{"id":302420,"date":"2011-12-09T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-12-09T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/dont-forget-the-kids\/"},"modified":"2011-12-09T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-12-09T17:00:00","slug":"dont-forget-the-kids","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dont-forget-the-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Don\u2019t Forget the Kids!"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Are you giving your children the attention they need?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-12-09.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"22.76M","filesize_raw":"23862974","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2901],"tags":[4284,4868,4698],"podcast_series":[7844],"cwp_profile":[8905],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302420","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-husbands","tag-father","tag-husband","tag-manhood","podcast_series-oops-i-forgot-my-wife-and-kids","cwp_profile-doyle-roth","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302420\/dont-forget-the-kids","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302420\/dont-forget-the-kids","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"sTE9Si0HQN\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dont-forget-the-kids\/\">Don\u2019t Forget the Kids!<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/dont-forget-the-kids\/embed\/#?secret=sTE9Si0HQN\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Don\u2019t Forget the Kids!&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"sTE9Si0HQN\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-12-09.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-12-09.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When it comes to raising our children, moms and dads need a little help.\u00a0 I mean, let\u2019s be honest.\u00a0 Author, Doyle Roth, says that men in particular\u2014we need other guys to help us grow as we try to raise our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 When I was a young guy, just raising kids, I got involved in a study with men.\u00a0 It was not just a fluffy study.\u00a0 This was a serious study between dads.\u00a0 This went on every Wednesday morning at six o\u2019clock for close to 10 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were together every Wednesday; and if you got out of line\u2014these other men\u2014they\u2019d check in the next week, \u201cHow are you doing with your attitude?\u00a0 Are you doing better?\u201d\u00a0 I think it is a great growing opportunity for men to be involved with other men.\u00a0 That is essential.\u00a0 We all got, basically, the same problems.\u00a0 We just need to come together and really commit to follow the Bible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 9th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Doyle Roth joins us today to help us see how following the Bible applies when it comes to dads being involved in helping to raise their children.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know what my favorite movie is; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you talking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, come on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014about <em>It\u2019s A Wonderful Life<\/em>?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>It\u2019s A Wonderful Life<\/em>, yes, my favorite movie of all time.\u00a0 I\u2019ve watched it more than any other movie.\u00a0 We watch it every year at Christmas.\u00a0 I just love the film.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a scene in the movie where Jimmy Stewart\u2019s had a bad day.\u00a0 The money is gone.\u00a0 He\u2019s not sure where it is, and things are just not going well.\u00a0 He\u2019s tense, and he\u2019s on edge.\u00a0 He\u2019s at the house, and everything is wrong.\u00a0 The furniture is not the way it\u2019s supposed to be, and Susie is playing the same song over and over again on the piano.\u00a0 His son is following him around and trying to bug him.\u00a0 There\u2019s just a point where he says to Donna Reed\u2014Jimmy Stewart turns to her and says, \u201cWhy do we have to have all these kids anyway?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI laugh about that because Mary Ann and I have looked at each other on more than one occasion and said, \u201cWhy did we have to have all these kids anyway?\u201d\u00a0 There are just moments.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are moments of raising a family today, because the pace of life and who we are as human beings, where we do feel that way.\u00a0 I think our guest on today\u2019s broadcast, who has written two books\u2014first of all, <em>Oops!<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>I Forgot My Wife,<\/em> and a sequel that is <em>Oops!<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>We Forgot the Kids.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to say, in case my kids are listening, \u201cWe are glad we had you, and we wouldn\u2019t trade any of you in\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course!\u00a0 Of course!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but there have been days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019re now having their families.\u00a0 They understand.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They understand.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Doyle, I\u2019d like to welcome you to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you so much, Dennis.\u00a0 Glad to be with you and Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Doyle is a businessman who has a heart for marriages and families.\u00a0 He is a counselor.\u00a0 He and his wife Nancy have been married for more than four decades\u2014have four adult children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI guess\u2014you know, I understand how your first book, <em>Oops! I Forgot My Wife<\/em>, came about\u2014out of the drama of you really spending the first half a dozen years of your marriage, really ignoring her\u2014kind of living in your own world, being selfish.\u00a0 These are words you used about yourself, by the way, not me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to know what\u2019s the genesis of this book, <em>Oops!<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>We Forgot the Kids<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it comes out of a more healthy marriage, obviously.\u00a0 It comes out of the fact that we now have children, and we wanted to do the best job we could in parenting.\u00a0 We were on that learning curve.\u00a0 That became a part of our spiritual journey, as well; but I sort of intersected with a new part of my being.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy marriage was getting better; but I could see, reflected in my parenting, the same issue\u2014the issue of self-centeredness.\u00a0 I was taking care of things around the family: providing a living, doing those things, but not very tolerant of the children, not using good healthy parenting methods.\u00a0 Our parenting needed some help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If I were to go back and observe the first five or ten years of your parenting, what kind of parent were you?\u00a0 What was your \u201cmotis operendi\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was probably angry.\u00a0 I was probably loud.\u00a0 I was probably impatient.\u00a0 Those things would, I think, be typical in the early years of our parenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What were you angry at?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, just the kids would get on my nerves.\u00a0 They wouldn\u2019t obey.\u00a0 I mean, we had two kids at that time.\u00a0 It was just tough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you a high-control person?\u00a0 I mean, you talked about in your marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014how you were\u2014you\u2019d kind of withdrawn and kind of had everything under your own control, thinking about yourself.\u00a0 I would see how children would kind of invade your space at that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it was so much control as I didn\u2019t want to take the time.\u00a0 Parenting takes a lot of time.