{"id":302361,"date":"2011-09-13T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-09-13T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/from-men-to-mentors\/"},"modified":"2011-09-13T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-09-13T15:00:00","slug":"from-men-to-mentors","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/from-men-to-mentors\/","title":{"rendered":"From Men to Mentors"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who was your model for manhood?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-09-13.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"21.98M","filesize_raw":"23049061","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2826],"tags":[4284,4868,4698],"podcast_series":[7824],"cwp_profile":[3048],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302361","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-men","tag-father","tag-husband","tag-manhood","podcast_series-a-call-to-courageous-manhood","cwp_profile-dennis-rainey","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302361\/from-men-to-mentors","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302361\/from-men-to-mentors","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"REBCCq1K6g\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/from-men-to-mentors\/\">From Men to Mentors<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/from-men-to-mentors\/embed\/#?secret=REBCCq1K6g\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;From Men to Mentors&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"REBCCq1K6g\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-09-13.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-09-13.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Every man ought to be intentionally investing his life in another man\u2019s life.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think in this age when we have so many young men coming out of homes where there aren\u2019t fathers, I think this is a responsibility older man have to look around and go, \u201cIs there somebody in my life that I need to reach down on the steps and call them to step up to manhood?\u201d\u00a0 You might not call it formal mentoring, but that\u2019s what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 You\u2019re discipling them; you\u2019re training them in life and what the Bible teaches about how to live life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today\u00ae<\/em> for Tuesday, September 13<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Stop for just a minute and think about a younger man you know, and what it might look like if you were investing in his life.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about how you do that today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Bob, did you know that men have it easier?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have what easier?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Somebody sent this to me, and I included this in our daily devotional, <em>Moments with You.<\/em>\u00a0 In a way, I can\u2019t believe I printed this, but now I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m saying it here on the air.\u00a0 Just listen to this and see if you agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you\u2019re a man, your last name stays put.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s true, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The garage is all yours.\u00a0 Wedding plans take care of themselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can never be pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wrinkles add character.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And in some cultures polite, I might add.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yep.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got one mood, usually all the time, usually.\u00a0 Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Uh-huh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can open all your own jars.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness, usually.\u00a0 If someone forgets to invite you somewhere, he can still be your friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.\u00a0 The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.\u00a0 You have to only shave your face and neck.\u00a0 You can play with toys all your life \u2013 although that\u2019s not a good idea.\u00a0 One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you can wear shorts no matter how your legs look and you can do your nails with a pocket knife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well now wait.\u00a0 This wearing shorts thing --\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen your \u2013 stick with long pants, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve gotten some ridicule for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there are some advantages to being a man.\u00a0 That\u2019s totally a spoof, obviously, but I just finished a book called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\u00a0 In the book I\u2019m talking about five steps I think every man should aspire to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one, he needs to move from boyhood to the second step of adolescence, to the third step of manhood.\u00a0 He needs to realize there are two steps beyond manhood that I think God wants us as men to embrace and be responsible for if we live long enough.\u00a0 The fourth step is that of being a mentor.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlready this week I\u2019ve mentioned II Timothy 2:2.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to read it this time instead of doing it from memory.\u00a0 Paul writes to Timothy.\u00a0 He says, \u201cAnd what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Paul is saying here, although he didn\u2019t say it this way, this is going to be my paraphrase:\u00a0 \u201cEvery man needs a mentor, and every man needs to become a mentor.\u201d\u00a0 In other words, we all are a part of a spiritual relay race where an older generation is passing on truth to us, and we in turn take the baton and place the truth in a younger generation\u2019s hand to carry on to their generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Or to put it another way, we all need to be drinking in from somewhere, and we all need to be pouring out into somebody else\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 The problem is, Bob, fear keeps us from edging out and really attempting a mentoring relationship.