{"id":302404,"date":"2011-11-16T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-11-16T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/faith-led-feelings\/"},"modified":"2011-11-16T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-11-16T17:00:00","slug":"faith-led-feelings","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/faith-led-feelings\/","title":{"rendered":"Faith-led Feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Should you trust your emotions?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-11-16.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.04M","filesize_raw":"24160496","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[4722,5161],"podcast_series":[7839],"cwp_profile":[9248],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302404","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-christianity","tag-emotions","podcast_series-feelings-and-faith","cwp_profile-brian-borgman","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302404\/faith-led-feelings","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302404\/faith-led-feelings","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"MfZOHTeuNi\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/faith-led-feelings\/\">Faith-led Feelings<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/faith-led-feelings\/embed\/#?secret=MfZOHTeuNi\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Faith-led Feelings&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"MfZOHTeuNi\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Should you trust your emotions?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-11-16.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Your emotions\u2014how you feel about things\u2014are not insignificant; but your emotions can lead you in the wrong direction.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Brian Borgman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 One thing, for sure, is that we cannot determine the will of God by how we feel about something.\u00a0 We cannot determine what\u2019s true by how we feel about something.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually very dangerous to rely on your feelings and then turn around and translate that into, \u201cThis is what God wants me to do.\u00a0 This is what God wants me to believe, and this is how God wants me to obey.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe know the will of God through the Word of God.\u00a0 It\u2019s the Word of God that\u2019s infallible, not our feelings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 16th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about our feelings\u2014about when we should pay attention to them and what kind of attention we ought to pay to them.\u00a0 Stay with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 Okay, this is a little off the track\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s never happened before!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014with what we\u2019re talking about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Usually our broadcast goes off-track!\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 You\u2019re just starting it out that way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019re talking this week about emotions, and about feelings, and about what we should do with those, and how we should understand them.\u00a0 I know we\u2019ve been talking about it mostly in the context of our relationships\u2014our marriage relationship, our family relationships, our relationships with others\u2014and how emotions can be destructive or damaging in that context; but I\u2019ve been to some churches where, during the Sunday morning worship service, it got very expressive.\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m saying?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I mean, the whole body was involved in the expression.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And how did you feel about that, Bob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was not the norm for me.\u00a0 It was very different than what I was used to.\u00a0 So the question is, \u201cIs this a cultural preference?\u201d\u00a0 I want to toss that one to our pastor and see what happens at his church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, Brian Borgman joins us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Brian\u2014Grace Community Church in Menden, Nevada\u2014which side of the aisle are you on?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Which side of the aisle am I on?\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s a great question.\u00a0 I would say that there are going to be emotional expressions that are more culturally acceptable in certain circumstances; but when we read our Bibles carefully, we find that the predominant emotion to be expressed in worship is joy.\u00a0 So, if we\u2019re not engaging the head and the heart, then we\u2019re not honoring God as we should.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What the heart may look like externally may be different in different places.\u00a0 The guy who is still and stoic may be just as filled with joy as the guy who\u2019s dancing; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019m sure that\u2019s true; but we have to be careful that we don\u2019t just kind of pigeon hole these into cultural categories.\u00a0 We need to make sure that we are being moved by truth.\u00a0 Jonathan Edwards said in <em>Religious Affections<\/em> that he sought to move the affections\u2014raise the affections\u2014of his hearers as high as he possibly could with only truth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to take this in a little bit of a different direction.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been talking about emotions this week and about your book, <em>Feelings and Faith.