{"id":302355,"date":"2011-09-02T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2011-09-02T15:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/%series%\/adopting-at-risk-and-special-needs-child\/"},"modified":"2011-09-02T11:00:00","modified_gmt":"2011-09-02T15:00:00","slug":"adopting-at-risk-and-special-needs-child","status":"publish","type":"podcast","link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/adopting-at-risk-and-special-needs-child\/","title":{"rendered":"Adopting At-Risk and Special Needs Child"},"content":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Thousands of children are waiting for homes, and many of those waiting have special needs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":91,"featured_media":294104,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","inline_featured_image":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","episode_type":"","audio_file":"https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-09-02.mp3","podmotor_file_id":"","podmotor_episode_id":"","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"00:","filesize":"23.35M","filesize_raw":"24479148","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":""},"categories":[2818],"tags":[2712,4911],"podcast_series":[7822],"cwp_profile":[9240],"series":[2101],"class_list":["post-302355","podcast","type-podcast","status-publish","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adoption-and-orphans","tag-adoption","tag-orphan","podcast_series-helping-orphans-with-special-needs","cwp_profile-paul-and-robin-pennington","series-familylife-today"],"acf":[],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2024\/09\/FLT-Podcast-Cover-2-508x508-3.jpg?w=508","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/1001\/2023\/02\/image-scaled.jpg","download_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-download\/302355\/adopting-at-risk-and-special-needs-child","player_link":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast-player\/302355\/adopting-at-risk-and-special-needs-child","audio_player":null,"episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/familylife-today\/id212174303?mt=2&app=podcast","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0j5UaKdQOHQCuo1bt0ebEm","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"youtube":{"key":"youtube","url":"","label":"YouTube","class":"youtube","icon":"youtube.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/feed\/podcast\/familylife-today","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"zRa7sfZWNo\"><a href=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/adopting-at-risk-and-special-needs-child\/\">Adopting At-Risk and Special Needs Child<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/podcast\/familylife-today\/adopting-at-risk-and-special-needs-child\/embed\/#?secret=zRa7sfZWNo\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Adopting At-Risk and Special Needs Child&#8221; &#8212; FamilyLife\u00ae - A Cru Ministry\" data-secret=\"zRa7sfZWNo\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script>\n\/*! This file is auto-generated *\/\n!function(d,l){\"use strict\";l.querySelector&&d.addEventListener&&\"undefined\"!=typeof URL&&(d.wp=d.wp||{},d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage||(d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage=function(e){var t=e.data;if((t||t.secret||t.message||t.value)&&!\/[^a-zA-Z0-9]\/.test(t.secret)){for(var s,r,n,a=l.querySelectorAll('iframe[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),o=l.querySelectorAll('blockquote[data-secret=\"'+t.secret+'\"]'),c=new RegExp(\"^https?:$\",\"i\"),i=0;i<o.length;i++)o[i].style.display=\"none\";for(i=0;i<a.length;i++)s=a[i],e.source===s.contentWindow&&(s.removeAttribute(\"style\"),\"height\"===t.message?(1e3<(r=parseInt(t.value,10))?r=1e3:~~r<200&&(r=200),s.height=r):\"link\"===t.message&&(r=new URL(s.getAttribute(\"src\")),n=new URL(t.value),c.test(n.protocol))&&n.host===r.host&&l.activeElement===s&&(d.top.location.href=t.value))}},d.addEventListener(\"message\",d.wp.receiveEmbedMessage,!1),l.addEventListener(\"DOMContentLoaded\",function(){for(var e,t,s=l.querySelectorAll(\"iframe.wp-embedded-content\"),r=0;r<s.length;r++)(t=(e=s[r]).getAttribute(\"data-secret\"))||(t=Math.random().toString(36).substring(2,12),e.src+=\"#?secret=\"+t,e.setAttribute(\"data-secret\",t)),e.contentWindow.postMessage({message:\"ready\",secret:t},\"*\")},!1)))}(window,document);\n\/\/# sourceURL=https:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/wp-includes\/js\/wp-embed.min.js\n<\/script>\n"},"spectra_custom_meta":{"_wp_page_template":["default"],"transcript_url":["https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-09-02.pdf"],"audio_file":["https:\/\/web.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-09-02.mp3"],"transcript_content":["<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A growing number of parents have made the choice to sacrifice and to care for children with special needs, children they\u2019ve adopted into their family.\u00a0 How can we as their brothers and sisters encourage those parents and minister to them?\u00a0 Here is Paul Pennington.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 All over the United States there are families who have adopted special needs and kids from hard places, and when they go to church Sunday after Sunday there\u2019s never a break, there\u2019s never a rest, there\u2019s no one that really has thought about what it means to be a family called to take a child like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs special needs adoption increases, the one place where a family should feel safe, the one place where they have someone that understands, that gives them just that hour once a week where they can worship, should be their church.\u00a0 In those churches where they do think about that and they\u2019re being intentional, it\u2019s an incredible ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today\u00ae<\/em> for Friday, September 2<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 When a family in your church makes a decision to adopt, those children become a part of the covenant community, and you become a part of the support structure for those families.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I know when you and Barbara made the decision years ago to adopt, to expand your family by adoption that was something that God had put on both of your hearts.\u00a0 But I also know that you were not fully prepared for some of the challenges that would come with that decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0I would say this, Bob.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had a lot of privileges in my life.\u00a0 Adopting our daughter Deborah is right up there in the top five.\u00a0 It\u2019s just a privilege to say to a child, \u201cWe want you as our own, and we\u2019re going to graft you into our family, and we\u2019re going to love you as God empowers us to love you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing that Deborah would say today and that we would say is that it was not nearly as easy as we expected it to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not as easy for you, or for her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a challenge for her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, she was an infant so I don\u2019t think she had any expectations.\u00a0 She was looking for another meal at that point.\u00a0 But I think Barbara and I both entered into the whole process of adoption with the right motivation.\u00a0 We felt like God was doing a work in our hearts calling us into this privilege.\u00a0 But I think there are lessons to be learned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our Heavenly Father is in the adoption ministry, too.\u00a0 He\u2019s adopting people all over the world right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some hard cases.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And they\u2019re struggling, all of us.\u00a0 It\u2019s not just some of them; it\u2019s all of us from time to time reject the Father\u2019s love.