{"id":302393,"date":"2011-11-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-11-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/leading-them-back-to-christ\/"},"modified":"2011-11-02T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-11-02T15:00:00","slug":"leading-them-back-to-christ","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/leading-them-back-to-christ\/","title":{"rendered":"Leading Them Back to Christ"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There&#8217;s no greater sorrow than to watch a child walk away from the faith.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-11-02.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"29.21M","filesize_raw":"30633008","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2821],"tags":[4722,4159,5182],"podcast_series":[7836],"cwp_profile":[9246,9244],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302393","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reaching-out","tag-christianity","tag-gospel","tag-prodigal","podcast_series-generation-ex-christian","cwp_profile-drew-dyck","cwp_profile-rob-rienow","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302393\/leading-them-back-to-christ","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302393\/leading-them-back-to-christ","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ryoSboaNza\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/leading-them-back-to-christ\/\">Leading Them Back to Christ<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/leading-them-back-to-christ\/embed\/#?secret=ryoSboaNza\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Leading Them Back to Christ&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ryoSboaNza\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var 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faith.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-11-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Author and researcher Drew Dyck says that if you have a son or a daughter who is in their early 20s\u2014they\u2019re not interested anymore in spiritual things, not going to church\u2014there is still reason for hope.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 When I was doing these interviews with people who had walked away from the faith, something really surprised me.\u00a0 My wife actually suggested that I start asking a kind of an absurd question, at least it seemed absurd.\u00a0 She said, \u201cAsk them if they ever still pray.\u201d\u00a0 Almost to a person, they admitted\u2014maybe in hard times, in times of doubt about their doubt, they broke down and would utter a prayer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat it showed me is that there were spiritual signs of life.\u00a0 That was heartening, really, to see that God was at work in their hearts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, November 2nd.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk today about what we can do to help nurture some of the spiritual signs of life that we see in the young people who don\u2019t seem interested in church anymore.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 As we have been talking this week about young people growing up and wandering or abandoning the faith, I\u2019ve often wondered, \u201cIf we can just get them married, and get them to have kids, won\u2019t that fix everything?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLots of times you watch these young people who have wandered away, well, by the time they start facing marriage or parenting, they start to realign.\u00a0 Do you think that\u2019s the solution?\u00a0 Just get them married and get them to have kids, and we\u2019ll be okay?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it isn\u2019t that simple.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking back to a passage of Scripture that I\u2019ve mentioned many times here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, Third John 4, \u201cI have no greater joy than this than to know that my children are walking in the truth.\u201d\u00a0 When they do have their own children, all of a sudden that question, \u201cWhat are my kids going to believe?\u00a0 What will they embrace?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cWhat direction am I going to point them in?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the worldview?\u00a0 What\u2019s the basis?\u201d\u00a0 So, you look around and you go, \u201cDo I want them to go to secular humanists or study humanism as a basis for their faith?\u00a0 Do I want them to go to a cult; or would I like them to, perhaps, go back to the Christian community, the church, and study the Bible\u2014see what it has to say?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, we have a couple of guests here, Drew Dyck and Rob Rienow, who have made some significant contributions to this area.\u00a0 Rob, Drew, welcome back to the broadcast.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you so much.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Drew is a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary.\u00a0 I\u2019ll forgive him for that, as a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 He is a managing editor at CT, <em>Christianity Today<\/em>, for leadership journal.\u00a0 He and his wife Grace live near Chicago.\u00a0 He is the author of a book called <em>Generation Ex-Christian<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRob Rienow, along with his wife Amy, are founders of Visionary Parenting\u2014just started that this past February.