{"id":302392,"date":"2011-11-01T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-11-01T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/faith-begins-at-home\/"},"modified":"2011-11-01T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-11-01T15:00:00","slug":"faith-begins-at-home","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/faith-begins-at-home\/","title":{"rendered":"Faith Begins at Home"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why are so many young people leaving the faith?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-11-01.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"25.03M","filesize_raw":"26241250","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2821],"tags":[4722,4159,5182],"podcast_series":[7836],"cwp_profile":[9246,9244],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302392","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reaching-out","tag-christianity","tag-gospel","tag-prodigal","podcast_series-generation-ex-christian","cwp_profile-drew-dyck","cwp_profile-rob-rienow","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302392\/faith-begins-at-home","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302392\/faith-begins-at-home","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"ivrJUY1gF0\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/faith-begins-at-home\/\">Faith Begins at Home<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/faith-begins-at-home\/embed\/#?secret=ivrJUY1gF0\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Faith Begins at Home&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"ivrJUY1gF0\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Why are so many young people leaving the faith?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-11-01.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Do you know a young person who has put his or her faith on hold for a while or maybe walked away from it altogether?\u00a0 Here\u2019s counsel from author and researcher Drew Dyck about how to engage that person in a spiritual dialogue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 My grandfather has an incredible saying.\u00a0 He says, \u201cPeople learn spiritual truth through atmosphere, not arguments.\u201d\u00a0 I think that\u2019s <em>especially<\/em> true of the younger generation.\u00a0 So when you\u2019re dealing with someone who has this post-modern mindset, don\u2019t bust out the apologetics, not up front anyway.\u00a0 That\u2019s not your hill to die on right away.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou want to start by talking about Jesus, by <em>inviting<\/em> them to come into the family of God and serve because they want to <em>experience<\/em> truth rather than reason their way there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Tuesday, November 1<sup>st<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 How do we present the Gospel to a generation that has heard it, at some level embraced it, and then walked away?\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We live in a culture that is influenced by theological pluralism\u2014\u201cThere are lots of ways to get to God,\u201d and by moral relativism\u2014which is, \u201cWhat\u2019s right is right if it feels right to you.\u00a0 There\u2019s no absolute sense of right and wrong.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI guess I\u2019m sitting here wondering, \u201cWhich of those two is exerting the <em>greater<\/em> influence on our children\u2019s thinking?\u00a0 Are they drifting <em>morally<\/em> or drifting <em>theologically<\/em> when they start to drift away from the faith?\u201d\u00a0 Which do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let\u2019s ask our guests.\u00a0 Let\u2019s see what they say.\u00a0 Drew Dyck and Rob Rienow join us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 I\u2019ll introduce you in just a second; but first of all, Rob, how would you answer Bob\u2019s question?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think a lot of it can get traced back to some relational brokenness that comes either in the church life or in the home life.\u00a0 In our last program, we talked about how God creates moms and dads, and grandmas and grandpas to spiritually connect with their children at home.\u00a0 You talked, Dennis, about how you remember, in the church context, your mother reading the Bible, your father reading the Bible, and believing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right; living it out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And living it out, yes.\u00a0 Comparatively speaking, very few Christian young people today ever see a mother or father open up God\u2019s Word, read it and believe it with all their heart, and then live it out.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe live in this age of delegation parenting.\u00a0 You have to get all the experts together.\u00a0 If you want them to learn basketball, you get them a coach; piano, you get them a teacher; Jesus, you get them a youth pastor; and you just drive the minivan.\u00a0 You just drop them off at all the experts, and they\u2019ll take care of it.\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s fine for basketball and it is fine for piano and all those things; but when it comes to spiritual training\u2014this idea of delegating that to someone else\u2014we\u2019re seeing tragic results.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So back to Bob\u2019s question.\u00a0 Is it a moral issue or a theological issue? \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s both.\u00a0 It\u2019s really both.