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to invest that because I was\u2014again, involved in business, and those were the things that had to change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The subtitle of your book\u2014in the marriage book, it\u2019s <em>What Happens When Marriage and Self-Centeredness Collide<\/em>; in parenting, it\u2019s <em>What Happens When Parenting and Self-Centeredness Collide<\/em>.\u00a0 That\u2019s really at the core of the issues we deal with in relationships:\u00a0 Whether we are going to be self-focused, or whether we are going to love others; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 I think one of the key things in parenting is to understand that you do not look on your own needs, but you look on others.\u00a0 In this sense, the Philippians\u2019 passage would tell me\u2014in this sense, it\u2019s the needs of my kids\u2014and that I need to apply that biblical principle to my parenting, which involves sacrifice; it involves strategy, planning, effort\u2014all of those things to make better\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s exhausting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014investment\u2014and it\u2019s exhausting.\u00a0 It\u2019s exhausting.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just want to give up sometimes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve been there; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to die to self.\u00a0 You spoke earlier how there was, well, really a time when you really had to come to Jesus; and you had to confess your self-centeredness and your own hard-headedness with God, then to your wife.\u00a0 Was there a similar moment, as you parented, where you kind of had to come to grips with the same self-centeredness that was really pulling you away from your parental responsibilities?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, there is no question about that.\u00a0 I think you have to confront the self-centeredness if you\u2019re going to be a good parent.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t a precise time in my life when that happened, but I knew that my anger\u2014I knew that my impatience and things like that had to be dealt with before the Lord spiritually.\u00a0 That radically changed my investment in my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Walk us through\u2014can you just help somebody see what that looked like in your life because I\u2019m thinking of listeners who are going, \u201cI have had that anger, that impatience.\u00a0 I feel that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what to do with mine.\u201d\u00a0 How did you handle yours?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 What really helped me was giving my family license to help me be a better dad.\u00a0 I told my wife and my children that raising my voice was unacceptable.\u00a0 These kinds of behaviors were unacceptable; and I wanted them to hold me accountable so that I would not raise my voice, and I would not express myself that way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat became an integral part of my parenting because, all through the teen years and all, I think my family would say, Dennis\u2014I think Nancy would say, if she were sitting here, \u201cThat that changed Doyle\u2019s life\u201d because I submitted myself to not raising my voice, managing my patience, not getting angry\u2014those things didn\u2019t work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you submitted yourself to those things, but you also submitted yourself to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re right.\u00a0 Absolutely; and let them be the ones that said, \u201cDaddy, you\u2019re raising your voice.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And gave them access to your life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was talking at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways with one of our other couples who speak.\u00a0 During the conference, we always\u2014at the conference\u2014Bob, you know this\u2014we\u2019re always trying to share out of our own lives the things we do right, some things we don\u2019t do so right, and some things that we really do wrong.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis speaker\u2019s name was Bill\u2014was talking about how early in their marriage\u2014he came to grips with the fact that he had a problem with his temper.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was taking it out on his wife and that he didn\u2019t like it.\u00a0 Finally, one day driving down the road with her in the passenger seat, he got ticked off and slammed his fist against the windshield.\u00a0 Well, he must have done it with some degree of energy because the entire windshield completely\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, my goodness!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014broke\u2014front windshield, driving down the road.\u00a0 They pulled off to the side of the road, and he again admitted with his wife that he had a problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He said, \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what I\u2019m going to do.\u00a0 I want you to have permission to call Dennis Rainey,\u201d and he knocked off a couple of other guys that were good friends of his that she knew as well.\u00a0 He said, \u201cIf I ever lose my temper like that again, I want you to call them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Praise God!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ve never received a call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You never got a call from her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I never got a call from that wife.\u00a0 Now, at that point, what that husband is expressing\u2014he is expressing that he really is sorry about what he\u2019s doing and that he\u2019s willing be humiliated by a phone call if he does it again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was on the back row at the conference when the husband was telling this story at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, and I looked over at his wife.\u00a0 She looked at me; and she said, \u201cWell, there\u2019s been a couple of times when it was close.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWhen it was close.\u201d\u00a0 The point is when you give somebody access to your life, and you say, \u201cLook,\u201d like you did, Doyle.\u00a0 You say to your children, \u201cI don\u2019t want to behave this way.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re demonstrating humility; teach-ability; and, really, godliness\u2014that, I would imagine, if we could call your kids right now on the phone\u2014that probably had a big impact in their lives.\u00a0 Have they ever said anything about that to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about that because it affected their parenting.\u00a0 They parent in a very quiet, reasonable way.\u00a0 I think that was the modeling that was necessary for them to learn that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it comes back, for me\u2014that my kids would see the inconsistency in my Christian life because that is not what God tells us to do.\u00a0 I think our kids are smarter than that, and they can see right through that.\u00a0 I think asking them to help me was also letting them know that I\u2019m willing to change.\u00a0 When we parent, you need to be willing to change as well\u2014that we\u2019re all on the change curve.\u00a0 They just learn that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you said to your children, \u201cIf I raise my voice, I want you to tell me.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got permission to do that.\u201d\u00a0 I can imagine the next time you started to get angry, and your voice started to go up, and somebody said, \u201cDaddy, you\u2019re raising your voice\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014I can imagine that making you even a little angrier.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In the moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, not for me in that sense, Bob, because I was so committed to dealing with this that I appreciated that.\u00a0 I would automatically lower my voice, without questioning what their perspective was.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your commitment to dealing with this was fundamental because, as you said, there was an inconsistency between what you were professing about your love for Christ\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and what you were doing at home.