{"id":302373,"date":"2011-10-05T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-10-05T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/you-are-not-to-blame\/"},"modified":"2011-10-05T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-10-05T15:00:00","slug":"you-are-not-to-blame","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/you-are-not-to-blame\/","title":{"rendered":"You Are Not to Blame"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sexual abuse.  Even the word makes us cringe.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-05.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.83M","filesize_raw":"24990147","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2873],"tags":[4129,2989,2320,2991],"podcast_series":[7830],"cwp_profile":[8833],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302373","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mental-and-emotional-issues","tag-homosexuality","tag-pornography","tag-purity","tag-sex","podcast_series-rid-of-my-disgrace","cwp_profile-justin-holcomb","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302373\/you-are-not-to-blame","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302373\/you-are-not-to-blame","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"IYfQDFEEit\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/you-are-not-to-blame\/\">You Are Not to Blame<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/you-are-not-to-blame\/embed\/#?secret=IYfQDFEEit\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;You Are Not to Blame&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"IYfQDFEEit\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-05.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-05.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is not unusual for someone who has been a victim of sexual assault to, at some point, ask the question, \u201cWhere was God when I was being assaulted?\u201d and, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t he stop it?\u201d\u00a0 Justin Holcomb says that\u2019s a question a victim should feel free to ask.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 When they go through it, and they\u2019re engaging the God of the Psalms and Ecclesiastes and Job\u2014not the American god of, \u201cGet going and be good, and I\u2019ll like you\u201d\u2014not this kind of Deistic, distant god\u2014but the God Who listens to those that cry out.\u00a0 That question starts to melt.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t make it go away.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t erase it.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t even lose its pup; but what it does for that question of, \u201cWhere were you?\u201d ,\u00a0 they actually realize, \u201cI can ask that question.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, October 5<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Justin Holcomb joins us today to talk about how victims of sexual assault can find real help and real healing.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to be talking about a sensitive subject today, Dennis.\u00a0 You know, it just occurs to me what a strategy of the enemy it is to take a good gift from God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 --and to see it get twisted, perverted, abused.\u00a0 To see it become a weapon in someone\u2019s hand.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we\u2019re going to explore today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Our friend, Dr. Dan Allender, makes the statement that \u201cSexual abuse is the hardest stone the Devil of Hell can throw at a human being.\u201d\u00a0 The older I become and the more stories like the one we\u2019re going to hear today, the more I believe that really is true.\u00a0 So, if you have younger listeners who are within earshot of the radio, I\u2019d suggest maybe shooing them off or recording this for later listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have with us in the studio Justin Holcomb, all the way from Seattle, Washington.\u00a0 Justin, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having me.\u00a0 I really appreciate this.\u00a0 Thank you for taking the risk in talking about this topic.\u00a0 It\u2019s not an easy topic to talk about on Christian radio, and so hitting it head-on is important.\u00a0 I really want to thank you both for the opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really is important; and every time we\u2019ve talked about this on <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>we are inundated with emails and letters, with stories of people who have been impacted.\u00a0 As you know, one in four women have been sexually-abused, and one in six men.\u00a0 I think this is going to be an even more important topic as we move into the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJustin has his PhD from Emory University.\u00a0 He is <em>the<\/em> pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, no, you can\u2019t say he\u2019s <em>the <\/em>pastor of Mars Hill Church; there\u2019s another guy\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just ask him!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ll get me in trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just asking Mark Driscoll to move over for a day.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s all; that\u2019s all.\u00a0 I\u2019m just reading this the way Justin gave it to me.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, he didn\u2019t.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t do that, really.\u00a0 He is also an adjunct professor at RTS.\u00a0 He and his wife Lindsey have been married since 2006, and together they have written a book called <em>Rid of My Disgrace.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is an interesting fact omitted from your book.\u00a0 You talk about how you were sexually abused, but you never tell the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to steal the limelight.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to tell my story and then have people read everything that was said and wonder, \u201cI wonder if this is a personal thing he\u2019s saying or if this is him speaking as a pastor.\u00a0 I wonder if this is Lindsey writing as a counselor.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we wanted to put in there\u2014and we did put one line in there\u2014that says, \u201cWe are writing this from professional, pastoral, and personal experiences.\u201d\u00a0 We just wanted to leave it at that.\u00a0 We wrote it <em>to <\/em>victims.\u00a0 We thought, \u201cIf we said that, they would realize that someone there\u2014\u201c \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we also didn\u2019t want them to think, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s a guy.\u00a0 I\u2019m a woman.\u00a0 He was younger.\u201d\u00a0 (I was 10 or 11 years old)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re speaking of when it happened to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 When it happened to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And so, both because of the gender\u2014because if a woman was reading it, she might think, \u201cWell, my situation was really different.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if what he\u2019s saying here really applies to me.\u201d\u00a0 We didn\u2019t want to clutter it up and create white noise.\u00a0 So we included six other stories from people that are just friends with us or people that we\u2019ve counseled.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You and Lindsey have counseled hundreds of people who have experienced sexual abuse.\u00a0 Having come from that as a part of your background, does it make it easier, or is it harder to counsel them because every time you are in there hearing their story, it\u2019s got to be pulling an old scab on you, doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\u00a0 It triggers.\u00a0 It triggers.\u00a0 I know the memories.\u00a0 Memories don\u2019t know time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to get to your story in a moment; but there\u2019s a message of your book that you get right to, right off the start.\u00a0 It has to do with what victims of sexual abuse experience\u2014and that\u2019s blame.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Self-blame and cultural-blame.\u00a0 Because of sexual assault\u2014because it\u2019s so devastating for people and because people don\u2019t know how to respond to it\u2014there\u2019s a lot of silence.\u00a0 What happens in the vacuum of silence is that a victim will have that experience of sexual assault.\u00a0 They will start by blaming themselves, \u201cWhat did I do to deserve that?\u00a0 Did I drink too much?\u00a0 Did I wear the wrong clothes?\u00a0 Was I flirting?\u00a0 Why did I walk home at 2:00 in the morning?\u00a0 Why wasn\u2019t I more vigilant?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey start looking around and asking the \u201cwhat if\u201d questions, \u201cWhat if I had done something different?\u201d\u00a0 Self-blame kicks in, and that is extremely strong; but because our culture doesn\u2019t like to talk about sexual assault \u2013it\u2019s a taboo\u2014so culturally, there\u2019s just this sense of this blanket of silence that intensifies that self-blame.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 But then, victim-blaming.\u00a0 I saw that being taught at a university.\u00a0 For five years, I was a university professor and I was a campus minister.\u00a0 I actually saw men and women who were assaulted at frat parties or on dates.\u00a0 The things that were questioned about them or that were said about them!\u00a0 Like, \u201cOh, yeah, yeah!\u00a0 We know about her.\u00a0 She\u2019s promiscuous.\u201d\u00a0 That somehow undermines the fact of what happened to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If she was assaulted, then the word is, \u201cShe wants it,\u201d or \u201cShe\u2019s promiscuous,\u201d or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 Or, \u201cWell, she was drinking.\u00a0 What did she expect?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hearing something ridiculous like that\u2014that then puts the responsibility on the victim.\u00a0 That happens a lot with sexual assault, as opposed to other types of crimes and assaults.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about God-blaming in the midst of all this?\u00a0 Because, I imagine, at some point in your own processing, every sexual-assault victim has to be saying, \u201cNow wait a second.\u00a0 If there is a God Who loves me and Who is sovereign, Who is in control of all things, where was He when this was happening to me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That question did not hit home with me.