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you\u2019re saying it\u2019s traced back to the family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, it\u2019s traced back to the family because there\u2019s a lack of sometimes moral grounding in the home, and there\u2019s a lack of theological grounding in the home.\u00a0 We tend to blame the church for all this stuff; but when you look in the Bible and you say, \u201cWell where do children get trained and discipled?\u201d the answer is home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Drew, what about you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Before I did my research\u2014when I\u2019d ask people inside the church\u2014\u201cWhy do young people leave the faith?\u00a0 What happens in those circumstances?\u201d\u2014the answer I would hear, or a variation of it was, \u201cmoral compromise.\u201d\u00a0 That is, \u201cA kid goes off to college, maybe moves in with his girlfriend, or someone goes off and starts to party, and then all of a sudden they have this problem.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTheir creed doesn\u2019t match their conduct; and so there\u2019s this\u2014psychologists would call cognitive dissonance, where you have these two competing values.\u00a0 Often\u2014let\u2019s face it\u2014it\u2019s easier to drop your faith commitment and to live the way you want to live.\u00a0 I think that moral compromise does play a role more than most of these young people would like to admit.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDuring the course of my interviews, I only had two people that were honest enough to come clean and say, \u201cHey, listen.\u00a0 I wanted to smoke pot, and party, and engage in a lifestyle that was contrary to Christian teachings, so I dropped my faith commitment.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHowever, sometimes I do believe that there are worldview issues that are inculcated by the culture, even sometimes from inside the church, which is especially tragic, which holds that there isn\u2019t an absolute truth or it\u2019s bigoted, perhaps, to claim the exclusivity of Christ in some of these key doctrines of the faith.\u00a0 So those wear on people\u2019s faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSometimes it\u2019s really not an either\/or, but both\/and.\u00a0 If you\u2019re morally compromising, and you find it\u2019s easier to ditch your Christian commitment, and at the same time you\u2019re having doubts, and you\u2019ve embraced a worldview that\u2019s at odds with your Christian faith, that\u2019s a powerful one-two punch; and it wreaks havoc on someone\u2019s faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Drew, you\u2019ve written a book called <em>Generation Ex-Christian<\/em>.\u00a0 Rob, you\u2019ve written a book, <em>When They Turn Away<\/em>.\u00a0 Both of you are talking about a generation of young people who are leaving the roots of their Christianity, walking away in many cases from the church, never to come back again\u2014it appears.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of the things that struck me as I was reading your book, Drew, was a comment you made about young people today becoming cynical and not believing that there is a <em>big <\/em>story.\u00a0 You called it a meta-story; that there is no overarching story that compels us to faith.\u00a0 Back to what Bob was talking about, there is moral relativism; and everyone has a story, \u201cYou believe what you believe.\u00a0 I believe what I believe,\u201d but there is no big story that commands trust and faith.\u00a0 Explain that further to our listeners.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 This is really a tenet of postmodernism.\u00a0 I know that\u2019s a mouthful.\u00a0 Postmodernism means a lot of things to a lot of people, and it means different things in different fields.\u00a0 But as a worldview, someone summed it up best by saying, \u201cIt is incredulity toward metanarratives.\u201d\u00a0 Another mouthful, I realize, but basically these people are <em>skeptical<\/em> about big stories.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBy big stories, I mean the story of the American dream, \u201cYou work hard; you\u2019ll be successful.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a metanarrative.\u00a0 Of course, at the heart of Christianity is a metanarrative.\u00a0 It\u2019s the metanarrative of God\u2019s good creation, of the fall, of the redemption, and then the ultimate culmination in Christ\u2019s return.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPostmodern thinkers are very skeptical about these big stories, and their beef with these big stories is that they say they tend to neglect the little people.\u00a0 You talk to a postmodern thinker about the founding of the United States; they\u2019ll remind you about the cruel conquest of the natives.\u00a0 They\u2019ll talk about how women were marginalized, that kind of thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow this is a double-edged sword because\u2014I don\u2019t have to tell you\u2014first of all, this can be positive because I don\u2019t have to tell you how<em> full<\/em> the Bible is with commands to care for the marginalized\u2014Jesus\u2019 heart for women, the commands to care for orphans and widows.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen you\u2019re dealing with someone who has this postmodern mindset, don\u2019t bust out the apologetics, like I\u2019ve done, made the mistake\u2014not up front, anyway.\u00a0 That\u2019s not your hill to die on right away.\u00a0 You want to start by talking about Jesus, by <em>inviting<\/em> them to come into the family of God and serve because they want to <em>experience<\/em> truth rather than reason their way there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy grandfather has an incredible saying.