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s in those moments when those of us who do adopt a child and welcome him or her into our family, when we need some outside resources to come alongside us and to equip us to know best how to love that child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a couple with us who are real \u2013 I don\u2019t want to use the word \u201cpro\u2019s\u201d, because that\u2019s really not what we\u2019re talking about here \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How about \u201cveterans?\u201d\u00a0 Can we call them veterans?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That would be a great one, because they have six children; five of them are adopted.\u00a0 They\u2019re just, in my opinion, real champions for the orphan.\u00a0 Paul and Robin Pennington join us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Robin, Paul, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of our listeners know them.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been in touch with Paul and Robin.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always wondered how Paul gets everything he gets done during the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack in 2002 Paul and Robin started an orphan care ministry in their local church.\u00a0 They wandered into Little Rock one day, kind of commandeering a lunch, which we\u2019ve already talked about earlier, and ended up coming here to FamilyLife and rolling up their sleeves, and really giving birth to more than just Hope for Orphans\u00ae, which is a division of FamilyLife, but also being a part of helping to give birth to the Summit, which is a gathering spot for orphan care, adoption advocates and foster care leaders from all over the United States and around the world, and now are helping couples all around the country know how to navigate the sometimes-challenging waters of raising an adopted child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to add \u2013 you guys didn\u2019t just adopt five kids, but Robin, these were kids who were coming into your home with physical challenges, who were going to demand more effort, energy, more of your time, more of your care.\u00a0 You were stepping up and being sacrificial from day one.\u00a0\u00a0 Tell me about the physical challenges that some of your kids had, and that you knew about as you were bringing them into the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, first of all, Bob, we weren\u2019t smart enough to ever think about it like you just said.\u00a0 We adopted them one at a time and didn\u2019t really see a lot of the challenges until later.\u00a0 And some of the challenges that we were concerned about ended up not being of any concern at all.\u00a0 Our first adoption was a domestic newborn who was a Caucasian little baby girl, and she now has five children and one of hers is adopted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen our next child we adopted as a ten-day-old infant, and he is a black American, and then after that we had a big eight-year gap.\u00a0 And then Ethan was our first international adoption from Korea, and he was not special needs.\u00a0 And then after Ethan came Hope, and she had five heart defects and kidney issues and other problems. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen our next one was Noah, who has short arms.\u00a0 Out of all of those children our biggest concern was Noah.\u00a0 We thought that his needs were going to be huge.\u00a0 I remember Paul saying before we decided to adopt him that he really didn\u2019t know if he could parent a child that had needs like this, and he didn\u2019t know if he would be what this child needed.\u00a0 Interestingly enough, that has ended up probably being our easiest child out of all six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now when you say that, what do you mean, \u201cThe easiest?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of families think that adopting the child with a physical disability is the most difficult thing.\u00a0 I think what Robin is saying is that we\u2019ve learned that that\u2019s not really the case.\u00a0 In Noah\u2019s case, here\u2019s a little boy who was born with short arms, missing fingers, doesn\u2019t have thumbs, has the best handwriting of my six children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 By far.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And how long are his arms?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 His hands barely reach his mouth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I\u2019ll never forget the first time I met him.\u00a0 He was a delightful young man, and you described him as you just did now, Paul.\u00a0 You described him as a problem solver.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mm hmm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 He really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t think \u2013 you just wouldn\u2019t naturally think that being born with a disability like that would create a mind that has to solve problems that the rest of us don\u2019t even have to address.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 The way Noah sees life is just really wonderful to me.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t get frustrated; he just doesn\u2019t give up.\u00a0 He\u2019s persistent, he\u2019s creative, he\u2019s an overcomer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Paul, twenty years ago if we had been talking about adopting children, the kids with short arms or heart defects were being overlooked.\u00a0 If most parents were going into an adoption agency, they were looking for the child to come with a clean bill of health.\u00a0 They were looking for what we\u2019d call the perfect baby.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday there is an openness.\u00a0 In fact, many Christians are saying, \u201cOur hearts and homes are open to kids with special needs, with physical defects.\u201d\u00a0 As I said, that can bring some challenges with it that parents aren\u2019t prepared for.\u00a0 You\u2019ve started to see this, and Hope for Orphans is really working to help churches and couples understand some of these challenges before they arrive.\u00a0 Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been seeing a need brewing in the church in America for quite some time now.\u00a0 Part of it is being driven by changes in the adoption landscape.\u00a0 More and more adoption is changing internationally.\u00a0 It\u2019s decreasing and the kids that are available are increasingly special needs, older and waiting kids, kids coming from hard places.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact this next year, we understand, maybe fifty to sixty percent of all the children from China will be special needs kids.\u00a0 And as the orphan ministry movement has grown in the United States, we have more and more families that are willing to take these kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut unfortunately there has not been the knowledge to be matched with that compassion as it should be.\u00a0 And as a result, there is a tension coming here because the adoption agencies were designed twenty years ago really for healthy infant adoption, and now we have hundreds, thousands of believers who are adopting kids from foster care and internationally that have special needs, they\u2019re older, actually they\u2019ve come from very hard places.\u00a0 And that\u2019s where the need is great, and that\u2019s what we\u2019re trying to address with the Institute.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned the Institute.\u00a0 Explain what the Hope for Orphans Institute\u00ae is all about.\u00a0 It\u2019s coming up here in a few weeks, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 The Hope for Orphans Institute will be on September 16<sup>th<\/sup> and the 17<sup>th<\/sup> at the Hope Center in Plano, Texas.\u00a0 Our real focus here is the local church serving at risk kids and at risk families.\u00a0 That\u2019s our goal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re training trainers.