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s not to be missed because some people say, \u201cWell, I want to do this because it\u2019ll make for a happier home.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019re only committed to it if it\u2019s making for a happier home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If they\u2019re not committed to it with a spiritual foundation, with a \u201cI want to do this because this is what God\u2019s called me to, and I want to be right before Him,\u201d that\u2019s just spackling on the walls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No question about that.\u00a0 I think that trickles into a lot of areas of our behavior with our kids but also our mission.\u00a0 Our mission is to go into all the world; right?\u00a0 So many church families are not involved in any mission.\u00a0 They go to church, but that\u2019s it.\u00a0 I think kids see through that.\u00a0 I think they see the reality and the integrity of our Christian lives; they look right through that and see that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of things you talk about in the book is the importance of mentors for parents today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t agree any more.\u00a0 I was recently speaking in St. Augustine, Florida, at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\u00a0 After the dad talk, which is on Sunday morning at the conference where we have the men and the women separate from one another\u2014we talk to the guys straight about being a husband and about being a father.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter it was over, I had three young men, all in their late twenties, early thirties, who stood in line to say, \u201cDennis, I hear what you\u2019re saying about being a father.\u00a0 I see the example that you\u2019re getting from Scripture; but I want you to know when I was a boy, and I was a child, my dad deserted our family.\u00a0 I never saw a father.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a father.\u00a0 The screen is blank.\u00a0 How do I go about addressing that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn all three of those situations\u2014they were all separate, almost lined up, one after another, these young men.\u00a0 I looked them each in the eye; and I said, \u201cI want you to think about being a mentor and finding a mentor.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because, if you\u2019re going to be the dad, the husband, and the man God created you to be, you need to be engaged in both being mentored and in mentoring another person.\u00a0 Comment on the importance you see today in young couples who are starting out their families, just their need to have another couple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014alongside them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our book\u2014the<em> Oops! We Forgot the<\/em> Kids book\u2014really tries to address that by using other couples in the story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of the recovery for A. J. and Ginny, which are\u2014they are one of the problem couples\u2014is that they get involved in a small Bible study that helps grow them, and Jerry and Sue are involved\u00a0 and there are other people involved.\u00a0 That\u2019s very important.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When I was a young guy, just raising kids, I got involved in a study with men.\u00a0 It was not just a fluffy study.\u00a0 This was a serious study between dads.\u00a0 This went on every Wednesday morning at six o\u2019clock for, I bet you, close to 10 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were together every Wednesday.\u00a0 If you got out of line and you talked about your parenting as not being successful or you\u2019re angry, these other men would hold you accountable.\u00a0 So, I think it\u2019s a great growing opportunity for men to be involved with other men, couples to be involved with other couples.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s essential.\u00a0 We\u2019ve all got, basically, the same problems.\u00a0 We just need to come together, and really commit to following the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How would those guys hold you accountable?\u00a0 They\u2019d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019d check in the next week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And just say, \u201cSo, what\u2019d you do?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019re you doing with your attitude?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cAre you doing better?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Any of them ever called Nancy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nancy was in a different Bible study (Laughter)\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She had her own group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but our couples\u2019 study was the same.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Her name was in the phonebook.\u00a0 Those guys could have called her and said, \u201cHow\u2019s he doing?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cIs Doyle blowing smoke?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019d be scary.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, one of the things that we found as we raised our kids is\u2014in those times when we felt like we were just failing\u2014like, you\u2019d leave the house; and it\u2019d be one of those nights where you\u2019d go, \u201cThe kids are going to be in jail by the end of the month.\u201d\u00a0 It just wasn\u2019t going well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get together with other parents.\u00a0 You\u2019d talk about some of the issues you\u2019re going through; and you\u2019d find out, \u201cOkay, other families are dealing with some of these issues as well.\u201d\u00a0 Some of the hopelessness you were feeling as a parent started to at least get some space when you heard from other parents saying, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We\u2019ve been through that.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYour kids turned out okay; right?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 One of the most important things is the sovereignty of God in parenting.\u00a0 I see so many parents that are so afraid that they build such high fences.\u00a0 They try to control everything.\u00a0 You hear of helicopter parents today that don\u2019t let their kids do anything.\u00a0 Those are big issues today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I teach on parenting, one of my favorite subjects is that God is sovereign.\u00a0 He\u2019s got to touch the lives of our kids.\u00a0 We can\u2019t do it as parents.\u00a0 We can try to be faithful in our parenting; but eventually, it is God that does this.\u00a0 \u201cUnless the Lord builds the house,\u201d we\u2019re laboring in vain.\u00a0 God has got to be the One that touches our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, if you were sitting down with parents, first-time parents\u2014they\u2019ve got\u2014the baby\u2019s been home six months.\u00a0 They go, \u201cWe want to be the best parents we can be.\u201d\u00a0 Just give me your best counsel that you\u2019d pass along to them for what\u2019s ahead of them on the journey over the next 18 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, number one: You\u2019ve got to know your child because not all kids fit in the same discipline program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 You could discipline one child one way\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and the next one\u2014it is not going to work for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 Number two: You better have a relationship with your child that\u2019s healthy, or that child will not pay any attention to your teaching.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to trust God.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to believe that God is bigger than you are.\u00a0 These are God\u2019s kids.\u00a0 You need to assume the responsibility.\u00a0 You\u2019re really the steward taking care of His kids.\u00a0 You try to do it well; but ultimately, the results are in His hands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tConsistency\u2014you\u2019ve got to be consistent.\u00a0 You have to work at being there, doing it every day.