\u00a0 He says, \u201cPeople learn spiritual truth through atmosphere, not arguments.\u201d\u00a0 I think that\u2019s especially true of the younger generation, especially those who have been so deeply impacted by postmodernism.\u00a0 They really need to have it be an experiential thing.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYes, down the road, you\u2019re going to have to have those hard conversations about the exclusivity of Christ\u2014about Jesus being the only way\u2014but up front, I think that\u2019s not the fight you want to pick at the outset.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But there is still this tension point, and I think we feel it in the culture\u2014all of us feel it.\u00a0 To assert the exclusivity of Jesus as <em>the<\/em> way to be right with God is essentially to say to a <em>whole bunch<\/em> of people on the face of the planet, \u201cYou\u2019re in the <em>wrong way<\/em>.\u00a0 You\u2019re a <em>bad person.<\/em>\u00a0 You\u2019re headed in the wrong direction, and I <em>know<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s almost an arrogance.\u00a0 We feel arrogant in asserting it.\u00a0 We feel unloving and uncharitable.\u00a0 So a lot of young people, a lot of people in their 20s are going, \u201cI\u2019m not going to go there.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to be exclusive.\u201d\u00a0 You get pastors writing books that are basically saying, \u201cYou don\u2019t need to worry about being exclusive.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s where I wanted to go, too.\u00a0 It\u2019s easy to talk about all this relative pluralism out there in the world.\u00a0 We ought to expect it there; it\u2019s always been there.\u00a0 My concern is that it\u2019s in the church.\u00a0 In the 20<sup>th<\/sup> Century, you saw an increasing level of experiential Christianity, \u201cI love Jesus, and I know He\u2019s close to me because of how I felt when I was singing the other day,\u201d and increasingly a disconnection from the Bible in the church service.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI have a lot of compassion for young people who say, \u201cMy church was squishy, and wishy-washy, and hypocritical,\u201d because what happens is, you ask the congregation, \u201cHow many of you believe the Bible is God\u2019s Word?\u201d\u00a0 Well, everybody\u2019s hands go up.\u00a0 \u201cSure.\u00a0 Okay, we believe that.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cHow many of you believe the Bible is completely true?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cOh, yes, Pastor, absolutely.\u00a0 The Bible is completely true.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cHow many of you are willing to submit your thoughts on every subject to what it says?\u201d\u00a0 About half the hands go up at that point.\u00a0 Then the last question, \u201cHow many of you are willing to do what it says, even if you don\u2019t want to?\u201d\u00a0 Then you get a quarter of the hands there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOn the last one, I\u2019m not talking about willful disobedience.\u00a0 We all are familiar with that:\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cI know the Bible says this.\u00a0 I know the Bible is right; I\u2019m going to do it anyway.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m talking about:\u00a0 \u201cI know the Bible talks about giving ten percent of my money to the Lord, but that was written a long time ago.\u00a0 I\u2019m not so sure that\u2019s relevant for today.\u201d \u201cI know the Bible has this sexual ethic, but that was written a long time ago.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to do what I want.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe talk about having a <em>new<\/em> kind of Christian today.\u00a0 To me, there\u2019s a <em>new<\/em> kind of Christian we saw in the last 100 years\u2014a person who says, \u201cI love Jesus, but I don\u2019t completely believe the Bible.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s a new deal and we\u2019ve got churches <em>fueling<\/em> it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Rob, I couldn\u2019t agree with you more.\u00a0 As I was reading both what Drew wrote and you wrote, <em>repeatedly<\/em> in your books you\u2019re using the illustration of the breakdown of the family:\u00a0 in some cases, divorce; in some cases, the absence of a father; in some cases, like your situation, Rob, your mother was your father\u2019s fourth wife?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, and my father was my mother\u2019s second husband.\u00a0 Divorce has just decimated our family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And your father went on and had affairs that blew up that marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So we have a generation of young people\u2014and Bob, I can\u2019t remember the young lady we had in here, but she was tying this skepticism that you guys are writing about to the lack of seeing authenticity, of seeing a practical outworking of faith at home among our parents as being a contributor to young people leaving the faith today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I believe that God\u2019s heart, as you were saying a few moments before, Dennis, when it comes to the Great Commission\u2014I believe that that mission begins with the souls of the little ones.\u00a0 I think God has a multi-generational vision for the Gospel, and mission one are these little ones that God has entrusted to our care in our homes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOne of his primary attack points\u2014and this is something you guys talk about all the time\u2014in order to prevent the Gospel from moving multi-generationally, Satan wants to break the heart connection between husbands and wives.