\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t something like \u201ca rock in my shoe\u201d that I felt the pain of every time I took a step, but it\u2019s probably the question I hear most frequently.\u00a0 It\u2019s the topic that\u2019s brought up most frequently.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt usually happens early in talking with a victim; the questioning of \u201cOkay, I know I\u2019m reading the Bible and the Bible says, \u2018God is good, loving, and powerful.\u2019\u00a0 I am His.\u00a0 So, a good father would want to protect.\u00a0 It seems like I wasn\u2019t protected.\u201d That\u2019s that question; that problem.\u00a0 There\u2019s the evil question and, \u201cWhy is there suffering?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut something else I\u2019ve noticed is that those who suffer\u2014in any kind of suffering, not just sexual assault\u2014When they go through it, and they\u2019re engaging the God of the Psalms and Ecclesiastes and Job\u2014not the American god of, \u201cGet going and be good, and I\u2019ll like you\u201d\u2014not this kind of Deistic, distant god\u2014but the God Who listens to those that cry out.\u00a0 That question starts to melt.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t make it go away.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t erase it.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t even lose its pup; but what it does for that question of, \u201cWhere were you?\u201d ,\u00a0 they actually realize, \u201cI can ask that question.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, they start asking the question\u2014and there\u2019s a story in the book by Mandy\u2014we changed all of the names.\u00a0 She had multiple assailants.\u00a0 She was asking that question.\u00a0 The answer that she felt like God gave her was that, \u201cWhat they used for evil, He would ban that evil for good\u2014for you because I love you.\u00a0 Not even that will separate you from My love for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe actually realized that God was answering back to that question now.\u00a0 So, I don\u2019t want people not asking that question.\u00a0 I want people to hit that one head-on.\u00a0 I tell people all the time that He can handle it.\u00a0 He\u2019s not afraid of your emotions.\u00a0 He\u2019s not afraid of your thoughts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the God that we\u2019re pointing to and talking about can\u2019t handle how you feel, then we\u2019ve created a really wimpy version of God.\u00a0 It makes me think of J.D. Phillips\u2019 book <em>Your God Is Too Small.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we\u2019ve just offered a miniature version of the God of the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And what you have in the Bible are so many promises that God <em>is <\/em>good, and that He causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.\u00a0 What I hear you saying is that you call people back to <em>what<\/em> are they going to believe and <em>who<\/em> are they going to believe\u201d as they moved forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to take a step back, though, to your story.\u00a0 I want to go back to when you were a boy of 10, 11 years old.\u00a0 You said you grew up in a good, Christian family.\u00a0 Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 A wonderful Christian family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your parents protected you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 They loved me!\u00a0 I learned the words \u201cunconditional love\u201d by my parents.\u00a0 They said, \u201cWe love you unconditionally.\u201d\u00a0 I lived in Florida, and I knew what air conditioning was.\u00a0 I was confused about \u201cunconditional love\u201d\u2014air condition.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat is this \u201cair conditioning love\u201d thing?\u00a0 My dad said, \u201cNo.\u00a0 Unconditional love means there\u2019s nothing you can do that will cause me to not love you.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s how God loves us.\u00a0 My dad was great!\u00a0 My mom and dad were very good sinners.\u00a0 They grew up and were hippies.\u00a0 They grew up in abusive homes.\u00a0 They had track records.\u00a0 When they heard about Jesus, they were quick to repent and <em>thrilled <\/em>with the good news!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And they had experienced grace.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So they knew how to dispense it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So they literally trained you in knowing how to experience grace?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That may have something to do with how you\u2019ve come through your own situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was it a family member, a friend?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was an extended family member\u2014an older male, who was 17.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you have any sense of what was going on, the rightness or the wrongness of it?\u00a0 What was happening to a 10-year-old brain when a 17-year-old says, \u201cLet\u2019s try this\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was really confusing!\u00a0 That threw me for a loop of, \u201cOkay, my body\u2019s changing\u2014and urges, desires.\u00a0 Are these good or bad?\u201d\u00a0 Just the basic questions.\u00a0 So, mixed with that was curiosity and his sin\u2014put together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was no real way for me to know how to separate the two.\u00a0 They were blended together.\u00a0 So, what that did was have a significant influence on how I thought about sex and my body.\u00a0 It got me into the trajectory of thinking that sex and sexuality has a \u201cgrossness\u201d to it.\u00a0 It blended with the sense of shame.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe sense of shame\u2014the sense of shame for me\u2014that was heavy.\u00a0 Of thinking, \u201cDid I do something that made him think that I wanted him to do that to me?\u201d\u00a0 Then, the really confusing part was\u2014and this happens to a lot of victims\u2014was that there was arousal.\u00a0 So, then, you\u2019re thinking, \u201cMaybe I really did want that.\u00a0 It looked like my body said I did.\u201d\u00a0 Just adding that level of confusion; and then you\u2019re spinning around, wondering\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t know who in the world to talk to.\u00a0 My parents had always told me, \u201cYou can tell us <em>anything <\/em>you want.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, they had things happen to them.\u00a0 So, they wanted to make sure that if anything ever happened to me or anything\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey said, \u201cThere\u2019s nothing you can tell us that will shock us.\u201d\u00a0 I never talked to them.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t talk to them for <em>years <\/em>about it.\u00a0 God was really faithful in navigating my little 10- year-old\/11-year-old heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Didn\u2019t talk to them because\u2014?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Shame.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because you just couldn\u2019t look at Mom or Dad and say, \u201cHere\u2019s what happened\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I felt disgusting.\u00a0 I felt filthy, and disgusting, and dirty.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cI know they said \u2018unconditional,\u2019 but they surely didn\u2019t think this would happen.\u00a0 I\u2019m gross!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Many victims who have been sexually assaulted are manipulated.\u00a0 They\u2019re lured into a trap, and then they\u2019re snared in a way.\u00a0 Was that true in your situation?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 It was coordinated.\u00a0 Realizing that, looking back, I would even say there were times when the perpetrator was really charming to my parents.\u00a0 There was just this sense of safety that he could be trusted.\u00a0 Because he was five years older than me, that played into it a little bit.\u00a0 I have a younger sister who is five years younger than me.\u00a0 I was always the big brother.\u00a0 I knew what protecting my little sister looked like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen having this male, five years older than me\u2014five years older\u2014it was kind of a cool thing to have someone\u2014I got to be the \u201clittle brother.\u201d\u00a0 He kind of was my \u201cbig brother\u201d in that sense just because I knew what that was like, and I liked it.\u00a0 So he played into that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Created safety, and also more than likely, created a relationship with you that invited you into the relationship with him; and then it got twisted into the sexual dimension. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, absolutely.\u00a0 Something that is important is that most perpetrators don\u2019t just have one victim, they have multiple victims.\u00a0 Three years later, after that, when he was charged with sexual assault in a date rape case, everyone in the family thought there was no way; no way that he could have done that.\u00a0 I was the lone one in the family saying, \u201cI can guarantee you he did.\u201d\u00a0 No one knew why I was so vigilant about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even that didn\u2019t cause you to come out and tell your parents what had happened?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the power of shame.\u00a0 That\u2019s what shame does.\u00a0 It literally is a prison that shuts people down.\u00a0 It\u2019s the shame on one side, and then it questions your identity.\u00a0 \u201cAm I really a Christian if I like that--?\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re not sure.\u00a0 \u201cAm I really, really a Christian? or, \u201cAm I just a bad person?\u00a0 What am I?\u00a0 Who am I before God?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen you have this shame and silence.\u00a0 Again, my poor parents said, \u201cWe didn\u2019t have <em>any idea<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 I told them, \u201cI know.\u00a0 I know you didn\u2019t know.\u201d\u00a0 They were the loving, wonderful, very protective parents.\u00a0 So this is happening, and can happen right under parents\u2019 noses.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin, we\u2019re undoubtedly talking to folks today who have had this experience and it\u2019s been locked up inside of them for decades.