\u00a0 We\u2019re afraid to go ask someone to mentor us, or we\u2019re afraid somebody may ask us to mentor them.\u00a0 I\u2019m convinced that stepping up from manhood to mentor is going to demand courage.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s why so few guys do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you would agree that it ought to be the mentee or the prot\u00e9g\u00e9 who should seek out the relationship.\u00a0 In other words, I shouldn\u2019t be going around to younger guys and saying, \u201cWould you like me to mentor you?\u201d\u00a0 It seems a little arrogant to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think generally it may be more in the lap of the mentee to pursue the mentor.\u00a0 However, if you spot a young man who maybe didn\u2019t have a strong father in his life or hasn\u2019t had great coaches, great men in his life that have believed in him and cheered him on \u2013 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think in this age when we have so many young men coming out of homes where there aren\u2019t fathers, I think this is a responsibility older men have to look around and go, \u201cIs there somebody in my life that I need to reach down on the steps and call them to step up to manhood, and then offer them the opportunity to learn what that means by developing a relationship together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou might not call it formal mentoring but that\u2019s what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 You\u2019re discipling them, you\u2019re training them in life and what the Bible teaches about how to live life.\u00a0 A young man came to me one time.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to call him Michael.\u00a0 And he said, \u201cDennis, I\u2019m really scared to death to ask you this question,\u201d he said, \u201cBut I\u2019d really like to ask you if you\u2019d meet with me on a regular basis and mentor me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were in church together and we\u2019d been in a small group together, and it wasn\u2019t without a context that he came to me.\u00a0 I said, \u201cLet\u2019s get together.\u201d\u00a0 Well, for about six months we met together and he\u2019d bring issues or subjects he\u2019d like to talk about, and I\u2019d bring some, and finally I guess there was enough of a relationship that had been developed between Michael and me that he came to a lunch one day and he said, kind of sheepishly, \u201cDennis, there\u2019s something that is just sucking the life out of me and my marriage and my family, and I need to ask for your perspective on it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat it was, it was a brand new shiny pickup, purchased on debt, a nice, brand-new home with a fat mortgage, and credit card debt that had ballooned out of control to over $30 grand. $30,000, and he was sinking.\u00a0 I mean, he was embarrassed, he was ashamed, and I looked at him and I smiled and I said, \u201cYou know, I am really glad you trusted me with this.\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m going to say, don\u2019t you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd he smiled and looked at me and said, \u201cYep.\u00a0 It\u2019s time and I\u2019m ready.\u201d\u00a0 So I looked at him and I said, \u201cFirst thing I want you to do is get all your credit cards out tonight, put them on a cookie sheet and turn on the oven to about 500 degrees, and I want you to bake your credit cards quite nicely until they\u2019re all in one plastic puddle.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Till they\u2019re crispy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t let them catch on fire.\u00a0 Number two, sell your truck,\u201d which he did.\u00a0 By the way, he did the credit card thing, too.\u00a0 \u201cThird, downsize your house,\u201c which he also did, and then I said, \u201cI want you to methodically begin paying off all those credit card debts, the $30 grand you owe,\u201d and I\u2019m happy to report it took him about six years, but he has now done that.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t declare bankruptcy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI happened to run into him about three or four months ago.\u00a0 He has since moved to another city, but he said this to me.\u00a0 He said in an email that came after we ran into each other, he said, \u201cI am eternally grateful for the investment you made in me.\u00a0 You encouraged me to be the man on my 40<sup>th<\/sup> birthday, and you gave me the definition of being the man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow here\u2019s the deal, guys.\u00a0 There are all kinds of younger guys on this journey and on this trail, and they\u2019re trying to figure out what does it mean to be a man?\u00a0 Unfortunately they\u2019re tuning into TV and going on the internet to find out what that looks like to be a man.\u00a0 You guys, you know that isn\u2019t the place to find out.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat those younger men need is they need an older man who\u2019s got skin on in their lives, who is speaking the truth, living the truth, sharing life from his failures, his successes, and being authentic and honest with him and just growing with him through life.\u00a0 Bob, I just think older men are missing one of the grandest treats they\u2019ll ever experience in their lifetimes.\u00a0 I mean, you\u2019re mentoring younger men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019ve been involved in the lives of younger guys, and I\u2019ve benefitted from the relationship, they\u2019ve benefitted from the relationship, and I think you\u2019re right.\u00a0 I think the culture is giving us such a false picture of what authentic manhood looks like that we\u2019ve got to be asking where do we go in the Scriptures to get the right picture.\u00a0 Interestingly enough, I\u2019ve looked at the passages in 1 Timothy and in Titus that talk about the characteristics of an elder in a church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know some people look at that and go, \u201cWell, that\u2019s for the super spiritual, the really lofty saints.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, \u201cNo, that would be a standard that God would call every man to.\u201d\u00a0 So for guys to get together and say, \u201cOkay, how are we doing in these areas?\u00a0 How are you doing in your ability to teach God\u2019s Word to your children or to your wife?\u00a0 How are you doing in terms of not being pugnacious or a fighter,\u201d one of the things it talks about?