\u00a0 I often compare to horses\u2014or stuff like that\u2014that I\u2019m familiar with on the ranch.\u00a0 You don\u2019t break a horse to lead by going down there every week.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to go down there every day\u2014maybe twice a day, three times a day.\u00a0 You have to go revisit; take them through the loops.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSame thing with kids\u2014you need to be consistent in what you do.\u00a0 You need to follow through when you say things.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be a model that kids can see that your Christian life is working for you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How do you want your children to remember you?\u00a0 What do you hope at the end of your life\u2014maybe they\u2019re gathering around your bed to honor you as their father\u2014what do you hope they\u2019ll compliment you on?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That I followed the Bible.\u00a0 I\u2019m a Christ follower, and I tried to carry that over into my family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know that\u2019s a great North Star for any man or any woman who might be listening to us today.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been spending some time with Chuck Swindoll recently\u2014not personally, mind you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but in a book that he wrote.\u00a0 Chuck gave me a book; and it\u2019s a commentary on the book of Timothy, 1st and 2nd Timothy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s just been interesting to spend time with Chuck, kind of mentoring me through a good book of coaching me as he gives observations from the life of Paul, who mentored Timothy in life\u2019s most important commitments.\u00a0 He was coaching Timothy in his ministry, in his relationships, in his own life and heart, and spiritual growth with God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think all of us, as men\u2014all the women listeners to this broadcast really should take a step back and ask the question, \u201cWho has access to your life?\u00a0 Who\u2019s mentoring you?\u00a0 Who\u2019s speaking into your life?\u201d\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s through a good book\u2014there\u2019s nothing wrong with that.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t want that to take the place of real relationships; but, \u201cWho\u2019s helping you in these important commitments?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you were talking, I was thinking about Bob and Mary Ann.\u00a0 They were raising their kids as we were raising ours; and he still is raising his kids, by the way.\u00a0 We\u2019re done, but I learned all kinds of things from Bob.\u00a0 I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014there is a principle of iron sharpening iron\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in our lives.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t have those relationships\u2014if we don\u2019t have great books, great resources, that we\u2019re drinking deeply from in our lives, feeding our souls, we can shrivel up and really become self-absorbed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wrote <em>Oops! We Forgot the Kids<\/em> to be one of those mentoring tools.\u00a0 In fact, you\u2019ve got a group of characters in the book; and we\u2019re reading their e-mails back and forth to one another and their text messages in the middle of their parenting.\u00a0 It just drops people down into the middle of what\u2019s going on with some real life parents.\u00a0 I say real life\u2014even though, fictional\u2014because the stories are real life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is designed to help parents go, \u201cOkay, other people are dealing with the same stuff we are; and there\u2019s hope.\u00a0 There\u2019re answers.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 There is a lot of hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Doyle, I just appreciate you; and I\u2019m glad\u2014going all the way back to that sixth year, seventh year of marriage when you had to come to grips with your own selfishness\u2014that you did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Praise God!\u00a0 I am, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you\u2019re still dealing with a little of it now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 I still do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 I still do.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yet, that model is a great model for our listeners because I think you could basically say every issue you\u2019re facing goes back to, \u201cAre you going to be serving self\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cor yielding to Jesus Christ and allowing Him to live His life in and through you?\u201d\u00a0 I appreciate you, appreciate your books, and hope you\u2019ll join us again sometime on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you so much for having me, Dennis; Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I really\u2014I hope that folks, who have heard your story, will get copies of your books because I think they\u2019ll find them, first of all, fun to read but also pregnant with a lot of truth.\u00a0 It may be something that they want to pass on to somebody else after they\u2019ve read through it themselves.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got both of Doyle\u2019s books in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the books, <em>Oops! I Forgot My Wife<\/em> and <em>Oops!<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>We Forgot the Kids<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 If you have any questions about the books; or if you want to order them by phone, call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and, then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have had some exciting news here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019ve been sharing it with you already this week.\u00a0 We had some friends of the ministry who came to us not long ago; and they said, \u201cWe know that December is a critical month of the year for ministries like yours who have to raise funds in order to continue doing what you do.\u201d\u00a0 A lot of people will make year-end donations and, depending on what happens at yearend, you can kind of determine what the coming year is going to look like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese folks said, \u201cWe would like to make a matching-gift challenge.\u00a0 We would like to make available to you funds that we will release when those funds are matched by your donors.\u201d\u00a0 So, when you make a donation of $50, we can go get $50 from the matching-gift fund.\u00a0 They have agreed to that, up to a total of $2.5 million.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSince that time, we\u2019ve had some other folks come along; and they have said, \u201cWe might want to add to that total.\u201d\u00a0 So, actually, our matching-gift fund could be growing here in the next few days.\u00a0 We just haven\u2019t heard back from these folks, yet; but we\u2019re asking you, \u201cCan you consider making a year-end donation to help support this ministry and help us be in the best possible position we can be in as we move into 2012?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and make an online donation; or call toll-free 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and, then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone; and when you do, that donation is going to be matched on a dollar for dollar basis up to a total of, right now, $2.5 million.\u00a0 So, we do hope to hear from you.\u00a0 We need to hear from as many of you as possible if we are going to take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity.\u00a0\u00a0 We just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance for whatever you are able to do in support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for today.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us.\u00a0 Hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 Hope you can join us back on Monday when Michael and Gina Spehn are going to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael and Gina both lost their spouse within a month of each other.