{"id":302374,"date":"2011-10-06T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-10-06T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/grace-the-gospels-answer-to-disgrace\/"},"modified":"2024-10-07T22:57:44","modified_gmt":"2024-10-08T02:57:44","slug":"grace-the-gospels-answer-to-disgrace","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/grace-the-gospels-answer-to-disgrace\/","title":{"rendered":"Grace:  The Gospel\u2019s Answer to Disgrace"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Does the sexual abuse you suffered make you feel like a disgrace?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-06.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"24.64M","filesize_raw":"25831811","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2873],"tags":[4129,2989,2320,2991],"podcast_series":[7830],"cwp_profile":[8833],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302374","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-homosexuality","tag-pornography","tag-purity","tag-sex","podcast_series-rid-of-my-disgrace","cwp_profile-justin-holcomb","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302374\/grace-the-gospels-answer-to-disgrace","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302374\/grace-the-gospels-answer-to-disgrace","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"HnRU13GP7L\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/grace-the-gospels-answer-to-disgrace\/\">Grace:  The Gospel\u2019s Answer to Disgrace<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/grace-the-gospels-answer-to-disgrace\/embed\/#?secret=HnRU13GP7L\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Grace:  The Gospel\u2019s Answer to Disgrace&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"HnRU13GP7L\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-06.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-06.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin Holcomb says, \u201cOur definition of what constitutes sexual assault may be too narrow.\u201d\u00a0 He says, \u201cThere are teenagers who experienced sexual assault who maybe didn\u2019t even realize that\u2019s what it was when it was happening.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve had in my counseling office\u2014I\u2019ve had people who\u2019ve said, \u201cThis is how I am feeling.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019ve started describing the effects of sexual assault.\u00a0 I would ask gently, \u201cHas there been any instances of abuse: emotional, physical?\u201d and I\u2019d throw in, \u201csexual\u201d in the mix of the list I\u2019m giving people.\u00a0 They would say, \u201cWell, there was this\u2014when I was 16, there was this boy under the bleachers.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 6th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I am Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk today with Justin Holcomb about what constitutes sexual abuse and about whether you may have experienced it in your past.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We are dealing this week with a subject that is a sensitive subject.\u00a0 One of the reasons that we are spending some time with this\u2014even though it is uncomfortable and sensitive\u2014and again, something you may not want to have kids tuned into; but it is so prevalent, Dennis.\u00a0 It\u2019s so much a part of the experience of so many people; and yet, it\u2019s not talked about very often.\u00a0 We just feel there is a real need to address this subject and look at what the Scriptures have to say about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 We are going to talk about sexual assault.\u00a0 Just as we get started here, before I introduce our guest, I just have to wonder if this sexually-saturated culture we live in, with all the pornography on the internet, with now, not just a decade, but <em>decades<\/em> of promiscuous behavior and warped thinking around sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just have to wonder if this is not a huge problem across our nation\u2014people, who have been sexually-assaulted, and who, as our guest has said, have really been imprisoned in their blame and really feeling shameful about what happened.\u00a0 We\u2019re hoping that perhaps this will give folks a biblical grid, a way of processing this, to find a way of hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to welcome our guest, Justin Holcomb, back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Justin, thanks for taking the journey all the way from the Northwest, down to Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 We\u2019re glad you came.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s my pleasure to be here and talking about the Gospel and how it applies to this kind of suffering.\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin was, until yesterday, one the pastoral staff of Mars Hill Church in Seattle when we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you declared him senior pastor\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Senior pastor taking over for Mark Driscoll\u2014\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did preach once\u2014no, twice, in the past two years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s good!\u00a0 That\u2019s good.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry I cost you your job, though.\u00a0 I\u2019m kidding on all that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe and his wife, Lindsey, have been married since 2006.\u00a0 They have two daughters, and they have coauthored a book called <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>.\u00a0 Explain the title because you\u2019ve got a line\u2014the cover is black and in white you have \u201cRid of My Disgrace,\u201d but you have a red line through the words \u201cRid of My Dis\u201d and \u201cGrace\u201d is in white.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it is bold.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s on purpose.\u00a0 It is straight from 2 Samuel 13.\u00a0 Tamar was assaulted by her brother.\u00a0 That was the question that she had after she was sinned against, \u201cWho will rid me of my disgrace?\u201d\u00a0 We answer that question, \u201cJesus is the One who will rid you of your disgrace.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we wanted people to see on the title is the whole message of the book\u2014that there is disgrace by what happened; and the Gospel rids it.\u00a0 It erases it, and all it leaves is grace\u2014louder and bolder than the disgrace that was there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you address this subject, you\u2019re expanding the whole idea of sexual assault.\u00a0 You really define it with a little broader definition because we sometimes minimize what has been sexual victimization in our lives, don\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 We\u2019re actually using legal and counseling definitions.\u00a0 It is any sexual contact or behavior that is without consent and that has been obtained through threat, force, manipulation, or coercion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what happens is\u2014the stereotype of what sexual assault is\u2014is \u201cstranger with a weapon, in the bushes in the dark\u201d; and that\u2019s about 20 percent of sexual assault cases.\u00a0 Most of them, 80 percent, know their perpetrator.\u00a0 Most don\u2019t have weapons.\u00a0 They don\u2019t need weapons because they use something that is sometimes more forceful, which is coercion, threat, the threat of shaming, or threat of violence.