\u00a0 This is what Malachi 2 is all about.\u00a0 Malachi 2:16, \u201cGod hates divorce.\u00a0 God hates divorce.\u00a0 God hates divorce.\u201d\u00a0 Christians kind of pound the pulpit on that, and I get that from my family\u2019s standpoint.\u00a0 I understand the pain of that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what I feel like we need to do is to back up two verses where it explains why.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the big deal?\u00a0 Why is it so critical that husbands and wives are one in their spirit?\u201d\u00a0 The Bible answers the question in verse 15\u2014because God is seeking godly offspring.\u00a0 \u201cSo guard yourself in your spirit.\u00a0 Do not break faith with the wife of your youth.\u00a0 I hate divorce,\u201d says the Lord.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe all know this from working with families.\u00a0 \u201cWhat\u2019s the big deal with divorce?\u201d\u00a0 Well, it oftentimes robs faith from children, hardens their hearts toward the Lord, hardens their hearts toward the Gospel.\u00a0 The Enemy gets this huge victory.\u00a0 He\u2019s busted up a marriage, he\u2019s busted up a family, and he\u2019s robbed the next generation of faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo this is why this issue of what happens in our homes and where our children are coming out spiritually\u2014this is all connected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You actually use an illustration in your book of dominoes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it\u2019s not necessarily all that popular, but I think as you walk through the Scriptures God connects five things.\u00a0 We played with dominoes growing up; right?\u00a0 Kids today don\u2019t play with them because they don\u2019t have buttons or screens on them, but we know what they\u2019re like.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s actually real.\u00a0 You can touch it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can actually touch them.\u00a0 You set them up and you knock them down.\u00a0 If you make a mistake you have to do it again.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have an app for it on my phone.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But five things that I think God has got connected:\u00a0 One is that as the man goes, so goes the marriage.\u00a0 As the marriage goes, so goes the family.\u00a0 As the family goes, so goes the local church.\u00a0 And as the local church goes, so goes the nation and the Great Commission.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo if you\u2019re Satan and you want nations, and you want the Great Commission, and you want churches, where do you target your fire power?\u2014on men and on marriages.\u00a0 You break those two foundations, and you get all the rest of the stuff thrown in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPraise God that someone like me who comes from a broken home\u2014this is not a scientific formula:\u00a0 \u201cIf your parents get divorced, you\u2019re going to hate God.\u201d\u00a0 God is gracious and merciful.\u00a0 Jesus really did die on the cross, and He really did rise again from the dead, which means we can be set free from these horrific generational sins; but this is the battle that\u2019s going on.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Back to the dominoes.\u00a0 You\u2019re saying as the man falls, the marriage falls, so the children fall, the church falls, and ultimately the nation.\u00a0 What you just described is why I got involved at FamilyLife in 1976.\u00a0 I was working with youth; and I was going, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I\u2019m not going to the source of things.\u00a0 I\u2019m working with teenagers, but their parents are having an enormous impact on their lives.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your hour a week couldn\u2019t match what\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, my goodness.\u00a0 I would work with them for multi hours a week, and I would see the work that I\u2019d done undone in an evening by a family that\u2019s blowing up.\u00a0 So I think you\u2019re exactly right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know\u2014when I talk to parents\u2014first of all, I say, \u201cIf you have a prodigal\u2014a child that\u2019s left\u2014don\u2019t expect them to come back to Christ if your own spiritual life is a desert bed.\u00a0 So get serious about God yourself so that they see something to be jealous of.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was talking to a Malaysian evangelist named T.V. Thomas, and he had a great piece of advice.\u00a0 He said, \u201cEnjoy your faith.\u201d\u00a0 Sometimes the cruel irony about this whole topic is that we see a loved one walk away from the faith.\u00a0 We adopt this kind of dour demeanor when we\u2019re around them because, understandably, we\u2019re concerned; but they never see us enjoy our faith, and we need to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSecondly, there\u2019s some homework to be done because there are some intellectual issues at play.\u00a0 The kids I talked to said, almost to a person, when they expressed doubts, when they had questions, they either got trite answers, or none at all, or even shut down brutally.\u00a0 One young woman was slapped across the face.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Shamed.\u00a0\u00a0 Shamed for asking a question.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Shamed.\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or for having a doubt.