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear the story of how God walked them through those dark valleys; and then, how God brought them together to blend a new family.\u00a0 That\u2019s coming up Monday.\u00a0 I hope you can be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["22.76M"],"filesize_raw":["23862974"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302420.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302420.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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you giving your children the attention they need?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-12-09.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When it comes to raising our children, moms and dads need a little help.\u00a0 I mean, let\u2019s be honest.\u00a0 Author, Doyle Roth, says that men in particular\u2014we need other guys to help us grow as we try to raise our children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 When I was a young guy, just raising kids, I got involved in a study with men.\u00a0 It was not just a fluffy study.\u00a0 This was a serious study between dads.\u00a0 This went on every Wednesday morning at six o\u2019clock for close to 10 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were together every Wednesday; and if you got out of line\u2014these other men\u2014they\u2019d check in the next week, \u201cHow are you doing with your attitude?\u00a0 Are you doing better?\u201d\u00a0 I think it is a great growing opportunity for men to be involved with other men.\u00a0 That is essential.\u00a0 We all got, basically, the same problems.\u00a0 We just need to come together and really commit to follow the Bible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Friday, December 9th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Doyle Roth joins us today to help us see how following the Bible applies when it comes to dads being involved in helping to raise their children.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 You know what my favorite movie is; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you talking\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, come on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014about <em>It\u2019s A Wonderful Life<\/em>?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 <em>It\u2019s A Wonderful Life<\/em>, yes, my favorite movie of all time.\u00a0 I\u2019ve watched it more than any other movie.\u00a0 We watch it every year at Christmas.\u00a0 I just love the film.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s a scene in the movie where Jimmy Stewart\u2019s had a bad day.\u00a0 The money is gone.\u00a0 He\u2019s not sure where it is, and things are just not going well.\u00a0 He\u2019s tense, and he\u2019s on edge.\u00a0 He\u2019s at the house, and everything is wrong.\u00a0 The furniture is not the way it\u2019s supposed to be, and Susie is playing the same song over and over again on the piano.\u00a0 His son is following him around and trying to bug him.\u00a0 There\u2019s just a point where he says to Donna Reed\u2014Jimmy Stewart turns to her and says, \u201cWhy do we have to have all these kids anyway?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI laugh about that because Mary Ann and I have looked at each other on more than one occasion and said, \u201cWhy did we have to have all these kids anyway?\u201d\u00a0 There are just moments.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are moments of raising a family today, because the pace of life and who we are as human beings, where we do feel that way.\u00a0 I think our guest on today\u2019s broadcast, who has written two books\u2014first of all, <em>Oops!<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>I Forgot My Wife,<\/em> and a sequel that is <em>Oops!<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>We Forgot the Kids.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to say, in case my kids are listening, \u201cWe are glad we had you, and we wouldn\u2019t trade any of you in\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course!\u00a0 Of course!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but there have been days.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019re now having their families.\u00a0 They understand.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 They understand.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Doyle, I\u2019d like to welcome you to the broadcast.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you so much, Dennis.\u00a0 Glad to be with you and Bob.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Doyle is a businessman who has a heart for marriages and families.\u00a0 He is a counselor.\u00a0 He and his wife Nancy have been married for more than four decades\u2014have four adult children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI guess\u2014you know, I understand how your first book, <em>Oops! I Forgot My Wife<\/em>, came about\u2014out of the drama of you really spending the first half a dozen years of your marriage, really ignoring her\u2014kind of living in your own world, being selfish.\u00a0 These are words you used about yourself, by the way, not me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to know what\u2019s the genesis of this book, <em>Oops!<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>We Forgot the Kids<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it comes out of a more healthy marriage, obviously.\u00a0 It comes out of the fact that we now have children, and we wanted to do the best job we could in parenting.\u00a0 We were on that learning curve.\u00a0 That became a part of our spiritual journey, as well; but I sort of intersected with a new part of my being.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy marriage was getting better; but I could see, reflected in my parenting, the same issue\u2014the issue of self-centeredness.\u00a0 I was taking care of things around the family: providing a living, doing those things, but not very tolerant of the children, not using good healthy parenting methods.\u00a0 Our parenting needed some help.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If I were to go back and observe the first five or ten years of your parenting, what kind of parent were you?\u00a0 What was your \u201cmotis operendi\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was probably angry.\u00a0 I was probably loud.\u00a0 I was probably impatient.\u00a0 Those things would, I think, be typical in the early years of our parenting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What were you angry at?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, just the kids would get on my nerves.\u00a0 They wouldn\u2019t obey.\u00a0 I mean, we had two kids at that time.\u00a0 It was just tough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Are you a high-control person?\u00a0 I mean, you talked about in your marriage\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014how you were\u2014you\u2019d kind of withdrawn and kind of had everything under your own control, thinking about yourself.\u00a0 I would see how children would kind of invade your space at that point.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think it was so much control as I didn\u2019t want to take the time.\u00a0 Parenting takes a lot of time.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to invest that because I was\u2014again, involved in business, and those were the things that had to change.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The subtitle of your book\u2014in the marriage book, it\u2019s <em>What Happens When Marriage and Self-Centeredness Collide<\/em>; in parenting, it\u2019s <em>What Happens When Parenting and Self-Centeredness Collide<\/em>.\u00a0 That\u2019s really at the core of the issues we deal with in relationships:\u00a0 Whether we are going to be self-focused, or whether we are going to love others; right?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 I think one of the key things in parenting is to understand that you do not look on your own needs, but you look on others.\u00a0 In this sense, the Philippians\u2019 passage would tell me\u2014in this sense, it\u2019s the needs of my kids\u2014and that I need to apply that biblical principle to my parenting, which involves sacrifice; it involves strategy, planning, effort\u2014all of those things to make better\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s exhausting.