\u00a0 Not given to much wine is one of the things it talks about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very practical issues that define spiritual maturity for men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Bob, you\u2019re fishing in the right water hole at that point if you\u2019re going to Paul\u2019s writings to Timothy, because 1 and 2 Timothy are what I drew from in pulling out three primary characteristics of a mentor.\u00a0 A mentor is much more than this, but just for the purpose of today\u2019s broadcast and for the book that I wrote, these are the three I selected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, a mentor is available.\u00a0 Now, if you\u2019ll ready 1 and 2 Timothy, you\u2019ll find that Paul wrote letters to Timothy, he consulted with Timothy, he was there for Timothy, he prayed for Timothy, he was engaged with Timothy on an ongoing basis.\u00a0 So much so, even at the end of his life when Paul is writing from prison, he\u2019s writing Timothy.\u00a0 He\u2019s passing on his life.\u00a0 He\u2019s available.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA number of years ago I ran into a guy whose name is Don Soderquist.\u00a0 I was actually trying to raise a little money here for FamilyLife to keep our broadcast on the air and sharing about the strategies of FamilyLife and how we\u2019re trying to build marriages and families here in America and around the world.\u00a0 I was talking to Don about possibly joining with us and being a part of the team.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was presenting this little power point to him, showing him the growth of FamilyLife, 600 percent over a ten-year period.\u00a0 I was kind of proud of that graph, you know.\u00a0 It was really upward and all that.\u00a0 All of a sudden it hit me who I was talking to.\u00a0 Don Soderquist went to work for a guy whose name was Sam, Sam Walton, in 1980 when Walmart was $1 billion in sales as a company.\u00a0 Twenty years later when Don left, it was a $200 billion plus company.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 All of a sudden your 600 percent graph didn\u2019t look so great, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was like twinkies.\u00a0 It was like, \u201cYeah, I know it\u2019s a ministry, but . . . . \u201c\u00a0 I started laughing.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat are you laughing about?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOh, I kind of realized who I was talking to.\u00a0 You were the COO of Walmart, and here I am talking to you about the growth of FamilyLife.\u00a0 I know that everything has its context, but I just couldn\u2019t help but laugh, Don, at the irony of me showing you my growth chart here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cBy the way,\u201d I said, \u201cWould you be willing to give me a day of your time to mentor me around vision casting?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cLet me think about that.\u201d\u00a0 So I got back with him and he said, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 So I drove to northwest Arkansas and spent a day with him, talking about how you cast a vision, because I believe what the family is going through today is really the result of the media and the culture just dumbing down marriage and family and removing what the noble call is, and the noble vision that God has given marriages and families, and I want to call people to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At the same time that the culture is doing that, men have not been stepping in and casting that vision and pointing people in the direction of that nobility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And Don really helped me with that.\u00a0 But the point is this:\u00a0 Don was available.\u00a0 He was a mentor available for just a day to spend time with me, and you know what?\u00a0 That was a great day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second aspect of a mentor is he is purposeful. 2 Timothy 2:2 is a great reminder of that.\u00a0 Paul says, \u201cLook, Timothy.\u00a0 These things which you have heard from me, listen to me, be intentional.\u00a0 Pass them on to not just men, but pass them on to faithful men, and by the way, Timothy, make sure those faithful men are passing them on to others.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think a mentor needs to look at a younger man\u2019s life that he\u2019s mentoring and be purposeful around the issues of life that he\u2019s facing, and help him deal with those issues biblically.\u00a0 A young man that I was mentoring, it became very, very clear that he needed to write a tribute to his dad.\u00a0 I sent him my book, <em>The Best Gift You\u2019ll Ever Give Your Parents<\/em>, and I challenged him to write a tribute to his father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe interesting thing was, it didn\u2019t take him a couple of years like it has other younger men I\u2019ve given this to.\u00a0 This guy wrote his tribute in about two months, and read his tribute to his dad, and said, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I\u2019m free.\u00a0 I\u2019m emancipated.\u00a0 I\u2019m my own man now.\u201d\u00a0 He did not realize some of the anger he had toward his father that he gave up.\u00a0 As he moved toward honor he realized he had to forgive his father.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll I was doing, Bob, was listening to his story, and I was thinking, \u201cI want to help you as a younger man move to a new phase in your life by putting your finger on an issue that\u2019s eating your lunch.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be like battery acid to your soul if you don\u2019t deal with it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a mentor does is he puts his finger on those issues and he coaches a young man to step up and deal with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s intentional.\u00a0 We could use that word, couldn\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We could use that word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mr. intentional.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We could use that word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m ribbing you because your son, Benjamin \u2013 that\u2019s the word he used to describe you.\u00a0 It\u2019s intentionality, it\u2019s purposefulness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re referring to the story of a friend of mine named Chip who asked my son, Ben, during the St. Louis Cardinals World Series when they beat Detroit \u2013 Yeah, that\u2019s a great moment.