{"id":302402,"date":"2011-11-14T12:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-11-14T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/sanctifying-your-emotions\/"},"modified":"2011-11-14T12:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-11-14T17:00:00","slug":"sanctifying-your-emotions","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sanctifying-your-emotions\/","title":{"rendered":"Sanctifying Your Emotions"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You feel happy, sad, or angry.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-11-14.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.19M","filesize_raw":"25361115","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2822],"tags":[4722,5161],"podcast_series":[7839],"cwp_profile":[9248],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302402","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-growing-in-your-faith","tag-christianity","tag-emotions","podcast_series-feelings-and-faith","cwp_profile-brian-borgman","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302402\/sanctifying-your-emotions","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302402\/sanctifying-your-emotions","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"KQuAVFNDWt\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sanctifying-your-emotions\/\">Sanctifying Your Emotions<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/sanctifying-your-emotions\/embed\/#?secret=KQuAVFNDWt\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Sanctifying Your Emotions&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"KQuAVFNDWt\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"You feel happy, sad, or angry.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-11-14.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 There is such a thing as righteous anger; but let\u2019s be honest, \u201cMost of the time when we get angry, we\u2019re not being particularly righteous.\u201d\u00a0 In fact, the Bible says the anger of man does not produce or achieve the righteousness of God.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Brian Borgman.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are times where we think that getting angry is the way to get our way or getting angry is the way to control.\u00a0 Dealing with anger really begins by seeing what an ugly, horrible sin it is.\u00a0 The fact is, some of those things get imprinted on people\u2019s souls; and it\u2019s very serious stuff.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, November 14<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Anger is just one emotion that can get stirred up in our soul.\u00a0 What do we do with those emotions, and how do we deal with our anger?\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about both of those questions today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad we\u2019re going to tackle this subject because I think this is an area where there is confusion, where there\u2019s not been a well-thought-through theology of how we understand our emotions.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad we\u2019re digging into this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>I am too.\u00a0 I think every single person who is listening to our broadcast can benefit from a better understanding biblically of how they were made\u2014their emotions.\u00a0 This will help husbands and wives as they relate to each other.\u00a0 Parents are shaping their children to better understand their emotions as well.\u00a0 I think what Brian Borgman has done here is going to be very helpful.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBrian, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Brian is a pastor at Grace Community Church in Minden, Nevada; and he writes, \u201cI live in beautiful northwest Nevada.\u201d\u00a0 You said you started preaching at the age of 15.\u00a0 What did you preach on at 15?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 The first sermon I preached was Matthew 6:33.\u00a0 It was the fastest, shortest sermon of my life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 (Laughing) You said everything you knew about the verse; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It must have not been too bad because you\u2019ve made a profession out of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the Lord has been kind.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Well, he\u2019s also a writer.\u00a0 He and his wife Ariel have been married for more than 20 years.\u00a0 They have three children; and he\u2019s written a book, <em>Feelings and Faith: Cultivating Godly Emotions in the Christian Life.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have to ask you, \u201cIf I had known you growing up, would I have known you as an expressive person or more private, perhaps a little more unexpressive in your emotions?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I would probably have been a paradox to you because on the outside I would have been very reserved, very serious.\u00a0 I knew how to have fun, but I was not a very expressive person.\u00a0 But then I also was very emotional; and in fact, at a certain period of my Christian life, gravitated towards some extreme emotional expressions of Christianity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think we do tend to make the assumption that people who don\u2019t express their emotions, or feelings, or are maybe difficult to read, don\u2019t have them.\u00a0 What you\u2019re saying is, \u201cThey do.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Correct.\u00a0 Correct.