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014investment\u2014and it\u2019s exhausting.\u00a0 It\u2019s exhausting.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You just want to give up sometimes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve been there; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You don\u2019t want to die to self.\u00a0 You spoke earlier how there was, well, really a time when you really had to come to Jesus; and you had to confess your self-centeredness and your own hard-headedness with God, then to your wife.\u00a0 Was there a similar moment, as you parented, where you kind of had to come to grips with the same self-centeredness that was really pulling you away from your parental responsibilities?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, there is no question about that.\u00a0 I think you have to confront the self-centeredness if you\u2019re going to be a good parent.\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t a precise time in my life when that happened, but I knew that my anger\u2014I knew that my impatience and things like that had to be dealt with before the Lord spiritually.\u00a0 That radically changed my investment in my kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Walk us through\u2014can you just help somebody see what that looked like in your life because I\u2019m thinking of listeners who are going, \u201cI have had that anger, that impatience.\u00a0 I feel that.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what to do with mine.\u201d\u00a0 How did you handle yours?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 What really helped me was giving my family license to help me be a better dad.\u00a0 I told my wife and my children that raising my voice was unacceptable.\u00a0 These kinds of behaviors were unacceptable; and I wanted them to hold me accountable so that I would not raise my voice, and I would not express myself that way.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat became an integral part of my parenting because, all through the teen years and all, I think my family would say, Dennis\u2014I think Nancy would say, if she were sitting here, \u201cThat that changed Doyle\u2019s life\u201d because I submitted myself to not raising my voice, managing my patience, not getting angry\u2014those things didn\u2019t work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you submitted yourself to those things, but you also submitted yourself to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re right.\u00a0 Absolutely; and let them be the ones that said, \u201cDaddy, you\u2019re raising your voice.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And gave them access to your life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I was talking at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways with one of our other couples who speak.\u00a0 During the conference, we always\u2014at the conference\u2014Bob, you know this\u2014we\u2019re always trying to share out of our own lives the things we do right, some things we don\u2019t do so right, and some things that we really do wrong.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis speaker\u2019s name was Bill\u2014was talking about how early in their marriage\u2014he came to grips with the fact that he had a problem with his temper.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was taking it out on his wife and that he didn\u2019t like it.\u00a0 Finally, one day driving down the road with her in the passenger seat, he got ticked off and slammed his fist against the windshield.\u00a0 Well, he must have done it with some degree of energy because the entire windshield completely\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, my goodness!\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014broke\u2014front windshield, driving down the road.\u00a0 They pulled off to the side of the road, and he again admitted with his wife that he had a problem.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He said, \u201cI\u2019ll tell you what I\u2019m going to do.\u00a0 I want you to have permission to call Dennis Rainey,\u201d and he knocked off a couple of other guys that were good friends of his that she knew as well.\u00a0 He said, \u201cIf I ever lose my temper like that again, I want you to call them.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Praise God!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I\u2019ve never received a call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You never got a call from her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I never got a call from that wife.\u00a0 Now, at that point, what that husband is expressing\u2014he is expressing that he really is sorry about what he\u2019s doing and that he\u2019s willing be humiliated by a phone call if he does it again.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was on the back row at the conference when the husband was telling this story at the <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaway, and I looked over at his wife.\u00a0 She looked at me; and she said, \u201cWell, there\u2019s been a couple of times when it was close.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWhen it was close.\u201d\u00a0 The point is when you give somebody access to your life, and you say, \u201cLook,\u201d like you did, Doyle.\u00a0 You say to your children, \u201cI don\u2019t want to behave this way.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re demonstrating humility; teach-ability; and, really, godliness\u2014that, I would imagine, if we could call your kids right now on the phone\u2014that probably had a big impact in their lives.\u00a0 Have they ever said anything about that to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve talked about that because it affected their parenting.\u00a0 They parent in a very quiet, reasonable way.\u00a0 I think that was the modeling that was necessary for them to learn that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, it comes back, for me\u2014that my kids would see the inconsistency in my Christian life because that is not what God tells us to do.\u00a0 I think our kids are smarter than that, and they can see right through that.\u00a0 I think asking them to help me was also letting them know that I\u2019m willing to change.\u00a0 When we parent, you need to be willing to change as well\u2014that we\u2019re all on the change curve.\u00a0 They just learn that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you said to your children, \u201cIf I raise my voice, I want you to tell me.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got permission to do that.\u201d\u00a0 I can imagine the next time you started to get angry, and your voice started to go up, and somebody said, \u201cDaddy, you\u2019re raising your voice\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014I can imagine that making you even a little angrier.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, no.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 In the moment.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, not for me in that sense, Bob, because I was so committed to dealing with this that I appreciated that.\u00a0 I would automatically lower my voice, without questioning what their perspective was.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your commitment to dealing with this was fundamental because, as you said, there was an inconsistency between what you were professing about your love for Christ\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and what you were doing at home.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s not to be missed because some people say, \u201cWell, I want to do this because it\u2019ll make for a happier home.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019re only committed to it if it\u2019s making for a happier home.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If they\u2019re not committed to it with a spiritual foundation, with a \u201cI want to do this because this is what God\u2019s called me to, and I want to be right before Him,\u201d that\u2019s just spackling on the walls.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No question about that.\u00a0 I think that trickles into a lot of areas of our behavior with our kids but also our mission.\u00a0 Our mission is to go into all the world; right?\u00a0 So many church families are not involved in any mission.\u00a0 They go to church, but that\u2019s it.\u00a0 I think kids see through that.