{"id":302430,"date":"2011-12-28T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-12-28T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/getting-away-how-tos\/"},"modified":"2011-12-28T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-12-28T17:00:00","slug":"getting-away-how-tos","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/getting-away-how-tos\/","title":{"rendered":"Getting Away How-To&#8217;s"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Long-time pastor Bill Wellons and his wife of over 30 years, Carolyn, tell couples how they managed throughout their marriage to get away alone together in order to seal their relationship as husband and wife.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-12-28.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.39M","filesize_raw":"26622146","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2809],"tags":[4086,4527,4926,2877],"podcast_series":[7459],"cwp_profile":[9014],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302430","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-commitment","tag-commitment","tag-communication","tag-faithfulness","tag-marriage","podcast_series-getting-away-to-get-it-together","cwp_profile-bill-and-carolyn-wellons","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302430\/getting-away-how-tos","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302430\/getting-away-how-tos","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"QokiTFYOe5\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/getting-away-how-tos\/\">Getting Away How-To&#8217;s<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/getting-away-how-tos\/embed\/#?secret=QokiTFYOe5\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Getting Away How-To&#8217;s&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"QokiTFYOe5\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-12-28.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-12-28.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Throughout their marriage, Bill and Carolyn Wellons have planned a getaway every six months or so.\u00a0 It's always been hard to get away because life is going so fast; but, as Carolyn says, it's hard not to get away, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 The benefit of having these getaways is really, like Bill said, intentional parenting\u2014intentional in our marriage relationship.\u00a0 It's making sure that good intentions get done.\u00a0 When you get away every six months or so to talk, dream, and plan about things, then, the important things of life are on the agenda\u2014they're on the radar\u2014so, they get done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, December 28th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Do you ever wish you could buy some marriage insurance?\u00a0 Well, we may have some thoughts for you about that today.\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.\u00a0 Just a couple days left in 2011\u2014been a good year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It has been a great year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s been exciting around here over the last several days as many of our listeners have been getting in touch with us and saying, \u201cWe appreciate the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 We just want to say thanks for those of you who have called or who have gone online to make a yearend donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour donations are critically important at this time of year, especially because of this matching gift fund that was established earlier in the month and that has no grown to more than $4 million\u2014the largest matching gift fund that we\u2019ve ever experienced, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right, Bob.\u00a0 In order to take full advantage of this matching challenge that these\u2014well, these stakeholders in <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> have really established, we need you as a listener to step up and make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and say, \u201cI want to keep you on the air.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I\u2019d like to speak to three groups of people.\u00a0 Number one: I want to speak to Legacy Partners\u2014that\u2019s our monthly donors\u2014you guys keep us going.\u00a0 Thank you so much for your monthly gifts.\u00a0 Could you give us a little extra here at the end of the year to help us keep this broadcast coming?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, I\u2019d like to speak to those who\u2019ve given in the past.\u00a0 They thought they gave this past year, Bob, but the months kind of run together after awhile\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Time slips away, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and it may have been two or three years ago.\u00a0 We need you to give again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, finally, I\u2019d like to really challenge those who have never given a gift to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> but who really like what we do here in terms of equipping marriages and families to go the distance\u2014to pick up the phone or go online and check it out.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see how far away we are from taking full advantage of the matching challenge and say, \u201cI want you guys to keep coming to my home, to my car, to my place of work with this broadcast; or so, I can listen online free.\u00a0 I want to give a gift to make that happen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d and make a yearend donation; or call us 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a yearend donation.\u00a0 Again, when you do, that donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar until we get to that total amount of $4 million.\u00a0 As Dennis said, we are not quite there yet. So, we hope to hear from you.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number; or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and make a yearend donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we want to talk, as we\u2019ve talking about all this week, about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'll see you later, Bob.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, you're out of here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm out of here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, are you going to hang around for the program before you leave\u2014can't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m going\u2014yes\u2014I just need you to be brief today, as we have the program, because my bags are packed and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\"I'm ready to go.\u00a0 I\u2019m standing here outside your door\u2014hate to wake you up to say goodbye.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara and I are heading out for a getaway with a couple of very good friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who happen to be our guests on today's program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\u00a0 Bill and Carolyn Wellons join us again.\u00a0 Thanks for coming back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's great to be back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and thanks for getting away with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hope you can all stay around long enough; so that, I'm not here doing the end of the program all by myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hope you have a good weekend, Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This whole concept\u2014we have been talking this week about couples getting some time\u2014carving out some time to get away just to focus on their marriage, their family, to relax, refresh, renew.