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been married; they\u2019ve got kids.\u00a0 They have never told a soul what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 In fact, if I remember right from your book, the majority of victims never tell anyone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, most victims don\u2019t have the opportunity to tell anyone.\u00a0 Most do not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you say the \u201copportunity\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 They don\u2019t have the opportunity.\u00a0 They don\u2019t <em>think <\/em>that they have people in their lives that are safe enough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That will give them grace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 One of the things I really encourage people in counseling to do is to look around and pray, and say, \u201cOkay.\u00a0 Is there someone?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I have a Christian who is telling me\u2014frequently, I\u2019m the first person they\u2019ve ever told in the Pastoral Care Counseling office.\u00a0 The next thing is, \u201cOkay.\u00a0 God is creative, and He\u2019s sovereign; and He\u2019s good and He loves you.\u00a0 Will you look around and see if there\u2019s someone else in your life that you can tell?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I ask that question, they come back the next time\u2014or when they start thinking about it.\u00a0 They\u2019ll come back with a list of people that they could.\u00a0 They just didn\u2019t <em>realize<\/em> that they could.\u00a0 They might start telling their spouse, or their parent, or their friends in community group.\u00a0 That\u2019s where a lot of the goodness happens.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you\u2019re saying to, \u201cOpen that door.\u201d\u00a0 The person, who\u2019s listening, who says, \u201cI\u2019ve never told anybody.\u00a0 I\u2019m so ashamed.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t tell my husband,\u201d or, \u201cI couldn\u2019t tell my wife.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re saying, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to unlock that door, and you\u2019ve got to figure out who the safe people are.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to get it out, even if it was 20 years ago and you think you\u2019ve got it walled-off and it\u2019s okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Back to what I said earlier, \u201cMemory doesn\u2019t know time.\u201d\u00a0 Time doesn\u2019t heal all wounds.\u00a0 So, especially if it was 20 or 30 years ago.\u00a0 Pray about this, think about this.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to take some courage and some bravery.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou don\u2019t have to say everything!\u00a0 I really want to encourage people\u2014think through, \u201cIs there someone who will listen and believe you?\u201d\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to say everything.\u00a0 You can start with just a part of the story\u2014with one piece of the story.\u00a0 Then see how they respond.\u00a0 Hopefully, God in His sovereignty and creativity and love, has placed people around them like pastors, friends, sibling\u2014whatever their situation is\u2014who will be agents of grace for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin, I want you to just take a moment and speak to the person who may be the confidante.\u00a0 They may be the one not to go tell someone else.\u00a0 They may be the person someone is about to share this with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s your best counsel for them?\u00a0 You\u2019ve already given a couple here:\u00a0 \u201cListen carefully to what they say, and then believe them when they tell you.\u201d\u00a0 Is there anything else that they really need to practice, in the safety of this relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 They need to not offer simplistic platitudes and go straight to fixing God\u2019s reputation and doing apologetics, explaining the problem of evil and getting all philosophical.\u00a0 They need to sit in there and listen to the story.\u00a0 Don\u2019t ask probing questions because probing questions can re-victimize.\u00a0 Let them tell the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t do it voyeuristically, like, \u201cWhat happened next?\u201d\u00a0 Don\u2019t offer just simplistic things like, \u201cOut of bad things, good things come.\u201d\u00a0 Yes, God works wonders through the suffering we go through.\u00a0\u00a0 He bends evil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there are certain things you just don\u2019t need to lead off with in the middle of someone opening up and showing you this big, gaping wound that they\u2019ve had.\u00a0 So listening, believing\u2014not offering just platitudes, not going philosophical.\u00a0 Saying something like, \u201cI am so sorry that happened to you.\u201d\u00a0 You get really simple at that point.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for telling me.\u00a0 How can I pray for you?\u00a0 You\u2019re not crazy for feeling the way you do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou are being emotionally and relationally hospitable.\u00a0 Just the same way as if you had someone coming into your house for dinner, you would be so aware of how they feel.\u00a0 \u201cAre they thirsty?\u00a0 What time do you think they want to eat?\u00a0 Where do they want to sit?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, thinking through.\u00a0 When someone is telling you, try to imagine how painful or awkward or weird or ashamed\u2014how must they feel?\u00a0 Then try to respond in a way that would embody hospitality to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to go back to an earlier image that you used for the person who has been a victim of sexual assault.\u00a0 You explained earlier that they\u2019re imprisoned.\u00a0 If you\u2019re the one they\u2019re coming to and they have been unjustly self-condemned to a prison, think of someone who\u2019s getting out of prison who had been there for unrighteous reasons, for unjust reasons.\u00a0 How would you welcome them?\u00a0 What kind of grace would you extend them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou would say, as you just said, \u201cMan, that is so wrong that that happened.\u00a0 I am so sorry.\u201d\u00a0 Then begin to extend the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ to them; the love of Christ; the comfort of Christ; the comfort of the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 I think all of these things are really important to that person who has confided in in that situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even the title of your book\u2014you call it <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>.\u00a0 You point out in the first chapters of the book that disgrace is the opposite of grace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, to respond with grace is to begin to undo some of the disgrace that you may have been experiencing for years as a result of sexual assault.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of Justin Holcomb\u2019s book, <em>Rid of My Disgrace,<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLIfeToday.com for more information about how to get a copy of this book.\u00a0 There\u2019s also information about other resources we have available, both online and in our Resource Center to help you with this particular subject.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, we can answer any questions you have about the resources we have available or make arrangements to have a copy of Justin Holcomb\u2019s book, <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>, sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, as many of you know, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported.\u00a0 Like a lot of the programs you hear on this station, our program depends on donations from folks like you to be able to cover the production and syndication costs associated with this daily radio program.\u00a0 Those of you who hear one of our programs and, from time to time, think, \u201cYou know?\u00a0 I want to help support that ministry and keep them on the air\u201d\u2014we appreciate it when you do get in touch with us and make a donation, whatever the amount is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, when you make a donation, we\u2019d like to send you as a thank-you gift, a brand-new family devotional from Barbara Rainey called <em>Growing Together in Truth<\/em>.\u00a0 Barbara has taken seven stories designed to be read aloud to your family to help reinforce the idea that embracing truth is a biblical idea.\u00a0 In a culture where truth is being minimized and where all things are seen as relative, reinforcing the idea of absolute truth as you raise your children is an important thing for Christian parents to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, this book is our gift to you when you make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>You can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 If you make your donation online, type the word \u201cTRUTH\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 If you call to make a donation over the phone, just ask for Barbara\u2019s devotional on truth.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 We are so grateful for your partnership with us here in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 We always enjoy hearing from you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk more about the impact of sexual assault in a person\u2019s life.\u00a0 Tomorrow, we\u2019re going to see the definition of what constitutes sexual assault.\u00a0 It may be broader than you have realized.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.83M"],"filesize_raw":["24990147"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302373.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302373.