\u00a0 When you speak of the local church, you\u2019re wanting to equip perhaps some pastoral staff or lay couples who are giving leadership to orphan care, foster care and adoption ministries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 We have \u2013 this event is designed for leaders in the local church and orphan ministry, but equally for pastors, elders, those that are providing Biblical counseling and such, because it\u2019s not if, it\u2019s when.\u00a0 This is coming.\u00a0 There is a wave of this need coming; we see it every day.\u00a0 The agencies cannot meet that need through child and family services.\u00a0 The only place that can meet this need effectively and biblically is the local church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So \u2013 I\u2019m trying to imagine a family adopting a special needs child.\u00a0 How is that going to intersect with what\u2019s going on in the local church?\u00a0 I mean, they\u2019re doing their worship service on Sunday and they\u2019ve got small groups going on, and where\u2019s the church going to get involved in this happening, Robin?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, really through many means.\u00a0 One of the most important is helping families before they adopt to be prepared for what\u2019s to come, and that\u2019s through the lay leaders in the local church.\u00a0 The family who has already been there, walked that road before, can help this family before they get there.\u00a0 What should your expectations be?\u00a0 Because when you look at families that have successful adoptions, almost always the one key factor is that their expectations were realistic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd for families who are going into it with unreal expectations, they\u2019re just appalled that it could be so difficult.\u00a0 They don\u2019t know where to go for help, and as the church comes alongside that family before they get into trouble, they can help that family to see what\u2019s ahead for them, the needs of that child, and the needs of their children that are already in their home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had something \u2013 well, you\u2019d have to call it a tragedy \u2013 occur in your family.\u00a0 You had a daughter who adopted a special needs little boy, and from the very beginning you knew that the likelihood of him living a full, long life as we would think of it was not likely.\u00a0 Explain what happened and how the local church came alongside your daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our daughter, Elizabeth, and her husband, Matt, who have five children \u2013 well, actually they have six now \u2013 they adopted Benjamin from Korea.\u00a0 He was a year old and had basically in laymen\u2019s terms, half of a heart.\u00a0 As they brought Ben home, his needs were even more significant than they had realized.\u00a0 Through Paul and I helping, through their local church, who brought meals, who watched their other children while they went to doctors appointments \u2013 there was one point where they were in the hospital for six weeks straight with Benjamin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd they\u2019ve recently moved to Dallas near us, and they also attend The Village Church, and because Benjamin getting sick is such a concern with his heart and lungs, the church came alongside them and they set up a Sunday school class for our grandchildren.\u00a0 It was amazing.\u00a0 Every week they went to church and they just could not believe that people were giving their time for a private class for their kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also see like at Prestonwood Baptist in Dallas, they have an entire Special Needs ministry, and the woman who runs that is going to be one of the speakers at the Institute to help people know how can your church reach out and help these families, not just with adopted children but biological children who have special needs so the parents can attend church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the point is is that these churches are being intentional about welcoming and serving the special needs family, whether it\u2019s an adopted child or a biological child.\u00a0 One of the things we want to happen at the Institute is to give our attendees a vision for what special needs in the church should look like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut going back to Benjamin for just a minute, just to show you what this can mean \u2013 when Benjamin was in the last days of his life, he actually \u2013 I\u2019ll just kind of mention this \u2013 he told Robin and he told his mom \u2013 he said, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m going to be going to see Jesus soon.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How old was he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Turned six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was turning six, but we didn\u2019t know he was in the last days.\u00a0 Ben had been using oxygen for about a year-and-a-half all the time, and if he went more than 15 minutes without oxygen he would pass out.\u00a0 And my daughter and some friends in a Bible study started praying at the end of January that Ben might not need his oxygen anymore.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t tell anybody else other than this group that they were praying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbout ten days later Ben came to her and said, \u201cI don\u2019t need my oxygen.\u201d\u00a0 They told him, \u201cWell, you do have to have your oxygen,\u201d and he says, \u201cNo, I\u2019m going to see Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 So my daughter and her husband prayed about it and they said, \u201cWell, we\u2019ll take him off and let him go for a few minutes, and then have it be ready to put back on him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey took him off and he turned pink instead of blue \u2013 like he normally was a grayish-blue because the lack of oxygen \u2013 he turned completely pink and looked normal for the first time.\u00a0 None of us had ever seen that.\u00a0 And he went week after week.\u00a0 He told us that Jesus was coming to get him, and he told Elizabeth that he would miss her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 He even said that \u201cJesus is going to pick me up in a red car.\u201d\u00a0 And then one morning the kids came and they said, \u201cSomething\u2019s wrong with Ben.\u201d\u00a0 Noah and I ran down there and Elizabeth was holding Ben, and I heard her say, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Ben.\u00a0 You can go see Jesus now.\u201d\u00a0 And he closed his little eyes, and it wasn\u2019t five minutes and he was gone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I made one phone call to the people who had been providing the special needs care for their family at the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And they had been attending that church for a total of four months, so this was not the church that knew the family.\u00a0 It was a church that reached out and said, \u201cHere is a need, and we want to be a part of the solution.\u201d\u00a0 And as they came up the sidewalk after Ben went to be with the Lord, we were amazed that they sent their whole staff.\u00a0 I mean, eight people were standing there and started talking to the kids and took the kids individually outside and talked to them and kind of worked through \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Prayed with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 -- some of that with them and prayed with them.\u00a0 But that\u2019s just an \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Illustration \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 -- example of what the church can do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the truth is, is that all over the United States there are families who have adopted special needs and kids from hard places, and when they go to church Sunday after Sunday there\u2019s never a break, there\u2019s never a rest, there\u2019s no one that really has thought about what it means to be a family called to take a child like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in those churches where they do think about that and they\u2019re being intentional, it\u2019s an incredible ministry.