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we have a narrow definition, we are leaving out a large scope of people who have had devastating things happen to them; but the only category they have is, \u201cSome dark, gross thing that happened to me,\u201d without being able to say, \u201cThat was sexual assault; that was sin.\u201d\u00a0 You were sinned against.\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t an unfortunate thing that happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things we were talking about before we turned the microphones on\u2014you were saying that not only is it not necessarily children, and young girls who are being sexually abused, and young boys\u2014but this goes all the way into the teenage years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Girls are vulnerable at what age?\u00a0 What\u2019s their most vulnerable age?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sixteen to 19-year-old girls are <em>four<\/em> times more likely than the general population to be victims of sexual assault.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to stop you there.\u00a0 Every parent ought to be listening up at this point.\u00a0 Four times more likely <em>between<\/em> the ages of 16 to 19.\u00a0 Here is the thing\u2014I\u2019ve gotten criticized for writing a book a number of years ago called <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt got criticized as being heavy-handed or being legalistic.\u00a0 Well, it was never intended to be used like that.\u00a0 What it is intended to do is call daddies to engage with the young men and to say, \u201cYou know what, young man?\u00a0 I\u2019m entrusting my daughter to you for an evening; and as you go out on a date, I want you to know I\u2019m going to hold you accountable for how you treat her.\u201d\u00a0 Now, you and I both know that does not guarantee that there won\u2019t be sexual assault\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but I\u2019ve got to believe if more dads would do that, the reputation spreads throughout school.\u00a0 \u201cHey, you don\u2019t go near that girl because behind her is Dad.\u00a0 He wants to talk to you.\u201d\u00a0 I know one dad who interviewed the young man.\u00a0 The young man, in the interview, said he wanted to be a fireman when he got out of high school.\u00a0 So, when his daughter went on the date with the guy, he sent a fire extinguisher with her to set in the front sit between them.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay?\u00a0 So, I know what we\u2019re talking about here is kind of funny at a point; but at another point it is really dangerous.\u00a0 Parents have to realize that their daughters are vulnerable.\u00a0 As far as that goes, their sons, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want you to talk for just a moment about date rape and how prevalent it is today in high school and on the college campus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Acquaintance rape and date rape\u2014I mean, it is the same thing.\u00a0 It is commonly known as date rape, which basically means that usually a young woman with a friend\u2014a date or just an acquaintance\u2014those are the people who are most likely to assault her.\u00a0 The people who know her\u2014that there is a closeness with\u2014they are not strangers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happens is\u2014this is where a lot of confusion takes place because if there is coercion or the threat, as we talked about earlier, or even if there is\u2014let\u2019s say they are kissing; and consent for one level of physical intimacy isn\u2019t consent for everything.\u00a0 So, what ends up happening frequently is the young lady will say, \u201cYes.\u00a0 Kiss, hug; and see what happens.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she\u2019ll change her mind and say, \u201cI want to stop right here.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go any further.\u201d\u00a0 The myth is that sexual assault is all biology now\u2014it is about sex.\u00a0 It is mostly about control and power, though.\u00a0 What happens is the myth\u2014we kind of explain that by, \u201cWell, you got the guy\u2019s engine revving; so, what\u2019s he supposed to do?\u00a0 Just turn it off?\u201d\u00a0 Well, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 Sexual assault is not mostly about sex; it\u2019s mostly about control, power, and domination.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what ends up happening is that the young man will start pushing, pressuring, whining, threatening.\u00a0 So, for whatever reason, more happens.\u00a0 Then, the young lady will then start thinking, \u201cWell, I let that happen.\u00a0 I let that happen.\u00a0 I\u2019m responsible for that.\u201d\u00a0 She starts embodying that.\u00a0 That\u2019s where a lot of the confusion comes in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it was a stranger, you can point and say, \u201cI didn\u2019t want that.\u00a0 That was evil.\u201d If it is someone that you actually wanted to spend time with or that you\u2019re friends with, \u201cWhy did I let my guard down?\u00a0 I was wearing a dress, and I guess that\u2019s my responsibility.\u201d\u00a0 They start taking on the responsibility that is the perpetrator\u2019s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, I want to go back to the parents again.\u00a0 You\u2019re a dad of two girls.\u00a0 Now, they are really young right now; but someday they are going to be\u2014they are going to be in the target age range, 16 to19.\u00a0 Without creating some paranoia and fear of never spending anytime with the opposite sex and having <em>deep<\/em> relationships where you trust the other person, what are you going to say to your daughters about lessening their possibility of experiencing date rape?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 You start before they start dating.\u00a0 You don\u2019t start being a dad when there\u2019s just some boy knocking on your door.\u00a0 You start when they\u2019re born.\u00a0 That\u2019s step one.\u00a0 You love them well, consistently, and persistently early on.\u00a0 You don\u2019t just kind of kick into like, \u201cOkay, well, it is game time because there is some guy that wants to date my daughter.\u00a0 I\u2019m getting my shot gun.\u00a0 Ha Ha, Ha.\u201d\u00a0 You start, you plan to raise that young lady with wisdom and grace.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy first daughter\u2019s name is Sophia Grace on purpose\u2014praying for wisdom.\u00a0 Second one is Zoey, which is \u201clife.\u201d\u00a0 Wisdom and grace\u2014I\u2019m wanting both of them!\u00a0 That\u2019s what I want them to experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, my wife and I are realistic about sin in the world, darkness, and devastation.\u00a0 So, at the appropriate ages, you start talking about this.\u00a0 You don\u2019t make it sound like it is something that never happens.\u00a0 You talk about divorce.\u00a0 Some mommies and daddies don\u2019t stay together.\u00a0 That\u2019s why some of your friends\u2014their parents aren\u2019t together.\u00a0 You talk about some of the things that happen at the appropriate times.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when you talk about sex, you talk about how are babies made, and then body parts.\u00a0 You start to talk about some of the things that are not enjoyable to talk about.\u00a0 You say, \u201cThis is a gift from God.\u201d\u00a0 What happens is:\u00a0 Since the Fall, Satan has taken the gift that God has given for you and your husband\u2014he is going to try to twist that as many ways as possible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the very thing that was a picture of God\u2019s goodness, shalom, and peace together, is actually one of the most powerful things to hurt you and cause devastation.