{"id":302376,"date":"2011-10-10T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-10-10T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/the-diagnosis\/"},"modified":"2025-01-09T13:41:25","modified_gmt":"2025-01-09T18:41:25","slug":"the-diagnosis","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-diagnosis\/","title":{"rendered":"The Diagnosis"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Life comes with choices.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Life comes with choices.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-10.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.51M","filesize_raw":"25700384","date_recorded":"2011-10-10 11:00:00","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[5076,4129],"podcast_series":[7831],"cwp_profile":[9243],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302376","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-gay","tag-homosexuality","podcast_series-a-positive-life","cwp_profile-shane-stanford","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302376\/the-diagnosis","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302376\/the-diagnosis","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"kgUL69lQDo\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-diagnosis\/\">The Diagnosis<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/the-diagnosis\/embed\/#?secret=kgUL69lQDo\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;The Diagnosis&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"kgUL69lQDo\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-10.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-10.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Shane Stanford was sixteen years old when he got the heart-breaking news: because of a tainted transfusion, Shane was HIV positive.<\/p>\n<p>He remembers having a conversation with his grandfather not long after that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember on this particular day, we were sitting there.\u00a0 You have that feeling that somebody wants to say something to you, and you know you want to say something to someone, but no one will start the first words.\u00a0 That\u2019s what happened, and finally my grandfather looked over at me and he said, \u201cSo, what are you going to do with this thing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He wouldn\u2019t say AIDS or HIV.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat are you going to do with this thing?\u201d\u00a0 I looked over at him and I said, \u201cI don\u2019t think I have a choice.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cSon, you always have a choice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today\u00ae<\/em> for Monday, October 10<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Shane Stanford joins us today to talk about a number of the choices he has made since first learning that he was HIV positive.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.<\/p>\n<p>You know, I think it was probably 25 years ago when I first heard about the HIV virus and about AIDS.\u00a0 At that point, in the late \u201880s, there were a lot of questions.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t know where it came from; we didn\u2019t know how to curb it.\u00a0 I remember warnings that you shouldn\u2019t eat at a salad bar or swim in the local community pool because you might get AIDS.\u00a0 It was an alarming disease.<\/p>\n<p>We live in a different era today, and thanks to medical science we have a little more control over what\u2019s going on with the AIDS virus, but I think we need to remember that this disease still devastates a lot of families.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really does.\u00a0 We have the privilege today of hearing really a God story.\u00a0 In fact, as I was thinking about introducing our guest on the broadcast today, Shane Stanford, I thought of this verse that Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15, verse 10:\u00a0 \u201cBut by the grace of God, I am what I am.\u00a0 His grace toward me was not in vain.\u201d\u00a0 Your story is a story of great grace and a story of heroic faith on your part.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d like to welcome you to the broadcast, and I want our listeners to stay tuned because they\u2019re going to hear a great story today.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, thank you very much.\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how happy I am to be a part of this.\u00a0 I appreciate you guys and all you do.\u00a0 You do a great work!\u00a0 This ministry has made a difference in my life in very personal ways.\u00a0 Maybe I get a chance to share that today.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re right.\u00a0 It is still an alarming disease, Bob.\u00a0 That is a point that needs to be made.\u00a0 It is still the number one killer for young women, ages 18-25.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Anybody who gets the news, \u201cYou\u2019re positive with HIV,\u201d their life changes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Their life changes.\u00a0 Their relationships change.\u00a0 The way that they should handle and make decisions should change.\u00a0 This is still a disease that is killing people around the world.\u00a0 Just because we have medicines that can change that does not negate the power of a virus that will affect your body in very profound ways.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Shane, you\u2019re a pastor.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve written a book called <em>A Positive Life<\/em> which is a story about how you have been living with HIV, not only as a pastor, but also as a husband and a father.\u00a0 It\u2019s just a great story of God\u2019s work in your life.<\/p>\n<p>I want to take you all the way back to the beginning, though.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your childhood was checkered with some amazing news, right off the start.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was.\u00a0 From the very beginning, being a hemophiliac, I was six months old when I fell trying to walk like most children do, and I cut my lip.\u00a0 We could not figure out why I could not stop bleeding.\u00a0 My grandfather, who was also a hemophiliac, my mother\u2019s father, had died when my mom was 12 years old.\u00a0 Everyone in the family had forgotten that he was a hemophiliac.<\/p>\n<p>The way hemophilia is passed from one generation to the next is that it goes from male to female to male.\u00a0 So, women are carriers; males are hemophiliacs.\u00a0 It was a doctor in a very small town in southern Mississippi who finally asked the question, \u201cDo you have hemophilia in your background?\u201d\u00a0 After remembering about my grandfather, they said, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I was diagnosed at the age of six months and a few days.\u00a0 We went from there.\u00a0 At first, for probably the first six or seven years of my life, there was really no treatment other than a very complicated regimen of blood transfusions.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Explain what life is like for a two year-old, three year-old, four year-old who\u2019s a hemophiliac.\u00a0 Does that mean that if you skin your knee, you\u2019re in life-threatening danger?