\u00a0 And that\u2019s part of what we want people to see at the Institute, is that as special needs adoption increases, that the one place where a family should feel safe, the one place where they have someone that understands, that gives them just that hour once a week where they can worship, should be their church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want Bob to share in a moment how people can find out more information about the Hope for Orphans Institute, but I want to go back to Ben\u2019s memorial service.\u00a0 You gave all your grandchildren a little memorial gift to symbolize Ben\u2019s life, and the reason I want you to share this, Paul, and I heard you say this before, who would think of adopting a little infant, a 12-month-old infant who\u2019s terminal, who has half a heart?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you made the statement that every life has dignity and every child has worth and value, and even if a child\u2019s life is months, only lasts months, they deserve a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And your daughter and son-in-law did that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 They did.\u00a0 Here\u2019s a little boy that \u2013 there are thousands of these little boys and these little girls \u2013 and the doctors told Elizabeth he might live to be 20, but he could very easily not live for three months.\u00a0 And Elizabeth says that she and Matt, as they prayed, they realized that either way, if they took him, at least if he\u2019s not going to be here long, he could die with a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, isn\u2019t that what Jesus did for us?\u00a0 His plan for us in our sin, before He made the world, was a family.\u00a0 The answer for sin and the fall and all of the trash that we live on this planet with was that we could be part of a family.\u00a0 And here\u2019s this little boy with half a heart, and he came to Texas and he was our grandson, and God gave him faith.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe witnessed something that is a demonstration of the reality of God\u2019s Word and His truth, and this little boy believed and he had faith, just like Jesus says that we have to have faith like a child.\u00a0 We watched our little grandson, Benjamin, have that.\u00a0 I always will remember for the rest of my life that when he said, \u201cPapa, Jesus is going to pick me up in a red car,\u201d he looked me straight in the eye, and he knew in the spirit that Jesus was coming to get him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is reality.\u00a0 I was there when he was dying with Noah and Elizabeth and Matt, and when she said, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Ben.\u00a0 You can go see Jesus now,\u201d he just closed his eyes and he was gone, because he believed. God had given him faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo at the funeral I got all of the boys together and their dads, and I gave them each a little red car, and I said, \u201cI want you to remember and keep this car, because the most important thing you can know is who is going to pick you up at the end of your life, and you want that to be Jesus, just like He picked up Ben this week.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think what you\u2019re touching on there is a part of the physical lesson of adoption and the spiritual reality that God wants to adopt us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, He does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That He died and went to the cross and rose again on the third day so that He could indeed invite us into His family.\u00a0 And yet we\u2019ve got to receive the gift.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to reach out to the gift and take it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it\u2019s not about being good enough.\u00a0 It\u2019s not about being smart enough.\u00a0 It\u2019s not even about having a whole heart.\u00a0 It\u2019s just about being willing to receive.\u00a0 And there are folks who are out there that are listening who feel like they\u2019ve not been good enough and they don\u2019t deserve it, but the truth is, none of us deserve it.\u00a0 All you have to do is be willing to receive that gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And cry out to Jesus Christ, and pray the sinner\u2019s prayer, \u201cLord, be merciful to me, a sinner.\u201d\u00a0 I believe God at that point, I think He rescues, I think he declares you not guilty, and I think He places you in the ultimate forever family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And maybe some of our listeners have never understood what it means to have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and we\u2019d love to send you a copy of a booklet called <em>Pursuing God.<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s our hope that you would not only understand better what it means to be a Christian, but that you would surrender, you would respond to God\u2019s love for you by surrendering your life to Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can call to request a copy, 1-800-FLTODAY, or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, the title of the book is <em>Pursing God.<\/em>\u00a0 Just ask for it; we\u2019re happy to send it out to you and we hope it will help you understand what it means to become a Christian and help you make the decision to follow Christ and to obey Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also want to encourage you to get more information about the upcoming Help for Orphans Institute.\u00a0 This is being held on September 16<sup>th<\/sup> and 17<sup>th<\/sup>, so just a couple weeks from now.\u00a0 It\u2019s at the Hope Center in Plano, Texas.\u00a0 Some of the nation\u2019s leading experts on adoption are going to be at the Institute, there to equip you and your church to be able to better support adoptive families who are in crisis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you need more information about the Hope for Orphans Institute, and there\u2019s still room available if you\u2019d like to attend this event, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and you\u2019ll find a link there that will get you all the information you need.\u00a0 Again the website is FamilyLifeToday.com, or call us for more information at 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cToday.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me say a quick word of thanks to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 We are listener-supported; the cost of producing and syndicating this radio program is covered by folks like you who say, \u201cThis program means a lot to us and God has used it in our lives.\u00a0 We want to make sure it continues, not only for us, but for our whole community here on this local radio station.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we appreciate your partnership with us in this ministry.\u00a0 If you\u2019re able to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month with a donation of any amount, we\u2019d love to send you a CD that has a message on what it is that makes a marriage distinctively Christian.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLast year I presented this message as a part of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation National Convention.\u00a0 By the way, their National Convention is coming up next month in Louisville, Kentucky.\u00a0 The focus this year is on psychiatric disorders, and there\u2019s information on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com about that upcoming conference as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut this particular message was well-received last year and so we\u2019d like to make it available to you if you\u2019re able to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation this month.\u00a0 Again, the focus of the message is how should a marriage between two Christians look different than a marriage between two people who are not followers of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 There ought to be some difference, right?