\u00a0 So, be on your look out for that.\u00a0 Then, you give them the basic stuff, and you give them the how-to\u2019s:\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t walk at night,\u201d and, \u201cStay in communication with us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe started now, actually, practically\u2014I love wrestling and tickling my little girls, but we taught our little girls to say, \u201cStop,\u201d and, \u201cNo more,\u201d and even sign language.\u00a0 So, if I am tickling my daughter\u2014so, tickling my daughters\u2014my fingers touching her body.\u00a0 As soon as she says, \u201cStop,\u201d stop immediately!\u00a0 So, I want to instill that in her at a pretty early age.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking about this already.\u00a0 We\u2019re planning for it now.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got some conversations that I will have in the next 17 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve been talking about teenage girls who are victimized by teenage boys.\u00a0 We live in a culture today where teenage girls are being taught to be sexual aggressors\u2014not just to be victims, but to pursue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a whole different mindset.\u00a0 There are teenage boys who are having to learn how to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to the strong advances of teenage girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are boys who have been threatened to be outed, \u201cIf you don\u2019t do this, I\u2019ll tell everyone you are gay; and they\u2019ll all believe me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGoing back to what we talked about very early on, just about the highly-sexualized culture.\u00a0 The fact that:\u00a0 27 percent\u2014almost one third of sexual addicts to pornography\u2014 are women or females.\u00a0 So, we\u2019ve opened the flood gates in\u2014most boys and girls see pornography, I think, the average age is 11.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s dropping every year.\u00a0 It\u2019s getting younger and younger.\u00a0 The last time I checked, a few months ago, it was 11 years old.\u00a0 We\u2019ve <em>poisoned<\/em> the hearts, minds, and souls of our children all over the place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me ask you with regard to that\u2014I\u2019m thinking of, again, somebody who is listening now as an adult who is thinking back on their teenage years.\u00a0 They\u2019re going, \u201cYou know, I got pressured into doing stuff that I look back on with regret; but I\u2019ve never really stopped to think of myself as a sexual-assault victim.\u00a0 Should I now start to think of myself that way?\u00a0 Is there a process I need to go through?\u201d or, \u201cIf I\u2019m getting along okay, can I just kind of keep getting along okay?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Praying for wisdom is going to be very important at that point.\u00a0 I\u2019ve talked to some where they\u2019ve said, \u201cI <em>think<\/em> maybe I\u2014I don\u2019t even know\u2014you know, my boyfriend kind of whined a little bit and that was what we did.\u201d\u00a0 If they don\u2019t have any symptoms and there is no\u2014there doesn\u2019t seem to be an effect, I don\u2019t want to <em>create<\/em> a problem where there isn\u2019t one.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the woman says, \u201cNo\u2014I mean\u2014I think that was just sin.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think that it went to that next level against my consent.\u00a0 I thought, through it.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I consented to do that.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go around to just be like looking for an assault everywhere possible in every single nook.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t do anyone any good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I also don\u2019t want to do the denial thing.\u00a0 You have to go between creating sexual assaults out of an experience that really wasn\u2019t and then the other extreme is denial.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, some of those people I\u2019ve had in my counseling office.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had people who have said, \u201cThis is how I\u2019m feeling.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019ve started describing the effects of sexual assault.\u00a0 I would ask gently, \u201cHas there been any instances of abuse: emotional, physical?\u201d and I\u2019d throw in \u201csexual\u201d in the mix of the list I\u2019m giving people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey would say, \u201cWell, there was this\u2014when I was 16, there was this boy under the bleachers.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019ll describe it; and then, they\u2019ll realize, \u201cYes.\u00a0 That actually\u2014\u201d\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t a hidden memory that I, somehow, through counseling <em>unearthed from their deep conscience<\/em>.\u00a0 I just asked them a simple question.\u00a0 They\u2014it just popped in their head, and they said, \u201cYes.\u00a0 That did happen.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think wisdom, praying, and saying, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be foolish, God.\u00a0 Please be gentle, but please be clear at the same time.\u00a0 If there is something I need to pursue here, let\u2019s go.\u201d\u00a0 Again, not creating a mess where you don\u2019t need to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned that a person who is unearthing or uncovering a past sexual assault should find a safe person and begin to express or venture out and do what maybe the most courageous thing they\u2019ve ever done in their life, which is really invite another person into their <em>prison<\/em> and where they are blaming themselves, where they\u2019re full of shame.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAre there other things they need to be aware of as they begin to process what they experienced?\u00a0 I mean, maybe it was an assault as a child, maybe it was date rape, when they were in high school, or college, or as an adult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Something that is very helpful is\u2014thinking through\u2014is telling them first of all, \u201cYou\u2019re not guilty for what happened to you.\u00a0 You were a victim; you\u2019re not <em>guilty<\/em> for being a victim.\u00a0 But, think through how that experience has <em>twisted<\/em> the way you think about things and about how you respond.\u00a0 Is there ways you\u2019ve responded <em>sinfully<\/em> to being sinned against?\u201d\u00a0 So, that\u2019s been very helpful for some people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t want to say, \u201cWell, you were sinned against.\u00a0 That\u2019s why you were promiscuous.\u201d\u00a0 If you look at the people who\u2019ve been sexually assaulted, they either shut down sexually\u2014\u201cSex is dirty and gross!\u201d\u2014they are kind of anti-intimacy and closeness; or hyper-sexualized, promiscuous\u2014or you\u2019re angry\u2014your rage, you\u2019re very controlling and manipulative.\u00a0 Seeing how\u2014because sin and suffering go together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, those who\u2019ve been sinned against, they are suffering.\u00a0 People\u2019s sin creates suffering.\u00a0 They\u2019ve suffered at the hands of someone else.