{"id":302381,"date":"2011-10-17T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-10-17T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/capturing-a-god-sized-vision\/"},"modified":"2011-10-17T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-10-17T15:00:00","slug":"capturing-a-god-sized-vision","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/capturing-a-god-sized-vision\/","title":{"rendered":"Capturing a God-sized Vision"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who gets the best of you?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-17.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24M","filesize_raw":"25165434","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2901],"tags":[4284,4868,4698],"podcast_series":[7832],"cwp_profile":[9244],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302381","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-husbands","tag-father","tag-husband","tag-manhood","podcast_series-visionary-marriage","cwp_profile-rob-rienow","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302381\/capturing-a-god-sized-vision","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302381\/capturing-a-god-sized-vision","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"canzewVvUu\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/capturing-a-god-sized-vision\/\">Capturing a God-sized Vision<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/capturing-a-god-sized-vision\/embed\/#?secret=canzewVvUu\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Capturing a God-sized Vision&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"canzewVvUu\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-17.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-17.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Rob Rienow was a seminary graduate.\u00a0 He was working as a youth pastor, trying to equip and encourage parents to have an impact in the lives of their children and to build strong families\u2014when all of a sudden, he had his own wake-up call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Basically, the Holy Spirit zeroed right in and said, \u201cRob, you have not woken up a single day of your married life with the front-burner thought that Amy\u2019s spiritual growth that day was your responsibility; and you\u2019ve never had the thought\u2014not one time\u2014that you shouldn\u2019t expect anything out of your wife that you\u2019re not intentionally investing into her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI expect her to be happy, and pleasant, and kind\u2014I mean, I like a happy wife as much as the next guy\u2014but if I, as her spiritual head, don\u2019t have a plan to nurture those things in her, how can I possibly expect those things out of her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 17<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today, Rob Rienow joins us to talk about the difference between being a Christian husband and having a vision for your marriage.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 How long after you\u2019d been married did you start to have a vision for your marriage?\u00a0 I mean, you didn\u2019t when you said, \u201cI do,\u201d right?\u00a0 You had a vision for the honeymoon!\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Did you have any vision for anything beyond that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a two-week vision for the honeymoon.\u00a0 Our honeymoon was one of the best of all time.\u00a0 I wish I could say that starting out our marriage I had the best vision for my marriage of all time, but I didn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So when did it come?\u00a0 Did it come when you were sitting in Dr. Hendricks\u2019 classes at Dallas Seminary?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say it started then.\u00a0 I would say Dr. Hendricks mentored me, coached me.\u00a0 There\u2019s no question about that.\u00a0 I think Don Meredith\u2014Don and Sally, who helped start FamilyLife back in 1976\u2014contributed to it.\u00a0 But I think it was really, Bob, when I got into the Book, the Bible, and began to take a look at the blueprints of Scripture and realize that marriage was not designed by God just so we could have our needs met.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There were noble, holy purposes for marriage that God had in mind when He created the institution.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think most people don\u2019t really understand how foundational and fundamental marriage and family is to God\u2019s purpose and plan for humankind on earth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the book of Genesis starts with a marriage, and the book of Revelation ends with a marriage.\u00a0 All throughout the Scriptures you see God\u2019s truth and His favor being passed down through generations\u2014or evil being passed down through generations.\u00a0 So, marriage and family are really important to what God is accomplishing on planet Earth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProverbs 24 makes it clear, \u201cBy wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.\u00a0 By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.\u201d\u00a0 We need wisdom to build our homes; we need understanding; we need knowledge.\u00a0 All of that comes from the Scriptures.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a friend here in the studio who\u2014well, I think he\u2019s a kindred spirit, Bob, what do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say so, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He has written a book called <em>Visionary Marriage<\/em>.\u00a0 His name is Rob Rienow.\u00a0 Rob, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s a pleasure to be with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Rob and his wife Amy have six children.\u00a0 They are the founders of Visionary Family Ministries.\u00a0 They live near Chicago, and he has written this book that is subtitled <em>Capture a God-sized Vision for Your Marriage.<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll just ask you what Bob just asked me.\u00a0 Did you have a God-sized vision\u2014I know the answer to this, by the way\u2014I read your book.\u00a0 Did you have a God-sized vision for your marriage, Rob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely not.\u00a0 Both my wife and I came to Christ when we were kids.\u00a0 I was in seminary and working at a church, and she was a committed Christian; but neither one of us had any sort of big-picture vision for why God created marriage and how the institution of marriage and this family-thing and children\u2014how any of that connected to His plan for the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the result of that in your marriage and in your family was\u2014?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the end result of it was that we started to build independent lives.\u00a0 I had a life and ministry and she had a life and ministry.\u00a0 Yes, we began to have children after three years and raise the kids, but we were not one-hearted.\u00a0 You know, in Genesis 2 you get the \u201cleave, cleave, and become one.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo you move out of your parents\u2019 house, you build a life together, and then you become one in mission and purpose.\u00a0 Now, of course, the world says you do it the other way.\u00a0 You become \u201cone\u201d first\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 --and then you build a life together, and then you move out of your parents\u2019 house.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But that\u2019s beside the point.\u00a0 We did the first two.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t live at home anymore, and we began to build a functional life together; but we were not unified around a single, Kingdom purpose.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even though you were in full-time ministry and proclaiming the truth about the gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We had really disconnected.\u00a0 I was thoroughly ignorant of the connection between God\u2019s creation of the family and His plan for the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you would say, working in a local church (and in a good local church) for a number of years\u2014most of the people in the local church don\u2019t have a big vision for marriage and family, do they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, even with the word \u201cministry.\u201d\u00a0 Let\u2019s say someone comes up to you and says, \u201cHey, Bob, how\u2019s ministry going these days?\u201d\u00a0 If you were to say, \u201cWell, let me tell you the ways I\u2019m trying to love and bless my wife,\u201d they would say, \u201cNo, no, I mean how are you volunteering at church?\u00a0 What are you doing with FamilyLife, or what\u2019s going on?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat word \u201cministry\u201d has been hijacked away from anything related to married life and family life.