\u00a0 That\u2019s what we talk about in the message.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like a copy of the message on CD, all you have to do is type the word \u201cMARRIAGE\u201d into the key code box on the online donation form, and we\u2019ll send the CD to you.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, and made a donation over the phone, and just ask for the CD on marriage.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019ll get it out to you.\u00a0 We do appreciate your support of the ministry and just want to say thanks for your partnership with us here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and we hope you can join us back on Monday when Michael and Heidi O\u2019Brien are going to join us, and we\u2019re going to hear a great love story and some great music as well.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>"],"_seopress_titles_title":[""],"_seopress_titles_desc":[""],"_seopress_robots_index":[""],"duration":["00:"],"show_notes":[""],"_thumbnail_id":["294104"],"filesize":["23.35M"],"filesize_raw":["24479148"],"_uag_css_file_name":["uag-css-302355.css"],"_uag_js_file_name":["uag-js-302355.js"],"_uag_page_assets":["a:9:{s:3:\"css\";s:82560:\".wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape-top svg{width: calc( 100% + 1.3px );}.wp-block-uagb-container.uagb-block-e11dbe9f .uagb-container__shape.uagb-container__shape-top .uagb-container__shape-fill{fill: 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of children are waiting for homes, and many of those waiting have special needs.","meta_box":{"show_notes":"","transcript_url":"https:\/\/transcript.familylifetoday.com\/fl2011-09-02.pdf","transcript_content":"<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 A growing number of parents have made the choice to sacrifice and to care for children with special needs, children they\u2019ve adopted into their family.\u00a0 How can we as their brothers and sisters encourage those parents and minister to them?\u00a0 Here is Paul Pennington.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 All over the United States there are families who have adopted special needs and kids from hard places, and when they go to church Sunday after Sunday there\u2019s never a break, there\u2019s never a rest, there\u2019s no one that really has thought about what it means to be a family called to take a child like that.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAs special needs adoption increases, the one place where a family should feel safe, the one place where they have someone that understands, that gives them just that hour once a week where they can worship, should be their church.\u00a0 In those churches where they do think about that and they\u2019re being intentional, it\u2019s an incredible ministry.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 This is <em>FamilyLife Today\u00ae<\/em> for Friday, September 2<sup>nd<\/sup>.\u00a0 Our host is the President of FamilyLife\u00ae, Dennis Rainey, and I\u2019m Bob Lepine.\u00a0 When a family in your church makes a decision to adopt, those children become a part of the covenant community, and you become a part of the support structure for those families.\u00a0 We\u2019ll talk about that today.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd welcome to <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 Thanks for joining us.\u00a0 I know when you and Barbara made the decision years ago to adopt, to expand your family by adoption that was something that God had put on both of your hearts.\u00a0 But I also know that you were not fully prepared for some of the challenges that would come with that decision.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis: <\/strong>\u00a0I would say this, Bob.\u00a0 I\u2019ve had a lot of privileges in my life.\u00a0 Adopting our daughter Deborah is right up there in the top five.\u00a0 It\u2019s just a privilege to say to a child, \u201cWe want you as our own, and we\u2019re going to graft you into our family, and we\u2019re going to love you as God empowers us to love you.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThe thing that Deborah would say today and that we would say is that it was not nearly as easy as we expected it to be.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Not as easy for you, or for her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 No.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 It was a challenge for her?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, you know, she was an infant so I don\u2019t think she had any expectations.\u00a0 She was looking for another meal at that point.\u00a0 But I think Barbara and I both entered into the whole process of adoption with the right motivation.\u00a0 We felt like God was doing a work in our hearts calling us into this privilege.\u00a0 But I think there are lessons to be learned.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou know, our Heavenly Father is in the adoption ministry, too.\u00a0 He\u2019s adopting people all over the world right now.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 Some hard cases.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And they\u2019re struggling, all of us.\u00a0 It\u2019s not just some of them; it\u2019s all of us from time to time reject the Father\u2019s love.\u00a0 I think it\u2019s in those moments when those of us who do adopt a child and welcome him or her into our family, when we need some outside resources to come alongside us and to equip us to know best how to love that child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe have a couple with us who are real \u2013 I don\u2019t want to use the word \u201cpro\u2019s\u201d, because that\u2019s really not what we\u2019re talking about here \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 How about \u201cveterans?\u201d\u00a0 Can we call them veterans?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That would be a great one, because they have six children; five of them are adopted.\u00a0 They\u2019re just, in my opinion, real champions for the orphan.\u00a0 Paul and Robin Pennington join us on <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 Robin, Paul, welcome back.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thank you, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Thanks, Dennis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of our listeners know them.\u00a0 They\u2019ve been in touch with Paul and Robin.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always wondered how Paul gets everything he gets done during the day.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t(laughter)\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBack in 2002 Paul and Robin started an orphan care ministry in their local church.\u00a0 They wandered into Little Rock one day, kind of commandeering a lunch, which we\u2019ve already talked about earlier, and ended up coming here to FamilyLife and rolling up their sleeves, and really giving birth to more than just Hope for Orphans\u00ae, which is a division of FamilyLife, but also being a part of helping to give birth to the Summit, which is a gathering spot for orphan care, adoption advocates and foster care leaders from all over the United States and around the world, and now are helping couples all around the country know how to navigate the sometimes-challenging waters of raising an adopted child.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 I just want to add \u2013 you guys didn\u2019t just adopt five kids, but Robin, these were kids who were coming into your home with physical challenges, who were going to demand more effort, energy, more of your time, more of your care.\u00a0 You were stepping up and being sacrificial from day one.\u00a0\u00a0 Tell me about the physical challenges that some of your kids had, and that you knew about as you were bringing them into the home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, first of all, Bob, we weren\u2019t smart enough to ever think about it like you just said.