\u00a0 That suffering has likely played itself out in sinful responses.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is not to find a way to blame them and be, \u201cNo.\u00a0 You are guilty here;\u201d but to say, \u201cThink how this has played out in the fabric of your life.\u00a0 Start looking for ways that you actually need to realize what forgiveness and grace looks like.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is compassion for the way you\u2019ve been sinned against.\u00a0 The work of Christ on the cross applies directly to how you\u2019ve been sinned against, but they also apply to the sins you\u2019ve committed.\u00a0 So, there is forgiveness, grace, and mercy for all that.\u00a0 Seeing how they relate is very helpful for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin, speak to the person who has been assaulted and may have begun to think of themselves as \u201cdamaged goods\u201d.\u00a0 You know, \u201cOkay, this happened to me.\u00a0 Maybe somehow I encouraged it.\u00a0 I\u2019m to blame.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s back to what you talked about earlier.\u00a0 How should they reverse that way of thinking about themselves so that they don\u2019t lose their nobility, their dignity, and the plan that God has for them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 To me, this is the <em>heart <\/em>of the response to a victim because the\u2014sexual assault is striking at the identity of who they are.\u00a0 It\u2019s calling them something that\u2014they\u2019re saying, \u201cYou\u2019re filthy, dirty, un-loveable, and worthless.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cDamaged goods\u2019\u201d is the phrase that most people think of themselves.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the joy of being a Christian and speaking to someone else who has faith in Christ, or if they don\u2019t, you can tell them, \u201cThis is what you have in store for you if you trust in Christ.\u00a0 Look at Scripture.\u00a0 You are called the people of God, the child of God.\u00a0 You are called, what Jesus was.\u00a0 Jesus was pure, righteous, holy, blameless, and without spot or blemish.\u00a0 If you have faith in Christ, His robe of righteousness is over you in the\u2014it\u2019s the opposite of what you think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re not\u2014it\u2019s not that you were dirty, and you\u2019re less dirty.\u00a0 It is that you felt like you were dirty; but if you trust in Christ, you are considered perfect, pure, and righteous.\u00a0 You were declared by the Creator of the universe all of these amazing things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo, if you look through Scripture, we\u2014our identity chapter is really going through the entire Bible and saying, \u2018If you\u2019re God\u2019s people, what does He call you?\u2019\u00a0 He calls you <em>amazing, overwhelmingly<\/em> good, and gracious things that are\u2014sexual assault has tried to bestow a demonic, evil identity to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cGod is\u2014He\u2019s <em>redeeming;<\/em> He\u2019s <em>restoring.<\/em>\u00a0 What He\u2019s doing, He\u2019s going to counter <em>way<\/em> stronger than the evil identity.\u00a0 He\u2019s bestowing the child of God, creature of God, image of God, people of God.\u00a0 If you\u2019re God\u2019s, it\u2019s not like, \u2018Oh, you\u2019re the people of God.\u2019\u00a0 It\u2019s a possession thing.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re my kid.\u00a0 You\u2019re my child.\u00a0 I own you.\u00a0 I protect you.\u00a0 I sustain you.\u00a0 I\u2019m here for you.\u00a0 You\u2019re part of the family of God.\u2019\u00a0 That\u2019s a <em>good <\/em>identity.\u00a0 You\u2019re adopted and coheirs with Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s a great spiritual address for your identity:\u00a0 Second Corinthians, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChapter 5, verse 17.\u00a0 \u201cTherefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.\u00a0 The old has passed away.\u00a0 Behold the new has come.\u201d\u00a0 You know, to someone who has been violated, that can be the greatest message of hope to their soul that they do have Christ.\u00a0 They are a <em>new<\/em> creation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just happen to believe, Justin, that in our country right now this is one of the Devil\u2019s shrewdest, most cunning, most powerful ways he\u2019s trying to destroy lives, marriages, families, and legacies.\u00a0 I just\u2014I want to encourage you to get a copy of Justin and Lindsey Holcomb\u2019s book, <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>.\u00a0 You may not only need it for yourself, but you may need to pass it on to a friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I think this is one of those books you may want to have a couple of copies in your home bookshelf because, as you talk with friends or as you interact with folks and you hear stories or you find out things about a friend\u2019s past, this is a great way to be able to hand them a copy of a book that God can use in their lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt maybe that this person isn\u2019t a believer, but this is the kind of book that can help them understand that there is a God who cares about them, even though this horrible thing has happened to them.\u00a0 Again, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, for more information about Justin Holcomb\u2019s book, <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>.\u00a0 Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve also got additional information dealing with sexual assault that you\u2019ll find online, or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d When you get in touch with us, someone on our team can let you know how you can have a copy of Justin\u2019s book sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I should let you know that today\u2019s program was made possible by, well, some folks you probably don\u2019t even know\u2014folks who live in your community, listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on a regular basis, and who from time to time get in touch with us and say, \u201cI want to make a donation to help keep this program on the air.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re listener-supported.\u00a0 So, when folks do that, they help us cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily program.\u00a0 We appreciate your financial support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a regular listener to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and God has in some way used this program in your life, in your marriage, your family\u2014maybe you\u2019ve never made a donation to help support the ministry\u2014we\u2019d love to have you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation, or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, when you make a donation, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of a new devotional for families called <em>Growing Together in Truth<\/em>.\u00a0 This is a new book by Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 It\u2019s a part of the <em>Growing Together<\/em> collection.\u00a0 It\u2019s brand-new.\u00a0 It\u2019s designed to reinforce the idea that there is absolute truth that needs to be embraced and believed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can request your copy of Barbara\u2019s new book by typing the word \u201cTRUTH\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form when you make a donation, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and simply ask for a copy of the book after you make a donation to support the ministry.