\u00a0 Or if someone says, \u201cHow are you doing making disciples and being a Great Commission Christian?\u201d\u00a0 If a father says, \u201cWell, let me tell you how I\u2019m reading the Bible with my daughter,\u201d it\u2019s almost like that doesn\u2019t count.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I remember Josh McDowell being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 He liked to say it in this provocative way.\u00a0 He said, \u201c<em>My <\/em>ministry is more important than my family,\u201d and then he said, \u201cand <em>my<\/em> number one ministry is with my wife and with my kids.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a way of kind of getting your attention but saying the same thing that you\u2019re saying.\u00a0 When did you have your \u201cAha\u201d moment around this idea that your marriage and your family needed to be, not just notched up a little bit on the priority level, but you really needed a recalibration of your whole life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It was the summer of 2003.\u00a0 I had been serving as the youth pastor at my church for about ten years or so.\u00a0 Amy and I had been married nine or ten years at that point.\u00a0 We had four children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you had asked me at that time, \u201cRob, what are your priorities in life as a Christian man?\u201d I would have told you, \u201cNumber one, my relationship with God\u2014top priority for me; number two, my relationship with my wife; number three, my relationship with my children; number four, my ministry at church and other people in my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot only that, in fact, I remember teaching and preaching on those priority lists\u2014saying, \u201cThis is the right way to live your life.\u201d\u00a0 The reason why I knew I lived that way\u2014I wasn\u2019t just preaching it.\u00a0 I was living it out\u2014because if my Senior Pastor called me on the phone and said, \u201cRob, I\u2019ve got a crisis;\u201d and the other phone rang and it was Amy and she said, \u201cI\u2019ve got a crisis,\u201d where would I go?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCome on, it\u2019s not a hard question\u2014crisis at work; crisis at home.\u00a0 Where am I going to go?\u00a0 I\u2019m a man of principle and priority here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019d go where the pastor told you to go\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, Bob.\u00a0 Dennis, come on, help us out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know that\u2019s not the right answer, but is that where you\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I would go home!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Would you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If I\u2019ve got a crisis at work and a crisis at home, there\u2019s <em>no question <\/em>in my mind.\u00a0 I\u2019m going home!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you played the part.\u00a0 You looked like you had the priority in place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 And over the course of that summer, God brought a lot of different things into my life.\u00a0 There was a question that the Holy Spirit kept needling me about related to all these priorities.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe question was, \u201cRob, what if there\u2019s no crisis?\u00a0 What if it\u2019s a normal day, normal week, normal month?\u00a0 What gets the best of your heart?\u00a0\u00a0 What gets the best of your passion, and your energy, and your leadership, and your vision, and your calling, and your calendar, and your checkbook?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose four really great-sounding priorities\u2014right\u2014God, spouse, children, others\u2014completely flipped.\u00a0 If there was <em>no<\/em> crisis, the best of my heart and the best of my life went to other people.\u00a0 As a pastor at a church, it went to the young people, and the marriages, and the families that I was caring about.\u00a0 Followed by my ministry at church, came my kids.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t an absent dad.\u00a0 I was physically around my children, although I can remember a time when my teenage son (he was three)\u2014we were walking to church; and he said, \u201cIs this where <em>you <\/em>live, Daddy?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not good\u2014funny\u2014I mean, we look back and laugh at it now, but it was a dagger\u2014just a dagger to the heart.\u00a0 The truth was that I had absolutely no plan whatsoever to disciple my own children.\u00a0 If you were fathers at Wheaton Bible Church, I had plans to disciple <em>your <\/em>children but <em>zero<\/em> spiritual leadership in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So when this dawned on you, when that question kept coming back\u2014which was, \u201cWhat if there\u2019s not a crisis?\u00a0 What\u2019s getting your attention and your focus?\u201d\u00a0 There was a point where that question kind of crushed you, didn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I can remember it very specifically.\u00a0 We were getting some work done on our house.\u00a0 So, we spent three or four months living at my wife\u2019s parents\u2019 house while this construction was getting done.\u00a0 I was listening to a message on fatherhood and cleaning a bathroom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>wasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely it was!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I thought so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 All of this came crashing down.\u00a0 I just broke down on that bathroom floor, on my knees and wept.\u00a0 I repented to the Lord and said, \u201cGod, would you please\u201d\u2014it was a strangely-phrased prayer\u2014\u201cWould you turn me into a Christian man?\u201d\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t that I wasn\u2019t saved; but,\u201cthat my heart would first be with You, then in my ministry to my wife, then in my ministry to my children, and then whatever is left over, I\u2019ll give to everybody else and serve the way You want me to serve.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSince that time, God has been answering that prayer in fits and starts.\u00a0 I keep turning my heart away from mission one and priority one.\u00a0 So, I keep repenting and keep turning back, and keep bumbling, and keep repenting, and keep turning back; but God has been so gracious.\u00a0 He has just transformed our family!\u00a0 He has transformed our home, transformed our marriage, and transformed our ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNone of the things that happened then through our family ministry at church and through our Visionary Family Ministries would have ever happened.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The initial wake-up call for you got you focused in on discipling your kids, but it took a little while longer before you started to address your relationship with your wife in the same level of priority, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 As He turned my heart to my children, some things started to happen for me.\u00a0 I started to wake up in the morning with the front-burner thought that my kids\u2019 spiritual growth that day was my responsibility.\u00a0 \u201cWhat was I going to do that day to nurture faith in them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thought that God kept bringing to my mind was that I shouldn\u2019t be expecting anything out of my children that I\u2019m not intentionally investing <em>into <\/em>them.\u00a0 In other words, I expect them to be happy, and pleasant, and joyful, and obedient.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know about you, but my kids didn\u2019t get that stuff at the factory.\u00a0 Maybe yours did.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI expect those things out of them\u2014Right?\u2014which is ultimately unfair.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 To expect things they don\u2019t have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How can I expect those things if I\u2019m not investing those things in?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, it was at a men\u2019s retreat for our church about three years after that\u2014where God took that level of repentance that needed to happen with my children and turned it to my marriage.\u00a0 Basically, the Holy Spirit zeroed right in and said, \u201cRob, you have not woken up a single day of your married life with the front-burner thought that Amy\u2019s spiritual growth that day was your responsibility and that you needed a plan to encourage her\u2014 that you needed a plan to bless her and you needed a plan to nurture her.