\u00a0 We adopted them one at a time and didn\u2019t really see a lot of the challenges until later.\u00a0 And some of the challenges that we were concerned about ended up not being of any concern at all.\u00a0 Our first adoption was a domestic newborn who was a Caucasian little baby girl, and she now has five children and one of hers is adopted.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen our next child we adopted as a ten-day-old infant, and he is a black American, and then after that we had a big eight-year gap.\u00a0 And then Ethan was our first international adoption from Korea, and he was not special needs.\u00a0 And then after Ethan came Hope, and she had five heart defects and kidney issues and other problems. \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThen our next one was Noah, who has short arms.\u00a0 Out of all of those children our biggest concern was Noah.\u00a0 We thought that his needs were going to be huge.\u00a0 I remember Paul saying before we decided to adopt him that he really didn\u2019t know if he could parent a child that had needs like this, and he didn\u2019t know if he would be what this child needed.\u00a0 Interestingly enough, that has ended up probably being our easiest child out of all six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 Now when you say that, what do you mean, \u201cThe easiest?\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 A lot of families think that adopting the child with a physical disability is the most difficult thing.\u00a0 I think what Robin is saying is that we\u2019ve learned that that\u2019s not really the case.\u00a0 In Noah\u2019s case, here\u2019s a little boy who was born with short arms, missing fingers, doesn\u2019t have thumbs, has the best handwriting of my six children.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 By far.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And how long are his arms?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 His hands barely reach his mouth.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And I\u2019ll never forget the first time I met him.\u00a0 He was a delightful young man, and you described him as you just did now, Paul.\u00a0 You described him as a problem solver.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Mm hmm.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 He really is.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You wouldn\u2019t think \u2013 you just wouldn\u2019t naturally think that being born with a disability like that would create a mind that has to solve problems that the rest of us don\u2019t even have to address.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 The way Noah sees life is just really wonderful to me.\u00a0 He doesn\u2019t get frustrated; he just doesn\u2019t give up.\u00a0 He\u2019s persistent, he\u2019s creative, he\u2019s an overcomer.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 You know, Paul, twenty years ago if we had been talking about adopting children, the kids with short arms or heart defects were being overlooked.\u00a0 If most parents were going into an adoption agency, they were looking for the child to come with a clean bill of health.\u00a0 They were looking for what we\u2019d call the perfect baby.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tToday there is an openness.\u00a0 In fact, many Christians are saying, \u201cOur hearts and homes are open to kids with special needs, with physical defects.\u201d\u00a0 As I said, that can bring some challenges with it that parents aren\u2019t prepared for.\u00a0 You\u2019ve started to see this, and Hope for Orphans is really working to help churches and couples understand some of these challenges before they arrive.\u00a0 Right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\u00a0 We\u2019ve been seeing a need brewing in the church in America for quite some time now.\u00a0 Part of it is being driven by changes in the adoption landscape.\u00a0 More and more adoption is changing internationally.\u00a0 It\u2019s decreasing and the kids that are available are increasingly special needs, older and waiting kids, kids coming from hard places.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIn fact this next year, we understand, maybe fifty to sixty percent of all the children from China will be special needs kids.\u00a0 And as the orphan ministry movement has grown in the United States, we have more and more families that are willing to take these kids.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut unfortunately there has not been the knowledge to be matched with that compassion as it should be.\u00a0 And as a result, there is a tension coming here because the adoption agencies were designed twenty years ago really for healthy infant adoption, and now we have hundreds, thousands of believers who are adopting kids from foster care and internationally that have special needs, they\u2019re older, actually they\u2019ve come from very hard places.\u00a0 And that\u2019s where the need is great, and that\u2019s what we\u2019re trying to address with the Institute.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You mentioned the Institute.\u00a0 Explain what the Hope for Orphans Institute\u00ae is all about.\u00a0 It\u2019s coming up here in a few weeks, right?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Right.\u00a0 The Hope for Orphans Institute will be on September 16<sup>th<\/sup> and the 17<sup>th<\/sup> at the Hope Center in Plano, Texas.\u00a0 Our real focus here is the local church serving at risk kids and at risk families.\u00a0 That\u2019s our goal.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You\u2019re training trainers.\u00a0 When you speak of the local church, you\u2019re wanting to equip perhaps some pastoral staff or lay couples who are giving leadership to orphan care, foster care and adoption ministries.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s exactly right.\u00a0 We have \u2013 this event is designed for leaders in the local church and orphan ministry, but equally for pastors, elders, those that are providing Biblical counseling and such, because it\u2019s not if, it\u2019s when.\u00a0 This is coming.\u00a0 There is a wave of this need coming; we see it every day.\u00a0 The agencies cannot meet that need through child and family services.\u00a0 The only place that can meet this need effectively and biblically is the local church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 So \u2013 I\u2019m trying to imagine a family adopting a special needs child.\u00a0 How is that going to intersect with what\u2019s going on in the local church?\u00a0 I mean, they\u2019re doing their worship service on Sunday and they\u2019ve got small groups going on, and where\u2019s the church going to get involved in this happening, Robin?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Well, really through many means.\u00a0 One of the most important is helping families before they adopt to be prepared for what\u2019s to come, and that\u2019s through the lay leaders in the local church.\u00a0 The family who has already been there, walked that road before, can help this family before they get there.\u00a0 What should your expectations be?\u00a0 Because when you look at families that have successful adoptions, almost always the one key factor is that their expectations were realistic.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd for families who are going into it with unreal expectations, they\u2019re just appalled that it could be so difficult.\u00a0 They don\u2019t know where to go for help, and as the church comes alongside that family before they get into trouble, they can help that family to see what\u2019s ahead for them, the needs of that child, and the needs of their children that are already in their home.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 You had something \u2013 well, you\u2019d have to call it a tragedy \u2013 occur in your family.\u00a0 You had a daughter who adopted a special needs little boy, and from the very beginning you knew that the likelihood of him living a full, long life as we would think of it was not likely.\u00a0 Explain what happened and how the local church came alongside your daughter.