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been married since 1994.\u00a0 They have their own vision for parenting with six children and live near Chicago.\u00a0 He is the author of <em>When They Turn Away<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRob, I want to ask you about a couple that you write about in the book.\u00a0 Bob talked about children wandering away from the faith, drifting away from the faith.\u00a0 You use an illustration of a couple that you call Michael and Jenny who couldn\u2019t have children.\u00a0 They ultimately had to adopt to have children.\u00a0 Their forever-ever-after, happy story didn\u2019t turn out quite as happy as they wished it would; did it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\u00a0 For couples that struggle with infertility, and the desire to have children, and for whatever reason the Lord closes that door, it is an excruciating process.\u00a0 So, thank God for adoption.\u00a0 Thank God for foster care and all these different ways that God lets Christians care for little ones.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis particular couple went that route of adoption, and God blessed them with a couple of children.\u00a0 As time went on, things got darker, and darker, and darker.\u00a0 As their son wentin to the teen years\u2014didn\u2019t just hit kind of your normal rebellion (if you want to call it normal, I don\u2019t even like to use that term).\u00a0 Got involved into some dangerous things with drugs, dangerous things with violence, and then, ended up in prison due to some sexual crimes with a minor.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou talk about dreams of parenthood getting shattered.\u00a0 You wait so long for this opportunity; and, now, you have a child that has been convicted of sexual crimes and in prison.\u00a0 The amount of crying themselves to sleep over the years during that whole saga was just unbelievable.\u00a0 They never gave up this vision and calling that they knew that God had brought them into this young man\u2019s life in order to be a blessing to him, in order to ultimately point him toward Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFrom prison, then, the time comes where he starts to turn his heart back to home, starts to turn his heart back to his parents.\u00a0 His parents start writing these letters of encouragement, these letters of blessing.\u00a0 \u201cThere is hope for you.\u00a0 We love you.\u00a0 There\u2019s hope because Jesus really did die on the cross and really did rise again from the dead.\u201d\u00a0 He comes to Christ in prison; and, now, has paid his debt and is beginning to walk with Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSome of these stories take a long, long time.\u00a0 These stories of redemption\u2014we wish they were quick and there was a magic formula:\u00a0 \u201cYou do one, two, three, four; and everything is going to work out great;\u201d but some of these journeys that God has us on are long marathons.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You told us before we came into the studio that you and your wife are holding conferences for empty nesters; and that you\u2019re seeing a growing number of adult parents, whose children are out of the house, who are experiencing the heartache of a child who has left the faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A few moments ago, you shared that Third John 4 Scripture that, \u201cI have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking with the truth.\u201d\u00a0 I think the opposite is true.\u00a0 No greater sorrow for a Christian man or woman when one of our own children is far from God.\u00a0 The statistics on this are just awful.\u00a0 Somewhere, depending on the study you look at, 60-80 percent of kids growing up in our churches today are leaving the faith.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA lot of times, we just sort of focus on those statistics\u2014we focus on the young adults; but the truth is for the vast majority of them\u2014those prodigal children have parents in the church.\u00a0 Sometimes, we might even go in and say, \u201cYou know, were losing 75 percent of kids to the world.\u201d\u00a0 You don\u2019t understand that you\u2019re talking to people, and that is their greatest source of pain in the whole world.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn our ministry, we\u2019ve found in our research in churches, that two out of three of our empty nest parents in our Christian churches have at least one child who is far from God.\u00a0 I think it is so painful that hardly anybody talks about it.\u00a0 You get a prayer request here and there, \u201cPray for my son\u2019s job; he\u2019s struggling.\u00a0 Pray for my daughters marriage; she\u2019s hurting.\u201d\u00a0 Rarely, do you get the prayer request, \u201cMy son\u2019s not saved; pray for his salvation,\u201d because that\u2019s too hard.\u00a0 It hurts too much.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, as we, then, are going in and saying, \u201cLook, you\u2019re not alone.\u00a0 It\u2019s never too late for God to use you to bless your adult children and point them toward Christ.\u201d\u00a0 The response that we are seeing is overwhelming.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Drew, you may be aware of this.\u00a0 We did an interview a number of years ago with John Piper.\u00a0 He was telling us about one of his kids who had wandered during his college years.