\u00a0 He asked my son what one word my son would use to describe me, and my son used the word \u201cintentional.\u201d\u00a0 Initially I didn\u2019t like it.\u00a0 Well, since it\u2019s accurate I\u2019ve had to learn to like it.\u00a0 But actually it\u2019s not a bad word because an intentional person is thoughtful about what they\u2019re doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrote down some of the things I\u2019ve mentored younger men in:\u00a0 facing an unexpected crisis or tragedy, managing his money, developing a real relationship with God, reading good books, understanding the Scriptures and applying them, raising their children, what kind of character is needed to succeed at work, how do you develop relationships with other men?\u00a0 By the way, Bob, this is a big one.\u00a0 Most younger men really don\u2019t know how to develop lifelong relationships with other men.\u00a0 They end up competing with them.\u00a0 They need some solid friendships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo a mentor is available.\u00a0 A mentor is purposeful and third, a mentor is authentic.\u00a0 I want to read to you from 2 Timothy chapter 4, verses 5 through 7, and just let you ponder the question, \u201cDo you think Paul was authentic with Timothy when he said this?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAs for you, always be sober-minded.\u00a0 Endure suffering.\u00a0 Do the work of an evangelist.\u00a0 Fulfill your ministry.\u00a0 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come.\u00a0 I have fought the good fight.\u00a0 I have finished the race.\u00a0 I have kept the faith.\u00a0 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul kind of pulls his chest muscles back and lets Timothy peer into his heart, and he says, \u201cTimothy, look.\u00a0 I have been stretched out all the way to the finish line.\u00a0 Run to finish your race, Timothy.\u00a0 If you fall down and stumble, get up and keep running and keep facing the finish line.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, I\u2019ve had two older men in my life, Bill Bright, who is now in heaven, and another man who I dedicated this book to, Dr. Howard Hendricks, who have stayed stretched out to the finish line all the way.\u00a0 Prof, Dr. Hendricks, is approaching 90.\u00a0 Amazing.\u00a0 He has still got a heart that beats for the work of God on this planet.\u00a0 Every man regardless of what step he\u2019s standing on, needs an older man who is ahead of him in the race of life who can encourage him to keep stepping up and keep stretching out to that finish line and run the race well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, I think where you\u2019ve helped guys in this area is by giving us not only a picture of what it should look like, but some very practical instruction on how we can do it.\u00a0 And then you just looked all of us in the eye and said, \u201cLook, you can do it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou may think to yourself \u201cI don\u2019t have enough to offer,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ve still got too many problems of my own.\u201d\u00a0 Every guy can do this, and you\u2019ve equipped us on how to do it in the book <em>Stepping Up.<\/em>\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the reasons why, over the next couple of weeks we want to invite listeners to get a copy of this book.\u00a0 All you have to do is call <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>and make a donation in support of the ministry and ask for a copy, and we\u2019ll send it to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 If you make your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, just type \u201cSTEP\u201d into the key code box, and we\u2019ll send a copy of the book to you.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone and ask for a copy of the book <em>Stepping Up.<\/em>\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to get it out to you.\u00a0 We want as many guys as possible to read the book and maybe go through it with some other guys, in hopes that this will give guys a vision for what their lives can look like as they seek to be godly men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition to the book being available if you make a donation this month, for those of you who have eBook readers, a Kindle or a Nook or an iBook reader, the book is available in those formats as well.\u00a0 Right now it\u2019s available for $1.99.\u00a0 So go wherever it is that you get your eBook for your Kindle or your Nook or your iBook reader, and you should find the book available there, again for $1.99.\u00a0 That\u2019s the price between now and October 15<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re doing this because we hope every man who\u2019s listening will get a copy of the book.\u00a0 Either make a donation and we\u2019ll send you a copy of the hardback book, or you can download the eBook and use that with your eBook reader, again for only $1.99 between now and the middle of October.\u00a0 We\u2019re hoping that men will read this book with other men, and that it will spark a lot of guys stepping up to be the man that God wants them to be.\u00a0 So we hope to hear from you; hope you get a copy of Dennis\u2019 new book, <em>Stepping Up.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was several months ago when we were together with all of the couples who speak at our FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways, and one of the men who was there is one of the men who has been a mentor in your life, one who we\u2019ve talked about today, Dr. Howard Hendricks.\u00a0 At the close of the evening, you asked Dr. Hendricks to pray for the couples who speak at these <em>Weekends to Remember.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it would be good for our listeners to hear just what it sounds like as an older man, a mentor and a patriarch to many, many men, to hear what it sounds like as he prays for these couples as they get ready to speak at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways this fall.\u00a0 Here is Dr. Howard Hendricks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Hendricks:<\/strong><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Father, what an incredible experience it is to spend time with men and women who are sold out to Jesus Christ.