\u00a0 And you\u2019ve never had the thought\u2014not one time\u2014that you shouldn\u2019t expect anything out of your wife that you\u2019re not intentionally investing into her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI expect her to be happy, and pleasant, and kind\u2014I mean, I like a happy wife as much as the next guy\u2014but if I, as her spiritual head, don\u2019t have a plan to nurture those things in her, how can I possibly expect those things out of her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was revolutionary!\u00a0 I don\u2019t know about you; but over the years, you know, God brought me to different places of repentance and brokenness.\u00a0 I\u2019d oftentimes come home with an announcement, \u201cGod changed my life, and things are going to be different around here.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the way it\u2019s going to be!\u201d\u00a0 More often than not, frankly, a couple days later\u2014that would go by the wayside, and my wife would be doubly hurt\u2014hurt that I wasn\u2019t doing \u201cx, y, z\u201d before; and now I\u2019ve announced that, \u201cI am,\u201d and I\u2019m not doing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI came back from that retreat, and I didn\u2019t say a word.\u00a0 I wanted to see if something genuinely had changed in my life\u2014if Ephesians, Chapter 5, and Deuteronomy, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChapter 6\u2014had <em>really<\/em> changed me.\u00a0 I wanted to see if there would be some different behavior.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until five or six weeks later\u2014she kept asking me, \u201cHow was the retreat?\u00a0 How was the retreat?\u201d\u00a0 I just kept saying, \u201cIt was fine.\u00a0 It was good;\u201d but God really did change my heart.\u00a0 He turned my heart to my wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So was there a point when Amy started to notice that something had changed with you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there were some very basic Christian practices that I rarely had us do before this time.\u00a0 You can probably know what those basic Christian practices were\u2014most importantly\u2014prayer.\u00a0 This wasn\u2019t a newsflash to me, you know, \u201cChristian husbands should be praying with their wives.\u201d\u00a0 We just didn\u2019t do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOccasionally, if there was some problem or whatever, but nothing regular.\u00a0 So, the first thing that happened is that I just made a commitment that I needed to be praying with her each night before we went to bed.\u00a0 Sometimes it would be 15-seconds long or 5-minutes long.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to be 30 minutes or an hour, but that was the first thing that changed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat introduced supernatural power into our relationship.\u00a0 You know, there\u2019s a reason <em>why<\/em> your pastor keeps telling you, \u201cPray and read your Bible.\u00a0 Pray and read your Bible.\u00a0 Pray and read your Bible.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s because God, in the Bible, says there are two things we can do in our homes that supernaturally transform our minds and shape our character, which is\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Pray and read your Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>--pray and read your Bible.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s like\u2014until the new version comes out\u2014the two things to do in your house are, \u201cPray and read your Bible.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Pray and read your Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing more dangerous, by the way, than a couple who are praying together and reading the Bible together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 Exactly\u2014because it changes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, family worship\u2014when the family gets together for prayer or the couple gets together for prayer and Bible reading\u2014your two most important relationships in the <em>whole <\/em>world are coming together\u2014your vertical relationship with God and your horizontal relationship with your spouse or with your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose 30 seconds or those five minutes, those ten minutes, have transformational power!\u00a0 I view family worship as the engine that <em>powers <\/em>the marriage and that <em>powers <\/em>the family.\u00a0 We were like a <em>Flintstones<\/em> couple.\u00a0 We watched <em>Flintstones<\/em> growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, how did they power their vehicle?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 With their feet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 With their feet, yes.\u00a0 Amy and I <em>powered<\/em> our marriage with two things\u2014good intentions and willpower.\u00a0 We meant well\u2014both Christian people, both took family very seriously.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we wanted to do right.\u00a0 We kept trying <em>harder<\/em> to deal with our problems in our marriage\u2014to deal with the issues with our family, and our finances, and communication, and all of that; but we never turned the engine on.\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of like a family pushing their car everywhere they go\u2014push your car to school, push your car to church, push your car to the grocery store.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It can be done\u2014takes you forever to get anywhere.\u00a0 You\u2019re exhausted all the time.\u00a0 We needed to start that engine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what you\u2019re saying is that a Christian man and a Christian woman who are married to one another don\u2019t necessarily <em>have<\/em> a Christian marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It sounds strange to say it, but that would be a fair description of where Amy and I were\u2014two people committed to Christ without a <em>distinctive<\/em> Christian marriage, driven by the Bible toward Kingdom purposes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, so you\u2019re saying that the fuel for your marriage\u2014four years ago there was a turning point\u2014prayer and the Bible.\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s pretty simple and pretty basic.\u00a0 Most people listening would say, \u201cIn fact, it\u2019s probably too simple, too basic.\u201d\u00a0 Most people listening who are Christian men and Christian women, married to one another, aren\u2019t praying together and aren\u2019t reading the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy aren\u2019t they doing it if it\u2019s that simple, and easy, and if it\u2019s <em>miraculous<\/em>\u2014supernatural?\u00a0 Why aren\u2019t they doing it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think it\u2019s because of spiritual attack.\u00a0 I\u2019ll ask men, \u201cHow many of you believe that it is <em>important<\/em> to pray with your wife?\u201d\u00a0 Everybody raises their hand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll say, \u201cOkay, how many of you think God actually wants you to do this?\u201d\u00a0 Again, they raise their hands.\u00a0 \u201cHow many of you think this is <em>easy <\/em>to do?\u201d\u00a0 In other words, \u201cIf you can pray aloud\u2014if you can pray before a meal, saying, \u2018Dear Lord, please this or that\u2014and Amen,\u2019 how many of you say it\u2019s easy?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes, that is easy.\u201d\u00a0 Then, \u201cHow many of you struggle doing it?\u201d\u00a0 Everybody raises their hand again.\u00a0 So it\u2019s important, it\u2019s divine, it\u2019s <em>easy<\/em>, and we pretty much don\u2019t do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t make a whole lot of sense.\u00a0 The reason is because you\u2019re missing an ingredient.\u00a0 It\u2019s important, it\u2019s a divine command, it\u2019s easy, and Satan throws everything at you to prevent you from doing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs crazy as this is, it\u2019s been now a 1,500 nights that Amy and I have prayed before bed.\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s after ten years of failure.\u00a0 So, we\u2019ve got a lot to catch up on here, but that\u2019s beside the point.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a little bit of a pattern.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re making headway, though?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Making headway, praise God; but here\u2019s how crazy as it is.\u00a0 Most nights, I lie down in bed and the Holy Spirit says, \u201cYou know, you need to pray with Amy, kind of like you\u2019ve done 1,500 nights in a row.\u201d\u00a0 And I will have awkwardness in the pit of my stomach.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 It\u2019s late.\u00a0 I\u2019m tired.\u201d\u00a0 Now, she\u2019s never rejected me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never once said, \u201cHoney, you want to pray with me?\u201d and she said, \u201cI\u2019m not praying with you, you jerk!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s never said that to me.