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it depends.\u00a0 There are variations of hemophilia.\u00a0 You can be a major, severe case of hemophilia, or you can be mild.\u00a0 I\u2019m mild.\u00a0 Usually what that means is that if I cut myself, I\u2019m going to bleed a little bit longer.\u00a0 For instance, if you cut yourself, Dennis, you\u2019re going to be 29 seconds clotting.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to be 46 seconds.<\/p>\n<p>So that extra 17 seconds makes a difference when that blood continues to flow.\u00a0 The primary problem for hemophiliacs, though, is what happens internally.\u00a0 Your joints \u2013 if you hurt a joint, it doesn\u2019t heal.\u00a0 If you hurt your muscles, they don\u2019t heal the way that they should heal.\u00a0 So you basically grow up with injuries that become self-sustaining almost.<\/p>\n<p>For a three or four year-old, imagine the number of times that you fall and bust your knee or you do something to your hand or bust your nose or lip.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or twist your ankle.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or twist your ankle, yes.\u00a0 Those are events that, for a hemophiliac, they don\u2019t just heal.\u00a0 You can imagine the stress.\u00a0 My father was really not around.\u00a0 He was not as active as he needed to be.\u00a0 My mom was basically a single mom.\u00a0 She was very young when she had me.\u00a0 You can imagine having a child and you don\u2019t know very much about the disease, who keeps bleeding and hurting himself and not healing.<\/p>\n<p>So I grew up with a mom who was learning along the way.\u00a0 Thankfully, she\u2019s a great godly woman, but at the same time, you know, we grew up together in a lot of issues.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, that disease not only took a toll on your life, but also must have taken a toll on your parents\u2019 marriage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 It did.\u00a0 In fact, two days after Christmas in 1976, my father came home from lunch, which was a rarity.\u00a0 He never came home from work.\u00a0 He told me that my parents were getting a divorce.\u00a0 They had actually gotten a divorce that day.\u00a0 I remember thinking to myself that my world was coming to an end.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t know anything about divorce.\u00a0 I just knew that my parents didn\u2019t spend a lot of time together, so I didn\u2019t know about a healthy marriage either, but to have my father then all of the sudden pack his clothes and leave at the age of six \u2013 that was tough.<\/p>\n<p>I remember going outside - we lived on a college campus because my dad worked for a local community college as the Public Relations Director \u2013 and sitting in the front yard,\u00a0\u00a0 I just began to cry, and I remember a few minutes into that I looked up and coming down the road was an old, beat up, red pickup truck.\u00a0 It was my grandfather.\u00a0 That was really the first time that my grandfather would become my hero and my rescuer for a lot of things in my life.\u00a0 He would play an important part in the HIV diagnosis as well.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He ended up being the model \u2013 the male mentor \u2013 in your life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 He did.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So that as a teenager, when you were diagnosed, he stepped into your life in a significant way.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 He did, and it might be helpful for me to say that around the age of seven or eight, there was a major discovery in hemophilia called \u201cfactor.\u201d\u00a0 Most of us were missing a particular factor that causes us not to be able to clot or heal.\u00a0 I\u2019m missing the \u201cA factor.\u201d\u00a0 They developed a replacement therapy, where you could take a medicine that was made of human blood donations; it would take about thirty donations to make one dose of that.<\/p>\n<p>If I took three doses per day, then I was taking blood from around 90 different people.\u00a0 This was a miracle drug, because what it did was replace the factor we were missing.\u00a0 So I clotted much quicker, healed much better, and we really thought that hemophilia --\u00a0 within a matter of a few years that we would be taking a pill, that we would be able to live with this chronically, at the very least \u2013 that our lives were going to change.<\/p>\n<p>That was until around 1981, 1982, when the first cases of hemophiliacs becoming sick with the same virus that was plaguing gay men in San Francisco hit the news.\u00a0 Come to find out, the HIV virus was actually in the blood supply.\u00a0 Hemophiliacs were taking factor that had been made from blood donations that were already infected with HIV.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you were a teenager, again, having already received these blood donors with tainted blood, you were also at the time exceling at sports?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You became quite an accomplished golfer?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I love what you wrote about in your book.\u00a0 In your journal, you quoted yourself (as a sixteen year-old, I guess), saying \u201cMan, I just shot 78 from the tips.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right; from the tips.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All the way back, sixteen years old.\u00a0 That day was to be an important day in your life \u2013 not for your golf game, but for the news you received.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 Later on that afternoon, I was told to go by my doctor\u2019s office; that the doctor needed to talk to me about something.\u00a0 We had been informed a couple of years before about the possibility that there were viruses in the blood supply.\u00a0 They had taken me off of factor, and I was taking some other factor-raising drugs at that time.<\/p>\n<p>What had happened was that we had not done it soon enough.\u00a0 The doctor informed me that the medicine used to treat my hemophilia had indeed been contaminated with HIV and that I was HIV positive.\u00a0 I had been tested as I was having eye surgery, and they actually had waited several months because it was such a traumatic diagnosis.<\/p>\n<p>There were no medicines at that time.\u00a0 If a person was diagnosed with HIV, it was usually profoundly aggressive and they would have around two to three years.\u00a0 That was what I was told; that I had two to three years to live.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you go into that doctor\u2019s appointment as a sixteen year-old all by yourself?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I went by myself and found the news out by myself and left by myself.\u00a0 It was surreal.\u00a0 I tell people that I went to bed the night before as the captain of the golf team and president of my class, dating the prettiest girl in school, and the very next day was told that I had two to three years to live.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did you process that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, God does -- I don\u2019t believe in coincidences.