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 3em;padding-bottom: 3em;padding-left: 1.5em;padding-right: 1.5em;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{padding-top: 3px;padding-bottom: 3px;padding-left: 1.5px;padding-right: 1.5px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-e11dbe9f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-e11dbe9f > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f{padding-top: 3px;padding-bottom: 3px;padding-left: 1.5px;padding-right: 1.5px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #f8f8f8;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 960px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{row-gap: 40px;column-gap: 40px;grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr)  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: start;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{min-height: 710px;box-shadow: 3px 7px 7px -1px rgba(0,0,0,0.15) ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;align-self: start;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;background: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/07\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.jpg) 50% 50%;;background-size: cover;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{max-width: 100vw;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{min-height: 250px;box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-repeat: no-repeat;background-position: 50% 50%;background-size: cover;background-attachment: scroll;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{row-gap: 8px;column-gap: 8px;grid-template-columns: auto  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 300;font-size: 16px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: left;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 4px;padding-bottom: 4px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;border-top-width: 3px;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #006a5a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-3208cc36 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 400;font-size: 26px;line-height: 1.2em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;color: #1573a2;fill: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-radius: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__label{font-size: 20px;text-decoration: !important;line-height: em;color: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;padding-top: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__label{text-align: left;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{text-decoration: !important;font-size: 20px;line-height: em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{margin-left: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child {flex-direction: row-reverse;}.uagb-block-fdd052c2.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fdd052c2.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-679dc0da.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-679dc0da.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fbb8dca6.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-fbb8dca6.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-b5e9a44d.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-b5e9a44d.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-10525170.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-10525170.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{min-height: 710px;box-shadow: 3px 7px 7px -1px rgba(0,0,0,0.15) ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: flex-start;flex-wrap: nowrap;align-self: start;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;background: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/07\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.jpg) 50% 50%;;background-size: cover;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{max-width: 100vw;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{min-height: 250px;box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-repeat: no-repeat;background-position: 50% 50%;background-size: cover;background-attachment: scroll;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{row-gap: 8px;column-gap: 8px;grid-template-columns: auto  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 300;font-size: 16px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: left;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 4px;padding-bottom: 4px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;border-top-width: 3px;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-heading-text{color: #006a5a;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-31f155e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-weight: 400;font-size: 26px;line-height: 1.2em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;color: #1573a2;fill: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-radius: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__label{font-size: 20px;text-decoration: !important;line-height: em;color: #1573a2;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;padding-top: 0px;padding-right: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__label{text-align: left;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{text-decoration: !important;font-size: 20px;line-height: em;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{margin-left: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child {flex-direction: row-reverse;}.uagb-block-83befcbf.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-83befcbf.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-75d2f158.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-75d2f158.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-0d14af90.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-0d14af90.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-4dd6f9d3.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-4dd6f9d3.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-28c58e21.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}.uagb-block-28c58e21.wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child:hover .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{background:  !important;border-color:  !important;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr)  minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-position: 54% 48%;background-size: cover;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 1px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap {padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-position: 54% 48%;background-size: cover;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{font-size: 12px;letter-spacing: 1px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap {padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-85559158{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-85559158 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-85559158{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 10px;padding-right: 10px;margin-top: 60px !important;margin-bottom: 60px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ea16301a{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ea16301a > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a.uagb-layout-grid > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ea16301a{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-26ccc5c9{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-26ccc5c9 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-26ccc5c9{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-wrap: wrap;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-84f50fa3{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-84f50fa3 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-84f50fa3{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/Grow-with-your-family_545x307.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-271bf38d{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-271bf38d > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-271bf38d{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ab8d0982{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-ab8d0982 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ab8d0982.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading {padding-left: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d4c1a7e3 .uagb-heading-text{letter-spacing: 4px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-f9d54988 .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-f9d54988.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-cbb8c5bd.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-48a597f8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-48a597f8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-48a597f8{padding-top: 0px;padding-bottom: 0px;padding-left: 0px;padding-right: 0px;margin-top: 0px !important;margin-bottom: 0px !important;margin-left: 0px;margin-right: 0px;order: initial;background-color: #ffffff;;flex-wrap: wrap;grid-column: span 1;grid-row: span 1;align-self: stretch;justify-self: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-22a41c70{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-22a41c70 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-22a41c70{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-image: url(https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2025\/03\/HelpFamiliesGrow2.webp);background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-562935bf{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-562935bf > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-562935bf{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 40px;padding-left: 40px;padding-right: 40px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5a1442f2{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5a1442f2 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.uagb-layout-grid{grid-template-columns: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;grid-template-rows: minmax( 1px, 1fr) ;align-items: stretch;justify-items: stretch;align-content: stretch;justify-content: stretch;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5a1442f2.