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys have written a workbook called <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em> that has projects couples can make a part of that weekend; so that, it can be a little more purposeful and a little more intentional.\u00a0 I just imagine some couples are going, \"That sounds really good, but I just don't know how we're going to pull something like that off.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Bill and Carolyn have been I the ministry now for almost 35 years\u2014pastorate.\u00a0 People don't think of that as being a high-stress, high pressure job; but trust me, folks, it is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe ministry is very hard on marriages and families in the midst of meeting other people's spiritual, emotional, and physical needs in the ministry.\u00a0 So, Bill and Carolyn in the process of their marriage\u2014surviving over 35 years of the pastorate\u2014have developed a workbook to equip couples with many of the practical things they've learned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet's start with some basics here.\u00a0 How often do you do this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our goal is to do it twice year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How many nights?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have found, Dennis, that two nights and parts of three days is the best.\u00a0 We've done the one-night retreat; but it's kind of like about the time you start unwinding and are really beginning to make progress, you have to start thinking about packing up to go home.\u00a0 So, we recommend at least two nights\u2014like leave a mid-afternoon and come back a mid-afternoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me stop.\u00a0 You said your goal is twice a year, but Dennis asked the question, \u201cHow often do you do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was afraid you'd catch that, Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In reality, how often do you get away\u2014once a year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Once a year, for sure.\u00a0 Most years, we have actually done two times, but I wouldn't want to sound ritualistic so much.\u00a0 There are seasons of life where it is more challenging and so forth and so on.\u00a0 So, I want to admit to that.\u00a0 Again, we have mentioned a project that we have found a lot of value in because it made us\u2014put us on a proactive basis in our calendar coordination\u2014we look at that at home.\u00a0 We try to take a monthly overview at home, too.\u00a0 It's not like you do it one time, and you've got it all memorized.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to stop you there because what you were saying was you used these planning retreats to establish a calendar where you're actually planning the planning retreats while you're on a retreat.\u00a0 Is that what you're saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 You're setting some dates\u2014you're trying to block out some times in advance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How far out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 In our case, we'd go about every six months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, on one retreat, you'd plan the next one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just imagining, again, Mary Ann and me sitting down and saying, \u201cOkay, let's block out this weekend in October when we're going to go out.\u201d\u00a0 Now, as October gets near, life starts to crowd in.\u00a0 You start looking at that weekend, and you say, \u201cCan we afford to do that?\u201d\u00a0 Then, you're back to the issue of \u201cWell, what's your priority?\u201d\u00a0 What do you have to do?\u00a0 What other things can you dump over?\u00a0 This has been something that you've been reluctant to cancel, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I was going to say as a young mom having something to look forward to, getting out of town was really a priority for me.\u00a0 There was so much daily living of the taking care of children, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and so forth that having something to look forward to, to get out of town, was one of the highlights.\u00a0 That was part of the success of it, I think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we tried hard not to cancel it once it was on the calendar.\u00a0 Sometimes, we'd have to postpone it.\u00a0 If things were coming up and the issues at church were so busy or challenges were so consuming at that time, we would postpone it but rarely.\u00a0 We really tried to keep that.\u00a0 It was such a priority for the health of our marriage and our communication.\u00a0 We needed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 For Barbara and me, I don't think we ever canceled one.\u00a0 The reason was our calendar is such we typically had to go out a year.\u00a0 We knew if we canceled, it might be another six to twelve months before we had the possibility of having another one.\u00a0 We, also, found, for us\u2014now, this is just who we are\u2014we liked three nights away.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTypically, we always got out of town much later on Friday night than when we thought we'd get out of town.\u00a0 So, we arrived at a log cabin or at a hotel or wherever we were going to stay\u20149, 9:30, 10:00 at night\u2014totally whipped, exhausted; slept in the next morning.\u00a0 It was kind of like at that point the retreat was starting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you come back on the third day, you've got about 36 hours\u2014less than 36 hours before you have to come back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys had some solutions about babysitting; and my challenge\u2014my most practical application would be to the husbands: Take responsibility for the babysitter or for the childcare and solve this problem for your wife.\u00a0 For Barbara, this was the greatest gift I could give her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I totally agree, Dennis.\u00a0 I had to learn that through trial and error, but it absolutely provides so much security and confidence to your wife.\u00a0 It just puts her in a totally different frame of mind to do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe did a variety of things from hiring someone and paying them to keep our children while we were gone.\u00a0 We have been blessed.\u00a0 Carolyn's mom, in particular, has just been a wonderful grandmother to our children and on many occasions kept our children for us.\u00a0 Then, we also traded off with other couples.\u00a0 We would keep their kids; so, they could have a getaway together.\u00a0 Then, they'd do the same for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about how you managed this financially and places to stay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You're a pastor.\u00a0 You're not raking in big bucks; so, getting away to a resort\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm not.\u00a0 Again, we've done a variety of things.\u00a0 I remember some retreats in a state park in a popup camper where we got away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hang on, hang on, hang on.\u00a0 Time out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That really sounds romantic, doesn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn't say romantic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you all into this popup camper idea for the retreat?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did.\u00a0 We did that with our little children several times when they were younger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second, we're talking about <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm talking about just the two of you in a popup camper?