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the problem is most people don\u2019t know how to identify what they\u2019re feeling and really put a name to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 There is a lot of what you could call emotional dysfunction\u2014whether it is, \u201cYou run hot or you run cold,\u201d\u2014the fact is, \u201cThere\u2019s a short-circuit somewhere, and the Bible addresses those things.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 God designed us to have emotions, to <em>feel <\/em>about things.\u00a0 Help us understand how that is a part of our soul, how God made us.\u00a0 What\u2019s the feeling component?\u00a0 Am I saying it right by talking about our feelings when I talk about our emotions?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would just say that emotions are more than feelings.\u00a0 Normally, when we talk about feelings, we\u2019re just talking about the senses that we experience.\u00a0 Emotions, actually, are deeper than that but definitely related to that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we think about it, we actually need to start by thinking about God because, when we go to Scripture, the Bible is absolutely chock-full of a God who <em>feels deeply<\/em> and intensely.\u00a0 So if we\u2019re made in His image and likeness, then the emotions actually are just going to be a part of what it means to be an image-bearer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What are some of those emotions that you\u2019re talking about that God expresses?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s a whole panorama of them.\u00a0 For instance, God takes <em>delight <\/em>in His Son, Isaiah 42:1.\u00a0 He <em>rejoices<\/em> over His people, Zephaniah 3:17.\u00a0 He\u2019s grieved; think of the flood narrative in Genesis 6.\u00a0 He is angry.\u00a0 It says in Psalm 95, \u201cI <em>loathed <\/em>that generation,\u201d speaking of the generation that wandered in the wilderness.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen he uses imagery, for instance, in the Psalms and the Prophets, where he connects a brokenness of heart that He has over His people to a person who has experienced the unfaithfulness of a spouse\u2014very, very graphic, vivid, intense language.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe compares Himself to a mother; Isaiah 49.\u00a0 The language of Scripture is just filled with God expressing a whole panorama of emotion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And one of the things that separates us from the rest of creation is that we share in this aspect of God\u2019s personality.\u00a0 Dogs don\u2019t necessarily experience jealousy or experience anger.\u00a0 They can be provoked and they can growl, but they can\u2019t experience deep love like we can as humans.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have a golden retriever and she\u2019s pretty special, and so I think that\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When Bob was saying that, I was thinking, \u201cNow he\u2019s getting in trouble with all the pet owners.\u00a0 They\u2019re going to say, \u2018You do not know my cocker spaniel!\u2019\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But you have a little more highly-defined emotions than your golden retriever; don\u2019t you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I do; hope I do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So to be an image-bearer of God is to participate in these emotions; and yet, honestly, it feels like emotions often get us into a whole lot of trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 I think that\u2019s probably the basic reason why there are so many misperceptions about the emotions because our experience of them is normally not positive.\u00a0 And then, when we do have positive experiences, we don\u2019t usually attach those to emotion.\u00a0 So there\u2019s no doubt that sin has permeated the entirety of our being and has affected our emotional life as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Early in our marriage, I made the mistake of proclaiming to a friend\u2014I said, \u201cYou know, I can only remember a handful of times that I\u2019ve ever been angry, just really ticked off.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This was early in your marriage.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I said early.\u00a0 I said that, Bob.\u00a0 And then one day when we had all six of our kids in a 600-square-foot, one-bathroom apartment for eight weeks in the summer, where I taught a graduate level class for Campus Crusade for Christ\u00ae, one of the kids, with his Big Wheel\u00ae, ran over my favorite fly rod.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs I was pitching a fit like a 14-year-old, Brian, I grabbed the fly rod.\u00a0 I was so ticked.\u00a0 I took it and finished breaking it into sticks, smaller, and smaller, and smaller.\u00a0 As I was doing that, the words that I had said some months earlier, saying, \u201cYou know, I can only count on my hand the number of times I\u2019ve really gotten mad.\u201d\u00a0 I thought, \u201cI think I\u2019ve been angry a few more times than I care to admit.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Most Christians don\u2019t know what to do with these emotions.\u00a0 You talk about our emotions being sanctified.\u00a0 Now that\u2019s a big word.\u00a0 What do you mean, \u201cHaving your emotions sanctified,\u201d other than helping me become clothed and in my right mind when I\u2019m dealing with my favorite fly rod being crushed?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, one of the mistakes that we make is that we think that our emotions are sovereign over our lives, and that we are just subject to however we feel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t help how I feel.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cI can\u2019t help it.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019ve had people in my office tell me, \u201cI\u2019m getting a divorce.