\u00a0 And Father, we are very humble when we listen to so many things that God has used and to realize it\u2019s not me, it\u2019s not us, it\u2019s Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Lord we pray that in whatever life we have left we may continue to focus the attention of those to whom we minister on the Lord Jesus Christ, and pray that he may continue to control and shape and impact our life, to the greater glory of our Lord.\u00a0 So thank you very much for Your grace as seen in the life of each of us.\u00a0 And we give You the honor and the glory, in Christ\u2019s wonderful name.\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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was your model for manhood?","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-09-13.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Every man ought to be intentionally investing his life in another man\u2019s life.\u00a0 Here\u2019s Dennis Rainey.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think in this age when we have so many young men coming out of homes where there aren\u2019t fathers, I think this is a responsibility older man have to look around and go, \u201cIs there somebody in my life that I need to reach down on the steps and call them to step up to manhood?\u201d\u00a0 You might not call it formal mentoring, but that\u2019s what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 You\u2019re discipling them; you\u2019re training them in life and what the Bible teaches about how to live life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today\u00ae<\/em> for Tuesday, September 13<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 Stop for just a minute and think about a younger man you know, and what it might look like if you were investing in his life.\u00a0 We\u2019re going to talk about how you do that today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong><strong>\u00a0 <\/strong>Bob, did you know that men have it easier?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Have what easier?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Somebody sent this to me, and I included this in our daily devotional, <em>Moments with You.<\/em>\u00a0 In a way, I can\u2019t believe I printed this, but now I can\u2019t believe I\u2019m saying it here on the air.\u00a0 Just listen to this and see if you agree.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Okay.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 When you\u2019re a man, your last name stays put.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s true, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The garage is all yours.\u00a0 Wedding plans take care of themselves.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s true.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can never be pregnant.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Wrinkles add character.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah, yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And in some cultures polite, I might add.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yep.\u00a0 You\u2019ve got one mood, usually all the time, usually.\u00a0 Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Uh-huh.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You can open all your own jars.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness, usually.\u00a0 If someone forgets to invite you somewhere, he can still be your friend.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.\u00a0 The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.\u00a0 You have to only shave your face and neck.\u00a0 You can play with toys all your life \u2013 although that\u2019s not a good idea.\u00a0 One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yeah.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you can wear shorts no matter how your legs look and you can do your nails with a pocket knife.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well now wait.\u00a0 This wearing shorts thing --\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve seen your \u2013 stick with long pants, Bob.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019ve gotten some ridicule for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, there are some advantages to being a man.\u00a0 That\u2019s totally a spoof, obviously, but I just finished a book called <em>Stepping Up: A Call to Courageous Manhood<\/em>.\u00a0 In the book I\u2019m talking about five steps I think every man should aspire to.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNumber one, he needs to move from boyhood to the second step of adolescence, to the third step of manhood.\u00a0 He needs to realize there are two steps beyond manhood that I think God wants us as men to embrace and be responsible for if we live long enough.\u00a0 The fourth step is that of being a mentor.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAlready this week I\u2019ve mentioned II Timothy 2:2.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to read it this time instead of doing it from memory.\u00a0 Paul writes to Timothy.\u00a0 He says, \u201cAnd what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat Paul is saying here, although he didn\u2019t say it this way, this is going to be my paraphrase:\u00a0 \u201cEvery man needs a mentor, and every man needs to become a mentor.\u201d\u00a0 In other words, we all are a part of a spiritual relay race where an older generation is passing on truth to us, and we in turn take the baton and place the truth in a younger generation\u2019s hand to carry on to their generation.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Or to put it another way, we all need to be drinking in from somewhere, and we all need to be pouring out into somebody else\u2019s life.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 The problem is, Bob, fear keeps us from edging out and really attempting a mentoring relationship.\u00a0 We\u2019re afraid to go ask someone to mentor us, or we\u2019re afraid somebody may ask us to mentor them.\u00a0 I\u2019m convinced that stepping up from manhood to mentor is going to demand courage.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s why so few guys do it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And you would agree that it ought to be the mentee or the prot\u00e9g\u00e9 who should seek out the relationship.\u00a0 In other words, I shouldn\u2019t be going around to younger guys and saying, \u201cWould you like me to mentor you?\u201d\u00a0 It seems a little arrogant to do that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, I think generally it may be more in the lap of the mentee to pursue the mentor.