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did do that with our families, but we still utilized state parks.\u00a0 They have cabins, or they have places that you can stay in that were less expensive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you did not have a planning retreat in a popup camper?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don't believe we did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 You guys are getting awful technical.\u00a0 I guess we didn't.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm just trying to imagine, \u201cHey, honey, let's go away for a weekend in a popup camper.\u201d\u00a0 I'm sure there are some wives who would go, \u201cThat's great,\u201d but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We should have paid Bill more.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's the walking back and forth to the bathroom that probably would be the end of it for my wife, right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have also been grateful recipients of friends who had a cabin or a small house on the lake or something like that that made those available to us; so, that, again, was a tremendous opportunity for us.\u00a0 Then, like I said, I think, in one of the earlier broadcasts, we took advantage of off-season times at places when the rates are significantly less.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say one thing to the guys because I know how they're thinking, because it's how I thought\u2014you think, \u201cHow in the world am I going to save enough money to go off and do this?\u00a0 Is it worth it?\u201d\u00a0 I would just say that having a retreat with your wife is the best investment you will ever make.\u00a0 You will get the best return on investment of your money for that than you will on anything else you do in your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, your book, <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em>, which lays out how you can have one of these planning weekends, is really a small portion of the cost of the weekend.\u00a0 If you look at your marriage maintenance and just refreshment, it is a practical way to invest in it on a semi-annual basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to mention the book, too, because we've talked about the projects that are in the book that give couples an opportunity to be prompted to connect relationally.\u00a0 That's really what you've done.\u00a0 You've given us some relationship prompts here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've talked about a couple of them already this week, but just give us some ideas about what you've included.\u00a0 I presume these are things that came to mind over time as you were doing these, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, they did.\u00a0 We didn't have 12 projects the first time we had a retreat together, Bob.\u00a0 They did occur over time and progressively, but we found ourselves repeating some things and, then, starting some new things.\u00a0 So, we started to capture the ideas because they were so simple.\u00a0 They were so easy to do for us, and we knew anyone could do them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one that we've enjoyed is about the kind of legacy that you would like to leave as a couple.\u00a0 Again, it's a very simple thing.\u00a0 You just take some time as husband and wife.\u00a0 You talk about values, principles, beliefs, and convictions that you want to represent your marriage and your household\u2014to begin to say, \u201cWell, this would be like our covenant.\u00a0 This would be like the legacy of our house.\u00a0 This is what we want written on the walls of the relationships of our family.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things that we haven't talked about this week was a dark valley you all traveled through.\u00a0 Carolyn, you had breast cancer.\u00a0 You actually used one of these planning weekends to celebrate her final chemo, and you went to Maui.\u00a0 Now, which one of these projects did you do at that time because that had to be a tremendous planning retreat?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was a celebration of just life itself.\u00a0 As you were saying, Bob, there are 12 projects in this getaway planning book.\u00a0 You look at them before you go on a retreat, and you just look at two or three that for that season of life is most pertinent to your marriage at that time to talk about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, for getting through those weeks of chemotherapy, just looking out on the horizon, like I mentioned before, having something to look forward to\u2014\u201cWe're going to Maui.\u00a0 We're going to celebrate.\u00a0 We're going to have a wonderful vacation\u201d\u2014I can make it through this time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, you feel like that just in the day-to-day life of changing diapers and wiping noses and fixing meals and all\u2014it's just having something to look forward to.\u00a0 That was certainly the ultimate of our getaway destinations.\u00a0 They were not all like that, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn't stay in a popup camper in Maui, did you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, we didn't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just making sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 As I look back on those times when Barbara and I got away\u2014yes, there was the benefit of romance in our schedule and the pace of life and all that, but I think the getaway not only kept our marriage vibrant; but it enabled Barbara and me to stay on the same song sheet as we were raising our kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, it's so easy to drift apart as a couple in your relationship, but it's real easy to drift apart in raising kids.\u00a0 We both have different context and backgrounds from which we come, and we're parenting out of those backgrounds.\u00a0 Like you were saying, Carolyn, we've got a perspective where we think we're right, and our spouse isn't necessarily agreeing with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor Barbara and me, those weekends enabled us to work through a lot of the static; hear one another; I think, adjust to one another; and ultimately, come to an agreement around plan and how we're going to relate to our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Over 35 years of marriage, you guys have invested a lot of time, a fair amount of money, some energy\u2014you have taken the time to make this investment in your marriage.\u00a0 I'm sure there are folks who think, \u201cThat's good for them.\u00a0 I'm not sure we need it.\u201d\u00a0 It's kind of like the people who say you should change the oil every 3,000 miles, and you think, \u201cCan I really go five?\u00a0 What happens if I go ten?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy question is where do you think your marriage would be\u2014how do you think things would be different if you hadn't made this a discipline in your relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don't think I'd have near as clear an understanding of my wife and our family as I have as a result of taking it.\u00a0 I don't think that we would have been on the same page.\u00a0 I think we would have found ourselves colliding in the midst of a busy kind of a rat-race world, having to make final decisions on the fly; and probably, would have resulted in some conflict and greater disharmony.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, for us, the great discovery was just how proactive this put us as a team in managing our home and our relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Carolyn, what do you imagine life would have been like if this hadn't been a part of things?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we would have been going on separate tracks and having our own agendas that we felt like were right.