<\/em>\u00a0 I just want to ask you a real blunt question, \u201cShould we <em>trust<\/em> our emotions?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cShould we trust our emotions?\u201d\u00a0 I would say the answer to that is, \u201cNo.\u201d\u00a0 There is a very important principle that we\u2019ve touched on and that is that sin has affected our emotions.\u00a0 Just because we can\u2019t <em>trust<\/em> our emotions, just because we\u2019re not to be <em>led<\/em> by our emotions, doesn\u2019t mean that we don\u2019t see the <em>value<\/em> of them and try to cultivate them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, in making a major decision in my life, or for that matter, a not-so-major decision, what do we do with our emotions because, I think, we have a generation of young people today who want to live by feelings and not by faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, one thing for sure is we cannot determine the will of God by how we feel about something.\u00a0 We cannot determine what\u2019s true by how we <em>feel<\/em> about something. We know the will of God through the Word of God.\u00a0 It\u2019s actually very dangerous to rely on your feelings and then turn around and translate that into, \u201cThis is what God wants me to do.\u00a0 This is what God wants me to believe; this is how God wants me to obey,\u201d because our feelings can be misled.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to make sure that we are in alignment with the Word of God.\u00a0 It\u2019s the Word of God that\u2019s infallible, not our feelings.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about the passage where Paul writes and he says, \u201cFor it is He Who is at work within you both to will (that\u2019s to create the desire) and to work His own good pleasure\u201d?\u00a0 It does seem that God does create desires in our hearts to want to accomplish something or invest our lives somewhere\u2014something we\u2019re passionate about\u2014and then He provides the opportunity to work out that passion.\u00a0 Can\u2019t that be a confirmation of what God wants you to do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think that it could; but it has to be tested by Scripture.\u00a0 In other words, what I want to make sure that we <em>don\u2019t <\/em>convey to people is, \u201cI feel strongly about this or that,\u201d \u201cI feel strongly that I should date this person,\u201d \u201cI feel strongly that I should marry this person,\u201d \u201cI feel that I should do this or that,\u201d and then just live your life based on those emotions.\u00a0 God most certainly does work in us both to will and to do His good pleasure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And He does give us desires in our hearts; but what I hear you saying is that those desires in our heart can\u2019t be determinative.\u00a0 We can\u2019t look at that and say, \u201cThis is how I know the will of God because I feel strongly.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s not <em>nothing<\/em>, but it\u2019s also not what you rely on; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right, it\u2019s not <em>nothing<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And to the man who would say to a friend, \u201cI just don\u2019t have any feelings for my wife anymore; I want out of this relationship.\u201d\u00a0 At that point, you\u2019d say, \u201cGo to the Bible, where Jesus said, \u2018Let your yes be yes and your no, no,\u2019 and, \u2018Don\u2019t you understand that two joined together are not to be torn apart?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFeelings, at that point, do not negate a commitment.\u00a0 That\u2019s how we\u2019re seeing it played out today in the Christian community.\u00a0 I mean, \u201cIf we don\u2019t have feelings for each other; therefore, we\u2019re out of love with one another.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right; and I think that what we need to do is we need to have, in our minds\u2014we need to have a hierarchy of priorities.\u00a0 In a situation like that, if I were counseling a person, I would say, \u201cYou made a covenant before God to this woman.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to keep your promise.\u00a0 This is a matter of integrity.\u00a0 It is a matter of commitment.\u201d\u00a0 But, then, I would also address the issue of when you say, \u201cI don\u2019t love my wife,\u201d or, \u201cI don\u2019t have feelings for my wife,\u201d that is also an issue that needs to be addressed.\u00a0 I would say it\u2019s actually a sin issue that needs to be addressed.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, and I like what\u2014we had a pastor here recently who said, in that situation, he takes people to Revelation, Chapter 2.\u00a0 He says, \u201cHere\u2019s where the church has lost its first love.\u00a0 The instruction there is, \u2018Repent.\u00a0 Return to the feelings you had at first and live those out.\u2019\u201d\u00a0 There is instruction that says, \u201cOkay, so you\u2019re not feeling it.\u00a0 Here\u2019s what you do, and see if God can\u2019t rekindle.\u00a0 See if He doesn\u2019t rekindle some of that emotion back in you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think what\u2019s happening in our culture today is we have created love and feelings and made them equal.\u00a0 Love can be a feeling, but it\u2019s not always a feeling.\u00a0 It may, first and foremost, be a covenant and a commitment to another person.\u00a0 Sometimes the feelings are there; sometimes they\u2019re not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBarbara and I have had an extremely rich 39 years together.\u00a0 I mean, what a ride!\u00a0 What an incredible adventure and experience.