get involved in helping your friends build a stronger marriage\u2014and maybe, even introducing them to Christ in the process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to our website.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the resources we\u2019ve talked about.\u00a0 Chip\u2019s book is called <em>Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships. <\/em>\u00a0 There is also information about the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaways and about <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>video event that anyone can host in their community.\u00a0 You can also find out where <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>events are being held near where you live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the right link for the information you need.\u00a0 Or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329; that's 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who help make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible.\u00a0 This daily radio program happens because folks like you partner with us to make it possible.\u00a0 You help with the costs for producing and syndicating this program as we make it available on radio stations and on the internet worldwide.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose of you who are Legacy Partners and make monthly contributions\u2014\u201cThank you for that ongoing support.\u201d\u00a0 Those of you who make a donation from time-to-time to help support the ministry, we appreciate you as well.\u00a0 In fact, this week, if you\u2019re able to help with a donation, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, a couple of books\u2014actually one for a husband and one for a wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are books that provide some practical help in the area of romance:\u00a0 tips for husbands on how to communicate your love to your wife, and tips for wives on how to do the same thing with your husband.\u00a0 These books are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d again, for your support of this ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo make an online donation, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d; and when you make your donation online, we\u2019ll send you copies of these books.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 You can make a donation over the phone, and just mention that you\u2019d like the books we were talking about on romance.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get those out to you; and again we want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d for your support of the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to encourage you to be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about how we define love.\u00a0 Chip Ingram has some thoughts on that subject.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be our guest tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be back with us, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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let the Lord lead him to a mate who shared his faith. Are you doing the same?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-02-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In the early days of his marriage, Chip Ingram says he and his wife had a lot of things they were still trying to figure out about their relationship with each other.\u00a0 Here is Chip.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0We didn't know how to express anger.\u00a0 We didn't know how to communicate; and it was like, \u201cI love you; you love me.\u00a0 You're the most committed person I've ever met to God.\u00a0 I'm as committed as I know how to be.\u00a0 So, why do we make each other crazy?\u00a0 Why do you stuff your feelings?\u00a0 Why, when you're upset, I can't tell\u2014you withdraw from me?\u00a0 And how do we express this and get this on the table where we can have the kind of intimacy we both want?\u201d\u00a0 We simply didn't know how.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, February 6<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What do you do when you want to make things work, but you just seem to be driving each other crazy sometimes?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Monday edition.\u00a0 Let me tell you a story.\u00a0 This happened a number of years ago, but I\u2019ve never forgotten it.\u00a0 Our family got caught up in watching a summertime show called <em>American Juniors.<\/em>\u00a0 It was the <em>American Idol<\/em> thing; but it was for kids who were, I think, 8 to 15 years old, or something.\u00a0 It was fun, and we enjoyed watching it.\u00a0 It only lasted one season.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was one guy on the show that we were really cheering for.\u00a0 One week, he came out and sang the old \u201cFrankie Lymon and the Teenagers\u201d\u2019 song, <em>Why Do Fools Fall in Love?<\/em>\u00a0 My son, David, who was I think eight at the time, was walking around the house all summer-long singing it (singing), \"Why do birds sing so gay, lovers await the break of day?\u00a0 Why do they fall in love?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember watching him do this; and I thought, \u201cOkay, is this really the thing that I want him to grow up thinking?\u2014that falling in love is for fools.\u00a0 Do I really want him to be 18 years old and thinking, \u201cI\u2019m no fool.\u00a0 I\u2019m never going to fall in love with anybody;\" you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Everybody knows music has no impact on how we think about things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, yes, you're talking tongue-in-cheek; I know.