\u00a0 So, we were pretty self-sufficient, and it would have been a lot of tension and more conflict.\u00a0 The benefit of having these getaways is really, like Bill said, intentional parenting, intentional in our marriage relationship.\u00a0 It's making sure that good intentions get done, and then, you get satisfied and grateful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can imagine, Dennis, that a lot of couples who arrive at that new stage of life that's the empty-nest stage\u2014if they've not being doing the maintenance, they do arrive there; and they're at two different places.\u00a0 Whereas the couples who have made this discipline of getting away regularly a priority in their marriage, they get over that hump of the empty nest a little easier because they've been teaming up all the way along.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can drift apart in six months; but if you have a little wheel alignment of a getaway, where you kind of bring the schedule and the relationship back into alignment and instead of being on two separate tracks, as Carolyn was talking about, that will keep that situation that you described from happening.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I had a\u2014well, it was more than a weekend getaway\u2014we had more than just three days to get away when we became empty-nesters.\u00a0 We used that as a time to get away to talk about how we wanted the rest of our lives to look like as empty-nesters.\u00a0 We moved from the empty nest to what we call \u201cprime time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, before we're finished today, there is one last question, which is one of those reality questions that I want to ask Bill and Carolyn.\u00a0 I know they experienced this, but I want you to share with our listeners how they can get a copy of Bill and Carolyn's book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'll do that, and I\u2019ll try and make it quick because I know you've got to get out of here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 My bags are packed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We do have copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy.\u00a0 Of course, this week if you make a yearend donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019ll send you a copy of Bill and Carolyn\u2019s book at no cost.\u00a0 It\u2019s our thank you gift to you for your support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, you donation this week is being matched dollar for dollar up to that total of what is now more than $4 million in our matching gift fund\u2014largest matching gift we\u2019ve ever had access to.\u00a0 So, we\u2019re asking all of you to do whatever you can do to help us take full advantage of that matching gift.\u00a0 We have to hear from you this week for that to happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d\u2014not only will your donation be matched dollar for dollar, but we\u2019ll send you a copy of Bill and Carolyn\u2019s planning guide, <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em>\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make a donation over the phone, and just ask about the planning guide when you call; so, we know that you\u2019d like to receive a copy of it and we\u2019ll be happy to send it to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain the toll-free number, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word \u201cTODAY\u201d; or make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Dennis\u2026.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bill and Carolyn Wellons have been our guests on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and we've been talking about <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em> how couples can have purposeful planning weekends.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBill and Carolyn, I've got one last question for you here.\u00a0 When Barbara and I did this three days we were talking in whole sentences without being interrupted.\u00a0 There was no noise around our meals.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 You kind of remember why you married each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely\u2014why we were attracted to each other in the first place.\u00a0 We're driving home, and then, there's that moment called \"reentry.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Reentry.\u00a0 I'm going to tell you something: I need to hear your best tips for couples with families\u2014when you step off the oasis and step back on the mainland.\u00a0 I mean, usually you walk back into illness, diapers, griping, complaining, blaming\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Reality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Babysitters are tied up in a corner.\u00a0 It's like we'll never do this again.\u00a0 What's your best tip for reentry?\u00a0 I want both of you to make a pass at this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I totally identify with your explanation of reentry.\u00a0 In the same way, I could feel the chains sort of dropping off as I drove out of town on the front end.\u00a0 I felt like the ball and chain was being reattached as I came back into the city.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe best tip for me, Dennis\u2014there's really two aspects to it.\u00a0 One just has to do with anticipation and real expectations.\u00a0 What you have been on has just been\u2014you've jumped off the world's treadmill.\u00a0 You stepped off of it.\u00a0 The treadmill was still running, but you stepped off of it to go away for a few days together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, yes, peace came back.\u00a0 You began to talk in complete sentences, you felt rested, and all that; but you're exactly right.\u00a0 You're going to come back in, and that treadmill is moving faster than you're walking\u2014and just having a healthy expectation about that, praying about that, realizing that the warfare a couple has in this world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe enemy does not want us to be unified, does not want us to be clear, does not want us to be relational, on the same page, and all that.\u00a0 To be aware of that and praying and anticipating that, I think that's the best that you can do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Carolyn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I agree.\u00a0 We would look at each other and laugh in the car when we were driving back into town and say, \u201cAre you ready?\u00a0 Are you ready?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOkay, we're ready.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is something about that partnership\u2014knowing that you and your husband or you and your wife are on the same page, that you've connected, that you're partnering together, and then, keeping a sense of humor.\u00a0 I mean, it's just comical.\u00a0 If you step back and look at it\u2014about all the demands that the children are typically going to be more demanding, more challenging at the time.\u00a0 So, if you can just glance over in the chaos there and kind of smile at each other and say, \"Here we are.\u00a0 Here we go.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn't ask me, but my tip is to arrive back home after the kids are in bed so that you can go right to sleep\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and when you wake up the next morning you go, \u201cWas it all a dream or did we really have that time away?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 My best tip is as you walk back in the house: Expect a test.\u00a0 You've gotten away to get together.\u00a0 You are one.\u00a0 You\u2019re lockstep.\u00a0 You're headed in the same direction, and, all of a sudden, these little critters come up.