\u00a0 Three months prior to that, I had accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord of my life.\u00a0 I had gone to church all my life; I had walked the aisle as an eight year-old, but I really didn\u2019t get it.\u00a0 I was truly transformed just a few months prior.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There had been a young lady in your life who had been in the hospital where you were staying.\u00a0 Tell the story about the impact she had in your life.\u00a0 This was like an angel sent.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I still believe she\u2019s an angel.\u00a0 Her name was Katherine and as I was in the hospital recovering from eye surgery - I have a disease completely separate from the hemophilia where my corneas actually will degenerate -- so I was having a cornea transplant.\u00a0 I remember one night I was fussing.\u00a0 I was sixteen years old and I was in the children\u2019s ward of the hospital.\u00a0 I heard these groans and these moans from the room next to me.<\/p>\n<p>I remember leaving.\u00a0 No one was staying with me that evening, and I went over to the next room and there was just a beautiful young lady.\u00a0 Her head was bandaged, but her face was just gorgeous.\u00a0 She had these beautiful eyes.\u00a0 She was just hurting terribly.\u00a0 I quickly stepped out of the room, but the next day I walked back over and she was sitting on the edge of her bed.<\/p>\n<p>I went in and began to talk to her.\u00a0 I say in the book that she\u2019s the type of girl that you either wanted to marry or elect president or both.\u00a0 She knew about politics and about God and about SEC football.\u00a0 I mean, she was one of these that could talk about anything.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What else would a man want?!<\/p>\n<p>(laughter)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 What else do you need?\u00a0 That\u2019s right!<\/p>\n<p>It was a conversation with her that reminded me about the power and the grace of God and how Jesus Christ came so that our lives personally \u2013 your life, my life, our hearts \u2013 would not be the same again.\u00a0 No matter what we went through, we would not be the same again.\u00a0 It was not just words.<\/p>\n<p>Here was a young lady who had everything in the world to be bitter about, who was not bitter.\u00a0 I thought to myself, \u201cI want that.\u00a0 I want what she has.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You need to tell them what she had.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 She had a brain tumor.\u00a0 She had a brain tumor.\u00a0 What had happened was that they had gone in and she had been diagnosed with a brain tumor.\u00a0 They thought the brain tumor was benign.\u00a0 When they took the brain tumor out, they found that the wall around this particular part of the brain (which by the way didn\u2019t affect a great deal of her motor or sensory abilities) was malignant on the edges.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the part of the story that is heavenly.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what happened to Katherine.\u00a0 As I have gone back and asked individuals about who Katherine is, I have never been able to locate information about her.\u00a0 People have questioned this, and I\u2019ve had my skeptical friends say it certainly can\u2019t be, but I believe she was an angel.<\/p>\n<p>I believe she was put in that place, in a means by which I could understand her.\u00a0 Just like God becomes like us, God became like me \u2013 a hurting teenager \u2013 and stepped into the midst of my story, so that I could understand what it meant to have grace.\u00a0 It was because of that angel - that relationship - that I began to . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She quoted C.S. Lewis to you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 She <em>loved <\/em>C.S. Lewis, and that became my sort of hobby over those next few weeks.\u00a0 I read <em>Mere Christianity<\/em>.\u00a0 I remembered the quote, you know, \u201cHow can you call a crooked line crooked if you don\u2019t have an understanding of a straight line?\u201d\u00a0 That was the one quote that she loved more than anything else.<\/p>\n<p>She kept saying, \u201cShane, you look around and you see all the problems with the world, but why do you know they\u2019re a problem?\u00a0 Why do you know this isn\u2019t normal?\u00a0 It\u2019s because deep down in your soul you know there has to be something better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know, I mean, this is a teenager who is dying who\u2019s talking in this kind of language.\u00a0 That\u2019s profound.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you start thinking, \u201cWell, I want to go to Disney World before I die, and I want to go to Paris, and I want to do this and this and this?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, what I thought more than anything else was just, \u201cI want to pretend like this isn\u2019t here.\u201d\u00a0 I remember saying to several people that I went back and started hitting shag balls.\u00a0 I went and started practicing the next day again.\u00a0 I had tournaments coming up.\u00a0 I needed to get back to life.<\/p>\n<p>That is not a quality that has gone unvalued in my life.\u00a0 You know, some psychologists call it denial.\u00a0 I call it moving on.\u00a0 I mean, there\u2019s only so much that you can do in the trenches.\u00a0 You finally have to crawl out of the trench and go fight the fight.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you had been fighting it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Since you were six months old.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was my life.\u00a0 My life had been that whatever the situation was, you faced it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re not a quitter.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not at all.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that\u2019s really what you and your grandpa talked about.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, my grandfather and I - after my parents\u2019 divorce \u2013 he became the person in my life that I counted on the most.\u00a0 We had a place where we would go.\u00a0 At first, it was a little place in an orchard where we would go and sit and, you know, kind of just spend some time together on Sunday mornings.\u00a0 It shifted to a hill overlooking a golf course later on, of course.<\/p>\n<p>I remember on this particular day, we were sitting there.\u00a0 You have that feeling that somebody wants to say something to you, and you know you want to say something to someone, but no one will start the first words.\u00a0 That\u2019s what happened, and finally my grandfather looked over at me and he said, \u201cSo, what are you going to do with this thing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He wouldn\u2019t even call it by the letters.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t say AIDS or HIV.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat are you going to do with this thing?\u201d\u00a0 I looked over at him and I said, \u201cI don\u2019t think I have a choice.\u00a0 There\u2019s really not much I <em>can <\/em>do.