\u00a0 We do appreciate your support.\u00a0 We just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance for whatever you\u2019re able to do in helping to support the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the very difficult subject of forgiveness.\u00a0 How do we even begin to approach forgiveness with somebody who has sexually assaulted us?\u00a0 We\u2019re going talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope that you can tune in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife\u00ae.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["24.64M"],"filesize_raw":["25831811"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302374.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302374.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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the sexual abuse you suffered make you feel like a disgrace?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-06.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin Holcomb says, \u201cOur definition of what constitutes sexual assault may be too narrow.\u201d\u00a0 He says, \u201cThere are teenagers who experienced sexual assault who maybe didn\u2019t even realize that\u2019s what it was when it was happening.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve had in my counseling office\u2014I\u2019ve had people who\u2019ve said, \u201cThis is how I am feeling.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019ve started describing the effects of sexual assault.\u00a0 I would ask gently, \u201cHas there been any instances of abuse: emotional, physical?\u201d and I\u2019d throw in, \u201csexual\u201d in the mix of the list I\u2019m giving people.\u00a0 They would say, \u201cWell, there was this\u2014when I was 16, there was this boy under the bleachers.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Thursday, October 6th.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I am Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk today with Justin Holcomb about what constitutes sexual abuse and about whether you may have experienced it in your past.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWelcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We are dealing this week with a subject that is a sensitive subject.\u00a0 One of the reasons that we are spending some time with this\u2014even though it is uncomfortable and sensitive\u2014and again, something you may not want to have kids tuned into; but it is so prevalent, Dennis.\u00a0 It\u2019s so much a part of the experience of so many people; and yet, it\u2019s not talked about very often.\u00a0 We just feel there is a real need to address this subject and look at what the Scriptures have to say about it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 We are going to talk about sexual assault.\u00a0 Just as we get started here, before I introduce our guest, I just have to wonder if this sexually-saturated culture we live in, with all the pornography on the internet, with now, not just a decade, but <em>decades<\/em> of promiscuous behavior and warped thinking around sex.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou just have to wonder if this is not a huge problem across our nation\u2014people, who have been sexually-assaulted, and who, as our guest has said, have really been imprisoned in their blame and really feeling shameful about what happened.\u00a0 We\u2019re hoping that perhaps this will give folks a biblical grid, a way of processing this, to find a way of hope.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to welcome our guest, Justin Holcomb, back to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Justin, thanks for taking the journey all the way from the Northwest, down to Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 We\u2019re glad you came.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s my pleasure to be here and talking about the Gospel and how it applies to this kind of suffering.\u00a0 Thank you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin was, until yesterday, one the pastoral staff of Mars Hill Church in Seattle when we\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you declared him senior pastor\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Senior pastor taking over for Mark Driscoll\u2014\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I did preach once\u2014no, twice, in the past two years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s good!\u00a0 That\u2019s good.\u00a0 I\u2019m sorry I cost you your job, though.\u00a0 I\u2019m kidding on all that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHe and his wife, Lindsey, have been married since 2006.\u00a0 They have two daughters, and they have coauthored a book called <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>.\u00a0 Explain the title because you\u2019ve got a line\u2014the cover is black and in white you have \u201cRid of My Disgrace,\u201d but you have a red line through the words \u201cRid of My Dis\u201d and \u201cGrace\u201d is in white.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it is bold.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s on purpose.\u00a0 It is straight from 2 Samuel 13.\u00a0 Tamar was assaulted by her brother.\u00a0 That was the question that she had after she was sinned against, \u201cWho will rid me of my disgrace?\u201d\u00a0 We answer that question, \u201cJesus is the One who will rid you of your disgrace.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat we wanted people to see on the title is the whole message of the book\u2014that there is disgrace by what happened; and the Gospel rids it.\u00a0 It erases it, and all it leaves is grace\u2014louder and bolder than the disgrace that was there.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 As you address this subject, you\u2019re expanding the whole idea of sexual assault.\u00a0 You really define it with a little broader definition because we sometimes minimize what has been sexual victimization in our lives, don\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\u00a0 We\u2019re actually using legal and counseling definitions.\u00a0 It is any sexual contact or behavior that is without consent and that has been obtained through threat, force, manipulation, or coercion.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what happens is\u2014the stereotype of what sexual assault is\u2014is \u201cstranger with a weapon, in the bushes in the dark\u201d; and that\u2019s about 20 percent of sexual assault cases.\u00a0 Most of them, 80 percent, know their perpetrator.\u00a0 Most don\u2019t have weapons.\u00a0 They don\u2019t need weapons because they use something that is sometimes more forceful, which is coercion, threat, the threat of shaming, or threat of violence.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf we have a narrow definition, we are leaving out a large scope of people who have had devastating things happen to them; but the only category they have is, \u201cSome dark, gross thing that happened to me,\u201d without being able to say, \u201cThat was sexual assault; that was sin.\u201d\u00a0 You were sinned against.\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t an unfortunate thing that happened.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 One of the things we were talking about before we turned the microphones on\u2014you were saying that not only is it not necessarily children, and young girls who are being sexually abused, and young boys\u2014but this goes all the way into the teenage years?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Absolutely.