\u00a0 They immediately start to try to divide you.\u00a0 Expect a test but be resolute and develop some kind of non-verbal signal, whether it be a wink or a hug or a smile with your spouse that lets them know, \u201cHey, sweetheart, here is the test.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 We're in this together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We're in it, and we\u2019re in this together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["25.39M"],"filesize_raw":["26622146"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302430.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302430.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 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pastor Bill Wellons and his wife of over 30 years, Carolyn, tell couples how they managed throughout their marriage to get away alone together in order to seal their relationship as husband and wife.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-12-28.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Throughout their marriage, Bill and Carolyn Wellons have planned a getaway every six months or so.\u00a0 It's always been hard to get away because life is going so fast; but, as Carolyn says, it's hard not to get away, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 The benefit of having these getaways is really, like Bill said, intentional parenting\u2014intentional in our marriage relationship.\u00a0 It's making sure that good intentions get done.\u00a0 When you get away every six months or so to talk, dream, and plan about things, then, the important things of life are on the agenda\u2014they're on the radar\u2014so, they get done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, December 28th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Do you ever wish you could buy some marriage insurance?\u00a0 Well, we may have some thoughts for you about that today.\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us on the Wednesday edition.\u00a0 Just a couple days left in 2011\u2014been a good year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It has been a great year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s been exciting around here over the last several days as many of our listeners have been getting in touch with us and saying, \u201cWe appreciate the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 We just want to say thanks for those of you who have called or who have gone online to make a yearend donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYour donations are critically important at this time of year, especially because of this matching gift fund that was established earlier in the month and that has no grown to more than $4 million\u2014the largest matching gift fund that we\u2019ve ever experienced, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right, Bob.\u00a0 In order to take full advantage of this matching challenge that these\u2014well, these stakeholders in <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> have really established, we need you as a listener to step up and make a donation to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and say, \u201cI want to keep you on the air.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I\u2019d like to speak to three groups of people.\u00a0 Number one: I want to speak to Legacy Partners\u2014that\u2019s our monthly donors\u2014you guys keep us going.\u00a0 Thank you so much for your monthly gifts.\u00a0 Could you give us a little extra here at the end of the year to help us keep this broadcast coming?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, I\u2019d like to speak to those who\u2019ve given in the past.\u00a0 They thought they gave this past year, Bob, but the months kind of run together after awhile\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Time slips away, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and it may have been two or three years ago.\u00a0 We need you to give again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, finally, I\u2019d like to really challenge those who have never given a gift to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> but who really like what we do here in terms of equipping marriages and families to go the distance\u2014to pick up the phone or go online and check it out.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see how far away we are from taking full advantage of the matching challenge and say, \u201cI want you guys to keep coming to my home, to my car, to my place of work with this broadcast; or so, I can listen online free.\u00a0 I want to give a gift to make that happen.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE,\u201d and make a yearend donation; or call us 1-800-FL-TODAY to make a yearend donation.\u00a0 Again, when you do, that donation is going to be matched dollar for dollar until we get to that total amount of $4 million.\u00a0 As Dennis said, we are not quite there yet. So, we hope to hear from you.\u00a0 1-800-FL-TODAY is the number; or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and make a yearend donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday, we want to talk, as we\u2019ve talking about all this week, about\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'll see you later, Bob.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, you're out of here?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm out of here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Well, are you going to hang around for the program before you leave\u2014can't you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m going\u2014yes\u2014I just need you to be brief today, as we have the program, because my bags are packed and\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>\"I'm ready to go.\u00a0 I\u2019m standing here outside your door\u2014hate to wake you up to say goodbye.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Barbara and I are heading out for a getaway with a couple of very good friends.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Who happen to be our guests on today's program.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That's right.\u00a0 Bill and Carolyn Wellons join us again.\u00a0 Thanks for coming back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's great to be back.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and thanks for getting away with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hope you can all stay around long enough; so that, I'm not here doing the end of the program all by myself.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I hope you have a good weekend, Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This whole concept\u2014we have been talking this week about couples getting some time\u2014carving out some time to get away just to focus on their marriage, their family, to relax, refresh, renew.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys have written a workbook called <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em> that has projects couples can make a part of that weekend; so that, it can be a little more purposeful and a little more intentional.\u00a0 I just imagine some couples are going, \"That sounds really good, but I just don't know how we're going to pull something like that off.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Bill and Carolyn have been I the ministry now for almost 35 years\u2014pastorate.\u00a0 People don't think of that as being a high-stress, high pressure job; but trust me, folks, it is.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe ministry is very hard on marriages and families in the midst of meeting other people's spiritual, emotional, and physical needs in the ministry.