\u00a0 However, if you spot a young man who maybe didn\u2019t have a strong father in his life or hasn\u2019t had great coaches, great men in his life that have believed in him and cheered him on \u2013 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think in this age when we have so many young men coming out of homes where there aren\u2019t fathers, I think this is a responsibility older men have to look around and go, \u201cIs there somebody in my life that I need to reach down on the steps and call them to step up to manhood, and then offer them the opportunity to learn what that means by developing a relationship together.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou might not call it formal mentoring but that\u2019s what you\u2019re doing.\u00a0 You\u2019re discipling them, you\u2019re training them in life and what the Bible teaches about how to live life.\u00a0 A young man came to me one time.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to call him Michael.\u00a0 And he said, \u201cDennis, I\u2019m really scared to death to ask you this question,\u201d he said, \u201cBut I\u2019d really like to ask you if you\u2019d meet with me on a regular basis and mentor me.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe were in church together and we\u2019d been in a small group together, and it wasn\u2019t without a context that he came to me.\u00a0 I said, \u201cLet\u2019s get together.\u201d\u00a0 Well, for about six months we met together and he\u2019d bring issues or subjects he\u2019d like to talk about, and I\u2019d bring some, and finally I guess there was enough of a relationship that had been developed between Michael and me that he came to a lunch one day and he said, kind of sheepishly, \u201cDennis, there\u2019s something that is just sucking the life out of me and my marriage and my family, and I need to ask for your perspective on it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat it was, it was a brand new shiny pickup, purchased on debt, a nice, brand-new home with a fat mortgage, and credit card debt that had ballooned out of control to over $30 grand. $30,000, and he was sinking.\u00a0 I mean, he was embarrassed, he was ashamed, and I looked at him and I smiled and I said, \u201cYou know, I am really glad you trusted me with this.\u00a0 You know what I\u2019m going to say, don\u2019t you?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd he smiled and looked at me and said, \u201cYep.\u00a0 It\u2019s time and I\u2019m ready.\u201d\u00a0 So I looked at him and I said, \u201cFirst thing I want you to do is get all your credit cards out tonight, put them on a cookie sheet and turn on the oven to about 500 degrees, and I want you to bake your credit cards quite nicely until they\u2019re all in one plastic puddle.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Till they\u2019re crispy.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t let them catch on fire.\u00a0 Number two, sell your truck,\u201d which he did.\u00a0 By the way, he did the credit card thing, too.\u00a0 \u201cThird, downsize your house,\u201c which he also did, and then I said, \u201cI want you to methodically begin paying off all those credit card debts, the $30 grand you owe,\u201d and I\u2019m happy to report it took him about six years, but he has now done that.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t declare bankruptcy.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI happened to run into him about three or four months ago.\u00a0 He has since moved to another city, but he said this to me.\u00a0 He said in an email that came after we ran into each other, he said, \u201cI am eternally grateful for the investment you made in me.\u00a0 You encouraged me to be the man on my 40<sup>th<\/sup> birthday, and you gave me the definition of being the man.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow here\u2019s the deal, guys.\u00a0 There are all kinds of younger guys on this journey and on this trail, and they\u2019re trying to figure out what does it mean to be a man?\u00a0 Unfortunately they\u2019re tuning into TV and going on the internet to find out what that looks like to be a man.\u00a0 You guys, you know that isn\u2019t the place to find out.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat those younger men need is they need an older man who\u2019s got skin on in their lives, who is speaking the truth, living the truth, sharing life from his failures, his successes, and being authentic and honest with him and just growing with him through life.\u00a0 Bob, I just think older men are missing one of the grandest treats they\u2019ll ever experience in their lifetimes.\u00a0 I mean, you\u2019re mentoring younger men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, I\u2019ve been involved in the lives of younger guys, and I\u2019ve benefitted from the relationship, they\u2019ve benefitted from the relationship, and I think you\u2019re right.\u00a0 I think the culture is giving us such a false picture of what authentic manhood looks like that we\u2019ve got to be asking where do we go in the Scriptures to get the right picture.\u00a0 Interestingly enough, I\u2019ve looked at the passages in 1 Timothy and in Titus that talk about the characteristics of an elder in a church. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI know some people look at that and go, \u201cWell, that\u2019s for the super spiritual, the really lofty saints.\u201d\u00a0 I\u2019m thinking, \u201cNo, that would be a standard that God would call every man to.\u201d\u00a0 So for guys to get together and say, \u201cOkay, how are we doing in these areas?\u00a0 How are you doing in your ability to teach God\u2019s Word to your children or to your wife?\u00a0 How are you doing in terms of not being pugnacious or a fighter,\u201d one of the things it talks about?\u00a0 Not given to much wine is one of the things it talks about.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Very practical issues that define spiritual maturity for men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Bob, you\u2019re fishing in the right water hole at that point if you\u2019re going to Paul\u2019s writings to Timothy, because 1 and 2 Timothy are what I drew from in pulling out three primary characteristics of a mentor.\u00a0 A mentor is much more than this, but just for the purpose of today\u2019s broadcast and for the book that I wrote, these are the three I selected.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tFirst of all, a mentor is available.