\u00a0 I\u2019ll never forget Dr. Piper saying that he wrote an email or a letter to his son everyday during that period of time and just loved on him.\u00a0 By the grace of God, the prodigal came home at one point.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI thought that had to be a hard season\u2014not just because his son was away\u2014but just to get up the\u2014just to come to the typewriter every day and say, \u201cSon, love you; thinking about you; praying for you.\u00a0 Here is what\u2019s going on in our heart.\u201d\u00a0 There had to be days where he thought, \u201cThis is worthless.\u00a0 This isn\u2019t making any difference.\u00a0 I\u2019m probably\u2014\u201d He got no response from his son during this time, but he just kept faithfully reaching out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 When it comes to this topic, because hopelessness is such a big problem, I really encourage parents to take the long view.\u00a0 It isn\u2019t a sprint.\u00a0 It is a marathon.\u00a0 That is not to say that the problem isn\u2019t urgent or important; but you really need to keep faith.\u00a0 How many stories have we heard of the faithful parent or grandparent that prayed for years, even decades, only to see this stubborn person finally come back to Christ?\u00a0 We\u2019ve all been blessed by those stories.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes.\u00a0 Don\u2019t give up.\u00a0 You can\u2019t overstate the importance of prayer on this topic.\u00a0 Ultimately, it\u2019s God working in their hearts that does it.\u00a0 I\u2019m convinced we can give our loved ones who have strayed no greater gift than spending time on our knees in the presence of God on their behalf.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I was doing these interviews with people who had walked away from the faith, something really surprised me.\u00a0 My wife actually suggested that I start asking a kind of absurd question, at least it seemed absurd.\u00a0 She said, \u201cAsk them if they ever still pray.\u201d\u00a0 We\u2019re talking about people who had left, very bitter against their faith, against their parents, against the church\u2014some even self-described atheists.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlmost to a person, they admitted maybe in hard times, in times of doubt about their doubt, they broke down and would utter a prayer.\u00a0 I asked them, \u201cWhat do those prayers sound like?\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s when they spill out these honest, desperate, angry prayers, \u201cGod, where are You?\u00a0 Have You abandoned me?\u00a0 Do You exist?\u00a0 Do You care?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat it showed me\u2014because it was pretty discouraging hearing story after story of these kids leaving the faith, leaving the church\u2014what it showed me is that there were spiritual signs of life.\u00a0 That was heartening, really, to see that God was at work in their hearts, even when they seem so far from God.\u00a0 It takes the pressure, I think, off us, too.\u00a0 Yes, we have to be proactive.\u00a0 We have to reach out to them, but all of our efforts are merely getting behind what God is already doing in their lives.\u00a0 God is at work.\u00a0 Don\u2019t give up.\u00a0 Don\u2019t give up.\u00a0 Keep pushing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Having been there with one of our children who did not do well for a number of seasons, hopelessness is a great term.\u00a0 It\u2019s interesting, as a parent, all the emotions you go through.\u00a0 You move internally looking at the mistakes you\u2019ve made, questioning what you didn\u2019t do right, what you did wrong, what the \u201ccould-a, should-a, ought-a, would-a,\u201d all the questions.\u00a0 Yet, that is a futile exercise.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tRob, in your book, you talk about how you found two types of parents\u2014one who took 100 percent responsibility for their children\u2019s response and loss of faith, and the other who took no responsibility at all.\u00a0 Explain what you found as you\u2019ve talked to those of us as parents who have experienced a child who has left the faith for a period of time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you talk to a lot of moms and dads, like you said, in that first category, who are just beating themselves up.\u00a0 They wallow in every mistake they ever made.\u00a0 They replay the tapes over and over again, \u201cIf only, if only, if only, if only.\u201d\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing inherently wrong with taking stock of the past, identifying, \u201cHere\u2019s some things I did wrong.\u00a0 Lord, I repent.\u201d\u00a0 You know?\u00a0 Nothing wrong with that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI kind of use the analogy of, \u201cLook, if you\u2019re pulling out onto the highway, you\u2019re going to take a <em>glance<\/em> in the rearview mirror; but not much more than a glance because if you are staring in the rearview mirror while you\u2019re pulling into traffic, that\u2019s not\u2014you\u2019ve got to have your eyes forward.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe end result of that sort of wallowing in the past, the Enemy uses that to just <em>pile <\/em>on the guilt.\u00a0 That guilt, then, leads you to passivity.\u00a0 As a result, those parents that are overwhelmed with the past, they are not doing anything<em> now<\/em> to reach out to their child because they are living with the wallow of the past.