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Drew:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly, and these were honest intellectual doubts.\u00a0 If you\u2019re a bright young person, you\u2019re going to have these.\u00a0 We all experience doubt.\u00a0 Like Augustine said, \u201cDoubt is a part of faith.\u201d\u00a0 So you have to do a little bit of homework.\u00a0 Again, this doesn\u2019t mean you have to become a scholar, but you have to be able to answer some questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tEven if you don\u2019t know how to answer a question, if you\u2019re talking to your child, they give you a question you don\u2019t know how to answer, you just say, \u201cHey, listen.\u00a0 That\u2019s a great question.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to find the answer.\u201d\u00a0 What that does is that not only shows that you\u2019re honest and transparent, but it models a concern for the truth.\u00a0 You\u2019ll get back to them with a good answer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd here\u2019s the great news.\u00a0 There are <em>excellent<\/em> answers to all these questions.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I have said to my kids over the years, \u201cYou\u2019re going to have doubts.\u00a0 I have doubts.\u00a0 There are times I\u2019m driving down the street and I\u2019m thinking, \u2018Okay, is this really real?\u00a0 Is the stuff I say I believe\u2014is it really real?\u2019\u201d\u00a0 To admit that is not to say that I\u2019m somehow wandering from the faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut then I say to my kids, \u201cEvery time I think that, I look over at a tree.\u00a0 As soon as I see the tree, I go, \u2018I\u2019m okay.\u2019\u00a0 The reason is because the collective intelligence of all humanity throughout all of history can\u2019t make one of those.\u00a0 We could try as hard as we want for as long as we want, and we can\u2019t make a tree; and yet they\u2019re all around us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere\u2019s something bigger.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt\u2019s kind of like\u2014okay\u2014back to your favorite quote from Tom Skinner\u2014I\u2019m going to quote it because you\u2019ve quoted it so often, I now know it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to see if you know it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He said, \u201cI spent a long time trying to come to grips with my doubts.\u00a0 When all of a sudden, I realized I\u2019d better come to grips with what I believe.\u00a0 This has moved me from the uncertainty of things I can\u2019t answer to the certainty of things I can\u2019t escape, and it\u2019s a wonderful\u201d\u2014 what is it?\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a wonderful\u201d\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a wonderful life.\u00a0 No.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s a great relief.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cAnd it\u2019s a great relief.\u201d\u00a0 I did pretty good on that quote; didn\u2019t I?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You did.\u00a0 You did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s right.\u00a0 There are going to be things in life\u2014you know what?\u00a0 The mysterious things belong to the Lord.\u00a0 Don\u2019t they?\u00a0 What is that? Deuteronomy 29:29 I think.\u00a0 There are mysteries that belong to the Lord, and we\u2019re never going to get them solved in this life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Parents, I think, really need to flip those kinds of conversations on the other side because let\u2019s say you have a child who says, \u201cI\u2019m not sure I really believe Jesus rose from the dead,\u201d or, \u201cI\u2019m not sure that the Bible is really legitimate,\u201d whatever it is.\u00a0 Now your first reaction to hear that, like you said, is to <em>freak out<\/em>.\u00a0 You know what I mean?\u00a0 \u201cOh, my goodness!\u00a0 I can\u2019t believe you said that!\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut what\u2019s happening in that situation\u2014yes, there\u2019s a serious concern about a child\u2019s doubt; but that child, that young adult, just took a significant risk with you.\u00a0 This is Proverbs 23:26.\u00a0 \u201cThey gave you their heart.\u201d\u00a0 They let you in to a dark place.\u00a0 They didn\u2019t have to say that to you.\u00a0 They could have just kept going to church with you, and smiling, and nodding, whatever.\u00a0 But they let you in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo one of the best things parents can say is, \u201cSon, I am so glad you said that to me.\u00a0 That means the world to me that you trusted me enough with that.\u00a0 Now help me understand that more.\u00a0 Tell me more about that, just ramble for a little while.\u00a0 Why have you been thinking about that?\u201d\u00a0 \u201cGive me your heart; give me your heart; give me your heart,\u201d\u2014which is creating the opposite of this poor gal getting slapped\u2014which is the safest place in the whole wide world is with your mother, with your father, with your grandmother, with your grandfather.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It goes back to what Drew was saying earlier.\u00a0 You have to be secure enough in your own faith and enjoying your own relationship with Jesus Christ so that when your son or daughter spouts off and says something that\u2019s filled with doubt that really does rock your boat, you don\u2019t show them that your boat is rocked.\u00a0 You just smile and say, \u201cYou know, I am so glad you trusted me,\u201d just like you said.