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading {padding-left: 40px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-d9c0200f .uagb-heading-text{letter-spacing: 4px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator{text-align: center;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator--text .wp-block-uagb-separator-element .uagb-html-tag{font-style: normal;margin-bottom: initial;line-height: 1em;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e .uagb-separator-spacing-wrapper{padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;}.uagb-block-aa17f10e.wp-block-uagb-separator:not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--text):not(.wp-block-uagb-separator--icon) .wp-block-uagb-separator__inner{-webkit-mask-size: 5px 100%;width: 100%;border-top-color: #eabe5e;border-top-style: solid;margin-top: 5px;margin-bottom: 5px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__source-image{width: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap svg{width: 18px;height: 18px;font-size: 18px;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child .uagb-icon-list__source-wrap{padding: 0px;border-width: 0px;align-self: center;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64 .uagb-icon-list__wrap{display: flex;flex-direction: column;justify-content: center;-webkit-box-pack: center;-ms-flex-pack: center;-webkit-box-align: flex-start;-ms-flex-align: flex-start;align-items: flex-start;}.wp-block-uagb-icon-list.uagb-block-ced20c64.wp-block-uagb-icon-list .wp-block-uagb-icon-list-child{margin-left: 0;margin-right: 0;margin-bottom: 24px;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-ecebc267{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-ecebc267{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background: linear-gradient(130deg, #ffffff 60%, #f8f8f8 46%);;background-clip: padding-box;flex-wrap: wrap;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: row;align-items: flex-start;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 32px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;row-gap: 32px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 25%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;max-width: 25% !important;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;max-width:  !important;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-8d4ac8a0{padding-top: 80px;padding-bottom: 80px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-047d9c4f{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-047d9c4f{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;max-width: 100% !important;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662.wp-block-uagb-container{color: #ffffff;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662.wp-block-uagb-container *{color: #ffffff;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #25282a;;row-gap: 20px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: row;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;flex-direction: row;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;row-gap: 20px;column-gap: 32px;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0.wp-block-uagb-container > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not( .spectra-container-link-overlay ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox):not(.wp-block-uagb-lottie):not(.uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap){width: auto !important;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0.wp-block-uagb-container > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap > *:not( .wp-block-uagb-column ):not( .wp-block-uagb-section ):not( .uagb-container__shape ):not( .uagb-container__video-wrap ):not( .uagb-slider-container ):not(.spectra-image-gallery__control-lightbox){width: auto !important;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default figure img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure figcaption{font-style: normal;align-self: center;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay figure img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__color-wrapper{opacity: 0.2;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner{left: 15px;right: 15px;top: 15px;bottom: 15px;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-heading{font-style: normal;color: #fff;opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-heading a{color: #fff;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-caption{opacity: 0;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__color-wrapper{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-separator{width: 30%;border-top-width: 2px;border-top-color: #fff;opacity: 0;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 292px;height: 48px;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-caption{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure:hover .wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay__inner .uagb-image-separator{opacity: 1;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-default figure:hover img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image--layout-overlay figure:hover img{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000070;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #25282a;;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 280px;height: 45px;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-f064f662{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-f064f662 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-f064f662{padding-top: 20px;padding-bottom: 20px;padding-left: 12px;padding-right: 12px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #25282a;;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-dbd5f6c0{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;flex-wrap: wrap;}.uagb-block-644e4891.wp-block-uagb-image .wp-block-uagb-image__figure img{width: 280px;height: 45px;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #006c5b;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;background-color: #006c5b;;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-beb12949{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-beb12949 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-beb12949{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #006c5b;;}}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-color: inherit;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape-bottom svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-bottom .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: rgba(51,51,51,1);}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 .uagb-container__video-wrap video{opacity: 1;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1320px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-direction: column;align-items: center;justify-content: center;flex-wrap: nowrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{box-shadow: 0px 0px   #00000070 ;padding-top: 2em;padding-bottom: 2em;padding-left: 2em;padding-right: 2em;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;overflow: visible;order: initial;border-top-left-radius: 30px;border-top-right-radius: 30px;border-bottom-left-radius: 30px;border-bottom-right-radius: 30px;border-color: inherit;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-desc-text{margin-bottom: 15px;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight{font-style: normal;font-weight: Default;background: #007cba;color: #fff;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::-moz-selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading.uagb-block-97ee3d2f.wp-block-uagb-advanced-heading .uagb-highlight::selection{color: #fff;background: #007cba;-webkit-text-fill-color: #fff;}.uagb-block-232092dc.wp-block-uagb-buttons.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {gap: 10px;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: left;align-items: center;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-uagb-buttons-child .uagb-buttons-repeater{background: #f3bd48;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link{background: #f3bd48;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link:hover{background: #f4deaa;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link:focus{background: #f4deaa;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper .uagb-buttons-repeater{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link.has-text-color:hover .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .wp-block-button__link.has-text-color:focus .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper  .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000026;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__wrapper  .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:hover{box-shadow: 0px 0px 0 #00000026;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-color: #333;border-style: none;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:hover{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link:focus{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-color: #333;border-style: none;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater:hover{border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:hover .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:focus .uagb-button__link{color: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon > svg{width: 15px;height: 15px;fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:hover .uagb-button__icon > svg{fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater:focus .uagb-button__icon > svg{fill: #25282a;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon-position-after{margin-left: 8px;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater .uagb-button__icon-position-before{margin-right: 8px;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-button__link{text-transform: normal;text-decoration: none;}@media only screen and (max-width: 976px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 1024px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{padding-top: 2px;padding-bottom: 2px;padding-left: 2px;padding-right: 2px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: center;align-items: center;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap .wp-block-button{width: auto;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}}@media only screen and (max-width: 767px) {.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-5096eaa1{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-5096eaa1 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-5096eaa1{margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container .uagb-block-89b3b7a8{max-width: 100%;width: 100%;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-is-root-container.alignfull.uagb-block-89b3b7a8 > .uagb-container-inner-blocks-wrap{--inner-content-custom-width: min( 100%, 767px);max-width: var(--inner-content-custom-width);width: 100%;flex-wrap: wrap;}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-89b3b7a8{padding-top: 2px;padding-bottom: 2px;padding-left: 2px;padding-right: 2px;margin-top:  !important;margin-bottom:  !important;order: initial;background-color: #ebebeb;;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap {justify-content: center;align-items: center;}.uagb-block-232092dc.uagb-buttons__outer-wrap .uagb-buttons__wrap .wp-block-button{width: auto;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611.wp-block-button.is-style-outline .uagb-button__wrapper .wp-block-button__link.uagb-buttons-repeater{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}.wp-block-uagb-buttons .uagb-block-00708611 .uagb-buttons-repeater.wp-block-button__link{border-style: none;border-color: #333;}}\";s:2:\"js\";s:161:\"document.