\u00a0 She might have felt that sometimes, but she\u2019s never said it.\u00a0 So, I have no fear of rejection; but here I am\u2014spiritual attack\u2014spiritual attack\u2014\u201cDon\u2019t do this!\u00a0 Don\u2019t cross that line.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat gets into Ephesians 5, where you get this job description for the husband.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHusbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy.\u201d\u00a0 You get \u201clove, serve, lead\u2014love, serve, lead.\u201d\u00a0 In my marriage, the first two\u2014loving my wife and serving my wife\u2014are very difficult.\u00a0 They require tremendous sanctification, but I didn\u2019t feel like I got a lot of spiritual resistance trying to love her or trying to serve her; but, boy, if I tried to cross that line into any sort of spiritual relationship with her, that\u2019s when the fireworks and nuclear bombs went off.<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I love speaking to a group of men about this topic.\u00a0 As I conclude my message, I love to say to them, \u201cAny man here who\u2019ll come up to me, look me in the eye, shake my hand, and say, \u2018Tonight will be the first night of the rest of our marriage where we will pray with one another\u2019\u2014come up, and shake my hand, and commit\u2014make a commitment to me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had men do that; and I\u2019ve said, \u201cIn two years, your marriage, your family, and your lives, corporately, are going to be dramatically different,\u201d because you can\u2019t invite Almighty God into your marriage and into your family night after night, or day after day, and be the same.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to change.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wish right now, Rob, there was some way the men who had heard your testimony could reach out and take you by the hand.\u00a0 We don\u2019t have that capability yet from a technology-standpoint; but I\u2019d almost encourage a man, if you\u2019re willing to shake Rob\u2019s hand and do what he just challenged you to do, basically what he\u2019s done\u2014if you\u2019re willing to start praying with your wife\u2014as silly as it may look, reach your hand out toward the radio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 My hand\u2019s out, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just tap on your radio.\u00a0 That\u2019ll work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019ll do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just tap on the dashboard there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to do it tonight, and if I forget in a week or in a month and miss a night\u201d\u2014you know what? You begin again tomorrow night.\u00a0 It\u2019s not a legalistic <em>deal,<\/em> but it <em>is<\/em> a commitment that you make to begin to champion the discipleship of your wife and bring her before Almighty God together as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you missed any nights in the past four years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m sure there have been some that we\u2019ve missed, maybe if I\u2019m on the road or something like that; but I\u2019m always reminded\u2014my\u00a0 wife\u2014one of her favorite quotes is from G.K. Chesterton, \u201cIf it\u2019s worth doing, it\u2019s worth doing poorly.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 See, the thing is\u2014I mean\u2014let\u2019s call it \u201ccouple\u2019s devotions,\u201d doing devotions as a couple.\u00a0 This wasn\u2019t the first time that it dawned on me that we ought to be praying and reading the Bible; but in <em>my<\/em> mind, \u201ccouple\u2019s devotions\u201d meant that Amy was going to be reading during the week, and I\u2019m going to be reading during the week, and then we were going to come together for this rich hour or hour-and-a-half of spiritual conversation, and discussion, and prayer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 With six kids!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 Lo and behold, years were going by when we couldn\u2019t do that or didn\u2019t have the time to do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure, sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So I just plead with guys, \u201cLook!\u00a0 Even if you walk in the door\u2014you come home from work\u2014walk over to your wife, take her hand, \u2018Honey, let\u2019s pray.\u00a0 God, thanks for bringing us back together tonight.\u00a0 Bless our family.\u00a0 Amen.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s like three seconds.\u00a0 Now the advantage\u2014let\u2019s say you start doing that each day\u2014one of the great advantages of praying at that moment of the day is that a lot of the conflicts for Amy and I happen when our worlds collide.\u00a0 She brings the stress of her day; I bring the stress of my day and, \u201cPow!\u201d\u00a0 So, if we can insert a little prayer in there, we get that engine started and God helps us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there is a side benefit to this.\u00a0 Some of you guys, maybe you go to men\u2019s ministry or you\u2019re in a men\u2019s accountability group.\u00a0 If you start doing this three-second prayer, you\u2019re going to have some guy ask you, \u201cHey, are you praying with your wife?\u201d\u00a0 You can say, \u201cOh yes, we pray together every day.\u201d\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to tell him it\u2019s just three seconds.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Just leave it at that.\u00a0 You get the points for your men\u2019s group, too.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The three seconds will last longer as you begin to experience this, I promise you.\u00a0 That\u2019s how it has worked with Barbara and me as well.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to recommend your book, <em>Visionary Marriage.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>This is going to lift men\u2019s eyes <em>up <\/em>about their marriage and realize there\u2019s something bigger at stake in your marriage than just your happiness.\u00a0 There is something <em>magnificent<\/em> in play\u2014it is God\u2019s character; it is His glory.\u00a0 You\u2019re reflecting something to a fallen world that is really important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo those men, who may need some help in praying with their wives, Barbara and I wrote a little book\u2014and it\u2019s a little book, Bob\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is a little book called <em>Praying Together as a Couple.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Actually, Rob, what I\u2019ve done in this book is write out some sample prayers to get started.\u00a0 Some guys say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say to God!\u00a0 I\u2019ve never prayed out loud with anyone, let <em>alone<\/em> my wife.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we\u2019ve written the prayers out for guys to start; and by the time you finish 30 days, you won\u2019t need the written prayers.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be taking, not a solo flight; but there\u2019ll be two of you in the plane, and you\u2019ll be flying together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As a matter of fact, this week any listener who gets in touch with us and can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation, we\u2019re sending them a copy of your book, <em>Two Hearts Praying as One<\/em>.\u00a0 So, if a listener would like to get that, all they have to do is make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call us at 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you donate online, be sure to type the word \u201cONE\u201d (O-N-E) into the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get a copy of the book, <em>Two Hearts Praying as One, <\/em>sent to you.\u00a0 Of course, we have Rob Rienow\u2019s book, <em>Visionary Marriage,<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage listeners\u2014get a copy of this book and start talking together about what the right vision for your marriage ought to be.\u00a0 Then develop a plan for how that\u2019s going to work out in your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the title of Rob\u2019s book is <em>Visionary Marriage.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>You can find out more about it when you go online to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 It\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free, 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ask about the book, <em>Visionary Marriage, <\/em>when you get in touch with us; and we\u2019ll let you know how you can get a copy sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if you can make a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>ask for a copy of the book, <em>Two Hearts Praying as One,<\/em> by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk more about having a vision for your marriage.