{"id":302446,"date":"2012-01-19T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-01-19T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/having-a-marriage-without-regrets-part-1\/"},"modified":"2012-01-19T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2012-01-19T17:00:00","slug":"having-a-marriage-without-regrets-part-1","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/having-a-marriage-without-regrets-part-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Having a Marriage Without Regrets, Part 1"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If our marriages are going to flourish, we must know God&#8217;s standard for success.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-01-19.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.3M","filesize_raw":"24427889","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2805],"tags":[4213],"podcast_series":[7853],"cwp_profile":[3091],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302446","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-gods-plan-for-marriage","tag-love","podcast_series-having-a-marriage-without-regrets","cwp_profile-kay-arthur","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302446\/having-a-marriage-without-regrets-part-1","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302446\/having-a-marriage-without-regrets-part-1","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"BatnHFf6VK\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/having-a-marriage-without-regrets-part-1\/\">Having a Marriage Without Regrets, Part 1<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/having-a-marriage-without-regrets-part-1\/embed\/#?secret=BatnHFf6VK\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Having a Marriage Without Regrets, Part 1&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"BatnHFf6VK\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"If our marriages are going to flourish, we must know God's standard for success.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2012-01-19.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thousands of husbands and wives are settling for a satisfying marriage.\u00a0 Kay Arthur says they\u2019re setting their sights way too low.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 When I talk about a marriage without regrets, I'm not saying, \u201cHere is this wonderful marriage where you are just happy all the time;\u201d but I'm saying that someday each one of us is going to stand before God.\u00a0 Second Corinthians 5:10 says that Christians will stand at the judgment seat of Christ and give an answer for the deeds done in their body.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, January 19th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife<sup>\u00ae<\/sup>, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 What does it really mean to have a marriage that is centered in God's Word?\u00a0 We're going to hear about that from Kay Arthur today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us on the Thursday edition.\u00a0 Dennis, before we get started, I want to remind our listeners that this week is their one opportunity to sign up to attend an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em><em><sup>\u00ae<\/sup><\/em> marriage getaway and take advantage of the special offer we\u2019re making to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you register for one of the upcoming, spring <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> events, we are offering registration on a buy one, get one free basis.\u00a0 So, you pay for your registration; your spouse comes free.\u00a0 That\u2019s for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners, and it\u2019s <em>this week only<\/em>.\u00a0 So, we need to hear from you before the week is over.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can register online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 That\u2019s where you can find all of the information about when the conference is going to be and what location.\u00a0 You can see if it is in a city near you on a weekend that works for you.\u00a0 Of course, you have to identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener to take advantage of this special offer for listeners.\u00a0 So, we need for you to type my name\u2014type \u201cBOB\u201d into the promo code box that you see on the registration form.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, again, go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Get the information about when the conference is going to be in a city near where you live.\u00a0 Sign up online and type \u201cBOB\u201d into the promo code box; or call 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 Talk to somebody here at FamilyLife about when the conference is going to be near where you live.\u00a0 They can answer any questions you have about the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 It\u2019s a fun, romantic getaway for couples.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got dozens of these events happening this spring.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, this week is your only opportunity to take advantage of this special\u2014buy one, get one free offer that we\u2019re making for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 So, be sure to identify yourself as a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener when you call to register at 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe really do hope that you\u2019ll plan to attend one of these conferences.\u00a0 It\u2019s a great weekend getaway, a good tune-up for your marriage.\u00a0 Just so you know, the conference comes with a complete money-back guarantee.\u00a0 If for any reason you are not satisfied with the event, we\u2019ll give you the registration fee back, with no questions asked.\u00a0 So, you can\u2019t go wrong; alright?\u00a0 Let us hear from you.\u00a0 Call 1-800-FL-TODAY or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we are going to be talking today with one of our favorite people about one of our favorite subjects.