\u00a0 Now, if you\u2019ll ready 1 and 2 Timothy, you\u2019ll find that Paul wrote letters to Timothy, he consulted with Timothy, he was there for Timothy, he prayed for Timothy, he was engaged with Timothy on an ongoing basis.\u00a0 So much so, even at the end of his life when Paul is writing from prison, he\u2019s writing Timothy.\u00a0 He\u2019s passing on his life.\u00a0 He\u2019s available.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA number of years ago I ran into a guy whose name is Don Soderquist.\u00a0 I was actually trying to raise a little money here for FamilyLife to keep our broadcast on the air and sharing about the strategies of FamilyLife and how we\u2019re trying to build marriages and families here in America and around the world.\u00a0 I was talking to Don about possibly joining with us and being a part of the team.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI was presenting this little power point to him, showing him the growth of FamilyLife, 600 percent over a ten-year period.\u00a0 I was kind of proud of that graph, you know.\u00a0 It was really upward and all that.\u00a0 All of a sudden it hit me who I was talking to.\u00a0 Don Soderquist went to work for a guy whose name was Sam, Sam Walton, in 1980 when Walmart was $1 billion in sales as a company.\u00a0 Twenty years later when Don left, it was a $200 billion plus company.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 All of a sudden your 600 percent graph didn\u2019t look so great, huh?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was like twinkies.\u00a0 It was like, \u201cYeah, I know it\u2019s a ministry, but . . . . \u201c\u00a0 I started laughing.\u00a0 He said, \u201cWhat are you laughing about?\u201d\u00a0 I said, \u201cOh, I kind of realized who I was talking to.\u00a0 You were the COO of Walmart, and here I am talking to you about the growth of FamilyLife.\u00a0 I know that everything has its context, but I just couldn\u2019t help but laugh, Don, at the irony of me showing you my growth chart here.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI said, \u201cBy the way,\u201d I said, \u201cWould you be willing to give me a day of your time to mentor me around vision casting?\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cLet me think about that.\u201d\u00a0 So I got back with him and he said, \u201cYes.\u201d\u00a0 So I drove to northwest Arkansas and spent a day with him, talking about how you cast a vision, because I believe what the family is going through today is really the result of the media and the culture just dumbing down marriage and family and removing what the noble call is, and the noble vision that God has given marriages and families, and I want to call people to that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 At the same time that the culture is doing that, men have not been stepping in and casting that vision and pointing people in the direction of that nobility.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And Don really helped me with that.\u00a0 But the point is this:\u00a0 Don was available.\u00a0 He was a mentor available for just a day to spend time with me, and you know what?\u00a0 That was a great day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tA second aspect of a mentor is he is purposeful. 2 Timothy 2:2 is a great reminder of that.\u00a0 Paul says, \u201cLook, Timothy.\u00a0 These things which you have heard from me, listen to me, be intentional.\u00a0 Pass them on to not just men, but pass them on to faithful men, and by the way, Timothy, make sure those faithful men are passing them on to others.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think a mentor needs to look at a younger man\u2019s life that he\u2019s mentoring and be purposeful around the issues of life that he\u2019s facing, and help him deal with those issues biblically.\u00a0 A young man that I was mentoring, it became very, very clear that he needed to write a tribute to his dad.\u00a0 I sent him my book, <em>The Best Gift You\u2019ll Ever Give Your Parents<\/em>, and I challenged him to write a tribute to his father.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe interesting thing was, it didn\u2019t take him a couple of years like it has other younger men I\u2019ve given this to.\u00a0 This guy wrote his tribute in about two months, and read his tribute to his dad, and said, \u201cYou know what?\u00a0 I\u2019m free.\u00a0 I\u2019m emancipated.\u00a0 I\u2019m my own man now.\u201d\u00a0 He did not realize some of the anger he had toward his father that he gave up.\u00a0 As he moved toward honor he realized he had to forgive his father.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAll I was doing, Bob, was listening to his story, and I was thinking, \u201cI want to help you as a younger man move to a new phase in your life by putting your finger on an issue that\u2019s eating your lunch.\u00a0 It\u2019s going to be like battery acid to your soul if you don\u2019t deal with it.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWhat a mentor does is he puts his finger on those issues and he coaches a young man to step up and deal with it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 He\u2019s intentional.\u00a0 We could use that word, couldn\u2019t we?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We could use that word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mr. intentional.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 We could use that word.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I\u2019m ribbing you because your son, Benjamin \u2013 that\u2019s the word he used to describe you.\u00a0 It\u2019s intentionality, it\u2019s purposefulness.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re referring to the story of a friend of mine named Chip who asked my son, Ben, during the St. Louis Cardinals World Series when they beat Detroit \u2013 Yeah, that\u2019s a great moment.\u00a0 He asked my son what one word my son would use to describe me, and my son used the word \u201cintentional.\u201d\u00a0 Initially I didn\u2019t like it.\u00a0 Well, since it\u2019s accurate I\u2019ve had to learn to like it.\u00a0 But actually it\u2019s not a bad word because an intentional person is thoughtful about what they\u2019re doing.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI wrote down some of the things I\u2019ve mentored younger men in:\u00a0 facing an unexpected crisis or tragedy, managing his money, developing a real relationship with God, reading good books, understanding the Scriptures and applying them, raising their children, what kind of character is needed to succeed at work, how do you develop relationships with other men?