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019d say, \u201cYou don\u2019t have biblical grounds for a divorce;\u201d and they\u2019d say, \u201cWell, I found somebody else; and I\u2019m in love, and I can\u2019t help the way I feel.\u201d\u00a0 So we have this misperception that the emotions are absolutely sovereign and just rule us, and we have to obey them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, anger, desire\u2014all those things are seen to just <em>rule<\/em> over us.\u00a0 The Bible does <em>not<\/em> present that as our lot in life.\u00a0 The Bible tells us that we are actually filled and controlled by God\u2019s Spirit if we\u2019re believers; and part of the Fruit of the Spirit, of course, is self-control.\u00a0 We are to be people who have sober judgment, sound minds.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen we talk about \u201csanctifying the emotions\u201d\u2014what we\u2019re talking about is actually doing basically two things.\u00a0 On the one hand, putting to death ungodly or sinful emotions or emotional displays; and on the other hand, bringing into existence and growth godly emotions.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy premise is that the Bible is actually, not only authoritative in telling me how to live, but it\u2019s also authoritative in telling me how to feel.\u00a0 So the Bible can tell me, \u201cto rejoice.\u201d\u00a0 The Bible can tell me, \u201cto be angry and not sin.\u201d\u00a0 The Bible can tell me, \u201cmourn with those who mourn,\u201d \u201cweep with those who weep,\u201d \u201crejoice with those who rejoice,\u201d \u201cforgive from the heart.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo my premise is that our fundamental assumption that the emotions rule us is just flat out wrong.\u00a0 That\u2019s mostly our experience, but the Bible shows us a different way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright.\u00a0 So let me take you to Dennis\u2019 apartment and the fly rod.\u00a0 He walks in; he sees the Big Wheel going over the fly rod.\u00a0 Instantly, this thing happens in him.\u00a0 Here\u2019s this rod that he loves, and it\u2019s been ruined; and he can\u2019t help the\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 Uh-uh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Could you have <em>stopped<\/em> that feeling from coming up inside of you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 Well, I could have controlled it, rather than allowing it to control me.\u00a0 I would say, \u201cWhen I described myself like a 14-year-old throwing a fit, it was describing a grown man who was allowing his emotions to rule over him.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd that\u2019s what I hear you saying, Brian.\u00a0 We\u2019re not to allow our emotions to rule over us.\u00a0 We\u2019re to have the Holy Spirit of God control us and, therefore, bring about what you\u2019re talking about, Bob\u2014which is a check.\u00a0 There\u2019s a check on those emotions of anger that keeps them from being displayed like I did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, I understand you\u2019re talking about a sanctified response; but my question to you, Brian, is, \u201cThat feeling that he had\u2014that he just let control his actions\u2014are we able to control the feeling itself?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s a great question, and here is part of the answer.\u00a0 We need to remember that our emotions actually are an indicator of what we value.\u00a0 In other words, the emotions are a response to the way we perceive and the way we value and evaluate things.\u00a0 The reason you get so angry is because you loved your fly rod.\u00a0 Okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd there are a lot of great examples that you could think of, of how the emotions actually express what you value.\u00a0 You can\u2019t get angry by just thinking about anger; you actually have to have an object.\u00a0 There has to be something that actually provokes that in you\u2014same thing with joy or any other of the arrays of emotion.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo the question is, \u201cCould he actually stop that surge?\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t necessarily think that we will attain a level of sanctification to where we never feel that kind of thing; but the proper biblical response is, \u201cWhat do you do <em>with<\/em> it?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWhat do you do with the surge?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But I also hear you saying, \u201cDennis might not have had the same visceral feeling if he had not made an idol out of that fly rod in the first place.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I knew you were going to spiritualize this.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s just get it out on the table.\u00a0 He had made an idol out of his fly rod.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want you to know, Brian, that fly rod was a sanctified fly rod.\u00a0 I only went fishing on Sundays with it.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Bob, I\u2019d have to agree with your assessment.\u00a0 I think it was pure heart idolatry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Brian, I want to remind you.\u00a0 Who is the host of the broadcast?\u00a0 And we\u2019re hoping to do a couple more shows with you.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut I\u2019m looking at the clock, and I\u2019m thinking it\u2019s time\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Boy, we\u2019re out of time; got to end this right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we\u2019re laughing about this; but there are some wives who have leaned awfully close to the radio and they\u2019ve said, \u201cNow wait a second.