\u00a0 Yet the number of hours, days, weeks, months, and years that have been lived without feelings fueling the relationship\u2014I wouldn\u2019t even know how to count them.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMost of life is not lived on the romantic plane!\u00a0 There are those moments, but you don\u2019t live life there, where you\u2019re falling helplessly under the control of romantic gravity and where you are just infatuated with each other.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right; and you know, Dennis, I would want to make a distinction between\u2014let\u2019s say\u2014romantic feelings of love and the idea that love can be emotionless.\u00a0 I realize, certainly, that we don\u2019t live in the realm of romantic feelings all the time; but I think Paul, for instance in 1 Corinthians 13, would warn us about the attitude of doing the right things but not having love.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo I think that it\u2019s possible for us to kind of swing too far to the other side to where we say, \u201cOkay, look, I\u2019m a covenant-keeper.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never cheated.\u00a0 I bring home my check.\u00a0 I pay the bills.\u00a0 Of course, I\u2019m a loving husband.\u201d\u00a0 Well, that doesn\u2019t necessarily follow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to ask you about another scene in Scripture that\u2019s kind of an interesting scene.\u00a0 It\u2019s the scene in the life of David where his son is sick unto death, and David is grieving.\u00a0 The son dies; and we see David, all of the sudden, get up, stop grieving, get dressed, and go to worship.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe\u2019s confronted about it and he says, \u201cWell, when he was still alive, I was pleading for his life.\u00a0 Now that he\u2019s dead, he can\u2019t come to me; I\u2019ll go to him,\u201d and he goes and rejoices.\u00a0 I read that account and I wonder\u2014families facing grief over the loss of a loved one\u2014is it wrong for us to grieve over our loss when a husband, a wife, a father, a child is taken from us?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely not.\u00a0 In fact, if we go back to that definition of emotion as being reflective of what we value\u2014when we lose a loved one, this side of heaven, we will grieve.\u00a0 The difference, though\u2014there is a difference\u2014and that is, even as Paul says, \u201cWe don\u2019t grieve as those who have no hope.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lady in our church\u2014a wonderful, wonderful Christian woman\u2014married to a terrific Christian man for almost 40 years\u2014vibrant marriage\u2014just the kind of people you wanted to send others to and just hang out with these people and let some of this rub off on you.\u00a0 He ended up dying of pulmonary fibrosis shortly before his 71<sup>st<\/sup> birthday or so.\u00a0 It is a horrible disease.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe was preparing his own soul for heaven, which did a world of good for his wife.\u00a0 There are times where she feels darkness and loneliness, but it is the fact that her roots go deep down into Scripture\u2014she has a hope.\u00a0 She knows where her husband is.\u00a0 She lives in light of eternity.\u00a0 That is what redeems her grief.\u00a0 It makes her grief have that element of hope to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, Brian, I agree with you.\u00a0 When a husband and a wife have journeyed together over a lifetime, and death takes one of them, and we know where they are, practically speaking, we have to give ourselves the freedom to miss the relationship\u2014miss the richness of the other person\u2019s love and the richness of memories that we\u2019ve made with one another.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think about the reverse, however, of two people who didn\u2019t get along or two people who aren\u2019t getting along, where there are other emotions that can begin to set in\u2014emotions of bitterness, resentment, and an unforgiving heart.\u00a0 Speak to the person who is listening right now\u2014and they may be at odds with a family member or someone outside their family.\u00a0 Emotionally, when you bring up that other person\u2019s name, there\u2019s a churn.\u00a0 Their stomach goes into knots.\u00a0 There\u2019s something that\u2019s just not right.\u00a0 What should they do?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, first of all, you have to recognize that that kind of bitterness is frequently the fruit of unforgiveness.\u00a0 Unforgiveness is a huge, huge issue in Scripture.\u00a0 We also need to remember that there is an emotional element to forgiveness and unforgiveness\u2014 both.\u00a0 When we start to actually become consumed with bitterness, we\u2019re putting ourselves, spiritually, in harm\u2019s way.\u00a0 So for that person who struggles with that, I would say that you need to go right back to Scripture and you need to see what the Bible says about forgiveness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere are some pretty scary passages that deal with an unforgiving heart.\u00a0 Jesus tells a parable in Matthew 18.\u00a0 Peter thought he was being so generous, \u201cLord, how many times should I forgive my brother if he sins?\u00a0 Seven?\u201d\u00a0 Of course, Peter thought he was being generous because the rabbis generally taught three; and once they get to three, then you are done\u2014no more.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJesus says, \u201cNo, seventy times seven.\u201d\u00a0 And then He tells this parable and at the end\u2014of course, you remember the parable in Matthew 18\u2014at the end, Jesus says, \u201cSo shall your heavenly Father do to you if you do not forgive your brother from the heart.