\u00a0 So, Bill and Carolyn in the process of their marriage\u2014surviving over 35 years of the pastorate\u2014have developed a workbook to equip couples with many of the practical things they've learned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet's start with some basics here.\u00a0 How often do you do this?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our goal is to do it twice year.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How many nights?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have found, Dennis, that two nights and parts of three days is the best.\u00a0 We've done the one-night retreat; but it's kind of like about the time you start unwinding and are really beginning to make progress, you have to start thinking about packing up to go home.\u00a0 So, we recommend at least two nights\u2014like leave a mid-afternoon and come back a mid-afternoon.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me stop.\u00a0 You said your goal is twice a year, but Dennis asked the question, \u201cHow often do you do this?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was afraid you'd catch that, Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In reality, how often do you get away\u2014once a year?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Once a year, for sure.\u00a0 Most years, we have actually done two times, but I wouldn't want to sound ritualistic so much.\u00a0 There are seasons of life where it is more challenging and so forth and so on.\u00a0 So, I want to admit to that.\u00a0 Again, we have mentioned a project that we have found a lot of value in because it made us\u2014put us on a proactive basis in our calendar coordination\u2014we look at that at home.\u00a0 We try to take a monthly overview at home, too.\u00a0 It's not like you do it one time, and you've got it all memorized.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to stop you there because what you were saying was you used these planning retreats to establish a calendar where you're actually planning the planning retreats while you're on a retreat.\u00a0 Is that what you're saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 You're setting some dates\u2014you're trying to block out some times in advance.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How far out?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 In our case, we'd go about every six months.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, on one retreat, you'd plan the next one.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just imagining, again, Mary Ann and me sitting down and saying, \u201cOkay, let's block out this weekend in October when we're going to go out.\u201d\u00a0 Now, as October gets near, life starts to crowd in.\u00a0 You start looking at that weekend, and you say, \u201cCan we afford to do that?\u201d\u00a0 Then, you're back to the issue of \u201cWell, what's your priority?\u201d\u00a0 What do you have to do?\u00a0 What other things can you dump over?\u00a0 This has been something that you've been reluctant to cancel, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I was going to say as a young mom having something to look forward to, getting out of town was really a priority for me.\u00a0 There was so much daily living of the taking care of children, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and so forth that having something to look forward to, to get out of town, was one of the highlights.\u00a0 That was part of the success of it, I think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we tried hard not to cancel it once it was on the calendar.\u00a0 Sometimes, we'd have to postpone it.\u00a0 If things were coming up and the issues at church were so busy or challenges were so consuming at that time, we would postpone it but rarely.\u00a0 We really tried to keep that.\u00a0 It was such a priority for the health of our marriage and our communication.\u00a0 We needed it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 For Barbara and me, I don't think we ever canceled one.\u00a0 The reason was our calendar is such we typically had to go out a year.\u00a0 We knew if we canceled, it might be another six to twelve months before we had the possibility of having another one.\u00a0 We, also, found, for us\u2014now, this is just who we are\u2014we liked three nights away.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTypically, we always got out of town much later on Friday night than when we thought we'd get out of town.\u00a0 So, we arrived at a log cabin or at a hotel or wherever we were going to stay\u20149, 9:30, 10:00 at night\u2014totally whipped, exhausted; slept in the next morning.\u00a0 It was kind of like at that point the retreat was starting.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 If you come back on the third day, you've got about 36 hours\u2014less than 36 hours before you have to come back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou guys had some solutions about babysitting; and my challenge\u2014my most practical application would be to the husbands: Take responsibility for the babysitter or for the childcare and solve this problem for your wife.\u00a0 For Barbara, this was the greatest gift I could give her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I totally agree, Dennis.\u00a0 I had to learn that through trial and error, but it absolutely provides so much security and confidence to your wife.\u00a0 It just puts her in a totally different frame of mind to do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe did a variety of things from hiring someone and paying them to keep our children while we were gone.\u00a0 We have been blessed.\u00a0 Carolyn's mom, in particular, has just been a wonderful grandmother to our children and on many occasions kept our children for us.\u00a0 Then, we also traded off with other couples.\u00a0 We would keep their kids; so, they could have a getaway together.\u00a0 Then, they'd do the same for us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about how you managed this financially and places to stay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You're a pastor.\u00a0 You're not raking in big bucks; so, getting away to a resort\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm not.\u00a0 Again, we've done a variety of things.\u00a0 I remember some retreats in a state park in a popup camper where we got away.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hang on, hang on, hang on.\u00a0 Time out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That really sounds romantic, doesn't it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn't say romantic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Were you all into this popup camper idea for the retreat?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did.\u00a0 We did that with our little children several times when they were younger.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now, wait a second, we're talking about <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm talking about just the two of you in a popup camper?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 We did do that with our families, but we still utilized state parks.\u00a0 They have cabins, or they have places that you can stay in that were less expensive.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, you did not have a planning retreat in a popup camper?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don't believe we did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 You guys are getting awful technical.\u00a0 I guess we didn't.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'm just trying to imagine, \u201cHey, honey, let's go away for a weekend in a popup camper.\u201d\u00a0 I'm sure there are some wives who would go, \u201cThat's great,\u201d but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We should have paid Bill more.