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we have someone here who has spent a good bit of time researching how the culture is creating our view of romantic love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And he's no fool, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He isn't.\u00a0 Chip Ingram joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Chip, having read about the story in your book, I have to ask you to tell our listeners how you met Theresa and God\u2019s great story of redemption.\u00a0 I just enjoyed this story.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we met\u2014I was leading a campus ministry, teaching, and coaching.\u00a0 There was a bricklayer, trained by the Navigators, who put me under his wing for about seven or eight years; and we just believed that everyone is to make disciples.\u00a0 I never dreamed of vocational ministry.\u00a0 So, I was getting up early, coaching, and teaching.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTheresa came to one of our\u2014we called them \"rallies\u201d\u2014we'd open up this guy's living room and have, literally, 150 college kids\u2014take out all the furniture.\u00a0 She came, and we met.\u00a0 The first time she came, she had these two little boys, with blue pajamas with the feet in them, you know\u2014like, two years old.\u00a0 I thought, \"This is unusual that this girl babysitting, obviously, is bringing these kids here.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSoon I found out that she wasn't babysitting.\u00a0 They were her kids.\u00a0 I was attracted to her; and since I was leading the ministry, I didn't get romantically involved with any relationships.\u00a0 She got in a Bible study.\u00a0 We became friends, and I started to really pray God would bring a man into her life.\u00a0 I saw the needs of those kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe was abandoned\u2014was married to someone that was drug dealing on the side and then eventually got involved in another relationship.\u00a0 It went on for a year, and she didn't know about it.\u00a0 Back in those days, his friends actually came and testified on the grounds of adultery\u2014pretty stiff laws back then.\u00a0 She cried out to God and was in the midst of that.\u00a0 Then some twins were born, and then he left.\u00a0 They never knew their dad; and in that crisis, she came to Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI met her\u2014I guess the boys were two-and-a-half; so she was about three years old in the Lord.\u00a0 She knew God like few people that I knew.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When did you first realize that there was more than just an attraction to pray for her\u2014that a man would care for her\u2014and you began to think, \"You know, I'd like to go out on a date with her.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, actually, I was in Caracas, Venezuela.\u00a0 I was on a ministry basketball team sharing Christ\u201423, 24\u2014praying about the future and asking God, \"Lord, You know I'm tired of cooking suppers.\u00a0 I'm discipling people, and I want to meet someone to do life with.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bob's not a good cook, either.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0That\u2019s right.\u00a0 I just meant, \u201cI wanted a family;\u201d and I began to pray.\u00a0 I asked God, \"Will You please show me?\"\u00a0 Literally, the Spirit of God prompted, \"What about Theresa?\"\u00a0 I said, \"I can\u2019t\u2014not Theresa.\u00a0 She's got kids.\"\u00a0 \u201cWell, okay. So\u2014what about Theresa?\u00a0 Don't they need a dad?\"\u00a0 \"Oh, yes, I've asked You about it.\"\u00a0 \"Would you be willing to sign up for that?\"\u00a0 It was, like, \"No!\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen my heart just turned, and I just realized all the qualities I was looking for in a woman\u2014she was very pretty and very attractive\u2014but, by God's grace, I put all of that on hold.\u00a0 I said, \"No way.\u00a0 I'm not going there.\"\u00a0 It was in Caracas, Venezuela, something happened.\u00a0 I wrote her a letter the next day.\u00a0 Then, all during that trip, something happened.\u00a0 I actually \"fell in love,\" while we were apart.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGot on a plane\u2014I landed, drove directly from the airport to her house; and then we started dating in a very\u2014she would say dating\u2014we never dated.\u00a0 All we did was read the Bible and sing songs and\u2014I came from a background where we probably were a little\u2014we pushed it to the extreme at times in not getting romantically involved.\u00a0 So, I moved very slowly; but God really honored it, and we did an amazing thing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You had some counselors, some folks, who said to you, \"Chip, God has marked your life.\u00a0 He's going to use you in ministry.\u00a0 This wouldn't be good for you to do.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Yes, especially, you know, think back 25 years ago, what divorce, in any circles.\u00a0 Now, was she abandoned?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Was it by an unbeliever?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Was it on grounds of adultery?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 And yet it was\u2014I had people say, \"Well, yes, the Bible does say that; but He'll never use your life.\u00a0 I mean, there are certain mission organizations that will never take you, and He's got His hand on your life.