\u201d\u00a0 My grandfather was such a sweet-spirited man, but when he said things that he wanted you to remember, he had that tone in his voice that you knew that these words were important.<\/p>\n<p>He said, \u201cSon, you <em>always<\/em> have a choice.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cNow, you can get in the corner and you can feel sorry for yourself.\u201d\u00a0 He said, you know, \u201cI love you so much that I\u2019ll get in the corner and have that pity party with you if that\u2019s what you choose.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201c. . . but I think you\u2019re going to choose a better way.\u00a0 I think you\u2019re going to choose to make every day count.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He said, \u201cNo matter how many days you have, every day\u2019s going to matter.\u201d\u00a0 I can remember leaving that hillside thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s what I want.\u00a0 I want every day to count.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I have to say that God has answered those prayers because I believe that the journey has meant something.\u00a0 I believe that, if nothing else, if people can look at this journey, they learn two things:\u00a0 number one, never, never give up, because (number two) there is nothing that will separate you from the love of Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that\u2019s really where I want our broadcast to conclude.\u00a0 Maybe a listener is hearing you right now, and that person is saying, \u201cI want what Shane has.\u00a0 I want the perspective of life where I experience the grace of God through Jesus Christ like you\u2019re talking about.\u201d\u00a0 What should that person do?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I tell people that, number one, you have to get out of your own way.\u00a0 You have to learn how to really love Jesus.\u00a0 If you learn how to love Jesus on the terms that Jesus offers for you to love Him, it is life-transforming because God doesn\u2019t hold anything back from you.\u00a0 When you seek after His face, when you seek after His heart, there\u2019s nothing that He will withhold from you, Scripture says.\u00a0 He wants to fill you up with His Spirit; He wants to fill you up with His presence.<\/p>\n<p>Then the second thing that happens is that the more you get filled up by loving Jesus, the more you need to go love <em>like <\/em>Jesus, because the more you love like Jesus, the more then you become that blessing.\u00a0 I tell people all the time that the tendency when we receive negative news, when we receive a burden, is the tendency according to the world that we pack that in and we try to hold onto it ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>But what does Jesus say?\u00a0 Jesus says, \u201cCome unto me those of you who are heavy-burdened and give it over to Me, turn it over to Me.\u00a0 I want to carry this for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If we can learn to turn that over, including the places where we are most prideful, then not only are we going to be filled up, but we\u2019re also going to become that blessing for somebody else.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we have a resource that we send out to folks who contact us requesting more information about what it means to have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.\u00a0 It\u2019s a booklet by our friend Jim Elliff called <em>Pursuing God<\/em>.\u00a0 If you\u2019re listening today, and you don\u2019t know what it means to walk with Christ, to have a relationship with Him, to be His child, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of this book.<\/p>\n<p>All you have to do is call 1-800-FLTODAY and request it.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-F as in \u201cfamily,\u201d L as in \u201clife,\u201d and then the word \u201ctoday.\u201d\u00a0 Or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and leave us your information.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you a copy of the book <em>Pursuing God, <\/em>by Jim Elliff.\u00a0 Our hope is that that book will help you better understand what we trust is going on in your own heart as you are responding to the grace of God and to hearing about the death and resurrection of Jesus on your behalf.<\/p>\n<p>Again, ask about the book <em>Pursuing God <\/em>when you get in touch with us at 1-800-FLTODAY, and you might also want to ask about the book that Shane has written called <em>A Positive Life<\/em>.\u00a0 It tells his story and talks about a number of the powerful lessons he has learned as he has lived now, for a couple of decades, as an HIV-positive husband and father.<\/p>\n<p>You can request the book online at FamilyLifeToday.com or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY and ask about the book <em>A Positive Life <\/em>by Shane Stanford.\u00a0 We\u2019ll make arrangements when you call to get a copy of it sent out to you.<\/p>\n<p>You know, we appreciate everyone who listens to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>In fact, we wish, at times, that we could just get everyone together in the same room and we could have a big, ongoing conversation.\u00a0 The closest thing to that that we\u2019ve been able to come up with is the live blog that we have on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We have a transcript of each day\u2019s program, and below that is an opportunity for listeners to respond to what we\u2019ve been talking about on the program, to ask questions, or to interact with one another.<\/p>\n<p>You can go to FamiyLIfeToday.com and just scroll down to the transcript and look below it.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see some of the posts that folks have left on the blog.\u00a0 We do appreciate your comments about the program.\u00a0 We also want to thank those of you who help support the program.\u00a0 We\u2019re listener-supported and your financial support is what keeps us on the air on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.<\/p>\n<p>This month, if you can make a donation to help support us, we\u2019d like to send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s new devotional book for families.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Growing Together in Truth.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Barbara includes seven stories that are designed to be read aloud to a family for family devotions or around the dinner table at night, all of these stories helping to reinforce the idea that God\u2019s Word is true and that we need to believe what it says, even in a culture that denies it or wants to contradict it.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ll send you a copy of <em>Growing Together in Truth<\/em> when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>this month.\u00a0 All you have to do is type the word TRUTH into the key code box that you find on the online donation form, or when you call 1-800-FLTODAY, ask for a copy of the <em>Growing Together in Truth<\/em> devotional from Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 We\u2019re happy to send it out to you.<\/p>\n<p>We do so appreciate you getting in touch with us and helping us out here at <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We want to encourage you to join us back tomorrow when Shane Stanford\u2019s going to be here again.