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\", function(){ window.addEventListener( 'load', function() {\n\tUAGBButtonChild.init( '.uagb-block-00708611' );\n});\n });\";s:18:\"current_block_list\";a:17:{i:0;s:14:\"uagb\/container\";i:1;s:12:\"core\/heading\";i:2;s:9:\"core\/html\";i:3;s:10:\"core\/group\";i:6;s:21:\"uagb\/advanced-heading\";i:7;s:14:\"uagb\/separator\";i:8;s:14:\"uagb\/icon-list\";i:9;s:20:\"uagb\/icon-list-child\";i:10;s:11:\"core\/search\";i:13;s:18:\"core\/legacy-widget\";i:16;s:10:\"uagb\/image\";i:17;s:17:\"core\/social-links\";i:18;s:16:\"core\/social-link\";i:19;s:14:\"core\/paragraph\";i:20;s:30:\"meta-box\/fl-conditional-blocks\";i:21;s:12:\"uagb\/buttons\";i:22;s:18:\"uagb\/buttons-child\";}s:8:\"uag_flag\";b:1;s:11:\"uag_version\";i:1776492196;s:6:\"gfonts\";a:1:{s:7:\"Default\";a:2:{s:10:\"fontfamily\";s:7:\"Default\";s:12:\"fontvariants\";a:0:{}}}s:10:\"gfonts_url\";s:71:\"\/\/fonts.googleapis.com\/css?family=Default&subset=latin&display=fallback\";s:12:\"gfonts_files\";a:0:{}s:14:\"uag_faq_layout\";b:0;}"]},"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg",508,508,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"kfairris@familylife.com","author_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/author\/kfairrisfamilylife-com\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Sexual abuse. Even the word makes us cringe.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-10-05.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\u00ad\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>It is not unusual for someone who has been a victim of sexual assault to, at some point, ask the question, \u201cWhere was God when I was being assaulted?\u201d and, \u201cWhy didn\u2019t he stop it?\u201d\u00a0 Justin Holcomb says that\u2019s a question a victim should feel free to ask.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 When they go through it, and they\u2019re engaging the God of the Psalms and Ecclesiastes and Job\u2014not the American god of, \u201cGet going and be good, and I\u2019ll like you\u201d\u2014not this kind of Deistic, distant god\u2014but the God Who listens to those that cry out.\u00a0 That question starts to melt.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t make it go away.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t erase it.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t even lose its pup; but what it does for that question of, \u201cWhere were you?\u201d ,\u00a0 they actually realize, \u201cI can ask that question.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> for Wednesday, October 5<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Justin Holcomb joins us today to talk about how victims of sexual assault can find real help and real healing.\u00a0 Stay tuned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to be talking about a sensitive subject today, Dennis.\u00a0 You know, it just occurs to me what a strategy of the enemy it is to take a good gift from God\u2014\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0\u00a0 --and to see it get twisted, perverted, abused.\u00a0 To see it become a weapon in someone\u2019s hand.\u00a0 That\u2019s what we\u2019re going to explore today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Our friend, Dr. Dan Allender, makes the statement that \u201cSexual abuse is the hardest stone the Devil of Hell can throw at a human being.\u201d\u00a0 The older I become and the more stories like the one we\u2019re going to hear today, the more I believe that really is true.\u00a0 So, if you have younger listeners who are within earshot of the radio, I\u2019d suggest maybe shooing them off or recording this for later listening.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have with us in the studio Justin Holcomb, all the way from Seattle, Washington.\u00a0 Justin, welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you for having me.\u00a0 I really appreciate this.\u00a0 Thank you for taking the risk in talking about this topic.\u00a0 It\u2019s not an easy topic to talk about on Christian radio, and so hitting it head-on is important.\u00a0 I really want to thank you both for the opportunity.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It really is important; and every time we\u2019ve talked about this on <em>FamilyLife Today, <\/em>we are inundated with emails and letters, with stories of people who have been impacted.\u00a0 As you know, one in four women have been sexually-abused, and one in six men.\u00a0 I think this is going to be an even more important topic as we move into the future.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tJustin has his PhD from Emory University.\u00a0 He is <em>the<\/em> pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, Washington.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, no, you can\u2019t say he\u2019s <em>the <\/em>pastor of Mars Hill Church; there\u2019s another guy\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Just ask him!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019ll get me in trouble.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m just asking Mark Driscoll to move over for a day.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s all; that\u2019s all.\u00a0 I\u2019m just reading this the way Justin gave it to me.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No, he didn\u2019t.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t do that, really.\u00a0 He is also an adjunct professor at RTS.\u00a0 He and his wife Lindsey have been married since 2006, and together they have written a book called <em>Rid of My Disgrace.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere is an interesting fact omitted from your book.\u00a0 You talk about how you were sexually abused, but you never tell the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Why?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to steal the limelight.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to tell my story and then have people read everything that was said and wonder, \u201cI wonder if this is a personal thing he\u2019s saying or if this is him speaking as a pastor.\u00a0 I wonder if this is Lindsey writing as a counselor.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo, we wanted to put in there\u2014and we did put one line in there\u2014that says, \u201cWe are writing this from professional, pastoral, and personal experiences.\u201d\u00a0 We just wanted to leave it at that.\u00a0 We wrote it <em>to <\/em>victims.\u00a0 We thought, \u201cIf we said that, they would realize that someone there\u2014\u201c \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we also didn\u2019t want them to think, \u201cOkay, that\u2019s a guy.\u00a0 I\u2019m a woman.\u00a0 He was younger.\u201d\u00a0 (I was 10 or 11 years old)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re speaking of when it happened to you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 When it happened to me.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And so, both because of the gender\u2014because if a woman was reading it, she might think, \u201cWell, my situation was really different.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know if what he\u2019s saying here really applies to me.\u201d\u00a0 We didn\u2019t want to clutter it up and create white noise.\u00a0 So we included six other stories from people that are just friends with us or people that we\u2019ve counseled.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You and Lindsey have counseled hundreds of people who have experienced sexual abuse.\u00a0 Having come from that as a part of your background, does it make it easier, or is it harder to counsel them because every time you are in there hearing their story, it\u2019s got to be pulling an old scab on you, doesn\u2019t it?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 It does.\u00a0 It triggers.\u00a0 It triggers.\u00a0 I know the memories.\u00a0 Memories don\u2019t know time.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to get to your story in a moment; but there\u2019s a message of your book that you get right to, right off the start.\u00a0 It has to do with what victims of sexual abuse experience\u2014and that\u2019s blame.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Self-blame and cultural-blame.\u00a0 Because of sexual assault\u2014because it\u2019s so devastating for people and because people don\u2019t know how to respond to it\u2014there\u2019s a lot of silence.\u00a0 What happens in the vacuum of silence is that a victim will have that experience of sexual assault.\u00a0 They will start by blaming themselves, \u201cWhat did I do to deserve that?\u00a0 Did I drink too much?\u00a0 Did I wear the wrong clothes?\u00a0 Was I flirting?\u00a0 Why did I walk home at 2:00 in the morning?\u00a0 Why wasn\u2019t I more vigilant?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey start looking around and asking the \u201cwhat if\u201d questions, \u201cWhat if I had done something different?\u201d\u00a0 Self-blame kicks in, and that is extremely strong; but because our culture doesn\u2019t like to talk about sexual assault \u2013it\u2019s a taboo\u2014so culturally, there\u2019s just this sense of this blanket of silence that intensifies that self-blame.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 But then, victim-blaming.\u00a0 I saw that being taught at a university.\u00a0 For five years, I was a university professor and I was a campus minister.\u00a0 I actually saw men and women who were assaulted at frat parties or on dates.\u00a0 The things that were questioned about them or that were said about them!\u00a0 Like, \u201cOh, yeah, yeah!\u00a0 We know about her.\u00a0 She\u2019s promiscuous.\u201d\u00a0 That somehow undermines the fact of what happened to her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 If she was assaulted, then the word is, \u201cShe wants it,\u201d or \u201cShe\u2019s promiscuous,\u201d or whatever.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Exactly.\u00a0 Or, \u201cWell, she was drinking.\u00a0 What did she expect?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Hearing something ridiculous like that\u2014that then puts the responsibility on the victim.\u00a0 That happens a lot with sexual assault, as opposed to other types of crimes and assaults.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 What about God-blaming in the midst of all this?\u00a0 Because, I imagine, at some point in your own processing, every sexual-assault victim has to be saying, \u201cNow wait a second.\u00a0 If there is a God Who loves me and Who is sovereign, Who is in control of all things, where was He when this was happening to me?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That question did not hit home with me.\u00a0 That wasn\u2019t something like \u201ca rock in my shoe\u201d that I felt the pain of every time I took a step, but it\u2019s probably the question I hear most frequently.\u00a0 It\u2019s the topic that\u2019s brought up most frequently.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt usually happens early in talking with a victim; the questioning of \u201cOkay, I know I\u2019m reading the Bible and the Bible says, \u2018God is good, loving, and powerful.\u2019\u00a0 I am His.\u00a0 So, a good father would want to protect.\u00a0 It seems like I wasn\u2019t protected.\u201d That\u2019s that question; that problem.