\u00a0 We want to talk about whether part of that vision should be a desire to help change your spouse.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24M"],"filesize_raw":["25165434"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302381.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302381.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top 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gets the best of you?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-17.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Rob Rienow was a seminary graduate.\u00a0 He was working as a youth pastor, trying to equip and encourage parents to have an impact in the lives of their children and to build strong families\u2014when all of a sudden, he had his own wake-up call.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Basically, the Holy Spirit zeroed right in and said, \u201cRob, you have not woken up a single day of your married life with the front-burner thought that Amy\u2019s spiritual growth that day was your responsibility; and you\u2019ve never had the thought\u2014not one time\u2014that you shouldn\u2019t expect anything out of your wife that you\u2019re not intentionally investing into her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI expect her to be happy, and pleasant, and kind\u2014I mean, I like a happy wife as much as the next guy\u2014but if I, as her spiritual head, don\u2019t have a plan to nurture those things in her, how can I possibly expect those things out of her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Monday, October 17<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Today, Rob Rienow joins us to talk about the difference between being a Christian husband and having a vision for your marriage.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 How long after you\u2019d been married did you start to have a vision for your marriage?\u00a0 I mean, you didn\u2019t when you said, \u201cI do,\u201d right?\u00a0 You had a vision for the honeymoon!\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Did you have any vision for anything beyond that?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a two-week vision for the honeymoon.\u00a0 Our honeymoon was one of the best of all time.\u00a0 I wish I could say that starting out our marriage I had the best vision for my marriage of all time, but I didn\u2019t.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So when did it come?\u00a0 Did it come when you were sitting in Dr. Hendricks\u2019 classes at Dallas Seminary?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say it started then.\u00a0 I would say Dr. Hendricks mentored me, coached me.\u00a0 There\u2019s no question about that.\u00a0 I think Don Meredith\u2014Don and Sally, who helped start FamilyLife back in 1976\u2014contributed to it.\u00a0 But I think it was really, Bob, when I got into the Book, the Bible, and began to take a look at the blueprints of Scripture and realize that marriage was not designed by God just so we could have our needs met.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There were noble, holy purposes for marriage that God had in mind when He created the institution.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think most people don\u2019t really understand how foundational and fundamental marriage and family is to God\u2019s purpose and plan for humankind on earth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the book of Genesis starts with a marriage, and the book of Revelation ends with a marriage.\u00a0 All throughout the Scriptures you see God\u2019s truth and His favor being passed down through generations\u2014or evil being passed down through generations.\u00a0 So, marriage and family are really important to what God is accomplishing on planet Earth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tProverbs 24 makes it clear, \u201cBy wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.\u00a0 By knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.\u201d\u00a0 We need wisdom to build our homes; we need understanding; we need knowledge.\u00a0 All of that comes from the Scriptures.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a friend here in the studio who\u2014well, I think he\u2019s a kindred spirit, Bob, what do you think?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I would say so, yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He has written a book called <em>Visionary Marriage<\/em>.\u00a0 His name is Rob Rienow.\u00a0 Rob, welcome back to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you.\u00a0 It\u2019s a pleasure to be with you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Rob and his wife Amy have six children.\u00a0 They are the founders of Visionary Family Ministries.\u00a0 They live near Chicago, and he has written this book that is subtitled <em>Capture a God-sized Vision for Your Marriage.<\/em>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll just ask you what Bob just asked me.\u00a0 Did you have a God-sized vision\u2014I know the answer to this, by the way\u2014I read your book.\u00a0 Did you have a God-sized vision for your marriage, Rob?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely not.\u00a0 Both my wife and I came to Christ when we were kids.\u00a0 I was in seminary and working at a church, and she was a committed Christian; but neither one of us had any sort of big-picture vision for why God created marriage and how the institution of marriage and this family-thing and children\u2014how any of that connected to His plan for the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the result of that in your marriage and in your family was\u2014?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, the end result of it was that we started to build independent lives.\u00a0 I had a life and ministry and she had a life and ministry.\u00a0 Yes, we began to have children after three years and raise the kids, but we were not one-hearted.\u00a0 You know, in Genesis 2 you get the \u201cleave, cleave, and become one.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo you move out of your parents\u2019 house, you build a life together, and then you become one in mission and purpose.\u00a0 Now, of course, the world says you do it the other way.\u00a0 You become \u201cone\u201d first\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 --and then you build a life together, and then you move out of your parents\u2019 house.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 But that\u2019s beside the point.\u00a0 We did the first two.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t live at home anymore, and we began to build a functional life together; but we were not unified around a single, Kingdom purpose.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even though you were in full-time ministry and proclaiming the truth about the gospel.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We had really disconnected.\u00a0 I was thoroughly ignorant of the connection between God\u2019s creation of the family and His plan for the world.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you would say, working in a local church (and in a good local church) for a number of years\u2014most of the people in the local church don\u2019t have a big vision for marriage and family, do they?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, even with the word \u201cministry.\u201d\u00a0 Let\u2019s say someone comes up to you and says, \u201cHey, Bob, how\u2019s ministry going these days?\u201d\u00a0 If you were to say, \u201cWell, let me tell you the ways I\u2019m trying to love and bless my wife,\u201d they would say, \u201cNo, no, I mean how are you volunteering at church?\u00a0 What are you doing with FamilyLife, or what\u2019s going on?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat word \u201cministry\u201d has been hijacked away from anything related to married life and family life.\u00a0 Or if someone says, \u201cHow are you doing making disciples and being a Great Commission Christian?\u201d\u00a0 If a father says, \u201cWell, let me tell you how I\u2019m reading the Bible with my daughter,\u201d it\u2019s almost like that doesn\u2019t count.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I remember Josh McDowell being on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 He liked to say it in this provocative way.\u00a0 He said, \u201c<em>My <\/em>ministry is more important than my family,\u201d and then he said, \u201cand <em>my<\/em> number one ministry is with my wife and with my kids.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a way of kind of getting your attention but saying the same thing that you\u2019re saying.\u00a0 When did you have your \u201cAha\u201d moment around this idea that your marriage and your family needed to be, not just notched up a little bit on the priority level, but you really needed a recalibration of your whole life?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 It was the summer of 2003.\u00a0 I had been serving as the youth pastor at my church for about ten years or so.