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, on the other side, again, I talk to a lot of folks, not trying to be critical, but they have the attitude of, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 Kids are going to make their choices.\u00a0 We did the best we could.\u00a0 We raised them in a good environment, and I don\u2019t bear any responsibility whatsoever for the way my kid turned out.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou want to be gentle in how you encourage folks like that.\u00a0 The idea there is that faithfulness and parenting has absolutely no correlation to how our children turn out, and I don\u2019t buy that.\u00a0 You do see that in the Bible these principles\u2014we reap what we sow, and generational patterns, and things like that; but are we completely responsible for how our kids turn out?\u00a0 Of course not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMatter of fact, Ezekiel 18\u2014it\u2019s this whole chapter on\u2014just because the father is a godly person, does not mean the son is going to be a godly person.\u00a0 Just because the son is a godly person, doesn\u2019t mean the father is going to be a godly person.\u00a0 In other words, at the end of the day, God does deal with us as individuals.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And at the end of the day, our children have to grow up and have their own faith.\u00a0 They have to make their own choices.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some of the ways their going to learn to have faith and make right choices is by making wrong ones.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You will see this same mom and dad raise six kids, and one of them will spin out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The other five are doing fine.\u00a0 At some level, you got to say the incubator\u2014all the ingredients in the incubator were the same\u2014that child responded differently, or mom and dad didn\u2019t engage with that child according to their bent, or <em>something<\/em> went wrong there; right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think I\u2019m on a minority position on the, \u201cincubator was the same.\u201d\u00a0 I think every child is born into a different family.\u00a0 What I mean by that is that the parents have changed and grown from the time the first child was present or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No doubt about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 One child has siblings; the others don\u2019t.\u00a0 It\u2019s not that it\u2019s radically different, but it sure has changed.\u00a0 So, I parent my one-year-old and my three-year-old very differently than I parented my 13-year-old and 11-year-old when they were one and three because of how I\u2019ve changed and grown over the years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think, what you are saying, I completely agree with that.\u00a0 At the end of the day, children are going to choose whether they are going to embrace their parents\u2019 faith or not.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t like this term, \u201cMake their faith their own.\u201d\u00a0 People use that all the time, where they have to <em>choose<\/em> faith for themselves.\u00a0 As if they are choosing\u2014\u201cWell, my parents were going this way.\u00a0 I\u2019m making my faith my own, and I\u2019m going this way.\u201d\u00a0 I want my children to <em>receive <\/em>the faith that I\u2019m passing down to them.\u00a0 I want them to not do it exactly like me (that\u2019s not what I mean), but I want them to take what I\u2019m giving them and love God more than Dad.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want them to take everything Dad knows about the Bible and believe it more and know it more.\u00a0 I want them to take the Gospel further than me.\u00a0 I\u2019m not looking for them to chart their own course.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t chart my own course.\u00a0 I received the faith as it was passed down to me.\u00a0 So, I think even that term of, \u201cMake their faith their own,\u201d implies this fresh direction.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We talk about it in terms of making it a spiritual hand-off\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014like a relay race.\u00a0 At some point, they do have to reach out and say, \u201cI\u2019m going to grab that baton\u2014\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201c\u2014and I\u2019m going to run with it.\u201d\u00a0 So, it\u2019s not that they are inventing their own faith\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s not a new baton.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s the baton that was passed to us, and we\u2019ve bumbled and stumbled with it.\u00a0 Now, we want to pass it to them and ask them to bumble and stumble less than we did.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 One of the things both of you write about in your books\u2014I\u2019d just like to take a few minutes here, just get your best coaching and advice for parents, for grandparents, on how to respond to someone who has \u201cleft the faith,\u201d \u201cdrifted away,\u201d is \u201ca prodigal.\u201d\u00a0 How do we best respond to them as they are going through this season, or in some cases decades, of wandering away from God?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the first thing I\u2019d advise, is make sure that that relationship stays healthy\u2014that the lines of communication are open.