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Girls are vulnerable at what age?\u00a0 What\u2019s their most vulnerable age?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sixteen to 19-year-old girls are <em>four<\/em> times more likely than the general population to be victims of sexual assault.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to stop you there.\u00a0 Every parent ought to be listening up at this point.\u00a0 Four times more likely <em>between<\/em> the ages of 16 to 19.\u00a0 Here is the thing\u2014I\u2019ve gotten criticized for writing a book a number of years ago called <em>Interviewing Your Daughter\u2019s Date<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt got criticized as being heavy-handed or being legalistic.\u00a0 Well, it was never intended to be used like that.\u00a0 What it is intended to do is call daddies to engage with the young men and to say, \u201cYou know what, young man?\u00a0 I\u2019m entrusting my daughter to you for an evening; and as you go out on a date, I want you to know I\u2019m going to hold you accountable for how you treat her.\u201d\u00a0 Now, you and I both know that does not guarantee that there won\u2019t be sexual assault\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u2014but I\u2019ve got to believe if more dads would do that, the reputation spreads throughout school.\u00a0 \u201cHey, you don\u2019t go near that girl because behind her is Dad.\u00a0 He wants to talk to you.\u201d\u00a0 I know one dad who interviewed the young man.\u00a0 The young man, in the interview, said he wanted to be a fireman when he got out of high school.\u00a0 So, when his daughter went on the date with the guy, he sent a fire extinguisher with her to set in the front sit between them.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOkay?\u00a0 So, I know what we\u2019re talking about here is kind of funny at a point; but at another point it is really dangerous.\u00a0 Parents have to realize that their daughters are vulnerable.\u00a0 As far as that goes, their sons, too.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want you to talk for just a moment about date rape and how prevalent it is today in high school and on the college campus.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Acquaintance rape and date rape\u2014I mean, it is the same thing.\u00a0 It is commonly known as date rape, which basically means that usually a young woman with a friend\u2014a date or just an acquaintance\u2014those are the people who are most likely to assault her.\u00a0 The people who know her\u2014that there is a closeness with\u2014they are not strangers.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat happens is\u2014this is where a lot of confusion takes place because if there is coercion or the threat, as we talked about earlier, or even if there is\u2014let\u2019s say they are kissing; and consent for one level of physical intimacy isn\u2019t consent for everything.\u00a0 So, what ends up happening frequently is the young lady will say, \u201cYes.\u00a0 Kiss, hug; and see what happens.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, she\u2019ll change her mind and say, \u201cI want to stop right here.\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go any further.\u201d\u00a0 The myth is that sexual assault is all biology now\u2014it is about sex.\u00a0 It is mostly about control and power, though.\u00a0 What happens is the myth\u2014we kind of explain that by, \u201cWell, you got the guy\u2019s engine revving; so, what\u2019s he supposed to do?\u00a0 Just turn it off?\u201d\u00a0 Well, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 Sexual assault is not mostly about sex; it\u2019s mostly about control, power, and domination.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, what ends up happening is that the young man will start pushing, pressuring, whining, threatening.\u00a0 So, for whatever reason, more happens.\u00a0 Then, the young lady will then start thinking, \u201cWell, I let that happen.\u00a0 I let that happen.\u00a0 I\u2019m responsible for that.\u201d\u00a0 She starts embodying that.\u00a0 That\u2019s where a lot of the confusion comes in.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf it was a stranger, you can point and say, \u201cI didn\u2019t want that.\u00a0 That was evil.\u201d If it is someone that you actually wanted to spend time with or that you\u2019re friends with, \u201cWhy did I let my guard down?\u00a0 I was wearing a dress, and I guess that\u2019s my responsibility.\u201d\u00a0 They start taking on the responsibility that is the perpetrator\u2019s.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay, I want to go back to the parents again.\u00a0 You\u2019re a dad of two girls.\u00a0 Now, they are really young right now; but someday they are going to be\u2014they are going to be in the target age range, 16 to19.\u00a0 Without creating some paranoia and fear of never spending anytime with the opposite sex and having <em>deep<\/em> relationships where you trust the other person, what are you going to say to your daughters about lessening their possibility of experiencing date rape?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 You start before they start dating.\u00a0 You don\u2019t start being a dad when there\u2019s just some boy knocking on your door.\u00a0 You start when they\u2019re born.\u00a0 That\u2019s step one.\u00a0 You love them well, consistently, and persistently early on.\u00a0 You don\u2019t just kind of kick into like, \u201cOkay, well, it is game time because there is some guy that wants to date my daughter.\u00a0 I\u2019m getting my shot gun.\u00a0 Ha Ha, Ha.\u201d\u00a0 You start, you plan to raise that young lady with wisdom and grace.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tMy first daughter\u2019s name is Sophia Grace on purpose\u2014praying for wisdom.\u00a0 Second one is Zoey, which is \u201clife.\u201d\u00a0 Wisdom and grace\u2014I\u2019m wanting both of them!\u00a0 That\u2019s what I want them to experience.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, my wife and I are realistic about sin in the world, darkness, and devastation.\u00a0 So, at the appropriate ages, you start talking about this.\u00a0 You don\u2019t make it sound like it is something that never happens.\u00a0 You talk about divorce.\u00a0 Some mommies and daddies don\u2019t stay together.\u00a0 That\u2019s why some of your friends\u2014their parents aren\u2019t together.\u00a0 You talk about some of the things that happen at the appropriate times.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, when you talk about sex, you talk about how are babies made, and then body parts.\u00a0 You start to talk about some of the things that are not enjoyable to talk about.\u00a0 You say, \u201cThis is a gift from God.\u201d\u00a0 What happens is:\u00a0 Since the Fall, Satan has taken the gift that God has given for you and your husband\u2014he is going to try to twist that as many ways as possible.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the very thing that was a picture of God\u2019s goodness, shalom, and peace together, is actually one of the most powerful things to hurt you and cause devastation.\u00a0 So, be on your look out for that.\u00a0 Then, you give them the basic stuff, and you give them the how-to\u2019s:\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t walk at night,\u201d and, \u201cStay in communication with us.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe started now, actually, practically\u2014I love wrestling and tickling my little girls, but we taught our little girls to say, \u201cStop,\u201d and, \u201cNo more,\u201d and even sign language.