\u00a0 Amy and I had been married nine or ten years at that point.\u00a0 We had four children.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you had asked me at that time, \u201cRob, what are your priorities in life as a Christian man?\u201d I would have told you, \u201cNumber one, my relationship with God\u2014top priority for me; number two, my relationship with my wife; number three, my relationship with my children; number four, my ministry at church and other people in my life.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNot only that, in fact, I remember teaching and preaching on those priority lists\u2014saying, \u201cThis is the right way to live your life.\u201d\u00a0 The reason why I knew I lived that way\u2014I wasn\u2019t just preaching it.\u00a0 I was living it out\u2014because if my Senior Pastor called me on the phone and said, \u201cRob, I\u2019ve got a crisis;\u201d and the other phone rang and it was Amy and she said, \u201cI\u2019ve got a crisis,\u201d where would I go?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCome on, it\u2019s not a hard question\u2014crisis at work; crisis at home.\u00a0 Where am I going to go?\u00a0 I\u2019m a man of principle and priority here!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019d go where the pastor told you to go\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, Bob.\u00a0 Dennis, come on, help us out.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I know that\u2019s not the right answer, but is that where you\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, I would go home!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Would you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Alright.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If I\u2019ve got a crisis at work and a crisis at home, there\u2019s <em>no question <\/em>in my mind.\u00a0 I\u2019m going home!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you played the part.\u00a0 You looked like you had the priority in place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 And over the course of that summer, God brought a lot of different things into my life.\u00a0 There was a question that the Holy Spirit kept needling me about related to all these priorities.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe question was, \u201cRob, what if there\u2019s no crisis?\u00a0 What if it\u2019s a normal day, normal week, normal month?\u00a0 What gets the best of your heart?\u00a0\u00a0 What gets the best of your passion, and your energy, and your leadership, and your vision, and your calling, and your calendar, and your checkbook?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose four really great-sounding priorities\u2014right\u2014God, spouse, children, others\u2014completely flipped.\u00a0 If there was <em>no<\/em> crisis, the best of my heart and the best of my life went to other people.\u00a0 As a pastor at a church, it went to the young people, and the marriages, and the families that I was caring about.\u00a0 Followed by my ministry at church, came my kids.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t an absent dad.\u00a0 I was physically around my children, although I can remember a time when my teenage son (he was three)\u2014we were walking to church; and he said, \u201cIs this where <em>you <\/em>live, Daddy?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not good\u2014funny\u2014I mean, we look back and laugh at it now, but it was a dagger\u2014just a dagger to the heart.\u00a0 The truth was that I had absolutely no plan whatsoever to disciple my own children.\u00a0 If you were fathers at Wheaton Bible Church, I had plans to disciple <em>your <\/em>children but <em>zero<\/em> spiritual leadership in the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So when this dawned on you, when that question kept coming back\u2014which was, \u201cWhat if there\u2019s not a crisis?\u00a0 What\u2019s getting your attention and your focus?\u201d\u00a0 There was a point where that question kind of crushed you, didn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I can remember it very specifically.\u00a0 We were getting some work done on our house.\u00a0 So, we spent three or four months living at my wife\u2019s parents\u2019 house while this construction was getting done.\u00a0 I was listening to a message on fatherhood and cleaning a bathroom.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>wasn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely it was!\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I thought so.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 All of this came crashing down.\u00a0 I just broke down on that bathroom floor, on my knees and wept.\u00a0 I repented to the Lord and said, \u201cGod, would you please\u201d\u2014it was a strangely-phrased prayer\u2014\u201cWould you turn me into a Christian man?\u201d\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t that I wasn\u2019t saved; but,\u201cthat my heart would first be with You, then in my ministry to my wife, then in my ministry to my children, and then whatever is left over, I\u2019ll give to everybody else and serve the way You want me to serve.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSince that time, God has been answering that prayer in fits and starts.\u00a0 I keep turning my heart away from mission one and priority one.\u00a0 So, I keep repenting and keep turning back, and keep bumbling, and keep repenting, and keep turning back; but God has been so gracious.\u00a0 He has just transformed our family!\u00a0 He has transformed our home, transformed our marriage, and transformed our ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNone of the things that happened then through our family ministry at church and through our Visionary Family Ministries would have ever happened.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 The initial wake-up call for you got you focused in on discipling your kids, but it took a little while longer before you started to address your relationship with your wife in the same level of priority, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 As He turned my heart to my children, some things started to happen for me.\u00a0 I started to wake up in the morning with the front-burner thought that my kids\u2019 spiritual growth that day was my responsibility.\u00a0 \u201cWhat was I going to do that day to nurture faith in them?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnother thought that God kept bringing to my mind was that I shouldn\u2019t be expecting anything out of my children that I\u2019m not intentionally investing <em>into <\/em>them.\u00a0 In other words, I expect them to be happy, and pleasant, and joyful, and obedient.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know about you, but my kids didn\u2019t get that stuff at the factory.\u00a0 Maybe yours did.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI expect those things out of them\u2014Right?\u2014which is ultimately unfair.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 To expect things they don\u2019t have.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How can I expect those things if I\u2019m not investing those things in?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWell, it was at a men\u2019s retreat for our church about three years after that\u2014where God took that level of repentance that needed to happen with my children and turned it to my marriage.\u00a0 Basically, the Holy Spirit zeroed right in and said, \u201cRob, you have not woken up a single day of your married life with the front-burner thought that Amy\u2019s spiritual growth that day was your responsibility and that you needed a plan to encourage her\u2014 that you needed a plan to bless her and you needed a plan to nurture her.\u00a0 And you\u2019ve never had the thought\u2014not one time\u2014that you shouldn\u2019t expect anything out of your wife that you\u2019re not intentionally investing into her.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI expect her to be happy, and pleasant, and kind\u2014I mean, I like a happy wife as much as the next guy\u2014but if I, as her spiritual head, don\u2019t have a plan to nurture those things in her, how can I possibly expect those things out of her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was revolutionary!\u00a0 I don\u2019t know about you; but over the years, you know, God brought me to different places of repentance and brokenness.\u00a0 I\u2019d oftentimes come home with an announcement, \u201cGod changed my life, and things are going to be different around here.\u00a0 Here\u2019s the way it\u2019s going to be!\u201d\u00a0 More often than not, frankly, a couple days later\u2014that would go by the wayside, and my wife would be doubly hurt\u2014hurt that I wasn\u2019t doing \u201cx, y, z\u201d before; and now I\u2019ve announced that, \u201cI am,\u201d and I\u2019m not doing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI came back from that retreat, and I didn\u2019t say a word.