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear tomorrow about how you proposed to your wife and began your marriage together.\u00a0 Again, considering that you were HIV positive at the time, that will be an interesting story for our listeners to hear.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.<\/p>\n<p>Help for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n"],"duration":["00:"],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.51M"],"filesize_raw":["25700384"],"_edit_lock":["1736451679:47000"],"_edit_last":["47000"],"theme_header_position":["Sticky"],"post_header_is_sticky":["default"],"is_header_overlay":["0"],"episode_type":["audio"],"date_recorded":["2011-10-10 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comes with choices.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-10.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0Shane Stanford was sixteen years old when he got the heart-breaking news: because of a tainted transfusion, Shane was HIV positive.<\/p>\n<p>He remembers having a conversation with his grandfather not long after that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I remember on this particular day, we were sitting there.\u00a0 You have that feeling that somebody wants to say something to you, and you know you want to say something to someone, but no one will start the first words.\u00a0 That\u2019s what happened, and finally my grandfather looked over at me and he said, \u201cSo, what are you going to do with this thing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He wouldn\u2019t say AIDS or HIV.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat are you going to do with this thing?\u201d\u00a0 I looked over at him and I said, \u201cI don\u2019t think I have a choice.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cSon, you always have a choice.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today\u00ae<\/em> for Monday, October 10<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Shane Stanford joins us today to talk about a number of the choices he has made since first learning that he was HIV positive.<\/p>\n<p>And welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.<\/p>\n<p>You know, I think it was probably 25 years ago when I first heard about the HIV virus and about AIDS.\u00a0 At that point, in the late \u201880s, there were a lot of questions.\u00a0 We didn\u2019t know where it came from; we didn\u2019t know how to curb it.\u00a0 I remember warnings that you shouldn\u2019t eat at a salad bar or swim in the local community pool because you might get AIDS.\u00a0 It was an alarming disease.<\/p>\n<p>We live in a different era today, and thanks to medical science we have a little more control over what\u2019s going on with the AIDS virus, but I think we need to remember that this disease still devastates a lot of families.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really does.\u00a0 We have the privilege today of hearing really a God story.\u00a0 In fact, as I was thinking about introducing our guest on the broadcast today, Shane Stanford, I thought of this verse that Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 15, verse 10:\u00a0 \u201cBut by the grace of God, I am what I am.\u00a0 His grace toward me was not in vain.\u201d\u00a0 Your story is a story of great grace and a story of heroic faith on your part.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d like to welcome you to the broadcast, and I want our listeners to stay tuned because they\u2019re going to hear a great story today.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, thank you very much.\u00a0 I can\u2019t tell you how happy I am to be a part of this.\u00a0 I appreciate you guys and all you do.\u00a0 You do a great work!\u00a0 This ministry has made a difference in my life in very personal ways.\u00a0 Maybe I get a chance to share that today.<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re right.\u00a0 It is still an alarming disease, Bob.\u00a0 That is a point that needs to be made.\u00a0 It is still the number one killer for young women, ages 18-25.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Anybody who gets the news, \u201cYou\u2019re positive with HIV,\u201d their life changes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Their life changes.\u00a0 Their relationships change.\u00a0 The way that they should handle and make decisions should change.\u00a0 This is still a disease that is killing people around the world.\u00a0 Just because we have medicines that can change that does not negate the power of a virus that will affect your body in very profound ways.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Shane, you\u2019re a pastor.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ve written a book called <em>A Positive Life<\/em> which is a story about how you have been living with HIV, not only as a pastor, but also as a husband and a father.\u00a0 It\u2019s just a great story of God\u2019s work in your life.<\/p>\n<p>I want to take you all the way back to the beginning, though.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your childhood was checkered with some amazing news, right off the start.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was.\u00a0 From the very beginning, being a hemophiliac, I was six months old when I fell trying to walk like most children do, and I cut my lip.\u00a0 We could not figure out why I could not stop bleeding.\u00a0 My grandfather, who was also a hemophiliac, my mother\u2019s father, had died when my mom was 12 years old.\u00a0 Everyone in the family had forgotten that he was a hemophiliac.<\/p>\n<p>The way hemophilia is passed from one generation to the next is that it goes from male to female to male.\u00a0 So, women are carriers; males are hemophiliacs.\u00a0 It was a doctor in a very small town in southern Mississippi who finally asked the question, \u201cDo you have hemophilia in your background?\u201d\u00a0 After remembering about my grandfather, they said, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I was diagnosed at the age of six months and a few days.\u00a0 We went from there.\u00a0 At first, for probably the first six or seven years of my life, there was really no treatment other than a very complicated regimen of blood transfusions.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Explain what life is like for a two year-old, three year-old, four year-old who\u2019s a hemophiliac.\u00a0 Does that mean that if you skin your knee, you\u2019re in life-threatening danger?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, it depends.\u00a0 There are variations of hemophilia.\u00a0 You can be a major, severe case of hemophilia, or you can be mild.\u00a0 I\u2019m mild.\u00a0 Usually what that means is that if I cut myself, I\u2019m going to bleed a little bit longer.\u00a0 For instance, if you cut yourself, Dennis, you\u2019re going to be 29 seconds clotting.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to be 46 seconds.<\/p>\n<p>So that extra 17 seconds makes a difference when that blood continues to flow.\u00a0 The primary problem for hemophiliacs, though, is what happens internally.\u00a0 Your joints \u2013 if you hurt a joint, it doesn\u2019t heal.\u00a0 If you hurt your muscles, they don\u2019t heal the way that they should heal.\u00a0 So you basically grow up with injuries that become self-sustaining almost.