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We are\u2014we're talking with a good friend, Kay Arthur.\u00a0 Kay joins us on the broadcast today.\u00a0 You know, it's always fun\u2014that grin.\u00a0 She's just grinning because she's one of the few guests that I've ever invited back who completely whips me at the microphone every time I invite her on the air.\u00a0 I mean\u2014you remember the last time we had her on, Bob?\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was ugly in here.\u00a0 I mean\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She\u2019s saying, \u201cBut I've got one more thing to say.\u201d\u00a0 You had one more thing to say; and that was, \u201cHow are we going to get to all of this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0I saw her later on in the day, after we had done the taping.\u00a0 We were taping at Christian Booksellers in Orlando, as I recall.\u00a0 I ran into her, and she still had more to say.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn't have a microphone then.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Haven't you ever studied man\/woman\u2014what's the difference? (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you're really good.\u00a0 Many of our listeners know Kay through her ministry, Precept Ministries.\u00a0 I know this\u2014there has to be some pencil producers somewhere in America that smile\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Many\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Many colored pencil producers.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014because Barbara has her multicolored pencils out.\u00a0 I mean, there\u2019s a table in our home that literally is cluttered with Precept Bible Studies, Barbara\u2019s pencils, and an open Bible.\u00a0 It\u2019s Technicolor.\u00a0 Barbara likes to watercolor; so, this is right down her alley, here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 I guess it is.\u00a0 I guess it is.\u00a0 You know what\u2019s so exciting?\u2014is when you meet the men on our staff, the male teachers.\u00a0 We have quite a few of them, and they\u2019re really all men.\u00a0 You see their Bibles; and you\u2019d think that they were into watercolors, too.\u00a0 I mean, they study inductively, and their lives show it, and their family show it.\u00a0 It is incredible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let's say that there's a person who hasn't heard of Precept\u2014I can't imagine that\u2014across the country.\u00a0 A person who is listening right now who is going, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I'd love to be trained in an inductive Bible study.\u201d\u00a0 How can they\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It sounds medical.\u00a0 It sounds clinical, \u201cInductive Bible study\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does, and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's really fun, though.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 It sounds clinical.\u00a0 Inductive simply means that you remove the middle man, and you go to the source yourself to find out, \u201cWhat's up?\u201d\u00a0 So, we teach you how to remove the middle\u2014not remove the middle man (We want the pastor in the pulpit, and we want the good commentaries and that)\u2014but how you can go to the Word of God yourself and <em>observe<\/em> the text in such a way that you really see what it says.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you really see what it says, what happens is interpretation, \u201cWhat does it mean?\u201d comes to the surface and then, \u201cWhat are the principles of interpretation?\u201d such as context and how it rules.\u00a0 Then, it doesn't stop there because it has to go to application\u2014not, \u201cWhat do I think about this passage?\u201d not, \u201cWhat does it <em>mean<\/em> to me?\u201d but, \u201cHow does it <em>apply<\/em> to me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The difference is when you dig it out yourself.\u00a0 It locks into your heart differently than if you read what some commentator wrote about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 It sure does, and we have\u2014we're doing from \u201ccradle to the grave\u201d in Bible study now.\u00a0 Kids are finding out, \u201cThis is what God says,\u201d so they can stand up to their peers, they can stand up to their teachers.\u00a0 It is the same with adults.\u00a0 We are living in a day and age when we need to learn to stand for truth, no matter the cost.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI heard you, on one of your programs, talking about <em>On This Day<\/em>.\u00a0 That's a devotional I use also.\u00a0 You read constantly of people\u2014it cost them their lives to stand for the truth.\u00a0 Those are the days that are coming.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI cannot stand for something I really don't know is absolute, pure, unadulterated truth.\u00a0 So, that's why Precept Ministries exists and crosses all denominational bounds.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If folks wanted to join a Precept Bible study, how would they go about finding one in their community?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, all they would have to do is log into our site on the internet, Precept, P-R-E-C-E-P-T.org, O-R-G.\u00a0 They can log into many of our sites in our different states; and we can tell them because we have courses, not only there, but all over the world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey can log in and find out what languages we're in.\u00a0 Many of them have neighbors that want to read in their own language: Spanish-speaking, Chinese, Korean, Romanians, Russians, or whatever.\u00a0 We're in all these different languages.\u00a0 So, they can actually get Bible studies for those people in those languages, or they can call our 800 number.