\u00a0 There\u2019s the evil question and, \u201cWhy is there suffering?\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut something else I\u2019ve noticed is that those who suffer\u2014in any kind of suffering, not just sexual assault\u2014When they go through it, and they\u2019re engaging the God of the Psalms and Ecclesiastes and Job\u2014not the American god of, \u201cGet going and be good, and I\u2019ll like you\u201d\u2014not this kind of Deistic, distant god\u2014but the God Who listens to those that cry out.\u00a0 That question starts to melt.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t make it go away.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t erase it.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t even lose its pup; but what it does for that question of, \u201cWhere were you?\u201d ,\u00a0 they actually realize, \u201cI can ask that question.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen, they start asking the question\u2014and there\u2019s a story in the book by Mandy\u2014we changed all of the names.\u00a0 She had multiple assailants.\u00a0 She was asking that question.\u00a0 The answer that she felt like God gave her was that, \u201cWhat they used for evil, He would ban that evil for good\u2014for you because I love you.\u00a0 Not even that will separate you from My love for you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tShe actually realized that God was answering back to that question now.\u00a0 So, I don\u2019t want people not asking that question.\u00a0 I want people to hit that one head-on.\u00a0 I tell people all the time that He can handle it.\u00a0 He\u2019s not afraid of your emotions.\u00a0 He\u2019s not afraid of your thoughts.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf the God that we\u2019re pointing to and talking about can\u2019t handle how you feel, then we\u2019ve created a really wimpy version of God.\u00a0 It makes me think of J.D. Phillips\u2019 book <em>Your God Is Too Small.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And we\u2019ve just offered a miniature version of the God of the Bible.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And what you have in the Bible are so many promises that God <em>is <\/em>good, and that He causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.\u00a0 What I hear you saying is that you call people back to <em>what<\/em> are they going to believe and <em>who<\/em> are they going to believe\u201d as they moved forward.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to take a step back, though, to your story.\u00a0 I want to go back to when you were a boy of 10, 11 years old.\u00a0 You said you grew up in a good, Christian family.\u00a0 Is that right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 A wonderful Christian family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your parents protected you?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 They loved me!\u00a0 I learned the words \u201cunconditional love\u201d by my parents.\u00a0 They said, \u201cWe love you unconditionally.\u201d\u00a0 I lived in Florida, and I knew what air conditioning was.\u00a0 I was confused about \u201cunconditional love\u201d\u2014air condition.\u00a0 (Laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat is this \u201cair conditioning love\u201d thing?\u00a0 My dad said, \u201cNo.\u00a0 Unconditional love means there\u2019s nothing you can do that will cause me to not love you.\u201d\u00a0 That\u2019s how God loves us.\u00a0 My dad was great!\u00a0 My mom and dad were very good sinners.\u00a0 They grew up and were hippies.\u00a0 They grew up in abusive homes.\u00a0 They had track records.\u00a0 When they heard about Jesus, they were quick to repent and <em>thrilled <\/em>with the good news!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And they had experienced grace.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So they knew how to dispense it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Sure did.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 So they literally trained you in knowing how to experience grace?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That may have something to do with how you\u2019ve come through your own situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Was it a family member, a friend?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was an extended family member\u2014an older male, who was 17.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Did you have any sense of what was going on, the rightness or the wrongness of it?\u00a0 What was happening to a 10-year-old brain when a 17-year-old says, \u201cLet\u2019s try this\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That was really confusing!\u00a0 That threw me for a loop of, \u201cOkay, my body\u2019s changing\u2014and urges, desires.\u00a0 Are these good or bad?\u201d\u00a0 Just the basic questions.\u00a0 So, mixed with that was curiosity and his sin\u2014put together.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThere was no real way for me to know how to separate the two.\u00a0 They were blended together.\u00a0 So, what that did was have a significant influence on how I thought about sex and my body.\u00a0 It got me into the trajectory of thinking that sex and sexuality has a \u201cgrossness\u201d to it.\u00a0 It blended with the sense of shame.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe sense of shame\u2014the sense of shame for me\u2014that was heavy.\u00a0 Of thinking, \u201cDid I do something that made him think that I wanted him to do that to me?\u201d\u00a0 Then, the really confusing part was\u2014and this happens to a lot of victims\u2014was that there was arousal.\u00a0 So, then, you\u2019re thinking, \u201cMaybe I really did want that.\u00a0 It looked like my body said I did.\u201d\u00a0 Just adding that level of confusion; and then you\u2019re spinning around, wondering\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI didn\u2019t know who in the world to talk to.\u00a0 My parents had always told me, \u201cYou can tell us <em>anything <\/em>you want.\u201d\u00a0 I mean, they had things happen to them.\u00a0 So, they wanted to make sure that if anything ever happened to me or anything\u2014 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey said, \u201cThere\u2019s nothing you can tell us that will shock us.\u201d\u00a0 I never talked to them.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t talk to them for <em>years <\/em>about it.\u00a0 God was really faithful in navigating my little 10- year-old\/11-year-old heart.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Didn\u2019t talk to them because\u2014?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Shame.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Because you just couldn\u2019t look at Mom or Dad and say, \u201cHere\u2019s what happened\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 I felt disgusting.\u00a0 I felt filthy, and disgusting, and dirty.\u00a0 I thought, \u201cI know they said \u2018unconditional,\u2019 but they surely didn\u2019t think this would happen.\u00a0 I\u2019m gross!\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Many victims who have been sexually assaulted are manipulated.\u00a0 They\u2019re lured into a trap, and then they\u2019re snared in a way.\u00a0 Was that true in your situation?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Oh, yes.\u00a0 It was coordinated.\u00a0 Realizing that, looking back, I would even say there were times when the perpetrator was really charming to my parents.\u00a0 There was just this sense of safety that he could be trusted.\u00a0 Because he was five years older than me, that played into it a little bit.\u00a0 I have a younger sister who is five years younger than me.\u00a0 I was always the big brother.\u00a0 I knew what protecting my little sister looked like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen having this male, five years older than me\u2014five years older\u2014it was kind of a cool thing to have someone\u2014I got to be the \u201clittle brother.\u201d\u00a0 He kind of was my \u201cbig brother\u201d in that sense just because I knew what that was like, and I liked it.\u00a0 So he played into that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Created safety, and also more than likely, created a relationship with you that invited you into the relationship with him; and then it got twisted into the sexual dimension. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, absolutely.\u00a0 Something that is important is that most perpetrators don\u2019t just have one victim, they have multiple victims.\u00a0 Three years later, after that, when he was charged with sexual assault in a date rape case, everyone in the family thought there was no way; no way that he could have done that.\u00a0 I was the lone one in the family saying, \u201cI can guarantee you he did.\u201d\u00a0 No one knew why I was so vigilant about that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even that didn\u2019t cause you to come out and tell your parents what had happened?!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s the power of shame.\u00a0 That\u2019s what shame does.\u00a0 It literally is a prison that shuts people down.\u00a0 It\u2019s the shame on one side, and then it questions your identity.\u00a0 \u201cAm I really a Christian if I like that--?\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re not sure.\u00a0 \u201cAm I really, really a Christian? or, \u201cAm I just a bad person?\u00a0 What am I?\u00a0 Who am I before God?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen you have this shame and silence.\u00a0 Again, my poor parents said, \u201cWe didn\u2019t have <em>any idea<\/em>.\u201d\u00a0 I told them, \u201cI know.\u00a0 I know you didn\u2019t know.\u201d\u00a0 They were the loving, wonderful, very protective parents.\u00a0 So this is happening, and can happen right under parents\u2019 noses.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin, we\u2019re undoubtedly talking to folks today who have had this experience and it\u2019s been locked up inside of them for decades.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been married; they\u2019ve got kids.\u00a0 They have never told a soul what\u2019s going on.\u00a0 In fact, if I remember right from your book, the majority of victims never tell anyone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, most victims don\u2019t have the opportunity to tell anyone.\u00a0 Most do not.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you say the \u201copportunity\u201d?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 They don\u2019t have the opportunity.\u00a0 They don\u2019t <em>think <\/em>that they have people in their lives that are safe enough.