<\/p>\n<p>For a three or four year-old, imagine the number of times that you fall and bust your knee or you do something to your hand or bust your nose or lip.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or twist your ankle.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Or twist your ankle, yes.\u00a0 Those are events that, for a hemophiliac, they don\u2019t just heal.\u00a0 You can imagine the stress.\u00a0 My father was really not around.\u00a0 He was not as active as he needed to be.\u00a0 My mom was basically a single mom.\u00a0 She was very young when she had me.\u00a0 You can imagine having a child and you don\u2019t know very much about the disease, who keeps bleeding and hurting himself and not healing.<\/p>\n<p>So I grew up with a mom who was learning along the way.\u00a0 Thankfully, she\u2019s a great godly woman, but at the same time, you know, we grew up together in a lot of issues.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, that disease not only took a toll on your life, but also must have taken a toll on your parents\u2019 marriage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 It did.\u00a0 In fact, two days after Christmas in 1976, my father came home from lunch, which was a rarity.\u00a0 He never came home from work.\u00a0 He told me that my parents were getting a divorce.\u00a0 They had actually gotten a divorce that day.\u00a0 I remember thinking to myself that my world was coming to an end.<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t know anything about divorce.\u00a0 I just knew that my parents didn\u2019t spend a lot of time together, so I didn\u2019t know about a healthy marriage either, but to have my father then all of the sudden pack his clothes and leave at the age of six \u2013 that was tough.<\/p>\n<p>I remember going outside - we lived on a college campus because my dad worked for a local community college as the Public Relations Director \u2013 and sitting in the front yard,\u00a0\u00a0 I just began to cry, and I remember a few minutes into that I looked up and coming down the road was an old, beat up, red pickup truck.\u00a0 It was my grandfather.\u00a0 That was really the first time that my grandfather would become my hero and my rescuer for a lot of things in my life.\u00a0 He would play an important part in the HIV diagnosis as well.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 He ended up being the model \u2013 the male mentor \u2013 in your life.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 He did.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So that as a teenager, when you were diagnosed, he stepped into your life in a significant way.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 He did, and it might be helpful for me to say that around the age of seven or eight, there was a major discovery in hemophilia called \u201cfactor.\u201d\u00a0 Most of us were missing a particular factor that causes us not to be able to clot or heal.\u00a0 I\u2019m missing the \u201cA factor.\u201d\u00a0 They developed a replacement therapy, where you could take a medicine that was made of human blood donations; it would take about thirty donations to make one dose of that.<\/p>\n<p>If I took three doses per day, then I was taking blood from around 90 different people.\u00a0 This was a miracle drug, because what it did was replace the factor we were missing.\u00a0 So I clotted much quicker, healed much better, and we really thought that hemophilia --\u00a0 within a matter of a few years that we would be taking a pill, that we would be able to live with this chronically, at the very least \u2013 that our lives were going to change.<\/p>\n<p>That was until around 1981, 1982, when the first cases of hemophiliacs becoming sick with the same virus that was plaguing gay men in San Francisco hit the news.\u00a0 Come to find out, the HIV virus was actually in the blood supply.\u00a0 Hemophiliacs were taking factor that had been made from blood donations that were already infected with HIV.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you were a teenager, again, having already received these blood donors with tainted blood, you were also at the time exceling at sports?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You became quite an accomplished golfer?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I love what you wrote about in your book.\u00a0 In your journal, you quoted yourself (as a sixteen year-old, I guess), saying \u201cMan, I just shot 78 from the tips.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right; from the tips.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 All the way back, sixteen years old.\u00a0 That day was to be an important day in your life \u2013 not for your golf game, but for the news you received.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 Later on that afternoon, I was told to go by my doctor\u2019s office; that the doctor needed to talk to me about something.\u00a0 We had been informed a couple of years before about the possibility that there were viruses in the blood supply.\u00a0 They had taken me off of factor, and I was taking some other factor-raising drugs at that time.<\/p>\n<p>What had happened was that we had not done it soon enough.\u00a0 The doctor informed me that the medicine used to treat my hemophilia had indeed been contaminated with HIV and that I was HIV positive.\u00a0 I had been tested as I was having eye surgery, and they actually had waited several months because it was such a traumatic diagnosis.<\/p>\n<p>There were no medicines at that time.\u00a0 If a person was diagnosed with HIV, it was usually profoundly aggressive and they would have around two to three years.\u00a0 That was what I was told; that I had two to three years to live.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you go into that doctor\u2019s appointment as a sixteen year-old all by yourself?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I went by myself and found the news out by myself and left by myself.\u00a0 It was surreal.\u00a0 I tell people that I went to bed the night before as the captain of the golf team and president of my class, dating the prettiest girl in school, and the very next day was told that I had two to three years to live.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How did you process that?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, God does -- I don\u2019t believe in coincidences.\u00a0 Three months prior to that, I had accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord of my life.\u00a0 I had gone to church all my life; I had walked the aisle as an eight year-old, but I really didn\u2019t get it.\u00a0 I was truly transformed just a few months prior.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 There had been a young lady in your life who had been in the hospital where you were staying.\u00a0 Tell the story about the impact she had in your life.\u00a0 This was like an angel sent.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I still believe she\u2019s an angel.\u00a0 Her name was Katherine and as I was in the hospital recovering from eye surgery - I have a disease completely separate from the hemophilia where my corneas actually will degenerate -- so I was having a cornea transplant.\u00a0 I remember one night I was fussing.