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe need to realize that we have actually sinned against God more in one day than another human being could sin against us in a lifetime.\u00a0 We need to keep those scales clearly before our eyes.\u00a0 When we begin to realize that God, in Christ, has forgiven us of a mountain of sin that would have sunk us into hell, that is actually what empowers us to turn around and forgive somebody else.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul could say, \u201cForgive one another <em>just as<\/em> God in Christ has forgiven you.\u201d\u00a0 The power to forgive and overcome bitterness is right there through God\u2019s Word and God\u2019s Spirit.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you ever had to do that personally?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Give me an illustration.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we have a man (who is obviously unnamed).\u00a0 After a service, he came up and started swearing at me, using incredible profanity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 After church?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, after church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you\u2019re the pastor?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m the pastor; yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was it that bad of a sermon?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was actually one of my better ones.\u00a0 So I couldn\u2019t understand what he was so upset about.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 But he came up, and he actually started poking me in the face.\u00a0 One of our deacons was standing there, and I was expecting the deacon to give me a hand; and he just kind of watched.\u00a0 Anyway\u2014\u201cI love you brother!\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnyway, the guy stormed out of the church; and through a number of circumstances, he came back.\u00a0 We told him he couldn\u2019t come back until he repented, obviously.\u00a0 He came back with somewhat of a repentant attitude; but I did not realize how much bitterness I had in my heart until a very unfortunate circumstance happened in his life, and I did not show him the mercy that I should have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt wasn\u2019t until a year after, that he came to me and said, \u201cYou know, when you responded to me in that circumstance like that,\u201d he said, \u201cI just needed you to be there for me.\u201d\u00a0 It was like the Spirit of God just revealed to me, \u201cYou have been harboring that resentment in your heart.\u201d\u00a0 Now, I thought I had dealt with it; but I had been harboring that resentment.\u00a0 I asked him to forgive me right there on the spot because I realized that, in fact, I had been treating him in a way that I harbored resentment.\u00a0 The Bible tells us that we need to make sure no root of bitterness springs up in our heart and cuts us off from the grace of God.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Forgiveness means we give up the right to punish another person.\u00a0 We give up all of our rights and we say, \u201cI relinquish you from the debt that you incurred with me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Someone poking you in the eye, cussing you out\u2014that doesn\u2019t feel good.\u00a0 What in the world?\u00a0 Why was he doing that?\u00a0 What was behind all of that, Brian?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 He didn\u2019t like the way I responded to his criticism of some of the songs that we sang.\u00a0 Some of the songs induced people to raise their hands.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wow.\u00a0 You know, as we\u2019ve talked this week about our feelings, we\u2019ve tended to go toward those destructive emotions that can damage relationships.\u00a0 If you were going to fertilize and pour water on emotions that need to spring up and grow, what would a few of those be?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Compassion, joy, and love.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Those are some good ones.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think so.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And what would you do to water them, feed them, and nourish them?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, we need to remember that what we have in the Lord Jesus is the example par excellence.\u00a0 I have to qualify that Jesus is always more than our example.\u00a0 He is our Redeemer; but the Bible is also really clear we are to walk even as He walked\u2014we\u2019re to follow in His steps; we\u2019re to imitate Him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, to water those emotions, I think we spend time looking at Jesus.\u00a0 We spend time with Jesus.\u00a0 B.B. Warfield had a great essay a number of years ago (a hundred years ago or so) on the emotional life of our Lord.\u00a0 He points out that, in the Gospels, the preeminent emotion that Jesus displays is compassion.\u00a0 I find that that is a challenge for me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you water those emotions with the truth of God\u2019s Word, asking God to show you where you\u2019re short and where those areas are deficient.\u00a0 You look to the Lord Jesus.\u00a0 I have a guarantee; and that is that the Spirit of God, if He is dwelling in me\u2014He is conforming me more and more to the image of Christ.\u00a0 His desire is for me to be more like Jesus.\u00a0 So I can count on the fact that when I\u2019m praying, \u201cMake me more compassionate.\u00a0 Give me more love,\u201d that He will do those things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a good word.