\u00a0 I think they see the reality and the integrity of our Christian lives; they look right through that and see that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of things you talk about in the book is the importance of mentors for parents today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t agree any more.\u00a0 I was recently speaking in St. Augustine, Florida, at one of our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways.\u00a0 After the dad talk, which is on Sunday morning at the conference where we have the men and the women separate from one another\u2014we talk to the guys straight about being a husband and about being a father.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAfter it was over, I had three young men, all in their late twenties, early thirties, who stood in line to say, \u201cDennis, I hear what you\u2019re saying about being a father.\u00a0 I see the example that you\u2019re getting from Scripture; but I want you to know when I was a boy, and I was a child, my dad deserted our family.\u00a0 I never saw a father.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have a father.\u00a0 The screen is blank.\u00a0 How do I go about addressing that?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn all three of those situations\u2014they were all separate, almost lined up, one after another, these young men.\u00a0 I looked them each in the eye; and I said, \u201cI want you to think about being a mentor and finding a mentor.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because, if you\u2019re going to be the dad, the husband, and the man God created you to be, you need to be engaged in both being mentored and in mentoring another person.\u00a0 Comment on the importance you see today in young couples who are starting out their families, just their need to have another couple\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014alongside them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our book\u2014the<em> Oops! We Forgot the<\/em> Kids book\u2014really tries to address that by using other couples in the story.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPart of the recovery for A. J. and Ginny, which are\u2014they are one of the problem couples\u2014is that they get involved in a small Bible study that helps grow them, and Jerry and Sue are involved\u00a0 and there are other people involved.\u00a0 That\u2019s very important.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<br>When I was a young guy, just raising kids, I got involved in a study with men.\u00a0 It was not just a fluffy study.\u00a0 This was a serious study between dads.\u00a0 This went on every Wednesday morning at six o\u2019clock for, I bet you, close to 10 years.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were together every Wednesday.\u00a0 If you got out of line and you talked about your parenting as not being successful or you\u2019re angry, these other men would hold you accountable.\u00a0 So, I think it\u2019s a great growing opportunity for men to be involved with other men, couples to be involved with other couples.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 That\u2019s essential.\u00a0 We\u2019ve all got, basically, the same problems.\u00a0 We just need to come together, and really commit to following the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How would those guys hold you accountable?\u00a0 They\u2019d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 They\u2019d check in the next week.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And just say, \u201cSo, what\u2019d you do?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \u201cHow\u2019re you doing with your attitude?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cAre you doing better?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Any of them ever called Nancy?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Nancy was in a different Bible study (Laughter)\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 She had her own group.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but our couples\u2019 study was the same.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Her name was in the phonebook.\u00a0 Those guys could have called her and said, \u201cHow\u2019s he doing?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cIs Doyle blowing smoke?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, that\u2019d be scary.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, one of the things that we found as we raised our kids is\u2014in those times when we felt like we were just failing\u2014like, you\u2019d leave the house; and it\u2019d be one of those nights where you\u2019d go, \u201cThe kids are going to be in jail by the end of the month.\u201d\u00a0 It just wasn\u2019t going well.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou get together with other parents.\u00a0 You\u2019d talk about some of the issues you\u2019re going through; and you\u2019d find out, \u201cOkay, other families are dealing with some of these issues as well.\u201d\u00a0 Some of the hopelessness you were feeling as a parent started to at least get some space when you heard from other parents saying, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 We\u2019ve been through that.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cYour kids turned out okay; right?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, that\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 One of the most important things is the sovereignty of God in parenting.\u00a0 I see so many parents that are so afraid that they build such high fences.\u00a0 They try to control everything.\u00a0 You hear of helicopter parents today that don\u2019t let their kids do anything.\u00a0 Those are big issues today.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I teach on parenting, one of my favorite subjects is that God is sovereign.\u00a0 He\u2019s got to touch the lives of our kids.\u00a0 We can\u2019t do it as parents.\u00a0 We can try to be faithful in our parenting; but eventually, it is God that does this.\u00a0 \u201cUnless the Lord builds the house,\u201d we\u2019re laboring in vain.\u00a0 God has got to be the One that touches our kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, if you were sitting down with parents, first-time parents\u2014they\u2019ve got\u2014the baby\u2019s been home six months.\u00a0 They go, \u201cWe want to be the best parents we can be.\u201d\u00a0 Just give me your best counsel that you\u2019d pass along to them for what\u2019s ahead of them on the journey over the next 18 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, number one: You\u2019ve got to know your child because not all kids fit in the same discipline program.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 You could discipline one child one way\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014and the next one\u2014it is not going to work for.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 Number two: You better have a relationship with your child that\u2019s healthy, or that child will not pay any attention to your teaching.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to trust God.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to believe that God is bigger than you are.\u00a0 These are God\u2019s kids.\u00a0 You need to assume the responsibility.\u00a0 You\u2019re really the steward taking care of His kids.\u00a0 You try to do it well; but ultimately, the results are in His hands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tConsistency\u2014you\u2019ve got to be consistent.\u00a0 You have to work at being there, doing it every day.\u00a0 I often compare to horses\u2014or stuff like that\u2014that I\u2019m familiar with on the ranch.\u00a0 You don\u2019t break a horse to lead by going down there every week.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to go down there every day\u2014maybe twice a day, three times a day.\u00a0 You have to go revisit; take them through the loops.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSame thing with kids\u2014you need to be consistent in what you do.\u00a0 You need to follow through when you say things.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to be a model that kids can see that your Christian life is working for you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How do you want your children to remember you?