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That will give them grace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 One of the things I really encourage people in counseling to do is to look around and pray, and say, \u201cOkay.\u00a0 Is there someone?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I have a Christian who is telling me\u2014frequently, I\u2019m the first person they\u2019ve ever told in the Pastoral Care Counseling office.\u00a0 The next thing is, \u201cOkay.\u00a0 God is creative, and He\u2019s sovereign; and He\u2019s good and He loves you.\u00a0 Will you look around and see if there\u2019s someone else in your life that you can tell?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhen I ask that question, they come back the next time\u2014or when they start thinking about it.\u00a0 They\u2019ll come back with a list of people that they could.\u00a0 They just didn\u2019t <em>realize<\/em> that they could.\u00a0 They might start telling their spouse, or their parent, or their friends in community group.\u00a0 That\u2019s where a lot of the goodness happens.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So you\u2019re saying to, \u201cOpen that door.\u201d\u00a0 The person, who\u2019s listening, who says, \u201cI\u2019ve never told anybody.\u00a0 I\u2019m so ashamed.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t tell my husband,\u201d or, \u201cI couldn\u2019t tell my wife.\u201d\u00a0 You\u2019re saying, \u201cYou\u2019ve got to unlock that door, and you\u2019ve got to figure out who the safe people are.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got to get it out, even if it was 20 years ago and you think you\u2019ve got it walled-off and it\u2019s okay.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Back to what I said earlier, \u201cMemory doesn\u2019t know time.\u201d\u00a0 Time doesn\u2019t heal all wounds.\u00a0 So, especially if it was 20 or 30 years ago.\u00a0 Pray about this, think about this.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to take some courage and some bravery.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou don\u2019t have to say everything!\u00a0 I really want to encourage people\u2014think through, \u201cIs there someone who will listen and believe you?\u201d\u00a0 You don\u2019t have to say everything.\u00a0 You can start with just a part of the story\u2014with one piece of the story.\u00a0 Then see how they respond.\u00a0 Hopefully, God in His sovereignty and creativity and love, has placed people around them like pastors, friends, sibling\u2014whatever their situation is\u2014who will be agents of grace for them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Justin, I want you to just take a moment and speak to the person who may be the confidante.\u00a0 They may be the one not to go tell someone else.\u00a0 They may be the person someone is about to share this with.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat\u2019s your best counsel for them?\u00a0 You\u2019ve already given a couple here:\u00a0 \u201cListen carefully to what they say, and then believe them when they tell you.\u201d\u00a0 Is there anything else that they really need to practice, in the safety of this relationship?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 They need to not offer simplistic platitudes and go straight to fixing God\u2019s reputation and doing apologetics, explaining the problem of evil and getting all philosophical.\u00a0 They need to sit in there and listen to the story.\u00a0 Don\u2019t ask probing questions because probing questions can re-victimize.\u00a0 Let them tell the story.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tDon\u2019t do it voyeuristically, like, \u201cWhat happened next?\u201d\u00a0 Don\u2019t offer just simplistic things like, \u201cOut of bad things, good things come.\u201d\u00a0 Yes, God works wonders through the suffering we go through.\u00a0\u00a0 He bends evil.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut there are certain things you just don\u2019t need to lead off with in the middle of someone opening up and showing you this big, gaping wound that they\u2019ve had.\u00a0 So listening, believing\u2014not offering just platitudes, not going philosophical.\u00a0 Saying something like, \u201cI am so sorry that happened to you.\u201d\u00a0 You get really simple at that point.\u00a0 \u201cThank you for telling me.\u00a0 How can I pray for you?\u00a0 You\u2019re not crazy for feeling the way you do.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou are being emotionally and relationally hospitable.\u00a0 Just the same way as if you had someone coming into your house for dinner, you would be so aware of how they feel.\u00a0 \u201cAre they thirsty?\u00a0 What time do you think they want to eat?\u00a0 Where do they want to sit?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Justin:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, thinking through.\u00a0 When someone is telling you, try to imagine how painful or awkward or weird or ashamed\u2014how must they feel?\u00a0 Then try to respond in a way that would embody hospitality to them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want to go back to an earlier image that you used for the person who has been a victim of sexual assault.\u00a0 You explained earlier that they\u2019re imprisoned.\u00a0 If you\u2019re the one they\u2019re coming to and they have been unjustly self-condemned to a prison, think of someone who\u2019s getting out of prison who had been there for unrighteous reasons, for unjust reasons.\u00a0 How would you welcome them?\u00a0 What kind of grace would you extend them?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou would say, as you just said, \u201cMan, that is so wrong that that happened.\u00a0 I am so sorry.\u201d\u00a0 Then begin to extend the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ to them; the love of Christ; the comfort of Christ; the comfort of the Holy Spirit.\u00a0 I think all of these things are really important to that person who has confided in in that situation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Even the title of your book\u2014you call it <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>.\u00a0 You point out in the first chapters of the book that disgrace is the opposite of grace.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So, to respond with grace is to begin to undo some of the disgrace that you may have been experiencing for years as a result of sexual assault.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019ve got copies of Justin Holcomb\u2019s book, <em>Rid of My Disgrace,<\/em> in our <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> Resource Center.\u00a0 Go online at FamilyLIfeToday.com for more information about how to get a copy of this book.\u00a0 There\u2019s also information about other resources we have available, both online and in our Resource Center to help you with this particular subject.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, our website is FamilyLifeToday.com; or call us toll-free at 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 That\u2019s 1-800-\u201cF\u201d as in family, \u201cL\u201d as in life, and then the word \u201cTODAY.\u201d\u00a0 When you get in touch with us, we can answer any questions you have about the resources we have available or make arrangements to have a copy of Justin Holcomb\u2019s book, <em>Rid of My Disgrace<\/em>, sent to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, as many of you know, <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is listener-supported.\u00a0 Like a lot of the programs you hear on this station, our program depends on donations from folks like you to be able to cover the production and syndication costs associated with this daily radio program.\u00a0 Those of you who hear one of our programs and, from time to time, think, \u201cYou know?\u00a0 I want to help support that ministry and keep them on the air\u201d\u2014we appreciate it when you do get in touch with us and make a donation, whatever the amount is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis month, when you make a donation, we\u2019d like to send you as a thank-you gift, a brand-new family devotional from Barbara Rainey called <em>Growing Together in Truth<\/em>.\u00a0 Barbara has taken seven stories designed to be read aloud to your family to help reinforce the idea that embracing truth is a biblical idea.\u00a0 In a culture where truth is being minimized and where all things are seen as relative, reinforcing the idea of absolute truth as you raise your children is an important thing for Christian parents to do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAgain, this book is our gift to you when you make a donation to support <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>You can do that online at FamilyLifeToday.com, or you can call 1-800-FLTODAY and make a donation over the phone.\u00a0 If you make your donation online, type the word \u201cTRUTH\u201d in the key code box on the online donation form.\u00a0 If you call to make a donation over the phone, just ask for Barbara\u2019s devotional on truth.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to send it out to you.\u00a0 We are so grateful for your partnership with us here in the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 We always enjoy hearing from you!\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe want to encourage you to be back with us again tomorrow when we\u2019re going to talk more about the impact of sexual assault in a person\u2019s life.\u00a0 Tomorrow, we\u2019re going to see the definition of what constitutes sexual assault.\u00a0 It may be broader than you have realized.\u00a0 I hope you can be with us for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>\u00a0<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\t1\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>","theme_header_position":"","post_header_is_sticky":"","is_header_overlay":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast\/302373","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/podcast"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/91"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=302373"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/294104"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=302373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=302373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=302373"},{"taxonomy":"podcast_series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/podcast_series?post=302373"},{"taxonomy":"cwp_profile","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/cwp_profile?post=302373"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=302373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}