\u00a0 You can't go there.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I really prayed.\u00a0 You talk about studying a passage.\u00a0 I read every book on the issue.\u00a0 I came to the point where I realized, you know, \u201cI've got to stand before the judgment seat of Christ.\u00a0 I have to decide, before God, what's right, regardless of what people say.\u201d\u00a0 We had a pure relationship\u2014so I didn't have any sense of, \u201cIf I backed out, it would be guilt\u201d\u2014I hadn't defiled her or defrauded anyone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI asked God for the courage to make the right decision, and He very clearly led us together.\u00a0 I'm not going to tell you it's been easy\u2014those people that have blended families; those people that have been through hurts\u2014within a couple of years\u2014while I was in seminary, actually\u2014we both had so much baggage that\u2014you know, when you're making $1,200 a month; and you spend 90 bucks a week during one season of seminary for counseling, you recognize you have a need.\u00a0 But it's the best 10 or 12 sessions ever.\u00a0 I didn't know, and there are lots of issues.\u00a0 But Christ, being the center was number one; realizing there are no Plan \u201cB\u201ds\u2014number two\u2014it's a covenant; and then, number three\u2014realizing, you know, God specializes in redeeming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0We're teaching on \"Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships.\"\u00a0 You know, it's almost, really, Dennis, like\u2014Bob\u2014if God can do this for us\u2014I don't know where you're at, but you're a candidate; you know?\u00a0 If He can produce kids who love God out of this baggage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, that was what hit me as I read your story, in your book.\u00a0 God is all about redemption, and there are a lot of listeners right now who have just heard your story\u2014<em>longing<\/em> for a life that is marked by the Redeemer\u2014that redemption that says, \"You are useful.\u00a0 I do have a plan.\u00a0 I <em>can<\/em> use you.\"\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen did you realize, in your marriage with Theresa, that He really had something special for you to accomplish?\u00a0 Was it right after seminary or was it later on in your pastorate?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0I think it was watching\u2014going through the process and realizing we had a lot of\u2014we didn't know how to express anger.\u00a0 We didn't know how to communicate.\u00a0 By \"express anger,\" we weren't yellers and screamers.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t have some big marriage problem\u2014it was like, \u201cI love you.\u00a0 You love me.\u00a0 You're the most committed person I've ever met to God.\u00a0 I'm as committed as I know how to be.\u00a0 So, why do we make each other crazy?\u00a0 Why do you stuff your feelings?\u00a0 Why, when you're upset, I can't tell\u2014you withdraw from me?\u00a0 And how do we express this and get this on the table where we can have the kind of intimacy we both want?\u201d\u00a0 We simply didn't know how.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne thing we are\u2014we're teachable.\u00a0 We set aside a day a week for a date.\u00a0 I don't know how many books we've read together, and I can't tell you how many of those \"get away for a weekend\" that you all talk about that we do.\u00a0 I can't tell you how many tapes we've listened to in the car.\u00a0 We worked; and, to tell you the truth, right now, we still work.\u00a0 Friday mornings, I still eat breakfast\u2014every week with my wife\u2014we still date.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis book is a picture of maybe learning things the hard way, and then my wife has such compassion for people who struggle.\u00a0 She has such mercy because she has been through such pain.\u00a0 Because of that, we've been involved with scores and scores of couples, who, I watch\u2014believe lies, try and do life apart from God, suffer immeasurable pain and consequences.\u00a0 It breaks my heart, and I want to help them.\u00a0 I want them to know there is a right way.\u00a0 God is not down on them.\u00a0 He wants to put His arm around them, but you do have to do it His way.\u00a0 There are consequences of living in ways that the culture tells you that promise great stuff and bring destruction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You address, in your book, <em>Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships,<\/em> the influence the culture has on all of our thinking, related to relationships, and romance, and marriage and how it's supposed to work.\u00a0 As you look back on the early years of your marriage to Theresa, was it marked by that kind of cultural influence?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0Oh, absolutely.\u00a0 I mean, I never opened a Bible until I was 18.\u00a0 I never heard Bible teaching until I was probably 19.\u00a0 My expectations were so faulty because the lies are, \u201cThe way to have it is\u2014number one, \u2018Find the right person\u2019; number two, \u2018You'll have this mystical, amazing experience\u2014flood of emotions, electricity through your body.\u00a0 We'll call that love instead of what it is\u2014infatuation\u2019; third, \u2018Pin all your hopes and dreams on that person.\u00a0 They're going to fulfill you now because all the songs say, \u201cI can't live without you, baby.\u00a0 If you leave, I'll die.\u201d\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour whole world is in them.