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It's the walking back and forth to the bathroom that probably would be the end of it for my wife, right there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 We have also been grateful recipients of friends who had a cabin or a small house on the lake or something like that that made those available to us; so, that, again, was a tremendous opportunity for us.\u00a0 Then, like I said, I think, in one of the earlier broadcasts, we took advantage of off-season times at places when the rates are significantly less.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me just say one thing to the guys because I know how they're thinking, because it's how I thought\u2014you think, \u201cHow in the world am I going to save enough money to go off and do this?\u00a0 Is it worth it?\u201d\u00a0 I would just say that having a retreat with your wife is the best investment you will ever make.\u00a0 You will get the best return on investment of your money for that than you will on anything else you do in your marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, your book, <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em>, which lays out how you can have one of these planning weekends, is really a small portion of the cost of the weekend.\u00a0 If you look at your marriage maintenance and just refreshment, it is a practical way to invest in it on a semi-annual basis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to mention the book, too, because we've talked about the projects that are in the book that give couples an opportunity to be prompted to connect relationally.\u00a0 That's really what you've done.\u00a0 You've given us some relationship prompts here.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe've talked about a couple of them already this week, but just give us some ideas about what you've included.\u00a0 I presume these are things that came to mind over time as you were doing these, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely, they did.\u00a0 We didn't have 12 projects the first time we had a retreat together, Bob.\u00a0 They did occur over time and progressively, but we found ourselves repeating some things and, then, starting some new things.\u00a0 So, we started to capture the ideas because they were so simple.\u00a0 They were so easy to do for us, and we knew anyone could do them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother one that we've enjoyed is about the kind of legacy that you would like to leave as a couple.\u00a0 Again, it's a very simple thing.\u00a0 You just take some time as husband and wife.\u00a0 You talk about values, principles, beliefs, and convictions that you want to represent your marriage and your household\u2014to begin to say, \u201cWell, this would be like our covenant.\u00a0 This would be like the legacy of our house.\u00a0 This is what we want written on the walls of the relationships of our family.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things that we haven't talked about this week was a dark valley you all traveled through.\u00a0 Carolyn, you had breast cancer.\u00a0 You actually used one of these planning weekends to celebrate her final chemo, and you went to Maui.\u00a0 Now, which one of these projects did you do at that time because that had to be a tremendous planning retreat?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was a celebration of just life itself.\u00a0 As you were saying, Bob, there are 12 projects in this getaway planning book.\u00a0 You look at them before you go on a retreat, and you just look at two or three that for that season of life is most pertinent to your marriage at that time to talk about.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, for getting through those weeks of chemotherapy, just looking out on the horizon, like I mentioned before, having something to look forward to\u2014\u201cWe're going to Maui.\u00a0 We're going to celebrate.\u00a0 We're going to have a wonderful vacation\u201d\u2014I can make it through this time.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes, you feel like that just in the day-to-day life of changing diapers and wiping noses and fixing meals and all\u2014it's just having something to look forward to.\u00a0 That was certainly the ultimate of our getaway destinations.\u00a0 They were not all like that, but\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn't stay in a popup camper in Maui, did you?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(Laughter)<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, we didn't.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just making sure.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 As I look back on those times when Barbara and I got away\u2014yes, there was the benefit of romance in our schedule and the pace of life and all that, but I think the getaway not only kept our marriage vibrant; but it enabled Barbara and me to stay on the same song sheet as we were raising our kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, it's so easy to drift apart as a couple in your relationship, but it's real easy to drift apart in raising kids.\u00a0 We both have different context and backgrounds from which we come, and we're parenting out of those backgrounds.\u00a0 Like you were saying, Carolyn, we've got a perspective where we think we're right, and our spouse isn't necessarily agreeing with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFor Barbara and me, those weekends enabled us to work through a lot of the static; hear one another; I think, adjust to one another; and ultimately, come to an agreement around plan and how we're going to relate to our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Over 35 years of marriage, you guys have invested a lot of time, a fair amount of money, some energy\u2014you have taken the time to make this investment in your marriage.\u00a0 I'm sure there are folks who think, \u201cThat's good for them.\u00a0 I'm not sure we need it.\u201d\u00a0 It's kind of like the people who say you should change the oil every 3,000 miles, and you think, \u201cCan I really go five?\u00a0 What happens if I go ten?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy question is where do you think your marriage would be\u2014how do you think things would be different if you hadn't made this a discipline in your relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 I don't think I'd have near as clear an understanding of my wife and our family as I have as a result of taking it.\u00a0 I don't think that we would have been on the same page.\u00a0 I think we would have found ourselves colliding in the midst of a busy kind of a rat-race world, having to make final decisions on the fly; and probably, would have resulted in some conflict and greater disharmony.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, for us, the great discovery was just how proactive this put us as a team in managing our home and our relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Carolyn, what do you imagine life would have been like if this hadn't been a part of things?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we would have been going on separate tracks and having our own agendas that we felt like were right.\u00a0 So, we were pretty self-sufficient, and it would have been a lot of tension and more conflict.\u00a0 The benefit of having these getaways is really, like Bill said, intentional parenting, intentional in our marriage relationship.\u00a0 It's making sure that good intentions get done, and then, you get satisfied and grateful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I can imagine, Dennis, that a lot of couples who arrive at that new stage of life that's the empty-nest stage\u2014if they've not being doing the maintenance, they do arrive there; and they're at two different places.