\u00a0 So, if I am tickling my daughter\u2014so, tickling my daughters\u2014my fingers touching her body.\u00a0 As soon as she says, \u201cStop,\u201d stop immediately!\u00a0 So, I want to instill that in her at a pretty early age.\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking about this already.\u00a0 We\u2019re planning for it now.\u00a0 I\u2019ve got some conversations that I will have in the next 17 years.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 We\u2019ve been talking about teenage girls who are victimized by teenage boys.\u00a0 We live in a culture today where teenage girls are being taught to be sexual aggressors\u2014not just to be victims, but to pursue.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It\u2019s a whole different mindset.\u00a0 There are teenage boys who are having to learn how to say, \u201cNo,\u201d to the strong advances of teenage girls.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 There are boys who have been threatened to be outed, \u201cIf you don\u2019t do this, I\u2019ll tell everyone you are gay; and they\u2019ll all believe me.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGoing back to what we talked about very early on, just about the highly-sexualized culture.\u00a0 The fact that:\u00a0 27 percent\u2014almost one third of sexual addicts to pornography\u2014 are women or females.\u00a0 So, we\u2019ve opened the flood gates in\u2014most boys and girls see pornography, I think, the average age is 11.\u00a0 I mean, it\u2019s dropping every year.\u00a0 It\u2019s getting younger and younger.\u00a0 The last time I checked, a few months ago, it was 11 years old.\u00a0 We\u2019ve <em>poisoned<\/em> the hearts, minds, and souls of our children all over the place.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Let me ask you with regard to that\u2014I\u2019m thinking of, again, somebody who is listening now as an adult who is thinking back on their teenage years.\u00a0 They\u2019re going, \u201cYou know, I got pressured into doing stuff that I look back on with regret; but I\u2019ve never really stopped to think of myself as a sexual-assault victim.\u00a0 Should I now start to think of myself that way?\u00a0 Is there a process I need to go through?\u201d or, \u201cIf I\u2019m getting along okay, can I just kind of keep getting along okay?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Praying for wisdom is going to be very important at that point.\u00a0 I\u2019ve talked to some where they\u2019ve said, \u201cI <em>think<\/em> maybe I\u2014I don\u2019t even know\u2014you know, my boyfriend kind of whined a little bit and that was what we did.\u201d\u00a0 If they don\u2019t have any symptoms and there is no\u2014there doesn\u2019t seem to be an effect, I don\u2019t want to <em>create<\/em> a problem where there isn\u2019t one.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the woman says, \u201cNo\u2014I mean\u2014I think that was just sin.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think that it went to that next level against my consent.\u00a0 I thought, through it.\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I consented to do that.\u201d\u00a0 I don\u2019t want to go around to just be like looking for an assault everywhere possible in every single nook.\u00a0 That doesn\u2019t do anyone any good.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I also don\u2019t want to do the denial thing.\u00a0 You have to go between creating sexual assaults out of an experience that really wasn\u2019t and then the other extreme is denial.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, some of those people I\u2019ve had in my counseling office.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had people who have said, \u201cThis is how I\u2019m feeling.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019ve started describing the effects of sexual assault.\u00a0 I would ask gently, \u201cHas there been any instances of abuse: emotional, physical?\u201d and I\u2019d throw in \u201csexual\u201d in the mix of the list I\u2019m giving people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey would say, \u201cWell, there was this\u2014when I was 16, there was this boy under the bleachers.\u201d\u00a0 They\u2019ll describe it; and then, they\u2019ll realize, \u201cYes.\u00a0 That actually\u2014\u201d\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t a hidden memory that I, somehow, through counseling <em>unearthed from their deep conscience<\/em>.\u00a0 I just asked them a simple question.\u00a0 They\u2014it just popped in their head, and they said, \u201cYes.\u00a0 That did happen.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, I think wisdom, praying, and saying, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be foolish, God.\u00a0 Please be gentle, but please be clear at the same time.\u00a0 If there is something I need to pursue here, let\u2019s go.\u201d\u00a0 Again, not creating a mess where you don\u2019t need to.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned that a person who is unearthing or uncovering a past sexual assault should find a safe person and begin to express or venture out and do what maybe the most courageous thing they\u2019ve ever done in their life, which is really invite another person into their <em>prison<\/em> and where they are blaming themselves, where they\u2019re full of shame.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAre there other things they need to be aware of as they begin to process what they experienced?\u00a0 I mean, maybe it was an assault as a child, maybe it was date rape, when they were in high school, or college, or as an adult.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Something that is very helpful is\u2014thinking through\u2014is telling them first of all, \u201cYou\u2019re not guilty for what happened to you.\u00a0 You were a victim; you\u2019re not <em>guilty<\/em> for being a victim.\u00a0 But, think through how that experience has <em>twisted<\/em> the way you think about things and about how you respond.\u00a0 Is there ways you\u2019ve responded <em>sinfully<\/em> to being sinned against?\u201d\u00a0 So, that\u2019s been very helpful for some people.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI don\u2019t want to say, \u201cWell, you were sinned against.\u00a0 That\u2019s why you were promiscuous.\u201d\u00a0 If you look at the people who\u2019ve been sexually assaulted, they either shut down sexually\u2014\u201cSex is dirty and gross!\u201d\u2014they are kind of anti-intimacy and closeness; or hyper-sexualized, promiscuous\u2014or you\u2019re angry\u2014your rage, you\u2019re very controlling and manipulative.\u00a0 Seeing how\u2014because sin and suffering go together.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, those who\u2019ve been sinned against, they are suffering.\u00a0 People\u2019s sin creates suffering.\u00a0 They\u2019ve suffered at the hands of someone else.\u00a0 That suffering has likely played itself out in sinful responses.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe point is not to find a way to blame them and be, \u201cNo.\u00a0 You are guilty here;\u201d but to say, \u201cThink how this has played out in the fabric of your life.\u00a0 Start looking for ways that you actually need to realize what forgiveness and grace looks like.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is compassion for the way you\u2019ve been sinned against.\u00a0 The work of Christ on the cross applies directly to how you\u2019ve been sinned against, but they also apply to the sins you\u2019ve committed.\u00a0 So, there is forgiveness, grace, and mercy for all that.