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Dennis, we've got a link on our website at FamilyLife.com where people can get to Precepts website, and we can also pass along the 800 number to anybody who contacts us at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, it's our privilege here on FamilyLife to partner with all kinds of ministries around the country.\u00a0 I want folks to know we believe in Precept and what they're about and want to encourage our listeners to glean from these other ministries\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014the strength of what they're about\u2014because it will enrich your life, as an individual believer, as you make your marriage and your family go the distance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0Right, right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Kay, you have written a book that\u2014well, some of our listeners are going to go, \u201cWow!\u00a0 It's about time.\u201d\u00a0 Others may say, \u201cKind of interesting you'd write a book on marriage because\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Especially with that title.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Yes, <em>A Marriage Without Regrets.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 No matter where you are, no matter where you've been\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014you can have a marriage without regrets.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Before you became a believer, you had a marriage that failed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I have lots of regrets about that marriage.\u00a0 Yet, I have a clear conscience because I've come to know Christ since I was married to my husband.\u00a0 I married a man, and I wanted the storybook marriage.\u00a0 I wanted a marriage that was going to last.\u00a0 Divorce was not in my vocabulary.\u00a0 Six years later and two boys later, on the advice of two ministers that never opened the Word of God, I left my husband.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI shook my fist in the face of God; and I said, \u201cTo hell with You, God.\u201d\u00a0 It just kind of horrifies you to think of anybody saying that to God, but you see the grace of God.\u00a0 As I've said before, I didn't know that, before the foundation of the world, according to Ephesians 1, that He had said, \"To heaven with you, Kay.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, I went out; and I became an immoral woman.\u00a0 I went from one man, to another man, to another man.\u00a0 One of the things that I have shared because now, my son has been saved, my oldest son\u2014but my oldest son saw me be immoral; and that's so heartbreaking\u2014for a child to have to live with that image of his mother in the living room with this man.\u00a0 Yet, so many children are living with images and pictures that little minds shouldn't see.\u00a0 So, I was immoral.\u00a0 I went from one man to another man, looking for a man that would love me unconditionally.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne day, I saw a man; and He opened His arms <em>wide<\/em>.\u00a0 He nailed them to a cross; and He said, \u201cI love you this much.\u201d\u00a0 That's when I found the <em>Agape <\/em>kind of love, the unconditional love, that loves me when I'm a sinner, that loves me when I'm ungodly, that loves me when I'm an enemy, that loves me when I'm helpless and hopeless; and doesn't leave me in any of those states after that love takes root in my heart through believing in Jesus Christ.\u00a0 That's how I can write a book on a marriage without regrets.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things, guys, that really touches me is\u2014because I'm so open about my past\u2014and I'm open because after I married Jack and I had our third son, I remember sitting there, nursing him one day, and <em>crying<\/em> because I was on the mission field.\u00a0 I was working with teenagers, and I was teaching them how to be godly.\u00a0 I was teaching them what <em>God's Word<\/em> said.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought, \u201cGod, where were You when I was a teenager?\u00a0 Where were You?\u00a0 Why do I have to be married twice?\u00a0 Why do I have to have two boys that have had two fathers and have been through this pain?\u00a0 Why, God?\u201d God just showed me, \u201cI saved you, Kay, when I wanted to save you.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt's the Scripture in Galatians, Chapter 1.\u00a0 Precious ones, if you're listening and you're just ruing all your past, and moaning, and groaning about it like I was.\u00a0 You're saying, \u201cGod, You know I've messed up so bad.\u00a0 There's no way out; why didn't I know You sooner?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me share with you in Galatians 1.\u00a0 Paul is giving his testimony.\u00a0 Paul was the chief of sinners.\u00a0 Paul had murdered, had really been\u2014was guilty of putting Christians to death before he became a Christian; and Paul said, \u201cWhen it pleased <em>God<\/em> to reveal His Son in me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen God showed me that, I said, \u201cOkay.\u201d\u00a0 He just said to me in my heart, \u201cI saved you when I wanted to save you.\u00a0 Now, if you'll quit moaning and groaning about the past and you'll share it with others, I'll use that to give them hope.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 You see, He's the Redeemer.\u00a0 So, if I could see how He could take all my mistakes, and all my errors, and all my sins, and <em>redeem them<\/em>, and use them\u2014bring beauty out of ashes\u2014then, it was alright because my times are in His hands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, marriage\u2014no matter where you've been, no matter where you are, you can have a marriage without regrets. It's not saying you can have a perfect marriage because it takes two to make a perfect marriage.\u00a0 Let's face it\u2014the other partner does not always want to cooperate.