\u00a0 Now, since they're a human being, and they're like you, and they're like me, they're going to let you down.\u00a0 When it gets rough, then all the songs say what?\u00a0 \u201cIf loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.\u201d You're just with the wrong person.\u00a0 So, you know, \u201cDon't collect $200.\u00a0 Go back to square one; find a new person.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat theme is in almost every single movie, song, billboard, advertisement; and it is a flat-out lie.\u00a0 What this book does is expose that theme\u2014where it came from and helps people see, \u201cThis is how you've unconsciously been taught.\u201d\u00a0 Even believers, as believers, \u201cIf you buy that and you're not feeling very fulfilled, guess what comes to your mind?\u00a0 \u2018I guess I made the wrong decision.\u2019\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cIt's the wrong person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cIt's the wrong person.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, \u201cI'll make a better choice next time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI'm smarter now.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0\u201cAnd God will understand. \u201c\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cHe's a God of grace; right?\u00a0 He doesn't take this covenant stuff really seriously.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, \u201cI'll select a better person.\u00a0 This time there will be a better plan.\u201d\u00a0 There is no different plan\u2014the same plan\u2014\u201cWrong person, divorce them.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s why we are meeting more and more people in the culture who have been divorced three, four, or more times.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was talking with a single mom, a woman who had been abandoned by her husband.\u00a0 She said to me\u2014I had been teaching on divorce and remarriage out of Matthew, Chapter 5; and she came up afterwards and she said, \u201cHere\u2019s my circumstance.\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cDo you think I\u2019m free to remarry?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cI don\u2019t think that\u2019s really the issue at this point.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cThe issue at this point is all of the hurt, all that you\u2019ve been through.\u00a0 Have you dealt with that?\u00a0 Have you approached the subject of reconciliation with your former mate?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cI\u2019m not necessarily talking about the two of you getting back together as a <em>married <\/em>couple, but have you dealt with forgiveness?\u00a0 Have you dealt with trying to repair?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cIf you don\u2019t deal with those things, then the next relationship is just going to be a new soil bed for all of those weeds to re-emerge.\u00a0 It\u2019s not going to fix anything until you deal with those issues.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat was hard because there is loneliness in her voice.\u00a0 She\u2019s asking the question because she\u2019s longing for companionship; and yet, Chip, if you don\u2019t deal with those issues, you\u2019re not going to find the fulfillment you\u2019re looking for, even if you find another person.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0 I've got a great story to tell you, if you want to hear it, right along this line\u2014because some people are asking, \u201cLove, sex, lasting relationships\u2014how do I really get it?\u201d\u00a0 What I've learned is there are a lot of \u201cunbelievers\u201d and people not going to church that are listening to us right now.\u00a0 You know, \u201cIs this going to be that religious stuff where they just say, you know, \u2018Jesus plus something\u2014and I\u2019m going to have this great relationship\u2019?\u00a0 Do these people understand me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0One of the chapters\u2014I actually teach through exactly what you were doing.\u00a0 We ended up with a tremendous divorce recovery program.\u00a0 Sometimes 60, 70 percent of the people were unbelievers because a judge in town told all the people\u2014a divorce judge, \u201cIf you want to get real help, that Santa Cruz Bible Church is the best place to go.\u00a0 That's all I know.\u00a0 I can't recommend it\u2014church and state\u2014but I'm telling you, if you want help\u2014I don't know what they're doing over there, but people get straightened up.\u201d\u00a0 So, we have this flood of people, twice a year.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00a0They did a lot of great stuff; and then about week number six, they ask me to come in.\u00a0 Well, you know, you can imagine, \u201cI'm an unbeliever, and now the pastor is coming.\u201d\u00a0 So, I ask them, \"Where and how did you learn to build relationships?\u2014I mean, romantic relationships?\"\u00a0 They kind of looked at each other. I mean, \"Where did you do it?\u00a0 How does it work?\u00a0 And, by the way, is it working for you?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know\u2014the looks on their faces\u2014where, you know\u2014their arms are crossed and, you know, \u201cWhere is this going to come from.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \"Could I just be candid and a little earthy with you and tell you how you've done it?\u00a0 This is how I learned.\"\u00a0 I said, \"It starts out with the physical; doesn't it?\u00a0 You go to a bar, or you go around a corner, or it's in the office cubicle\u2014and the physical is, \u201cHey, I'm a guy.