\u00a0 Seeing how they relate is very helpful for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin, speak to the person who has been assaulted and may have begun to think of themselves as \u201cdamaged goods\u201d.\u00a0 You know, \u201cOkay, this happened to me.\u00a0 Maybe somehow I encouraged it.\u00a0 I\u2019m to blame.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s back to what you talked about earlier.\u00a0 How should they reverse that way of thinking about themselves so that they don\u2019t lose their nobility, their dignity, and the plan that God has for them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 To me, this is the <em>heart <\/em>of the response to a victim because the\u2014sexual assault is striking at the identity of who they are.\u00a0 It\u2019s calling them something that\u2014they\u2019re saying, \u201cYou\u2019re filthy, dirty, un-loveable, and worthless.\u201d\u00a0 \u201cDamaged goods\u2019\u201d is the phrase that most people think of themselves.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, the joy of being a Christian and speaking to someone else who has faith in Christ, or if they don\u2019t, you can tell them, \u201cThis is what you have in store for you if you trust in Christ.\u00a0 Look at Scripture.\u00a0 You are called the people of God, the child of God.\u00a0 You are called, what Jesus was.\u00a0 Jesus was pure, righteous, holy, blameless, and without spot or blemish.\u00a0 If you have faith in Christ, His robe of righteousness is over you in the\u2014it\u2019s the opposite of what you think.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cYou\u2019re not\u2014it\u2019s not that you were dirty, and you\u2019re less dirty.\u00a0 It is that you felt like you were dirty; but if you trust in Christ, you are considered perfect, pure, and righteous.\u00a0 You were declared by the Creator of the universe all of these amazing things.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cSo, if you look through Scripture, we\u2014our identity chapter is really going through the entire Bible and saying, \u2018If you\u2019re God\u2019s people, what does He call you?\u2019\u00a0 He calls you <em>amazing, overwhelmingly<\/em> good, and gracious things that are\u2014sexual assault has tried to bestow a demonic, evil identity to you.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cGod is\u2014He\u2019s <em>redeeming;<\/em> He\u2019s <em>restoring.<\/em>\u00a0 What He\u2019s doing, He\u2019s going to counter <em>way<\/em> stronger than the evil identity.\u00a0 He\u2019s bestowing the child of God, creature of God, image of God, people of God.\u00a0 If you\u2019re God\u2019s, it\u2019s not like, \u2018Oh, you\u2019re the people of God.\u2019\u00a0 It\u2019s a possession thing.\u00a0 \u201cYou\u2019re my kid.\u00a0 You\u2019re my child.\u00a0 I own you.\u00a0 I protect you.\u00a0 I sustain you.\u00a0 I\u2019m here for you.\u00a0 You\u2019re part of the family of God.\u2019\u00a0 That\u2019s a <em>good <\/em>identity.\u00a0 You\u2019re adopted and coheirs with Christ.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Here\u2019s a great spiritual address for your identity:\u00a0 Second Corinthians, \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tChapter 5, verse 17.\u00a0 \u201cTherefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.\u00a0 The old has passed away.\u00a0 Behold the new has come.\u201d\u00a0 You know, to someone who has been violated, that can be the greatest message of hope to their soul that they do have Christ.\u00a0 They are a <em>new<\/em> creation.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI just happen to believe, Justin, that in our country right now this is one of the Devil\u2019s shrewdest, most cunning, most powerful ways he\u2019s trying to destroy lives, marriages, families, and legacies.\u00a0 I just\u2014I want to encourage you to get a copy of Justin and Lindsey Holcomb\u2019s book, <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>.\u00a0 You may not only need it for yourself, but you may need to pass it on to a friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 I think this is one of those books you may want to have a couple of copies in your home bookshelf because, as you talk with friends or as you interact with folks and you hear stories or you find out things about a friend\u2019s past, this is a great way to be able to hand them a copy of a book that God can use in their lives.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt maybe that this person isn\u2019t a believer, but this is the kind of book that can help them understand that there is a God who cares about them, even though this horrible thing has happened to them.\u00a0 Again, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, for more information about Justin Holcomb\u2019s book, <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>.\u00a0 Our website is FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve also got additional information dealing with sexual assault that you\u2019ll find online, or call us toll-free at 1-800-FL-TODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d When you get in touch with us, someone on our team can let you know how you can have a copy of Justin\u2019s book sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, I should let you know that today\u2019s program was made possible by, well, some folks you probably don\u2019t even know\u2014folks who live in your community, listen to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> on a regular basis, and who from time to time get in touch with us and say, \u201cI want to make a donation to help keep this program on the air.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re listener-supported.\u00a0 So, when folks do that, they help us cover the cost of producing and syndicating this daily program.\u00a0 We appreciate your financial support of the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019re a regular listener to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> and God has in some way used this program in your life, in your marriage, your family\u2014maybe you\u2019ve never made a donation to help support the ministry\u2014we\u2019d love to have you go to FamilyLifeToday.com and make a donation, or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 Make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, when you make a donation, we\u2019d love to say, \u201cThank you,\u201d by sending you a copy of a new devotional for families called <em>Growing Together in Truth<\/em>.\u00a0 This is a new book by Barbara Rainey.\u00a0 It\u2019s a part of the <em>Growing Together<\/em> collection.\u00a0 It\u2019s brand-new.\u00a0 It\u2019s designed to reinforce the idea that there is absolute truth that needs to be embraced and believed.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can request your copy of Barbara\u2019s new book by typing the word \u201cTRUTH\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form when you make a donation, or call 1-800-FLTODAY and simply ask for a copy of the book after you make a donation to support the ministry.\u00a0 We do appreciate your support.\u00a0 We just want to say, \u201cThanks,\u201d in advance for whatever you\u2019re able to do in helping to support the ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk about the very difficult subject of forgiveness.\u00a0 How do we even begin to approach forgiveness with somebody who has sexually assaulted us?\u00a0 We\u2019re going talk about that tomorrow.\u00a0 I hope that you can tune in. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife\u00ae.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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