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 Our daughter, Elizabeth, and her husband, Matt, who have five children \u2013 well, actually they have six now \u2013 they adopted Benjamin from Korea.\u00a0 He was a year old and had basically in laymen\u2019s terms, half of a heart.\u00a0 As they brought Ben home, his needs were even more significant than they had realized.\u00a0 Through Paul and I helping, through their local church, who brought meals, who watched their other children while they went to doctors appointments \u2013 there was one point where they were in the hospital for six weeks straight with Benjamin.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd they\u2019ve recently moved to Dallas near us, and they also attend The Village Church, and because Benjamin getting sick is such a concern with his heart and lungs, the church came alongside them and they set up a Sunday school class for our grandchildren.\u00a0 It was amazing.\u00a0 Every week they went to church and they just could not believe that people were giving their time for a private class for their kids.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also see like at Prestonwood Baptist in Dallas, they have an entire Special Needs ministry, and the woman who runs that is going to be one of the speakers at the Institute to help people know how can your church reach out and help these families, not just with adopted children but biological children who have special needs so the parents can attend church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the point is is that these churches are being intentional about welcoming and serving the special needs family, whether it\u2019s an adopted child or a biological child.\u00a0 One of the things we want to happen at the Institute is to give our attendees a vision for what special needs in the church should look like.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut going back to Benjamin for just a minute, just to show you what this can mean \u2013 when Benjamin was in the last days of his life, he actually \u2013 I\u2019ll just kind of mention this \u2013 he told Robin and he told his mom \u2013 he said, \u201cYou know, I\u2019m going to be going to see Jesus soon.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 How old was he?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Turned six.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 He was turning six, but we didn\u2019t know he was in the last days.\u00a0 Ben had been using oxygen for about a year-and-a-half all the time, and if he went more than 15 minutes without oxygen he would pass out.\u00a0 And my daughter and some friends in a Bible study started praying at the end of January that Ben might not need his oxygen anymore.\u00a0 She didn\u2019t tell anybody else other than this group that they were praying.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAbout ten days later Ben came to her and said, \u201cI don\u2019t need my oxygen.\u201d\u00a0 They told him, \u201cWell, you do have to have your oxygen,\u201d and he says, \u201cNo, I\u2019m going to see Jesus.\u201d\u00a0 So my daughter and her husband prayed about it and they said, \u201cWell, we\u2019ll take him off and let him go for a few minutes, and then have it be ready to put back on him.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThey took him off and he turned pink instead of blue \u2013 like he normally was a grayish-blue because the lack of oxygen \u2013 he turned completely pink and looked normal for the first time.\u00a0 None of us had ever seen that.\u00a0 And he went week after week.\u00a0 He told us that Jesus was coming to get him, and he told Elizabeth that he would miss her.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 He even said that \u201cJesus is going to pick me up in a red car.\u201d\u00a0 And then one morning the kids came and they said, \u201cSomething\u2019s wrong with Ben.\u201d\u00a0 Noah and I ran down there and Elizabeth was holding Ben, and I heard her say, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Ben.\u00a0 You can go see Jesus now.\u201d\u00a0 And he closed his little eyes, and it wasn\u2019t five minutes and he was gone.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI think I made one phone call to the people who had been providing the special needs care for their family at the church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 And they had been attending that church for a total of four months, so this was not the church that knew the family.\u00a0 It was a church that reached out and said, \u201cHere is a need, and we want to be a part of the solution.\u201d\u00a0 And as they came up the sidewalk after Ben went to be with the Lord, we were amazed that they sent their whole staff.\u00a0 I mean, eight people were standing there and started talking to the kids and took the kids individually outside and talked to them and kind of worked through \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Prayed with them.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 -- some of that with them and prayed with them.\u00a0 But that\u2019s just an \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Illustration \u2013\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 -- example of what the church can do.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 And the truth is, is that all over the United States there are families who have adopted special needs and kids from hard places, and when they go to church Sunday after Sunday there\u2019s never a break, there\u2019s never a rest, there\u2019s no one that really has thought about what it means to be a family called to take a child like that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut in those churches where they do think about that and they\u2019re being intentional, it\u2019s an incredible ministry.\u00a0 And that\u2019s part of what we want people to see at the Institute, is that as special needs adoption increases, that the one place where a family should feel safe, the one place where they have someone that understands, that gives them just that hour once a week where they can worship, should be their church.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I want Bob to share in a moment how people can find out more information about the Hope for Orphans Institute, but I want to go back to Ben\u2019s memorial service.\u00a0 You gave all your grandchildren a little memorial gift to symbolize Ben\u2019s life, and the reason I want you to share this, Paul, and I heard you say this before, who would think of adopting a little infant, a 12-month-old infant who\u2019s terminal, who has half a heart?\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut you made the statement that every life has dignity and every child has worth and value, and even if a child\u2019s life is months, only lasts months, they deserve a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And your daughter and son-in-law did that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 They did.\u00a0 Here\u2019s a little boy that \u2013 there are thousands of these little boys and these little girls \u2013 and the doctors told Elizabeth he might live to be 20, but he could very easily not live for three months.\u00a0 And Elizabeth says that she and Matt, as they prayed, they realized that either way, if they took him, at least if he\u2019s not going to be here long, he could die with a family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tOf course, isn\u2019t that what Jesus did for us?\u00a0 His plan for us in our sin, before He made the world, was a family.\u00a0 The answer for sin and the fall and all of the trash that we live on this planet with was that we could be part of a family.\u00a0 And here\u2019s this little boy with half a heart, and he came to Texas and he was our grandson, and God gave him faith.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe witnessed something that is a demonstration of the reality of God\u2019s Word and His truth, and this little boy believed and he had faith, just like Jesus says that we have to have faith like a child.\u00a0 We watched our little grandson, Benjamin, have that.