\u00a0 I\u2019m married to a man who is <em>violent<\/em> in his emotion, <em>scary<\/em> in his emotion.\u201d\u00a0 And he\u2019s not even in the ballgame we\u2019re laughing about here.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI mean, I didn\u2019t take my anger out at a person.\u00a0 Now, my kids saw me get ticked and then I apologized later on; but we\u2019re talking about some folks, and sometimes it\u2019s women too, who have a short fuse and phew!\u00a0 They\u2019re off!\u00a0 They\u2019re ticked!\u00a0 What do you say to that person because they evidently are allowing both the surge and acting out the surge to be a part of their visible demonstration of their emotions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Unfortunately, for wives who suffer from the anger and wrath of a husband, there\u2019s not a whole lot that we can say to them that fixes their husband.\u00a0 We know that, but part of dealing with the emotions is actually starting to learn to think differently.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we start to think about anger correctly, we have to start with a passage like James 4, \u201cWhat is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?\u201d\u2014great question; right?\u00a0 You want to stop somebody in their tracks; ask them.\u00a0 We\u2019re driving down the road one time on family vacation, and my kids were little.\u00a0 They\u2019re all in the back seat of the van, and they\u2019re bickering and arguing.\u00a0 I said, \u201cYou guys stop.\u00a0 Stop!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cAshley, do you have a Bible back there?\u201d\u00a0 She said, \u201cYes, Daddy.\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cTurn to James, Chapter 4.\u00a0 Read the first verse.\u201d\u00a0 She reads, \u201cWhat is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cStop!\u00a0 Isn\u2019t that a really relevant question right now?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf I could just paraphrase what James says, it is basically, \u201cWe have desires that are unmet; and when those desires are unmet, then we go to war.\u00a0 We look at anybody that stands in the way of meeting those desires as being the enemy, and we have to start thinking properly about the emotions.\u201d\u00a0 That is, in a sense, one of the major premises of <em>Feelings and Faith<\/em>.\u00a0 With the power of the Holy Spirit and the power of God\u2019s Word, that really can happen.\u00a0 The fact is, I\u2019ve seen it happen in people\u2019s lives.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think one of the best things we do at the <em>Weekend to Remember\u00ae<\/em> is a section where we talk about conflict between a husband and a wife.\u00a0 We talk about what they feel and how anger is usually a secondary emotion to having been hurt or disappointed.\u00a0 We help husbands and wives begin to put names and labels to that which they\u2019re feeling and their spouse is feeling; and then, we begin to equip them to know what to do with it <em>when<\/em> they fail\u2014not <em>if<\/em> they fail\u2014because we <em>all<\/em> are going to fail.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat do you do with hurt when you take your emotion out on your spouse and you need to double back and say, \u201cSweetheart, I need to ask your forgiveness\u201d?\u00a0 Or, like I did with my fly rod, I got down on one knee with my kids; and I looked them in the eye and I said, \u201cOkay, you all shouldn\u2019t have run over my fly rod; but I shouldn\u2019t have gotten angry.\u00a0 I need to ask you to forgive me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOur emotions are given by God, almost like a red light on a dashboard, to tell us, \u201cSomething\u2019s not right and something needs to be dealt with here.\u201d\u00a0 You need to grow with respect to what you\u2019re feeling\u2014and not just unleash what you\u2019re feeling all the time\u2014not just say every word that you\u2019re thinking.\u00a0 Measure your words carefully.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is where the Bible\u2014Brian, you\u2019re a preacher, you know this as well\u2014the Bible really can instruct how we think and how we feel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Amen.\u00a0 Amen.\u00a0 You know, the whole thing about, \u201cWhat do we do when we blow it?\u201d\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how important it is, especially for husbands and fathers who are listening, to actually go to your spouse or your kids and actually just ask for forgiveness and acknowledge specifically what you\u2019ve done.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ve had women over the years tell me, \u201cI\u2019ve been married for X amount of years, and my husband has never admitted that he\u2019s wrong, let alone ask for forgiveness.\u201d\u00a0 And yet, it is part of the process of actually dealing with our sin\u2014in this case, sinful emotional displays\u2014that brings about that reconciliation process.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, I think it\u2019s interesting, too, that we start off a conversation talking about the emotional side of humanity and our feelings; and we pretty quickly run right to anger.\u00a0 Is it <em>the<\/em> emotional issue\u2014is it the most destructive of the emotions that we experience; do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I did a men\u2019s retreat the week before last up in Oregon, and they wanted me to do something along these lines of the emotions in two practical messages.\u00a0 You know what I did?\u2014lust and anger.\u00a0 Those are just\u2013the anger is always right there; it\u2019s always so prevalent.\u00a0 I would say that, in marriage, it\u2019s one of the most destructive things that can happen.