\u00a0 What do you hope at the end of your life\u2014maybe they\u2019re gathering around your bed to honor you as their father\u2014what do you hope they\u2019ll compliment you on?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That I followed the Bible.\u00a0 I\u2019m a Christ follower, and I tried to carry that over into my family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know that\u2019s a great North Star for any man or any woman who might be listening to us today.\u00a0 I\u2019ve been spending some time with Chuck Swindoll recently\u2014not personally, mind you\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but in a book that he wrote.\u00a0 Chuck gave me a book; and it\u2019s a commentary on the book of Timothy, 1st and 2nd Timothy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s just been interesting to spend time with Chuck, kind of mentoring me through a good book of coaching me as he gives observations from the life of Paul, who mentored Timothy in life\u2019s most important commitments.\u00a0 He was coaching Timothy in his ministry, in his relationships, in his own life and heart, and spiritual growth with God.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think all of us, as men\u2014all the women listeners to this broadcast really should take a step back and ask the question, \u201cWho has access to your life?\u00a0 Who\u2019s mentoring you?\u00a0 Who\u2019s speaking into your life?\u201d\u00a0 Maybe it\u2019s through a good book\u2014there\u2019s nothing wrong with that.\u00a0 I wouldn\u2019t want that to take the place of real relationships; but, \u201cWho\u2019s helping you in these important commitments?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs you were talking, I was thinking about Bob and Mary Ann.\u00a0 They were raising their kids as we were raising ours; and he still is raising his kids, by the way.\u00a0 We\u2019re done, but I learned all kinds of things from Bob.\u00a0 I think\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014there is a principle of iron sharpening iron\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014in our lives.\u00a0 If we don\u2019t have those relationships\u2014if we don\u2019t have great books, great resources, that we\u2019re drinking deeply from in our lives, feeding our souls, we can shrivel up and really become self-absorbed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wrote <em>Oops! We Forgot the Kids<\/em> to be one of those mentoring tools.\u00a0 In fact, you\u2019ve got a group of characters in the book; and we\u2019re reading their e-mails back and forth to one another and their text messages in the middle of their parenting.\u00a0 It just drops people down into the middle of what\u2019s going on with some real life parents.\u00a0 I say real life\u2014even though, fictional\u2014because the stories are real life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is designed to help parents go, \u201cOkay, other people are dealing with the same stuff we are; and there\u2019s hope.\u00a0 There\u2019re answers.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 There is a lot of hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Doyle, I just appreciate you; and I\u2019m glad\u2014going all the way back to that sixth year, seventh year of marriage when you had to come to grips with your own selfishness\u2014that you did. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Praise God!\u00a0 I am, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m sure you\u2019re still dealing with a little of it now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 I still do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I am.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 I still do.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yet, that model is a great model for our listeners because I think you could basically say every issue you\u2019re facing goes back to, \u201cAre you going to be serving self\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014\u201cor yielding to Jesus Christ and allowing Him to live His life in and through you?\u201d\u00a0 I appreciate you, appreciate your books, and hope you\u2019ll join us again sometime on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Doyle:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you so much for having me, Dennis; Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I really\u2014I hope that folks, who have heard your story, will get copies of your books because I think they\u2019ll find them, first of all, fun to read but also pregnant with a lot of truth.\u00a0 It may be something that they want to pass on to somebody else after they\u2019ve read through it themselves.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got both of Doyle\u2019s books in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about the books, <em>Oops! I Forgot My Wife<\/em> and <em>Oops!<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>We Forgot the Kids<\/em>.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 If you have any questions about the books; or if you want to order them by phone, call 1-800-FL-TODAY, 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and, then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, we have had some exciting news here at <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 In fact, I\u2019ve been sharing it with you already this week.\u00a0 We had some friends of the ministry who came to us not long ago; and they said, \u201cWe know that December is a critical month of the year for ministries like yours who have to raise funds in order to continue doing what you do.\u201d\u00a0 A lot of people will make year-end donations and, depending on what happens at yearend, you can kind of determine what the coming year is going to look like.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThese folks said, \u201cWe would like to make a matching-gift challenge.\u00a0 We would like to make available to you funds that we will release when those funds are matched by your donors.\u201d\u00a0 So, when you make a donation of $50, we can go get $50 from the matching-gift fund.\u00a0 They have agreed to that, up to a total of $2.5 million.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSince that time, we\u2019ve had some other folks come along; and they have said, \u201cWe might want to add to that total.\u201d\u00a0 So, actually, our matching-gift fund could be growing here in the next few days.\u00a0 We just haven\u2019t heard back from these folks, yet; but we\u2019re asking you, \u201cCan you consider making a year-end donation to help support this ministry and help us be in the best possible position we can be in as we move into 2012?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you can, go to FamilyLifeToday.com, click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d, and make an online donation; or call toll-free 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800- \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and, then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone; and when you do, that donation is going to be matched on a dollar for dollar basis up to a total of, right now, $2.5 million.\u00a0 So, we do hope to hear from you.\u00a0 We need to hear from as many of you as possible if we are going to take full advantage of this matching-gift opportunity.\u00a0\u00a0 We just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance for whatever you are able to do in support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWith that, we\u2019ve got to wrap things up for today.\u00a0 Thanks for being with us.\u00a0 Hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend.\u00a0 Hope you can join us back on Monday when Michael and Gina Spehn are going to be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMichael and Gina both lost their spouse within a month of each other.\u00a0 We\u2019ll hear the story of how God walked them through those dark valleys; and then, how God brought them together to blend a new family.\u00a0 That\u2019s coming up Monday.\u00a0 I hope you can be here.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back Monday for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302420","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302420"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302420"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302420"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302420"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}