\u00a0 I wanted to see if something genuinely had changed in my life\u2014if Ephesians, Chapter 5, and Deuteronomy, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChapter 6\u2014had <em>really<\/em> changed me.\u00a0 I wanted to see if there would be some different behavior.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t until five or six weeks later\u2014she kept asking me, \u201cHow was the retreat?\u00a0 How was the retreat?\u201d\u00a0 I just kept saying, \u201cIt was fine.\u00a0 It was good;\u201d but God really did change my heart.\u00a0 He turned my heart to my wife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So was there a point when Amy started to notice that something had changed with you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there were some very basic Christian practices that I rarely had us do before this time.\u00a0 You can probably know what those basic Christian practices were\u2014most importantly\u2014prayer.\u00a0 This wasn\u2019t a newsflash to me, you know, \u201cChristian husbands should be praying with their wives.\u201d\u00a0 We just didn\u2019t do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOccasionally, if there was some problem or whatever, but nothing regular.\u00a0 So, the first thing that happened is that I just made a commitment that I needed to be praying with her each night before we went to bed.\u00a0 Sometimes it would be 15-seconds long or 5-minutes long.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t have to be 30 minutes or an hour, but that was the first thing that changed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat introduced supernatural power into our relationship.\u00a0 You know, there\u2019s a reason <em>why<\/em> your pastor keeps telling you, \u201cPray and read your Bible.\u00a0 Pray and read your Bible.\u00a0 Pray and read your Bible.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s because God, in the Bible, says there are two things we can do in our homes that supernaturally transform our minds and shape our character, which is\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Pray and read your Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>--pray and read your Bible.\u00a0 So, it\u2019s like\u2014until the new version comes out\u2014the two things to do in your house are, \u201cPray and read your Bible.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Pray and read your Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There\u2019s nothing more dangerous, by the way, than a couple who are praying together and reading the Bible together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 Exactly\u2014because it changes\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, family worship\u2014when the family gets together for prayer or the couple gets together for prayer and Bible reading\u2014your two most important relationships in the <em>whole <\/em>world are coming together\u2014your vertical relationship with God and your horizontal relationship with your spouse or with your children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThose 30 seconds or those five minutes, those ten minutes, have transformational power!\u00a0 I view family worship as the engine that <em>powers <\/em>the marriage and that <em>powers <\/em>the family.\u00a0 We were like a <em>Flintstones<\/em> couple.\u00a0 We watched <em>Flintstones<\/em> growing up.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, how did they power their vehicle?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 With their feet.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 With their feet, yes.\u00a0 Amy and I <em>powered<\/em> our marriage with two things\u2014good intentions and willpower.\u00a0 We meant well\u2014both Christian people, both took family very seriously.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we wanted to do right.\u00a0 We kept trying <em>harder<\/em> to deal with our problems in our marriage\u2014to deal with the issues with our family, and our finances, and communication, and all of that; but we never turned the engine on.\u00a0 It\u2019s kind of like a family pushing their car everywhere they go\u2014push your car to school, push your car to church, push your car to the grocery store.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It can be done\u2014takes you forever to get anywhere.\u00a0 You\u2019re exhausted all the time.\u00a0 We needed to start that engine.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So what you\u2019re saying is that a Christian man and a Christian woman who are married to one another don\u2019t necessarily <em>have<\/em> a Christian marriage.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It sounds strange to say it, but that would be a fair description of where Amy and I were\u2014two people committed to Christ without a <em>distinctive<\/em> Christian marriage, driven by the Bible toward Kingdom purposes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, so you\u2019re saying that the fuel for your marriage\u2014four years ago there was a turning point\u2014prayer and the Bible.\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s pretty simple and pretty basic.\u00a0 Most people listening would say, \u201cIn fact, it\u2019s probably too simple, too basic.\u201d\u00a0 Most people listening who are Christian men and Christian women, married to one another, aren\u2019t praying together and aren\u2019t reading the Bible. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhy aren\u2019t they doing it if it\u2019s that simple, and easy, and if it\u2019s <em>miraculous<\/em>\u2014supernatural?\u00a0 Why aren\u2019t they doing it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think it\u2019s because of spiritual attack.\u00a0 I\u2019ll ask men, \u201cHow many of you believe that it is <em>important<\/em> to pray with your wife?\u201d\u00a0 Everybody raises their hand.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI\u2019ll say, \u201cOkay, how many of you think God actually wants you to do this?\u201d\u00a0 Again, they raise their hands.\u00a0 \u201cHow many of you think this is <em>easy <\/em>to do?\u201d\u00a0 In other words, \u201cIf you can pray aloud\u2014if you can pray before a meal, saying, \u2018Dear Lord, please this or that\u2014and Amen,\u2019 how many of you say it\u2019s easy?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYes, that is easy.\u201d\u00a0 Then, \u201cHow many of you struggle doing it?\u201d\u00a0 Everybody raises their hand again.\u00a0 So it\u2019s important, it\u2019s divine, it\u2019s <em>easy<\/em>, and we pretty much don\u2019t do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t make a whole lot of sense.\u00a0 The reason is because you\u2019re missing an ingredient.\u00a0 It\u2019s important, it\u2019s a divine command, it\u2019s easy, and Satan throws everything at you to prevent you from doing it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs crazy as this is, it\u2019s been now a 1,500 nights that Amy and I have prayed before bed.\u00a0 Now, that\u2019s after ten years of failure.\u00a0 So, we\u2019ve got a lot to catch up on here, but that\u2019s beside the point.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got a little bit of a pattern.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re making headway, though?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Making headway, praise God; but here\u2019s how crazy as it is.\u00a0 Most nights, I lie down in bed and the Holy Spirit says, \u201cYou know, you need to pray with Amy, kind of like you\u2019ve done 1,500 nights in a row.\u201d\u00a0 And I will have awkwardness in the pit of my stomach.\u00a0 \u201cOh, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 It\u2019s late.\u00a0 I\u2019m tired.\u201d\u00a0 Now, she\u2019s never rejected me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve never once said, \u201cHoney, you want to pray with me?\u201d and she said, \u201cI\u2019m not praying with you, you jerk!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe\u2019s never said that to me.\u00a0 She might have felt that sometimes, but she\u2019s never said it.\u00a0 So, I have no fear of rejection; but here I am\u2014spiritual attack\u2014spiritual attack\u2014\u201cDon\u2019t do this!\u00a0 Don\u2019t cross that line.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat gets into Ephesians 5, where you get this job description for the husband.\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cHusbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy.\u201d\u00a0 You get \u201clove, serve, lead\u2014love, serve, lead.\u201d\u00a0 In my marriage, the first two\u2014loving my wife and serving my wife\u2014are very difficult.\u00a0 They require tremendous sanctification, but I didn\u2019t feel like I got a lot of spiritual resistance trying to love her or trying to serve her; but, boy, if I tried to cross that line into any sort of spiritual relationship with her, that\u2019s when the fireworks and nuclear bombs went off.<br>\u00a0\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I love speaking to a group of men about this topic.