\u00a0 So yes, anger is always right up there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have to ask you this question because it\u2019s blazing across my mind, \u201cDo you call lust an emotion?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Brian:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 In the Bible, the idea of lust is actually a neutral idea\u2014it is desire.\u00a0 The Greek word does not have a moral connotation to it; it depends on the context.\u00a0 So you could have a desire for food; you could have a <em>desire <\/em>to the office of overseer, I Timothy 3:1; or you could have what the old-timers might have called an <em>illicit <\/em>desire for a woman that\u2019s not your wife.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat desire is definitely\u2014there\u2019s an emotional component to it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think what I just demonstrated is how we started this broadcast, which is, \u201cWe\u2019re really pretty biblically illiterate about the emotional dimension of who we are and how we reflect the character of God.\u201d\u00a0 You started out by quoting how God has desires\u2014He delights in us\u2014in Scripture.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think we really need to do a better job of studying this for ourselves as single people, married people, parents\u2014so that we can, not only have better relationships, but also so we can equip the next generation of children to know how to relate when they get into the most intimate of all relationships, marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you said, we\u2019ve not thought deeply about the subject of emotions; but Brian has, and thankfully we have his book to help us.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Feelings and Faith<\/em>, and we have it in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLifeToday.com for more information on how to get a copy of the book <em>Feelings and Faith<\/em> by Brian Borgman.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe website, again, is FamilyLifeToday.com; or give us a call at 1-800-FLTODAY, that\u2019s\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 If you want to write the numbers down:\u00a0 1-800-358-6329.\u00a0 Ask about the book, <em>Feelings and Faith, <\/em>when you get in touch with us; and we\u2019ll arrange to have it sent out to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to quickly mention a project that Dennis is working on right now.\u00a0 Dennis wrote a book a number of years ago called <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date,<\/em> a book for dads of teenage daughters so that those dads can be protectors when young men begin to pursue their daughters.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we realized after Dennis wrote the book is that there are a lot of parents of teenage boys who are going, \u201cThe roles are reversed, and the girls are pursuing our boys; and we\u2019re not sure what to do about that.\u201d\u00a0 So Dennis is working right now on a book called <em>Aggressive Girls;<\/em> and we\u2019d love to hear your story, your experience, your question, what you\u2019ve done about this, as parents, as your boys have approached the teen years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo to FamilyLifeToday.com, and there\u2019s a link there that says, \u201cAggressive Girls.\u201d\u00a0 If you\u2019ll click on that link, it will take you to an area of the site where you can leave us some feedback, ask any questions you have, or share your story with us.\u00a0 Again, the website is FamilyLifeToday.com; and you click on the link that says, \u201cAggressive Girls\u201d.\u00a0 We hope to hear from you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is also, on that page, a button that says, \u201cI Care\u201d.\u00a0 I want to ask you if you would consider clicking there as well.\u00a0 The \u201cI Care\u201d button is for those of you who from time to time will get in touch with us to help support this ministry by making a donation.\u00a0 <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported; and, without your support, we could not continue to do what we do.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, if you can make a donation today, just go to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click where it says, \u201cI Care\u201d; and when you make your online donation, we will send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s devotional book for families called <em>Growing Together in Gratitude\u2014<\/em> seven stories designed to be read aloud to the family that help cultivate a spirit of gratefulness in the hearts of both parents and children.\u00a0 Along with that, we\u2019ll send you a Thanksgiving prayer card.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll you have to do is make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Click the \u201cI Care\u201d button, or call us at 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 You can make your donation over the phone; and if you do that, just make sure to mention that you\u2019d like the devotional book so we\u2019ll know to send a copy of it out to you.\u00a0 We appreciate you; we really do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you\u2019ll be back with us tomorrow when we\u2019re going to continue our conversation on the subject of emotions and how we\u2019re to understand them\u2014our faith and our feelings.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today\u2014his name is Keith Lynch\u2014and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302402"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302402"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302402"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302402"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}