\u00a0 I was sixteen years old and I was in the children\u2019s ward of the hospital.\u00a0 I heard these groans and these moans from the room next to me.<\/p>\n<p>I remember leaving.\u00a0 No one was staying with me that evening, and I went over to the next room and there was just a beautiful young lady.\u00a0 Her head was bandaged, but her face was just gorgeous.\u00a0 She had these beautiful eyes.\u00a0 She was just hurting terribly.\u00a0 I quickly stepped out of the room, but the next day I walked back over and she was sitting on the edge of her bed.<\/p>\n<p>I went in and began to talk to her.\u00a0 I say in the book that she\u2019s the type of girl that you either wanted to marry or elect president or both.\u00a0 She knew about politics and about God and about SEC football.\u00a0 I mean, she was one of these that could talk about anything.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 What else would a man want?!<\/p>\n<p>(laughter)<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 What else do you need?\u00a0 That\u2019s right!<\/p>\n<p>It was a conversation with her that reminded me about the power and the grace of God and how Jesus Christ came so that our lives personally \u2013 your life, my life, our hearts \u2013 would not be the same again.\u00a0 No matter what we went through, we would not be the same again.\u00a0 It was not just words.<\/p>\n<p>Here was a young lady who had everything in the world to be bitter about, who was not bitter.\u00a0 I thought to myself, \u201cI want that.\u00a0 I want what she has.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You need to tell them what she had.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 She had a brain tumor.\u00a0 She had a brain tumor.\u00a0 What had happened was that they had gone in and she had been diagnosed with a brain tumor.\u00a0 They thought the brain tumor was benign.\u00a0 When they took the brain tumor out, they found that the wall around this particular part of the brain (which by the way didn\u2019t affect a great deal of her motor or sensory abilities) was malignant on the edges.<\/p>\n<p>Here\u2019s the part of the story that is heavenly.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know what happened to Katherine.\u00a0 As I have gone back and asked individuals about who Katherine is, I have never been able to locate information about her.\u00a0 People have questioned this, and I\u2019ve had my skeptical friends say it certainly can\u2019t be, but I believe she was an angel.<\/p>\n<p>I believe she was put in that place, in a means by which I could understand her.\u00a0 Just like God becomes like us, God became like me \u2013 a hurting teenager \u2013 and stepped into the midst of my story, so that I could understand what it meant to have grace.\u00a0 It was because of that angel - that relationship - that I began to . . .<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 She quoted C.S. Lewis to you?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 She <em>loved <\/em>C.S. Lewis, and that became my sort of hobby over those next few weeks.\u00a0 I read <em>Mere Christianity<\/em>.\u00a0 I remembered the quote, you know, \u201cHow can you call a crooked line crooked if you don\u2019t have an understanding of a straight line?\u201d\u00a0 That was the one quote that she loved more than anything else.<\/p>\n<p>She kept saying, \u201cShane, you look around and you see all the problems with the world, but why do you know they\u2019re a problem?\u00a0 Why do you know this isn\u2019t normal?\u00a0 It\u2019s because deep down in your soul you know there has to be something better.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>You know, I mean, this is a teenager who is dying who\u2019s talking in this kind of language.\u00a0 That\u2019s profound.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you start thinking, \u201cWell, I want to go to Disney World before I die, and I want to go to Paris, and I want to do this and this and this?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, what I thought more than anything else was just, \u201cI want to pretend like this isn\u2019t here.\u201d\u00a0 I remember saying to several people that I went back and started hitting shag balls.\u00a0 I went and started practicing the next day again.\u00a0 I had tournaments coming up.\u00a0 I needed to get back to life.<\/p>\n<p>That is not a quality that has gone unvalued in my life.\u00a0 You know, some psychologists call it denial.\u00a0 I call it moving on.\u00a0 I mean, there\u2019s only so much that you can do in the trenches.\u00a0 You finally have to crawl out of the trench and go fight the fight.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you had been fighting it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I had.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Since you were six months old.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was my life.\u00a0 My life had been that whatever the situation was, you faced it.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re not a quitter.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not at all.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that\u2019s really what you and your grandpa talked about.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, my grandfather and I - after my parents\u2019 divorce \u2013 he became the person in my life that I counted on the most.\u00a0 We had a place where we would go.\u00a0 At first, it was a little place in an orchard where we would go and sit and, you know, kind of just spend some time together on Sunday mornings.\u00a0 It shifted to a hill overlooking a golf course later on, of course.<\/p>\n<p>I remember on this particular day, we were sitting there.\u00a0 You have that feeling that somebody wants to say something to you, and you know you want to say something to someone, but no one will start the first words.\u00a0 That\u2019s what happened, and finally my grandfather looked over at me and he said, \u201cSo, what are you going to do with this thing?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He wouldn\u2019t even call it by the letters.\u00a0 He wouldn\u2019t say AIDS or HIV.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat are you going to do with this thing?\u201d\u00a0 I looked over at him and I said, \u201cI don\u2019t think I have a choice.\u00a0 There\u2019s really not much I <em>can <\/em>do.\u201d\u00a0 My grandfather was such a sweet-spirited man, but when he said things that he wanted you to remember, he had that tone in his voice that you knew that these words were important.<\/p>\n<p>He said, \u201cSon, you <em>always<\/em> have a choice.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cNow, you can get in the corner and you can feel sorry for yourself.\u201d\u00a0 He said, you know, \u201cI love you so much that I\u2019ll get in the corner and have that pity party with you if that\u2019s what you choose.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201c. . . but I think you\u2019re going to choose a better way.\u00a0 I think you\u2019re going to choose to make every day count.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He said, \u201cNo matter how many days you have, every day\u2019s going to matter.\u201d\u00a0 I can remember leaving that hillside thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s what I want.