\u00a0 By the way, Bob, this is a big one.\u00a0 Most younger men really don\u2019t know how to develop lifelong relationships with other men.\u00a0 They end up competing with them.\u00a0 They need some solid friendships.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo a mentor is available.\u00a0 A mentor is purposeful and third, a mentor is authentic.\u00a0 I want to read to you from 2 Timothy chapter 4, verses 5 through 7, and just let you ponder the question, \u201cDo you think Paul was authentic with Timothy when he said this?\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t\u201cAs for you, always be sober-minded.\u00a0 Endure suffering.\u00a0 Do the work of an evangelist.\u00a0 Fulfill your ministry.\u00a0 For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come.\u00a0 I have fought the good fight.\u00a0 I have finished the race.\u00a0 I have kept the faith.\u00a0 Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tPaul kind of pulls his chest muscles back and lets Timothy peer into his heart, and he says, \u201cTimothy, look.\u00a0 I have been stretched out all the way to the finish line.\u00a0 Run to finish your race, Timothy.\u00a0 If you fall down and stumble, get up and keep running and keep facing the finish line.\u201d \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBob, I\u2019ve had two older men in my life, Bill Bright, who is now in heaven, and another man who I dedicated this book to, Dr. Howard Hendricks, who have stayed stretched out to the finish line all the way.\u00a0 Prof, Dr. Hendricks, is approaching 90.\u00a0 Amazing.\u00a0 He has still got a heart that beats for the work of God on this planet.\u00a0 Every man regardless of what step he\u2019s standing on, needs an older man who is ahead of him in the race of life who can encourage him to keep stepping up and keep stretching out to that finish line and run the race well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Again, I think where you\u2019ve helped guys in this area is by giving us not only a picture of what it should look like, but some very practical instruction on how we can do it.\u00a0 And then you just looked all of us in the eye and said, \u201cLook, you can do it.\u201d\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou may think to yourself \u201cI don\u2019t have enough to offer,\u201d or \u201cI\u2019ve still got too many problems of my own.\u201d\u00a0 Every guy can do this, and you\u2019ve equipped us on how to do it in the book <em>Stepping Up.<\/em>\u00a0 That\u2019s one of the reasons why, over the next couple of weeks we want to invite listeners to get a copy of this book.\u00a0 All you have to do is call <em>FamilyLife Today <\/em>and make a donation in support of the ministry and ask for a copy, and we\u2019ll send it to you.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tGo online at FamilyLifeToday.com or call 1-800-FLTODAY.\u00a0 If you make your donation online at FamilyLifeToday.com, just type \u201cSTEP\u201d into the key code box, and we\u2019ll send a copy of the book to you.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, make a donation over the phone and ask for a copy of the book <em>Stepping Up.<\/em>\u00a0 Again, we\u2019re happy to get it out to you.\u00a0 We want as many guys as possible to read the book and maybe go through it with some other guys, in hopes that this will give guys a vision for what their lives can look like as they seek to be godly men.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn addition to the book being available if you make a donation this month, for those of you who have eBook readers, a Kindle or a Nook or an iBook reader, the book is available in those formats as well.\u00a0 Right now it\u2019s available for $1.99.\u00a0 So go wherever it is that you get your eBook for your Kindle or your Nook or your iBook reader, and you should find the book available there, again for $1.99.\u00a0 That\u2019s the price between now and October 15<sup>th<\/sup>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe\u2019re doing this because we hope every man who\u2019s listening will get a copy of the book.\u00a0 Either make a donation and we\u2019ll send you a copy of the hardback book, or you can download the eBook and use that with your eBook reader, again for only $1.99 between now and the middle of October.\u00a0 We\u2019re hoping that men will read this book with other men, and that it will spark a lot of guys stepping up to be the man that God wants them to be.\u00a0 So we hope to hear from you; hope you get a copy of Dennis\u2019 new book, <em>Stepping Up.<\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIt was several months ago when we were together with all of the couples who speak at our FamilyLife <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em>\u00ae marriage getaways, and one of the men who was there is one of the men who has been a mentor in your life, one who we\u2019ve talked about today, Dr. Howard Hendricks.\u00a0 At the close of the evening, you asked Dr. Hendricks to pray for the couples who speak at these <em>Weekends to Remember.<\/em><em>\u00a0 <\/em>\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think it would be good for our listeners to hear just what it sounds like as an older man, a mentor and a patriarch to many, many men, to hear what it sounds like as he prays for these couples as they get ready to speak at our <em>Weekend to Remember<\/em> marriage getaways this fall.\u00a0 Here is Dr. Howard Hendricks.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dr. Hendricks:<\/strong><em>\u00a0 <\/em>Father, what an incredible experience it is to spend time with men and women who are sold out to Jesus Christ.\u00a0 And Father, we are very humble when we listen to so many things that God has used and to realize it\u2019s not me, it\u2019s not us, it\u2019s Christ.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd Lord we pray that in whatever life we have left we may continue to focus the attention of those to whom we minister on the Lord Jesus Christ, and pray that he may continue to control and shape and impact our life, to the greater glory of our Lord.\u00a0 So thank you very much for Your grace as seen in the life of each of us.\u00a0 And we give You the honor and the glory, in Christ\u2019s wonderful name.\u00a0 Amen.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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