\u00a0 I always will remember for the rest of my life that when he said, \u201cPapa, Jesus is going to pick me up in a red car,\u201d he looked me straight in the eye, and he knew in the spirit that Jesus was coming to get him.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tThis is reality.\u00a0 I was there when he was dying with Noah and Elizabeth and Matt, and when she said, \u201cIt\u2019s okay, Ben.\u00a0 You can go see Jesus now,\u201d he just closed his eyes and he was gone, because he believed. God had given him faith.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tSo at the funeral I got all of the boys together and their dads, and I gave them each a little red car, and I said, \u201cI want you to remember and keep this car, because the most important thing you can know is who is going to pick you up at the end of your life, and you want that to be Jesus, just like He picked up Ben this week.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 I think what you\u2019re touching on there is a part of the physical lesson of adoption and the spiritual reality that God wants to adopt us.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 Yes, He does.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 That He died and went to the cross and rose again on the third day so that He could indeed invite us into His family.\u00a0 And yet we\u2019ve got to receive the gift.\u00a0 We\u2019ve got to reach out to the gift and take it.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Paul:<\/strong>\u00a0 And it\u2019s not about being good enough.\u00a0 It\u2019s not about being smart enough.\u00a0 It\u2019s not even about having a whole heart.\u00a0 It\u2019s just about being willing to receive.\u00a0 And there are folks who are out there that are listening who feel like they\u2019ve not been good enough and they don\u2019t deserve it, but the truth is, none of us deserve it.\u00a0 All you have to do is be willing to receive that gift.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Dennis:<\/strong>\u00a0 And cry out to Jesus Christ, and pray the sinner\u2019s prayer, \u201cLord, be merciful to me, a sinner.\u201d\u00a0 I believe God at that point, I think He rescues, I think he declares you not guilty, and I think He places you in the ultimate forever family.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Robin:<\/strong>\u00a0 That\u2019s right.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<strong>Bob:<\/strong>\u00a0 And maybe some of our listeners have never understood what it means to have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, and we\u2019d love to send you a copy of a booklet called <em>Pursuing God.<\/em>\u00a0 It\u2019s our hope that you would not only understand better what it means to be a Christian, but that you would surrender, you would respond to God\u2019s love for you by surrendering your life to Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tYou can call to request a copy, 1-800-FLTODAY, or go online at FamilyLifeToday.com.\u00a0 Again, the title of the book is <em>Pursing God.<\/em>\u00a0 Just ask for it; we\u2019re happy to send it out to you and we hope it will help you understand what it means to become a Christian and help you make the decision to follow Christ and to obey Him.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe also want to encourage you to get more information about the upcoming Help for Orphans Institute.\u00a0 This is being held on September 16<sup>th<\/sup> and 17<sup>th<\/sup>, so just a couple weeks from now.\u00a0 It\u2019s at the Hope Center in Plano, Texas.\u00a0 Some of the nation\u2019s leading experts on adoption are going to be at the Institute, there to equip you and your church to be able to better support adoptive families who are in crisis.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you need more information about the Hope for Orphans Institute, and there\u2019s still room available if you\u2019d like to attend this event, go to our website, FamilyLifeToday.com, and you\u2019ll find a link there that will get you all the information you need.\u00a0 Again the website is FamilyLifeToday.com, or call us for more information at 1-800 \u201cF\u201d as in Family, \u201cL\u201d as in Life, and then the word \u201cToday.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tNow, let me say a quick word of thanks to those of you who help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today.<\/em>\u00a0 We are listener-supported; the cost of producing and syndicating this radio program is covered by folks like you who say, \u201cThis program means a lot to us and God has used it in our lives.\u00a0 We want to make sure it continues, not only for us, but for our whole community here on this local radio station.\u201d\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we appreciate your partnership with us in this ministry.\u00a0 If you\u2019re able to help support <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> this month with a donation of any amount, we\u2019d love to send you a CD that has a message on what it is that makes a marriage distinctively Christian.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tLast year I presented this message as a part of the Christian Counseling and Education Foundation National Convention.\u00a0 By the way, their National Convention is coming up next month in Louisville, Kentucky.\u00a0 The focus this year is on psychiatric disorders, and there\u2019s information on our website at FamilyLifeToday.com about that upcoming conference as well.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tBut this particular message was well-received last year and so we\u2019d like to make it available to you if you\u2019re able to help support the ministry of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> with a donation this month.\u00a0 Again, the focus of the message is how should a marriage between two Christians look different than a marriage between two people who are not followers of Jesus Christ.\u00a0 There ought to be some difference, right?\u00a0 That\u2019s what we talk about in the message.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tIf you\u2019d like a copy of the message on CD, all you have to do is type the word \u201cMARRIAGE\u201d into the key code box on the online donation form, and we\u2019ll send the CD to you.\u00a0 Or call 1-800-FLTODAY, and made a donation over the phone, and just ask for the CD on marriage.\u00a0 Again, we\u2019ll get it out to you.\u00a0 We do appreciate your support of the ministry and just want to say thanks for your partnership with us here on <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tAnd we hope you have a great weekend.\u00a0 Hope you and your family are able to worship together this weekend, and we hope you can join us back on Monday when Michael and Heidi O\u2019Brien are going to join us, and we\u2019re going to hear a great love story and some great music as well.\u00a0 I hope you can tune in for that.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tI want to thank our engineer today, Keith Lynch, and our entire broadcast production team.\u00a0 On behalf of our host, Dennis Rainey, I'm Bob Lepine.\u00a0 We will see you back next time for another edition of <em>FamilyLife Today<\/em>.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<em>FamilyLife Today<\/em> is a production of FamilyLife of Little Rock, Arkansas.\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tHelp for today.\u00a0 Hope for tomorrow.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tWe are so happy to provide these transcripts to you.\u00a0 However, there is a cost to produce them for our website.\u00a0 If you\u2019ve benefited from the broadcast transcripts, would you consider <a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/donate\">donating today<\/a> to help defray the costs?\u00a0 \n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\tCopyright \u00a9 2011 FamilyLife.\u00a0 All rights reserved.\n\t\t\t<\/p>\n\t\t\t<p>\n\t\t\t\t<a href=\"http:\/\/wp-stage.familylife.com\/www\/\">www.FamilyLife.com<\/a>\u00a0 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