\u00a0 Whereas the couples who have made this discipline of getting away regularly a priority in their marriage, they get over that hump of the empty nest a little easier because they've been teaming up all the way along.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can drift apart in six months; but if you have a little wheel alignment of a getaway, where you kind of bring the schedule and the relationship back into alignment and instead of being on two separate tracks, as Carolyn was talking about, that will keep that situation that you described from happening.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I had a\u2014well, it was more than a weekend getaway\u2014we had more than just three days to get away when we became empty-nesters.\u00a0 We used that as a time to get away to talk about how we wanted the rest of our lives to look like as empty-nesters.\u00a0 We moved from the empty nest to what we call \u201cprime time.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, before we're finished today, there is one last question, which is one of those reality questions that I want to ask Bill and Carolyn.\u00a0 I know they experienced this, but I want you to share with our listeners how they can get a copy of Bill and Carolyn's book.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I'll do that, and I\u2019ll try and make it quick because I know you've got to get out of here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 My bags are packed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We do have copies of the book in our FamilyLife Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com to request a copy.\u00a0 Of course, this week if you make a yearend donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we\u2019ll send you a copy of Bill and Carolyn\u2019s book at no cost.\u00a0 It\u2019s our thank you gift to you for your support.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, you donation this week is being matched dollar for dollar up to that total of what is now more than $4 million in our matching gift fund\u2014largest matching gift we\u2019ve ever had access to.\u00a0 So, we\u2019re asking all of you to do whatever you can do to help us take full advantage of that matching gift.\u00a0 We have to hear from you this week for that to happen.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI CARE\u201d\u2014not only will your donation be matched dollar for dollar, but we\u2019ll send you a copy of Bill and Carolyn\u2019s planning guide, <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em>\u2014or call 1-800-FL-TODAY, make a donation over the phone, and just ask about the planning guide when you call; so, we know that you\u2019d like to receive a copy of it and we\u2019ll be happy to send it to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain the toll-free number, 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then, the word \u201cTODAY\u201d; or make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Dennis\u2026.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Bill and Carolyn Wellons have been our guests on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, and we've been talking about <em>Getting Away to Get It Together<\/em> how couples can have purposeful planning weekends.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBill and Carolyn, I've got one last question for you here.\u00a0 When Barbara and I did this three days we were talking in whole sentences without being interrupted.\u00a0 There was no noise around our meals.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 You kind of remember why you married each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely\u2014why we were attracted to each other in the first place.\u00a0 We're driving home, and then, there's that moment called \"reentry.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Reentry.\u00a0 I'm going to tell you something: I need to hear your best tips for couples with families\u2014when you step off the oasis and step back on the mainland.\u00a0 I mean, usually you walk back into illness, diapers, griping, complaining, blaming\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Reality.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Babysitters are tied up in a corner.\u00a0 It's like we'll never do this again.\u00a0 What's your best tip for reentry?\u00a0 I want both of you to make a pass at this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bill:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I totally identify with your explanation of reentry.\u00a0 In the same way, I could feel the chains sort of dropping off as I drove out of town on the front end.\u00a0 I felt like the ball and chain was being reattached as I came back into the city.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe best tip for me, Dennis\u2014there's really two aspects to it.\u00a0 One just has to do with anticipation and real expectations.\u00a0 What you have been on has just been\u2014you've jumped off the world's treadmill.\u00a0 You stepped off of it.\u00a0 The treadmill was still running, but you stepped off of it to go away for a few days together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, yes, peace came back.\u00a0 You began to talk in complete sentences, you felt rested, and all that; but you're exactly right.\u00a0 You're going to come back in, and that treadmill is moving faster than you're walking\u2014and just having a healthy expectation about that, praying about that, realizing that the warfare a couple has in this world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe enemy does not want us to be unified, does not want us to be clear, does not want us to be relational, on the same page, and all that.\u00a0 To be aware of that and praying and anticipating that, I think that's the best that you can do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Carolyn?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I agree.\u00a0 We would look at each other and laugh in the car when we were driving back into town and say, \u201cAre you ready?\u00a0 Are you ready?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOkay, we're ready.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is something about that partnership\u2014knowing that you and your husband or you and your wife are on the same page, that you've connected, that you're partnering together, and then, keeping a sense of humor.\u00a0 I mean, it's just comical.\u00a0 If you step back and look at it\u2014about all the demands that the children are typically going to be more demanding, more challenging at the time.\u00a0 So, if you can just glance over in the chaos there and kind of smile at each other and say, \"Here we are.\u00a0 Here we go.\"\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You didn't ask me, but my tip is to arrive back home after the kids are in bed so that you can go right to sleep\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very good.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and when you wake up the next morning you go, \u201cWas it all a dream or did we really have that time away?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 My best tip is as you walk back in the house: Expect a test.\u00a0 You've gotten away to get together.\u00a0 You are one.\u00a0 You\u2019re lockstep.\u00a0 You're headed in the same direction, and, all of a sudden, these little critters come up.\u00a0 They immediately start to try to divide you.\u00a0 Expect a test but be resolute and develop some kind of non-verbal signal, whether it be a wink or a hug or a smile with your spouse that lets them know, \u201cHey, sweetheart, here is the test.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Carolyn:<\/strong>\u00a0 We're in this together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>We're in it, and we\u2019re in this together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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