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, how, then, can I have a marriage without regrets?\u00a0 How can you, as a woman or a man?\u00a0 If you're reaching out and your mate refuses to love you, or as so many share with me, your mate turns around, like this illustration\u2014it was a story from a woman that wrote me to tell me how God had sustained her because she knew the Word of God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis woman's husband came to her one day\u2014just walked into the kitchen and said, \u201cGet the kids.\u00a0 I want to talk to you.\u201d\u00a0 So, the three kids came.\u00a0 He's standing there in the kitchen.\u00a0 He says, \u201cI want you to know that I don't want to be part of this family anymore.\u00a0 I'm walking out, and I\u2019m not coming back.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne child just sat there stunned.\u00a0 The other child got up and ran screaming through the house.\u00a0 The middle child\u2014not the stunned child\u2014the middle child, I think, was the daughter.\u00a0 She began to try and reason with him and say, \u201cDaddy, how can you leave us?\u201d\u00a0 Finally, the stunned child, just\u2014it was just overwhelming.\u00a0 The mother sat there and saw this happen.\u00a0 How can she have a marriage without regrets?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, she knew the Word.\u00a0 She had been living the way God says, \u201cLive as a wife.\u201d\u00a0 So, when I talk about a marriage without regrets, I'm not saying, \u201cHere is this wonderful marriage where you are just totally in love\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You're happy all the time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cYou're happy all the time,\u201d but I'm saying that someday each one of us is going to stand before God.\u00a0 Second Corinthians 5:10 says that Christians will stand at the judgment seat of Christ and give an answer for the deeds done in their body.\u00a0 How can you have a marriage without regrets when you stand before God; and you can say, \u201cI did it Your way, not my way; I did it Your way\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's in contrast to the world's way because the Christian community, in many areas, is embracing what the world's way is, which is counseling one another to just bail out of the relationship and just divorce him or divorce her\u2014\u201cYou don't have to be unhappy.\u00a0 You don't have to be in an unpleasant situation.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 Let me take it one step further.\u00a0 Your mate was unfaithful to you.\u00a0 Now, infidelity is grounds for divorce\u2014the Bible teaches that.\u00a0 I do a whole chapter on divorce.\u00a0 So, we look at the biblical issues.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn this, if there's infidelity, you have grounds for divorce, but divorce doesn't\u2014sends the wrong message to the world.\u00a0 Because you see, you and I are the bride of Christ; and Jesus doesn't divorce us.\u00a0 When we sin, when we fail, He doesn't walk away.\u00a0 He's the Redeemer; He's the Restorer.\u00a0 So, I feel like we're never more like Christ than in the height of forgiveness and obedience and saying to the Father, \u201cNot my will but Thine be done.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI'll tell people, \u201cYes, you do have grounds for divorce; but is this God's will?\u00a0 Will you give God time to work in your partner?\u201d\u00a0 Grace has always been.\u00a0 Grace is not a new concept.\u00a0 Grace has been from the beginning.\u00a0 It started in the Garden of Eden with the first promise of Jesus Christ, and we've always been saved by grace.\u00a0 God uses that to show us how Abraham was saved before the law, you know, before circumcision.\u00a0 Abraham was saved by faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay, so, grace has always been there.\u00a0 The Law came by Moses to show me my sin; grace and truth were<em> realized<\/em> through Jesus Christ.\u00a0 I mean, here it is\u2014full-blown thing.\u00a0 Yes, you have a right to stone this woman to death, under the Law; but grace says, \u201cLet him who is without sin\u201d\u2014stone\u2014\u201ccast the first stone.\u201d\u00a0 So, I think that what we need to do is we need to give room for God to work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA woman was doing my <em>Marriage Without Regrets <\/em>Precept course.\u00a0 She started the course.\u00a0 Her husband came home and said, \u201cI want a divorce.\u00a0 I'm getting a divorce; nothing will stop me.\u201d\u00a0 The church came to him.\u00a0 He said to her in private, \u201cI'm going through counseling so I'll look good, but don't get your hopes up because I'm not coming back.\u201d\u00a0 He stayed in there\u2014went through counseling.\u00a0 So, then, she brings home the tapes.\u00a0 She says, \u201cWould you watch these tapes with me?\u201d\u00a0 He wants a divorce because he's been having an affair\u2014and she doesn't know it\u2014with her best friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe confesses that.\u00a0 He really doesn't want a divorce, but the sin is so great he wants a divorce.\u00a0 He's caught; he's trapped.\u00a0 See, sin takes us farther than we ever wanted to go.\u00a0 It costs more than we ever intended to pay, and it keeps us longer than we ever intended to stay.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, he confesses his adulterous affair.\u00a0 She, in turn, is told by the counselor, \u201cNow, are you going to live like Christ lived?\u00a0 Now, you're on trial.\u00a0 Are you going to forgive as Christ forgave?\u201d\u00a0 That marriage has been reconciled.\u00a0 This is what I'm talking about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIsrael got in trouble because she did not consider her future.\u00a0 She lifted up her skirts to every passerby.\u00a0 Her uncleanness was in her skirts.\u00a0 We are unclean.\u00a0 We are spiritual adulterers, and we are physical adulterers.