\u00a0 I'm looking for that tight skirt, the tight this, the little cleavage here, the real tight sweater.\u00a0 Little chemicals go off and say, \u2018Hey, I want to meet her.\u2019\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr, if you're a gal, it used to be the strong chin and the deep voice.\u00a0 Now it's the tight jeans and\u2014and so what do you do?\u00a0 You start the dance, and it's totally around the physical issues.\u00a0 Well, then, if you can hook up a little bit, you move to the emotional.\u00a0 Something starts to buzz inside, and you have these feelings.\u00a0 If you can get that moving a little bit, you may sleep together\u2014in our culture, that night.\u00a0 You might wait a couple of days, or you might take a couple of weeks or so; but it goes from physical to emotional lock, and then your brain cells go dead.\u00a0 You have these feelings you haven't had, and you spend money you don't have.\u00a0 Your friends and people say, \u201cYou've lost your mind.\u00a0 What are you doing?\u201d\u00a0 You say, \"Oh, it is love.\" \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf that continues, then what do you do?\u00a0 Then you start to move into each other's social circles.\u00a0 So it's physical, emotional, social; and then some of your friends and family say, \"That guy is bad for you.\"\u00a0 You say, \"Oh, no.\u00a0 It couldn't be,\" you know, these great feelings.\u00a0 Or you might listen a little bit.\u00a0 It's sort of a quantifying factor; and if enough of your friends and family say, \"Hmm, maybe this will work.\"\u00a0 Then, and only then, do you move to the really psychological character issues.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou start to get to know one another, family background; and if it still clicks then, by this time, the majority of people in America are living with each other\u2014and they are test-driving this out.\u00a0 They don't know the stats that now all the\u2014you know, \u201cThis is not a good thing for your marriage.\u00a0 It is not a good thing for your sex life,\u201d and on, and on, and on.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen they say\u2014well, you know something?\u00a0 Everybody, no matter what they say, they want a sense of permanence.\u00a0 So, \u201cLet\u2019s make it spiritual.\u00a0 Let's find a rabbi, or a priest, or a minister, or a pastor, or whatever you call them.\u201d\u00a0 Then, when they have the wedding; it's amazing.\u00a0 They want the church, want the organ, want the white dress, want the\u2014you know?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I'm saying this, I've got the whole room nodding with me.\u00a0 I said, \"Now, is that how you do relationships?\"\u00a0 They all said, \"Exactly.\"\u00a0 I said, \u201cThat's exactly how I learned, too.\u201d\u00a0 As I wrote them, I wrote them, in a way, backwards.\u00a0 I made a little pyramid, and it was an upside-down pyramid.\u00a0 Then, what I did is, I took that pyramid and I flipped it right-side up.\u00a0 I said, \"Now, that's one way to do relationships; and, excuse me, the name of this is\u2014\u2018Divorce Recovery,\u2019 and my goal is how to grow through divorce.\u00a0 That way doesn't work.\u00a0 Would you be open to me talking to you about a way that really works?\u201d\u00a0 Now, they gave me permission, as the pastor; and I talked about what you guys\u2014the heart of your ministry is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSpiritually, how do you connect and look for character?\u00a0 How do you become the right person?\u00a0 Then, psychologically, what kind of person is this?\u00a0 What are their values, their vision, their heart, their character?\u00a0 Then you move to socially\u2014and now, I get to know a guy\u2014when I see him, how he acts with his friends at work, his mom, his dad.\u00a0 <em>Then<\/em> I allow my emotions to begin to kick in and allow God to lead me.\u00a0 Now, you know what?\u00a0 \u201cThis is a fit,\u201d and you get married and then you physically express it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's just\u2014the Hollywood formula is the exact opposite of that.\u00a0 Our dream is to help people do it differently.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0That's really what you've tried to point folks to in this book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0It really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0You wrote this for unbelievers.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Chip:<\/strong>\u00a0You know what?\u00a0 It really is.\u00a0 But, you know, to be honest, maybe I shouldn't say this\u2014but I will since you guys are laughing and singing songs\u2014I guess I can say whatever I want.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don't mean this critically, but the average unbeliever and the average believer thinks <em>exactly<\/em> the same way.\u00a0 What they're not going to get is a long finger pointing, \u201cBad boy; bad girl.\u00a0 You really messed up in the past.\u201d They are going to hear a God whose heart is broken, saying, \"I know you want lasting love, and great sex, and real intimacy; and you know something?\u00a0 You're going about it all wrong.\u00a0 Would you please listen to Me?\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt really is written, in many ways, for unbelievers; but there are so many believers who are living the same way.\u00a0 The unfortunate fact is it will probably be as much or a greater help to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The interesting thing is we, as Christians, have the answers.\u00a0 Our God created marriage.