\u00a0 As I conclude my message, I love to say to them, \u201cAny man here who\u2019ll come up to me, look me in the eye, shake my hand, and say, \u2018Tonight will be the first night of the rest of our marriage where we will pray with one another\u2019\u2014come up, and shake my hand, and commit\u2014make a commitment to me.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had men do that; and I\u2019ve said, \u201cIn two years, your marriage, your family, and your lives, corporately, are going to be dramatically different,\u201d because you can\u2019t invite Almighty God into your marriage and into your family night after night, or day after day, and be the same.\u00a0 You\u2019re going to change.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wish right now, Rob, there was some way the men who had heard your testimony could reach out and take you by the hand.\u00a0 We don\u2019t have that capability yet from a technology-standpoint; but I\u2019d almost encourage a man, if you\u2019re willing to shake Rob\u2019s hand and do what he just challenged you to do, basically what he\u2019s done\u2014if you\u2019re willing to start praying with your wife\u2014as silly as it may look, reach your hand out toward the radio.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 My hand\u2019s out, guys.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just tap on your radio.\u00a0 That\u2019ll work.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019ll do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just tap on the dashboard there.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know what?\u00a0 \u201cI\u2019m going to do it tonight, and if I forget in a week or in a month and miss a night\u201d\u2014you know what? You begin again tomorrow night.\u00a0 It\u2019s not a legalistic <em>deal,<\/em> but it <em>is<\/em> a commitment that you make to begin to champion the discipleship of your wife and bring her before Almighty God together as a couple.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have you missed any nights in the past four years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m sure there have been some that we\u2019ve missed, maybe if I\u2019m on the road or something like that; but I\u2019m always reminded\u2014my\u00a0 wife\u2014one of her favorite quotes is from G.K. Chesterton, \u201cIf it\u2019s worth doing, it\u2019s worth doing poorly.\u201d\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 See, the thing is\u2014I mean\u2014let\u2019s call it \u201ccouple\u2019s devotions,\u201d doing devotions as a couple.\u00a0 This wasn\u2019t the first time that it dawned on me that we ought to be praying and reading the Bible; but in <em>my<\/em> mind, \u201ccouple\u2019s devotions\u201d meant that Amy was going to be reading during the week, and I\u2019m going to be reading during the week, and then we were going to come together for this rich hour or hour-and-a-half of spiritual conversation, and discussion, and prayer.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 With six kids!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 Lo and behold, years were going by when we couldn\u2019t do that or didn\u2019t have the time to do that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure, sure.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Rob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So I just plead with guys, \u201cLook!\u00a0 Even if you walk in the door\u2014you come home from work\u2014walk over to your wife, take her hand, \u2018Honey, let\u2019s pray.\u00a0 God, thanks for bringing us back together tonight.\u00a0 Bless our family.\u00a0 Amen.\u2019\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThat\u2019s like three seconds.\u00a0 Now the advantage\u2014let\u2019s say you start doing that each day\u2014one of the great advantages of praying at that moment of the day is that a lot of the conflicts for Amy and I happen when our worlds collide.\u00a0 She brings the stress of her day; I bring the stress of my day and, \u201cPow!\u201d\u00a0 So, if we can insert a little prayer in there, we get that engine started and God helps us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there is a side benefit to this.\u00a0 Some of you guys, maybe you go to men\u2019s ministry or you\u2019re in a men\u2019s accountability group.\u00a0 If you start doing this three-second prayer, you\u2019re going to have some guy ask you, \u201cHey, are you praying with your wife?\u201d\u00a0 You can say, \u201cOh yes, we pray together every day.\u201d\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to tell him it\u2019s just three seconds.\u00a0 (Laughter)\u00a0 Just leave it at that.\u00a0 You get the points for your men\u2019s group, too.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The three seconds will last longer as you begin to experience this, I promise you.\u00a0 That\u2019s how it has worked with Barbara and me as well.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to recommend your book, <em>Visionary Marriage.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>This is going to lift men\u2019s eyes <em>up <\/em>about their marriage and realize there\u2019s something bigger at stake in your marriage than just your happiness.\u00a0 There is something <em>magnificent<\/em> in play\u2014it is God\u2019s character; it is His glory.\u00a0 You\u2019re reflecting something to a fallen world that is really important.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tTo those men, who may need some help in praying with their wives, Barbara and I wrote a little book\u2014and it\u2019s a little book, Bob\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It is a little book called <em>Praying Together as a Couple.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Actually, Rob, what I\u2019ve done in this book is write out some sample prayers to get started.\u00a0 Some guys say, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say to God!\u00a0 I\u2019ve never prayed out loud with anyone, let <em>alone<\/em> my wife.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo we\u2019ve written the prayers out for guys to start; and by the time you finish 30 days, you won\u2019t need the written prayers.\u00a0 You\u2019ll be taking, not a solo flight; but there\u2019ll be two of you in the plane, and you\u2019ll be flying together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As a matter of fact, this week any listener who gets in touch with us and can help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>with a donation, we\u2019re sending them a copy of your book, <em>Two Hearts Praying as One<\/em>.\u00a0 So, if a listener would like to get that, all they have to do is make a donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call us at 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you donate online, be sure to type the word \u201cONE\u201d (O-N-E) into the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 We\u2019ll get a copy of the book, <em>Two Hearts Praying as One, <\/em>sent to you.\u00a0 Of course, we have Rob Rienow\u2019s book, <em>Visionary Marriage,<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>Resource Center.\u00a0 I\u2019d encourage listeners\u2014get a copy of this book and start talking together about what the right vision for your marriage ought to be.\u00a0 Then develop a plan for how that\u2019s going to work out in your relationship.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, the title of Rob\u2019s book is <em>Visionary Marriage.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>You can find out more about it when you go online to FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 It\u2019s FamilyLifeToday.com; or call toll-free, 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word, \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Ask about the book, <em>Visionary Marriage, <\/em>when you get in touch with us; and we\u2019ll let you know how you can get a copy sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, if you can make a donation to help support <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>ask for a copy of the book, <em>Two Hearts Praying as One,<\/em> by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, tomorrow, we\u2019re going to talk more about having a vision for your marriage.\u00a0 We want to talk about whether part of that vision should be a desire to help change your spouse.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk more about that tomorrow.\u00a0 Hope you can tune in.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back tomorrow for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302381","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302381"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302381"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302381"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302381"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302381"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302381"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302381"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}