\u00a0 Sometimes, we can overreact and cause this person to push us away.\u00a0 When that happens, then, we are deprived of future opportunities to speak into their life.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere will be those moments down the road\u2014those moments of heightened receptivity, where they, maybe, hit a low point or something changes in their life\u2014and they\u2019ll want to have that spiritual conversation\u2014then, just making those gentle, persistent in-roads into their life. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Rob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things I\u2019m convinced of is that\u2014in the Bible, as it gives instructions to parents, that those instructions don\u2019t <em>expire<\/em> when your kids leave the home.\u00a0 The principles that we find there, even though they are not magic formulas\u2014it\u2019s not, \u201cOne, two, three, four, do this, and everything is going to work,\u201d\u2014but there are principles that, no matter what stage of life you\u2019re in, that you can apply.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe four that we walk through with parents\u2014I\u2019ll do them briefly.\u00a0 The first one is offer your heart to the Lord.\u00a0 In Deuteronomy 6, we find the great commandment, where it is, \u201cLove the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength.\u00a0 These commands I give you are to be upon your hearts.\u201d\u00a0 After all of that, comes the command, \u201cimpress them on your children.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother biblical principle is from Malachi 4 and Luke 1 of turning your heart to your child.\u00a0 This is a very powerful principle of basically asking God to make it the mission and passion of your life to help your children get safely home to heaven.\u00a0 I think there are some barriers there that parents face.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI would encourage you\u2014a lot of you may be in this situation, where your children have done things that have deeply hurt you.\u00a0 As a result of that hurt (we don\u2019t like to admit it), you actually have a lot of bitterness and anger toward your own children because of the choices they have made.\u00a0 Maybe they\u2019ve said horrific things to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI remember telling my mother I hated her once in a moment of anger.\u00a0 I was able to ask for forgiveness for that, and we worked through it.\u00a0 What a horrible thing for a parent to have to hear from a child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe Enemy wants to use the hurt that you\u2019ve experienced from your child to get you bitter.\u00a0 If you are bitter and angry toward your child, that\u2019s going to be a ball and chain around your ability to reach them for Christ.\u00a0 So, if there is baggage there, you need to ask God to give you the grace to forgive them, to work through that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe third principle is drawing your child\u2019s heart to yours.\u00a0 That comes from \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProverbs 23:26, \u201cMy son, give me your heart.\u201d\u00a0 Now, in Christian life, we usually talk about giving your heart to Jesus.\u00a0 I don\u2019t mean to trample on that sacred phrase, but you won\u2019t find that in the Bible anywhere.\u00a0 People use that phrase to mean, \u201cTrust Christ,\u201d or, \u201cGive your heart to Christ,\u201d (I understand that).\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the Bible, you find this phrase that God wants children to give their hearts to their parents.\u00a0 God wants children and parents to have a heart connection with one another.\u00a0 This is what Drew has been talking about\u2014of restoring your relationship with your child\u2014is the precursor to having spiritual influence with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, seeking to understand where they are at, communicating respect for where they are, communicating to them that they are allowed to disagree with you, they are allowed to have a different life.\u00a0 They are allowed that you\u2019re going to love them no matter what.\u00a0 \u201cThere is nothing you can do that\u2019s going to make me love you any less.\u00a0 There is nothing you can do to make me love you any more.\u201d\u00a0 Children need to hear those things.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, the fourth principle\u2014so, it\u2019s offer your heart to the Lord; turn your heart to your child; draw your child\u2019s heart to yours\u2014then, finally, point your child\u2019s heart to Christ.\u00a0 On that one, I just encourage you, \u201cDo not be ashamed of the Gospel.\u201d\u00a0 The Bible says in Romans that the Gospel is the <em>power <\/em>of God unto salvation for everyone who believes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s worth the risk.\u00a0 Your child\u2019s soul is worth the risk.\u00a0 It\u2019s worth the risk of all these awkward conversations.\u00a0 It\u2019s worth the risk of rejection.\u00a0 It\u2019s worth the risk of getting hurt again as you try to reach out to your child because their soul is worth it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>You\u2019ve both said it in different ways, but all roads lead back home to the mom and dad or the single parent who is raising the next generation.