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBefore I came in the studio here to do this broadcast, I was having a conversation with one of my co-workers here; and I looked at him and I said, \u201cYou\u2019re far more compassionate than I am.\u201d\u00a0 I have need in my life of doing what you\u2019re talking about doing\u2014looking more at the life of Jesus Christ and allowing His compassion to flow through me\u2014not just looking at people through my own eyes, but looking at people through His eyes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s one last assignment I want to give you that involves emotions.\u00a0 Before we\u2019re done here, I want to ask you to step back in here\u2014I\u2019ve got a little assignment for you, Brian.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I tell you what, before you give that assignment, let me jump in here and let our listeners know how they can get a copy of Brian\u2019s book, which is called <em>Feelings and Faith<\/em>, which we have in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com; and there\u2019s information there about Brian Borgman\u2019s helpful book, <em>Feelings and Faith.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; you can order from us online if you\u2019d like, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and ask for a copy over the phone:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 Again, the book is called <em>Feelings and Faith.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>When you get in touch with us, we\u2019ll make arrangements to get a copy sent out to you. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLet me also say a quick word of thanks to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with your financial gifts.\u00a0 We are listener-supported, and those donations are what make it possible for us to pay for the cost of producing and syndicating this daily radio program.\u00a0 A number of you have told us that you find it helpful.\u00a0 In fact, I was just out recently with some of our listeners, and they were sharing with us about particular programs that God had used in their lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s always a great encouragement.\u00a0 We love hearing from listeners.\u00a0 We also appreciate it very much when you help support us by making whatever contribution you can make\u2014whether it\u2019s $20, or $30, or $50, or $100, or even more than that.\u00a0 We are grateful for your support!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you help us with a donation this month, we\u2019d like to send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s book, <em>Growing Together in Gratitude.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>It\u2019s a devotional guide for families, all about how we cultivate a heart of thanksgiving in our own heart and in our children\u2019s hearts.\u00a0 If you make your donation online at FamiyLifeToday.com, all you have to do is click the button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d and fill out the donation form.\u00a0 We will automatically send you a copy of Barbara\u2019s book, along with a Thanksgiving prayer card.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you call to make a donation at 1-800-FLTODAY, be sure to mention, when you make your donation, that you\u2019d like the Thanksgiving devotional book; and we\u2019ll be happy to send it to you.\u00a0\u00a0 We do appreciate your support of this ministry and want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to you for your partnership with us.\u00a0 Dennis\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s been our privilege this week to talk with Brian Borgman about his book, <em>Feelings and Faith,<\/em> and helping Christians better understand the emotional component of their lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know that your parents are really important to you.\u00a0 You write about them in your book and how they came to faith.\u00a0 I gave you the gift of a book, called <em>The<\/em> <em>Tribute<\/em>, which I wrote.\u00a0 To kind of give you a jumpstart on writing that tribute to your parents, I\u2019m just wondering if you\u2019d be willing to take the last few seconds of our broadcast here and address your mom and your dad and give them a verbal tribute for how they\u2019ve built into your life and what they mean to you.\u00a0 Would you be willing to do that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Of course; of course.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>Mom and Dad, I know that you will probably listen to this.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>I want to tell you that you two have been an example to me of two people who have loved each other through thick and thin, and have always been there for each other, and never turned away from each other.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>That has been a model that has infused 23 years of marriage for me.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>I want to thank you for what you have done.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>I want to thank you, Dad, for your quiet wisdom.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>Mom, I want to thank you for your undying love.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>I always have known that you loved me more than anything else in this world.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>I love both of you very much.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><em>\u00a0 <\/em><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302404","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302404"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302404"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302404"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302404"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}