\u00a0 He is the One Who lays out that pyramid, like you talked about, Chip\u2014of, first of all, becoming the right person, rightly-related to Him, growing as a Christian, learning how to grow spiritually, then learning how to help another person grow spiritually in an intimate relationship called marriage. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe problem is the Christian community just doesn\u2019t get it that we have one of the greatest opportunities today to lead people to Christ around failed marriages and families, perhaps in our nation\u2019s history.\u00a0 The family next door, the guy at work, or the gal at work that you know\u2014who is about to split because they have no hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, a book like this provides a great way to put some quality solutions and literature in the hands of people who are hopeless, who didn't get married to destroy another person.\u00a0 They got married for intimacy, just like all of us did; but they didn't know the God Who created it and don't know how to make it work.\u00a0 They just need someone coming alongside them, Bob, who will explain it to them in very clear, crisp language, that's not religious.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, that's where I think we can help, too, because rather than somebody just sitting by and saying, \u201cBoy, this is a shame.\u00a0 Too bad that something like this is happening,\u201d and then just going on with your life.\u00a0 You can do something.\u00a0 You can get them a copy of Chip\u2019s book, <em>Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships<\/em>.\u00a0 The subtitle is <em>God\u2019s Prescription for Enhancing Your Love Life<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can invite them to join you and all of you come to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got those that are kicking off this weekend and continuing throughout the spring.\u00a0 You can host an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae event in your community and invite them to come.\u00a0 The point is there are tools; there are resources available that you can use, and you can get involved in helping your friends build a stronger marriage\u2014and maybe, even introducing them to Christ in the process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to our website.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the resources we\u2019ve talked about.\u00a0 Chip\u2019s book is called <em>Love, Sex and Lasting Relationships. <\/em>\u00a0 There is also information about the <em>Weekend to Remember <\/em>marriage getaways and about <em>The Art of Marriage <\/em>video event that anyone can host in their community.\u00a0 You can also find out where <em>Art of Marriage <\/em>events are being held near where you live.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the right link for the information you need.\u00a0 Or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329; that's 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to those of you who help make <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> possible.\u00a0 This daily radio program happens because folks like you partner with us to make it possible.\u00a0 You help with the costs for producing and syndicating this program as we make it available on radio stations and on the internet worldwide.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose of you who are Legacy Partners and make monthly contributions\u2014\u201cThank you for that ongoing support.\u201d\u00a0 Those of you who make a donation from time-to-time to help support the ministry, we appreciate you as well.\u00a0 In fact, this week, if you\u2019re able to help with a donation, we\u2019d like to send you, as a thank-you gift, a couple of books\u2014actually one for a husband and one for a wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese are books that provide some practical help in the area of romance:\u00a0 tips for husbands on how to communicate your love to your wife, and tips for wives on how to do the same thing with your husband.\u00a0 These books are our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d again, for your support of this ministry.\u00a0 We appreciate your partnership with us here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo make an online donation, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d; and when you make your donation online, we\u2019ll send you copies of these books.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 You can make a donation over the phone, and just mention that you\u2019d like the books we were talking about on romance.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get those out to you; and again we want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d for your support of the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we want to encourage you to be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about how we define love.\u00a0 Chip Ingram has some thoughts on that subject.\u00a0 He\u2019ll be our guest tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can be back with us, as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302452","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302452"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302452"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302452"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302452"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302452"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302452"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302452"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}