\u00a0 I want every day to count.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I have to say that God has answered those prayers because I believe that the journey has meant something.\u00a0 I believe that, if nothing else, if people can look at this journey, they learn two things:\u00a0 number one, never, never give up, because (number two) there is nothing that will separate you from the love of Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And that\u2019s really where I want our broadcast to conclude.\u00a0 Maybe a listener is hearing you right now, and that person is saying, \u201cI want what Shane has.\u00a0 I want the perspective of life where I experience the grace of God through Jesus Christ like you\u2019re talking about.\u201d\u00a0 What should that person do?<\/p>\n<p><strong>Shane:<\/strong>\u00a0 I tell people that, number one, you have to get out of your own way.\u00a0 You have to learn how to really love Jesus.\u00a0 If you learn how to love Jesus on the terms that Jesus offers for you to love Him, it is life-transforming because God doesn\u2019t hold anything back from you.\u00a0 When you seek after His face, when you seek after His heart, there\u2019s nothing that He will withhold from you, Scripture says.\u00a0 He wants to fill you up with His Spirit; He wants to fill you up with His presence.<\/p>\n<p>Then the second thing that happens is that the more you get filled up by loving Jesus, the more you need to go love <em>like <\/em>Jesus, because the more you love like Jesus, the more then you become that blessing.\u00a0 I tell people all the time that the tendency when we receive negative news, when we receive a burden, is the tendency according to the world that we pack that in and we try to hold onto it ourselves.<\/p>\n<p>But what does Jesus say?\u00a0 Jesus says, \u201cCome unto me those of you who are heavy-burdened and give it over to Me, turn it over to Me.\u00a0 I want to carry this for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>If we can learn to turn that over, including the places where we are most prideful, then not only are we going to be filled up, but we\u2019re also going to become that blessing for somebody else.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, we have a resource that we send out to folks who contact us requesting more information about what it means to have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ.\u00a0 It\u2019s a booklet by our friend Jim Elliff called <em>Pursuing God<\/em>.\u00a0 If you\u2019re listening today, and you don\u2019t know what it means to walk with Christ, to have a relationship with Him, to be His child, we\u2019d love to send you a copy of this book.<\/p>\n<p>All you have to do is call 1-800-FLTODAY and request it.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-F as in \u201cfamily,\u201d L as in \u201clife,\u201d and then the word \u201ctoday.\u201d\u00a0 Or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com and leave us your information.\u00a0 We\u2019ll send you a copy of the book <em>Pursuing God, <\/em>by Jim Elliff.\u00a0 Our hope is that that book will help you better understand what we trust is going on in your own heart as you are responding to the grace of God and to hearing about the death and resurrection of Jesus on your behalf.<\/p>\n<p>Again, ask about the book <em>Pursuing God <\/em>when you get in touch with us at 1-800-FLTODAY, and you might also want to ask about the book that Shane has written called <em>A Positive Life<\/em>.\u00a0 It tells his story and talks about a number of the powerful lessons he has learned as he has lived now, for a couple of decades, as an HIV-positive husband and father.<\/p>\n<p>You can request the book online at FamilyLifeToday.com or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY and ask about the book <em>A Positive Life <\/em>by Shane Stanford.\u00a0 We\u2019ll make arrangements when you call to get a copy of it sent out to you.<\/p>\n<p>You know, we appreciate everyone who listens to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>In fact, we wish, at times, that we could just get everyone together in the same room and we could have a big, ongoing conversation.\u00a0 The closest thing to that that we\u2019ve been able to come up with is the live blog that we have on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 We have a transcript of each day\u2019s program, and below that is an opportunity for listeners to respond to what we\u2019ve been talking about on the program, to ask questions, or to interact with one another.<\/p>\n<p>You can go to FamiyLIfeToday.com and just scroll down to the transcript and look below it.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see some of the posts that folks have left on the blog.\u00a0 We do appreciate your comments about the program.\u00a0 We also want to thank those of you who help support the program.\u00a0 We\u2019re listener-supported and your financial support is what keeps us on the air on this station and on our network of stations all across the country.<\/p>\n<p>This month, if you can make a donation to help support us, we\u2019d like to send you a copy of Barbara Rainey\u2019s new devotional book for families.\u00a0 It\u2019s called <em>Growing Together in Truth.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Barbara includes seven stories that are designed to be read aloud to a family for family devotions or around the dinner table at night, all of these stories helping to reinforce the idea that God\u2019s Word is true and that we need to believe what it says, even in a culture that denies it or wants to contradict it.<\/p>\n<p>We\u2019ll send you a copy of <em>Growing Together in Truth<\/em> when you support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>this month.\u00a0 All you have to do is type the word TRUTH into the key code box that you find on the online donation form, or when you call 1-800-FLTODAY, ask for a copy of the <em>Growing Together in Truth<\/em> devotional from Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 We\u2019re happy to send it out to you.<\/p>\n<p>We do so appreciate you getting in touch with us and helping us out here at <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>We want to encourage you to join us back tomorrow when Shane Stanford\u2019s going to be here again.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to hear tomorrow about how you proposed to your wife and began your marriage together.\u00a0 Again, considering that you were HIV positive at the time, that will be an interesting story for our listeners to hear.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.<\/p>\n<p>Help for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.<\/p>\n<p>We are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?<\/p>\n<p>Copyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a><\/p>\n","theme_header_position":"Sticky","post_header_is_sticky":"default","is_header_overlay":"0"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302376","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302376"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302376"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302376"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302376"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}