\u00a0 We are not considering our future, and <em>Marriage Without Regrets<\/em> calls you to consider your future in many areas.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Kay, the problem within the Christian community today is that we have become soft.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Kay:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly! \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sometimes, using grace as an escape mechanism, saying, \u201cWell, whatever I do, whatever I want to do, God will forgive me.\u00a0 God will just cover it in grace.\u201d\u00a0 That kind of presumptuous spirit, I think, is really dangerous for an individual and, certainly, for the church or the Christian community as a whole.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrankly, because of that, we're now dealing with a generation of young people who are coming out of broken homes, divorced homes, who don't know of the kind of commitment you've spoken about here, where a woman or a man is hanging into a relationship, fulfilling their part of the covenant, even when the other person has broken their vows to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think today, within Christian circles, what we've got to do is we have got to\u2014out of the dust and the rubble, what you write about in some of your books\u2014we've got to repent.\u00a0 We've got to repent of our attitude about divorce and about encouraging people to escape their marriage.\u00a0 We've got to call them back to their commitment.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA book like this, <em>A Marriage Without Regrets,<\/em> what you've done in here is\u2014through your own brokenness, and your own rubble, and the ashes of your life\u2014you give people hope that they can experience that as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have the book available in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center, and we'd love to send a copy out to you.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how to get a copy of Kay Arthur\u2019s book, <em>A Marriage Without Regrets<\/em>; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY to ask about the book.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or you can call 1-800-FL-TODAY, and we\u2019ll make arrangements to get a copy of the book sent to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t forget, this week we are encouraging listeners to sign up for an upcoming FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway.\u00a0 You and your spouse can attend one of the upcoming spring getaways.\u00a0 If you register this week, when you pay for one registration, we\u2019ll throw the other one in for free.\u00a0 So, you pay for your own, and your spouse comes at no additional cost.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s a buy one, get one free opportunity, and it\u2019s only for <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listeners.\u00a0 To take advantage of it, we need to hear from you before the weekend is over.\u00a0 We need you to call 1-800-FL-TODAY to register.\u00a0 We can answer any questions you have\u2014let you know about dates and locations; get all that squared away.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you want to investigate on your own, go to FamilyLifeToday.com; and all of the information is available there about dates and locations.\u00a0 You can register online as well.\u00a0 Keep in mind\u2014you need to let us know you\u2019re a <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> listener to qualify for this buy one, get one free opportunity.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you\u2019re registering online, type my name in the promo code box\u2014type in \u201cBOB\u201d.\u00a0 That way, we\u2019ll know you listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 If you call 1-800-FL-TODAY, just say, \u201cI\u2019m a listener.\u00a0 I heard about this special offer,\u201d and you will qualify.\u00a0 It\u2019s only good through the end of the weekend; so, let us hear from you.\u00a0 Call 1-800-FL-TODAY or go online to register at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne more thing before we\u2019re done.\u00a0 We are aware, here at FamilyLife, that there are a lot of U.S. servicemen and women who are finally returning home after having been deployed, been overseas for a deployment.\u00a0 As you know, the reentry can often be a rocky situation.\u00a0 We have established a scholarship fund to send servicemen and women and their spouses to one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways this spring, as our guests.\u00a0 <br><br>The fund is called \u201cThe Finally Home to Family\u201d fund.\u00a0 If you would like to make a donation to help sponsor a service member and spouse at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> getaways this spring, go to FamilyLifeToday.com and click on the link that you see there that says, \u201cFinally Home to Family\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOr, if you\u2019d like, you can text a donation.\u00a0 Text the word, \u201cHOME\u201d, to the number 28950.\u00a0 The word is \u201cHOME\u201d.\u00a0 Text that to 28950, and you\u2019ll get instructions on how you can make a donation on your mobile phone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, we appreciate whatever you can do in helping us with this scholarship fund so that we can help as many service people and their spouses to an upcoming <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway and help ease the reentry into being back together as husband and wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow.\u00a0 Kay Arthur is going to be here again.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to continue to talk about having a marriage with no regrets.\u00a0 I hope you can be here for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2012 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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