\u00a0 In the imperfect condition of your family, you still have the responsibility to open the Book, teach the Book to your children, and <em>live<\/em> the Book out in front of your children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, importantly, pray and go before the Lord God Almighty when your child begins to drift or if they wander away from the faith.\u00a0 Ask God for favor.\u00a0 Ask God to protect that little one\u2019s soul, their steps.\u00a0 Beseech God to go ahead of you and surround those children as they grow up with the right kinds of influences, that they\u2019ll encounter others who call them to step up in their faith for Christ when you\u2019re not there because you can\u2019t always be there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d to both of you for your books.\u00a0 I think they are going to be used by God to encourage a lot of people to better understand what\u2019s happening to a generation who is leaving the faith.\u00a0 Also\u2014I think most importantly\u2014assume their responsibility as parents and grandparents in the lives of the next generation.\u00a0 Thank you, guys.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things I think our listeners are going to appreciate about the books that you guys have written is that you don\u2019t just offer an analysis or diagnosis of what\u2019s going on in the culture, but you really do give us some very practical wisdom to help us understand what we can do preventively as our children are growing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, also, help us understand how we interact with young people who have kind of said, \u201cThat\u2019s not for me anymore.\u201d\u201d\u00a0 How do we have conversations with those folks, and how do we represent Christ in that setting?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to encourage our listeners to get copies of both of your books.\u00a0 Drew has written the book, <em>Generation Ex-Christian<\/em>.\u00a0 Rob has written a book called <em>When They Turn Away<\/em>.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got both of those books in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go to FamilyLifeToday.com for more information about how you can order either or both of those books.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can order from us online if you\u2019d like.\u00a0 Again, that\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free.\u00a0 The number is 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and, then, the word, \u201cTODAY\u201d.\u00a0 Get in touch with us.\u00a0 Let us know which of those books you\u2019d like, and we\u2019ll get them out to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI had the opportunity, recently, to be with some of our listeners.\u00a0 I was travelling, actually, on the west coast.\u00a0 It was in San Diego and, then, in Seattle\u2014met with pastors and, then, with a number of our radio listeners.\u00a0\u00a0 It is always encouraging for me to hear from folks about how God is using the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in their own lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tParticularly, encouraging to hear pastors who talk about how they\u2019re grateful for this program or how they\u2019ve partnered with FamilyLife in helping to maybe host an <em>Art of Marriage<\/em>\u00ae event at their church, or to take a group of folks from their church to a <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaway, or use our <em>Homebuilder<\/em>\u00ae studies.\u00a0 We really do hope that what we\u2019re doing here at FamilyLife can help strengthen and support the local church.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know from time to time you\u2019ll hear us talk about our financial needs here on FamilyLife.\u00a0 I want to make sure you understand that we believe that your first priority, when it comes to giving, ought to be your local church.\u00a0 That\u2019s the first place that you ought to be considering as you make financial contributions or gifts.\u00a0 As you are able, beyond that, to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>, we so much appreciate it.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact, this month, we\u2019d like to send you a thank-you gift for your financial support.\u00a0 It is a copy of a book Barbara Rainey has written\u2014a devotional guide for families called <em>Growing Together in Gratitude<\/em>.\u00a0 Barbara recounts seven stories in this book that are designed to be read aloud to families at the dinner hour or in family devotions.\u00a0 All of these stories reminding us of how we can cultivate a heart of gratitude and why we ought to be thankful, as followers of Christ.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlong with the book, we will send two Thanksgiving prayer cards to you.\u00a0 Again, we are so appreciative of your financial support of this ministry.\u00a0 Thanks for listening and thanks for donating to keep <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on this station and our network of stations all across the country.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us tomorrow.\u00a0 John Fuller, who is the co-host of <em>Focus on the Family<\/em>, is going to be here.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about the experience of being a first-time dad.\u00a0 John has just written a new book on that subject.\u00a0 It\u2019ll be a treat to have him here with us.\u00a0 Hope you can be back as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today\u2014his name is Keith Lynch\u2014and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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