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut at that point, you have got to have a faith that can be rocked but not shattered and a walk with Christ that\u2019s real, enjoying your relationship with Him and the time in Scripture, so that your kids see you handle difficulty, challenges, and maybe even hear you talk about your own doubt and your own times of wondering about, as you were quoting, Bob, the <em>mysteries<\/em> of God because we don\u2019t see it all or understand it all.\u00a0 If we did, we\u2019d be the fourth member of the Trinity.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think it\u2019s important for us, just as you\u2019re saying, to recognize the need to be authentic as we live out our faith with our children and not to try to cordon off those parts of our walk that are hard or confusing.\u00a0 In fact, both of you guys give that kind of counsel in the books that you\u2019ve written.\u00a0 Drew, you wrote the book, <em>Generation Ex-Christian;<\/em> and Rob, your book is called <em>When They Turn Away<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just want to commend these books to our listeners.\u00a0 I hope parents will get copies of these books and read through them together so that they can have a preventive mindset, a proactive mindset, as they raise their own children\u2014to help those children embrace an authentic Christianity.\u00a0 Only God can do a saving work in that child\u2019s heart, but we want to make sure that, as parents, we\u2019re representing what it means to have a relationship with Christ in an authentic way.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have copies of the book, <em>Generation Ex-Christian,<\/em> and the book, <em>When They Turn Away,<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 You can find out more about these books when you go to our website, which is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, it\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us for more information at 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-358-6329; and when you get in touch with us, we can answer any questions you have about the books or we can make arrangements to have these books sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are always encouraged when we hear from listeners who take a few minutes to jot us a note or go online and make a comment about our program.\u00a0 There\u2019s an opportunity to do that below the transcript of each day\u2019s program at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe got a note recently from a listener who said, \u201cI had set my radio on scan, where it stops for ten seconds at each station; and your program got my attention.\u00a0 So I pushed \u2018stop\u2019 on the scan button and I kept listening.\u201d\u00a0 This woman went on to say that her husband had recently confessed to having been involved in adultery, and she was trying to determine the right course of action for her to take.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn the course of that program, God spoke to her heart about the need to forgive her husband, and the need to attempt to reconcile that relationship, and try to rebuild what had been broken.\u00a0 She was writing just to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d and to let us know how God had used <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> in her life.\u00a0 That was a <em>great<\/em> encouragement to our team.\u00a0 We thank you when you share those kinds of stories with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we thank you as well when you get in touch with us from time to time to help support <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>We are listener-supported; and it\u2019s your donations that make it possible for this program to be on this station, on the internet, on our network of stations all across the country.\u00a0 We\u2019re grateful for those of you who do provide financial support.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, if you\u2019re able to help with a donation, we\u2019d like to send you as a thank-you gift Barbara Rainey\u2019s devotional book for families called <em>Growing Together in Gratitude.<\/em>\u00a0 Barbara recounts seven stories in this book that can be read aloud to the whole family, stories that reinforce the idea that we ought to be grateful, we ought to be thankful.\u00a0 We need to <em>cultivate<\/em> that character quality in our own hearts and in our children\u2019s hearts as well.\u00a0 This is our way of saying, \u201cThank you,\u201d to you for your support of the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like to make a donation, go online at FamilyLifeToday.com, and click the button that says, \u201cI Care.\u201d\u00a0 It will be easy to do from there, or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 When you make your donation over the phone, just mention that you\u2019d like Barbara\u2019s devotional on gratitude.\u00a0 Let me just say, \u201cThanks,\u201d again for your support.\u00a0 We do appreciate your partnership with us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back again with us tomorrow.\u00a0 Drew Dyck and Rob Rienow will be here once more.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to continue talking about what we can do as parents to help our children embrace an authentic walk with Christ that has roots, that doesn\u2019t cause them to waver in their early 20s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302392","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302392"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302392"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302392"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302392"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}